2.1983 : 10/7/2010 : Recovery

After the affliction
the recovery
past the worst depths of addiction
hopefully some discovery
reminder of better days
oh how we are poorly dealt
in so many way
another dense brick of evidence
for the disbelievers
why'd you make such flawed vessels
such faulty receivers
no answer there
yet you helped me at my darkest hour
the paradox of recovery
the discovery of a hidden flower

what

2.1982 : 10/6/2010 : Almost

Complete failure on
almost every level
so many chances to
run hot or run cold
I'm no ascetic
and there's no chance to revel
and I wasted another day
dreaming about gold
almost everyone I know
has gotten too busy
to worry about my problems
well I shouldn't complain
cause they all seem small
but all in all I get quite dizzy
when I stack them all up
and try to explain
I almost thought I had
an inkling of the answer once more
I didn't even bother to
write it down this time
I knew what I'd be chewing on
knew what was in store
knew it would all but evaporate
at the first bell's chime

what

2.1981 : 10/5/2010 : Sawing

That violin that I hear sawing
away
is just a bow fixed to
a dumb spinning wheel
a high sweet voice
heard in a dream
is a stylus scraping down
a disk of steel
good heavens did we
slip back a decade or two
there's no redeeming
this wretched start
but it's just another dram
in this damn hell brew

what

2.1980 : 10/4/2010 : Möbius

I looped a short white ribbon
with a half twist
and on that möbius band
I ground a fine grist
and when the subject
was the thinnest dust
Still I was faced with
just what I must
going backwards
just the same ahead
at some point no matter
where I was it came to a head
no way forward
but to break the band
and it will be a long season
till I really understand

what

2.1979 : 10/3/2010 : Epic

I think I hoped it would be epic
think I thought it would be epic
but I sort of planned for boring
fuck what all was I ignoring
and jesus what a topic
being dull dim and myopic
worst part not much different now
waiting still for the ka-pow

what

2.1978 : 10/2/2010 : Stupid Plan

I've got a stupid plan
I've got a stupid little plan
and I'm sure that it won't work
but it'll cover me for tonight
and I'm a stupid man
yeah I'm a stupid little man
and I'm not making progress
but I don't I still deserve to feel all right
first off I've done it all before
secondly it doesn't make any sense
so I'm expecting things to go very differently
this time around
worst of all I still buy into all of it
oh how I'll cringe a decade hence
coming back upon these strange predictions
Oh how it will all look from higher ground

what

2.1977 : 10/1/2010 : Perspective

Is there a perspective on this
where I do not look the fool
probably not I'm pretty sure
I know these tired angles
And was the time spent looking
for just the wrong tool
trying to true the square with triangles
At some point I will look back
and see it as a hideous start
to another long session of deception
I would like to look back
see the time when I got smart
and this little side step as an exception

what

2.1976 : 9/30/2010 : Previews

If you can't show me the
main attractions
could I at least get
some previews
something to sharpen
anticipation
some intimation
of good news
I've been suffering
through these repeats
feeling the story is done
just want a hint of
anything coming
some sign of
coming fun
I know I've got my
attitude turned upside down
don't know how to
right it
I know this feeling
will be back
wish I knew
how to fight it

what

2.1975 : 9/29/2010 : Perfect and Blue

 Could I make it tonight
and even if I make it tonight
it doesn't matter to tomorrow
nothing ever matters
when it's tomorrow
could I figure it out
and make the difference up to you
or will I be
perfect and blue
perfect and blue

what

2.1974 : 9/28/2010 : If Tonight's the Night

I try so hard to imagine
the music swelling that way for me
I've been spoiled by the movies
I've been spoiled by the teevee
God did I really imagine
I would end up one of those
people people know by name
that life that dream those clothes
I don't really think I did
no idea who I was trying to kid
sad to say I think it was just
something to hold on to
wonder if you're telling stories about me
wonder if you're in the clink or floating free
wonder if anyone will
tell me if you die
wonder if tonight's the night
and if I'm that guy
and however hard I try to imagine
the silence presses down like a rock
and I truly don't know where I'm going next
but at this point this is all just talk

what

2.1973 : 9/27/2010 : Joint

Too much the same
up to this point
doubtful about how well
I can drag it round the joint
but I got to I just got to
come high water, come the fire
even if I don't know
at all what to aspire

what

2.1972 : 9/26/2010 : Need Anything

I talked to you a long time
now I can't recall hardly anything I said
same old same old probably
that rattles always around my head
If I could give you something
if you could need anything
I'd trade you for a little hint
you could have a little bird bring

what

2.1971 : 9/25/2010 : Memories

Maybe all you can get or give
are memories
wiped clean in a generation or two
and the lingering detritus
just part of the same stew
not natural not human
not friends or enemies
if I could leave a last message
and I only had a line or two
sorry for the old cliché
maybe if I had another day
but I could only say
oh how I really really love you
If I could influence your memories
I'd give a minute of beauty
try to balance freedom and duty
and how to live as if you'll
live forever
and maybe go today
and hope you would remember

