2.461 : 8/7/06 : Now Then

Now then
here again
count my blessings
count to ten
here now
still behind the plow
wonder should I sacrifice
this sacred cow
don’t expect
no disrespect
to you old friend
and your dialect
the words that mean
the slate is clean
the foolish rituals I choose
to set the scene
but it’s all now
today it’s true
don’t expect much to change
but it beats feeling blue

what

2.460 : 8/6/06 : A Charm

First time came as quite a shock
recall how very sure I felt
Guess feeling sure don’t mean a thing
just how you play the hand you’re dealt
second time I learned not to
trust how things looked on paper
how God is in the details true
how dreams disperse like vapor
the third time I can’t see too well
still toiling deep inside
just hoping hoping it’s a charm
the one that will at last abide

what

2.459 : 8/5/06 : Siren, Banshee, Shrike

2,651 : 3 ?



Siren, banshee, shrike
luster, howler, killing strike
crash into the rocks
cry that kills and shatters locks
butcher bird her bloody larder
I spun around and the sound hit me harder
I’d lashed myself to the wheel
but the shrike was at my heel
I stuffed my ears with wax
to put the sirens off my tracks
I froze the banshee with Medusa’s head
I’m mixing my myths but I can sleep in that bed
but at the end of the hall
the shrike was waiting despite it all
and I just held out my hand
I’ll whisper little bird I know you’ll understand

what

2.458 : 8/4/06 : The Oracles

The oracles are dicking me around
telling me all kinds of crazy contradictory smack
and while I’m all distracted by the fury and the sound
the future unfolds on its own behind my back
I threw the yarrow stalks I cooked the turtle shell
I cast stones and bones and runes all morning long
Newspaper horoscopes said something about going through hell
The Book said the heart was wicked but I think it was wrong
I guess I can’t expect any help from behind the veil
that shit tore once it’s all mixed together now
and if I’m destined to do some time in the belly of the whale
I’m not asking you to justify why just tell me how
Still it’s hard to resist running the old gimmicks
Staring at the tea leaves flexing the old wish bone
And still I gotta wish you’d teach this dog some new tricks
It’s the 21st century couldn’t you call me on the phone

what

2.457 : 8/3/06 : Fog

Fog of desire, satiation
fog on the windows
of the space station
We're all trapped to some degree
hanging in space
hanging from the family tree
I can't see for
the fog I generated
all for a moment
of an inkling I was sated
it wasn't worth it
is anything ever
I never said I thought
that I was that clever
I'm just waiting
waiting for the fog to burn off
waiting for the sentinel
to turn and cough
then I'll slip past
underneath the wire
walk away from
the fog of desire

what

2.456 : 8/2/06 : Furious

Furious anger furious thought
furious with concepts of
ownership and ought
harnessed through discipline
focused through a lens
the solvent the
windows of perception I cleanse
I smashed the doors down
with a bigger hammer
as long as I don't end up
in politics or the slammer
no parliament would have me
no law I've broken
and I feel safe and secure
with my get out of jail token
Furious with the time I've wasted
full of longing for
the life I've tasted
I won't be dragged behind
this time
again
I'm doing it all on my own dime

what

2.455 : 8/1/06 : Catch

What’s the catch
to the new deal
a slightly deeper
illusion of the real
mind is not real
nor television
the true answer
always lost in the precision
Here’s the catch
the future can’t be known
and the past is gone forever
and we all die alone
if you don’t like it
complain to management
complain the path is twisty, narrow
and the column’s bent

what

2.454 : 7/31/06 : Settle

At this point
I’d settle for anything
just tell me where to stand
just tell me what to bring
just tell me how to act
just tell me what to say
I’ll comb my ragged hair
I’ll hide inside to pray
this isn’t anything
I know just how things are
after a decade and a half
I know exactly just how far
pacing the rut gets you
work equals zero, zip
And I just try to keep my head down
So much for the hero trip

what

2.453 : 7/30/06 : Day One Again

2,644 : 59 ?


