424 : 6/8/99 : Things Got Strange

It wasn’t anything organized
It came right outta thin air
Fifty thousand strong it blossomed
From hither you and nowhere
Somebody put mescaline in Congress’ water supply
Some of them thought they saw Jesus, some of them
thought they would die
And then things got strange
Do you remember the blitz
of email messages and crazy cartoons
Everybody picked up a little spare power
sifted a little gold outta the ruins
Somebody hacked the big computer’s
motherboard
I’ll never forget the day every cash
machine went out of its gourd
And then things got strange
When all the ecstasy showed up on the street
And everyone’s radio blew the same beat
Someone hacked the satellite from underground
And at eleven fifty one thousand
nine hundred ninety nine they uplinked
the New Sound...
And then things got strange

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

423 : 6/7/99 : The Afterlife

I hope to God there’s another world past this one
I hope to God I hope to God there is
I ponder every point of view but always feel I missed one
I just hope there’s something more than this
I’d like to believe that there’s something for me and you
Past this veil of tears and heartache and bitter strife
Oh God could you bring just bring a sign it might be true
I want so very much to believe in the afterlife
In teevee and in movies the good guys always win
but out here the winners are the ones who make us lose
I’m so tired of waiting for my real life to begin
I’m so tired of waiting in this line I didn’t choose
Whatever’s out there out beyond this crazy game
Whatever happens when our bodies set us free
I just keep hoping it’s not more of the same
But I guess that that what will be will be will be

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

422 : 6/6/99 : The Battle of the Bulge

These are the rag men; jaws slack eyes hollow as hell
(I could not have fought in the Battle of the Bulge)
I can only hear the stories that the old men tell
I can only listen to the horrors the old men divulge
They say two thousand died a day the lucky ones
These then are the hollow men who fought for reasons
Who lived and mostly died from disease or bombs or guns
who knows who refused and yet we call their actions treasons
No one has the right we all usurp to create history
Someone steals the right and forces us to go along
Forces us to see to face the bloody evil mystery
Fills men’s minds with memories that never will be gone
Evil’s always pushing out somewhere in this world
Another bulge that someone must push down
Rearing like the serpent’s head around the whole earth curled
Seems like more evil’s the only way to regain that ground
I wish I had a mighty army of the hollow men
Guess they’re mostly dead but still I wish it so bad
Wish I had an army brought down from heaven
Only they could explain how badly we’ve been had

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

421 : 6/5/99 : Fatigue

On the grim outer rim of fatigue
I keep searching for the answers
Questions that seem so far out of my league
and grow in my mind like cancers
I’ve been searching for such a long time
A search leading to nothing but wall after wall
I’ve searched in reason I’ve searched in rhyme
I’ve run until I had to walk
I’ve walked until I had to crawl
I’m so tired of self-reference
I’m too dull for all this trouble
I’m tired of striving without recompense
For every certainty the uncertainty is double
I’m so tired I could fall right over
and sleep forever like the dead
be absorbed and push up clover
just to be free from what’s in my head
I’m so tired and it’s more than half
of what’s wrong
But the questions are there nonetheless
I got no choice but to write my little song
What it’s good for is anybody’s guess

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

420 : 6/4/99 : Back in the Saddle

I’m back in the saddle again
I tell you friend
sometimes it doesn’t seem like
I’m making much progress
I guess it all must work out in the end
I’m back up on that horse
A little worse for wear of course
Every day I stick to my guns
a little bit tired my voice a little bit hoarse
I made a special vow
to show everybody how
no matter how much
we piss and moan
The curtain comes down we all take a bow
we all bow out in the long run
Sometimes when we think we’ve just begun
And it’s irony sure
the cosmic quip
We all end up silent in the said and done

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

419 : 6/3/99 : A Confession

I’m sick of writing songs today
It’s a confession I’m sad to say
Has been a long time coming
So sick of the rhyming and tapping and humming
The obsessive delineation of verse
so it all gets cryptic vague and terse
All day I act calm and deferential
While my art gets steadily more self-referential
But I guess I’ll push through another dawn
seems like all I’ve ever learned to do is push on

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

418 : 6/2/99 : Still Too Far

Almost there but still too far
writing songs on the phone
Singing all day in the train car
Trying trying always
Dying for a feeling
Oh Lord one of these days
Are you gonna call me up
are you gonna fill up my cup
Till it flows over
into the endless fields of clover
Almost almost there
But still too far

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

417 : 6/1/99 : Hard Sell

1,490 : 17 ?


I’m sick of the hard sell
From men who own it all anyway
From the forest to the city to the bay
They set the clocks they ring the bell
So why’s it so important
To make me decide to do what they want
Why this illusion this stunt
Maybe they can reason it out I sure can’t
Maybe they can’t abide to see the truth in their lies
Constantly spewing from the magic box
Knock back what rolls and stop what rocks
All to pretend the they still got light in their eyes
I’ve had enough of the hard sell
I’m closing my door in their face
I’ll pay to put myself in place
And I won’t ever tell
They held the secret to my escape
I just listened and heard what they said
Then did the opposite thing instead
Look up it’s me the one in the mask and cape

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

416 : 5/31/99 : Fell Apart

Well it all fell apart on me
When I wasn’t looking sir
And it could happen to you
It could happen to you sure
No man is immune to bad luck
No man is so humble he avoids every fall
And if you don’t think it could happen to you
Sir you don’t know life at all

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

415 : 5/30/99 : Brilliant Cycle

I can see the way it all spins around
me and you or anyone
The moon the stars the surfs that pound
This brilliant cycle in the sun
And I cannot complain I’ve got my daily bread
And I cannot deny the truth of what she said
It all happens for a reason
East and west and north and south
And every searcher finds a season
The wisdom out of a a baby’s mouth
the truth is written for anyone to know
It’s written in the heavens and written down bel
This brilliant cycle spins
It cannot stop it’s perpetual motion
Nothing ever ceases nothing begins
Just you just me just one big ocean
There’s a road that runs around the whole way
we’re all on it always everyday

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

414 : 5/29/99 : Meal of Wurms

Take what I get you can bet it’s
just what I deserve
just what I’ve got coming to me
come as I am just a lamb for
the slaughterhouse
never had the answer never had the key
Pain it’s all right no not quite what
I thought was coming
Guess that I just didn’t think it through
Try, come to terms, meal of wurms on
my dinnerplate
It’s enough to get me through a another night
And just the same if my name is
unfamiliar to you
Ah it’s just because my future’s not so bright

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

413 : 5/28/99 : Birthday Song

You see things just the way you want to
Black or white, ugly or fair
What you seek it surely comes to you
Nobody knows from where
Ain’t that just the way... Ain’t that just the way
Looks like it’s your birthday, this must be your birthday song
I see everything as bad or good
Even though I know that it’s not true
I get so tangled up with what I should
When the hammer comes down I just don’t have a clue
Ain’t that just the way... Ain’t that just the way
Looks like it’s your birthday, just another birthday gone
One year leads into another
one year passes like the next
I heard about these games from my brother
I heard about the way a man gets vexed
Ain’t that just the way...
Ain’t that just the way
You celebrate a birthday
Sound just like a birthday song
Ain’t that just the way
Ain’t that just the way

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

412 : 5/27/99 : Tiny Song

He said I can’t really see myself doing it
I guess I’ll just look at this one again
Well we just keep tryin’
We just keep screwing it

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

411 : 5/26/99 : Dull Song

1,484 : 11 ?


