2.1871 : 6/17/10 : Bent

Time seems all bent out of shape
and disarranged
stuff that went down a few days back
I already feel estranged
hey that guy isn't me
that doesn't reflect my views
in light of the developments
in context of the news
I'm already against that joker
up there in the future
he's forgotten where he came from
the cheap pathetic moocher
If I had it to do again
whoops I guess I do
I'd tell them all to get bent
and wait oh so patiently for you

what

2.1870 : 6/16/10 : Human

You want to gauge the human condition
you don't have to go out on a search mission
It's all on the line these days
And not much worth the look anyways
Only a human could be so vile
there's a higher state but we're off by a country mile
still fighting wars and messing up the atmosphere
don't buy it? Gee man do you live here
Plain as our stupid shocked faces
There is that who sees all hidden places
Into my dark heart my bleak bottom
Oh the angels are out there, you just have to spot them
And me, only human, will at last expire
And still with no idea who lit that fire

what

2.1869 : 6/15/10 : Threshold

I can't even step across that threshold
If I don't want to meet a beast that's so old
That room I've been in so damn many times
From back when quarters were packs
and calls were dimes
And with nowhere on earth else to go
just standing here I guess I know
that I crossed it before I even thought better
and will awake soon at the jerk of the fetter

what

2.1868 : 6/14/10 : Terrible Thing

You know that God could be
a terrible thing
so terribly aware
and you -
you don't know anything
keep smacking into that
window, fly
one thing you can say for God
we all eventually
get to die
I didn't say it
but it bears consideration
we may be nothing but
divine recreation
You can't deny
that it explains
a lot of terrible things
and I'm terrible for saying it
even so hope
eternal springs

what

2.1867 : 6/13/10 : Black Out

At times I day dream of a blackout
that doesn't end
if you don't think it could happen
to this society friend
you must not be paying attention
or perhaps you just prefer
not to heed the ugly options
what's the point of raising a stir
soon the batteries would run out
Soon we couldn't pump our gas
Generators getting scarce
who knows what would come to pass
I think about it when the lights go
well it always turns out right
So I suppose I'm like the rest
think nothing to turn on the light

what

2.1866 : 6/12/10 : No Markers

You become aware of time
as looped and seamless
no ends of weeks
no hours no days
no vacations
no days off for sickness
no markers, no point in displays
awake or sleeping
lucid or dreaming
conscious or unconscious
independent of all thought
or so I theorize
as my life burns before my eyes
proceeding inexorable
toward an apparent nought

what

2.1865 : 6/11/10 : Weakness

The weakness will not
leave the body
the weakness will not
leave the mind
I could tell you just
what I think of you
but I was brought up
not to be unkind
it's time to accept
a much lesser lot
but I'm starting to think
I just don't know how to
And if I accept that
where the hell does it end
what ugly idol do I
have to bow to?

what

2.1864 : 6/10/10 : Nadir

Nadir, that's the bottom, yo
bad news, probably not
but I'll pretend it's so
the thing about
the shape I'm in
is it's well beyond
motivation or sin
and however ready I felt to begin
the dice roll how they roll
attrition takes its toll
and the nadir could be lower
than I can bear to contemplate
and I just have to swallow that
because it's almost early it's so late

what

2.1863 : 6/9/10 : Came Back

I came back just to say
that all day and everyday
I'm down begging on my knees
show me the better way

I don't want to be rich
just to crawl into the black
Don't think I'm fit to save the world
just want to give a little back

You wouldn't think such mild
aspirations would be such a fancy flight
but in an abandoned and forsaken world
I guess they just might

what

2.1862 : 6/8/10 : No Rest

No rest
no true rest
I don't believe it's meaningful
don't believe it's a test
but I don't have to
bow to it
though I can't shake free
I don't have to contribute
in that tiny way I'm free

what

2.1861 : 6/7/10 : The Great Leap Forward

The great leap forward
powered by the battery
oh let me daydream for one night
oh let me dabble in self-flattery
If I really believed
If I really had faith
If Grace is truly limitless
as it is written, so sayeth
This could be the Great leap forward
ending many false trails
Starting many great tales
Free of so many false grails

what

2.1860 : 6/6/10 : Backwards

Everything is getting backwards
finding all the frayed dropped threads
a maze of splintering loose ends
because ofs mixed with insteads
try to put a marker on it
hold my hand remembering
been down that line this line the other
backwards I guess must be the thing
habits that are not making me stronger
I know what I have to do but
retracing the steps is hard
harder than staying in the rut
but I just have the day to mind
poised on the hour between one, another
help me father help me mother
help me wife, son, sister, brother

what

2.1859 : 6/5/10 : Songs

Songs, jams
Krog thank-you-ma'ams
we cooked up a few for sure
rise, fall, paracetamol
there was something in it, pure
there's no need to fret
or hedge any bet
do it right the first time
rise, take control
do a deal for your own soul
I'll sell it to you for a dime
no shtick here. pure noise
and if its clean line annoys:
remember to breathe and shut your eyes
it doesn't wrap like you suspect
it's maybe a little perfect:
a thing forgotten remembered, then: surprise

