2.2076 : 01/08/11 : Annoyance

This annoyance
will fade
and come back
in spades
what of it
the other
is no great
shakes brother

what

2.2075 : 01/07/11 : Crisis

I suppose that is the crisis
Undramatic, boringly familiar
in the same form at the same time
You know all the moves so well and still you're
fighting to stay crazy
run the cycle one more time
like some old song about gambling
same meter and same rhyme
didn't have the strength to muster
an escape from development hell
so it came out in the crisis
looking half baked but oh well

what

2.2074 : 01/06/11 : That's Impossible

That's impossible
no one can do that
I've got to give it to you
tip of the hat
I couldn't get the quality
or make it up on volume
also I spent a little too much
time still in a dark room
I did the impossible once
I recall distinctly
but there''s such a ladder left
and so little beneath me
these days it feels impossible
to shift this solipsistic course
but look I'll rise up to the challenge
soon I'll beat a different dead horse

what

2.2073 : 01/05/11 : Please Stop These Dreams

Could you please stop these dreams
about hope and aspiration
make me think make me pine
at the end of the vacation
I don't want to be reminded
I don't want to be distracted
we are trying to sell out here
be all hesitance redacted
I am trying to give up here
I am trying to let go
of a dream about a purpose
of a feeling I don't really know
feel I've only heard about it
felt an inkling for a second
never could sustain the moment
and the downside always beckoned
So if it is all the same to you
can't see how it could be otherwise
I'll throw that dream away
banish its image from my eyes

what

2.2072 : 01/04/11 : Strategy

For a change I'll pray for strategy
for a change I'll pray for guile
The serpent was the subtlest beast
but I'll give him a run for a mile
So what if it is confidence tricks
what if I'm a croook
I'm sick and tired fed up to here
with going by the book
try and show me sacrifice
means anything a all
they're laughing like they always have
while we crash into the same wall
So I'll not turn another cheek
My strategy from now on
to beat the bastards at their own game
while you all get your kowtow on

what

2.2071 : 01/03/11 : Get Off

Can't seem to get off
this track this track
these days it doesn't even seem to
make sense to want to get back
was nothing there but what's ahead
I thought there was a plan brewing
and now instead
I'm just trying to get off
this loop this rut
trying to get off something
I don't even know what

what

2.2070 : 01/02/11 : Force of Nature

In the interest
of a quiet and simple life
I try to hew to a proscribed nomenclature
father, cleaner, workerbee
I can't help that I'm a
God damned force of nature
I can't help blowing weather
on every front
I can't help scaring
every bellwether
making them punt
sorry about the damage
the roofs blown off
I had a touch of genius
and I had to cough

what

2.2069 : 01/01/11 : Tears

Tears of recognition or tears of pain
sad and disappointed to be here again
feeling the predictable
in the bed I made
should have done some other
and the price I paid
was to have it come out like this
my sickness and my fears
another day on to my surprise
here come the tears

what

2.2068 : 12/31/10 : Stops

Feel it it is now
pull out every stop
don't think don't talk
the ball is gonna drop
you don't have to think
you don't have to talk
just do the do
just walk the walk
they're not gonna to autotune
they're not going to play the harp
we are going to walk the walk
we're going to warn
whatever with your porn
whatever with your music shit
this is fine the moment here
this is here and this is it
I am fine the moment is coming
nail it down and call it fine
we will make the best of it
call it done and
call it mine

what

2.2067 : 12/30/10 : Recover

How do I recover from
the sucker punch
the feeling of breaking free
however unwise
could I feel it if I didn't act it
always as the last time
the grand prize
after this and after that
I'm always surviving
some ordeal
and just want a little help
a little help to
recover how I did feel
put recovery on the back burner
I listen to the beast tonight
know it means it's all in chaos
whatever it will be all right

what

2.2066 : 12/29/10 : Empire

This won't hurt
no try you something new
tell me the truth babe
can you feel my Empire
calling you?
Alexander, Charlemange
the Turks
this time we've got
a formula that always works
it takes some faith
a taste for what is true
close your eyes and feel
my Empire is inside of you

what

2.2065 : 12/28/10 : Clue

Nineteen or twenty-two
and less of a clue; fuck
less of a clue
how many disparate
contradictory
maybe if I'd buckled down
earned the valedictory
maybe if I'd took a shot
the scholarship
that storied English spot
Maybe if I'd made a note
outside that door instead my rote
recital of the limitations
there's a clue that cost me nations
maybe if I'd hit the road
a few good friends, no aim or abode
the moments seem far fewer now
should I call them opportunity
maybe in that is a clue
the reality of true community
Sure I get it
responsible man
but I'm lacking one clue
So tell me if you can
I've still got eight by five to kill
so tell me where the clue
for that is if you will

what

2.2064 : 12/27/10 : Comfort

Is it a comfort or a suffering
to think that there is nothing to be done?
that in the end it is all more or less a machine
and truly no on is the one
touched or meant or evolved or destined
to set it right oh cursed spite
It means I'm off the hook at least
but seems to dim the all but failing light