what

2.1970 : 9/24/2010 : So Much Work

Got to quit complaining
that it's all so much work
like so much what else then
life's little file clerk
trying to get it all in boxes
trying to stick the labels on
before the quake comes to unravel
and the order sought is gone
as the temperature dips down
and I choose to set the work aside
and not think of it for a while
and let the current order ride

what

2.1969 : 9/23/2010 : That Didn't Work

Well that didn't work - no note of that
the transition protocol, the fancy new hat
the itty bitty songs at the frustrated last minute
looks like I'm just gonna have to swallow the loss, innit
looks like I have to get back on the long-form kick
and the little by little and trying not to be a dick
praying for patience, praying for peace
praying for the little revelations that bring release
put everything together and try another angle
let the impossible questions dangle
pick four or five solid virtues to pursue
and try so very hard to be good to you
and try so very hard to rise above the slippery slope
try to savor the feeling of not being a dope
believe in what's believable and gloss the rest
let what can't be understood to time's only test
well that didn't work but here I'm still kicking
throwing noodles at the wall to observe what's sticking.

what

2.1968 : 9/22/2010 : Magic Numbers

Magic numbers and
significant dates
five minute reprieves
then eight minute hates
I try to lay it all out
in a tidy row
but what it all could mean
I just don't know

what

2.1967 : 9/21/2010 : Every Manner

Every manner and
this one too
waiting to be rid of
the scrutiny of you
fate seems against me
I sullen wait
for scheming chance to open the gate

what

2.1966 : 9/20/2010 : Science & Religion

I'd like to study
science and religion
but it's hella bigger than me
and I'm probably
dancing on shaky ground
to believe this dream could set me free
I know a few good people
I've got a jones
and that can be a mission
I guess that all I can do
is send a message
hope it's a transmission

what

2.1965 : 9/19/2010 : Nothing Cute

Nothing cute today
no adroit words to say
like it is what it is
no response I fail the quiz
nothing to say about what's coming
or the way that I've been summing
on the dark side of my questions
or how open I am to suggestions
I know tonight I disappoint
no excuse the time is out of joint
no excuse I've just been bad
not enough that I've been sad
I will try tomorrow true
but since it's what I always do
it's hard to guess if it will matter
Still I'll get up on the ladder
try to make it up a little higher
try not to be such a big old sigher
try to cheer up act my age
try to write a better page

what

2.1964 : 9/18/10 : Thunder

A little laugh
and lord I sure need it
however distant the thunder
I still have to heed it
still optimistic
deep down I must be crazy
guess I'll muddle it through somehow
the details are a little hazy

what

2.1963 : 9/17/10 : Responsible

Please take away the fear
of the very possible
that nonetheless is not happening
for all I cannot be responsible
too many paces up and down
far too much for me to count
but not enough I do not know
it adds to a fearsome amount
the bigger picture is too vast
take away the urge to see it
the role of savior is not mine
take away the urge to be it
so little for me to be responsible
make me satisfied with that
and give me peace for all the rest
and enough strength to wear my own hat

what

2.1962 : 9/16/10 : Cusp

Could this be the cusp at hour thirty two
nothing I want to believe is true
show me horror I'll show you fact
show me stupid I'll show you me caught in the act
There is no cusp there is no mountaintop
a meaningless sting then a sickening drop
be that as it may I might as well
overcome and then refuse to tell
erase ten years an offhand shrug
step lightly from the ditch I dug
won't mean a thing won't save a soul
it's so damn easy without any goal
It's so damn easy without highs or lows
a man without regard for what weight he tows
or if the hill goes up or down
or if there's any chance he'll ever leave this town

what

2.1961 : 9/15/10 : Protocol

You'll remember that voice
for a good long time
And the imaginary box
it trapped you in like a mime
and the way that it struck you
motionless like a doll
when you dared to invoke the protocol
Oh how everything seems
so much the same
except that you feel funny
when you say your own name
and the way you get an itch to stare at the wall
and relive the separate place of the protocol
transitions are crazy
nobody likes change
and if you want to turn right back
well that can be arranged
but if you're determined to go on
that's just what you'll do
and you must just trust in the protocol to see you through

what

2.1960 : 9/14/10 : Scarcely

Scarcely succeeded
still I guess that's a day
no doubt choke tomorrow
but it's not then now so okay

I can't get wound up about
scarcely scratching by
so maybe in a year or so I run
and in a thousand I may fly

what

2.1959 : 9/13/10 : An End, and a Beginning

And end, and a beginning
I suspect there will be no end to sinning
no end to slipping, no end to failing
And possibly no end to this
bilge I'm bailing
It's okay to end a day on a cliché
I demure I'm sure sometimes it happens that way
It won't change a thing
but of course that's given
Sometimes I won't feel any hope
Sometimes I won't feel forgiven
taken all together it's a hot mess of words
the massive recreation of the war of the nerds
turned out I wasn't Hamlet
not even Polonius
Damn sure I'm not Miles
Bird or Thelonious
But I can still end things
begin others
stand up and cheer if
you're with me brothers
stand up and fake it like I am winning
until I make it to some
strange beginning