what

2.1858 : 6/4/10 : The Latest Weekend

The latest weekend
the latest song you've got to sing
post structure
post reaction
post-ism, post everything
if you la la la
if you coo coo cuchoo
You know it's out there
it's going to find you
no more ists, istics or izing
the possibilities are paralyzing
but you latest weekend kids
you've gotta move move move
you dance all thought away
nobody to approve
co-opt or package
nothing's for sale
and there's a hole
in the bottom of the pail

what

2.1857 : 6/3/10 : Your Are Here

You are here, and nowhere else
can't build experience from nothing but yourself
can't change the past, take a thing back or add
what you missed you missed and will be unsatisfied
I am here, and it's all what now what now
The joke is when I get that I'll be swallowed up in how
but something has to change, and something has to give
It's hard enough to get up, hard enough to live
This is not the change, this is not the shift
this is not the sign of the cloud about to lift
no harbinger of change, no changes in the wind
nothing at all on which to get hopes pinned
just a blurry map
an X marked you are here
And whether I get up or sit
will take its own sweet time I fear

what

2.1856 : 6/2/10 : Condition

If a name has been given
to the condition
the treatment is known
but is kept from fruition
this can't be dismissed
as a phase of contemplation
it is its own condition
a unique creation
the lists have been made
the search completed
Still day after day
the resolve is defeated
still day after day
the conviction remains
obscured though it is
by the layers of stains
I've got nothing to say
it's all been said before
one more day, one more day
staring at the black door

what

2.1855 : 6/1/10 : In the Bone

This poison this cancer this bell that tolls
Some black humor bred in the bone
these back water pest holes
hours I spent sunk in alone
how many times did I pray for release
how long how long how long
never once did the poison's flow cease
another day it seems just as strong
I'd like to promise a turn of the page
Lord knows I've done it before
Can't seem to buy into a new age
guess I better hoist my bones off the floor

what

2.1854 : 5/31/10 : Same Dream

Every day fail to balance on the beam
every night every night the same dream
or maybe only similar
It's all sure as hell familiar
Whatever I say tomorrow it won't mean a thing
No matter how long I push the pendulum will swing
And the same dream or similar harasses me
Every night I have to fight to let sleep happen to me
Every night I fight the same stupid little battle
Every day I sigh and climb back up into the saddle
Will this storm stop for a while now or just get worse
Is there any good damn reason for this curse
do I have the right to piss and moan just a little
you seem to have time
to listen to me rhyme
while you saw that fiddle

what

2.1853 : 5/30/10 : Crazy

We keep doing what we're doing
expecting a different result
someone said that that was crazy
But I say it's not our fault
Because when you run out of ideas
what else are you going to do
it doesn't matter if you know it's crazy
You can't stand to do nothing so you have to
do it all again and just feel crazy
do it until every reason's hazy
the sides the speeches the fighters and teachers
the acts and manifestos oh we're crazy creatures
way too late I think I see a different way
some other organization, no icons no leaders
who do I think I am just another crazy
how many have tried unseen unheeded
You can't change human nature
Which is crazy so we're doomed
concluded so went away and the
same old same old resumed

what

2.1852 : 5/29/10 : Waste

Here it goes again
and it's going to waste
miss another chance
to declare a place
as the landing strip
or the turning point
or the launch pad
or the cursed joint
So set by the way
tapping out and down
no chance of wrestling the future
to the fucking ground
hang that fucker up
Say you've seen his game
Say it makes no never
say it's all the same

what

2.1851 : 5/28/10 : Dark Path

The dark path again
the hard math again
I could say my head was spinning
but really nothing's moving
Unforeseen blank again
Back in the tank again
New fears still beginning
nothing here worth proving
going up then down
shake my cup in town
could you spare half a penny
brother are you getting any
lost the thread it's gone
drag this bed along
that I've left unmade
lie in dirt instead

what

2.1850 : 5/27/10 : Brief

State your case and make it brief
You'll not be asked again
the judge will render unto you
a reason for how when
You thought you were on the edge
of something like success
bad luck and more bad luck came
another crazy mess
there do you feel better now
with reason in your hand
no better off no real response
but leave the witness stand
the line is stretching out the door
they all want to state
their cases to the authority
we're sure you can relate

what

2.1849 : 5/26/10 : No Marker

No marker this time
no true count
no way to know or guess
the actual amount
is that a gimmick
some kind of trick
Regardless I'm just hoping
this time it will stick
So many so many
So how to believe
that I might still have
a surprise up my sleeve
one day and another
burn each bridge so carefully
leaving back no line or marker
what remains is only me

what

2.1848 : 5/25/10 : Throwaways

Having learned not one thing
from all the other throwaways
I hang the shame I'll wince at
in a couple thousand days

what

2.1847 : 5/24/10 : Power Trip

No defeat
I want a rising beat
and something to get
So many people on their feet
a tongue's slip
is it really just a power trip
Say you want to liberate
or just to have them in your grip
So hard to believe
with so many dead dreams to grieve
like it's going to fall together
when all the flesh starts to heave
hey I just want a little show
nowhere special, a dozen go
no power trip, talk right
over me after all what do I know