what

2.2063 : 12/26/10 : Thinking Ahead

Thinking ahead
not knowing what for
having put someone else
in charge of the door
is that sure disappointment
or ease supreme
someone else has always been
in charge of the dream
take what comes to me
say not a dire sound
the forbears of this day
are deep in the ground
I'll wait for the moment
the sign of what's what
no matter what comes
will be the deepest cut

what

2.2062 : 12/25/10 : The Teacher

The student is ready
well sick of the sickness
this sheaf of songs not just
defined by its thickness
I've been seeking out there
shone light under turned stones
I follow a tune
I found scribed in my bones
it's ready ready and so now
the teacher will appear
his plane touching down now
his footsteps lead here

what

2.2061 : 12/24/10 : Enough

To have not served enough
dealt too much off the cuff
don't care to look too close
find out I'm one of those
put hours in money too
tempted to cross with you
to say it's not enough
but then it's not your bluff
and how you set it up
me and my half full cup
reminded by my own
nothing that's not on loan
it goes too deep for me
the hill too steep for me
enough I say I'll try
somehow and by and by

what

2.2060 : 12/23/10 : Will It Change?

Will it change?
Will that feeling go away
or just seem like so, hey
and if I'm still discontent
if I'm still a'gloom
what will I do with
the change in this room?
will it change if I
start reading the book
will it change if I'm
upright and will not look
will it change when
someone sees and responds
or will nothing change
out in the great beyonds

what

2.2059 : 12/22/10 : A Price

Too many things
You can't put any price on
but somebody wants more money every day
there will always be those
willing to sticker anything
and sell it all back to you any day
I'd give a little bit
this very moment
for an extra couple hours today
the one thing you can't buy
at any price no matter how high
yet we all get more and more given away

what

2.2058 : 12/21/10 : River (Prelude)

A hundred thousand things that
seem like good ideas at the time
All form a river flowing
carrying a tiny little chime
just a vague approximation
something I heard briefly in my head
I didn't carry it out
decided to give the river prelude instead
and will get on to it
get out of this narrative of smack
I wouldn't promise anything
but yes I'll probably be back

what

2.2057 : 12/20/10 : Start

Pretty soon I'm going to start again
courageous fellow with a heart of tin
So much left undone no one's infinite
Wait just a minute and we're into it

what

2.2056 : 12/19/10 : Eggs

Let's put all our eggs in one basket
and ride that bitch to hell
kill the whales and all the coral
when the kids ask just don't tell
So fed up with human nature
worthless monkey drones
the best post up the latest outrage
the rest sleep with their telephones
let's get all our eggs together
count them all before they're hatched
leave the kids to wonder after
how their future got cold snatched

what

2.2055 : 12/18/10 : Benefits of Science

I am not neglecting
the benefits of science
but I have a feeling I may need
a little measure of defiance
to face down a little fear
get some trust back up in here
Some things transcend
And I know if I push pas every knowing
into what cannot be known
a certain skeleton will be showing
peeking from the closet, gee
of natural philosophy
eager to make amends

what

2.2054 : 12/17/10 : Juice

The one about the regret from the heart
the one about the failure of the juice
the one about the once that got the ace
the one where you wound up holding the deuce
I wish that I the one about the uh
the uh I wish that I could just, the the
there's no excuse for any of it but
something said way and I said what
the juice just where does it come from
with everybody scrapping in the scrum
who comes on top and who knows why
and why I never am that guy

what

2.2053 : 12/16/10 : Never Happen

Whispers and glimmers
some things never happen
and if you think you want to
take the ride you better strap in
Because I have a real bad feeling
Well confess I just can't say
if it means a lot because
I've felt the same for many a day
And I'm here for all wrong reasons
far too many things like that
either mapping out wrong paths
starting things that fall down flat
still praying for the turnaround
but some things never happen so
I better make something happen
I better go

what

2.2052 : 12/15/10 : Unmade Bed

Never good enough fights
with don't give up
wish I could ignore it all
sit back, just tip the cup
why oh why why oh why
what went through my head?
to end up lying in another
unmade bed
Do the others feel more?
is it some spoke in their brain?
Should I be a bigger bastard?
Should I cultivate more pain?
It's all about itself
and there's no balance here
but the end to that dilemma's
not in sight I fear
I've only got one card left
to throw in this night's hole
I better fold up now
and leave the thing unpicked and whole

what

2.2051 : 12/14/10 : Cast

Cast and cast again
nothing is biting on this hook
that loaded with anxiety
just like I read of in a book
just like a guy like me
to make it all about just how I feel
you need a book to be okay
oh surely I see the appeal
Cast them on you then what oh Lord
nothing changes I can see
maybe just not humble enough
maybe I should wait and see
maybe I should take a dose
before my brain gets cast in lead
too late maybe so, so sue me
For just trying to get ahead

what

2.2050 : 12/13/10 : Mile

I'm not prepared
to go the extra mile
I'm not prepared to serve
you with a smile
I'm not prepared to
let go my hold
on these worries and cares
as I'm getting old
is how I feel
but it is not so smart
I'd like to go
but don't know where to start
or maybe how to learn
I'm really in the middle
of a boredom in a vacancy
inside a banal riddle

