It's not my fault, it really doesn't count
I can only count so high
and I haven't yet hit the amount
it seems to turn the record over
hear the best jam's on side B
a noise to make the earth split
and reveal the fault to me
Lava lava everywhere
and not a spark for fire
if it hadn't happened so many times
it might make me feel dire
Somewhere between what matters
and the crack that's breathing out
maybe I'll get the fault by the horns
and finally effect my rout
what
Don't need fortune fame respect or speed.
All writings © Jonathan Mark Hamlow 1998-2025
Saturday, December 10, 2016
Friday, December 09, 2016
2.1681 : 12/09/09 : Fragment
moments are touched
by laughter the only
redeeming feature
of these empty escapades
If you don't have anything
better than this to offer
go home and close the shades
turn the lights out
unplug your phone
pretend you're up in there
alone
And I give you this
clumsy fragment
like it was a sacred stone
and vow it will get better
soon
swear by the sun as
ths sun is to this
waning moon
what
by laughter the only
redeeming feature
of these empty escapades
If you don't have anything
better than this to offer
go home and close the shades
turn the lights out
unplug your phone
pretend you're up in there
alone
And I give you this
clumsy fragment
like it was a sacred stone
and vow it will get better
soon
swear by the sun as
ths sun is to this
waning moon
what
Thursday, December 08, 2016
2.1680 : 12/08/09 : Strange Estate
Maybe a snow day tomorrow
take advantage of my strange estate
find out what it might really mean
if memories just can't wait
if all the miracles were just special effects
and what you saw was really what you got
it wouldn't mean a whit to me either way
it's the ghost inside that burns so hot
sweet mystery called it sweet mystery
why are we here and why do we persist
am I allowed to enjoy a good life
or must all life be to resist
I can say that's easy for you to say
she can say that's easy for me
I guess I wouldn't call it hard
still it ain't nothing
and you get mixed up so easily
I couldn't write it a sonnet or more terza rima
doesn't really turn my crank or fit my schema
the data we have seen suggests it's true
better to apologize than ask may you
what
take advantage of my strange estate
find out what it might really mean
if memories just can't wait
if all the miracles were just special effects
and what you saw was really what you got
it wouldn't mean a whit to me either way
it's the ghost inside that burns so hot
sweet mystery called it sweet mystery
why are we here and why do we persist
am I allowed to enjoy a good life
or must all life be to resist
I can say that's easy for you to say
she can say that's easy for me
I guess I wouldn't call it hard
still it ain't nothing
and you get mixed up so easily
I couldn't write it a sonnet or more terza rima
doesn't really turn my crank or fit my schema
the data we have seen suggests it's true
better to apologize than ask may you
what
Wednesday, December 07, 2016
2.1679 : 12/07/09 : Fades
So clear now but the moment fades
as the usual stacks upon the conveyer
and you have to revert to run rob or run
the future's not so fun, eh, prognosticator?
Youth fades, beauty fades
choice and personality are probably bunk
we're probably just soft machines after all
Who probably won't make it, who are probably sunk
Light fades, at end of day
the night side gets its portion
Probably meet the same stranger again
Fixated to do his strange devotion
Had a little reprise of some old regrets
trying not to let it get me blue
Same old thing but there's always a new day
to fight to not let it fade between me and you
what
as the usual stacks upon the conveyer
and you have to revert to run rob or run
the future's not so fun, eh, prognosticator?
Youth fades, beauty fades
choice and personality are probably bunk
we're probably just soft machines after all
Who probably won't make it, who are probably sunk
Light fades, at end of day
the night side gets its portion
Probably meet the same stranger again
Fixated to do his strange devotion
Had a little reprise of some old regrets
trying not to let it get me blue
Same old thing but there's always a new day
to fight to not let it fade between me and you
what
Tuesday, December 06, 2016
2.1678 : 12/06/09 : Production
Production isn't everything
production isn't wealth
production isn't calling
production won't protect your health
if there are a trillion stars
and trillion trillions just like us
all production every where
won't spare the heat death exodus
what
production isn't wealth
production isn't calling
production won't protect your health
if there are a trillion stars
and trillion trillions just like us
all production every where
won't spare the heat death exodus
what
Monday, December 05, 2016
2.1677 : 12/05/09 : Rub
4,234 : 15 : ?I could stick around
tell all about
but I think I gotta go
and rub one out
there's the rub and there's the rub
every truth sounds false
but I've got the lightest finger
on that taut vein's pulse
what
Sunday, December 04, 2016
2.1676 : 12/04/09 : Don't Panic
First came Oklahoma
we forget about it now
everything was different then too
stand up take a bow
truth keeps getting stranger
how can fiction keep up
ask those ones whose shadows
I'm not fit to sweep up
but hey I'm not quite
past it yet
So I guess I'll take a crack at it
Still to see what I can get
what
we forget about it now
everything was different then too
stand up take a bow
