The end of the beginning

The first songs of day project is nearing the end, just five songs to go. I'm trying to remember how I felt about the whole thing at the time. Ten years ago is a long time, though, and I was no longer keeping a journal at the time so I have no record appeal to. I recall being pretty caught up in my work situation, a condition that persisted for another couple of years. My never particularly robust aspirations to make some kind of a serious go at making music had definitely been pretty well cracked up on the rocks at that point. I think I was satisfied with my final songs. I don't think I felt much if any conflict about the project ending.

It is a weird, other world viewed through a lens of historical distortion, both personal and societal history. Before marriage, before child, before a gang of suicidal monotheistic zealots attained some fundamental change in this country, or maybe just better exposed a rot, a flaw that had been there from the beginning. Or maybe just opened my eyes more thoroughly to this thoroughly rotten world, I don't know. Before the world changed, again, and definitively not for the better. Before the turn of the century, and the beginning of this unpromising and fragile new one, in which I have been so thoroughly disappointed, now poised to commence the start of its tenth year. And me hoping as always for a better path, a better plan, some new philosophy, but for now left only with the one borrowed from another, to push on.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

996 : 12/31/00 : 5 to 1

Five to one and one to five
maybe the less blessed survive
Easy enough to slip off the coil
free of the misery heartache and toil
12 of one, half dozen another
maybe it’s like what I heard from my brother
the dice are loaded and the fix is in
The world is doomed and drowned in sin
five four three two one and none
Father holy ghost and son
counting down an uncertain fate
Certain to finish what’s on my plate

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

995 : 12/30/00 : Coming Down

One Billion billion unique crystals
suspended a mile high
coming down as soft as breath
all caught and frozen in my mind’s eye
Turn it all around an axis
skyscrapers, streets and cars
people shopping kids in strollers
Girls in shops and guys in bars
Coming down on all of it
in a soft and yielding pile
pushed around and off the streets
to linger for a little while
transformation comes so easy
with the seasons with the days
with the hours the world’s turning
it comes down and never stays
more than half a planet’s journey
since the question the reply
now it’s coming down suspended
caught and frozen in my mind’s eye

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

994 : 12/29/00 : Go To the Mountain

I went to Buddha and then
back to Jesus Christ
I went to Mohammed asked him
how he pulled the Mountain heist
The Buddha made a secret sign
And Jesus smiled and shrugged
Mohammed didn’t say anything
when at his hem I tugged
And I said guess I better go to the mountain
Guess I better go there myself
No point waitin’ for the Lord to
pull another miracle off the shelf
Guess I better go to the mountain
and argue my own case
Guess that I’ve exhausted the potential
of staying in one place

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

993 : 12/28/00 : Violence

A crucible constructed for the temperance of silence
the mode of execution was a whispered dream
the solitary method that came through was violence
the product of the process was the silent meme

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

992 : 12/27/00 : Resin

The residue burns easily and
leaves a resin in the bowl
That wise men mix with paper fortunes
light it with a burning coal
The resin the rosin the sap the blood
That flows all through the fire
settles on the back of my throat
seems to stimulate the wire
And when the pile’s been consumed
it leaves a residue behind
that powdered up and drank with wine
Blows wise men’s wise dogs’ minds

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

991 : 12/26/00 : Drill

When you drill into my head with pain
is that something
does that mean anything?
Sick to death and lying in the dark
is it supposed to do
anything but bark?
The drill is evil, the drill lets me down
you use the drill too much
it locks me in a frown
the drill detracts from my quality of life
but if it isn’t the drill
it’s the knife
I fell asleep and saw
the drill was in it’s hand
I came awake and saw
the writing in the sand
let he who has no sin
forsake the drill and what it means
the rest of them must stand in line
the drill waits too
behind the scenes

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

990 : 12/25/00 : Hello Kitty Kat

Hello Kitty Kat
howdja get to be a kitty like that?
Hello Kitty Kat
Howdja get to be a kitty like that?
Hello Mousiekins
Could I bother you to die for my sins?
Hey there Mousiekins
Is this where it all begins
Good day Malcolm Kay
Only 19 letters to judgement day
Good day Malcolm Jay
Good grief, going backwards, this could take all day
Hello Kitty Kat
What exactly do you make of that?
Good by Kitty Kat
dunno what it means but it ends like that

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

989 : 12/24/00 : Anticipation

Heaven’s gonna be like
sitting at the station
A permanent vacation
Waiting to traverse a nation
coast to coast
from last to most
there’s nothing quite so good
as the anticipation

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

988 : 12/23/00 : Rome

As the trains rattle the wall
I follow another ordinary call
I’m going home but it’s not my home
So to wrap it on the sixth line
I prepare to greet what’s half mine
What would be true wherever I may roam

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

987 : 12/22/00 : Couplet

Racing through oblivious not hearing
listening or seeing what you’re fearing
the rush of senses makes it seem okay
To write another couplet song today
Circularity betrays awareness
less’n you are dealing with His Freakness
even then you always used the loop
and there was even lower you would stoop
The technique calls for linkages via phone
the final proof we’ve never been alone
for every socket there’s a plug to fit
for every drive a spare to slave to it
despite a fear of landing on my feet
I’ll race ahead to couple with the beat

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

986 : 12/21/00 : Moon Water (Reprise)

Is this the enlightenment?
No more water in the pail
No more moon in the water
The moment I think I understand
it’s already out of hand
tied with a bamboo strip
fall through the crack in our lives
where one man falls another strives
And on the moon the water is
nowhere there is no water on the moon
there’s no pail in the mind
the moon and all are left behind
Another theory proves suspect
another paradigm reject
It’s all it’s nothing anyway
that’s all there is nothing else to say

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

985 : 12/20/00 : The Grim

The grim slow dragging
of days one like another
The endless cavalcade of
this and that and the other
The endless disappointment of
the phone that never rings
the endless meaningless parade
a thousand useless things

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

984 : 12/19/00 : Led Astray

Led astray
led astray
we’ve all been led astray
by
the biggest lie
the world had
ever known
Apparently they told us
that the world was
twenty inches wide
And if you want the
truth my mind
was blown

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

983 : 12/18/00 : Money Factory

Shake that
gingerbread box
baby
Act like you
don’t know what talks
maybe
You need a
lesson taught
Don’t you
you think you’re
clever but you’re not
Won’t you
Open up your eyes to see
that you’re
nothing but a money factory
a whore

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

982 : 12/17/00 : Simply

Simply brilliant in a
minute simply
plain as light
plain as
light
in a dark room
I will solve it
in a moment
with the first
glimmer
the spark
that lights
everything
the illuminated
void
simply becomes
a
bright
white
light

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

981 : 12/16/00 : One One Three Three

Eyes open upside down
read one one three three
half an hour to
another hour to
the witching hour
Another day done
didn’t finish
half of what begun
There’s nothing left
to this night
it got used up
But watchin’ Doctor Who
Late night channel 2
far past primetime
Saturday Night Live
No longer worth my time
Spinning out
no regeneration for this one
another life might wait
there’s only this one now so
I say only in my sorrow
there’s always tomorrow

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

980 : 12/15/00 : Prevention

An ounce of prevention
for a pound of cure
Sometimes our decisions
just can’t be pure
or can they?
another fine mess
up in smoke
Guess I should learn
to take a joke
what can I say?
I scarcely like to
Say the word aloud
admit that I had
Broken what I bowed
today a jar but what about the next Day?

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

979 : 12/14/00 : The Interlude

Dizzying heights
to either side
this is a smooth spot
in a Wild Ride
The rapids left behind you
the climb that looms ahead
It’s very little wonder
that you spent the week in bed
The interlude?
say what’s your question, dude?
This is just a
placid creek
But that mountain’s
got a mean streak
So close your eyes
be here now
lean close to me
I’ll tell you how
The interlude just comes and goes
and of its function no one knows

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

978 : 12/13/00 : Tempus Fugit

2,049 : 1 ?