Day one again
a month to 35
years upon this orb
and still very much alive
this time very different
without flower or mushroom scroll
and with a pessimistic spirit
that exacts a heavy toll
I barely glance at what I wrote
I rarely see the point
I’m running on a bloody mind
eschew the universal joint
I hope it will get better soon
surely hoped that before
I’m hoping for a window
but I’ll settle for a door

what

2.452 : 7/29/06 : Far Behind

How does it all get
So far behind
day by day
one excuse at a time
I feel the answer
can’t be far behind now
but how long has that theory
been on my mind now
every day I say
today the change
the sepulchers I whitewash
the deck chairs rearranged
on this titanic
train wreck of a boat
in the valley of indifference
just echoes of the clearing of my throat

what

2.451 : 7/28/06 : White Hot Wire

Anger like a
white hot wire
insinuated
spread the fire
no outlet no
and no release
the wolf’s in the pasture
disguised in a fleece
seems nothing’s to
be done with it
I’m not done
and I cannot quit
The white hot wire
digs deeper still
today’s manifestation
of the bitter pill
says it’s harmful to
keep it bottled inside
but I’ve promises to keep
on this long long ride
I hold it down imperfectly
perhaps my saving grace
I know that they can read
the wire’s lash marks on my face

what

2.450 : 7/27/06 : Mail

I check the mail
by hand and electron
I keep thinking
it will deliver some gumption
it’s always bullshit
ads and bills
offers I can’t refuse
with alarming codicils
I try to write a letter
every day
I never send them
I’ve got nothing to say
I guess that’s probably
the reason for this drought
you can’t expect to get
what you don’t put out
The sign said every single thing
you seek is within
I knew I lied
when I said I was ready to begin
I’ll write that confession
on a postcard of a snail
And send it to the Emperor
by first class celestial mail

what

2.449 : 7/26/06 : Solipsistic

Being hopeful is not the
same thing as optimism
One seems to be necessary
the other merely solipsism
Being tall does not make you
into a basketball player
Using fancy words does not
make you a truth conveyer
I don’t want to be here
at all anymore
Getting through that is necessary
but it doesn’t really open the door
sufficient cause I have
enough I think to cease
but some sick hope inside of me
will not grant my release

what

2.448 : 7/25/06 : Resistance

What am I resisting
what’s making me kick
what’s the problem with just existing
when will something finally stick
waiting for enlightenment
waiting for a change
trying to get over this feeling of entitlement
waiting for something inside to rearrange
waiting for an answer
to fall down from on high
waiting for the perfect mood enhancer
waiting for you to cast the die
Me and my resistance
Plowing a hard row
Guess I’ve also got persistence
So this small refrain should show
sick of hopeful platitudes
Leave it on a down note
Just like it said in the beatitudes
but the sentiment stuck in my throat

what

2.447 : 7/24/06 : Can We Change

Can we really change at all?
Can we climb out of the hole
Can we halt another fall
Can we keep this world
from going down the tubes?
is it all just a show
for the partisan rubes?
Something small
try something smaller
I’ll never be younger
I’ll never be taller
Someday I might be richer
tomorrow I’ll be poorer
You can struggle with fate
but you can’t ignore her
I got a sick feeling in my heart
we’re gonna roll a long time yet
refusing to ask if we can change
what a rude surprise we’re gonna get

what

2.446 : 7/23/06 : This Silence

2,637 : 52 ?