truth keeps getting stranger
how can fiction keep up
ask those ones whose shadows
I'm not fit to sweep up
but hey I'm not quite
past it yet
So I guess I'll take a crack at it
Still to see what I can get
what
2.1675 : 12/03/09 : Bump
Shit is bumping all around
up in here tonight
and I think I could have you
if I wanted
but I am not that kind
as I imagine you know too well
so whatever else that little
dark play won't get fronted
wish that I could wave a wand
and get you a good bump
well it's been many years
but you can't deny I tried
Doubtful it would go better
though that isn't part of my refusal
If I said I never think of it
well there I would have lied
what
up in here tonight
and I think I could have you
if I wanted
but I am not that kind
as I imagine you know too well
so whatever else that little
dark play won't get fronted
wish that I could wave a wand
and get you a good bump
well it's been many years
but you can't deny I tried
Doubtful it would go better
though that isn't part of my refusal
If I said I never think of it
well there I would have lied
what
Friday, December 02, 2016
2.1674 : 12/02/09 : Their World
Their world where ten large bills
isn't worth the bother of looking
so bent and dumb and crazy
no one caught the
bottom of the books they're cooking
You say we've got no choice
we all have to live there
without a vote that counts
without a voice
no openings among the big chairs
revolution fails
politics fail
every grass roots movement is a bust
it gets back to their world again
predictably as we get back to dust
no memory, none are saved
messiahs don't work
science won't save us
their world rises like some
dumb law of physics
come back ready to enslave us
what
isn't worth the bother of looking
so bent and dumb and crazy
no one caught the
bottom of the books they're cooking
You say we've got no choice
we all have to live there
without a vote that counts
without a voice
no openings among the big chairs
revolution fails
politics fail
every grass roots movement is a bust
it gets back to their world again
predictably as we get back to dust
no memory, none are saved
messiahs don't work
science won't save us
their world rises like some
dumb law of physics
come back ready to enslave us
what
Thursday, December 01, 2016
2.1673 : 12/01/09 : Square
This square looks familiar
call it one or zero
don't call me for help I'm
not anyone's hero
try to get a good roll
make a better start here
might get sent back again
enought to start the heart fear
safer to set on my square
pass another turn
daydream about the day
when my sky begins to burn
mark my little check off
write another tally
give me a couple thousand
more I swear I'll rally
Ugly as I left it
as I had to leave it there
and it's waiting for me outside
soon as I leave my square
what
call it one or zero
don't call me for help I'm
not anyone's hero
try to get a good roll
make a better start here
might get sent back again
enought to start the heart fear
safer to set on my square
pass another turn
daydream about the day
when my sky begins to burn
mark my little check off
write another tally
give me a couple thousand
more I swear I'll rally
Ugly as I left it
as I had to leave it there
and it's waiting for me outside
soon as I leave my square
what
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
2.1672 : 11/30/09 : How Long
Head's in a press and feel
coated with something
a stink I picked up yesterday
while I was busy doing nothing
one night on the rack
left me bent over and aching
and the hell of it's the treatment
didn't even bring me close to breaking
how long? And King David asked how long?
this far in the only certainty
I feel is what I think's the answer's wrong
make haste to pick something
make haste to get it right
I've been so careful not to waste
I cannot get to sleep at night
the millstone's heavy but it rolls okay
it'll take far more for me to snap
and I may look ridiculous
but I'm a very busy sap
what
coated with something
a stink I picked up yesterday
while I was busy doing nothing
one night on the rack
left me bent over and aching
and the hell of it's the treatment
didn't even bring me close to breaking
how long? And King David asked how long?
this far in the only certainty
I feel is what I think's the answer's wrong
make haste to pick something
make haste to get it right
I've been so careful not to waste
I cannot get to sleep at night
the millstone's heavy but it rolls okay
it'll take far more for me to snap
and I may look ridiculous
but I'm a very busy sap
what
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
2.1671 : 11/29/09 : Picky
Telling me to pick
it's good advice
but I'm so picky
and when I open
up the box the mess inside
is very sticky
Seems it would be
obvious but it is not
all the blind paths
I've been down were cold then hot
then cold then hot
always feeling out of time
but time reels on
relentlessly
but if I said
I'd really tried I'd
say it disingenuously
trying anything
would have to be
better than nothing, right?
my struggling to
grasp this is the
hallmark of ten thousand nights
it's good advice
but I'm so picky
and when I open
up the box the mess inside
is very sticky
Seems it would be
obvious but it is not
all the blind paths
I've been down were cold then hot
then cold then hot
always feeling out of time
but time reels on
relentlessly
but if I said
I'd really tried I'd
say it disingenuously
trying anything
would have to be
better than nothing, right?