Time flies like an arrow friend
fruit flies like a banana
Ain’t it just like they said
it would be back in Louisiana
Tempus fugit all the time
it never pauses or rests
and nobody seeks nothing more
than all the tempus one invests
Don’t look now the wheel is whirling
sure seems faster than before
Don’t look now it’s catching fire
Don’t look now it’s at the door
Don’t look back lest ye become
a pillar on the wastes
any man not worth his salt
will blanch at how his portion tastes
but if his wishes were like larks
in harness to a slender chain
and somehow all hooked up to time
We’d check time’s flight in vain

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

977 : 12/12/00 : Gauss

The measurement of action at a distance
extension, mass and time, the rhyme of resistance
The unbearable burden of being
of singing, writing, breathing, and seeing
Give me an inch, an ounce, and a second
A centimeter or a gram’ll do I reckon
Give me a magnet, give me a gauss
There’s a chemist rocking the acid house.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

976 : 12/11/00 : The Package

The package is prepared for takeoff
the freon’s been topped off
not gonna worry ‘bout the ozone layer
It’s headed far beyond the atmosphere
Carl said there must be a billion
like us except they made it past the first million
years or so and so survived
to inherit the stars their birthright
Let’s hope they find the package and
have mercy on our warlike land
I fear that based on current trends
it’s that or soon the human genome ends
We prepared the package with
the best that we could come up with
I personally deposited seven times
once for luck and six for my crimes
It’s drifting now past Jupiter
this song couldn’t get much stupider
and as it surfs past Saturn’s rings
I’ll wisely move on to wiser things

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

975 : 12/10/00 : Attempted

Fifth
suspected
attempted
communication
from the future
was
interpreted as a
self actualizing
lexical
feedback
response loop
manifesting
as a
pseudo-idiopathic
semi-autonomous
syntax
generation
engine

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

974 : 12/9/00 : Clutter

What at first appeared to be
a random heap that rose
from several thousand pointless tasks
not one came to a close;
the clutter rose a story high
and scattered over a block
seen from a distance with a squint
composed an ironic clock
which told time backwards starting from
when chaos ruled this all
a whirling maelstrom from which
appeared the primordial wall
the clutter gave birth to a gate
that passed between the planes
of corporeal clutter and spiritual decay
as little as that explains;
suffice to say as usual
there’s consequences and sides
sometimes you just take what you’re dealt
be grateful that the earth abides

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

973 : 12/8/00 : The Mushroom Grace

The mushroom grace’s tale is told
How yesteryear in days of old
the people found a mushroom that could talk
Men ate its fruit and spoke to god
a few remained forevermore odd
murmuring and casting wildly as they walked
its presence was ubiquitous
some claimed its spell iniquitous
a priesthood was arranged to guard its heart
The mushroom grace remained aloof
regarding one, defying proof
and proving in a sense the whole
appeared in every part.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

972 : 12/7/00 : Beginnings and Their Ends

No this is not the end
oh ends and their beginnings
Typical me still standing in line
and already I’m counting my winnings
at the beginning of the end of the beginning
I can only see dimly what it means
just that I rose an inch above the swill
and saw the great soul-harvest machines
Yes this still is the beginning
it comes with all the love he sends
Oh nature of the long journey
oh beginnings and their ends
Wake me with the early risers
pour my cup with theirs
it is not my nature but
no beginning quite compares

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

971 : 12/6/00 : Thirteen Minute Waltz

2,043 : 25 ?


One
two
three
four
five
six
seven
eight
nine
ten
eleven
twelve
thirteen minute waltz

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

970 : 12/5/00 : Fetish

The fetish for a
fresh shake baby
left a generation
shakin’ they head’n sayin’ “maybe”
nobody felt cool anymore
and mostly it was a bore
like fetishes always get
so it seemed
and whether or not the
video streamed
when she
screamed
we were dreamin’ of
the heart beating beneath the ribs

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

969 : 12/4/00 : The Early Riser Haiku (Haiku 5)

The early riser:
Haiku bent, brilliant and strong
declaring: no loss

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

968 : 12/3/00 : Suffice (Haiku 4)

Suffice it to say
I am so sorry I’m late
better than never

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

967 : 12/2/00 : Wurm Haiku (Haiku 3)

Wurm haiku goes like:
one two three, so to seven
frontwards same as back

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

966 : 12/1/00 : Haiku Too (Haiku 2)

real millennium
gestation, the child is born
this is haiku, too

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

965 : 11/30/00 : Stray Haiku (Haiku 1)

Confusion of verse
stray haiku flutters brilliant
I’m one line closer

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

964 : 11/29/00 : If I Don’t Burn

2,036 : 19 ?



If I don’t burn then how will I know
the way I’ve been and the way to go
I need a spark I need some gasoline
I need a mechanic to put wheels on this machine
If I don’t burn then I’ll never feel
the fundamental difference between false and real
I’m lost in the illusion I feel that I’m asleep
I sense my soul’s duplicity while trying to sound deep
the monks crossed their legs and set themselves on fire
they left a fearsome image but their aims were so much higher
If I set myself on fire it wouldn’t mean a thing
though few within a stone’s throw would forget that scream
Chicago burned San Francisco too
all the best cities so why not you
fire is the cleanser, the means of sacrifice
concealing every evidence concealing every price
If I don’t burn then I’ll just stand still
I tell myself I won’t but I know I will
I need some gasoline I need a spark
I need a little courage and an X to spot the mark

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

963 : 11/28/00 : Fetch

Fetch me something to ease this feeling
that it all comes down to me
just when my head is reeling
Fetch me something and make it quick
Show me just what makes me tick
how long does it all go on
just when you give up asking
poof it’s gone
fetch me something to make me forget
how little I can stand it
I need a faithful friend of man
to put the stick right in my hand
I need a carrot to tempt the horse
I’ll fetch it myself of course
I’m tired of waiting for the information
I need a break an eternal vacation
I’m tired of waiting for the muse to fetch
I’m tired of listening to myself kvetch
I guess I better just go after the thing
or find something else to sing

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

962 : 11/27/00 : The Negative

The negative balance
racking up higher
I’m feeling the constriction of
the rose and the briar
I’m blaming it on you
I’m blaming it on me
I’m blaming it on everything
on what’s to come and what’s to be
It’s written in black
but my mind is red
I’m falling far behind
but I’m trying to get ahead
but the final analysis
it hits me where I live
frustrated by the specter
of the negative

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

961 : 11/26/00 : Hard 8 Horoscope

The usual platitudes
they fail to disguise
the set of your jaw
the cast of your eyes
Steps softly this noontime
seek gatherings late
beware of the size of
the chop on your plate
I’ll grab 8 the hard way
then make my way back
into the whole life thing
The whole social track
I’ll throw 8 in two fours
wake 2 and wake six
and rise like a lark swift
just watch me no tricks

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

960 : 11/25/00 : I Dare You

I dare you to rise above
the tepidness you’re part of
the lives lived in dull accord
the lies we could ill afford
I dare you to chose a move
I dare you a heresy to prove
that everything that rises must converge
or be hung endless on the urge
I dare you to dare a dream
of something just what it seems

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

959 : 11/24/00 : Fuck Me

Fuck me baby
it’s a simple request
buck your hips with your head
down on my chest
take me how I help myself
lie back and get your rocks off
fuck me baby and I’ll Fuck you back
Yeah I’ll fuck your socks off
You don’t have to make me sane
Your answer can be maybe
say the word and I’m your bitch
So hey just fuck me baby

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

958 : 11/23/00 : Hard

There are hard lessons in life
there are hard lessons in war
It’s hard to understand just
what it is we’re fighting for
Sometimes it’s hard to be thankful
Sometimes it’s hard to be clear
And to keep the constant stream of truth
from flowing out the other ear
Give me a hard bed to lie on
give me a hard loaf to gnaw
and I’ll tell you how I travelled far
and I’ll tell you all I saw
Seven years living the hard life
trying to see what it was about
I only just realized the other day
that I still had to find my way out
So take a hard look at my coming and going
and answer a question true
If the better way is the harder one
does that mean I’ll walk it without you?