I got up today and took a shower
brushed my teeth and headed for the street
I got no time to smell a flower
I got no time for anyone I might meet
I got on a bus to take me downtown
Didn’t spend much time looking left or right
Nothing much to see on my way down
And the same in reverse going back tonight
I sat behind a desk and made my contribution
to society with my time
It’s hard to say if I’m part of the solution
It’s hard to tell a good deed from a crime
I rolled back home just the way I came
A dull day a song already sung
Who’s to judge how we fare in the big game
We who are neither old nor young

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

410 : 5/25/99 : Day by Day

Day after day I write what I find to say
Trying not to get too far ahead
Day after day I reap what I sew
Even though I know I’ll have to sleep in that bed
Night after night I wait for a sight
A vision to lead me higher
Every day’s struggle ends in restless sleep
Every night I slip under the wire
Day by day you gotta take it that way
‘Cause that’s the only way it comes
I take what I can and move along
Obey the strong and accept my crumbs

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

409 : 5/24/99 : Vegas

Her and me got married in Vegas
we said third time gotta be a charm
why does it seem that the wages
of letting go’s always doing somebody harm
we rolled back to Ohio
And tried to make it down on the farm
With a pig pig here e-i-e-i o
Now nothing’s left of Vegas but a rusted lucky charm
There’s places it’s fast and places it’s slow
But no matter where it’s there you are
In my dreams there’s a place I can never go
You can’t get to that Las Vegas in a car
Where all the tables heat up when I’m around
And all the wedding vows last forever
In my dreams I hear that jackpot sound
As my baby pulls down every lever

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

408 : 5/23/99 : Verges

On the verges I always feel
like I’m hanging there alone
All thee usual abysses
All the chances overflown
Everything’s always
about to start
Everything’s always on hold
Somebody always gets there first
Somebody always gets left out
in the cold
I’ve got an urge for verges
I got a bad yen for confrontation
I’ve got a way for all of us
to get up out from under
All we gotta do is dream about it
all we gotta do is wonder

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

407 : 5/22/99 : Wind Down

Does it all wind up just to wind down
is that the big secret after all
does the universe expand to contract
does everything rise just to fall
What am I waiting for anyway
at this point it’s just another night
that passes like a slow storm front
there’s nothing at all in it to fight
Kingdom Come is calling my name
all the angels heard on high
the whisper of illumination
fading like the long goodbye
Fading into contemplation
of the oceans of my youth
all the memories that drowned
the ocean as the final truth
Someday at the gates of Glory
I’ll find out how much that I recall
I’ll find out if the wind down
Just starts another wind up
after all

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Currency

With the dates of the posted songs so close to an even decade ago I decided to experiment with trying to keep the postings current for a while. Seeing as how I haven't posted anything in over a month maybe the title of this post should be overcompensation, but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained. In my experience also, generally, something ventured, nothing gained, but who's counting. Wow, I'm in a really vicious, cynical frame of mind today. Anyway. Since I'm not willing to have this thing rule my life I'll necessarily have to break with my former convention and post more than one song some days when I miss a day or, uh, thirty. I guess. If I get too far behind I suppose I'll likely to abandon the effort. Maybe it will spur me to keep it up a little better. Or not. The meaninglessness of failure is merely one of the thrilling rewards of utter unimportance.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

406 : 5/21/99 : Minimal Architecture

Given only the minimal architecture
of conformity
Of ignorance prejudice selfishness
and always anonymity
Look what you’ve made
me do now
Look what you’ve gone and
made me do now
It doesn’t take much to
rock this boat
And your complacent platitudes
stick in my throat
Look, see what we’ve
done now
See what we had to go
and do now

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

405 : 5/20/99 : Country Living

1,450 : 1 ?


I can’t wait until my ship comes in
I can’t wait for the day that I am free
to move out of this city
And get me to a place where I can just be
Country Living, oh boy! That’s the life for me
Oh Country Living it’s the only place I wanna be
Oh you can take the boy from the country
You can put him down in any bad old town
You can show him all the glitter and the flashing lights
but you just can’t keep the country down
Country Living, oh boy! That’s the life for me
Oh Country Living it’s the only place I wanna be
I seen enough of this city life
And all the fine people in their diamonds and pearls
I seen plenty of money for one lifetime
I don’t want nothing with these city girls
Country living that’s the only life for you and me
You’ll be my country girl the day I get free

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

404 : 5/19/99 : Pentagon Files (Day of Inception)

After all the stones we laid down
are torn asunder
long after every one of us
is buried deep down under
they will mine what's left of our files
and wonder
at the foolish lives we used to lead
They won't care about our spreadsheets
or the way the market fared
They will only wonder how so few
stories and songs were spared
Won't it be a sad
commentary on the lives we shared
huddled in the shadow of the
Pentagon Files

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

403 : 5/18/99 : Salvia Divinorum

Salvia divinorum
Why must I strain the bounds of decorum
Always seeking higher wisdom
following my dim light
The tricks of the ancient sages sure
That’s very funny but the page is a blur
as tears of recognition
once again blind my insight
Will you show me
the bastards that control me
or guardians to lead me
to the surer path
Will I see the paradox
wrapped in an enigma box
will I lose it all again
like always in the aftermath

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

402 : 5/17/99 : Nothin’ Quite So Funny as a Fork in the Road (The Inertia Machine 36/36)

Ain’t nothin’ quite so funny as a
fork in the road baby
Look at the decisions we made so far
Sometimes it’s hard to see
I know that, maybe
You’d see a little better if you got out of the car
It’s not a suggestion
It’s exactly what it sounds like
This is not a dagger in my hand
Get out of the car
Get on the fuckin’ bike
Pedal your poor ass across this sorry land
Download from the truth machine
reveals that what the magazine
You read in Doctor Deathwatch’s office said
is true
We’re driving ourselves to death
Every mile is one less breath
I guess it’s up to you asshole
to figure out what to do

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

401 : 5/16/99 : The Nothing Box (The Inertia Machine 35/36)

Being implies nonbeing implied
all the usual philosophy tricks were applied
as usual
A vessel was created out of
wasted time to contain the order
that disperses without reason
or rhyme transcausal
The ancients of days long gone
spoke of it in image and song It
had been gone a long long time
so they say
But all who are illuminated
agree that the nothing box
was created agree and have stated
It will be found and opened
some unlucky day

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

400 : 5/15/99 : Seventh Highway (The Inertia Machine 34/36)

1,443 : 3 ?


When will I ride on the seventh highway
the one that stretches on and on, eternal
When will the high road appear before me
What will the I write on the last page of the journal
Are you listening way up on high
are you watching as I write through the pain
We need some maps down here the road we seek is missing
when will I find my way home again
Highway 61, Stanyan Street and Mullholland
Babylon and Ting and the Moonlight Mile
I’ve known so many roads and heard of more
The highway is our destiny our testament and trial
Lord won’t you take the wheel from me
And steer me to the proper exit ramp
steer me onto the seventh highway
Or maybe just leave me a lighted lamp
And I won’t hide it underneath my bed
I won’t let the Devil snuff it out
Otherwise I’ll search the highways in the dark
otherwise I guess I’ll have to tough it out

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

399 : 5/14/99 : Angel (The Inertia Machine 33/36)

1,436 : 1 ?


When my skull is splitting trying to wrap my head
around the math
I like to talk to my friend Dan about the Buddha path
A different sort of wisdom from the kind I got at home
New perplexing riddles from a different dusty tome
Daniel help me figure out the thoughts that paralyze
Is my kitty going to go to heaven when he dies?
I know it seems a small thing in a world of world-class doubt
But angel kitties are the only thing I think about
Is my kitty sentient does my kitty have a plan
Is he how I think of him a furry little man
Does he have a conscience are there thoughts behind his golden eyes
Daniel is my kitty going to heaven when he dies?

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

398 : 5/13/99 : Inauspicious (The Inertia Machine 32/36)

Does it seem to you my friend
we have chosen an inauspicious
moment to arrive? We have a hard
time communicating with such
a badly organized beehive.
Even so we’re here to stay
this unlucky day marks our
disembarking. We have to say we
like it here okay, your technology
is harmless and your solar system
has easy parking. Well it’s never
much of a day the losers say
for colonization. You’ve got
little cause to complain you’ve used
the same argument, we think you
need more civilization

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

397 : 5/12/99 : The Flowers of Inertia (The Inertia Machine 31/36)

1,429 : 12 ?