my struggling to
grasp this is the
hallmark of ten thousand nights
Monday, November 28, 2016
2.1670 : 11/28/09 : Expected
4,227 : 8 : ?Maybe I expected elevators
into space by now
computers that could answer back
the end of scarcity somehow
once upon a time the 21st
seemed so very remote
now it's yesterday's news
guess what, still in the same boat
expectations expectations
don't play that game near as much
the same hand picks my pocket
the same bums make the touch
the same old black and white game
expected what? I can't say
maybe if I thought it through
I wouldn't even expect today
what
Sunday, November 27, 2016
2.1669 : 11/27/09 : Another
I can't persist in this
coveting the words of another
coveting the success of another
coveting the gains of another
oh won't you tell me
where I'm supposed to find mine brother
Another day another, another
You can't chase glory all the time
and you can't make a meal of thyme
and you can't help but repeat your words
and ideas rise, scatter like birds
and if you don't already know by now
another man's bound to take your bow
because something persists but we don't
someone will be there but we won't
and if I had another crack at it all
I might be tempted to just take my ball
but I'd probably do it all the same
not exactly happy but still glad I came
what
coveting the words of another
coveting the success of another
coveting the gains of another
oh won't you tell me
where I'm supposed to find mine brother
Another day another, another
You can't chase glory all the time
and you can't make a meal of thyme
and you can't help but repeat your words
and ideas rise, scatter like birds
and if you don't already know by now
another man's bound to take your bow
because something persists but we don't
someone will be there but we won't
and if I had another crack at it all
I might be tempted to just take my ball
but I'd probably do it all the same
not exactly happy but still glad I came
what
Saturday, November 26, 2016
2.1668 : 11/26/09 : Show
I took this show on the road
my head was fixed on the gauge
Points racked just for showing up
Points rack up natural as age
Nobody's watching no
Look nobody cares
You've got to screw up worse than that
then everybody stares
modest and quiet success
nobody gives a hoot
you got to get on the road
you got to aim and shoot
but I'm so satisfied
yeah I'm so bland, serene
I am a thousand times
bigger than any scene
You want to show me something
you better look here first
here's all heavy truth on you
Answer all calls with thirst
what
my head was fixed on the gauge
Points racked just for showing up
Points rack up natural as age
Nobody's watching no
Look nobody cares
You've got to screw up worse than that
then everybody stares
modest and quiet success
nobody gives a hoot
you got to get on the road
you got to aim and shoot
but I'm so satisfied
yeah I'm so bland, serene
I am a thousand times
bigger than any scene
You want to show me something
you better look here first
here's all heavy truth on you
Answer all calls with thirst
what
Friday, November 25, 2016
2.1667 : 11/25/09 : Potter
Determined to be the potter
assured I am the clay
how long ago did I forget
to only want to play
I think I'd love to be bent
to a powerful will
love to be a useful vessel
been trying to run things long enough
stuck grinding in this stress hell
hope I don't get cut off the wheel
tossed into the pug mill
clay's not supposed to care
but pulling out the rug will
cost you more than one poor vessel
sure the word will get around
if you leave me spinning endlessly
or tread my substance to the ground
what
assured I am the clay
how long ago did I forget
to only want to play
I think I'd love to be bent
to a powerful will
love to be a useful vessel
been trying to run things long enough
stuck grinding in this stress hell
hope I don't get cut off the wheel
tossed into the pug mill
clay's not supposed to care
but pulling out the rug will
cost you more than one poor vessel
sure the word will get around
if you leave me spinning endlessly
or tread my substance to the ground
what
Thursday, November 24, 2016
2.1666 : 11/24/09 : Often
Every so often
shake off all the guff
must and ought
the smooth and rough
Every so often
give up without a fight
Wave easy and careless
So long to this night
what
shake off all the guff
must and ought
the smooth and rough
Every so often
give up without a fight
Wave easy and careless
So long to this night
what
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
2.1665 : 11/23/09 : Maybe Nothing
Maybe all won't be well
maybe it will all be rotten
Keep on fishing out the sea
and stripping out the land for cotton
There's sure been plenty of pride
enough to forecast a fall
and maybe nothing will
come up at all
those to whom begging lacks
the conventional aversion
may wind up getting the best
of the grim conversion
back to just scraping by
back to always back against the wall
maybe for the rest
maybe nothing will come up at all
what
maybe it will all be rotten
Keep on fishing out the sea
and stripping out the land for cotton
There's sure been plenty of pride
enough to forecast a fall
and maybe nothing will
come up at all
those to whom begging lacks
the conventional aversion
may wind up getting the best
of the grim conversion
back to just scraping by
back to always back against the wall
maybe for the rest
maybe nothing will come up at all
what
2.1664 : 11/22/09 : Fable
Surely this must be madness
a righteous fable
find my optimism
ready willing and able
again balanced like an angel on a pin
I'm not trying to get in
so if I look is it a sin?
The hour has come up
I'm in the thick once more
And only one direction can exist
and it points to the floor
Very close and comforting cool
a place to lie select the proper tool
I hope to do better
another day
hope to rise
and
hope to stay
what
a righteous fable
find my optimism
ready willing and able
again balanced like an angel on a pin
I'm not trying to get in
so if I look is it a sin?
The hour has come up
I'm in the thick once more
And only one direction can exist
and it points to the floor
Very close and comforting cool
a place to lie select the proper tool
I hope to do better
another day
hope to rise
and
hope to stay
what
Monday, November 21, 2016
2.1663 : 11/21/09 : Flip
4,220 : 1 ?I can't believe how close
you've come to getting me to flip
and for nothing at all
I confess you run a tight ship
maybe I'm fooling myself
I mean worse than I know I am
I said this day would come
yeah I believed in it like flying ham
If I prayed every morning and I prayed every night
And in secret every noontime
would you show me the sight
some way to have it fast
soe way that's sufficient
it doesn't seem to be so much
you know they tell me you're omniscient
They tell me that you care
well down here that's a tricky sell
they told me that you told some dame
that all would be well
And I do have so much to be thankful for
but I'm struggling with my grip
I guess I better hit the floor
and pray they do not make me flip
what
2.1662 : 11/20/09 : Day Brings
In over your head
missing the old days
slave to simple vices
damned by faint praise
things are too complicated
never time to really think
always well aware
of how bad your shit can stink
I won't figure it out tonight
I won't figure it out tomorrow
however hard I push my pennance
it won't save me a lick of sorrow
bring it all upon myself
saw it coming far away
read the writing on the wall
jumped right in it right away
and found I was in over my head
knowing old days are long lost
and every day brings its own worries
and every day brings a harder frost
what
missing the old days
slave to simple vices
damned by faint praise
things are too complicated
never time to really think
always well aware
of how bad your shit can stink
I won't figure it out tonight
I won't figure it out tomorrow
however hard I push my pennance
it won't save me a lick of sorrow
bring it all upon myself
saw it coming far away
read the writing on the wall
jumped right in it right away
and found I was in over my head
knowing old days are long lost
and every day brings its own worries
and every day brings a harder frost
what
2.1661 : 11/19/09 : King Folly
Perhaps the root of the king's problem
was that he could express but one sorrow
to find words for all the other pain
he had no recourse but to borrow
Like the keys to the Kingdom
arrayed at intervals along a chain
the daring to unlock all hidden heartbreaks
the daring to reveal the ugly stain
Oh King Folly oh the half created
world of stories killed mid sentence
Oh dear denizen of night there is a
gulf between shame and repentance
there is something in this court
a real spirit words with meaning
I fear it gets recycled daily
lost in the gloss of the daily cleaning
So are you going to open up
do you even know just how?