what

2.2049 : 12/12/10 : Sister S

Hey sister S
On your island
with your harp
and halfway smiling
look doesn't mean anything
not for me
some deem me blind
but I can see
and it doesn't matter
neither here nor there
since I've no stomach left
for the old dog's hair
So I just have to suffer
the aftermath
better mind your own investments
we're all due to take a path

what

2.2048 : 12/11/10 : Worse

If you're not getting better but worse
it must be a curse on you
Do anything that you want to
It won't matter till you lift the spell
nothing matters anyway so just as well
trying to reclaim some better aspect
had it five years ago
or maybe I just can't tell what's good so
anyway so anyway anyway
it's enough to cal a spade a spade night the day
it's enough to call out a last verse
Submit to another day caught in curse

what

2.2047 : 12/10/10 : Bad Sector

I've read this book before
been on this bad hook before
there's a bad sector on the medium somewhere
but the scans aren't finding it
they say familiarity breed contempt
and I'm long past thinking I'm exempt
and as things stand I don't mind
admitting yes I'm minding it
scan or no I know eventually
the damn thing's going to fail on me
spit up a hunk of work
I will not be able to recover
and I'll cook it up from scratch again
give me a hundred days I'll do the work of ten men
maybe lock it in this time
drag a golden data nugget out of the slime
I'm surely no fighter but
these days I haven't been much of a lover

what

2.2046 : 12/09/10 : Beating

My bearing and the beating
the fire and what it's feeding
someone else's problems
On the mighty box
my panting and my grimace
you couldn't call it a premise
feel crazy like something
and it's surely not a fox
put the past behind me
said before words always blind me
I guess it could be worse
these jackals on the screen
all mining life for drama
though mine now might seem a comma
and if I think about it much more
I'll get mean

what

2.2045 : 12/8/10 : Spare

Can only spare a line or two
the faster to return to you
A slim chance to hew to the track
and make amends for looking back

what

2.2044 : 12/7/10 : Vampire High

Dreaming of dreaming
and it gives me a bad feeling
like a vampire in a high tower
about to be caught in a sun shower
I don't have the chops I don't know the tropes
I'm doomed to slump around down here with you dopes
cursing my cursing
cracked dry lips I'm pursing
try to whistle a tune jaunty
but the crowd demands the full monty
I dreamed of writing something but I woke with nothing in my head
and found I'd heard the wrong alarm and roused too early from my bed

what

2.2043 : 12/6/10 : Contrivance

If not another paean
to misstep, to regret
if not some forced contrivance
calculated not to let
a shred of truth to ghost past
this hard shut door
if not a holy relic
what on earth can it be for?

what

2.2042 : 12/5/10 : Smells Like Victory

He said it smells like victory
but I won't have a bit of it
the beast wants me to believe
but I am past all of that shit
remembering old flames
how sometimes I forget myself
I don't know what to do with that
but file it on the same old shelf
memory can take you back
but back is no place to be
remember how I touched you
I won't forget how you touched me
but those days just don't exist
anymore there's only here and now
Yeah me and old Colonel Kurtz
we'll do for your sacred cow
and I put all that behind
imagine my virtual J. P.
better be enough for you
it's going to be enough for me.

what

2.2041 : 12/4/10 : Interesting

Maybe I was more interesting
when I made stupider choices
couldn't there be some exchange
to hold onto those novel voices
and if it all stays dull dull
can I still do I still keep on
another useless riddle
another deep thought to sleep on
But I won't give up much
just to be interesting
and I guess I can keep on if I like
who knows what roads I'm testing
nobody's twisting anyone's arm
no one has a gun to his or her head
It doesn't quite keep me interested
but some strange itch gets fed

what

2.2040 : 12/3/10 : Missing the Music

I'm missing the music
And that's a hell of a note
Oh ah I slay myself
but I'm proceeding by rote
and if I don't find music
somehow these dry limbs
will never flourish
will be still and sterile hymns
I've thought about learning
and I've thought about asking
I've thought about miracles
and the great unmasking
but I just keep dancing
try not to ask what frog I'll be kissing
hoping to unmask a prince of song
to supply the music I am missing

what

2.2039 : 12/2/10 : Same

Same music plays
same signal
same hole is there
to go dig now
these beginnings
are so commonplace
no time to check the
sheepish look on my face
no time to wonder
how the shift could come
no time for anything
spit and play dumb
If I'd been there
maybe he'd have taken me apart
for hoping there could be
anything at all to really start

what

2.2038 : 12/1/10 : Different

Some sunny day
it will all be different
until then keep my
head down and pay the rent
If I can't prise something
new from the jaws of night
at least it can be put to bed
and save this searching for the light

what

2.2037 : 11/30/2010 : Thousand Cuts

None so deep
I feel allowed to complain deeply
look at that machinist I saw
how the price can rise so steeply
look at how my plan played out
a thousand ifs and buts
and me dying the cliched death
of bleeding from a thousand cuts
lacking agency
a viable vision
I hunker down before the box
and wait for transmission
just what I'm hoping for
I wish that I could say
I take another cut
and go about my way
I wish I could stop caring
and getting in a brood
I wish I could just walk away
but someone has to make the food
maybe I'll find a way
to jump out of these ruts
by the time that I've recovered
from another thousand cuts

