2.1915 : 7/31/10 : Cheated

If you think you feel cheated
hey think about me
and if it gets repeated
well I guess it just will be

what

2.1914 : 7/30/10 : Or Get the Fuck Out

Answer now
answer now
or get the fuck out
will you deliver
or get the fuck out
You got got your gospel plow
Oh get the fuck out
but can you cross the river
bro get the fuck out
will you show me your reasons
get the fuck out
why it's all such a chore
hey get the fuck out
at the mercy of seasons
that get the fuck out
and swing like a great door
while I get the fuck out

what

2.1913 : 7/29/10 : Month

Barely aware as the
moon swells and shrinks
barely believe
a man's not what he thinks
but the thinking just so
has got something to do with it
whether he founders
or follows right through with it
thirty days
thirty one
not very scientific, son
some anniversary
that doesn't mean a thing
gone to weeds
all the ground
I try to hear the surf pound
two thousand miles away
to the month's mistress they sing

what

2.1912 : 7/28/10 : Backed Up Against

Backed up against
the ever present fence
doubting my capacity
and surely my sagacity
poor lolling vacant mind
pretend the tide is turning
and those days are already behind

what

2.1911 : 7/27/10 : Revision

Revision and remission and
the fusion of the vision
that could make the disparate parts
all sing out with the same commission
And where I once craved total peace
I've gone for plainer fare
And if you would see the land Revision
It happens I can take you there
Injunction and induction and
the restless forms of function
and the nights I lost unwinding
in the old absurd reduction
you can't pick it apart
though you might pick any point
the unraveling all ravels up again
articulate, all moving joints

what

2.1910 : 7/26/10 : Mr. Stupid

Mr. Stupid wants to be optimistic
but he's working with real bad material
Mr. Stupid gets worried by the smallest stuff
but the problems are a scale imperial
Mr. Stupid is glad that the missus
decided to keep her maiden name
because she doesn't deserve the title
because she doesn't play that stupid game
Mr. Stupid knows perfectly well
that this stupid night is a stupid dodge
a putting off of something inevitable
having to deal with the stupid messy hodgepodge
Maybe on some day not too distant
he'll get to once again feel like Mr. Smart
he can't quite give up though it's tempting
he has to pretend this is a stupid start

what

2.1909 : 7/25/10 : Prism

Refracted through the prism
I captured what I could
I lived the vital moment
I did what what I thought I should
It hurts to know it's partial
we only capture some
but I do it fully conscious
and am not deaf or dumb

what

2.1908 : 7/24/10 : Capture

I have to capture
the moment that occurs
and if it is messy
and hard to record
that is just the real
and in this moment
I truly feel
if you have to interpret
it is not so bad
the moment occurred
and I was glad

what

2.1907 : 7/23/10 : Unfair

Unfair I say and I refuse
to be ruled over and
run around by arbitrary rules
and cruel imaginings
and stupid phantom thoughts
Move along these are not
the paranoids you sought
I need a better system
but for now I'll just cheat
at a contest no one cares about
where there's nobody else to beat
and I suppose if I'm the only one
who cares about this grind of mine
it's all the more a reason
that I have to walk that line

what

2.1906 : 7/22/10 : Stellar

No thank you I refuse to sing that
no matter how true it is
or how much sense it makes
Let me tell you a lie about joy
and adventure around the corner
and a wild bet paying crazy stakes
Let me tell you a lie about change
it took exactly one day and
it stayed that way forever
there were no backslides and
there were no concessions
and it was just as easy as pulling a lever
feeling great and every day getting better
started out stratospheric
now you'd have to call it stellar
Yeah I'll sing that it couldn't hurt
any worse than another session in the cellar

what

2.1905 : 7/21/10 : Trains

The warm sound of trains
Northeast side
I can dream all I want to
but I'll never take that ride
And I can't say I feel bad
I've got obligations
that firmly preclude
riding the crazy stations
what are dreams worth
are they worth a nickel?
I don't even want to try
to cut that pickle
still something has to change
well something always does
and it pans out in its own way
just like it always does