If not then what King Folly
and when then if not now?
what
was that he could express but one sorrow
to find words for all the other pain
he had no recourse but to borrow
Like the keys to the Kingdom
arrayed at intervals along a chain
the daring to unlock all hidden heartbreaks
the daring to reveal the ugly stain
Oh King Folly oh the half created
world of stories killed mid sentence
Oh dear denizen of night there is a
gulf between shame and repentance
there is something in this court
a real spirit words with meaning
I fear it gets recycled daily
lost in the gloss of the daily cleaning
So are you going to open up
do you even know just how?
If not then what King Folly
and when then if not now?
what
2.1660 : 11/18/09 : Crystal
What happened when the lens
became crystal clear and -oh God -
what I saw appear
the things I had to drop
and just stop
no explanation or goodbye
and that was tough
because I am a standup guy
now it feels like crystal
is inside my head
illumnating nooks and crannies
I thought safely put to bed
a real long time ago
turns out it wasn't so
If the dream exploded
and fell back to earth
And its husk put on a stick
and subjected to mirth
forgotten in a box
pushed back on a high shelf
If it's looking beaten up I've got
no one to blame but myself
what
became crystal clear and -oh God -
what I saw appear
the things I had to drop
and just stop
no explanation or goodbye
and that was tough
because I am a standup guy
now it feels like crystal
is inside my head
illumnating nooks and crannies
I thought safely put to bed
a real long time ago
turns out it wasn't so
If the dream exploded
and fell back to earth
And its husk put on a stick
and subjected to mirth
forgotten in a box
pushed back on a high shelf
If it's looking beaten up I've got
no one to blame but myself
what
Thursday, November 17, 2016
2.1659 : 11/17/09 : Exhausted
The hopper on this
time machine is
wholly exhausted
there might have been a point
some time ago
you know I lost it
No space to get fancy oh no
No time to get cute
the hourglass is busted and
we’re barreling
right down the chute
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
2.1658 : 11/16/09 : What to Do with a $10 Gift Certificate to Walmart
Principles are great
but hunger’s real
think about not having enough
think about how you’d feel
Spend it on food
give it to the poor
ignore the big picture
strangely you feel you have more
A thousand dilemmas
who can guess what’s really right
it keeps me guessing
it keeps me up all night
I’ll make the great chart
I’ll figure it out
the devil will be damned
it’s going to be a god damned rout
I’ll be here again
none to tweak the circumstances
a thousand and one hours
makes a thousand and one chances
forget about what you read
in some old moldy book
I’m going to make the video
that makes
everyone want to buy
the Bookwhat
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
2.1657 : 11/15/09 : Tribute
Tribute to the end of endings
tribute to the wasted chances
whatever it takes who knows what I’ve got
stand back I’m keeping the strange romances
I’ve got a grain of optimism
At a crossing I refuse to kill it
Half a surprise I’m happy enough
Now whatever flows I’m going to spill it
Maybe now I’ve jinxed the magic
Gone lukewarm and ripe for spitting
Go go go for whatever’s going
better get while the good is getting
Monday, November 14, 2016
2.1656 : 11/14/09 : Book
4,213 : 27 ?
It doesn’t seem to be
in a book or a magazine
and it’s been so long since I felt
like a smooth machine
running for a purpose
built for function
long lost miles past
the last known junction
So what is there
worthwhile to write about
words for words sake
nothing but dissent and doubt
nothing but frustration
angry and a long face
couldn’t be duller
couldn’t be a dumber place
to try to create
conditions I might just know from a book
maybe never real
maybe I’m afraid to take a look
maybe they were all right
maybe my highest perception
was always delusion
from the moment of its first inception
Sunday, November 13, 2016
2.1655 : 11/13/09 : Haste
Harried to haste
and must heed
time’s right and I’m
riding a rough steed
but I don’t mind and it’s all good
I’m all about willing
and immune to should
2.1654 : 11/12/09 : Good As New
Could anything make me good as new
what
Was new all that good anyway
Was there some ideal point I drowned in the late night smoke
How pointless is it to think this way
What’s eating me from the inside
what’s bolixed up the pipes this time
what keeps me from singing pure
from chasing down the obvious
fearing final failure or just a missed rhyme
Good as new good as new what a lovely idea
no meaning behind it a slogan to chant
some stuff I read said it’s maybe the afterlife
but if the science comes through maybe you want to recant
There’s no flush out no nano-resurrection
I suspect things will stay dull and continue
I’ll get old like any other, suffer for my
self neglect, for abusing the machine
Something I read put a thought in my mind
wouldn’t you really like to be good as new
Be a kid again but wise like I am now
What a silly wasteful daydream it’s true
Friday, November 11, 2016
2.1653 : 11/11/09 : Dare
Do I dare to look
at random chance I engineered
I know I won’t believe
what in a soft credulous
moment appeared
a moment of daring just
is not enough
And I guess that its detritus
will be scattered along with
all the other stuff
Thursday, November 10, 2016
2.1652 : 11/10/09 : Real Life
I don’t know why I do things anymore
Still evade the obvious
Still ignore wide open doors
an old way passed away but
nothing arose to replace it
and as far as I can tell about what’s going on
I can’t face it
We can’t get it together
we can’t deal with real life
I thought the future would be so cool
now it’s the present and just more strife
And the now-present future’s future
doesn’t look so hot these days
maybe that’s just middle age
or the way everyone pays and pays
want to believe I didn’t wait too long
who really knows, no guarantees
maybe I should just play after all
leave real life to the birds and bees
Tuesday, November 08, 2016
2.1651 : 11/9/09 : Streak
When I realized my mistake
I cursed a blue streak
if you enjoy schadenfreude, pal
Well peel the lid back and take a peek
2.1650 : 11/8/09 : Behind the Curtain
I can’t stop looking
behind the curtain
though nobody has been
back there for years
the chair at the switchboard’s empty
and I’m fairly certain
it’s down to random chance
when that giant head appears