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

957 : 11/22/00 : Core

2,028 : 11 ?


The core is only
white light and the rush
hot hard or soft
Shouts whispers hush
anticipation
is a game we play as long
as we can get away with it
the core of the dance is the song
we’re getting near the center cap’n
Should we go to stealth
if you want to penetrate the core
you can’t fear too much for your health

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

956 : 11/21/00 : Brief

Then out like a
brief candle

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Consummate my relationship with your brain

Or if that just sounds too freaky for you, merely consume. After a long hiatus I have reopened the Media Empire Shop for business. To celebrate I'm offering a just ever so slightly scandalous actual physical product for sale. There's a whole big story about it you can read if you're, you know, into that kind of thing.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

955 : 11/20/00 : Bad Novel

An overly descriptive and
derivative
mass of pottage
self obsessed,
confessional
unstructured
unprofessional
My life’s like a bad novel
my life’s like a bad novel
my life’s like a bad novel
by a bad novelist

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

954 : 11/19/00 : Response

Respondez vous, s’il vous plait
you know I get one every day
Request response if you so please
How do you judge it on your knees
Under duress duty or need
Compelled to grovel beg and plead
compelled to be a proper bitch
and cower at the lash’s twitch
Demand response a show of heart
demand an answer to your art
Do not consider don’t delay
Simply respond, s’il vous plait

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

953 : 11/18/00 : Instantaneous

Right now
only what I feel
a waiting a wondering
only what’s real
turned around a center
an unseen balancing
just a need to rhyme
hung and spun there dancing

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

952 : 11/17/00 : Verbal

let’s make a verbal agreement
you and I
not a contract
not an eye for an eye
no handshake required
my word’s my bond
In a world of bad faith
we’re a firm step beyond
Let’s make a deal
to reveal the new sound
let’s run the running dogs
right into the ground
Let’s lead an army
of five or ten
make everything new again
the only way to go is verbal
no marks on paper no bad blood allowed
let’s make a pact to push on baby
make the new sound
and make it loud

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

951 : 11/16/00 : Parting Shot

Bend over and take your
parting shot, loser
It’s a winner’s world and
I win a lot
don’t let it confuse ya
I’ll take the final word
I’ll end the dialog
I’ll administer the final shot
and disappear into the fog
so
stand up and
take my parting shot
loser
You think you’re winning
but you’re not
the proof’s here:
While you try
to turn my crank
I’ll laugh all the way
to the bank

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

950 : 11/15/00 : Genesis

2,021 : 4 ?


In the beginning
it all seemed the same
The credits rolled
and then it came
genesis in flashing lights
neon pulse and sway
pointing to a neon cross
world of tomorrow today
In the beginning
one day came like the last
and ended on a hesitant
note, not quite really past
and smiling past what seemed to be
into the vortex forming
I looked out of the window
and saw the snow was storming

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

949 : 11/14/00 : One Last

One last song before I
tip into the bottle
oh my baby done me wrong
and left me chokin’ my own throttle
one last short
before I stumble down the road
lookin’ for a way back baby
to a home that never showed
well it may be that things are changin’
it may be a change is due
for that wind to change direction
blow these troubles back to you
one more nip out of the bottle
one last store bought cigarette
I just took about a thousand
but it just ain’t hit me yet

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

948 : 11/13/00 : Short Climb

Do you want the short climb
in the long run
Do you want what’s settled
Or just begun
Do you want a long climb
to a new horizon
be careful what you ask for
and what you keep your eyes on

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

947 : 11/12/00 : Election

Run a ring a ring around
the rosy spectacled go-round
another vote another count
another four years won’t amount
to much except the rhetoric
and by that time I’ll bet you’re sick
of looking for a suitable mode or direction
away to deal with the election

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

946 : 11/11/00 The Other Half

Hey Guvnor:
we gonna follow you to
Washington
Follow you to Washington
Follow you to Washington
Unify the other half
and rewrite the constitution
Four years down the road
Hey Guvnor:
We gunna carry you to Washington
On our shoulders every one
Marching each to his own drum
We only need one issue
and it’s all about
election
Comin’ four years down the road

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

945 : 11/10/00 : Last Reckoning (27/27 Two Word Songs)

Last reckoning

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

944 : 11/9/00 : Gumption’s Ghost (26/27 Two Word Songs)

944 : 11/9/00 : Gumption’s Ghost (26/27 Two Word Songs)Gumption’s ghost

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

943 : 11/8/00 : Shifting Sand (25/27 Two Word Songs)

2,014 : 66 ?


Shifting sand

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

942 : 11/7/00 : Lesser Evils (24/27 Two Word Songs)

Lesser evils

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

941 : 11/6/00 : Wrong Answer (23/27 Two Word Songs)

Wrong answer

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

940 : 11/5/00 : Temperate Man (22/27 Two Word Songs)

Temperate man

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Caveat Collaborator

A friend wrote me the other day and among other things praised the two word songs (just a week left now, my how a month flies), which was unexpected. He also pointed out one of those things that is so utterly obvious as soon as it is pointed out but I swear it never occurred to me before, which is that they represented a ready-made batch of enigmatic titles for instrumental compositions. Never occurred to me.

I'll tell you though, I can see why it wouldn't, because I don't much, particularly lately, think of myself as a musician. Creatively I think of myself, if anything, as a lyricist. I do sing, a lot, and I suppose I shouldn't short-change that, because I'm not a bad singer. But in terms of composition and performance, I've generally given up. Becoming a competent instrumentalist is an every single day kind of undertaking and I don't have it in me. I am one of the world's very, very large supply of mediocre guitarists, and when I used to compose music for the guitar I was a terrible serial abuser of many overused progressions involving D, A, G, E, and C (with the occasional cheater F not done as a proper barre chord or minors of D, A or E thrown in). I played the clarinet in high school, and there is some ghost of a recollection of proper embouchure and the rudiments of keying lurking in the back of my brain I'm sure. I picked up a bit of sight reading singing with a church choir. That is about it. I still know basically nothing about music theory, don't get scales, how chords work, minors or major this or that, don't know what a "fifth" is.

I sometimes daydream, not very hopefully (and certainly not to the extent of taking any positive action) that I might find my musical counterpart, sort of, a copiously prolific composer and performer of music that I could neatly pair lyrics to, do my singing and be otherwise relieved of musical responsibility. I've had only one really substantial relationship of musical collaboration in my life, a long time ago now, that really did not work out for a variety of reasons (a fair share of which were my own fault). Right now it is hard to imagine taking music seriously even as an avocation. I feel constant pressure to try to do all the housekeeping and working and time volunteering and managing of home economics that are on my plate. It is hard to reconcile any of the necessities of serious musicianship, playing out, regular practice, going on tour, with my lifestyle as a homebody father and homemaking part time science research guy. A while ago in a blog that since got eaten by internet bad luck I wrote

There isn’t much chance of getting around the fact that one of the central questions (if not the central question) of the ongoing [song]writing is why I continue to lash myself to write lyrics day in day out when the pleasure I take in it is minimal, when (more relevant than anything) I have all but given up any dream of ever doing anything significant with music.  In fact something other than that even, I have given up any belief in a future for my music, which exists however I might belittle and disdain it, and yet dreams persist.  Dreams I don’t believe in, dreams I pity and despise.  Must I really toil in my inadequacy, just to dish thin gruel for disowned dreams?