what

2.2036 : 11/29/2010 : Cheat

Yeah I can cheat
with the best of them
and who do I cheat
no not the rest of them
I cheat only myself
but I'll make it pay
just like any good day
that's every day that I get
and I'll do it up honest
yeah I'll do it right yet

what

2.2035 : 11/28/2010 : Post

Post this, post that
I'm not the type to kiss and tell
post tit, post tat
I guest that it is just as well
I guess my legs are shaky
I guess my pipes are clean
I can't be rid of you entirely
I guess that you'd know what I mean
I hope you have not exited
I hope that you've gone clean
with a brand new spanking slate
I guess that you'd know what I mean
I know of one who has exited
leaving just the glorious words
Selfish I wish he were here
instructing all us clueless nerds
I guess I heard the call he left
chain letter of the soul indeed
I guess that I must have to
play the role of the dear friend in need

what

2.2034 : 11/27/2010 : Affinity

This affinity tonight
not the best time for
feeling it's all right
to flow to drift
to not to fight
and last time all things
fell from sight
but now I'll be
a better steerer
hope a day past
things will be clearer
and I'll see
what is nearer
even if the
cost is dearer
and with that
the harder work is done
and what's left
could be took
by anyone
let go of that
can't be moved by just one
take peace
at every song left unsung

what

2.2033 : 11/26/2010 : Quit My Dreams

Desist, spectre
and quit my dreams
we were done long ago now
and it seems
that you were or became
someone better not to know
and wondering if it all was by design
I kind of think so
were you nemesis, enigma
were you muse or mentor?
human counterpart for
everything I never really went for?
were you just a charlatan
out for your own amusement
all with a slightly brutal edge
odd rumors of abuse lent
I don't try to figure it out
anymore, you're really gone it seems
aside from memories
and sometimes of course dreams

what

2.2032 : 11/25/2010 : New Book

Has it been a year now?
more or less
no net to look it up here
I can only guess
am I off the better part
of a whole year
there is a milestone that tells me yes
just as I fear
I come upon your new book
halfway up some other stair
and there will never be another
all that's left is there
they're already digging up the past
and putting it all on display
already ready for the museum
and I feel like it happened yesterday

what

2.2031 : 11/24/2010 : No Repeat

No repeat will I tolerate
of the performances of late
the hard temptation I will feel
convinced the moment was not real
just because I don't remember
not a week shy of december
a date I will not record
I just forgot you have my word
and soon I will not even care
as long as I don't repeat it there

what

2.2030 : 11/23/2010 : Triumph

I will declare triumph
not the luck
what is going on
I will ignore tomorrow
the crying of
th' immortal song
Someday I will try
to interpret the
action
no doubt it will
be a millennial
faction

what

2.2029 : 11/22/2010 : Human Hive

Imagine being asked so little
a little here a little there
always safe tucked in the middle
no need to shave or cut your hair
the human hive the real thing this time
it all costs a penny and takes five minutes
think up a riddle think up a rhyme
the possibilities are literally infinite
well not literally you're so literal
remembering the library of Babel and its downfall
I get depressed thinking our chances are so pitiful
and never seem to get around to start rolling the ball

what

2.2028 : 11/21/2010 : Bang

No big message
no kingdom come
no salt in the spirit
so just bang that drum
No chance of a pardon
no chance for a reprieve
no future in this joint
so you are going to have to leave
The sign above the portal
said bang bang bang
asked her what it meant
she said not much of anything
we've given up on protest
nothing to resist
the man's just a machine
and changing it's a ship we missed
so we'll stay down in this basement
least till we run out of rum
there's nothing much to do
but sit and bang that drum

what

2.2027 : 11/20/2010 : Alarm

How long will I keep
this music for my late alarm
trying to convince me to let go
trying to walk me past the harm
a whole life in one context
could I change?
shift or grow or somehow know
something past rich and strange
tied to a memory
of someone else's swell and fame
another night I sought
and felt at last I'd lost the game
before the big peak just recedes
and cools me back to starting square
I'll wrap another alarm bell ditch
and leave the question there

what

2.2026 : 11/19/2010 : Recompense

Sometimes it seems I've no defense
when I demand some recompense
for some perceived deprivation
boy do I need a vacation
from the same old stale temptation
some new start some recreation
hard not to dream of the cash
harder not to fear the crash
given what's gone down to date
my recompense must have to wait
and while I wait and age is fleeting
it's my own self I'm mistreating
it's my own time gone to waste
and as far as recompense, I've lost my taste

what

2.2025 : 11/18/2010 : Spent

And just like that
I am spent
and no idea
where it all went
or how I held it
up this long
or where I'll find
the next song

what

2.2024 : 11/17/2010 : The Feeling

Is this the feeling
the moment come?
is this the answer
truth, is this some
I'm not convinced
there's anything here
that anything's coming
that anything will become clear
I've got the feeling
the cycle turns
but it all just rolls over
and I hate the returns
and the feeling goes nowhere
and I don't know what to say
about that other stack of feelings
I would rather keep at bay