It says nothing anymore
it just stares down at you
until it fades like
evening sun
a mocking silence left
it’s almost daring you
to ask it for help
like you’re the chosen one
and there’s nobody here
no not anyone at all
to tell you how to do
the magic to get home
somehow he rose up and out
left you to take the fall
left nothing behind but
riddles in a dusty tome
2.1649 : 11/7/09 : Put An End
I’d like to put an end to something
there’s so much left going on
I’ve got to pick and choose and be circumspect
and think hard about what’s already been and gone
In the hour of my revival when I
run up to the front of the tent
i might turn around and shout April fools
Man I’m already saved so you all get bent
I’ve got mine and still want more
damn me for a greed-headed jerk
I want it all without the weight of fame
Without the burden of chance or the pain of work
I know I’m crazy drowned in dumb daydreams
I don’t know what the hell my problem is
there’s serious stuff going down out there
So many a man would love to trade my life for his
So many pointlessly denied so much
I’ve got so little right to complain
Yet it doesn’t make a difference if I feel bad
So why the hell should I sign up for pain
I’d like to put an end to something
but nothing important is mine to end
and that’s one way I guess I’m just like you
the same wind going to make us both bend
Sunday, November 06, 2016
2.1648 : 11/6/09 : Breaking Lord Midnight
I almost became the
one that I fought
and that irony was
palpable I thought
with barely moments
to set the thing right
I committed myself
to breaking Lord Midnight
My star didn’t ascend
my path wasn’t made plain
I was washed out and weakened
by sickness and rain
but I slogged anyway
to another high tower
to confront the great lord
of the witching hour
I said oh Lord Midnight
I have to break your spell
well he twirled his curling mustache
and said well well well
kid it’s not my magic
that keeps you in thrall
and you may break me but
it won’t solve your problems at all
that’s as may be
well you may be right
So I said to the retreating
back of Lord Midnight
I guess I better learn some
new songs and dances
with nothing left to break
I’m really taking my chanceswhat
2.1647 : 11/5/09 : Doing It Wrong
Not lists not systems no not
any sort of thing that can be written down
Shoulda been bold and stopped there
So sad now you’re guaranteed to end with a frown
I want a quick fix oh
but I’m doing it wrong
I’m doing it wrong
but I’ve been doing it so long
not a quota not an experience
you can’t pay to attend a seminar
you might as well watch teevee for two weeks
you might as well pass out in a bar
I want a quick fix oh
but I’m doing it wrong
I'm doing it wrong
I'm doing it wrong
but I’ve been doing it for so long
Go back and start all over
nothing new there nothing new there
figure out how much you can take
because you’re going to have to take all you can bear
I want a quick fix oh
but I’m doing it wrong
I’m doing it wrong
but I’ve been doing it so long
I want a quick fix but
I’m doing it wrong
I’m doing it wrong
but I’ve been doing it so
long
Friday, November 04, 2016
2.1646 : 11/4/09 : Crush
Something nasty
to get the juices flowing
Something rotten and wrong
a little crush
harmless imagined
nobody damaged
nobody the wiser for my rush
a little weaker
a little set back
locked up in this room
fetch me a rag
bleach in a bottle
fetch me a dust pan and broom
I can’t seem to be at midnight
the night’s evidence I flush
stretching the hour a little longer
avoiding all thoughts
of my crush
Thursday, November 03, 2016
2.1645 : 11/3/09 : Elevating News
Don’t give me anything
but elevating news
I’ve had enough of reason
had enough of blues
tell me a joke
something to warm my heart
it probably can’t fix this affliction
but it may be a start
send me pictures of cute animals
dressed up as people
I’m going to raise an LOL flag
up my steeple
I’ve hadn’t seen it myself
I would not believe it was true
Take a look at this high Master
grab your own celestial venue
once I’ve mastered optimism
I will hang out my own shingle
run my hands over the cards for you
till something starts to tingle
when you have my elevating news
all the great stuff you have in store
you’re going to be hooked instantly
you surely will be back for more
2.1644 : 11/2/09 : If You Hurry
Don’t compare yourself to the other one
don’t compare yourself to anyone
It isn’t worth a thing to worry
And it’s a place you can’t get to if you hurry
while you were making 15 it’s one through twenty
rust and weeds were fighting it out on the horn of plenty
now that you’re back don’t waste any more time
You’ve got a long while still left in you prime
There’s no harm in acting as if everything happens for a reason
it might just help you understand each change in season
no surprise they’re throwing roadblocks in your way
you best believe I will smash everyone today
I should have known well I was sick and I was tired
I will not hurry I’ll just push till your bid is retired
And get on with getting over the latest affliction
And you will hear me speak unhurried an
with perfect diction
Tuesday, November 01, 2016
2.1643 : 11/1/09 : Intercession
Failing belief in material intercession
It seems likely I’m saddled for the long haul
And it’s unseemly to complain about minor affliction
but it prefigures the reaper and his gory maul
but it prefigures the the horrifying world
no protection from pitiless chance
no intercession and a horrifying world
don’t expect praises, don’t expect to dance
I could be coughing away my life here
wouldn’t make any difference, I’d be in the same
boat with you
I don’t know it that’s a mark for or against you
I don’t know I can make any sense of what you do
And I reckon I’ll survive this one just like the rest
hell I used to do it sucking up smoke
but I’m leaving it up to you to come up with an argument
that the lack of intercession doesn’t make you act
kind of a joke
Monday, October 31, 2016
2..1642 : 10/31/09 : Wasteland
An inch long and a thousand legs what on earth drove you forth
From whatever crack you called home until tonight
And I towered over you a failed flawed and capricious god
And observed dispassionately your hapless plight
And I said it’s been a long hard road you’re on: you didn’t hear me
or maybe you did, but didn’t understand being you’re a brainless invertebrate
And these 35 feet I pace late at night are a wasteland to you
and if the cat doesn’t kill you and you get across, will it improve your state?