This silence this solitude
isn’t my friend anymore
no more escape from the day today
feet planted on the floor
Messed from the first stroke
hoped I’d get better soon
the answer is still nowhere
better no nearer than the moon
there’s no monolith up there
there’s no sign from God
that’s no way to play this hand
You shouldn’t spare the rod
It’s not merely circumstance
I think it’s by design
I think that in a thousand years
I might just finally make it mine
Heard it all before you know
the silence that’s without
The restless chatter in my head
that tries to drown it out

what

2.445 : 7/22/06 : Flashback

Flashback backtrack
try to ignore the
television fractured fission
up to here with lore of
the early adopters
and black helicopters
It must be conspiracy
that got in between you and me
Made up as I went along
Another day another song
only wanted to be
weightless and free
I know I’ve been here before
through this tangle
through this door
catching up again doesn’t mean anything
Lose the thread pick it up
another stupid half full cup
It makes me sad
nothing in my hand I bring

what

2.444 : 7/21/06 : Pander

They’ve made a science of it
monetizing pandering
me I’m practically immune
my thoughts just keep meandering
More garbage I don’t want to watch
same shit different day
I’ve got no excuse for being up
And nothing to say when I pray
Nothing better than a couplet
never thought it’d take so long
I don’t like it when I feel this way
and I do not feel strong

what

2.443 : 7/20/06 : Worry ‘Bout the Government

Consumed by fantasies
revenge on the bastards
smash their fortresses
hoist them on their own petards
foolish, unchristian
drowning in bile
plagued by dark fantasies
helpless all the while
Is the solution
to turn the other cheek
will anything at all
be inherited by the meek
it looks to me like
the last stay last
and the first hang on like leeches
to their sumptuous repast
and what could one
ever hope to do
I worry ‘bout the government
the evils old and new
I’ll give myself an ulcer
I’ll give myself a stroke
Going crazy about everything
and ranting till I croak

what

2.442 : 7/19/06 : The New Rule

The new rule:
first things first above all
There’s no bigger picture
and there is no sacred wall
Energy and water
doesn’t seem so complicated
To reject the mass opinion
ignore how I get rated
it’s easy when I do it
it’s a hard row when I don’t
so I guess it’s all my problem
if I will or if I won’t
put aside thoughts of tomorrow
since it never ever comes
Just listen to today’s voice
keep marching to today’s drums
the new rule
Wonder how long it will last
I can only keep on rolling
as the todays roll into the past

what

2.441 : 7/18/06 : Start Something Up

I want to start something up
I don’t care what anymore
As long as it’s not another fight
as long as it’s not another war
A ship in a bottle would be
an act of sedition these days
Everything is so important
everybody everybody pays
They’re talking killing again
again they’re talking bombs
they’re talking rockets, viruses
North Korea, Lebanon
I just want to start some
pretty painting in my corner
build some pretty idol
with fresh flowers adorn her

what

2.440 : 7/17/06 : Bear With Me

Bear with me a little longer
please don’t give up hope
I’m trying very very hard
to play out enough rope
to the beast that dwells within
the demon in the details
I’m trying hard to send this
train of thoughts right off the rails
I try to take a cheerful aspect
try to prove my point
that nine times out of ten
the problem’s just time out of joint
but I can see the contrary
position that it’s always now
And I can see the point of
singing loudly from my gospel plow
I can adapt I swear it
learn a different trade
I’m searching searching searching for it
in this strange melange I’ve made

what

2.439 : 7/16/06 : Will Roll On

2,630 : 45 ?



The world will roll on I think
in its rutted track in its gravity sink
I won’t give up ever, no
As long as I’ve life and some way to go
We always think we’re in the central hour
we seem to believe in some persistence of power
but history tells a different tale
and we’re all staring blindly in the belly of the whale
It might string along a thousand pages
It might be prescribed across the ages
It might vanish in my own lifetime
I can’t tell if that would be such a crime
I heard the voice warn all out war
I had to wonder what it all was for
Nobody wins nobody wins again
this must be evil this must be sin

what

2.438 : 7/15/06 : Closing In

Circle circle circle round
this uplifting abstraction
circle round the symbol
rally round the grand distraction
I’ve got a feeling
that I’m closing in
I’ve had it before
and I’ve got it again
I can’t imagine one
reason to believe in it
but still there is this signal
and still I am receiving it
I’ll just keep
circling circling
I feel like Charlemagne
I feel like a king
Closing in on
the royal objective
the royal road to
my sole directive

what

2.437 : 7/14/06 : Dog Days (II)