what

2.2023 : 11/16/2010 : Galaxies

Ten galaxies for every
man woman and child
I corrected for growth down here
at least for a little while
yet here we are with nowhere to go
no tickets and no rides
and if we mess this rock ball hard enough
the price will come out of our hides
The glory mostly in our heads
and down here getting sparser
and we're fighting deckchair patterns
the conundrum has no parser
and we'll go down clinging
the the conviction the other guys were bums
pray that there's no heaven
or we'll all have to be chums
but for now I can take it
disappointment as big as a galaxy
that we do so very little
when what's possible is plain to see
I guess we don't have the equipment
the language that could set us free
to really step into the garden
get to know our galaxy

what

2.2022 : 11/15/2010 : Swing

Swing, swing
just look at that thing
at it hanging there and swinging
can you believe the line I'm slinging?

what

2.2021 : 11/14/2010 : Early

What I'm calling early is actually late
and in the context of my intentions isn't great
nothing to to talk my way out of here
no longer waiting for anything to appear
we tell a few lies even the best of us
we fumble the math trying to claim a plus
and that sound I'm hearing is my own breath
and it's not reassuring but it's better than death

what

2.2020 : 11/13/2010 : Remember Anything

What if I don't want to
remember anything
What's the best thing to say
to forget a particular brass ring
what if nothing is changing
and nothing is in my control
and who would I be to call anyone out
for not paying the selfsame toll
I'm praying to forget
and not recall anything at all
that I'll never look back again
at a particular year's great first snowfall

what

2.2019 : 11/12/2010 : Taboo

Can't talk about this
cant talk about that
too many subjects taboo
not about morals
belief or tradition
in truth I'm just trying to impress you
Golly how foolish
what a cheap talker
trying to work magic with words
and I should be over it
I should be realistic
never to rise to the top of the nerds
choose to be cryptic
choose to stay mum
King of my own tatty pile
suppose in ten more years
I'll be a bit higher
but still feel I've missed by a mile

what

2.2018 : 11/11/2010 : Pit

There's something very wrong
with the way that I've been trying
to liberate myself from this pit
where I feel I'm slowly dying
think it might involve this shovel
something to do with the digging
but it's hard to think about it
hard when I am always wigging
can't pick a direction
I get bored and dig a little more
can't go down forever can it
has to be a bottom floor
I just want to even it out
get the bottom smooth and flat
a good place to start jumping from
yeah maybe if I weren't so fat
somebody quoted me Jack London
Something about up and out
you make it sound so easy Jackie
that wasn't what you were about
I don't know what you were about
another thing to stop and learn
but even down here in the pit
the seasons turn and turn

what

2.2017 : 11/10/2010 : Forgetfulness

Oh my forgetfulness
how easily the past is lost
forget the summer's heat
the cruel before-spring's frost
I forget the loneliness
of being all alone
I better remember quick
my sins for to atone
can't go back and fix the past
not even only yesterday
and just like in the dream I had
Forgetfulness can't hold past effort at bay
I try to tell myself
it doesn't matter if I slip a bit
but the all or nothing man inside
doesn't believe it

what

2.2016 : 11/09/2010 : Bad Things I Want

I keep it quiet but I bet you could guess
I'm not nearly so nice as my resume suggests
I want bad things you know it's really true
I might even want to do bad things with you
I keep it buttoned up oh I am so reserved
conceal my blackest heart, what I think I deserved
you'd think it colorful, you'd think it was a stunt
If I told you about all the bad things I want
I wash the dishes I take out the trash
I wash my face trim my beard and mustache
I keep my mouth shut, eyes might look a little mad
with the pressure of the wanting to do something bad
well will I ever slip let my fists unclench
will I ever let my black angel get off the bench
and run with it when you all expect me to punt
whispered instructions in his ear:
get me some of those bad things I want

what

2.2015 : 11/08/2010 : I've Got a Good Feeling About This

I've got a good feeling about this
coming collapse
the way it's going to pan out
when the infrastructure snaps
I've got a good feeling
Won't let anyone dispute
and when all others are running
I'll be still and mute
Too many bad feelings
I didn't get a fair shake
I missed some real good chances
that's the chance you have to take
but I'll get mine I'l get mine
while all others are reeling
I will stroll through chaos so serene
held up on my good feeling

what

2.2014 : 11/07/2010 : All

Done it all?
Or maybe I ain't done nothing
Not fair at all
A whole lot more than one thing
So what's missing?
Is it real or just delusion
and does that question matter
is it the source of my confusion
I know it's impossible
and no one can do it all
and I'm not even close
I stood a lot against the wall
and will I ever dance
and will I ever dance
get a little of it all
get a little take a chance

what

2.2013 : 11/06/2010 : Extension

Can't hardly think
so weary from toil
turning the crank
to tighten up the coil
be back to full extension
in less than twenty four
and I feel all right about it
and I don't want one thing more

what

2.2012 : 11/05/2010 : This Way Comes

Let me pretend
something wonderful
this way comes
ignoring the portents
the signals the drums
ignore the gross
narratives of the short sighted
and the way what was
once green is blighted
act like a solution
is well on the way
to how we found
reasons for fighting each day
and despite all indications
we'll toss out the bums
when we celebrate the wonderful
that this way comes

what

2.2011 : 11/04/2010 : Is There Something Wrong?