what

2.1958 : 9/12/10 : Signal Decay

Reflection on reflection
translation on translation
there's almost no more signal left
on the signal decay location
Good heavens, ah
Oh my lands
I'm fairly boxed in tight
by all these ampersands
all these asterisks
and treble clefs
I though that I could weigh a man
by the weight of concepts he hefts
but I was proved wrong
by the end of the day
the sad truth demonstrated
in the signal decay

what

2.1957 : 9/11/10 : Book

I just want to finish my book
stay up too late
and blow off everything tomorrow
but I need to be done
with that particular gun
and its particular brand of sorrow
I've got all the information
I need right now
Don't need any more reading
I can't even venture a guess
about tomorrow tonight
and anyway tonight's so fleeting

what

2.1956 : 9/10/10 : Everything Wrong

I'm going to work diligently
to get everything wrong
wrong kind and wrong number
wrong time to write a song
hide knowing it'll get caught out
wrong choice of final rites
I'm just hoping to find a way
to get rid of the parasites
I worked so hard at being right
forgot the question
I don't know how to start the next verse
but I'm open to suggestion
I'm going to try so patiently
to stack it up again
the days behind the fluid now
I felt I had sometimes had when
I believed in a few little dreams
believed in things working
I believed maybe in a happy ending
might be in some odd corner working
I'll worry about tomorrow now
I'll worry about the gong
a-sounding out strange endings
I'm confident that's wrong

what

2.1955 : 9/09/10 : Sell

Sell, sell, sell
get rid of all the cruft
we're all being consumed
by such an excess of stuff
low reserves
shipping like a cloud
insubstantial you can't
afford to pass up
an offer so loud
look at that
think of what you'd pay
if you had bought it new
you can't afford to pass it up today
sell sell sell
I will feel so much lighter
jettisoning all the stuff
I'll succeed
'cause I'm a fighter

what

2.1954 : 9/08/10 : Fast & Empty

It all seems so fast
and so empty
and so many thousand things
that seem to pre-empt me
is this the story that was meant
is anything really meant
and if not why the hell
did all these feelings get sent
Fast they say because
it all started with a bang
empty because there was
hardly ever anything
that's origin myth for you
shit cool story bro
doesn't really give me personally
much to go on though
I stand try to be slow
I sit and try to be full
knowing I'm getting dragged along with all of it
a speck stuck to a speck by gravity's pull

what

2.1953 : 9/07/10 : Urgency

This illusion of urgency
that comes with being human
and all the lists and circumstances
we be exhuming
it's a tale I guess
but it seems pretty stupid
pouring one remedy down
after another
I swear to God
we'll hit the right one brother
and find at last
our perfect cupid
draw back the bow let arrow fly
we won't get provoked to ask why
we'll see that bastard
hit its target
and when we're rich and fat
content with our lot
we won't question a single
minute that we've got
fuck you jack
We know we are set

what

2.1952 : 9/6/10 : Now

I can hear the alarm saying
it ought to be now
and after all these years
I still don't seem to know how
and I can't stop trying
seems it's in my bones
So I carry now around
like a cart full of stones
talking won't do it
nor writing either
maybe grit and gumption
got no stocks of neither
but I better not wait
for another shot across the bow
the sole redeeming feature
is there's nothing but now

what

2.1951 : 9/5/10 : Labor

You said you wanted a marker
I'll call this a labor of love
and admit I hate it sometimes
but admit it fits me like a glove
probably not my goldmine
and my treasure resides elsewhere
I got to give up all these fools gold nights
and find some other way to care
how will I complete my labor
not without pain and grief
and the fear that steals in stealthy
like a tricky scary thief
not without mistakes and crossings out
not without near misses
but I might just make it through
with my strand of three and a hundred kisses

what

2.1950 : 9/4/10 : Not Over

The night's not over
and I haven't beat it yet
maybe you want an answer
it's not what you're going to get
I'm not feeling myself
or else I am far too much
I'd like to wrap it gracefully
sadly it seems I lost my touch

what

2.1949 : 9/3/10 : Just Dumb

See the thing for what it is
a failure to be overcome
another sign you're not there yet
another sign that you're just dumb
don't expect much from tomorrow
don't expect a thing to change
Why would it nothing's different
another chance you just estrange
think about the ones that have left
that is not the boat you're in
expect another good long inning
add another coat of sin
You might get a little smarter
with your nose hard at the wheel
with a lot of grit and focus
dumb might just lose it's appeal

what

2.1948 : 9/2/10 : Repetition

Nothing new to say
I guess it's down to repetition
done believing in the call
done waiting for the mission
easy to see what's to do
and nothing but to do it
sure can't see an end to it
So might as well get to it
these feelings these decisions
and the whole thing will repeat
one day maybe a different way
and wouldn't that be neat
imagined as a wall of shelves
the same box lined up stretching
down the hall and round the corner
at the thought of it I'm retching

what

2.1947 : 9/1/10 : Tedious

So tedious
I can barely keep my bile down
struggle to be original
keep the lid on the style down
the only weapon
that I have when it rolls
over me
is cut it off at the knees
and pretend
it is a parody

what

2.1946 : 8/31/10 : Fastball

After a while
every year
shaves a few miles
per hour off the old
fastball
and mile by mile
it would appear
from the turnstiles
that what's left's a heart of gold
and that's all
smile for the reporter
and act like
you are happy
with the past
its glories
turn off that recorder
put down the mic
got no snappy
words to cast
just stories