Is it true that every
dog will have it’s day?
In my heart I
prayed it every day
let this be the one
let this be the last
the path I dreamed
all through my checkered past
The dog days are upon us
I couldn’t guess for how long
I’d like to say I’m ready I’d
be lying if I said
that I was going strong
but the sun it is a vampire
bleeding off my spark
and it’s so hard to stop
this trend of living in the dark

what

2.436 : 7/13/06 : Dog Days (I)

It’s just the heat
only the heat
Oppression of the atmosphere
it’s got me beat
the world warps like
a soggy mass
the sun is pressing down
infiltrating through the glass
plans are burned and wilted
intentions too
I thought for sure this weekend
I’d get with you
I thought for sure this once
I’d finally get it right
I thought I’d get a second wind
I thought I’d go all night

what

2.435 : 7/12/06 : The Anger Manifesto

It lashes out at every angle
hissing whipping menace
headless snake
control or redirect just cannot
eradicate this
grim road that I take
I need to ride that angry
river to it’s source
figure out where the rest go
fighting cannot be the answer
to the anger manifesto
I’ll permit five more
declarations
five more shouts of ire
I’ll allow another dies irae
before I consign it to the fire
It’s all me baby it’s all you
it’s all something
or the other
Anger remains
bright as a new penny
Anger and fear his brother

what

2.434 : 7/11/06 : These Lies

Seven hundred breakdowns
seven hundred shames
leading to another lost day
five hundred miles
the five thousand names
that I wrote down in my own way
I’ve got no answer no solutions
another rush that gutters, dies
I need an agency to
counter these pollutions
to speak truth to these lies

what

2.433 : 7/10/06 : Invoke Terror

Invoke terror, the never ending war
the story of the misery
laid up in store
this human race hasn’t
progressed one iota
turn on the television
fill your terror quota
I’m sick of this world
and I’m sick of this life
nobody told me it was
all mired down in stupid strife
nobody told me
it would go like this
it makes me crazy
really takes the piss
 
what

2.432 : 7/9/06 : I Lock the Wine

I lock the wine up
cause Johnny’s coming by
Not to deny and not to say
he’s not a stand up guy
but Johnny can’t resist the wine
or crank for that good matter
thank God I never have that round
I don’t dig on that spatter
I am an American
A master by my own lights
of setting down a line or ten
of setting things to rights
I’ll feed him beer till Kingdom Come
And he’s just so gosh darn charming
I’d have to call that Fun

what

2.431 : 7/8/06 : A Little There

A little here a little there
your little hobby faith
amuses me beyond compare
I act a dada nonsense verse
that turned you into
a devastating voodoo curse

what

2.430 : 7/7/06 : Circumcise My Heart

Can you cut off this unwieldy chunk
So I can finally start
This excess flesh I call a man
just circumcise my heart
I pray you make me holy
Lord till blood sweats from my pores
Declare it as a bill of rights
remove my conscience skin my words
then I will just be
Something convenient
Don’t be careful with me
don’t be lenient
circumcise my heart
and make me righteous in your sight
convince me to remember to
act like it will all turn out
all right

what

2.429 : 7/6/06 : Stealth Mode

I move so slowly
embracing every shadow
Lucky thing I lost weight
in the hole
I didn’t know
I could press that low
survivor mode
stealth mode
crazy tactics
I feel like such a toad
lifting it straight
out of conversation
am I invading
client privilege
of this privileged nation
It isn’t clear
So I keep it
very quiet
nightshade
grows from every crack
I’m on a steady diet