what

2.1904 : 7/20/10 : Sufficient

What is sufficient?
I really need to know
So that I can prosper
So that I can grow
I guess things have been moving
but my God it's slow
will I figure out a damn thing
before I go
truly what's sufficient?
I must figure it out
why I'm still around here
what that fact's about
I'm trying to stay positive
trying not to pout
I fear the army's massing
and it's going to be a rout

what

2.1903 : 7/19/10 : Crash Come

If we all gave up
how much faster would the crash come
what if i just gave up
fixed my eyes on the cash and grabbed some.
maybe I'm just afraid
what if I sold out but no one was buying
back to being good but it doesn't matter
Christ what is the point of
Whatever you might think
the crash is not a delusion
though what it means nobody's sure
and its way is made straight by your confusion
if it feels inevitable
why do I have to toil toil in futile resistance
is it the off chance or some  principle?
I've still got no measure of the point
of persistence

what

2.1902 : 7/18/10 : Every Night

Find there's how it goes
the same way every night
there's how you get the
feeling nothing's going right
and if you think you'll find
the answer in a minute's work
in a few random scribbles
wait until you feel that jerk
the strand that snaps you
back into reality
And now you see it: the same old night
and every night you see
a little vision but it's
just not quite enough to deliver
that one swift kick
and so you settle for your sliver

what

2.1901 : 7/17/10 : Spirit Brother

I wonder if you saw me brother
my little shout hello
I wonder what your weather's like
could be rain or snow
sometimes it's nice not to
choose not to know so much
just that another brother's on the road
fill the world with songs, your special touch
I imagine my presence might offend you
I've been there if I might be so bold
I hope it's just my dumb mind again
hope you're better than me, not so cold
I sing a song for my spirit brother
really we are on the same side
maybe someday we will share a glass
raise a toast to the long strange ride

what

2.1900 : 7/16/10 : What if Nothing Happens

What if nothing happens for a reason
what you did before was simply wrong
or you were born unlucky out of season
born to false turns, singing the wrong song
If there's no plan, is that freeing
no more preconceptions, right
no fate to be chasing or fleeing
nothing but me in the long night
I keep looking for the middle
cliché land between my brain and heart
such a dullard's pain, yeah life's a riddle
and I mostly stall before I start
Maybe nothing's really worse or better
Always just been same old ebb and swell
Maybe I could knock off one last fetter
And hey presto all is well

what

2.1899 : 7/15/10 : Shame

It seems a shame, to be
stuck in this foolish loop
feeling hard pressed to help it
feeling mired in the soup
the little things are piling
and I it seems unequal
don't think that I can afford
to wait out for the sequel
I don't have a plot to pick up
I'm right down to scratch
I've felt cornered many times
but still this is one rough patch
but it isn't going to help me
to settle down at shame
I guess I have to try to believe
stand at least behind my name

what

2.1898 : 7/14/10 : It Still Sickens You

It still sickens you to see
each way we've failed
in the land of the free
what the news doesn't say
is almost as bad as what it does
and maybe worse some days
your prognostications were mainly true
You usually got things right
but you sure didn't hint what would happen to you
I guess it's likely you didn't know
there was always a lot of smoke with you
and you'd hinted you might up and go
I sort of hope you're someplace far
reinvented, sharp again
the better aspect, acerbic and bizarre

what

2.1897 : 7/13/10 : These Nights

These nights
have got a lot to answer for
but I can't get into it now
Failed on most points
Made it on a couple
not much excuse
for taking a last bow
better than nothing
just doesn't cut it
out there on the floor
I guess I'll be back
pray a little better
but I don't expect much anymore

what

2.1896 : 7/12/10 : All Night

Up all night
only to fail of the morning
look upon the sad
story as a warning
this shaky platform
can go up or down
for the best of everyone
I think I should conceal this frown

what

2.1895 : 7/11/10 : This Is It

How do I feel if this is it?
That is the question I chew in the pit
Is it this that makes me suffer
Full exposure, no kind of buffer
Is this it? the moment eternal
pulsing through an act of the theater internal
It is this that I'm forever returning
to see all that it it it forever churning

what

2.1894 : 7/10/10 : The Nothingth

What feels like the first
is really the nothingth
because I violated
time or something
far less interesting
than it sounds
and even tough I don't get to count t
consequence abounds
I had a terrible dream
that it was genetic
and the way I tried to
dodge the blame was just pathetic
and all I want to do
as a result today is nothing
If could just lie face down
on the floor it would be the thing