The flowers of inertia
gunmetal petal unseen
from here to ancient Persia
It is written what will be has been
Nonetheless they grow
No surprises monstrous sizes they attain
With nothing to stop them on they go
Need no sunlight need no rain
Beware don’t smell that flower
Intoxicating it’s baiting you leading you astray
They designed it in the same secret tower
It’s designed to suck your color till you’re gray

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Transition

The last posting marks the completion of my blogging of Song of the Day volume 1.3, The Functional Notebook. I'll shortly begin blogging volume 1.4, Blank Book.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

396 : 5/11/99 : Perilous (The Inertia Machine 30/36)

We all walk a line a fine line
in this world it’s perilous
Devils and angels that are mine
It's quite a show it’s dangerous
Voices that whisper in my ear
I know the devil is me in disguise
I know I’m a devil in a bad year
The natives call me angel eyes
Talk to your left shoulder check your right
check your blind spot and check the boxes
Check to make sure you’re not in the line of site
they’ve got you set up to release the foxes
All the devils and angels around
Quite a crowd in the waiting room
I searched long but the evidence I found
was nothing but a tract that said boom, boom, boom

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

395 : 5/10/99 : Devils Inside (The Inertia Machine 29/36)

1,416 : 0 ?



Devils inside angels outside
never thought that I'd take this ride
through this hectic modern age
that strives so hard to write its own page
hammering against my noggin
so what if I'm just a cog in
some gig past my comprehension
cooked up in some high dimension
by the angels we presume
the cat stares at the corner of the room
And I assume that on some plane
I'd see them too if I'd just strain
my poor brain hard enough to pry
the devils' hands off from each eye
but until then I'll have to trust
if things can balance then they must

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

394 : 5/9/99 : Cardamom (The Inertia Machine 28/36)

There he sits the smooth talker
cracking cardamom seeds
A three piece jumped up gun
stocked with virtual recall and satellite feeds
tucked up somewhere back behind his jaw
ain’t he the coolest thing you ever saw
Hyped up tuned up glory my cup
runneth over packed with rhymes and reason
always the seductive argument
and comes in every color for the change of the season
the weave of his tie is hypnotic and he talks so good
‘bout all the things you want to do but don’t think that you should
Boy walk away if you see him
cracking jokes and seeds and tiny skulls
of the the tiny friends who tried to warn you
ain’t you sorry you never listened to their parables
you never take advice from anyone
don’t come crying to me when you run afoul of that gun

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

393 : 5/8/99 : The Worst Thing About the Devil 2 (The Inertia Machine 27/36)

The worst thing about the devil
he knows how to play the angles
he knows how to hide in the cracks
of situations that are moral tangles
He’s a tricky devil yes it’s true
Almost by definition
It makes my head spin
I just get by by intuition
You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

392 : 5/7/99 : Caravan (The Inertia Machine 26/36)

Dreaming of turquoise blue oceans and
shores of white sands, dreaming of destiny
Dreaming hand in hand
Drifting away on the wind of the fantastic
reality’s so plastic when you drift
oh the change so drastic
Eternal vacation dreaming by the sea
Is that what I call free, forever with nothing to do
Just you and me
Life’s not a day dream a bright shining jewel
it takes a sharp tool to dig it out
and the result is sometimes cruel
so we all dream all we can
with little plan of realizing
our dreamy little caravan

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

391 : 5/6/99 : Devils and Angels (The Inertia Machine 24/36)

1,409 : 4 ?


My devils and angels are cheek to jowl
I give up the ghost and let out a howl
Fight it out between yourselves; I’ll sit it out
I roll up the carpet and give out a shout
There’s an angel on my right, there’s a devil on my left
I see cherubim marching up the treble clef
I see them flying everywhere I see them in my sleep
My devils and my angels dear lord my soul to keep
I went to a shrink to knock my head down a size
I said I can’t distinguish between angel truths and devil lies
look me in my eyes doc and set me straight
is it the angels or the devils that keep me up so late
I’ll make it without therapy I’ll make it without pills
Even the valley of the shadow of death has its thrills
I am working my way upstream I am working my way back
I’m working with my devils and my angels on my back

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

390 : 5/5/99 : Engines of Paradox (The Inertia Machine 23/36)

Engines of paradox
are you gonna calculate
our asses out of the slings
we knocked ourselves into
Everybody talks
about how long they had to wait
in their fine fancy dresses and diamond rings
to get inside the clubs you been to
We worry about the stupid lies
We’re drawn to it like shit and flies
The equations the engine’s persuasions
can’t convince us
We’ll dance until the floor caves in
We’ve learned to hate life and crave sin
The engines’ persistence and quiet insistence
Is no evidence to us
Engines of paradox
are you gonna clarify
our sad history of failing
To work out our problems alone
Everybody always stalks
But the closer you get the air seems to rarify
And leaves you clutching the railing
trying to remember where you saw a telephone

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

389 : 5/4/99 : 4th (The Inertia Machine 22/36)

The fourth level of operations is transcausal
overall patterns emerge which are collated
In the level three cycle
of loop driven paradox engines
Most people have seen projections
of the results of these equations
but few truly comprehend that
what they are seeing is but a shadow
cast by an object that cannot be visualized
an eventuality
At the fourth level of operations
the indigents are unconcerned
with questions of metaphysics
or personal salvation
From the perspective of timelessness
their positions afford
they focus what can only be called minds
on the patterns that seem
always different but always
equally aligned

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Combo Breaker

I noted with chagrin this morning that I'd unthinkingly omitted to write a lyric yesterday, breaking my longest chain of continuous on-time songs since I started tracking continuity - 40. This is not a number that is very impressive to me, but it's hard to sustain an uninterrupted chain of attention and intent.

As opposed to the first project - the one you're reading now - there's no way in the new one to determine whether a song was written on its appointed day or later (I still don't permit working ahead, i.e. banking). Aside from a temporary, ongoing tally for the online status updates I don't keep a permanent record of the continuity figures either. Only the songs remain. I can't decide whether I think that's better or not or irrelevant.

The relevance of any aspect of it is of course arguable.

There are two ways songs get missed: yesterday I fully intended to write one in the evening and simply forgot somewhere along the way. Otherwise I skip it willfully. I feel like I do more of the latter since I stopped highlighting late songs. Sometimes I just decide that I want to relax or whatever and elect before the fact to not write one day, but usually it is a snap decision made in the duress of what I feel I need to accomplish as the day approaches its end. I guess a putative third scenario would be one where despite my best intent and attention I am detained beyond reasonable expectation - chained to a stone, perhaps, left for the eagles to pluck out my liver.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

388 : 5/3/99 : Palindrome (The Inertia Machine 22/36)

Only this, more nothing
everyday dealing with
what anyone can see
and moment by moment and
see, can anyone, what
with dealing everyday
nothing more, this only

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

387 : 5/2/99 : Chaosium (The Inertia Machine 21/36)

1,401 : 38 ?