I'm not quite so down on my current creative production these days. Still. This kind of attitude should generally serve as a warning to any putative potential collaborator, I suppose. Warning, subject is "complicated," and honestly I'm not all that damn sure that I'm anywhere near good enough to be quite that complicated. Not that I've asked anyone to get in line to try out for the position, not that anyone would if I did. But I sometimes wish I was willing to. I think, however, in the interest of keeping it all ambiguous, that when people ask me what I do these days I will tell them that I am a lyricist.

939 : 11/4/00 : Wealth Trip (21/27 Two Word Songs)

Wealth trip

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

938 : 11/3/00 : Baker’s Dozen (20/27 Two Word Songs)

Baker’s dozen

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

937 : 11/2/00 : Present Tense (19/27 Two Word Songs)

Present tense

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

936 : 11/1/00 : Storm Coming (18/27 Two Word Songs)

2,007 : 59 ?


Storm coming

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

935 : 10/31/00 : Structural Constant (17/27 Two Word Songs)

Structural constant

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

934 : 10/30/00 : Sweet Sixteen (16/27 Two Word Songs)

Sweet sixteen

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

933 : 10/29/00 : Fall Back (15/27 Two Word Songs)

Fall Back

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

932 : 10/28/00 : Indecisive Man (14/27 Two Word Songs)

Indecisive man

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

931 : 10/27/00 : Unexpected Outcome (13/27 Two Word Songs)

Unexpected outcome

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

930 : 10/26/00 : One Past (12/27 Two Word Songs)

2,002 : 54 ?


One past

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

929 : 10/25/00 : Lost Contemplation (11/27 Two Word Songs)

Lost contemplation

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Mr. 3,000

Some odd theme of riffing on the odd elements of the now-purely-archival It's Rome, Baby! these days. Ah, when 300 seemed like a lot. Aaaaanyhoo.

Maybe I'm just overcompensating for my lingering sense of inadequacy that I blew off nearly a month of the original songs of the day project ten years ago writing a bunch of two word "songs". Though truth be told in posting them day by day the two word songs are actually sort of growing on me. They do represent a sort of distilled microcosm of my oeuvre. Which is a great thing to have handy, considering how doing this thing has gotten me absolutely nowhere and is of no interest to anyone. It has occurred to me that on some fundamental level I should refrain from these occasional outbursts about the general failure of my creative endeavor. I try to accept it for what it is, I really do. And on the other hand, since seriously nobody reads it, what difference does it make? If a whiny bitch whinges in the forest alone, does he make a pathetic, annoying little sound? Zen responds: who gives a fuck?

Anyway.

As I say, the It's Rome, Baby! content pops up, randomly, which got me actually reading some of it, which I definitely haven't done much of in a couple years... As the previous paragraph probably illustrates I lack the M.C. prerequisite skill of self-praise. But damn it, I still really like a lot of what I wrote back then. Obviously I have no ability at all for self promotion and presentation, but still. I am irate at the total silence it has all solicited sometimes. Which I hate, I absolutely hate, whenever I read some amateur passive-aggressively bemoaning their lack of recognition (begging to be contradicted, as it usually reads), I just feel embarrassed on their behalf. Maybe I need to really take the bull by the fucking horns and vow from this day forward to, if I am to speak of my writing at all, do so ONLY in that great Hip Hop Spirit of outrageous self-adulation.

So, in celebration of the season of Halloween and the announced release of the FINAL and 3D edition of cinema's cherished Saw series, allow me to return to my inordinately clever and hilarious take on the series produced five prescient years back. My textual recreation of a classic Rube Goldberg illustration is so damn awesome. I am an ever-loving force of nature, 'possums. Peace out.



...Oh yeah and I wrote the 3,000th song of the day last night I guess, number 1,999 of the second project, entitled "Party Like It's". Which among other things presents me with another cherished opportunity to point out the fact that the phrase "party like it's 1999" is now the melancholy refrain of the nostalgic middle-aged.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

928 : 10/24/00 : Running Breathless (10/27 Two Word Songs)

Running breathless

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

927 : 10/23/00 : Mushroom Grace (9/27 Two Word Songs)

Mushroom grace

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

926 : 10/22/00 : Blind Spider (8/27 Two Word Songs)

Blind spider

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

925 : 10/21/00 : Lucky Number (7/27 Two Word Songs)

Lucky number

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

924 : 10/20/00 : Upper Room (6/27 Two Word Songs)

Upper room

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

923 : 10/19/00 : Ambient, Rising (5/27 Two Word Songs)

Ambient, rising

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

922 : 10/18/00 : Affect Miser (4/27 Two Word Songs)

1,993 : 45 ?


Affect Miser

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

921 : 10/17/00 : Ellipsis, Ellipsis (3/27 Two Word Songs)

Ellipsis, ellipsis

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

920 : 10/16/00 : Hasta La (2/27 Two Word Songs)

Hasta La

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

919 : 10/15/00 : Push Harder (1/27 Two Word Songs)

Push Harder

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

the dreaded enigma of the two word songs

In a move sure to fail to impress we now arrive at a period of 27 days in which each "song" I wrote contained 2 words.

I vaguely recall having at the time some half-baked ideas of fitting these substandard efforts into larger projects of music and recording that never materialized (any idea that you can only vaguely remember and came to no fruition is by definition half-baked) but as I view it from a decade's perspective the real underlying narrative is pretty clear. I'd decided by this point that I was going to stop at 1,001 songs (unlike the second project an endpoint was not built into the original conception of the first, its scope was completely open-ended for quite a while), and the end was in sight but still well off, and I wanted a vacation. This was the closest I could come up with while keeping to the letter of my self-imposed guidelines.

At some point in the past I developed the false memory that I'd initiated this series under the influence of that "Cellar Door" thing I first encountered in the movie Donnie Darko (I have since been modestly surprised to learn that there is apparently some provenance, although an ambiguous one, for this idea), but since I'm certain that I was introduced to the lore of that particular phrase by said movie, and since the movie came out in 2001, this clearly wasn't the case. However weak the effort of this near-month may have been in terms of the overall project, I do recall attempting to draw up two word phrases with a certain resonance.

I have now no doubt written more words about these songs than are comprised by the lyrics themselves. Bonus for feed readers is that up through the tenth of November, once you've read the title you've read the song. Onward and upward.

918 : 10/14/00 : Circle Round the Sun

Draw a circle round the sun
with your finger trace the bend
draw a circle in your mind
no beginning and no end
look at my face through a circle
made with your finger and thumb
here’s a circle made of light
assured to make your heart succumb
3-6-5 world makes another
circle round the sun
trace once again the circle
where it ends is just where it’s begun

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

917 : 10/13/00 : Witchglass

I couldn’t resist a little look
into the witchglass
I couldn’t stand missing a glimpse
of what would come to pass
So when the witching hour
had rocked halfway across again
I rolled it over one more time
and contemplated mortal sin
the witchglass so the tales go
can’t be created without death
the preference being an infant son
killed by a cat stealing his breath
but long gone and done is done
the glass remains to taunt
cursing all you did not know
or fearing fates, that known, must haunt
I couldn’t resist a little peek
into the shadow realm
looks like we’re in for four more years
of straw men at the healm

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

916 : 10/12/00 : Friday

On an inauspicious Friday
close to getting carried away
by the moon
by the full moon
realized a simple pattern
saw a glimpse of the wheels that turn
on the moon
on the everfull moon
I was making vows and wishes
Dreaming up exotic fishes
on the moon
on the bright full moon
on that bad luck day of plenty
nude al fresco and al denté
in the moon
slumbering in the moon

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

recent history and other strange phenomena

So I've transcribed all the extra-curricular songs from distant past to just the other day (as per this rumination and these two).