what

2.1945 : 8/30/10 : Stop Pushing

Stop pushing, stop pushing
do you think that this is helping
or do you just get nervous
at the sound of anguished yelping
there's enough on my thin shoulders
though I ordered up a light yoke
but perhaps that isn't seemly
I am after all of privileged folk
Stop pushing! Stop pushing!
get your hands off me
you aren't anyone to
try to step and scoff me
Stop pushing! stop pushing...
a city song for certain
but you'll find a country boy up here
if you look behind the curtain

what

2.1944 : 8/29/10 : Sunday's Child

Sunday's child is tired
of all the crying behind the door
Sunday's child is feeling
like he's been down this road before
But Monday's child could tell him
there's no new thing 'neath the sun
And everything that's happened to him
happened to someone before
turn again to Sunday's child
Maybe he's got it this time
the eternal truth that never fades
and wrapped up in sweet rhyme
my revelation sir is that
the truth is not a monolith
and so declines to through behind
the epoch's leading myth

what

2.1943 : 8/28/10 : Forgive the Moon

Forgive the moon for not
shining bright enough
Forgive the universe
for not being made of softer stuff
Forgive you Lord for not
telling me just what to do
and forgive me especially
for forgetting you
I wrote this here
I am the author and the scribe
bowing over in secret
imagining your every jibe
I'll claim persistence
for today anyway my plume
something stored away
another decade may exhume
so forgive the moon
For being so far and so cold
forgive these tired bones
that carry me from growing old
forgive entropy
for being more persistent than me
another decade
begging for a perfect symphony

what

2.1942 : 8/27/10 : To Love You Always

It did not take a diamond ring
a promise, a hilltop, or anything
for me to know that I was
to love you always
The moment you were in my arms
as if queen fate had cast her charms
about us and to
follow us through all days
this is not a book a poem
a little players' scene
a shadow play revealed
by a lantern behind a screen
this is real life and nonetheless
each day one thing I need not guess
I will for you and you for me
a love supreme, surprising, free
a knowing that I am to love you always

what

2.1941 : 8/26/10 : The Kiss Off

If I never see you all again
it'll be too soon
this is the kiss off
let me show you the tune
you're just a pack of dumb trouble
and your welcome's stale
time to throw you out
like yesterday's mail
I used to stay up real late
thinking real heavy thoughts
sure wish I could have that time back
pin that ah hah with a thumbtack
playing sad sad music
and smoking lots
thought those cigarettes looked too cool
now I look straight back at a stone fool
once I surfed the channels
now I surf the net
you can waste your time so many ways
look back you wasted a thousand days
and when I kick it in the head
I won't miss nothing I bet
you'd get just as much from a blank screen
think I've known that since I was sixteen
If I never see you all again
it'll be too soon
this is the kiss off
let me show you the tune
You're just a pack of dumb trouble
and your welcome's stale
time to throw you out
like yesterday's mail

what

2.1940 : 8/25/10 : Safety

Just for safety
I'm going to go over the world
with a fine tooth comb
make sure I didn't miss
a whisper of your call
maybe a faint sad refrain on an old trombone
been pretty good at the safe and sorry
I guess I need a strategy
called not doing crazy stupid things again
thinking
this time it will turn out
differently for me

what

2.1939 : 8/24/10 : That Day

That day isn't going to come
is it you big none
This day is it
over and again
opportunities grown dim
If this is it
I'm not cool with that
I've got no tricks
under my hat
put it away
for another day
nothing left to say
and my beast barely at bay

what

2.1938 : 8/23/10 : Great and Small

Great and small
well, maybe not the smallest
walking tall
but you'll never be the tallest
so if I go
just to check the sell-out line
don't make a fuss anyway
nobody's buying what's mine
Who am I fooling
well surely not yours truly
maybe I'm just pining
for a little fooly cooly
but though I feel like I've been getting
crowded right up to the wall
I'll still stand and say my piece
for the great and the small

what

2.1937 : 8/22/10 : Guests

Little guests I do not like you
so you have got to go
some said to take a natural route
but I said no no no
better living through chemistry
I'll give you a taste of that
a nasty dose of chemistry
little guests you're up to bat
I guess it's been that kind of year
one damn thing after another
I'm hoping for a better one
no guests, nor any other
crazy circumstances or deviltry
come one please a little peace
normal boring sounds real great
and smash the little guests' lease

what

2.1936 : 8/21/10 : Thirsty

So thirsty
so very late
certain that the problem
will not dissipate
but in a day or three
might get a little relief
pray till then the master
does not steal in like a thief

what

2.1935 : 8/20/10 : the Hero

The hero awakes before the alarm
so gung ho for the the working
the hero jumps right out of bed
not a shadow of doubt is lurking
so efficient, so damn focused
it's like he's living every day twice
so informed, so very certain
he doesn't need a speck of advice
used to imagine I would be that
used to be sure I was one
all the little things that make a little life
I can't even get that done
The hero stays up all night
because his light burns bright not dim
I guess I'm still attached to going my own way
and really I am glad I'm not him