what

2.428 : 7/5/06 : Guess

Too many times to approach the thing
Too many times I appeal to a guess
I’ve got a notion I’ll get better soon
But I will seek no answer or redress
I know that each one here will die
I fear we’ll never know just why
I change the rules I know at every whim
But I believe whatever I said to him
That nothing would prevent a particle of Fate
Or move an inch across the horizon
I think the root of it all was not hate
indifference is what I’ve got my eyes on

what

2.427 : 7/4/06 : Gaps

Gaps between teeth, signs of times
said it over a thousand same old rhymes
Powerful impact explains worst causes
I’ve lost track of my exit strategies and escape clauses
Is this the same old I can’t tell
Don’t consider me vain if I say I do it well
It’s said that it’s all cryptic it’s said it’s a ruse
I say you better stand back if you light my fuse
Ah yes now I remember well
I’ve never been so meek and mild over that farewell
America is still out there I heard him say
Another load to hoist on your trebuchet
So now it’s back to this routine I guess it works
It’s not without it’s charms or hidden perks
From gaps to ghastly synapses
From quick to very dead
I guess it’s what I meant to say
I guess it’s what I said

what

2.426 : 7/3/06 : Rolling Home

It’s fun to have a day away
it’s fun to mix things up and play
but in the end I always want
to be rolling home
There’s spectacle
and liquor store
a fancy meal
the club de jour
But after that you’ll find me
purely rolling home
I have to leave my heart behind
if wandering gets on my mind
but what it asks
pays twice in kind
that’s why I’m rolling home
‘cross the muddy past the tracks
I’m always finding my way back
be it a mansion or a shack
I only want to be
rolling home

what

2.425 : 7/2/06 : Wrong Rabbit

2,616 : 31 ?


Follow that rabbit
catch him if you can
crashing through the shrubs and hedges
think you’ve got him
my good man
whoops he slips out of your grasp
on the hunt once more
but what’s up with this rabbit hole
it has a little door
knock three times to be polite
and then just dive in after
I gotta say around the bend
that sounds like bunny laughter
wait a second didn’t she say
he was supposed to be white
I think we’ve got the wrong rabbit
and are about to see the light

what

2.424 : 7/1/06 : Roll

It may just be
Playing a role for you
but not for me
I am rolling now
and it’s easy
It’s difficult to write
and not stay up
too late at night
but to roll along
comes naturally to me
if it seems all much the same
blame Dante and his little game
of circles within circles
bound to hell to get at heaven
I’m just rolling unconcerned
testing what I may have learned
it’s going well and I
will get there before eleven

what

2.423 : 6/30/06 : Stealing Time

Maybe truly all it is
stealing time between the moments
mark an instant mark a thought
my friends my fellow Romans
This isn’t any revelation
no display of genius
I’m stealing time like anyone
before the clocksmen come to clean us
the page of history has been
wiped clean before and will again
and stealing time may be a vice
but I’m convinced it is no sin
just slipping in a sly aside
before my chariot arrives
the day gives many moments
the flesh gives many lives

what

2.422 : 6/29/06 : First Last Late

The first will be last
the last will be late
pounding at the gate
how mean won’t you let me in
what harm could it do?
Being foolish isn’t a crime
and it could easily be you
they say there is a point
a secret unrevealed
I wonder what’s the point of that
I’m nothing if not even-keeled
so if I strive to fall behind
just blame it on a parable
the unrevealed truth’s a bitch
alternative is terrible

what

2.421 : 6/28/06 : Hell of Sand

The fantasy returns me to
an air conditioned tomb
how I’ve come to understand
the comforts of a room
of one’s own
Really I’m here
in this hell of sand
there’s no choice
no helping hand
we think we can go anywhere
but this world has murder to spare
for one alone
Dreams of water dreams of ice
in my fractured mind
this shallow grave
becomes a paradise
Surely it can’t last more
than another day
As I remember how
to wait and how to pray
And even in this hell
there is living in the one day
just like any resting stone