I mined out everything I could find of songs I'd written outside the structures of the daily projects. I've noted along the way that I have indeed definitively lost at least a few lyrics - songs I can remember the existence of but can no longer remember enough of the words to recreate. I wrote this crazy embarrassing song in high school that addressed the topic of some girl who shot me down in a D&D kinda knight in armor on a horse metaphor that I'm fairly disappointed is apparently lost to the ages. I can only remember a few fragments of it but it still makes me laugh. No record of the songs I wrote for my first college band - with whom I won the annual college Battle of the Bands one year. Somewhere out there is a videotape of that award-wining performance and I recall not that long ago ripping the audio from said cassette so I suppose I could reconstruct the missing lyrics if I could track down the audio file, which did not yield to cursory investigation. It's been a couple years which contained a couple different computer issues and transitions in which some amounts of data were irretrievably lost so who knows. Nothing I couldn't live without though again there is at least one song in the bunch I pine for, a little. One or two songs of more recent provenance (of my mid-twenties, say) that I recreated from memory but can't shake the feeling are missing at least a verse each. And of course the unknowable lost AND forgotten songs which may or may not have existed, remaining only as a vague memory for someone for whom I played them once upon a time, or perhaps as a scrap of recording on a tape that is slowly expiring in a box somewhere. So it goes. Even my finest efforts now will probably not survive the increasingly seemingly inevitable collapse of modern civilization.

The total on those came out to a surprising 80-ish songs, I was expecting to find rather less. Posting during the interim will not be so sparse after all, though I may indulge myself in taking weekends off for a few months. I was expecting at best a few dozen. Of course 80 seemed like a lot more before I started measuring these things in the thousands...

Anyway. Having done all this it comes now finally to start transcribing the second project. I have this dream of one day getting to the point where I am actually transcribing the songs I'm writing within a day or two of their creation, and I suppose now that I have saved material to carry me through next May I am closer than I have been before to this ideal, but it remains to be seen whether I'll manage the long-term persistence.

It is interesting though - I have read the songs of the first daily project a lot - I re-read them a fair bit when I was writing them, and during the 4+ year interim when I did no daily writing (and virtually no songwriting at all). I started blogging these songs in earnest not much more than a year after I took up daily writing again and the upshot of all this is that while I was pretty well acquainted with the material of the first project I have barely read the material of the second project at all. It is only 5 years old but it is pretty much all coming up as a complete surprise. I have no idea what the next page will bring.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

915 : 10/11/00 : Early Riser (II)

1,886 : 38 ?



Could another silence pass
still leaving him no wiser
as to fate or how to act
nonetheless the early riser

Walks on eggshells three past noon
noon in this case being midnight
roaming the streets with an honest man
look for a dim dim light

If you get passed by the early riser
so early it’s almost tomorrow
say a little prayer for the ones like us
who’re haunted by another’s sorrow

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

914 : 10/10/00 : Hold Out

I am a hold out
I’m waiting for the big score
Not gonna cash my option
not gonna sell the store
I’ve got a hold out
I’ve got something tucked away
Something better for times of no money
Something for a rainy day
don’t search for the hold out
don’t find it tucked into my jeans
when you force my hand at last
I’ll show you what it means

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

913 : 10/9/00 : False Spring

False spring
Don’t be deceived
by a fragment unremembered
Mayed Juned or Decembered
Don’t let the hot flash
Make you think you’re on fire
don’t let the perfection make you
think your fates are not dire
don’t be fooled by the false Spring
don’t be fooled by anything

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

912 : 10/8/00 : All Good

What can I say
I’ve no complaints
every day’s a good day
Simple as can be
what a picture it paints
All good is all I see

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

911 : 10/7/00 : Welcome Paradise

Welcome paradise into your life
wherever you find it
don’t try to spindle or bind it
Leave everywhere you go
a little more paradise than you found it
Spread a little paradise around it
Welcome to paradise my friend
it’s just a dream that need not end
throw your windows open and
say welcome paradise
Each day has got its twists and turns
And with each bend the wise man learns
tracing a path out straight
to paradise
And if it never hits the top
Well everything that rises must drop
See you on the flip side
I’ll be waiting to say
welcome to paradise
with your ride

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

910 : 10/6/00 : Painful Exercise

Getting sick of painful exercises
no prizes
he who early rises
writes on the first page
Any hero of the modern age
would tell you
for whom the bell tolls too
Forced verses are on my last nerve
maybe they serve
to temper my reserve
no freestyler no
7 minute miler
just a writer with a block
a rock to
contemplate
a proof of fate

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

909 : 10/5/00 : Event Horizon

The possibilities are a spherical wave
and something’s always coming around next
and no one knows for sure just what we lost and what we save
and this mystery unsolved leaves us perplexed
on the edge of happening now
before the moment’s moment came
the ship got placed before the bow
and stem to stern was crossed the same
The vessel of the present time
is rearranged, the course reversed
Edgewise there the moment’s prime
event horizon there dispersed

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

908 : 10/4/00 : What Must Not Be

1,980 : 31 ?


Deliver me from the valley of decision
my minds collapsing out like nuclear fission
What must not be has been opened wide
look what’s down inside
I sit and wait for fate to
turn me up another card
hopin’
you’re not just another thing
I wind up taking hard
But whatever the card might say
wind takes the words away
Finally in the end
Left behind before the final bend
Deliver me to realization quick
I like my cookie but I don’t like the stick
I don’t like to study and I
don’t like to work
you must think I’m some jerk
but what must not be
Kept hold on me
living somewhere in the middle
cloaked in darkness silent riddle

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

907 : 10/3/00 : Smoke

Our spirits are like silver smoke
in crimson jars and it’s no joke
that when the vessel’s broken smashed
and seems a shell all futures dashed
against the rocks of circumstance
the great toll sounds to end the dance
goodbye to romance and dreaming
still in absence there’s a seeming
something lingers in the night air
could have sworn that you were right there
Thinking that you might spare me from
this fear of my spirit’s freedom
You said my spirit’s always free
and you said what will be will be
And now I truly see your face
the smoke your spirit in this place

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

milestone

As of a couple minutes ago I finished transcribing the final song of the last volume of the Songs of Days, project one, which (all things going according to plan) will be blogged January 5, 2011, ten years after its writing. So I've been working on a substantial backlog of transcribed material to blog, not to mention all of the songs written outside the daily structure I'm currently rendering to digital in service of the coming inter-project interim. I'm currently mining the notebooks of college days, which is, uh, well let's just say it's a trip down memory lane. And so it goes.

906 : 10/2/00 : Early Blues

It’s so early in the evening; I got them early evening blues
Oh it’s so early in the evening, got those early evening blues
Oh I don’t have a guitar or my blue suede shoes
I get up early in the morning, I get those early morning blues
Yeah so early in the morning, get me those early morning blues
makes me feel like a drifter like I got nothing to lose
oh early blues in my blue suede shoes
Nothing to lose but that’s no excuse
get down early in the morning get down early in the night
everything will turn out right
When it’s so early in the morning, get those
early morning blues
Oh so early in the morning
got those early morning blues
Oh it can’t be nothin’ it
can’t be nothin’ that I choose
I get those early early blues

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

905 : 10/1/00 : Thin

My excuse is getting thin
ready or not: time to begin
one last interrogation
of the last empire nation
While our brothers drop like flies
they’re binding us with pretty lies
the magic picture tells the tale
and we toe up to the line without fail
and my patience is wearing thin
with or without me out or in
I’m not gonna watch another friend go down
as long as I’ve got some pull in this town
there’s a thin line between safe and dead
a little birdie came to tell me pull out my head
and start fighting back today
you can ignore it but it won’t go away

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

OCR

I've said something to the effect before elsewhere but one of the pleasures of being a late technological adopter is taking delight in some technical sleight of hand that is utterly old hat for the world in general. I ran optical character recognition for the first time this morning and Great Scott, my computer can read hard copy!