Welcome back to the chaosium
Gee it’s like you’d never gone
Everything’s just as it was before
the truth seems stupider these days
guess it’s my old fashioned ways
I never knew I was such a prisoner
That’s an old story boy
Fate can make a man a toy
Fate can make a man renounce his creed
our works are wrapped around our wills
One man reaps what another tills
And the social bargain is fulfilled in another filthy deed
Welcome back to the chaosium hotel
Here are all the old friends you knew so well
Such a crew of ragtag rulers just like in the movies man
And if we want it all to change it can

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

386 : 5/1/99 : The Pill (The Inertia Machine 20/36)

Son you’re mentally ill won’t you please take the pill
I don’t know if I will I prefer where I am I prefer
things dark ma’am there’s no room here for glam
there’s no room now for big hair or train
tracks that go there or blue skies and clean air
He’s a star by his looks I’ve seen his kind in books
I know all his best hooks there’s nothing new
even among the best and he’s just like
all the rest his soul is half undressed by madness
on all sides bordered take it son please it’s just what
the doctor ordered I’d rather be drawn and
quartered take it don’t you know it’s for your good
can’t live if I have to wear that hood my eyes
cleared and I saw where I stood my eyes
looked back behind I saw the moon was
on my mind it hung there like a gnawed-at rind
it hangs around the way it will I watch it
clock and chart its fill until it shines a full round pill
with madness steaming in its gears I shut my
eyes and stop my ears I’m scared enough without
the moon’s fears scared enough to stick out my
tongue let them bust me down another rung
Let them blow the cork and pull the bung and
let it all come boiling out watch out it’ll
be a rout that leaves the strongest man with
little clout watch which pills I’m given
you think this is crazy you should see me when I’m
driven I thrive on forgotten and unforgiven
I drive on and go straight through here to
nowhere me to you the pill the poem and what is true

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

385 : 4/30/99 : Signs of Spring (The Inertia Machine 19/36)

You’d think I’d had enough of doom and damnation
You’d think that I’d be ready to relax the rules
But on and on I go this unsuccessful delineation
Of a perfect system of government for fools
Think about wouldn’t you think a clever kid like me
Would finally figure out the scales are permanently bent
Sometimes the chips fall against you other times the ride is free
And when you’re on the skids it does no good to ask where your luck went
I find it hard to believe there’s a hidden meaning in the words I sing
I can’t believe I’m any closer than I was before
What mystification it must be a sign of spring
The way my luck went walking out the door
What does it mean it’s nothing a con job
Pay no attention do not ask about it
Just thinking about it makes the vessels in my temples throb
I want to climb the ziggurat and shout it
That the whole wide world is a maze of misperception
And you cannot lay your and on anything
And if you come around and find a cold reception
Well I guess it just must be the signs of spring

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

384 : 4/29/99 : Strife (The Inertia Machine 18/36)

Given as we were to faction
Given as we were to strife
we found we couldn't pry ourselves
away from all this modern life
Given as we were to dispute
always cutting out our neighbor
we found competition didn't
really optimize our labor
There's always disagreement
Some good reason we can't get along
and you're a bigger fool than I thought
if you think the answer's in a song
Given a fine chance to save the world
we found we can only reflect what we are
disaffected striving blindly
Darkly crossed by some dark star

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

383 : 4/28/99 : Cataract (The Inertia Machine 17/36)

Where is the cataract in my eye
the void that is blocking my vision
between what is perceived to be
and what we hope for and what
it seems could be, there
is the cataract in the
impulse of moments
in a flash of inattention
in the sly assumption of some
universal principle of slack
The gap yawns open and
society falls through the
cracks again

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

382 : 4/27/99 : Parthenon Blues (The Inertia Machine 16/36)

1,394 : 31 ?


In the beginning they say
there was one mind one being
The meaning of the division
or separation, or
creation of the many
minds is shrouded in mystery
Lord, it’s not so easy to
know anymore
I wish I was back at the Parthenon
when abstraction had not gotten so far along
Lord there’s just not enough mind
to go around these days
I’m dying for the valleys of my youth
when we stood in the shade of the
fine things we’d made when
the music of the spheres was clearer
I guess if they had the option
they’d take a turn in my shoes
But there’s no trading places this
turn round oh it gives me the Parthenon Blues

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

381 : 4/26/99 : The Chaos (The Inertia Machine 15/36)

The Chaos, this pervasive static
cannot completely disguise
The patterns of an underlying meaning
from forming before my eyes
The chaos they say was introduced
by a virus into the system’s core
No one knows whether God or man made it
we just know it wasn’t there before
Under the lens an image coalesces
Like smoke turning to words in the air
Spells out a signal from the heart of darkness
That spins at the center of the Spidergod’s lair
Where do all the useful moments go?
What further process does entropy’s engine drive
They all wind up in heaven you know
Almost nobody gets there alive
I just can’t imagine things being any worse than they are
and if I’m to fall apart that isn’t any great loss
even universes go to pieces by and by
and all around it all dissolves in the Chaos

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

380 : 4/25/99 : The Theory (The Inertia Machine 14/36)

So the theory goes
Each life each mind each moment
is encoded is embedded
is infinitely present in the universal structure
in the fabric of time
so the theory goes
beyond life beyond mind beyond the moment
that is all we can receive
we will all rise again
we will all exist
or to put it another way
we will have already existed
we will all be together
we will all be present
so the theory goes
but proposes no suggestion
of the nature of the being
we shall become

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

379 : 4/24/99 : The Disagreement (The Inertia Machine 13/36)

The disagreement involved a resolution by the
committee to establish a fixed frame of cardinal
directions to be used for the organized division
of known space into a theoretical grid.
It was agreed unanimously that the benefits
of a fixed frame of reference would be
profound in ecumenical studies of astronomy,
temporal logistics, naturally in space exploration.
The disagreement occurred over which direction
was to be deemed “up.” There was a surprising
diversity of opinions on the subject. It was
astonishing how vehemently each participant
held to the particular set of barely
articulated assumptions and cultural
prejudices that gave rise to
a specific definition of up. The entire
project threatened to founder the first
day, before a single point was
triangulated. Fortunately, an older
scholar of spiritual texts, who was there
mainly for the luncheon, suggested they
simply make a new system of measurements -
new cardinal points, new axis coordinates -
and assign them randomly. “Each of
us,” he said, “will in the inmost heart
know which way is truly up.”

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

378 : 4/23/99 : Bubblegum Royale (The Inertia Machine 12/36)

1,388 : 25 ?




Isn't it all bright and shining
Isn't it all sharp
Isn't it all precious with the
strumming of the harp
Look at all the fine deceptions
marvel at the sound
Build the better sucker trap
and watch the path they pound
Watch the way they track the next fix
watch them start to drool
Watch the slack-jawed yokels
watch this century's best power tool
All wrapped in an acid treat
your Bubblegum Royale
Your narcissistic, solipsistic
pablum puking pal

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

377 : 4/22/99 : Stupid Pills (The Inertia Machine 11/36)

Honey did you forget to take your stupid pills today
no no not at all first thing in the morning JUST AS
THE DOCTOR PRESCRIBED if i were to forget to
take my pills I should be disturbed by the thoughts
again fearful wondering why I do what I do
why the work I am given seems to bear no
relationship to anything that is real or important
to me NO not at all I took them first
thing and a comfortable cloud of numb
indifference settled around my head
like quick dry cement the cement
of THIS MODERN AGE don’t forget
every day you too missus two
pills every morning keeps away
the NEGATIVE thoughts and terrible
feelings of helplessness JUST LIKE
THE DOCTOR PRESCRIBED available
in convenient jumbo dispensers
lest you forget stupid pills
are the universal anodyne
to the crushing weight of
being.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

376 : 4/21/99 : Blow Your Mind (The Inertia Machine 10/36)

Deep in the trenches of lost Atlantis
a hollow metal sphere
encloses all that was preserved
from the water
The seeds the vestiges of life
that would be lost in the disaster
All the would be lost was preserved
frozen in the sphere
the processes of time were halted
But nature abhors every kind of vacuum
and in this vacuum of time
a strange mold flowered
a glowing blue powder
coated every surface
it’s said that ingesting the smallest
part of the powder
Would blow your mind

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

RPM Challenge Mark II

I decided, after skipping a year, to undertake the RPM Challenge for the second time this year, the annual internet based project inviting musicians and bands to complete a full album from scratch in one month. I posted about my first time around with the project here and here.