what

2.1846 : 5/23/10 : Bow

Tie every loose end
in a neat neat bow
throw the bottle far enough
hope you catch the undertow
I want every ending
to be happy, not sad
every little thing good
Why not? nothing bad
we get tons of realism
in this life
mountains of cold pragmatism
buying strife
I'll take a happy ending
when I'm feeling low
pack all up neatly and
deliver with a bow

what

2.1845 : 5/22/10 : Evidence

Cover up the evidence
of continued wasting of life
throw up a front, spare no expense
poke it and dig around with the knife
so full of venom
so full of rage
so empty of the wherewithal to fill another page
tick on like an old spring clock
I don't know what the hell is winding me
mulling over, taking stock
you're taking your damn good time finding me
one in a million means so little down here
means lost among the thousands
and one thing's clear
you've got to cover up the evidence
try to look important
it will mean nothing fifty years hence
So let's not talk about the elephant
standing by in this small room
also don't mention it's a tomb

what

2.1844 : 5/21/10 : Days

What is the story
of all these days that get away
doing something wrong I'm sure
but do not know what else to say
the story of the moment
to the moment is compelling
but when I try to justify
it just feels like I'm selling
and really who is buying it
anyone besides me?
selling a number
a title, some fantasy
the lone creator
the genius in his toil
praying something worthwhile
sprouts out of this base soil

what

2.1843 : 5/20/10 : Shameful

Too many reminders
of shameful little ditties
Why blazoned in capitals
the stupids and the pretties
any story of what it's for
crashes on the evidence
of random words and lines
that do not make a lick of sense

what

2.1842 : 5/19/10 : Status

Everybody's checking the status
It seems to be okay
knock on wood for now
check a little deeper another day
not what I expected no
Guess that it never is
always these reminders
Not my time, all His
Thank you for the status check in
thanks for asking after
hope in not too much time
I'll refer to it all with laughter

what

2.1841 : 5/18/10 : Suspend

Tonight I will not
suspend my disbelief
that it matters what
I pull out of the teeth
of grief
or the eternal thief
Tonight I'll take
Whatever I can get
and if you're the type
to place a bet
I'd caution you to let
your better judgement favor any debt

what

2.1840 : 5/17/10 : Recursion

Feel the pull of recursion again
its the nature of the universe
of life itself my friend
iterate, reiterate to no clear end
and speaking of endings, maybe
that's missing the whole point
the process is the whole show
no terminus or joint
Does that mean I'm fine?
Does that mean I'm a success
does that mean there's a silver lining
in this God-forsaken mess
Go over it and over it
ten years, ten more
soon a strange recursion of a young man's
knocking on my door

what

2.1839 : 5/16/10 : Monster of Impatience

I want to name this monster
of impatience for you so bad
my finest little friend
Because it will be too long
until you can finally
understand
I look for answers
in books and prayer
these days I'd try to
seek it anywhere
and I swear I will
get better
at making the monster tame
and until then I can only
remind you
it doesn't really
share my name

what

2.1838 : 5/15/10 : Cries

Everyone cries
even tough guys like me
all those billions and billions of tears
filled up the great salt sea
the world is so sad
and there's so little we can do
and asking why won't get you anywhere
that's something I know is true
Everyone cries
kings and presidents
Queens and parliaments
it makes no matter
they cry over movies
they cry over our graves
cry for the ones that nothing saves
over pages tears spatter
I cry when I need to
I cry when I must
but I often can't when I want to
I guess something to do with trust

what

2.1837 : 5/14/10 : Ghosts

I feel the ghosts of graves and guns
ghost of old pains
through my channels it runs
I said please make it easier
So you make it harder
honestly do you think
this ordeal's making me smarter
Because I don't feel smarter
I feel dumb as a spike
that got pounded on the wrong end
a good fifty strikes
and these ghosts swirling round
they aren't telling me squat
least of all who the hell's
bad luck I caught

what

2.1836 : 5/13/10 : Bright Side

Does your
two headed penny
have a bright side, bright side
heads you win, heads you win
which is my side?
reviewing past performance
I may not have been so great
at looking for the bright side
what would you say
has made me strong?
What would you say has made me well?
What makes me sick and weak and sad?
What makes this sour dust taste
What makes a prison cell
What makes us feel that we've been had?
Does your
two headed penny
have a bright side, bright side
heads you win, heads you win
which is my side?