what

2.1934 : 8/19/10 : Dismay

Why waste your time on dismay?
But the questions persist
and the questions insist
and it's been a long stretch
I haven't felt any closer day by day
The dismay tells me
I'm doing it wrong
and though I trace it in song
there is some strong way
that I simply am not free
the anger that flashes
the depression that sinks
is a man what he thinks
or just the transient spiral
as he stirs up the ashes
I listen to the song my gut sings
troubled and roiling
avoiding or toiling
and nothing but tomorrow
the joy, the dismay
that it brings

what

2.1933 : 8/18/10 : Exhausted

I fear I have exhausted
this particular well
I know it's not exactly true
today it's the tale I've got to tell
something's got to change
there's got to be a better way
and this is not leading to that
and I'm exhausted, anyway

what

2.1932 : 8/17/10 : Ants

Like ants that work all through the night
labor to consume a poison bite
but I can no more burn that oil
another hour I cease my toil
A metaphor to make your skin crawl
become an ant to have it all
but nothing in that state possess
except to give the all-one its yes
fear we are not built for it
running on greed and guilt and shit
like that the dimwit metaphysics
run like wired up paralytics
just a daydream that I had
a different way though it seems sad
we can't reclaim our roles as giants
guess we'll leave it all to the ants

what

2.1931 : 8/16/10 : The Continuity

Is there anything left driving this
besides the continuity
am I still letting dumbass
optimistic daydreams screw with me
I don't see myself
debuting this one on the stage
I don't see much I'm
optimistic about in this new age
Up from the oh's and on
into the tweens and teens
I fear a nasty adolescence
is imprinted in this century's genes
maybe the symbol that I
cling to like a holy grail
if I prop up my sad continuity
maybe the system will not fail

what

2.1930 : 8/15/10 : Butterfly Wing

If I could travel in time
it's tempting in a way
What I could find to fix
but that's the old cliché
In almost any day
the butterfly wing
If I can't keep it all
I guess I wouldn't change anything

what

2.1929 : 8/14/10 : This is Why

This is why persist:
because to persist is human
feel it in you blood and humors
bile and albumen
there is an ending
and it brooks no dispute
what is there in the face of it
except to be resolute
this is why we ask
because the questions haunt us
so we must be restless, eager
in the face of fears that daunt us
if you are reading, writing
that end hasn't happened yet
so you must persist in this
because there is no other outlet
another day
another try at starting
persistent but with no illusions
this is wisdom I'm imparting

what

2.1928 : 8/13/10 : Thirteen

Do I believe n the song of the day?
And here it took me thirteen years to say
Yes I believe but I
don't know what it means
is it a choice I made or
something buried in my genes
God hit it over the head
with a shovel
drove it to the middle of a field
in the middle of the night
and buried it desperately
feverishly in the glare
of the headlights
and who died and made me the cops
the detective supposed to
follow the elusive trail
track it down
air it out
and dress it up like a holy grail
Who am I to
believe in anything
a nobody but still
butter fed and soft
but I have to believe in myself
nothing else is going to
keep this strange balloon aloft

what

2.1927 : 8/12/10 : Dikes

Dikes are failing
right and left
and I don't know what's next
lately I don't
have the energy
to even get perplexed
And I don't have
the wherewithal
to try and plug a hole
I'm just trying to
locate the smoke
to track down my burning coal

what

2.1926 : 8/11/10 : Stone

If I can't let my grip up
on the obdurate stone
I've got a real bad feeling I am
going to hit that wall alone
I haven't got a ritual no more
I'm in free fall
and though it's self-fulfilling
I keep thinking of that wall
seems a whole big lot of people
see it going bad to worse
seems we're all feeling that feeling
getting passed by by the hearse
and the duty that is calling
feels like running to stand still
as I watch my restless scramble
trying to gather up my will

what

2.1925 : 8/10/10 : Painkillers

Waiting for the painkillers
to kick in
waiting for the smooth ride
to begin
Good to take the edge off
it's okay
I've been good and it's been
a hard day
try to puzzle out the
riddle of pain
Does it prove god's a
delusion in my brain
is it just part of
a complete life
should I get a little more
at the tip of a knife
Well tonight I needn't
be so bold
if these old painkillers
just take hold
rock me to a deep and
silent sleep
pray to the God of pain
my whole to keep

what

2.1924 : 8/9/10 : Secret Worlds

These secret worlds that swallow me
aren't even cool
plagued by petty phantoms
the kingdom of a fool
lead to petty vices
lead to wasted hours
running from the obvious
stopping to smell the plastic flowers