what

2.1893 : 7/9/10 : Good Story

Could I still tell
a good story
for myself
nobody else will
I suspect
but how I doubt
that could be
reality
and what I expect
is another and another
and oh God those
same old same old songs
and is it just
lack of acceptance
The misery
the fool prolongs

what

2.1892 : 7/8/10 : Bad Path

Hear feet slipping on a
bad path, going down
already blew a bunch of things
bad thoughts go to town
maybe halfway through
at best
and feeling nowhere nowhere
I see the escalator down
and I don't want to
go there
has it been this
dark before
and does it matter
anymore
I wish someone would
lead me from
this bad path

what

2.1891 : 7/7/10 : The Screw

The screw turns deeper than expected
revealing what was long suspected
The error is a broken heart
or some more esoteric broken part
the error is bad analogy
the screw was in the way I couldn't see
Which seems now rather fatal to the test
and hard to protest that I did my best
and if i saw that plan again I'd burn it
but when I see that X i have to turn it
I'm not sure what it is breaking into now
but I have to learn to live with
the screw somehow

what

2.1890 : 7/6/10 : Drowning

The dream is of drowning
and who am I fooling
deep down in my innards
ambition is pooling
and turning to something
tar black and disgusting
and all that I'm hating
and all I'm distrusting
just put that away
because it's not the night
to cease upon midnight
and fight that good fight
say maybe tomorrow
just like everyone
but then sometimes it is
by the sword, by the gun

what

2.1889 : 7/5/10 : Smokescreen

Deployment of the smokescreen
and similar techniques
Sometimes the moment merely passes
and sometimes it speaks
I'm going to try to get on track
and hope my good luck peaks
and maybe someday far ahead
I'll tell the tale to all my freaks

what

2.1888 : 7/4/10 : Fault

Ten years fly
nothing much changes
oh what a lie
all of reality rearranges
but there's still a fault
and it isn't just appearances
I'm not the sole one drowned in red ink
or banking on too many chances
Everyone believes in the fault
but never really thinks the quake will come
isn't it our way so predictable
so thoughtless and so dumb
out of words out of ideas
out of justifications
for persisting absent evidence
it's anything more than prostrations
before the dumb altar of a dead deity
something more I once thought I had
I guess I knew it was no easy ride
I really didn't think it would get this bad

what

2.1887 : 7/3/10 : The Long Goodbye

I'm not ready to let go
but there's no time for speaking
And I guess I better leave
before your poor eyes get to leaking
sometimes there's not a word to say
And yet you stare as the moments fly by
oh how you beg for just one more
day to drag out the long goodbye
sorry something's got my tongue
oh baby something's in my eye
and we both look like a mess
Well it sounds like the long goodbye
In the morning when you wake
something dragged you through grit and sand
Imagine I can barely smell
the dying perfume on my hand
think of arguments ten years old
a fight fought so long past
If I'd known then it wouldn't be settled yet
dear me I'd be aghast

what

2.1886 : 7/2/10 : Patchwork Revelation

It turns out there are five elephants
and every one is blind
And sister you will not believe
The mess that riddle leaves behind
it turns out we're all chained outside
and all the good shit's in the cave
You can stitch a patchwork revelation up
if you've got years and years to slave
what to call one who never succeeds
and still refuses to stop
is it worth it staying up
waiting for the cosmic shoe to drop
if you've got enough pieces
if you're really desperate
you'll end up with some crazy quilt
lurid and intemperate

what

2.1885 : 7/1/10 : Ultra Worm

Ultra worm the great purge
the twisting screw begets an urge
Pray to heaven for good news
'Cause lately I feel like the Devil stole my shoes
Oh great worm towering a mile
will you reset the clock, make me smile?
One more straw could bury me
What the hell Lord please stop scaring me
the small pain supplants the greater
something from long ago left a crater
a hole through the center of the doughnut
I'll be someplace else tomorrow this time no but
While I wait for the medicine to come to term
what can I do but offer thanks to the ultra worm
And get by like I always do
never quite what I imagine but I've still got you
what