what

2.1835 : 5/12/10 : A Word

Could I have a word with you
you Lord
if that's the word
for something that seems
only to wield silence
or a sword
the thing is
I can't make this
math work out
and this cheap postcard
I got sent seems
to smirk, pout,
sneer, disappear
Sorry I guess I can't remember
what the word was
and the answer always
seems to be just because
anyway
so it doesn't seem much worth it
to remember or say

what

2.1834 : 5/11/10 : Break Out

Break out today though some
bars I'll carry with me
some new some old I'm
hoping for renewing
of some old dreams dry dreams
stale and choked with dust
that nasty jolt we hit hurt
but it shook off some rust
no doubt there will be time
For the bright talk to lose its shine
but I'm used to the ups and downs
I can tell which voice is mine
and it's good enough now
to see the bright side in beating this bout
and getting up and getting home
and breaking out

what

2.1833 : 5/10/10 : Nomad Middle

In this nomad middle, a field
of dreams
some interesting some so dull
though sent in on the same beams
the nomad is me a solo traveler
of arid seas
and the middle well
this middle here
is the forest I can't see for the
trees

what

2.1832 : 5/9/10 : If This is What it Takes

If this is what it takes
to slow me down enforce a break
I guess I'm learning it
If the medium's the message
and the message is to stop
I guess I'm learning it
Well I didn't think I
would be quite so dense
I would wait so long
to get off the fence
but if this is what it takes
to lose a little control
I guess I needed that
Oh I recall so many
early warning calls
I wish I'd heeded that

what

2.1831 : 5/8/10 : I Would Say

I would say
this day has not
ended for me yet
and I did not
suspect even a
fraction of what I'd get
I will take my
free pass on this
small matter
not enough
to pain or
make my thoughts scatter
it's an experience
I can say that much for sure
not what I'd ask for
but you can't say it's not pure

what

2.1830 : 5/7/10 : Phone

Bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone: bitch please shut off your phone - just turn the damn thing off if you want to be left alone - just turn off your damn phone - bitch turn off your damn phone
If you look you'll find a little button on the top
Just hold it down and all those calls you're hating on will stop
And put it in your purse now that wasn't hard you see
and also on the plus side it will save your battery
Bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone: bitch please shut off your phone - just turn the damn thing off if you want to be left alone - just turn off your damn phone - bitch turn off your damn phone
hawking products in your videos makes you a whore
they may call it new burlesque, it's grinding on the floor
nothing at all there someone didn't do before
more hype more ads more clothing bads I thought there would be more
Bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone: bitch please shut off your phone - just turn the damn thing off if you want to be left alone - just turn off your damn phone - bitch turn off your damn phone
there's a button on the top that'll make it stop, turn off your goddamn phone
there's a button on the top that'll make it stop, turn off your goddamn phone

what

what

2.1829 : 5/6/10 : The Hole

Not feeling like suppressing
all the hate tonight
It's flowing fully freely
and I feel great tonight
prone to no vices
Yeah day zero again
I'm hammering on the gates
motherfucker let me in
Could I feel smaller
Sir, no, I could not
While you pull your force majeure
on one other's battle fought
to you sir is my deepest bow
my forehead hits the floor
and crashes right down through it
sorry I can't offer more
but the hate will keep me occupied
my hands from idle work
my eyes from seeking out offense
until I feel the jerk

what

2.1828 : 5/5/10 : Could Be the Start

This could be the start
of something good or bad
end up feeling like a King
or feeling I've been had
trying to take a step up and another
trying to take my own advice
just trying to find something that's good enough
I'd want to do it twice
It looks so much like the old
hard to convince myself it's new
it could really be the start
if I believed that was true
trying to take a step up and another
trying to take my own advice
just trying to find something that's good enough
I'd want to do it twice
I wrote the rest already
in a vision or a dream
though it seemed so much better there
such things are never as they seem
trying to take a step up and another
could be the start up to the top
just trying to find something that's good enough
that I never want it to stop

what

2.1827 : 5/4/10 : Slower

Harder time
is always slower time
I can almost appreciate
it
still the work chime
goes off constantly
and I am dragging see
as I try try try
to go about it patiently
couldn't be sweet, easy
and go slow too
another long turn around
another day is through
gone past in slower speed
stuffing in so much need
and I am the bullet now
only one voice I heed

what

2.1826 : 5/3/10 : Situation

I can't retreat I cannot stand
I can only sit here with a clenched hand
this situation what a mess
I should stop watching the news
and reading all these clever people
with their clever views
I try to do right I try to be just
but all around me all I hear is
must must must
they tell me what's necessary
it just doesn't seem right
and the situations been
keeping me up too many nights
I can turn off the box
I can stop the Reed
I wont' change anything anyway
maybe I get my chance to need
it doesn't quite satisfy
and it's sure no vacation
isn't that just like
the situation

what

2.1825 : 5/2/10 : Specifics

I'm ready to give up
on the specifics
I'm dreaming oh God
of the Pacific
That chance is gone
and it might be so long
before the creed
of possibility
sings me the next song
I should be happy
What the hell, I am
my daily quotient
of come-ons and spam
I'm not going to complain
or whine, or cry
I'll just stand up
and weep
'cause I'm a stand-up
guy

what

2.1824 : 5/1/10 : The Rats

In anticipation
of a quick collapse
stockpiling procedures
while the gentry claps
I suspect the system
can't adapt near fast enough
and you'll see the rats' abandonment
when it gets rough
some say we've got
comeuppance coming
doing the black tails
when we should be slumming
Well I just shrug my shoulders
and I shake my head
we've got our sins and privileges
but still we all wind up dead