what

2.420 : 6/27/06 : Stop

Stop here; get this clear
just another day
none of the problems
going to go away
that’s okay by me
I’ve got a different idea of free
this is just a brief vacation
test run for the recreation
I’m just cooling at the stop
waiting for my ride to drop
dropping lines and notes and verse
waiting’s waiting I’ve had worse
will it be that one or the next
will this be the cannon text
it’s all right by me whatever
I no longer need to be so clever


what

2.419 : 6/26/06 : Life Sucks and Then

Life sucks and then
apparently you die
yet I can’t find a single
person to confirm
it ever passed them by
everyone here is
here forever
it is surely a choice
if you should sever
the connection
to the game
the brain
the mind
the corpse
the same
bad old bad old
interface
I have no fear
I’m here
in this place
 

what

2.418 : 6/25/06 : Continuity

2,610 : 25 ?



Now auditioning
for the position of
continuity
all I need is
a perfect hour
that stretches from
from you to me
to two, too
it might seem like
something got damaged
something got lost
there is always
an agenda
there is
always a cost
this is ten years
this is thirty eight
this is ten seconds
let that egg wait
half an hour
halfway healed
fill the position
the gap
unannealed

what

2.417 : 6/24/06 : Venom

The way its been
the past few days
the venom and
the tricks it plays
the moments slip
like glycerine
like mercury
the shape I’m in
the moment’s salt
dissolved in acid
jingle bells’
agreement tacit
this too this too
this too shall pass
and moments further
it’s just a class
of experience
reset the system
some branch pinched
at its stem

what

2.416 : 6/23/06 : Old New

Will I ask why
as I
expire once again
twenty three years the last time
this time only
ten
eleven
twelve days of this
mass hysteria
skin pales
on a bed of nails
while the black box chirps
Where ya
at
home
sweet
home on my
death bed
not alone
pushing through
day one day one
this old
new life
barely done

what

2.415 : 6/22/06 : Double Feature

Double feature while the universe collapses
meanwhile the buildup of the plaque on my synapses
Turns me into just another advocating fool
Highly suitable as just another tool
for the business classes
And all that smack I once believed seems so simplistic
And the voice keeps telling me to give up and be realistic
Eat my vegetables and exercise and save
Forget about a world where I am not a slave
to these lures of light and lipstick
Sometimes I almost feel that you could say I’ve demonstrated
A hint of something strong in this long list I’ve created
But when you stack it up it doesn’t reach so high
And I’m still fighting off the wolves, I’m still gonna die
And in this moment I just grind my teeth unsated

what

2.414 : 6/21/06 : Destination

Past concern of quality
past haste and hesitation
is that sacred destiny
is that my destination?
surely I feel better that it’s done
still know it’s always just begun
A lot of smack do I
deserve some recognition
a lot of worry over
whether it’s just repetition
Oh my are my perfect snowflakes all the same?
Oh my is it really all just a game?
I suppose I’ll wind up in this boat again
drifting in some current of regret
I suppose you will not be much help again
I suppose I’ll take what I can get
I’d like to say it’ll be different next time
and I suppose that wishful thinking
is not a crime

what

2.413 : 6/20/06 : The Box

The contents of the box
have been exhausted of
all value
self referring
deep recursive
sick as hell
unlikely to enthrall you
gentle
putative customer
rest assured
You’re just a rumor
the box it seems
ran out of memes
ran out of images
and clever jack
and yet somehow
from then to now
I managed to throw
another decade on the stack

what

2.412 : 6/19/06 : Same Difference

It’s the same
difference as always
look who dances
look who pays
there’s nothing really
to it I guess
I spent the first third of my life
trying to get a brick wall
to say yes

what

2.411 : 6/18/06 : Nothing Will Happen, Nothing Will Change

2,602 : 17 ?