And I pulled up short three times so as not to tread on you
what a fool what a fool what a foolish dumb sentiment
as your clockwork ticks you across the wide wasteland
surely I could remove you from the world without detriment
the trouble with the time travel theory that time travel is bad
because treading on a single bug could change it all
is that it assumes that things as they are are ideal
or at least saving because who knows, the coward’s stall
But anyway I let you go to inch your way across
I hope you looking down on me will give me as good
And if you never look down and see the world beneath your feet
transformed into a wasteland; try it once because you should
Sunday, October 30, 2016
2.1641 : 10/30/09 : Bulge
Push one thing down another swells up
battle of the bulge and the steady state
with one battle up comes another
no option but to choose not to participate
no different than the rest all soldiers no generals
no orders no instructions no maps
no radios no high command to call
just this dumb rolling ball fighting over the scraps
throw another book into the void screaming hole
Throw another handful of pocket change
spend another night listening to doom prophets
and another and another and another will be arranged
come sweet silence a little for a little while
war and chaos will roll over again
and to hope for any truce is a weakness I cannot indulge
Saturday, October 29, 2016
2.1640 : 10/29/30 : Wire Again
Now the wire again
nobody left to impress
nothing but to fill a little time
I could hardly claim distress
Head is pounding like the surf
not even a bender to show for it
just routine disease again
scarcely the energy to go for it
for heaven’s sake stop any time
I’ve got such great excuses
they shame me in the daylight hours
but surely have their uses
I won’t work it out again
tonight the wire will jerk me back
I should be grateful for the chance
to stand off from grim attack
Friday, October 28, 2016
2.1639 : 10/28/09 : Litany
A litany of small regrets of health complaints
of money woes and and working gripes
You must be as sick of it as me
Measuring hours with coffee drinks bought with plastic swipes
No poet, no artist no singer at all
a shuffler in a little church choir
strictly small potatoes unremarkable
toiling blandly at the end of the wire
a litany of false humility and false heart
filled with sputtering short circuited pride
Been in the sand box a long time now
Since I fell out of the ride
I don’t believe in what I hope for
I don’t see anything when I look ahead
So I worry about my health and the government
try not to think too much about how I’ve made this bedwhat
Thursday, October 27, 2016
2.1638 : 10/27/09 : The Early Riser
Maybe there’s still a little edge
left for the early riser
It’s going to be just hard as hell
but I might yet surprise her
I don’t want to think about
all of the things I’ve signed on for
right now it’s a steep request
to get on my feet on the floor
I can say never never I
can say never again the last
Oh I’ve got so so many
memories like that all stretching past
and I am not impressed at all
that I am still persisting
It sure seems there is some simple
path upwards that I am still resisting
2.1637 : 10/26/09 : A.F.L.
A stands for another F is bombing
L a word that rhymes with pissed
I can’t believe I’m trying to get through this again
take my pad and pen it’s all in the wrist
Like I don’t know what I need anyway
It’s just that I tend to forget
And as I don’t see you searching over hill and dale
to track down your poor lost pet
I guess I’ll try to get organized
and do for myself once again
Maybe then you’ll help me out
I heard it worked that way from my friend Ben
And if a little piece paper doesn’t make me
change my ways well then I guess I lose
At least if it’s all written down
I’ll remember that I had to choose
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
2.1636 : 10/25/09 : All Perfume
What if I said yes to everything
yes and to you yes and yes to you too
unimaginable impossible some fool’s dream
It can never work yes all would turn from you
yes it is easy enough yes to imagine
your soft yes world would be all perfume
lI can barely navigate yes the world of no
if I said yes to everything howe could I presume
discernment is yes necessary yes
none can have it all can they
So I yes beg for a firmer no
pray to God to keep the beast at bay
but my mind’s yes eye yes just
doesn’t want to cooperate
and I see things yes I’d rather not
what is the point of a grasping state
of trying to hold on when nothing will do
want it all want it all you you you and you
I yes say yes no yes and yes
go yes on yes to my yes diminished day
there’s yes no way yes I can yes resolve
and that’s yes yes yes yes all I have to say
Monday, October 24, 2016
2.1635 : 10/24/09 : The Punches Roll You
4,192 : 7 ?