There are still copies of this album extant if you feel you have the moral strength of character to endure it. In the latter post there I linked to my music submissions page on Metafilter: there's a little player box at the top of the list of posts. The songs Defeat, Eccentric, Only Civilization and Heat are all from my first RPM album, but I warn you, they aren't exactly pleasant to listen to, created as they were by a method that guaranteed results in terms of getting tracks recorded, but only by sheer stubbornness. The music is being generated more or less randomly by a computer and I am singing to it more or less without rehearsal. Rough stuff. I liked the lyrics I wrote for it, though, I feel like several of them deserve better music. So far this month the writing is going so so, I keep hoping something will gel. But as before, I'll get something down that satisfies the conditions of the challenge, come hell or high water. Honestly if hell or high water actually came I would probably just chuck it.

My RPM profile page is here, its got the archive stuff from 2007 too. I'm going to try to coax slightly more tuneful accompaniment from my newly acquired KORG DS-10 synth emulator. There's an audio file of me dinking around with that on the RPM profile page. If you're not partial to dentist drills you may want to skip the last 30 seconds or so. There is also a half-assed blogging tool because I totally need another venue to explicate the contents of my navel in textual form. With 16 days left to go we'll see how it all pans out.

375 : 4/20/99 : Hole at the Center of the Universe (The Inertia Machine 9/36)

There is a whole a
great dark hole
at the center of the
universe
An unimaginable density
A dark reflection
of the static demise
to come

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

374 : 4/19/99 : Lethemax (The Inertia Machine 8/36)

Don’t let your constant awareness
of the designs and unimaginable interplay
of complex and incomprehensible forces
at work in your life
vex you for a moment longer!
Lethemax acts directly on the brain,
the center of cognitive dissonance,
quieting fears
and putting painful awareness gently to sleep
Recent clinical studies show
that the artifacts of higher awareness
empathy
introspection
foresight
circumspection
Are leading causes of dissonant stress
and are unnecessary
for happiness and personal fulfillment
Don’t spend another day
asking why

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

373 : 4/18/99 : Snatches of Late Television (The Inertia Machine 7/36)

1,380 : 17 ?


What do you want?
Do you want more time for yourself?
Time to do the things that really matter to you?
That’s the way most of us feel...
But the boss never feels that way -
Does he?
You see a complete revolution in
human society is about to occur
We will realize all at the same time
that by understanding what we truly need,
truly desire and truly have
the path to ultimate fulfillment
will quickly become apparent to us.
When does this revolution occur?
When I count to three.
You will know that it has
begun. Take a moment for
yourself now
and say
I am almost ready to begin

One

Two

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

372 : 4/17/99 : Visionary (The Inertia Machine 6/36)

And the visionary is still
at the center of his sphere
He go no electric light show to distract him
Things to him are exactly what they appear
Visionary got no sockets in his skull
Ain't got no home computer or cellular phone
Visionary got no cable TV
When no one else is with him he's alone
Visionary makes pronouncements
Calling for a higher connection
calling for the real revolution
Calling for the Velvet Insurrection
Visionary takes his stand unseen
Insisting that the whole world come along
And though no one in the whole world can see him
Still there's me to sing his song

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

371 : 4/16/99 : Cold Fusion (The Inertia Machine 5/36)

One of the lost artifacts is a
small plain metal box which
is said to contain the coldest
element in the universe,
a bubble about the size of
a sixty carbon sphere that
contains the universe’s only known point
of sustained absolute zero
in the center of this bubble a
microscopic platinum stylus
holds a single atom of
the most unstable element
in the universe. Ancient
sources claim the element
is accreting particles of time
and that when a critical
mass is reached, the element
and the accumulated time
will fuse into a new form
of matter. Opinions are divided
on the consequences of this
fusion but it is generally
agreed that it will take several
billion more years to occur.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

370 : 4/15/99 : The Differential (The Inertia Machine 4/36)

A sort of gear was discovered,
a way of warping space so that
the passage of time was altered.
Moments could be slowed down, stopped,
and gently rocked backwards.
They used this phenomenon as the
center of a device called the Differential
The differential was conceived as
the final, ultimate solution
of keeping time. Using a series
of interlocking warped space gears,
any moment of time could be
forced into regression until it
reached the theoretical limit of the
subdivision of time, the so-called instant.
The differential operated such that
intervals of time were measured
using the theorems of calculus
in an experimental subdivision of each
moment into a limit approaching infinity number
of interval-less instants. Unfortunately
there was no way to display the
results of this operation. The
differential was designed only to
keep time. Not to tell it.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

369 : 4/14/99 : The Leisure Machine (The Inertia Machine 3/36)

1,373 : 9 ?


The Leisure Machine
was turned on only
once.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

368 : 4/13/99 : Sundeath Inc. (The Inertia Machine 2/36)

A partial record survives of the Sundeath
Corporation. Having perfected a method
of accelerating stars to nova and
subsequent collapse to singularity,
the privately held Sundeath Exploration Group
was faced with the hurdle of
marketing this remarkable service.
As the first prototype projectiles were
entering simulated environment testing,
the Sundeath engineers were
envisioning vast arrays of storage batteries
set thousands of millions of miles from the
targeted sun. Mile wide solar sails would serve
to propel the batteries toward the engineers’
home planet while simultaneously collecting
the massive radiant energy produced by
the nova. In a few thousand years
the batteries would arrive by the millions,
ready to form the power infrastructure
for a massive orbital factory. Unfortunately
for the Sundeath engineers, these
ideas were still merely notions when
the recently incorporated Sundeath
discovered another relevant fact about
emerging technologies on
entirely new scales: Industrial
accidents also occurred on similar
orders of magnitude.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

367 : 4/12/99 : The Inertia Machine (The Inertia Machine 1/36)

1,366 : 3 ?


They say that once the universe was
perfectly balanced: the forces that
tumbled things apart were counter-matched
exactly by the forces that caused things to
be conjoined together. And everywhere
people had the freedom to pursue
understanding for its own sake, because
in the time of the Steady State, life
was very easy. And one race
pursued questions of celestial mechanics,
and in them perceived that a machine
could be constructed that would never
stop running. They believed such
a machine could be
harnessed for divination.
They spent many years designing and building
what they called the Inertia
Machine. When they activated the machine,
it operated just as they had
predicted. But when they sought
to use it to predict the outcomes
of things to come, they saw
visions of worlds they could not
understand. They saw a time
when the will of the individual
constantly foundered on the
ambivalence of the collective.
They saw a time when life was
very hard and even had to
steal the life energies of
other individuals by physically
consuming them. The visions
they had when they sat circle
around the machine filled
this people with a feeling they
had not known before.
When they broke circle, the visions
stopped but the feeling remained.
This is when they realized that
there was no way to turn the
machine off. Because it was
created to run forever, they
had not considered a method of
deactivation. They applied many
forces, the entropic and the creative,
they symbolical and the diabolical,
trying to tip the balance of the inertia
machine and cease its
perpetual motion. But all their
methods failed: the inertia
machine’s balance remained perfect.
Finally, they placed the machine in a
vessel and sent it towards a place in
the universe where they believed there
was a great black hole. The trip would take
tens of thousands of years. They say
that by the time the vessel carrying the
machine reached the black hole, the people had
forgotten what they had done, and
had no understanding of what was
happening when everything changed.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

briefer: introductions new and old

I decided to tighten up and consolidate the introduction and various explanations of this blog and the daily songwriting projects that make up the bulk of its content. The new introduction is here.

For the record, here are the original introductory and explanatory essays:

Let’s begin again (posted 7/18/06)

In 1998 I was in a very strange band called Tao Lepton, and as the ostensible chief lyricist I found myself struggling to find the inspiration to write. I decided to start a project of writing a lyric each day, and after a couple of false starts, I started daily writing in earnest on April 11, 1998 with the song "Huntress Moon."