what

2.1823 : 4/30/10 : What Is/Maybe So

What is life?
It's a chemical reaction
maybe so
it's a series of retractions
maybe so
What is why?
it's a meaningless oration
maybe so
a vapid exclamation
maybe so
What is love?
it's a series of decisions
maybe so
it's a lifetime of revisions
maybe so
maybe so
or maybe not

what

2.1822 : 4/29/10 : Aspire

Do I aspire to this grim profession
Scrivener, scribbler
might make an impression
on some callow youth
inspire in them an outburst
The balance in the bankbook though
traditionally thus cursed
remembrance of
you peek a boo past
like a head in a vice
with your foot in a cast
in ten more years
they might call it art
while I watch a little more
of the world fall apart

what

2.1821 : 4/28/10 : Later

Later man I wished
I learned and then I fished
Ignorant of depth
or the ways, or the tides
I tried so hard to do it
without choosing sides
and when the stranger advised me
to switch up for one last cast
I did as I was told
but I could think of nothing but the past

what

2.1820 : 4/27/10 : Cheat

Hell yeah I'll cheat
Why not? You do
with your heads I win, tails I lose
crackerjack voodoo
considering the
shape that I'm in
You can take the rules and
shove them in your exit bin
like any of it matters
five years or ten
or the reason some dim night
I chose to start up again
While the true quill always
comes and goes
You push me one inch more
I swear we'll come to blows

what

2.1819 : 4/26/10 : Any More

What exactly are you looking for?
I don't really know why
I ask that any more
it's obvious not a thing makes sense
and expecting reasons
makes me sound so dense
I don't eve have a right to complain
still it's real trouble
and real pain
and if I stop looking for
things to signify
I guess I'll just push on
until the day I die

what

2.1818 : 4/25/10 : The Corpse

No rush to destroy
the house though it is dead
and flesh is falling off the bone
while we go on living in the head
the eyes are windows now
where lips were is a gate
no tongue lies ready
anymore
this is the corpse's grim estate
I pray that it goes slow enough
I pray we can hold on
though its fate waits
for all of us
and finds us all no matter how far gone
the corpse is the reminder
the corpse is the retreat
this gross estate we fester in
the fate of all dead meat

what

2.1817 : 4/24/10 : The Question (Ten Years On)

Ten years on
the question comes
long after the answer is forgotten and gone
the bottle broken
the ammunition damp
the vestiges gone off
on some great Cosmic tramp
pretend that it's a riddle
and not just some damn mess
a pig's still a pig
If you put it in a dress
Still it's neat to have the question
something tough to chew
while I wait and wait
and wait
to be told what to do

what

2.1816 : 4/23/10 : Nice Planet

Well it seems like a nice planet
still despite all the stuff
these days
that temperature thing
all the concrete everywhere
so many of us
and the theory that crime pays
fast as we're cooking
it goes so slowly
we'll all be dead
and hardly even see
our crazy extent
I try to stay positive
despite it all imagine
some solution state
all of us
under the big tent

what

2.1815 : 4/22/10 : Expecting Death

Expecting death
is not pessimism
and in that simple horror tale
is the root of the death of -ism
and yet to dwell on it
is to poison what is sweet
in life and little as there is
it's a shame to waste the tender meat
Expecting ends
ages, civilizations
deaths of economies
and media and occupations
the only solution
that I've ever found
is to be here now
feet on ordinary ground

what

2.1814 : 4/21/10 : Box

Maybe the box has gotten too small
no more experience to mine at all
the worm turns and chomps its tale
I try to look up and out but I fail
I tell myself not to get angry but I do
I'd happily blame the whole thing on you
bitter protests from inside the box so small and plain
So I'm shallow and a whiner but it's a real pain
And it's catch 22 to be in it
I want to escape but can't find the resources to begin it
nothing to write about nothing to sing
nothing to build on don't have anything
that's so untrue but the box steals my breath
and it's so hard in here not to dwell on death

what

2.1813 : 4/20/10 : Needle

There's only one needle: it's a diamond tip
There's only one vein: rests in a vinyl grip
heard about your junkies
and the hypoderm
there's no spot in my lexicon
for such a term
There's only one needle: it's a diamond tip
There's only one vein: rests in a vinyl grip
drop it every hour, always throwing
the tech is obsolete but it just keeps going
There's only one needle: it's a diamond tip
There's only one vein: rests in a vinyl grip
a vinyl valley, an exquisite groove
been around so long there's nothing left to prove
Just the only needle, the diamond tip
resting so delicious in its vinyl grip

what

2.1812 : 4/19/10 : Fried Egg Chili Chutney Sammie

Fried egg chili chutney sammie
and if you get the reference
hey you're my man, see
thanks for the memories
all you who remember
Some April, some May
Some July some December
there's a perfectly reasonable
explanation for everything
and if I can just recall
well then how I'll sing
I feel satisfied
I'll suffer later
take a nap then
and hell with the haters
and leave it like that
just let me take one last square
from my silly hat