Looking for a breaking point
looking for a breaking peak
that shatters every secret world
and frees my frozen tongue to speak
the answer could be anything
but nothing seems to stick
could it be that after ten long years
I'm still not sick of being sick

what

2.1923 : 8/8/10 : Mr. Genius

Mr. Genius
what a slick idea
do the same thing as before
act as if this time it'll free ya
put aside the work now
put aside regret
whatever it comes down to
it's the best you're going to get
and always there's another
until someday there is none
it goes against the principle
shall I hope this is not the one

what

2.1922 : 8/7/10 : Sad Discovery

Sad discovery
sadder still it's no surprise
days have little failures
that meet newly opened eyes
days have bigger failures
Unseen and coming down
appear and seem predictable
and here's the little frown
don't worry about tomorrow
you'd say that is the theme
can I get away with it tonight
and hope for nothing in a dream

what

2.1921 : 8/6/10 : Disconnect

Trying to repair
the disconnect
between thought and expression
if you'll allow the paid respect
feeling disconnected
want to plug back in
hope the worries and cares
don't haul another stack in
hard to change gears
especially in these days
all the adversity
smears into one haze
but time will not stop
and free moments are few
think I'll take my chance at rest
and then wait for you

what

2.1920 : 8/5/10 : Nice Work (If You Can Get It)

A joker and an artist
got an apartment in the sticks
played games and scribbled comics
I guess it beats throwing bricks
Now they've got a little empire
courtly soirées and a teevee show
making the circuit and doing good works
and still it just seems to grow
nice work if you can get it
nice story wish it were mine
nice work if you can get it
yeah I think it would suit me fine

what

put on your flaming hat

The inaccurately named "Enough" finds us at the end of Songs of Days volume 2.11, Black n' Red. Forthwith we march on to volume 2.12, Nice Work.

what

2.1919 : 8/4/10 : Enough

Enough and there will
be no ceremony
I want a million dollars
I want a fucking pony
I want my youth back
I want my health
and mastery and power
and time and wealth
enough there are you
done whining now
you look so stupid there
you stupid pining cow
enough of loving sloth
enough of crazy shouting
put on your flaming hat
let's off for a special outing
please just ignore it all
it's just me acting tough
and trying to get at least one thing right
I guess that has to be enough

what

2.1918 : 8/3/10 : As for What I Am

And as for what I am
what shall I say and
what am I to tell
Some days it seems you've
woken from a long and
dreamless magic spell
to look around
bewildered wondering
just how it came to be
yet all the history is
there and you are there
as well and me
yes what of me
I haven't said much
thinking of the likes of great men
wondering if there's any
future like that
at all waiting for my pen

what

2.1917 : 8/2/10 : How Early

How early might the rise be
how late the night
if I made a little chart today
I might start getting it right
Hard not to imagine
every terrible road
and that since nothing can stay still
something is bound to explode
I know there's gotta be a better way
but I don't know what it looks likes
When I feel like I'm on the downhill
when I feel like I'm on the third strike
I saw the looks of sad contempt
well they don't understand
we just can't ever do things halfway
here in the good old promised land

what

2.1916 : 8/1/10 : Knock Out

Knock another sucker challenger
out with one punch
hope it bored you to the core
and now I'm going to eat your lunch
I don't care about nothing
but the counter's click
running up my numbers
I'm that kind of sick
Did you stumble to your feet
for another round?
almost feel bad knocking you
over with the big sound
I'll see you swept right up
with yesterday's trash
while I'm shining up my knuckles
Cause my shit's so cash

what

2.1915 : 7/31/10 : Cheated

If you think you feel cheated
hey think about me
and if it gets repeated
well I guess it just will be

what

2.1914 : 7/30/10 : Or Get the Fuck Out

Answer now
answer now
or get the fuck out
will you deliver
or get the fuck out
You got got your gospel plow
Oh get the fuck out
but can you cross the river
bro get the fuck out
will you show me your reasons
get the fuck out
why it's all such a chore
hey get the fuck out
at the mercy of seasons
that get the fuck out
and swing like a great door
while I get the fuck out

what

2.1913 : 7/29/10 : Month

Barely aware as the
moon swells and shrinks
barely believe
a man's not what he thinks
but the thinking just so
has got something to do with it
whether he founders
or follows right through with it
thirty days
thirty one
not very scientific, son
some anniversary
that doesn't mean a thing
gone to weeds
all the ground
I try to hear the surf pound
two thousand miles away
to the month's mistress they sing

what

2.1912 : 7/28/10 : Backed Up Against

Backed up against
the ever present fence
doubting my capacity
and surely my sagacity
poor lolling vacant mind
pretend the tide is turning
and those days are already behind

what

2.1911 : 7/27/10 : Revision

Revision and remission and
the fusion of the vision
that could make the disparate parts
all sing out with the same commission
And where I once craved total peace
I've gone for plainer fare
And if you would see the land Revision
It happens I can take you there
Injunction and induction and
the restless forms of function
and the nights I lost unwinding
in the old absurd reduction
you can't pick it apart
though you might pick any point
the unraveling all ravels up again
articulate, all moving joints

what

2.1910 : 7/26/10 : Mr. Stupid

Mr. Stupid wants to be optimistic
but he's working with real bad material
Mr. Stupid gets worried by the smallest stuff
but the problems are a scale imperial
Mr. Stupid is glad that the missus
decided to keep her maiden name
because she doesn't deserve the title
because she doesn't play that stupid game
Mr. Stupid knows perfectly well
that this stupid night is a stupid dodge
a putting off of something inevitable
having to deal with the stupid messy hodgepodge
Maybe on some day not too distant
he'll get to once again feel like Mr. Smart
he can't quite give up though it's tempting
he has to pretend this is a stupid start