Maintaining this sort of practice is very difficult, so from the beginning I decided that if I missed a day, I would allow the project to continue as long as I made up the missing lyric. In my own draconian viewpoint this is cheating, but I knew that if I demanded 100% on-time delivery, the project would not last for long, and if I allowed myself to simply skip days and not make them up, I would just end up skipping more and more, defeating the central purpose which was, after all, to do more lyric writing.

A little less than three years later, the band was long since history and I questioned my motivation for keeping the project up. It felt like work for work's sake and I was doubting whether the practice was really doing anything for my ability as a lyricist... indeed, whether I was a lyricist at all. I decided 1,001 songs was a nice figure and on January 5, 2001 I wrote the last song of the original project, "My Masterpiece."

Over the next four years I got married, bought a house, worked a couple of jobs, and became a father. From time to time I paged through some of the old song books, I wrote a handful of fragmentary new lyrics, and didn't think all that much about it. Then some train of thought I can no longer remember made me decide to start it up again, and on May 4, 2005 I wrote the aptly titled "First Song," with the stated intent of writing 10,000 consecutive songs - a project that (if I persist) will take over 27 years, at which point I'll be around 61. As of this writing that project is up to date.

During the first project, I had a fairly strict system for recording and tracking whether a song was written on its designated day or not. I never crunched the final numbers, but I was averaging a little over 80% of the songs written on their designated day. With the new project, I decided to not bother with this. I keep no record of when the songs are actually written, though I continue to aspire to write them on their designated days rather than later. One rule I maintain with both projects is no writing ahead. But the slacker guidelines on the new project have unquestionably made it more vulnerable to procrastination: on several occasions I have gotten seriously (as much as a month) behind, requiring some marathon writing sessions to get back up to the present. Thus the most likely cause of the premature demise of the new project will be not consciously deciding to give up the 10,000 song goal, but rather falling so far behind that catching up becomes functionally impossible.

(Note added later - I've since added a couple of elements to the song blogging that captures the status of the current project in terms of whether I'm getting behind, described here, and how I'm doing with writing songs on their designated days, described here).

Getting the songs transcribed (the vast majority exist solely as handwritten entries in formerly blank hardcover journals) has been an ongoing goal I have trouble keeping up with. Probably less than ten percent are transcribed to a digital format. Part of the motivation for deciding to blog the songs is to encourage this (boringly clerical) effort. My current plan is to post a song a day, every day I can. Of course, on this schedule it will be years until I even get to the second project, and if I were to keep it up (and not abandon the second project, and not die, and if modern society does not collapse into a plutocratic technological dark age, rendering the internet obsolete) I would not catch up until several years after the 10,000th song of the second series was written, finding me about ready for retirement (except retirement age will probably be about 75 by that time, but that's a whole other blog).

When you make a commitment to a project like this these kinds of speculations are inevitable, but they aren't really what it is all about. It is about one day at a time, and creating something concrete that reminds you that yes, those days do keep going by, and my, there are a hell of a lot of them.

I started this blog a while ago, publishing both old and new songs without much structure, but I didn't like it so I decided to delete everything and start over, preferring instead the one-at-a-time presentation most true to the original project. I also decided to eschew making comments and asides about the songs, and just let them stand as they are. If anyone is curious enough to ask about something specific, they can leave a comment in the relevant post and I will try to respond to those. I may inject the occasional aside relating to projects that utilize these lyrics - for example, one of my (very few) recordings of one of the song lyrics is on the playlist of a compilation CD of musicians who are members a community website called Metafilter, and I will probably make a small post about this when the CD is available for sale.

A final note: I have engaged in a few collaborations with better musicians than myself on some of the songs and I've been happy with the results. So if a lyric happens to capture your fancy, my email is available on my profile page: please feel free to contact me about setting my words to your music.

And so on to the songs.

the fairly secret song of the day blog: now with weekly drama (posted 11/19/06)

I've been wanting to bring the current song of the day writing project into this blog in a small way. I don't want to introduce any new lyrics: I want to preserve the flow of the daily writing from the original project. But I'd like to have a small reminder that I am doing this now, it's not just something that happened 8 years ago.

So: each Monday, prior to the day's actual song, I'm going to post a little status report on the ongoing project. It will consist of the number of the current project's song, and an icon that represents how well (or poorly) I'm actually keeping up with the current writing. Here's a key to the meaning of the icons:

Songs are current. There is no backlog of work to do.


Songs are less than a week behind schedule


Songs are between one week and a month behind schedule


Songs are between a month and three months behind schedule. So far, the worst it's been. It was very difficult to get back to current.

Songs are more than three months behind schedule. If it ever gets to this point I think the project will be in severe jeopardy. Aren't you feeling anxious just thinking about it?

At first I was going to use a "threat level" graphic in the style of the whole Homeland Security Terrorometer thing but I decided I was sick of all that shit.

I have another motive for this small window into my day to day. As I mentioned in the original project explanation, unlike the first daily writing project, I am no longer indicating in the actual writing whether I wrote a song on schedule or as a catch-up on a later date.

While I've never felt it was realistic to expect I'd never miss a day, with the old project I followed the simple expedient of writing late songs in red ink. I don't know if it is the lack of this crude psychological goad or just a more complex life, but I've been significantly more lax in the current project with allowing myself to get behind schedule. I figure a little public accountability couldn't hurt.

As for "drama," I'm a behind right now, as Monday's post will show. As these things go, I have relatively good reasons for having gotten behind, but I'm not going to get into the reasons here or anywhere else. I'll just let the numbers speak for themselves. Hold on to the edge of your browser as my aspiration to write 10,000 lyrics in less than three decades surges forward with all the dramatic tension of an encroaching glacier!

Weekly status, now with continuity tracking (posted 11/12/07)

I explained my original intentions behind the weekly status report here. I've decided to add an additional marker that indicates how long a string of songs I've written without missing a day during the ongoing project. By way of example, today's status:

926 : 1 ?


Explanation

Icons indicate if I'm running a song backlog and if so how much.


926 : 1 Songs written in the current project : Songs written without missing a day

(Whenever I'm running a backlog the latter number will be zero)

The question mark links to this explanation. I'd like to say that I've only written one song without missing a day because I purposely skipped a day to officially start the public count. But that would be a lie. Although I've been avoiding serious backlogs, I'm still missing a lot more days than I'm satisfied with. As usual, increasing the amount of status data I'm publishing is an attempt to motivate myself to better performance.

Including the 1,001 songs written in the original project (the one I'm currently blogging) I'm nearing 2,000 daily songs written so far.

Speaking of origins

I've been dealing with some computer issues, now resolved, and found things at a good point for one of my semi-frequent interruptions of the lyric stream. The songs enter an odd phase for a while now. The Inertia Machine, a 36 song series that commences with the next eponymous song, is something of an enigma to me. I remember writing it only vaguely, and although I can see some definite themes running through it I don't really know what the unifying element that makes it a series is supposed to be. Maybe in the end there wasn't much of one. I think it is something of a frustrated response to the last posted song, The Sound of No Walls, which I remember writing pretty well and recall distinctly started with being pretty excited about a concept that really failed to transfer to the page. Only the title remains to suggest much promise (there are bits of that song I like but I think it fails decisively as a whole).

Why my reaction to this was to write a lot of, essentially, speculative fiction, much of it looking like a prose paragraph or two chopped up into psuedo free verse, again I don't much recall. Maybe it will become clearer to me as I transcribe the rest of it. I suspect, reading it, that I am under a particular literary influence, but I'm not at all sure what... I'm pretty sure my W.S. Merwin phase came earlier, my Brian W. Aldiss phase later. Whatever the case, it comprises a not-inconsiderable chunk of the whole first project - more than three and a half percent - and I'm not very satisfied with it. Of course I'm not very satisfied with a lot of it, it's the nature of the beast. Wait till we get to the point nearer the end when I decided I needed a vacation and wrote a bunch of two-word "songs." That'll be a proud couple of weeks.