This shows up here because lately I have been digging into my files in search of all the songs I've written outside of the daily projects, in service of having something to post during the interim - the current project I'm blogging ended on January 5, 2001 and the second daily writing project started on May 4, 2005. I've become attached to posting songs on the same date they were written, hence there's going to be a 4 month gap. I'm pretty sure I don't have anything like enough extant songs to post daily but it will at least keep the thing alive. For all its millions of avid readers.

Anyway.

So I've gotten through the easy stuff, organizing the songs I'd written on the computer in the first place or transcribed earlier for some reason, and then through the less easy stuff, cleaning up the songs I'd transcribed in the distant past and existed in file formats that had been mangled by subsequent technological drift. Leaving a substantial file of handwritten hard copy and a small stack of printed songs for which the originating files have apparently been lost.

There's nothing for the former but to get them transcribed, same as the Songs of Days books - humans can barely decipher my handwriting, let alone computers. But the latter is a source of irritation. I typed the damned things into a computer at some point, and furthermore I have gone to a certain amount of trouble and expense over the years to drag all my files kicking and screaming through the various shifts in computer technology. The hoops I jumped through when Apple abolished the floppy disk (and my next most recent computer had neither an optical disk writer nor a USB port) was ridiculous. And yet here are files that clearly were, their physical manifestation undeniable before me, yet gone. I have to retype the things.

But wait, I think, what about this wonderful Optical Character Recognition technology I've heard so much about? Now, commercial OCR has been around for decades, and consumer-level OCR has been around for, well, decades... I just never bothered with it. My current plight inspired me though, I fired up the scanner and started translating the pages into TIFF files, found a free service online (albeit with a Captcha requirement and a ten upload per hour limit) and literally like a minute later there it was, a paper document rendered to copyable, pastable digital text. Magic.

Easy as it was (the source material was ideal for OCR - clean, first generation print-outs on single pages), ironically I suspect that, between setting it up and figuring it out and (now) choosing to go online and write about it, if I'd just sat down and typed the things I'd probably have been done with this whole thing half an hour ago. But that wouldn't have been cool (even if it's only cool to me at this point).

904 : 9/30/00 : Rush

Feel the rush the feeling that
feel the stutter shudder in your hat
feel the instant that you smash into
the glass ceiling so near above you
It is true that life is fragile, frail
and the rush can make a strong man fail
on the new year’s day we all must pause
check our worst conundrums for an escape clause
strapped into the wicked chair
soon to be no longer there
spent too long inside the rush
and caught up in the usual crush

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

903 : 9/29/00 : Eve

Eve of a question mark
another age arisen
and we’re still so badly organized
getting fired and put in prison
Who are the leaders these days
college boys in daddy’s suit
Dogs will never understand
the piping of the magic flute
and as an evening creeping in
I ponder what I must achieve
breaking through the strange dominion
of the twilight to the eve

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

902 : 9/28/00 : Machine

I am a machine
an animated thing
no living being
soulless and clean
I fulfill a role
dig the deeper hole
a vein of blacker coal
I’ll eat the world whole
another coded spiral
the pill’s construction viral
the slightest twist of chiral
key unlocks your firewall
and I’m feeling half machine now
when I asked why I didn’t mean how
give me a sailboat with a clean prow
I’ll leave with a libertine bow

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

901 : 9/27/00 : You Do

1,971 : 24 ?


Once more before the cube
the maze of the Machine
versus rube
and the final scene
Whole thing
blowin’ up very slowly
all my favorite memories
are just some movie
or an idea I got off the teevee
is that really true
I guess the answer’s up to you
I hope I know what you will say
I try to say it every day
and always always turn to you
yeah just like you do you do

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

900 : 9/26/00 : Quasi

Quasi: not quite there
meta: around somewhere
para: alongside by
as I quasiparametamorphosy...

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

899 : 9/25/00 : Docta Faustus (II) (Faustus 25/25)

Docta Faustus
Original ghost in the machine
dealt with the devil and
got out clean
living or dead
it doesn’t matter any more
when the doctor
rolls in another score
Paging Docta Faustus
on the universal hip hop phone
since he committed upload
we don’t ever feel alone
Dial up
ghost signal in the night
carried on the microwave
or visible light
That’s it
just a little yarn we spun
a ballad of days to come
just now begun

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

898 : 9/24/00 : Mephistophelis/Lament (Faustus 24/25)

Hey Mephistopheles
what d’you make of these
new fangled contrivances
is the doctor still there like he tried to convince us
Did you win the software or the shell
what exactly gets dragged down to hell
the flesh is alive but there’s no one home
the rest of him lives wherever it may roam
leaving you with a slip of paper
the doctah lit both ends of the taper
leaving you with a twist of ash
the coma case and a million in cash
Hey Mephistopheles
lament your unwatched q’s and p’s
the doctah it seems slipped through your hands
resides now in strictly virtual lands
Hey devil what’s the new deal
sign up or back out or do what you feel
The doctah claims that it’s all new now
I saw him on the teevee he was showin’ me how

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

897 : 9/23/00 : Birth (Faustus 23/25)

It’s hard to see the pattern through the pain
hard to believe in mind without a brain
And something giving birth to its own self
while seeming to sit silent on a shelf
what seemed at first a pattern nothing more
an odd job getting in on the ground floor
and now maintains a semblance greater than its parts
from humble origins evolved in fits and starts
and finally in a moment thick and blue
the world gave birth to this conclusion true:
a bit of Faustus wound up everywhere
leaving the shell to rock and sit and stare
And leaving Faustus where? Well none can tell
It seems he’s everywhere yet gone as well
a different take on immortality
the sea gives birth, a new modality

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

896 : 9/22/00 : The Sea (Faustus 22/25)

The sea of information rises
restless, full with strange surmises
something is at work within
it’s almost ready to begin
what seems at first a lexicon
waits for a word to turn it on
while Faustus’ body rocks and drools
the strange sea deconstructs its own tools
watch it rising like the great wave
watch it duplicate and save
a million digital file clerks
delete the chaff and dupe what works
the thing is loose upon the net
ascending every parapet
it’s telling lies and telling time
it’s even learning how to rhyme
the sum of it infects the sea
and none know what that sum will be
knows only that it must break free
knows only that its name is Me

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

895 : 9/21/00 : Blank/Whisper (Faustus 21/25)

Nothing saying says the blank
whispers: No word No word
Nothing moves behind the eyes
no one said and no one heard
nothing written on the wall
whispers many, many, take that
nothing moving there at all
nothing underneath that hat...

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

894 : 9/20/00 : Annihilation (Faustus 20/25)

1,966 : 17 ?