what

2.1811 : 4/18/10 : Wondering

If I can't figure out the math
and I know I can't
if you're the great space station
to my tiny little ant
then if I could just ask for
one thing today
would you please make
all of this wondering go away
I don't believe in it at all
I know it's all wasted thought
I better just feel lucky
pray to keep what I've got
between the rising sun in space
and the great sea thundering
I don't see why I can't just
give up all this wondering
tell me it's all for a reason
tell me you've got a plan
Why bother trying to grasp
the greatest greater than

what

2.1810 : 4/17/10 : Doing Right

Doing right
but I still don't
feel like I'm winning
not enough
this rope I'm hanging on
is thinning
get through this
get through that
just more comes down
and I guess
it's time to give up
on this ghost town

what

2.1809 : 4/16/10 : Situation

Asked to choose fame and fortune
or the world's salvation
well nobody believe's that's possible
it's a bad situation
and the whole ball of wax is just fantasy time
my usual grandiose dreams
I've got my little row to hoe
while I pick over my hopeless schemes
how many years how many years gone past
since I thought I saw I though I saw the wave
and just when I decide to give it all away
I look around and can't find one thing to save
the world doesn't want it, people don't want it
and I don't have it so really what the hell?
It's a strange world coming and I'm in it up to here
just another dupe with no principles to sell

what

2.1808 : 4/15/10 : Enough Again

Maybe tomorrow
maybe
tomorrow and tomorrow and
tomorrow
but today I've had
enough again
and more to come
and no master plan
maybe no plan at all
no original fall
only luck no direction
So I think in my dejection
maybe tomorrow
the big big deal
the more than enough for once
the advent of Is Real

what

2.1807 : 4/14/10 : For Old TImes' Sake

For old times' sake
I'll fly old colors
nothing of strength
nothing of valor
could be harder
but that's no comfort
gotta be strong soon
and defend the old fort

what

2.1806 : 4/13/10 : Pull

Something flapping madly in the skull
something tapping in the chest
and a furious pull
No vessel to delivery this
angry rant
no cleric to receive this
disappointed chant
But if I don't spill it out
pull the plug somehow I'll spout
it scalding on the wrong wrong
person
How I wish there were
a handy devilish cur
here to get my curse on
I get nothing but
22 grey lines on a page
and seven minutes while I
Sit and feel my body age
and can't even use up what I've got
nothing to do but pull out and leave it to rot

what

2.1805 : 4/12/10 : You Call This a Mission

Maybe I was unclear
I wasn't on a hunt for more bad luck
I wasn't looking for another chain to bolt on
If fact I was hoping to get unstuck
You call this a mission?
Is this your sense of humor
I don't think I like you so much anymore
not sure I want to be your consumer
You call this a mission
you call this a mission
I'd be better off burning trees
and vegetating on the television
you call this a mission
well I've got a new deal
stay out of my damn way
what you won't give I'll steal

what

2.1804 : 4/11/10 : Middle

What in the world to call a story
that begins and begins
always waiting for a middle
for a mission for my sins
I trust the end to care for itself
strange as that might seem
but this restless churning of beginning
cracks me like a fever dream
and a the moment of decision
once again I jumped the gun
but I will not agonize
it could occur to anyone

what

2.1803 : 4/10/10 : Gut

Hey the next remark
comes down to the gut
are you confused?
focus: eh, what?
cultivate a crop
harvest at the right time
if you want it, age it:
this time's dime
not this year, perhaps
the next
if you are confused, perplexed
look back
and remember
the next chance
will be NEXT
December

what

2.1802 : 4/9/10 : Dumb

Feeling so dumb as moronic vice
tries to suck me in
if I've paid that piper twice
I've paid him ten
resistance so half hearted
it will be a miracle
If I net one step past the place I started
the zero empirical
tired of feeling like there's two
of me stuffed in here
and though I shouldn't rely on you
it makes my path less clear
to be up late here on my own
to wrestle with ideas
whose dark sides seem to have daily grown
and never ever free us

what

2.1801 : 4/8/10 : Offense

Taking offense too easily
by people suffering far more than fools like me
and then again is it so hard just not to be vile
but I'm sick, my meter's off, I've lost my style
a good offense, a big stick, better a gun
I feel it getting personal, but you're not anyone
to me, a stranger
sad facts thin, strung on a long line
and me with bigger fish to fry, humping up this incline
So leave it unresolved and sitting on the fence
and if I never glance your way again
please do not take offense

what

2.1800 : 4/7/10 : No Credit

No credit for you
this is all me
no reflection on me
I'm not strong or mighty
I guess I'll follow through
on the promise so dull
and pray on my way down
something can breach our hull
but if it sinks or rises
no credit for you
you float way up there uninvolved
just like you always do

what

2.1799 : 4/6/10 : Decision Double Standard

You've got a nice double standard
when it comes to decisions
Well it's not just decisions
I suppose
I fail it means everything
succeed it means nothing
well I'm well acquainted
with these emperor's clothes
but failing doesn't fix it
it still isn't worth it
such a nice system
tails I lose
and it all ends the same
nobody wins the game
So why in the hell
do you force me to choose?