Sometimes the next thing you know
it all comes so fast
the next thing you know
your whole life is rolling past
You try to roll with it all
but you know it’s true
sometimes you roll with the punches
Sometimes the punches roll you
It doesn’t seem like you can get
a single minute of peace
it would be one thing if you were
chasing the golden fleece
But we’re just chasing the buck
and trying to hold on
and once you get rolling
next thing you know it’s gone
You try to roll with it all
but you know it’s true
Sometimes you roll with the punches
Sometimes the punches roll you
Sunday, October 23, 2016
2.1634 : 10/23/09 : Only Game
I’m not proud so I play the
only game the only game in town
I will not disdain to play the only game
if that’s what claims renown
Play it badly play it well
with so much confusion who can tell
Still the game goes on and on and on
So hey today - ha! Yet another song
one day it may get old I may get exasperated
I hope to hell that purgatory is pro-rated
cause I’ve done a little time on this ball
and I don’t think I deserve a full sentence
at all
And that’s got nothing to do with why I stick around
no fears of dreams to come keep my feet on the ground
I play the game cause it’s there and I’m ready
better not blink my hands are so steady
another mile another fine rotation
broadcasting the signal from my secret station
that’s easy to find for anyone at all
if I keep playing the game
maybe someday the curtain will fall
Saturday, October 22, 2016
2.1633 : 10/22/09 : Stupid Game
Sure as hell I got to get out
of that stupid game
big talkers and I’m far too old
to play it the same
You can call it sour grapes
or say I took my ball home
like that but I won’t
push that one through your dome
but should I blame you for being
young and arrogant
One day you’ll be old and wise like me
maybe give up the game maybe then you’ll see
the hard and polemic will never concur
there’s a place somewhere for those unsure
I’m in a minority I don’t claim to know
what the hell’s going on
or who runs the show
Friday, October 21, 2016
2.1632 : 10/21/09 : Head Game
What do you think of the
head game son
I been through it confused
why you find it fun
but you really
seem to though you need much help
so many questions
crazy little whelp
hell I’m tired
hell my teeth hurt
it beats meta-reference
but it won’t buy me a shirt
and neither will head games
or daydreams either
so I stumble along
badly in need of a breather
Thursday, October 20, 2016
2.1631 : 10/20/09 Statistics
The statistics say packing heat will kill you
but you won’t change a thing boy will you
the statistics say I’m wasting my time
blathering about it while my jungle bells chime
and I’m a statistical creature nothing but
on the same bell curve again what the what
I’ve got correlation but I don’t get cause
and much as I hate to let the answer
slip through my paws
I better bow to the statistics and give up
the bar is so high and I’m failing so bad
to live up
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
2.1630 : 10/19/09 : Recreation
You know no one will write no one will call
no one will ask about the recreation
I’m getting used to it I hate to sound
like such a sorry shit
but truth be told this is my situation
I’m trying to build something new from scratch
and it’s a long haul and nobody is paying attention
at least as far as I can know
if they were you’d think they’d say something though
Occam’s razor has an explanation for zero mention
oh and will the recreation even matter
or will I just let it slide
I’ve done plenty of that yeah
and you know if it falls flat
there’ll be just another plain marker
where another idea died
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
2.1629 : 10/18/09 : Hello World
Oh yes hello
world
so predictable
Had some thoughts I didn’t care for
today
and I don’t want to tell them
to anyone at all
I don’t need to tell at all
maybe that proves it
isn’t serious
and anyway it’s all gone
and here I bow
under the camera imperious
2.1628 : 10/17/09 : Prior
Prior to deciding whether
to crash and burn
it’s not duress exactly
or salvation I spurn
I don’t know how to describe it
some desire to drive a nail
with one damn blow
and no doubt doomed to fail
then again maybe it’s just
wanting to scratch an itch
dig in a little really
lean on that bitch
just a dummy
making dumb decisions
pushing consequences on tomorrow
subject to tonight’s revision
what a drag
what a tale of fools’ delights
how many more does it require
these foolish nights
I wish I had the number
wish I had it written out
I suppose that wishing’s just
more of what it’s all about
Sunday, October 16, 2016
2.1627 : 10/16/09 : Cross the Line
Today is the day I cross the line
wow it just happened
check out my spine
I could claim I was hired to work
it would be fair I’m exhausted
I try to fight through it while
on all sides I’m accosted
by dreams by work by progeny
start the countdown on some click
don’t have even a clue
of where this strange idea took hold
could probably use a walk
this gloomy gray doesn’t help me
get out wake up or get busy
and just keep crossing and crossing the line
and it’s making me
quite dizzy
Saturday, October 15, 2016
2.1626 : 10/15/09 : Gorgeous
Give us back our gorgeous
dreams of tomorrow
instant everything and easy flight
this social rhetoric
and primitive explosives
Sure don’t match up to a dream of light
Is it an illusion I believe
that if we just dared to dream big enough
we’ll rise above this urge to war
and petty scarcity
and embrace experience over just more stuff
I suppose that I would have to
make myself a proof of concept
live a life glorious and gorgeous
it doesn’t seem so easy now
well no confess it doesn’t
but I can’t escape my portion is generous
what
Friday, October 14, 2016
2.1625 : 10/14/09 : Pattern Recognition
Why this brain’s supposedly so great
a point I tend to think you overrate
I guess it comes in handy
spotting the connections dandy
But in the valley where chaos reigns
it asks more questions than it ever explains
Pattern recognition
Won’t explain my grim position
Why isn’t it clearer or completely opaque
If I’m never going to make it will I always
have to fake
I recognize this pattern but
feel powerless to halt it
If I can’t blame my brain who can I blame
Still it feels wrong to fault it
Keep looking for the patterns
don’t you get discouraged
see long hours late of screwing off
hey maybe you should act your age
and I know recognizing it’s the easy part
scribing a new pattern is wholly the realm of art
but you’ve got to start where you are
if you hope to gin up a new avatar
Thursday, October 13, 2016
2.1624 : 10/13/09 : Passive Voice
What was done to me
What has happened to the world
the evil that was allowed to flourish
the stones that were hurled
in the glass houses that were built
by the figureheads selected
In the races that were bought and paid for
by the products that were selected
And it got called freedom
and it got called choice
until it went beyond endurance
and I yelled out in my passive voicewhat
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
2.1623 : 10/12/09 : In the End
In the end
what perfect arrogance
tell me friend
how do you feel about dissonance
I feel fine fine fine
I’m ready for
an uglier day
I feel fine
bring it on it’ll be
different anyway
there will be no end
there will be no aftermath
just now and now and now
throw the best case out
with the worst case bath
and I guess I am so dense
I’ve got to learn it over endless
it could be worse it could be worse
I’m not stupid
and I’m not friendless
2.1622 : 10/11/09 : Stupid Moron
The stupid moron
inside of me
barks for poison
as he swings from the tree
of the fruit of knowledge
of stupid and smart
I no longer know what this is
but could it really be art?