what

2.1909 : 7/25/10 : Prism

Refracted through the prism
I captured what I could
I lived the vital moment
I did what what I thought I should
It hurts to know it's partial
we only capture some
but I do it fully conscious
and am not deaf or dumb

what

2.1908 : 7/24/10 : Capture

I have to capture
the moment that occurs
and if it is messy
and hard to record
that is just the real
and in this moment
I truly feel
if you have to interpret
it is not so bad
the moment occurred
and I was glad

what

2.1907 : 7/23/10 : Unfair

Unfair I say and I refuse
to be ruled over and
run around by arbitrary rules
and cruel imaginings
and stupid phantom thoughts
Move along these are not
the paranoids you sought
I need a better system
but for now I'll just cheat
at a contest no one cares about
where there's nobody else to beat
and I suppose if I'm the only one
who cares about this grind of mine
it's all the more a reason
that I have to walk that line

what

2.1906 : 7/22/10 : Stellar

No thank you I refuse to sing that
no matter how true it is
or how much sense it makes
Let me tell you a lie about joy
and adventure around the corner
and a wild bet paying crazy stakes
Let me tell you a lie about change
it took exactly one day and
it stayed that way forever
there were no backslides and
there were no concessions
and it was just as easy as pulling a lever
feeling great and every day getting better
started out stratospheric
now you'd have to call it stellar
Yeah I'll sing that it couldn't hurt
any worse than another session in the cellar

what

2.1905 : 7/21/10 : Trains

The warm sound of trains
Northeast side
I can dream all I want to
but I'll never take that ride
And I can't say I feel bad
I've got obligations
that firmly preclude
riding the crazy stations
what are dreams worth
are they worth a nickel?
I don't even want to try
to cut that pickle
still something has to change
well something always does
and it pans out in its own way
just like it always does

what

2.1904 : 7/20/10 : Sufficient

What is sufficient?
I really need to know
So that I can prosper
So that I can grow
I guess things have been moving
but my God it's slow
will I figure out a damn thing
before I go
truly what's sufficient?
I must figure it out
why I'm still around here
what that fact's about
I'm trying to stay positive
trying not to pout
I fear the army's massing
and it's going to be a rout

what

2.1903 : 7/19/10 : Crash Come

If we all gave up
how much faster would the crash come
what if i just gave up
fixed my eyes on the cash and grabbed some.
maybe I'm just afraid
what if I sold out but no one was buying
back to being good but it doesn't matter
Christ what is the point of
Whatever you might think
the crash is not a delusion
though what it means nobody's sure
and its way is made straight by your confusion
if it feels inevitable
why do I have to toil toil in futile resistance
is it the off chance or some  principle?
I've still got no measure of the point
of persistence

what

2.1902 : 7/18/10 : Every Night

Find there's how it goes
the same way every night
there's how you get the
feeling nothing's going right
and if you think you'll find
the answer in a minute's work
in a few random scribbles
wait until you feel that jerk
the strand that snaps you
back into reality
And now you see it: the same old night
and every night you see
a little vision but it's
just not quite enough to deliver
that one swift kick
and so you settle for your sliver

what

2.1901 : 7/17/10 : Spirit Brother

I wonder if you saw me brother
my little shout hello
I wonder what your weather's like
could be rain or snow
sometimes it's nice not to
choose not to know so much
just that another brother's on the road
fill the world with songs, your special touch
I imagine my presence might offend you
I've been there if I might be so bold
I hope it's just my dumb mind again
hope you're better than me, not so cold
I sing a song for my spirit brother
really we are on the same side
maybe someday we will share a glass
raise a toast to the long strange ride

what

2.1900 : 7/16/10 : What if Nothing Happens

What if nothing happens for a reason
what you did before was simply wrong
or you were born unlucky out of season
born to false turns, singing the wrong song
If there's no plan, is that freeing
no more preconceptions, right
no fate to be chasing or fleeing
nothing but me in the long night
I keep looking for the middle
cliché land between my brain and heart
such a dullard's pain, yeah life's a riddle
and I mostly stall before I start
Maybe nothing's really worse or better
Always just been same old ebb and swell
Maybe I could knock off one last fetter
And hey presto all is well

what

2.1899 : 7/15/10 : Shame

It seems a shame, to be
stuck in this foolish loop
feeling hard pressed to help it
feeling mired in the soup
the little things are piling
and I it seems unequal
don't think that I can afford
to wait out for the sequel
I don't have a plot to pick up
I'm right down to scratch
I've felt cornered many times
but still this is one rough patch
but it isn't going to help me
to settle down at shame
I guess I have to try to believe
stand at least behind my name

what

2.1898 : 7/14/10 : It Still Sickens You

It still sickens you to see
each way we've failed
in the land of the free
what the news doesn't say
is almost as bad as what it does
and maybe worse some days
your prognostications were mainly true
You usually got things right
but you sure didn't hint what would happen to you
I guess it's likely you didn't know
there was always a lot of smoke with you
and you'd hinted you might up and go
I sort of hope you're someplace far
reinvented, sharp again
the better aspect, acerbic and bizarre