what

2.1798 : 4/5/10 : No Entrance

Less concerned with getting out
than finding some way in
whatever once seemed clear a while
is drowned out by the din
the noise of pain the clamor
of what shouldn't matter
what people I don't care about
will think about the dust I scatter
It isn't starting now
I feel it in my very bones
searching for something
that nobody sees and no one owns
wanting to be unique
look where it's got me so far
it isn't nothing but
by God it is a low bar

what

2.1797 : 4/4/10 : Up

Up indeed and try to cast
that anxious searching feeling off
ignore the mass of tentacles and eyes
that lingers with a polite cough
there is yours and here is mine
and truly never shall the two meet
I only hope we can be cordial
when passing on a dark street
they say it's all going underwater
they say the desert is on the rise
they say the comet could hit any time
sneak around Jupiter, catch us by surprise
they say the radicals will have a nuke soon
they're gonna blow our asses up
and you say nothing, pointedly eyeing
my grim half finished cup

what

2.1796 : 4/3/10 : Little Kite

Hey flimsy little kite
made of cheap flimsy stuff
still flies with all its might
hangs tight on winds so rough
you will not last too long
you will get smashed apart
if you were only strong
made with a stout heart
hey little kite up there
don't you know you will crash
don't get used to the air
so soon you'll just be trash
little kite cannot hear
flies up there anyway
and though its end is really near
acts like it's way up there to stay

what

2.1795 : 4/2/10 : Good Friday

Radical this and radial that
everyone thinks he as a real great cat
Every Good Friday I say my piece
and pray vainly for my fortunes to increase
ugly pictures of ugly things
that point in the night where the truth stings
maybe it was all crazy just mistakes
maybe all a waste but them's the breaks
but I'll pass these days
and more will come
and it'll make a little sense
not all
but some

what

2.1794 : 4/1/10 : 3 Ice Cubes

3 ice cubes can
define a moment
broken promises
a glorious foment
the most important time
I describe the final rhyme

what

2.1793 : 3/31/10 : Chaos

Chaos reigns in the small hours
chaos reigns in the ivory towers
I dream of an idea that transcends
in a crazy universe where nothing ends
make your movie make your novel
it won't mean much in this hovel
I dream of a day free of obligation
but I don't pretend, I've learned my station
whatever has been sent in the past
tomorrow's open, empty, ho, avast
I'll translate it when the moment comes
I won't remember the context or the sums
that add up to a final reckoning
and I hear the wild calling beckoning

what

2.1792 : 3/30/10 : No More

No more
done
I'm not
the one
it is not
here
it will not
appear
I've had
enough
I've had
it tough
it isn't
great
but consider
my state

what

2.1791 : 3/29/10 : Apropos

It would seem to be apropos
that despite knowing exactly where to go
I keep pointing my nose at
where not to
as if by some compulsion
I've got to

what

2.1790 : 3/28/10 : Affect/Effect

No affect: no effect
one last time
this defect
one last time listen to me
if it wasn't so typical
it might be funny
I get a little bit
of my affect back
I need a little bit
of weight off my pack
I can't sustain one more
failed pass
guess I better pray hard
for you to save my ass

what

2.1789 : 3/27/10 : Vile World

Excuse my belief
in this vile world
it is unjustified
beyond reason
I try as I might
for what it's worth
to fix what I can
in its season
I know you're frustrated
I know how it looks
and I can't show you
and you can't see
I've nothing to say
no excuses here
I do as I must
so secretly

what

2.1788 : 3/26/10 : The Path

Irritated by the path I'm set on
dreaming of some other train to get on
knowing it's a dream and a sham
How long can I keep falling for my own scam
I just want to feel it in my bones
And make it happen but I don't have the stones
Am I willing to scratch and beg?
to get the goose to lay a golden egg
If I tried to map the path out would I get it
Maybe it all happened and I chose to forget it

what

2.1787 : 3/25/10 : End of Lent

The end of lent
end of the fast
I didn't really stick to
whatever: that moment passed
and here comes another
early as it can be
a week to holy Thursday
The final commandment:
Thou shalt be
I haven't got a sum up point
a final online slide
I'm making it up as I go along
I'm taking the dividend
out of my hide
So easy to spin out the verse
so so hard to claim it
I've got another
habit to attend
then I'll come back and
tame it

what

2.1786 : 3/24/10 : Early Start

Let's get an early early start
on this new deal
All you've got to have is heart
all you have to do is feel
In the middle of the night
I will be peaceful, gone
And while I'm still out of sight
you will hear my song
singing la la la la
la la la
la la la la la
One morning can't make it
not a month and a week
if you're really going to break it
at its terrible peak
It will be a game of ages
of years and years
hope I store up enough pages
for when it crashes 'round my ears

what

2.1785 : 3/23/10 : Close Out

Close out to get this
messed up funk
now get it if
you dig this junk
tomorrow allow
stock will change
will turn completely
rearrange
can't be this one
can't be that
can't seem to find
a well fitting hat
still the picture I saw
was clear as a bell
I've got a heavy damn bag
of flowers to smell

what

2.1784 : 3/22/10 : Windmills

Quixote wasn't fighting the power
or speaking truth to the man
fighting inanimate objects
Is not such an impressive plan
Maybe I will learn this time
to really set down the lance
to really stop tilting the windmills
to really join the real dance

