2.5262 : 9/29/19 : Real Science (The Experiment: 97/100)

In real science

the data run is just the start

this is no science

I'd had to debate

it's even art

a protracted

growl of protest

I didn't get the

crown I wanted

and it hurts

down in my chest

You could call me

heartsick

I get afraid it's

not an idle phrase

and these eye teeth

are far too long

to gloss it as

a passing phase

what

2.5247 : 9/14/19 : Belongs (The Experiment: 82/100)

Counterpoint to the

horoscope

nobody belongs

here there

anywhere

I don't know

what I believe

how many hours

in this, that

chair

It'll go down hill

fast if I

start to add

that up

and I fear

the advent

of a bad disrupt

what

2.5236 : 9/3/19 : Routine (The Experiment: 71/100)

If I was having my

morning coffee

on top of eight

hours of sleep

If I was wearing

better shoes

would the routine

feel more deep

If I can't find one

tiny bright star

in the midst of the

routine grind

well I think I think

I feel I fear

I might just

misplace my mind

what

2.5203 : 8/1/19 : ABUNDANCE (The Experiment: 38/100)

Now to the anxious dreams

the opposite of abundance

I'm tired of the show

you know it's not a fun dance

I can't keep up the principle

no scarcity no striving

inside a nervous grasping

fears the future's new arriving

see it as the burden of

the day, no real condition

try to stand up straight and say

Still present for the mission

what

2.5196 : 7/25/19 : Write It Down (The Experiment: 31/100)

So far so good

don't even miss it right

this not so good

someday to be smooth and tight

like a drum like a hum

relax just write it down

there's no penalty for trying

choose a verb over a noun

choose a hope over a fear

see me shredding see me booking

said the teacher will appear

maybe this time I'll be looking

what

2.5180 : 7/9/19 : Equilibrium (The Experiment: 15/100)

Brief blinks of calm

between apprehension

of the existential stain

I suppose the whole

thing will come to

equilibrium again

not how I planned

it boyo

no not what I foresaw

but wasn't it

ever thus

the need to scrap and claw

I suppose I'll have to

give in soon

and talk up in the air

I guess I'll always face

the fear of

equilibrium bent beyond repair

what

2.5150 : 6/9/19 : Placebo

Take the placebo

guessing the affliction

is mostly in the mind

like anxiety, addiction

like mortal fear

the apprehension to save

a world unaware of me

Why rant why rave

just take the placebo

and get at the task

well it feels real enough

if you have to ask

what

2.5091 : 4/11/19 : Straws

Just piling straws

on this broke camel

no reprieve

for this sorry mammal

Praying oh what for

fear to say

deliver me for one night

anyway

what

2.4988 : 12/29/18 : The Kids

The kids are out

and I do my waiting

Not much thesis

here to be stating

seek balance

when there's so much fear

trust in the allright

and brook no further

baiting

what

2.4959 : 11/30/18 : Routine

What's scary? That

I stick with this

routine

Really not a prayer

of getting out clean

Heavens if I ever

came to balance the facts

Would I really even

know what that would

mean?

what

2.4796 : 6/20/18 : Write Good

Write good, I guess

I must obey

take every literal

word you say

picking favorites

it's a deep pool fair

or maybe just wide and shallow

hard to tell hout there

in my heart I fear

I'm in the heads down pack

evil runs around again

and I am seeking slack

yet get well bucked

every time I hit the box

If I could only harness

shift it all

in my own stocks

what

2.4762 : 5/17/18 : Taking It

Mad as hell

and taking it daily

protesting frailty

under a spell

worth achievement

what will fulfill

the fear nothing will

hold off the bereavement

on pins and needles

one spun off the cuff

made of sterner stuff

and pitch forward heedless

what

2.4690 : 3/06/18 : What I Fear

Try to imagine

talisman

magic feather

make me a new man

seen about

everything

seen next to

nothing true

see that it's

about the time

to make some time

to wrestle you

but in

the desert nights

you never appear

passed by

the turning point

long long ago

that's what I fear

what

2.4617 : 12/23/17 : Back to Ground

Far from the only one

sick of the grownup run

Time got so tight and fast

afraid to ask

how long it will last

feels like the terminal

round

I'll never get back to

ground

unless I find

what's the name?

each cycle comes

to this same

what

2.4593 : 11/29/17 : I Tried to Be a Ray of Light

one of these days

can I just stop

trying trying trying

never even caught sight

of the top

but I can taste the

foul and rust

sifting up from the bottom

You talk about fear

and loathing

hell yes I got them

It's just whining

I'm a whiny

little man

another cart of dross

to try to stuff

in the trash can

I tried to be a ray of light

for half a

thousand days

and who really cares

if neither one pays

what

2.4554: 10/21/17 : This Way Comes

Is it right to let the boy in on the mystery

of sadness and loss

of the ladder of compromise

and the dark cost

let a dead man choose the moments

no idea what's truly heard

this way comes the dark man

the story, the word

there have been other hard times

who can ever say which is harder

this I didn't see coming

overrich but rickety larder

In my own dark secret world

I'm bartering for hope

not sure what I'm offering

fearing all I'll get is enough rope

what

2.4550 : 10/17/17 : Slapdash

get slapdash

effortless

kill two questions

with one birdbrain guess

no fear of cutting

through the malaise

sure not celebrating

my slapdash ways

no question what's

getting my prime

crazy twinges

that's just spilling more time

what

2.4525 : 9/22/17 : Chorus

The plan will likely

fall apart

oh well before ten

probably another

round of

never again

oh comedown

chorus

Sing me in low

Starting to get

scared at

all I'll never

know

how to be OK

with that

it's really strange

used to never know

I lacked

what did I crave

if I knew the

hammer swiftening

what would I save?

what

2.4493 : 8/21/17 : Medac

Even in a

perfect enclosed society

might get sick

might get hurt

no fear

Collectivized and

medac bots

will make sure

you don't lose your shirt

you could call it

a necessity of meritocracy

who could excel

under such a burden

I'm getting vicious

message creep

in my fine

day dreaming

I never could manage

to suck the herd in

what

2.4450 : 7/9/17 : The Little Next to Nothing

The little, next to nothing

I've learned of death

Am I read for the first, or last

or next breath?

What of the arbitrary number

I may never attain -

or even yet I might -

Still what next? a tired refrain

and how long have I ever

managed to breathe without fear

was I ever really less

than one remove from here?

Here, really near

Yet I am in some sense

and sure enough to

leave it in the present tense 

what