Is there something wrong?
well is anything right?
that's the one thing that has me struggling
every late night
as the hands crawl blindly
to the witching hour
and my black angel's evil twin
comes into his nightly power
how to resist?
when I know it's just an incident
another day will find me back to square one
and the column still bent
how can this crummy frame
hold up this crummy roof
sure I know you know there's something wrong
but can you come up with some proof?
If not I'm sorry but I'm going to hold my tongue
or I'll soon say far too much
and this day is far too young

what

2.2010 : 11/03/2010 : Middle of a Mess

Smack in the middle
of a mess I made
doing everything
better sense forbade
no wise words no
exit strategy
hope's not enough
and I think fate's mad at me
no way to fix it
no bright notions
no magic spells
and no magic potions
no benefit to
not getting caught
nothing stronger than
knowing that I ought
to do everything
that's so obvious
a tiny hedge in a
world so perilous
no way to end it
in a neat wrap up
just a day put away
another bad idea to snap up

what

2.2009 : 11/02/2010 : Good Enough

So what if my best
isn't good enough
for what? I guess
to call the bluff
of whatever it is
that runs this show
used to have a name for it
but these days I don't know
what if I check off
every box I can think up
and find it's just like every other
stage I managed to stink up
what if my best
is really mediocre
just the kind of trick
I'd expect of this joint's joker

what

2.2008 : 11/01/2010 : Pretty Smut

Even all the pretty smut
can't keep my eyes open this night
what piled up against my door wasn't pretty but
Somehow its arrangement seems right
don't know how I'm going to kill the hours
can't imagine what a new day will bring
will I dream of the forest the towers
will I remember anything

what

2.2007 : 10/31/2010 : Five Years Gone

Late thinking on five years gone by
too many things I didn't think through
obsessed with long goodbyes
and wishes that didn't come through
not much to say about
firsts and lasts and and starts and finishes
and still the promises
and still the hopeless wishes
If it could be like a game I played
pick the hour and choose to rest
go back a lot longer than five years gone
where would I be if I'd really been my best
keep asking what can I expect
something different seems a stretch
think about five more years gone
think what l'd travel back to fetch
and what I'd cast behind
only this minute to transform
maybe someday someday
another tale will be my norm

what

2.2006 : 10/30/2010 : Something Else

If I could be something else, a magician
a far traveler, wandering poet and guide
a ship's captain, a stately patrician
how much would it change how I feel inside
maybe I've put the chicken before the egg
and it's the feelings inside that do the defining
limited to this narrow circle no chance to renege
and so useless the something else I'm pining
for and perhaps on the matter of feeling
it is paying them heed that's the culprit
slave to emotions and the chances they're stealing
that could see me in the wheelhouse, see me in the pulpit
but other times I think what the whole problem boils
down to is wanting to be this other something
barking up the wrong tree while my dinner spoils
I don't know if that's horrible or comforting

what

2.2005 : 10/29/2010 : Simple

Simple it's all so very simple
not a wrinkle of doubt or hesitance
so as to why it took so long or is
taking so long it must come down to circumstance
to do this and to not do that
it doesn't take a genius to plan
so some start immediately
but I'm not such a simple man
little turns out as  I wish it
always better in my thoughts before
but that can't be allowed an impediment
I've got what I've got and simply nothing more
maybe never enough maybe never quite good
maybe simple and plain like an unworked band
but I can't deny I see a glimpse of something higher
it has all unfolded just as I planned

what

2.2004 : 10/28/2010 : Last

By God I think that I can
win through if I can just last
that's yesterday's question
that moment is long past
and seems far longer a lifetime
that happened to some other guy
who made the same mistake twelve hundred times
and never thought to even once ask why
The last of this the first of that
none of it will matter in three months' time
it is an old square stone at the back of the hill
and see what you read when you scrape off the grime
here lies the last of the early risers
dragged across days by a slender thread
that must reel us all back asleep and drifting
floating dragged by that strand at the back of your head
Is that the last verse? no this is the last verse
reeling it in on its own little strand
to remember where I marked a moment, a form
held its symbol like a single candle in my hand

what

2.2003 : 10/27/2010 : Wind

Remember the night
of the terrible wind
thinking of what's given
and what power can rescind
all the things left undone
however you might work
and how the way of everything
seems like an unguided quirk
have I stood up
and made my position plain
and if the file has been corrupted
then I must stand up again
know I never do enough
or live up to my heroes
in a future that must be composed
of more than ones and zeroes
will one more gesture carry me
to be asleep in twenty four
and dreaming of some wonder world
and pray to do a little more
when he morrow comes calling
to whatever place I'm pinned
pray my prayers get carried up
by this crazy mighty wind