Last thing I'm going to do before I get on with the songs is clean up, consolidate and rewrite the introduction to this blog, something I've been meaning to do for a while. Keep an eye out for Monday's status summary - I'm a week behind on the current project (which should be on song number 1,363 but remains stuck on song 1,356... the first time I've let it fall this far behind in a while, and getting dangerously close to a point I promised myself I wouldn't get to again, having two separate notebooks going at once - though why this particular sign of neglect should get to me I don't know). So I'm going to try to get it caught up by the end of the weekend. Don't feel bad about taking a break if the gripping drama becomes too much for your nerves to bear.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

366 : 4/11/09 : The Sound of No Walls

It’s always this way a little notion
Comes in the night whispering in my ear
Mine to take and hold and shine
Meanwhile above me two have a finer idea
and find oblivion in the arms of the night
In the heart of darkness whispering
Sweet nothings into the void of the well
of the souls of all the saints
Why not me
there are always reasons
why not me why is that not
my cry of ecstasy this moment
I want revelation no waiting
I want the whole show right now
I want the mountaintop
I want it all I want it all I want it all
I want it all I want it all I want it all
I want it all I want it all I want it all
I want it all I want it all I want it all
right here right now right in
this moment

But instead I got just this
a lagging spirit and a cramped
hand such a shame such
a shame and all my little
notions never seem to add
up to enough to make me
feel as if I’ve finally gotten what I
think that I deserve and I don’t deserve
anything anyway what do I add to
the world but toxic waste just another
American parking any damn place he
wants to drop the goddamn bombs I
don’t care I’ve got a mortgage and
these kids are gonna kill me what the
hell is wrong with everyone these
days

The big finale
wrap it up with one bold stroke
Is life a subtle symphony
or just a cosmic joke
I’m tired of the moment that never comes
While I watch you making millionaires of bums
While I watch you making millionaires of
men who wouldn’t cross the street
to pick you off the pavement
If you failed to land on your feet
But anyway I just don’t know it
You get your row and no choice but to hoe it
If this is genius then we’re all in trouble
Well I guess if we both survive to survey the rubble
We’ll just have to figure it out then
Maybe I’ll be better then

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

365 : 4/10/99 : Million Dollars

1,356 : 0 ?



I would pay a million dollars
I would take an acid bath
To stop thinking of the future
To stop worrying about my path
I would stop my mouth with plaster
I would close my eyes with glue
Just to be in this one moment
just to know that only this is true
But I don’t have a million dollars
I don’t have the will to fight
I fought Lord oh a long time
I was born to struggle with the dying light
I didn’t ask to be this person
Didn’t ask to bear this cross
I didn’t ask to always have to
see the foul truth underneath the gloss
And I’d pay a million dollars
For those rose tinged glasses that you wear
man I’d just sit in the park
man I’d just sit there and stare

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

364 : 4/9/99 : Apollyon

Apollyon, Apollyon are you getting lazy
we’re so good at screwing things up ourselves now
I read about you in the book of Revelations
But it seems we have decided to pull our own wrathful plow
Apollyon Apollyon is your time at hand
Are you coming soon to finish what we started
will the righteous be lifted from the conflagration
Before the heavens fall and seas are parted
Doesn’t it seem like it has already happened
Like those days are dead and long gone
Doesn’t it make you kind of wish for the old days
Doesn’t it make you wish Apollyon
Did things go the way you thought
Is this all running by the plan
Are these the cities of heaven
is this the inheritance of man
Apollyon you’ve got the answers
You have seen in from both sides
You know how the dice roll up there
You know where the truth abides
Whisper in my ear and tell me
If this one may be the last
I just want a chance to wrap up
Just a few loose ends in my past

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

363 : 4/8/99 : Images

Images that circle up and wheel around me
I remember the time you found me
Standing staring into space
With a baffled look on my face
The wheel spins around and tumbles at you
bursts into flames reminds you of the time that you
drove all night away from that town
drove that river road all the way down
Images from the past or future tense
Living in a world that spares no expense
Our collective vision of the new age
Oh children please its time to turn the next page
The diamond the hanged man and the snake
The cup the sword and the lady of the lake
too many images I see them in my sleep
Who do you pray your soul to keep
I see a skull and crossbones on a vial
A yellow circle with a big smile
And in your monochrome world I hide my many-colored coat
Till the day comes when we all sing as with one throat

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

362 : 4/7/99 : Phantasm 5

1,354 : 1 ?



Well the mind blows
out from the inside
Forth and out in
every possible direction
face the perfect complexion
of the sphere that lies
At the center
I asked him if he meant her
or someone else I’d never known before
Or someone who had just walked through the door
And he said it’s just like
Phantasm Five
This silver sphere flies through his head
And his mind blows
out from the inside

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

361 : 4/6/99 : Vicious Cycles, Three Visited

At the intersection of Vicious Cycles,
three visited together after two thousand years
talking about the trip they made so long ago
three kings chatting over beers
They recalled the gifts they brought him
The gold the frankincense the myrrh
And laughed to think how they never guess
that the little guy would raise such a crazy stir
Kasper said it never really caught on back East
We stuck with the Buddha, Confucius and Lao-Tzu
Heaven knows that’s a lot of disbelievers
Well that chalice of myrrh was from them too
And Balthazar said don’t I know it
I should have asked him to let my people go
When I handed the frankincense over
I should have asked about the end of the show
Well Melchior said well you know boys
I’m the one who laid out gold
Though I must confess I never
figured out exactly what I’d been sold
But it seems now in the end
It’s just this world and it’s wicked ways
All our sacrifices always
Wind up winding up as passion plays

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

360 : 4/5/99 : Lucky Number 13

What’s that sound I’m hearing
A train is coming ‘round the bend
And soon old number thirteen will be appearing
that’s my lucky number friend
When that train comes rolling in
I’ll know I’m on my path again
Oh lucky number 13
Well I guess I’m really fortune’s fool
Waiting for fate to tap me on the shoulder
I should have tended to my lessons in school
I should have known every year I’d be another year older
And when Fate taps me on the shoulder the last time
Who knows if there’ll be any reason or rhyme
To the tracks I traveled on
Oh lucky number 13
Well if you miss the train I’m on
There’s no need to carry on
‘cause the whole thing just comes looping back
a toy train on a cheap toy track
Make no mistake I’m coming ‘round
Next time old thirteen passes through
I roll along then go to ground
It’s strange what I get paid to do
Well I guess I just gotta roll with the machine
Well I guess I just gotta roll with my lucky thirteen

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

359 : 4/4/99 : Antiwar

I guess it’s time I came out full-fledged anti-war
Though it makes me shudder to wonder if we can stop it
I guess we must get off on that feeling we been here before
I guess we have a hard time trying to cop to it
I wonder about entropy how somehow all that energy
That got pumped in so long ago must oscillate its way out
In my mind’s I I see terrible synergy
It all comes to head in a long horrific spout
In a few men’s minds the cold equations
locked in matter spelled out in fire
And a little bit of matter is subjected to our persuasions
And Hiroshima turns into a funeral pyre
I don’t want to be around for the next big one
to come along and swear to end all wars
Cause I think that after that the whole show is done
Oh why does a man become what he deplores

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

358 : 4/3/99 : To Hell With You

Who wants to hear my words my voice
Not you not me what’s the point
We all get to make our own choice
But it makes no difference if it’s all out of joint
So I say to hell with you all
You don’t want salvation and that’s a good thing
Cause we don’t have it for you I don’t have the gall
Anymore to try to make you listen to what I sing

