2.4991 : 1/1/19 : Delusion

Landscape can't be all verges

So maybe it is delusion

Not tough to plumb the history

pinpoint the source

of my confusion

But it is what I arrived

at and the path is not so

clean

And the feeling of the

turning point

proves not always illusion

what

2.4866 : 8/29/18 : Next Recreation

The next recreation

better start real quick

overindulged

feeling a little sick

not in a cool way

like some cool kid

that's one illusion

I should be well rid

it's all a muddled cluttered

mess upstairs

the whole damn circus

feels like splitting hairs

Some seeing total breakdown

we should have such luck

I see another hundred years

of winding down

and staying stuck

what

2.4851 : 8/14/18 : Hollow Summer

Summer grows hollow

even in the heat

center turns to dry pith

in the long days' retreat

every one seems quicker

illusion of age

and really they've got longer

as our impact turns a page

never again that long spell

left on my own devices

better not to dwell

hours spent on fools and vices

and every hollow summer

falls into itself at last

thinking how to fall indifferent

thinking through and holding fast

what

2.4819 : 7/13/18 : Moth

Thing has no

direction

it's a restless

moth

illusion of

the restart

new, cut

from whole cloth

nothing to

pinpoint

no reference

sample

another week

to come

the same

evidence

is ample

what

2.4759 : 5/14/18 : Get Ahead

And now I think I see my chance

toe get ahead of the game

that I know is an illusion

but I chase it just the same

and if I do each thing just right

somehow pans out to the same

There's no ahead because there's

nothing but the game the game the game

While I cling to hope like a crazy hoarder

to think we used to laugh about the new world order

never imagined it could get so dumb and mean

to think I used to think I served the truth machine

that's enough that's where

I put my foot on the chalk mark

you better believe I will soliloquy

fall back before resolve so stark

In some sense I have stayed

one step ahead some way somehow

I'm hardly tearing up the scene

yet I've made it up to now

what

2.4638 : 1/13/18 : Ice

Skidding and slipping

how's this ice so thin

When it's been so cold

and how hard I've been working

must be an illusion

a danger mirage

I'll come back like a hero

with a workout montage

super privileged

sheltered secure

practically signed

for a big world tour

to explain the vision

half science half art

all provide I can fake through

all this ice built up round my heart

what

2.4553: 10/20/17 : The Circumstances

Wish I could understand

the highs, the lows

Where the one comes from

Where the other one goes

I see the circumstances

don't quite explain

is it all upstairs

phantom illusions in my brain

wish I could start over

jettison so much

but the things I must hold onto

aren't so negotiable as such

same old riddle

twist around to what now

pray for better circumstances

might even get around to now

what

2.4438 : 6/27/17 : Blocks In My Head

Eveyday illusion

of getting ahead

Stacking up imagery

tetris blocks in my head

whatever gets clear

keeps falling

and I'm giving up

early

howso you might

find it apalling

what

2.4409 : 5/29/17 : Bright Line

The bright line at last

present

spills into the past

at this cataract

and if anybody

deserves a second act

and a plot twist

this time no illusion

burn the sea mist

what

2.3976 : 3/22/16 : Steam

Less of the illusory

aspirational steam

more of the rolled flat

curdled as cream

this corner lately turned

hammer and rack

can't shut a one up

from the talking of attack

but I'll place another tin-patch

and pressure test the head

keep tending steam

and not spurn my bed

what

2.3961 : 3/7/16 : Illusion Sword

Will I live or die

by illusion sword

this shadowy

dragon's hoard

mist fade-in

sunlight

none hear it swish

as it cuts air

as I wish you'd spare

an ear to

my fight

and I cascade

blow upon blow

and oh down the

mountain we go

and here's a precious pearl

a hundred hundred

glimmerings all whirl

what

2.3946 : 2/21/16 : Grasper of Empire

Teach me great one

from beyond

the other side of

the great campfire

every illusion

every soft calling

throwing down every

grasper of

empire

too late again