Teeth chattering with the glory
Is this the end?
or beginning of the story?
my mind’s tuned into the Big Sound Station
signal seems to whisper:
Annihilation
something’s arising
in an electron sea
looks a lot like my thoughts
but it is not me
and as I suspected
the price of its creation
is nothing short of Annihilation
Feel my memories stripped away
Game over
no time left to play
ready for the final revelation
see what really waits behind
annihilation

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

893 : 9/19/00 : The Chair (Faustus 19/25)

Strapped into a chair of
my own devising
electric current sparks and
the fields are rising
nuclear resonance
fields and spin
‘trodes are strapped across
and sockets plugged in
got my hand poised
ready on my own switch
the goal is deliverance
but the transfer’s a bitch
I’m strapped in the chair
of my own design
experiment’s a risk
but the choice is mine
teeth clenched hard
on the electrode
make my mind blank
get ready for the upload

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

892 : 9/18/00 : Hole In My Head (Faustus 18/25)

Gotta speed to make it in time
velocity scares me and reason’s my rhyme
the playback trick’s eating holes in my head
and if I take it all the way I’m dead
Why does everything start out small
and turn into a monster ten stories tall
why does every taste start out sweet
when kicking it will turn into an almighty feat
a little hole here a little hole there
I told myself I didn’t miss it or care
but I am nothing without memory
maybe someone but someone’s not me
painful dilemma because it’s not a drug
it ain’t a habit I ain’t no thug
and if I give it up I lose my soul
but the pill I have to swallow is a burning coal

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

891 : 9/17/00 : Playback (Faustus 17/25)

Nothing more frightening than a mirror babe
Don’t scare me with the sound and the furor babe
I’ve screwed in my courage, ready to attack
No one will expect this tactic this playback
I’ve found out that experience can be recorded
I’ve found a way to replicate what memory has hoarded
I’ll hide my mind in the silicon stack
release it through the medium of playback

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

890 : 9/16/00 : New Tricks (Faustus 16/25)

The devil is trying to turn my page
I signed my soul away for wisdom and age
I bought myself time to pursue a hack
and I thought I could buy the whole thing back
but this hole is deeper than I thought
and I can’t figure what I really bought
I’ll keep trying solutions till something clicks
but I think I’m gonna hafta learn some new tricks
I studied language I studied verse
I studied for better and for worse
I studied the nature of the unexamined life
truth was my torment study my wife
So I found an answer or what looks like one
But it seems to preclude a walk in the sun
there’s only one direction on this road I flog
I guess it’s just how tricks are for this old dog

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

889 : 9/15/00 : The Path (Faustus 15/25)

Get on the path get on the bus
you found your row to hoe
so don’t make a fuss
Accept the connection
The path and it’s direction...
Is there a way to set the mind on fire?
Yeah uh huh uh huh Yeah uh huh
Is there a way to turn it all to wire?
Yeah uh huh uh huh Yeah uh huh
There is a method if you do the math
Yeah uh huh uh huh Yeah uh huh
There is a method but is it the path?
Yeah uh huh uh huh Yeah!
I’m goin’ down it
I’m gonna drown it
Face the final upload
No way around it
I’m gonna do it
Punch in straight through it
Follow through
or face the fate
of all before who blew it

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

888 : 9/14/00 : To Know More (Faustus 14/25)

In the race to know more
what’s true and what’s in store
I’m standing here perplexed
mind fixed on what’s next
the rocks and the ages
and all the turned pages
the lords and the bounties
the counts and their counties
make no misapprehension
I’ve thought past these few dimensions
pierced into the perspex prism
healed with mud divined with jism
raised the dead ideals up high
raised up old Vug and asked him why?
just to know more
more than before
more than ever
falter never
just to arrive
cut through the jive
and hook up the connection
to the people’s insurrection

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

887 : 9/13/00 : Ergo Sum (Faustus 13/25)

1,959 : 11 ?


I think therefor I am
thinking about you
thinking of what’s true
making a mind up
circuits or wind up
therefor I am
automaton man
Is the mind composed of thoughts?
are the thoughts composed of words?
are our minds tied to the flesh?
or could they leave and fly like birds?
I think therefor I am
making a mess of things
deadlines duress that brings
the sharper understanding
I am standing
at the brink of how the
revolution will come
I’m building my replacement
ergo sum

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

886 : 9/12/00 : What is Truth? (Faustus 12/25)

What is truth?
What’s truth mean?
is it full?
is it clean?
is it tuned?
does it spark?
come in braille?
leave a mark?
is truth cruel?
is truth hard?
does it knock?
leave a card?
what is truth?
does it come?
does it stay?
is this some?

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

885 : 9/11/00 : Knowledge (Faustus 11/25)

Now I will seek knowledge of the
nature of the mind
And I will chart the architecture
of the tangled web’s unwind
knowledge is a purity
hustled enough to set it free
dance with me baby
let me show you the way of the
knowledgeable man
Look at me just doing
What I can

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

884 : 9/10/00 : Piece of You (Faustus 10/25)

Hey man just checkin’ the clientele
did the money man thing it’s just as well
It’s a power of a sort I guess
Do we still own a piece of you? Yes
Mephistopheles at your service
allow me to compliment your biz
congratulations ain’t you the man
swear your meteoric rise was more than I could stand
You’re still in bed with the Devil son
You’re still stuck with me nowhere to run
Wealth can always disappear
like fairy gold leaving you here
We made you we can tear you down
We’ve got your bankbook and your golden crown
Settle back stop making trouble
pray for a world to rise from the rubble
after we finish your power trip
and beam back to the mothership

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

883 : 9/9/00 : Cash (Faustus 9/25)

Platinum, diamonds, on seven fingers
diamond fob watch - glasses for the opera singers
titanium frames - designer - Italiano -
Jap switchblade and knucks for the mano a mano
black pearl cufflinks platinum studs
quartz pipe stuffed with hydro buds
eelskin wallet stuffed with cards and cash
foil wrapped bricks of turkish hash
German lighter cutter and case
Cuban cigars everything in its place
Egyptian cotton an eelskin belt
pants look like poplin and feel like felt
cell and pager digital attaché
and a plain black case to carry the booty away
and also inside the requisite gun
only one setting and it ain’t stun
caseless ammo through a floating breach
cluster fuck bad luck sponges and bleach
I got to protect my investments
I gotta find a life less bent
cash out while I’m still ahead
before me and the thrill are dead

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

882 : 9/8/00 : Desire (Faustus 8/25)

I’m feelin’ the root of all evil...
(What did I wish and what did I desire?...
what did I wish and what did I desire?...)
I’m... feeling confusion in my mind
confess the bizness drove me blind
I left some key or code behind
some strange twist back on the road’s unwind
What did I wish? What did I desire
a fast way past the perilous fire
that rises as a barrier to all who aspire
to turn aside the reign of this dark empire
and gagging on the taste of evil’s root
I wonder if I’ve been none too astute
I saw the devil in a three piece suit
Church shoes and a fat diamond ring to boot
Where’s my title where’s my contract
Where is it written down to which wall I’m backed
and the way I let the odds get stacked
by my heart’s desire and a salesman act

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

881 : 9/7/00 : Ways & Means (Faustus 7/25)

Scratch a sharp glissando on the ol’ harp strings
Sittin’ back and talkin’ ‘bout the ways and means
I see a straight path to a fast incline
but I’ve got consequences on my mind
do I dare subversion in the first degree
should I really make them like me
Write it down on a scrap of tape
there is a bigger picture we cannot escape
And if I fear the ends don’t justify the means
and ways we make these scenes
The way of meaning is the secret path
but it doesn’t come free of wrath

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

880 : 9/6/00 : The Money (Faustus 6/26)

1,951 : 3 ?


It’s all about the money, scratch
ounce for ounce and batch for batch
filthy lucre silver gold
I got to be ruthless and cold
I’m all about the money, juice
dimes for dollars or an ace from a deuce
expedience my only moral
no time to get sentimental or rest on my laurels
Money is a shiny trap
Get caught in the illusion you’ll taste the strap
easy to get pulled into the game
forget your real treasure’s name
I’m all about the money true
but it’s not for the money I do what I do
my higher purpose is to set myself free
escape from the lion the devil has on me

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

879 : 9/5/00 : Tha Life (Faustus 5/25)

I can’t resist but it can’t be right
livin’ tha life forever night by night...
The deal’s signed in blood and locked away
what have I sold what did he give away
did I offer him the coffer or the keys
What went home with Mephistopheles
I can’t resist but it can’t be right
Livin’ tha life forever night by night...
Now I’ve got time to run down the juice
to buy me time to set my thoughts loose
create at last my master stroke
an ifreet a name I invoke
I can’t resist but it can’t be right
Livin’ tha life forever night by night...
by the time the deal comes back to me
I’ll have another card, get out of jail free
I’ll demonstrate the new technique
The evidence the proof I seek
I can’t resist but it can’t be right
Livin’ tha life forever night by night...