Nothing will happen
nothing will change
no matter how the deck chairs
on great spaceship earth
you rearrange
The scale of time is far beyond us
our actions of no consequence
the sun will swell to eat the earth
This cursed race
will vanish long hence
Still greedy
Still hateful
Seldom happy
Seldom grateful
Informed by dark designs
Some matter dark and strange
nothing’s going to happen
nothing’s going to change
I will not light a candle
I won’t say a prayer
we all deserve what
we’ve got coming when we get there

what

2.410 : 6/17/06 : Vague Recollection

Vague recollection
of some ineffectual reflection
I suppose
this is gonna be
another one of those
a day that passed
too many hours ago
I don’t need recollection
really do I to know
some sort of gathering
some sort of thought or plan
I’ll be damned if I didn’t just
forget it all again
am I seeking some point
in this monstrous pack of lies
or am I just dancing
for imaginary eyes?

what

2.409 : 6/16/06 : Anger Can’t Carry

Anger can’t carry it off in the long run
It just burns insensible beyond control
It never got me anywhere you couldn’t call it fun
And it’s tough as hell to stop once it’s on a roll
Sadness it seems fathomless some days
the rolling sea of sad expired humanity
such a conflagration such a holy blaze
such a seeming meaningless insanity
I’m still here so I guess I found a method
I can’t help feeling like I missed the mark
So many days and nights I restless searched and quested
looking for just one sure brilliant spark
What sort of spectacle is this it makes me angry just to think
So much work and worry so close to the brink
And if anger cannot carry through
I don’t know what is pushing anymore
and not one word of it is true
and there’s a lock on every door

what

2.408 : 6/15/06 : Tiny World

Look a this tiny world
I live in now
tiny cars
tiny rooms
with a tiny cough
I break my vow
of silence
Not much silence
but I make the best
of what I’ve got
some get ice in the wintertime
some get it when it’s hot
I gotta break out
of my tiny room
but it’s complicated see
I gotta figure out
how to take some people
with me

what

2.407 : 6/14/06 : Order to Desist

Among the voices is an
order to desist
demand a reckoning
of why I must persist
I couldn’t tell you
just obey what’s at the forefront
ignore the orders of
that bedroom dwelling elephant
will it ever be transcribed
or molder in the pages
does it deserve to be discovered
or vanish down the ages
will I find my way again
or did I really ever
It’s all for the wrong reasons
Picked the wrong
offending hand to sever
I ignore the order
not today you rotten judge
Another just a few more
hours toiling in the sucking sludge

what

2.406 : 6/13/06 : The Furious Torrent

The furious torrent
of thoughts abhorrent
it seems it’s always on tap
but activating my thinking cap
does not produce the desired effect
does not engender fine respect
bur I’ve got just one sad objective
figure it out if you can
Mr. Detective
Nobody will ever hear the fucking thing
No matter how you choose
to trip the spring
bloody minded obstinate fool
Mother Nature’s power tool
hell I just decided to unleash the flow
and I don’t even care where it may go
I lost the thread of it before I started
Maybe somewhere in the baggage I carted
Gate to gate searching for the platform
Looking for a grate to huddle keep me warm

what

2.405 : 6/12/06 : What Do I Do Now?

Should I build up the callous on my playing hand
should I try to get attention for my big grandstand
I’m sorry that I tried to eat your sacred cow
won’t you please tell me what do I do now
Should I write all the songs I shoulda writ before
Should I run wild until I break down every door
I swear to you I’m ready to hitch up the plow
I’m just waiting on you to tell me what do I do now
I’ve tried a lot of this and that
Way too much of the others
I couldn’t even tell you
I can’t even find my druthers
Should I concentrate on what I want or ought
should I just keep thrusting till I hit the spot
Should I take it to the ‘net have a blazing row
Maybe the mass mind could tell me what do I do now
I gotta guess I’ll just do just the same
It doesn’t seem to matter if I choose to play the game
Better watch your blind spot cause this ain’t no final bow
Guess we’ll all just have to wait
to see what I do now

what

2.404 : 6/11/06 : Back to Reality

2,595 : 10 ?