missing my chance for quiet

no reclaiming

but I'll learn this round

not even going to

try to fix it

I'll go peaceful

not a sound

what

2.3772 : 8/31/15 : Strum Strum Strum

For want of a better plan

for the wish I was a better man

What I proved I could go on and on

but something that was here is gone

or is it just a dip, a clock pendulum

or could I get it back with a little strum, strum, strum

or maybe it was always an illusion

you can imagine my earnest confusion

vague feelings make a bland pie

sick today feel mostly past by

and stubborn enough not to fake a wrap up

One more bitter treat for the crows to snap up

what

2.3540 : 1/11/15 : Voices (Endless Axis 273/500)

I don't hear voices

no it's more like a hum

lean in and I'll murmur

where I reckon it's from

this kid I know showed me

two mirrors opposed

and the illusion thus composed

two kids

two tin cans

ten billion strings

why in the hell

am I still counting things

wanna get up up

I deny myself my favorite leaf

and the new one I turned over

was bitter

and gave no relief

Soon the black tide

will roll over

you'll laugh but that's my

bright side

I add that one to the

book of searches

and give thanks to my

thick hide

let me lose the marks and reminders

let me find work

and affix the blinders

and let the not-voices

drone and roar

and let me want

for nothing more

what

2.3512 : 12/14/14 : Beaten (Endless Axis 245/500)

Feelin 'em

beaten them

odds but

likely illusion

and other kinds

out worshiping their

gods in

all their profusion

My secret plan

was to

reproduce old destiny

probably a dream

but once did seem

it was a moment

drew the best in me

what

2.3505 : 12/07/14 : The Confusion (Endless Axis 238/500)

Hey wait I think I fell for the

illusion, you know they called me

the confusion and I fell for

the old forest just for a tree

now buried deep is any sense

I should get emotional sure

I could conjure up old highs lows

Words meant to insult and inure

If we live these old slaps over

knock my confused head right on back

Did we learn a thing I think not

the illusion shows not a crack

can't make an excuse anymore

of my confusion be it so

acute painful and burdensome

Might seem unfair well ain't it though?

what

2.2992 : 07/12/13 : Brick

A hundred things

flying around in my head

I get made once

how many times

must I sleep in this bed

seven thousand more

and then some

I'll ask for forgiveness

for everyone

What are we doing?

Stacking brick on brick

What are you building?

an illusion, trick

as long as there's structure

content can go whistle

as I'm gilding this lily

as I'm grasping this thistle

101 Curious Professions 37: Bricklayer

what

2.2846 : 02/16/13 : Always a Lightning Bolt

Always a lighting bolt
consequences great or small
that causes me to stumble
that causes me to fall
I try to get back up
so weak so very tired
sick of sickness metaphors
and the illusions they inspired

what

2.2738 : 10/31/12 : Masks

I used to think I
understood the masks
knew the real underneath
their purpose and their tasks
turns out there's no
onion underneath the skin
it's masks all the way down
nowhere to end or begin
don't know who's saying it
don't know who says anything
guess it's saying there's no who
just masks and wandering
you'd think that it would let me
off the hook at long last
guest I can't see past it either
despite all illusions past

what

2.2707 : 9/30/12 : Clever

Give be a big fat black marker
I've had enough of going dark to darker
I've had enough of being oh so serious
Ready to blow off the fog of the furious
     You could be oh so clever for sure
     and maybe end up as the jerk de jour
     but I am ready to try oh so nice
     I'll never break through well it's no big price
     I'm sick and tired of the clever smack
     And if I feel like no one's got my back
     It's an illusion and I know it's so
     Why not hum a little nice so la ti do
Give me a shredder tear the pages out
Want to be happy who care's what it's all about
want to be busy no time to think
about who the I thought I was or why the options stink
There I go again it's hard to change
Have to accept I may have found my range
Well nobody dies from keeping on trying
At least all the bustle will drown my sighing

what