what

2.1783 : 3/21/10 : Hit It

The target's small so is the ball
I can't seem to win my baby
anything at all
I can't hit it, hit it
Why won't I quit it?
Screw the ball and give me a bat
and I will hit that
that carnie's staring at me
with his big ass bear
I think I'd like to set fire to his greased up hair
I can't hit it, hit it
why wont' I quit it?
screw the ball and give me a bat
and I will hit that

what

2.1782 : 3/20/10 : Stupid Windmills

Stupid windmills just won't come down
a good attitude makes no difference
Whether I believe or not doesn't mean a damn thing
either way out thing down here won't make sense
either way everyone still thinks they're right
everybody's got an answer but me
arguing with everyone who isn't there at all
and why to really bother is a mystery
why to really bother that's a slippery slope
whatever you believe or adhere to
Once upon a time it was so damn simple
all I really wanted was to get near you
Stupid windmills go ahead loom over me
Just another thing that's way beyond my scale
how dumb I used to think I had it all in hand
throw that one on the big heap
for the
fire sale

what

2.1781 : 3/19/10 : Turning In

At the moment of humiliation
I see your eyes turning in
Going into a secret place of shame
the end of a road you chose to begin
I'd like five minutes with the guy
that put you in that position
the self-indulgent myth of equity in blows
at least it would be a mission
I can't help anyone so I'm turning in
sorry to whoever across the trackless gulf
I'll pray you aren't consumed by self-hate
and manage to dodge the next wolf

what

2.1780 : 3/18/10 : The Wall

No getting over it
it goes to the top
no digging under
it's a hell of a drop
if you punch through the floor
needless to say
there's no door
it is there to stop you
the wall without break
and it stretches 'round the world
and Lord know what's at stake

what

2.1779 : 3/17/10 : Counterfeits

Comparing fine distinctions
between competing counterfeits
and getting stuck in gloomtown
and hoo the place is the pits
I tell myself the same thing everyday
hard to believe but the alternative's worse
left thinking nothing will ever change
that it is fate or a kind of curse
the rhythm isn't right but I'm stuck with it
at least for a few more lines
I ain't no kind of pretty jungle boy
swinging in on any vines
How can I believe this is the real one
and not some stupid counterfeit
How can I be sure what's happened so far
When you get right down to it

what

2.1778 : 3/16/10 : Not Following the Rules

Letting stupid imaginary
people rile me up
sip sip sipping nervously
on the overflowing cup
not following the rules
not sticking to the chart
and carefully avoiding
every impulse to start
it's year after year now
after week after week
don't know what rollercoaster
I'm waiting to peak
taking on water
gladly suffering fools
playing dumb and slow
and not following the rules

what

2.1777 : 3/15/10 : A Digest

Let it be what it is
a digest of missed chances
or some example of
some second fiddle dances
I get these big ideas
then the nights get so late
and I wouldn't have come through
anyway
and so soon flows the hate
If you couldn't make me good enough
at least you could have
made me less smart
Shown me less
given me less heart
this digest is depressing me
and now it's there forever
laugh at me using that word
for this forced little
endeavor

what

2.1776 : 3/14/10 : Will I Remember

Heaven forbid I be back here again
It would be a grim shock a mortal sin
One last wilding
Over and out
a night or two
with K and stout
will I remember
will it matter
will I make this
glass ceiling shatter
Can't tell now
story's not begun
get on with it
at rising sun

what

2.1775 : 3/13/10 : Push to Close

Get in the middle
and push to close it
the break been and gone
the snap that froze it
it ain't much but
it just keeps coming
someone else keeps strumming
as I push to close the case
and close the book
be done but still
not off the hook

what

2.1774 : 3/12/10 : Run Up

Run up run down
push it all and all around
Far behind another day
close enough to plug and play
not so thrilled but
getting there
see all the excuses
Laid bare
waiting for the time to run up
hope I'm dead asleep come sun-up

what

2.1773 : 3/11/10 : Runway

Drop all your New York references
you were in Georgia just a month ago
Look at this robot with bad alchemy
Look down the runway watch the 15 minutes blow
Dear Lord preserve me from ending up on the runway
well you've done great at that so far
too old too short too fat
too inflexible to bend for any bar
when it gets harder than pulling someone else's teeth
You have to wonder why keep pushing
no reward and the product is unpleasing
and always this feeling something's crushing
probably making something simple complicated
could wrap it up in a New York minute
I can't be happy with succeeding every day
Pretty typical of me now innit

what

2.1772 : 3/10/10 : The Paradox

This live in the moment paradox
can't it just be an excuse for every bad thing
I guess you turn up with what you've got
but then does the principle mean anything
no matter how I play it will it be wrong
and nothing will really change
hearing the pathology recite that song
guess it's been too long since I felt the real exchange
I need another method very badly
I need a path I can make sense of
I need it obvious need one upside the chops
struck hard and straight with a dense glove
All kind soft things you think you understand
turn out to be all inside out
And the paradox face sure sure draws you in
but behind it's just a yawning pit of doubt

what