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

878 : 9/4/00 : Drawn In Blood (Faustus 4/25)

The line is always drawn in blood
The downpour that precedes the flood
and crossing it accept a prize
that bars the doors of paradise
signed in blood and sealed with tears
the poison forced into our ears
the sickness for the sickening prize
a mad spark behind jaundiced eyes
that grasps the pen and taps a vein
and leaves behind a crimson stain
seal the deal prepare the plate
and servants offer up my fate

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

877 : 9/3/00 : Terms (Faustus 3/25)

There’s always terms and
there’s always a catch
there’s always payments and
it’s always a stretch...
and I’m a dealer with a history
but the terms of this deal are new to me
you say my soul’s the asking price
but here’s a twist so let me ask your advice
if by chance I didn’t believe
in the commodity
should I reconsider my beliefs
or figure that the deal is free
should I put it in a box
and send it U.S. Mail
do you have a contract or a bill of sale
there’s always terms and
the offer’s not what it appears
but if it’s true I have a soul
I haven’t used the thing for years
so show me the papers
show me the line
show me the goods and show me where to sign

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

876 : 9/2/00 : The Offer (Faustus 2/25)

Hey I got something to offer
proffer what you want to
get your hands on
know there’s high demands on
Don’t act surprised
my office says you had a call in
stop your fronting and your stallin’
let’s get down to business
or on to whatever
choose it yes or no
you really want to live forever
trust me Docta I can arrange it
Man of resources saw your chance
and chose to change your fate
let’s step into your office
let’s talk about the terms
or hey stick with the deal you got
to sleep forever with the worms

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

875 : 9/1/00 : Docta Faustus (Faustus 1/25)

Paging docta Faustus
caller at the office
the gentleman with the horns
says he’s here to meet you
says he’s sure you’ll see him
here to discuss some crown of thorns
or something or the other
the moors or heights that wuther
or the corruption to which flesh is heir
it seems he’s a solution
an oath or institution
some contract or time share
paging docta Faustus
careful thought you lost us
You better come and choose
to send him back wherever
or hear out his endeavor
an offer he say you can’t refuse

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Hide it under the mattress

The provocatively titled Pornographic marks the end of the 6th volume of the Songs of Days, "Before the Wave." Tomorrow will begin the 7th and final volume of the first song of the day project, "The Mushroom Grace."

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

874 : 8/31/00 : Pornographic

You’ve got a pornographic laugh
it excites me incites me
to reveal a slender shaft of wit
You’ve got a pornographic mind
surprising so mesmerizing
I’ve got to slip inside of it
oh baby talk to me the way you do
I’ve got to get inside that mind I’ve got to find
the secret to that kinked charm
I’ve got to make you laugh again
and make you give it up that laughter fills my cup
I’ve got to hear it with you on my arm
You’ve got a pornographic heart
Can’t look away I’ll stare all day
Oh baby won’t you pin it on your sleeve
I’ve got a sentimental bent
I’m listening to that heart glistening
with love so pornographic I cannot believe

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

873 : 8/30/00 : Immortality

1,943 : 23 ?


It is written:
Immortality shall
come from the nano
infiltrating through the ears
that’s the secret plan-o
some may try
resist the change
the nano will not spare them
don’t you know the sole cure for
our miseries is to share them
aren’t we gonna get bored daddy
aren’t we gonna crack
aren’t we gonna break down
when that monkey’s on our back
they say we’re afraid of dying
I say most still fear to live
careful what you ask for
what the nano has to give

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

872 : 8/29/00 : Cassiopeia

Cassiopeia I thought I’d see you
when I let my mind go free
you would descend and speak to me
Pale Andromeda love to get my hands on ya
Why not reach for a star
From wherever you are
And there’s Orion always Orion
Far past the Autumn sky
this year is not yet passed by

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

871 : 8/28/00 : Unintentional

Unintentional’s the
only way to slide into the
Waking sleep the
big hibernation
along winter’s sleeping
my own counsel I’ll be keeping
fiddling while the forest burns
the season turns
and I’ll be waking soon

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

870 : 8/27/00 : Intentional

If you feel a closeness to me
If I seem to understand you
I assure you the effect’s intentional
If you found from time to time
that I was not far from your mind
I assure you I strive to be three dimensional
with you
If I’m smarter more accomplished
if I have surprising charm
I assure you it was my aim always
stretching back nine years or more
a chance encounter so much in store
waiting for encounters in chance hallways
Intentional I aimed at you
and though you seemed untouched by me
I never really wavered in the end
And when I knew the time was right
brought my intentions to the light
trusting that somehow you’d comprehend

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

869 : 8/26/00 : Fifth Principle

Under the thumb of the fifth principle
out of excuses or out of my skull
just trying to find a place where I may rest
but everywhere I go I’m put to the test
This is the wild card that goes anyway
the fifth principle that does not lead or obey
written in water or traced on a stone
it doesn’t appear till it finds us alone
the concept the blueprint the marker the map
and beyond all that a big bucket of sap
and I’ve got a bucket for every tree
and the fifth principle it means nothing to me
but there in the last run I’ll see it arise
and the error of my ways revealed to my eyes
then we shall see what we save what we cull
laboring in the sun of the fifth principle

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

868 : 8/25/00 : Sister Strap-On

Here I am in this Post Modern age
Hey uh sister strap-on
Won’t you rattle my cage
I need a shock to shake me free
I need someone to punish me
Uh bend me over sister
make me your wife
I beg you sister strap on
revolutionize my life
Just take me round the final bend
round to where the road won’t ever end
Here I am on this rack of sin
Dear god sister strap on
When does our session begin
Educate me to your ways
I plan to be down here for days

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

867 : 8/24/00 : Choose

Virile, sterile, puerile, hung
choose to choose the song that’s sung
Led by Plato, Proust or Jung
clever, sever, lever, lung

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

866 : 8/23/00 : World Fever

1,937 : 16 ?


Fever the descending moment
falling back into the same old
Try so hard to step up to a
new horizon in from the cold
The whole world has got a fever
caught it back in fifty one
Used to think just I could see it
now I know I’m not the only one
what is causing this affliction
that has kept us up at night
brooding over past mistakes
and waiting for a hint of light
Fever an ascending chorus
rising to a different, new
way of seeing acting being
step up stand up follow through

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

865 : 8/22/00 : Arcana

Unrecorded in the lesser Arcana
after twenty years of eating manna
and wandering in a crazy style
I got an urge to settle down a while
The spirit hovers over the water
Reveals the pattern with a vector plotter
no surprises to get wild about
it’s all circles and they all move out
In the lens the all-seeing eye
ups the magnification high
enough to see on the head of a pin
what seems to be an angel counting him
It’s a mad religion true
obsessed with fives and the color blue
The Greater Arcana records not a word
and this is all just things I heard

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

864 : 8/21/00 : Credit

Slide the card through the slot
come on slide it
make the magic machine
Shower you with gifts
For being just the
great thing that you are
the great hand of the marketplace
invisibly through all the human detritus sifts
Oh yeah
that’s right
the foundation of a new day
oh yeah
that’s right
we’ll build a great society on top of it
Uh huh
it’s true
I gotta be crazy
sliding it through
their filthy slot
crazy for giving what
I haven’t got

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here