How I hate you stupid moron
I’d like to force feed you
arsenic and boron
wouldn’t it be great to be free
the only problem is the stupid
moron is me
I keep saying I’ll
keep him in the box
the moment I doze off
the stupid moron talks
I’m afraid I’m going to
just have to learn
to live with him and try to
cope when it’s his turn
Sunday, October 09, 2016
2.1621 : 10/10/09 : Last Page of the Internet
Last page of the internet
they’re making robot bees
at Harvard
Maybe I should have
sent in an application
shift my whole history
hard to starboard
You have to cultivate
and attitude of no regrets
just to get along
maybe today I’ll do
one more thing right
than everything I got wrong
I am thankful
don’t get me wrong
but I think that you
must earn me back
I am standing up
I am asking so much more
but truly I am
not on the attack
2.1620 : 10/9/09 : Epic Fail
Failed to keep the promise
throw it on the pile
hour stretching endless
be here for a while
swallow brandy
reach for a feeling
knowing it is only
my own sleep I’m stealing
told myself I wouldn’t say
the same old same old
day after day
sounds familiar
looks beyond the pale
another document
of another epic fail
2.1619 : 10/8/09 : Stretch the Hour Until it Breaks
I’ll stretch the hour until it breaks
act willful, claim it’s all mistakes
hands aching with the cold
and feeling feeling old
Hard to bear to tell it straight
the night is cold the hour is late
halfway through this foolish swing
praying the mighty pendulum ends this thing
Friday, October 07, 2016
2.1618 : 10/7/09 : Germane
What’s relevant? what’s germane
If I jump through every hoop
just what will I gain
say riches won’t make you happy
but debt will make you sad
It’s a hell of a system
And I feel like I’ve been had
It’s really all my fault though
I confess I should have known
if you have to find someone to blame
it rests on me alone
try to figure out what is germane
and figure out what fits
hope those hoops don’t start spinning
chop me into bitswhat
Thursday, October 06, 2016
2.1617 : 10/6/09 : Consistent
Try as I might I just can’t
seem to get it consistent
and the howling of my aging ego’s
getting more insistent
as I try to piece together
what the next phase is
don’t really want to talk about
it anymore but there it is
consistently falling short
consistently up too late
consistently glossing over
what maybe could be great
consistently backsliding
in habits old and new
just thank God I’m not a drinker
and that I’ve held onto you
Wednesday, October 05, 2016
2.1616 : 10/5/09 : Transcription
This is no new scripture
on golden plates
has it been a decade
casting pearls before the ingrates
transcribing history into
digital ether
I asked my muse to help out
She said it was beneath her
the scale of it defies
rational description
the big computer’s
universal transcription
destructive analysis
only information will survive
So enjoy all your sensations
while you’re supposedly alive
And I’ll make my map in miniature
my little track of the day
on the theory that the future
will need an awful lot to play
Tuesday, October 04, 2016
2.1615 : 10/4/09 : Insanity
I know doing it again is crazy crazy
Heaven knows I’ve tried to stop
Heaven knows I’ve killed myself
waiting up night after night
waiting for the other shoe to drop
It’s crazy and I have to
slog back even from here
illustrating the
definition of insanity
Learn from my mistakes
hell I don’t even learn from my
successes
So typical,
oh the humanity
2.1614 : 10/3/09 : Blown Away
Nobody’s getting blown away
by this masterpiece
hoping for some stale shake
buried in the crease
hell it could be worse
I could be thinking that way
I’ve made a tiny bit of progress
with my feet of clay
Just thinking about it
washes me out with fatigue
thinking the whole damn world
is out of my league
I could be so much worse
a real monster true
but I’m just not enough
and I’m so sick of pushing through
Sunday, October 02, 2016
2.1613 : 10/2/09 : Lost Leaf
Leave of paper, leaves of tobac
leaves are turning yellow
So soon winter’s coming back
and I have lost
the thread of the leaf
that I collected
and I’ve scrambled all the
notes of the
experiment subjected
Saturday, October 01, 2016
2.1612 : 10/1/09 : Working Backwards
Working backwards to fix the error
this one went deep it hurts
after the flood the crash the terror
we’re lucky we still have our shirts
try not to look at those not so lucky
try not to hear the bell toll
thinking about all that makes me feel yucky
and I don’t want to stop I’m on a roll
It’s really happening today I’m unplugging
flushing 13 years of poor production
find out what happens if I really keep chugging
maybe at last I’ll find my damn function
it couldn’t get any dumber I hope
drop all thought of sunken cost and regret
pray to get just enough to cope
Well you haven’t heard the last of it I bet
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