what

2.1897 : 7/13/10 : These Nights

These nights
have got a lot to answer for
but I can't get into it now
Failed on most points
Made it on a couple
not much excuse
for taking a last bow
better than nothing
just doesn't cut it
out there on the floor
I guess I'll be back
pray a little better
but I don't expect much anymore

what

2.1896 : 7/12/10 : All Night

Up all night
only to fail of the morning
look upon the sad
story as a warning
this shaky platform
can go up or down
for the best of everyone
I think I should conceal this frown

what

2.1895 : 7/11/10 : This Is It

How do I feel if this is it?
That is the question I chew in the pit
Is it this that makes me suffer
Full exposure, no kind of buffer
Is this it? the moment eternal
pulsing through an act of the theater internal
It is this that I'm forever returning
to see all that it it it forever churning

what

2.1894 : 7/10/10 : The Nothingth

What feels like the first
is really the nothingth
because I violated
time or something
far less interesting
than it sounds
and even tough I don't get to count t
consequence abounds
I had a terrible dream
that it was genetic
and the way I tried to
dodge the blame was just pathetic
and all I want to do
as a result today is nothing
If could just lie face down
on the floor it would be the thing

what

2.1893 : 7/9/10 : Good Story

Could I still tell
a good story
for myself
nobody else will
I suspect
but how I doubt
that could be
reality
and what I expect
is another and another
and oh God those
same old same old songs
and is it just
lack of acceptance
The misery
the fool prolongs

what

2.1892 : 7/8/10 : Bad Path

Hear feet slipping on a
bad path, going down
already blew a bunch of things
bad thoughts go to town
maybe halfway through
at best
and feeling nowhere nowhere
I see the escalator down
and I don't want to
go there
has it been this
dark before
and does it matter
anymore
I wish someone would
lead me from
this bad path

what

2.1891 : 7/7/10 : The Screw

The screw turns deeper than expected
revealing what was long suspected
The error is a broken heart
or some more esoteric broken part
the error is bad analogy
the screw was in the way I couldn't see
Which seems now rather fatal to the test
and hard to protest that I did my best
and if i saw that plan again I'd burn it
but when I see that X i have to turn it
I'm not sure what it is breaking into now
but I have to learn to live with
the screw somehow

what

2.1890 : 7/6/10 : Drowning

The dream is of drowning
and who am I fooling
deep down in my innards
ambition is pooling
and turning to something
tar black and disgusting
and all that I'm hating
and all I'm distrusting
just put that away
because it's not the night
to cease upon midnight
and fight that good fight
say maybe tomorrow
just like everyone
but then sometimes it is
by the sword, by the gun

what

2.1889 : 7/5/10 : Smokescreen

Deployment of the smokescreen
and similar techniques
Sometimes the moment merely passes
and sometimes it speaks
I'm going to try to get on track
and hope my good luck peaks
and maybe someday far ahead
I'll tell the tale to all my freaks

what

2.1888 : 7/4/10 : Fault

Ten years fly
nothing much changes
oh what a lie
all of reality rearranges
but there's still a fault
and it isn't just appearances
I'm not the sole one drowned in red ink
or banking on too many chances
Everyone believes in the fault
but never really thinks the quake will come
isn't it our way so predictable
so thoughtless and so dumb
out of words out of ideas
out of justifications
for persisting absent evidence
it's anything more than prostrations
before the dumb altar of a dead deity
something more I once thought I had
I guess I knew it was no easy ride
I really didn't think it would get this bad

what

2.1887 : 7/3/10 : The Long Goodbye

I'm not ready to let go
but there's no time for speaking
And I guess I better leave
before your poor eyes get to leaking
sometimes there's not a word to say
And yet you stare as the moments fly by
oh how you beg for just one more
day to drag out the long goodbye
sorry something's got my tongue
oh baby something's in my eye
and we both look like a mess
Well it sounds like the long goodbye
In the morning when you wake
something dragged you through grit and sand
Imagine I can barely smell
the dying perfume on my hand
think of arguments ten years old
a fight fought so long past
If I'd known then it wouldn't be settled yet
dear me I'd be aghast

what

2.1886 : 7/2/10 : Patchwork Revelation

It turns out there are five elephants
and every one is blind
And sister you will not believe
The mess that riddle leaves behind
it turns out we're all chained outside
and all the good shit's in the cave
You can stitch a patchwork revelation up
if you've got years and years to slave
what to call one who never succeeds
and still refuses to stop
is it worth it staying up
waiting for the cosmic shoe to drop
if you've got enough pieces
if you're really desperate
you'll end up with some crazy quilt
lurid and intemperate

what

2.1885 : 7/1/10 : Ultra Worm

Ultra worm the great purge
the twisting screw begets an urge
Pray to heaven for good news
'Cause lately I feel like the Devil stole my shoes
Oh great worm towering a mile
will you reset the clock, make me smile?
One more straw could bury me
What the hell Lord please stop scaring me
the small pain supplants the greater
something from long ago left a crater
a hole through the center of the doughnut
I'll be someplace else tomorrow this time no but
While I wait for the medicine to come to term
what can I do but offer thanks to the ultra worm
And get by like I always do
never quite what I imagine but I've still got you
what