what

2.2002 : 10/26/2010 : Winter's Heart

How do I give up at the end of the day?
I try to live up but still I have to put the thing away
And almost every night something plays a trick
And all my clever promises just do not seem to stick
What am I looking for - amazing I don't know
Is it just a metaphor, or somewhere new to go
but the few places that I end at never change
it is no wonder if I feel somewhat deranged
There's nothing new to see but they dress it in different clothes
I asked the angel who the chosen were but he said not those
Oh did I not mention the black angel that haunts my nights
pushing my pen around and getting me in fights
tonight will be different that's what I've chosen to say
I don't known how or why but I'll believe it anyway
as darkness closes its hands around another winter's heart
I will pretend I've solved the riddle and have made a start

what

2.2001 : 10/25/2010 : Failing

I hate to blow you off again
but failing's not a mortal sin
and I am succeeding
at other things
for now
I should not equivocate
something that I always hate
to see in anyone else
but it make me grit my teeth and seethe
my head with comic storm clouds wreathed
that I really don't have anything to express
not even a no, no, not even a yes

what

2.2000 : 10/24/2010 : Beginnings

So many so called beginnings
it must start to look suspect
Alongside a stark sameness
saying what did you expect

Since I can't find the words
that sound like anything true
I will leave it at that
and just try to drift through

what

2.1999 : 10/23/2010 : Party Like It's

I think I already did this
Oh God I already did this all
what do you do when no matter what it's crazy
and plus you just felt your back brush the wall
I already got angry at stupid strangers
I already kicked the goalpost back
I already forgot the other thing I already did
hell just toss it up on the damn stack
Should I party like it's whatever whatever
already did it ten years gone and more
and did that other thing that I'm trying not to write about
I'm not embarrassed it's just such a bore
It's all so boring predictable nonsense
no chance of difference no reprieve
I haven't got a chance in hell why fight it
and it doesn't matter what I believe
guess I stay hopeful 'cause it's just hell not to
don't know how I do it after all these years
best not to talk about it think about it
listen to me kids if you've got ears

what

2.1998 : 10/22/2010 : Familiarity

It's time we took familiarity back
it's time we threw
every sacred cow on the stack
I don't know who that dude is
but he seems honest to me
it's time we it's time we
decided to take back free
I dream a perfect world
unapologetic
it's time I once again
declared myself peripatetic
not much chance these days
but hey if the dream pays
I'll call it familiar
and take it back
I'll call this the last day
and cast myself to the rack

what

2.1997 : 10/21/2010 : Bridge

I wish that I could burn that bridge
the one no one can see but me
to known it's there makes my head bound
to light it up would set me free
I fall asleep next thing I know
I wake up I'm halfway across
Because I've got no insurance
I'll have to sell it at a loss
Hey mister can I interest you
in something that's invisible
and in a place I cannot map
The situation's risible
but I'm not laughing I can't stop
dreaming of soaring towers of flame
I burn it all day long in my head
but every day it's just the same

what

2.1996 : 10/20/2010 : The Game Also

Hate the players and hate the game also
I thought my virtue was true
but it turned out to be false-o
I'm no player but the game beat me anyway
don't know what I came to say
besides I sure don't want to play
no more but you got no option to quit
the majority claims life
and by gods they'll have a piece of it
and some will howl
over this or that scrap
fools who can't differentiate
the territory for the map
no villains no heroes no winning
never a half time
never a final inning
The game also ends for each alike
Whether you sing a big song
or choke at the mic
seems unfair and arbitrary
well who says it isn't
but what do I know
I'm just some game-hating pissant

what

2.1995 : 10/19/2010 : Coup

Not much of a coup
but it's going to have to do
rather have it done
than try to impress anyone
left it to the last
still must let the ghosts go past
and point face to the sun
go on just like anyone

what

2.1994 : 10/18/2010 : Vanishing

The point's been vanishing
all along while I was banishing
what I thought were ghosts of the past
while I thought the spell would last
woke up recently enraged
at the dumb business
that had me engaged
I put a stop to that
but now I cannot find my main hat
now I cannot find my role
and all the days have taken their toll
and my optimism's fit to vanish
like my calculus and Spanish
all I lost to lack of use
all I've lost, and no excuse
I used to blame it all on fate
now just pray that the vanishing abate

what

2.1993 : 10/17/2010 : Thorn

Just what is this thorn
this irritant?
that makes me obtuse
and belligerent
that makes me drink
the poison
that turns this
wretched noise on
and so many times
I've said enough
always knowing
I can call that bluff
and slam my stupid hand
down on the thorn
keep trying but the doubt's
already born

what

2.1992 : 10/16/2010 : Sea Change

The sea change comes
just like the cycle hums
It rises like an ocean
and crashes just like a notion

what

2.1991 : 10/15/2010 : Oblivious

And I'm oblivious now
detached from time
I hate the thought of dragging it out
so I shouldn't do the crime
but these days keep coming
and the fever is strong
it will go one way or the other
and it won't be long