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

357 : 4/2/99 : Good Friday

I hate the week to week I hate my day to day
I try not to complain too much it’s always been this way
The weekend’s just a bone I’m thrown to distract me from the fact
I think that I’m getting away but Monday I’ll be back
I hate the work week attitude the way it sucks me in
Diverted from my true work waiting for my weekend to begin
And we all rush out Friday night like hounds sniffing for tail
My God the spectacle we’d see if we tore off the veil;
But this one will be different
This time it’s not gonna go the same way
This is the weekend heaven sent
This is my Good Friday
I’d love to live on principles and make a real change
I’d love to live my life exploring everything sublime and strange
Wouldn’t it be something if we all could have that chance
Maybe we would finally pull this culture from its trance
Try for just one moment to imagine what we’d build
If we finally figured out that what we get is what we willed
I guess I must be crazy to pretend I’m so naive
But in the end and in a sense it’s still what I believe
That if we could stop for just a little while
We’d see that everyone had something worthwhile to say
And if we failed at least we would go out in style
On that last mile together on Good Friday

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

356 : 4/1/99 : When the Pump Shut Down

1,345 : 6 ?


Oh when the big pump shut down
no one could get any water at all
We had to dig so deep by the time the pump shut down
So deep that it was way too far to haul
I guess we should have thought of that
I guess we really should have known
I guess we really should have though about the big pump
I guess we really shoulda thought a little further
than we coulda thrown a stone
Well it’s all drying up now
And I’m so thirsty I could cry
Ah my baby left me she heard there was water up North
I was too thirsty to get up so she left me here to die
Oh but before I dry up and blow away
On that hot wind that blows now all the time
I’m gonna take my last shot at setting you straight
I’m gonna tell you off cause it’s my dime
Sir every living thing needs water
And every one of us is a living thing
And every one of our poor old pumps will shut down some day
But without water it could be sooner than you think

355 : 3/31/99 : Rattled

I get rattled every day that goes by
I get scattered by the tyranny of the day to day
So much I’ll never know unless I try
So much to do so much to learn so much to say
This is just a bookmark on a slow sad decline
I don’t want anything but to disappear
I don’t want anything but to throw away what’s mine
I don’t want anything but to get right out of here
This is not a song it’s a complaint box
I’m so sick of all the nothing I’ve got locked inside
I’m so tired of all my keys that fit none of my locks
I’m so sick of having my living taken from my hide
I’m so sick and I don’t know the cure for it
I’m so sick of all you being bad as me or worse
I’m so sick and tired of the same old happy horseshit
If I only had the secret how to lift this curse
Rattle on the bars of this old familiar cage
Rattled and distracted to the point of no return
Rattling off the same lines on this old familiar page
I’ll rattle on and on and watch Rome burn

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

354 : 3/30/99 : Accusations

I stand to point at you
and make my accusations
This does not seem to me
the best of all possible worlds
The way the Vikings had it made more sense
the great serpent round
the whole thing curled
this seems like a mistake
doesn’t it?
This one shoulda been thrown back
into the sea of possibility
I guess that option’s up to me

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

353 : 3/29/99 : Error Message

1,311 : 3 ?


We met in a chat room
Our opinions of Björk seemed well in tune
You called yourself starkitty
I called myself the Man in the Moon
And we talked all night
just like lovers do
You stayed the night in my mind
I gave it up for you
But now when I try to email you
An error message is my only reply
The user cannot be found on this network
That’s all I find no matter how I try
So much gets lost now anyway
Swallowed in the electronic sea
I think I left a piece of me behind in your mind
but you didn’t leave a piece for me

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

352 : 3/28/99 : Big Computer

I’m gonna hack my way into the big computer
Give all the wealth and power to the common slob
Watch them go crazy with it drive it off a cliff
I know these people; they only know one kind of job
Maybe I’ll turn the whole show over to Ralph Nader
Or someone with a similar background
Maybe all we need is one good benign dictator
Someone really smart to push us all around
I could program it to operate at random
Might as well give anarchy a chance
Anything different just as long as I get left out of the loop
I’ve never had the stomach for the power dance
Maybe when I’m in and see how complicated things are
I’ll despair of finding anyone to run the show
Maybe I’ll just plug the big computer back into itself
tell it to do what it thinks is best and go

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

351 : 3/27/99 : Inattention

1,290 : 2 ?


Entropy is embedded in the fabric of this universe
everything’s unraveling at a microscopic pace
just look at how the clutter in the attic’s getting worse
just look at all the new lines in your face
Inertia is the mainspring ever since that first big pop
And everything just pushes endlessly on
Look at how the days go by and never ever stop
Look at how the traces of the past are never gone
And inattention is the lynch pin
keep it all falling apart or pushing endlessly out
Making sure that we ignore the only engine
That could save it all from going down the spout

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

persistence interruptus

I've had persistent enthusiasm deficiency for posting songs lately. While this has often happened when I've lagged behind in the job of transcribing the songs from their handwritten notebooks, in this case I have a small backlog of transcribed songs. I've been disinclined even to open the posting interface.

At the point when I'm actually taking more time to write something completely new here as a substitute for transcribing another song I have to wonder if there is something more complicated than ordinary, periodic disinterest and procrastination that comes with any long-range project.

Maybe not. Certainly I think about stopping altogether sometimes. There is a strange difference between this electronic "publication" experiment and doing the original writing of the songs, which I did not expect to be seen or heard by anyone (even less so after the band I was playing with succumbed to attrition and I stopped home recording) - and I rarely presented actual material to anyone, even friends - though I think I spoke to people about the song of the day project in the abstract a fair amount.

The ostensible function of the fairly secret blog was to get the material digital, fungible, searchable. Despite its theoretical availability I didn't expect it to be read much. But with one thing and another at least a few hundred people have been exposed to this and I don't believe anyone is reading it regularly.

This seems like a relevant observation especially as I am turning out more of this material as we speak (literally, like I wrote a song in the midst of composing this post) and I have to ask myself why. Recording seems like too much trouble (and I have zero budget set aside for it) and I'm not doing anything to actively solicit collaboration. I haven't thought seriously about trying to form a band in 9 or 10 years. I certainly don't see the Cosmodemonic Music Group ringing me up to request any of these odd little ditties for one of their mass produced chanteuses. I could say I gave it the old college try. It's not like it was a callow effort: I've written a song for every day for three and a half years (despite recent blog infrequency I've been more or less dutiful in cranking out new daily verses).

I breezed past the song count on the original project somewhat less than a year ago and felt I'd gotten my second wind up, but now, a third of the way into the second (only second!) of a putative ten (ten!) thousands, I'm wondering if I'm hitting a heretofore unglimpsed plateau of creative juice. The writing lately is dull, brief and arduous. And though I may feel differently later (it's certainly happened before) at the moment it seems to me that the material, that is to say the issue, is not very good. It's hard medicine to test the stuff of my persistence with.

A story went around a short while ago about a broom shop in Tokyo that had stayed open since 1972 without serving a single patron. The implication being I guess that someone had unlocked, set out stock and sat stolidly behind a counter for 36 years (financed, one presumes, by some small inheritance or disinterested kin). It turned out to be an easily debunked hoax, of course, but there is something interesting about the inclination to think of it as something potentially true... the proprietor of such a shop would clearly be mad but there seems the possibility that this particular kind of madman (or -woman) could really exist. The projected span of Ten Thousand Nights, the second iteration of the song of the day project, is a little less than 27 and a half years. Of course, at current rates I'd have to live to be about 130 to hope to get the whole thing online. But setting that aside, as a mission (even one that is far from full time) it does strike me just this moment as a trifle quixotic.

More songs later maybe.

P.S. Google's dictionary doesn't know how to spell "searchable". WTF Google?

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here