what

2.1990 : 10/14/2010 : Flow

Whatever flow is it isn't this
this is just simulation
the bottom line regurgitates a common theme
the lessonless, manifest reiteration
I do not have what I claimed to have
detachment, objectivity, whatever
I don't know what I have or don't have
I don't think that I'm even clever
at this point just to stop grabbing buckets of dismay
stop trying to ascend that pile
It's pretty gloomy now but I can only hope
things will lighten up a bit after a while

what

2.1989 : 10/13/2010 : Certain

To be certain
just can't be certain
So pull the curtain
and get on with it
Words lost to chaos
Well probably no great loss
it irks but who knows
it could be a hit
but this hit calls
and maybe that's all
remember to forget

what

2.1988 : 10/12/2010 : Blanked

Blanked out on whatever
I thought I had on my mind
Leaving an empty status
that left me in a bind
I've got no continuity
I've got no future plan
I just keep dreaming of seeing
the flash of gold in my pan

what

2.1987 : 10/11/2010 : Pending

When you can't tell if you don't know
or you're just pretending
Guess that could be real uncertainty
decision pending
When you're pretty sure
that either fork leads to the pits
might as well put it off
no use in throwing fits
don't feel right and I don't feel right
when I did I can't recall
but it must have been so lovely
must have had a ball
pending some enlightenment
some transcending flash
I guess I'll keep my counsel
try not to be rash

what

2.1986 : 10/10/2010 : Unremarkable

So is that it?
Is that everything?
the fear of the
unremarkable?
Go to be early
stay healthy and wise
avoid the fantastic
and the impractical
I hate the dumb romantics
who praise their follies
but I may be
just as bad
Sometimes I feel
just sick of everything
and no matter how I play it
I'll feel like I've been had

what

2.1985 : 10/9/2010 : Say Your Prayers

Say your prayers
Say your prayers
at the last possible minute
and as quickly as you can
put it off
until your mind is numb and humming
with a thousand contradictions
right back where the thing began
why do it anymore
I believe but I don't believe
that what I do matters
that i has any effect
I believe in You not me
and that what will be will be
and that seems to render everything
pointless when you stop to reflect

what

2.1984 : 10/8/2010 : Better Story

What if the better story
is disappointing
and less interesting
what then?
I only ever asked for
simple instructions
I never asked to
wield the pen
What if almost
nobody has
much of a story
has much significance
what if it's all
just a stage but
we are not players
but merely and audience

what

2.1983 : 10/7/2010 : Recovery

After the affliction
the recovery
past the worst depths of addiction
hopefully some discovery
reminder of better days
oh how we are poorly dealt
in so many way
another dense brick of evidence
for the disbelievers
why'd you make such flawed vessels
such faulty receivers
no answer there
yet you helped me at my darkest hour
the paradox of recovery
the discovery of a hidden flower

what

2.1982 : 10/6/2010 : Almost

Complete failure on
almost every level
so many chances to
run hot or run cold
I'm no ascetic
and there's no chance to revel
and I wasted another day
dreaming about gold
almost everyone I know
has gotten too busy
to worry about my problems
well I shouldn't complain
cause they all seem small
but all in all I get quite dizzy
when I stack them all up
and try to explain
I almost thought I had
an inkling of the answer once more
I didn't even bother to
write it down this time
I knew what I'd be chewing on
knew what was in store
knew it would all but evaporate
at the first bell's chime

what

2.1981 : 10/5/2010 : Sawing

That violin that I hear sawing
away
is just a bow fixed to
a dumb spinning wheel
a high sweet voice
heard in a dream
is a stylus scraping down
a disk of steel
good heavens did we
slip back a decade or two
there's no redeeming
this wretched start
but it's just another dram
in this damn hell brew

what

2.1980 : 10/4/2010 : Möbius

I looped a short white ribbon
with a half twist
and on that möbius band
I ground a fine grist
and when the subject
was the thinnest dust
Still I was faced with
just what I must
going backwards
just the same ahead
at some point no matter
where I was it came to a head
no way forward
but to break the band
and it will be a long season
till I really understand

what

2.1979 : 10/3/2010 : Epic

I think I hoped it would be epic
think I thought it would be epic
but I sort of planned for boring
fuck what all was I ignoring
and jesus what a topic
being dull dim and myopic
worst part not much different now
waiting still for the ka-pow

what

2.1978 : 10/2/2010 : Stupid Plan

I've got a stupid plan
I've got a stupid little plan
and I'm sure that it won't work
but it'll cover me for tonight
and I'm a stupid man
yeah I'm a stupid little man
and I'm not making progress
but I don't I still deserve to feel all right
first off I've done it all before
secondly it doesn't make any sense
so I'm expecting things to go very differently
this time around
worst of all I still buy into all of it
oh how I'll cringe a decade hence
coming back upon these strange predictions
Oh how it will all look from higher ground

what

2.1977 : 10/1/2010 : Perspective

Is there a perspective on this
where I do not look the fool
probably not I'm pretty sure
I know these tired angles
And was the time spent looking
for just the wrong tool
trying to true the square with triangles
At some point I will look back
and see it as a hideous start
to another long session of deception
I would like to look back
see the time when I got smart
and this little side step as an exception

what