Back to reality
another song, another day
it might seem
I’ve always felt this way
but the truth of the deep
is day by day
the payment is steep
but you pay to play
I lay one brick down
yeah I lay another
I’ll lay a beat down
on your mother
oh no you di’unt
Oh snap I did
naw man
that’s just a metadis
it’s all good, kid
I just had to check in to
opine
that there’s only one day
and today is mine so I
snap back to reality

what

2.403 : 6/10/06 : The New Leaf

Hear a voice callin’ out inna wilderness
I’m about to give you the business
Cause the day of the Lord comes inna night like a thief
and you cannot turn back from the new leaf
The message as old as Kingdom Come
Love with all heart and soul and hammer that drum
Cause you’ve saved up a bitter aperitif
And there’s no second chance at the new leaf
Give it all up give it all up to God
You’ll find that trouble strikes you like a lightning rod
but the rule is there is strife, trouble, grief
but there’s nothing that can stop the new leaf
It’s almost all got itself written down
my contribution’s so tight I should wear a golden crown
I’m staring your ass down like Lee Van Cleef
righteous in the advent of the new leaf
right now I must admit it’s all just words
but somewhere out there’s music that somebody’s heard
I fancy something with a leitmotif
evocative of none so much as the new leaf

what

2.402 : 6/9/06 : New the Leaf

New the leaf greening
the whole world
is springing
the codes are
untwisting
old winter
is listing
and soon crashes
and melts
the little green men
shake the dew
from their pelts
and we all dance
hand in hand
welcome again
good spring land

what

2.401 : 6/8/06 : The Lean Woof

Eternity’s loom
strung warp with time
weft is human
chattering
best described as rhyme
I fear the lean woof
attenuates to point of breaking
this just an explanation
aside
of this esoteric
path I’m taking

what

2.400: 6/7/06 : Wait for the Call

The hardest
hardest
advice of all
a fortune-cookie
fortune
wait for the call
I groaned in
frustration
so clearly
mystified
while the
celestial post-it
that I wrote myself
I eyed
I only tell the story
for the context true
for with
the new leaf
this whole thing
had not a thing
to do

what

2.399 : 6/6/06 : Easy Access

The tunnel labeled easy access
the designation was deceptive
it should have been the road more traveled
it should have been play follow the collective
it should have been the path of least resistance
it should have been hey danger fucker
I should have known when it all began
that I had drawn the card of sucker
I asked the sphinx for decent money
a chance to dream of the brass ring
sure God I never wanted fame
but fortune was another thing
I turned my back on that wide gate
And sought only the narrow winding
and in another 333 days
I’ll be amazed at what I’m finding

what

2.398 : 6/5/06 : Clearest Possible Memory

What a sign
appears to me
light and fog
the bare branches of a tree
remembering
that I was remembering
while I was a’ Maying
thinking on
long gone Decembering
the clearest possible
memory
showed the whole of
the sad parade to me
and I said ha
see my spirit is free
spread my hand
count ‘em how many do you see
Not knowing I was
remembering a certain day
when I stood fast
and set down
the new way

what

2.397 : 6/4/06 : Rope

2,588 : 3 ?


It’s said
the first abstraction
was knots in a cord
but what a reaction
we counted days
we counted sheep
we counted our own fingers
and then things got deep
what I couldn’t do
with another length of rope
tie up every loose end
tie up every hope
tie that fucking box up
and Pandora too
I’ll get to that bitch later
but this length of rope’s
for you

what

2.396 : 6/3/06 : Time

The whole thing is
clearly a critique of time
The principle of getting by
the past when it’s sublime
no earthly way of knowing
when the verse was cast
except it wasn’t from the future
must be from that
sublime past
I count the clock
in a thousand ways
I measure out my coffee spoons
in tarnished bygone days
I’m surely screwing up
but none of it’s a crime
so kindly step behind me
and just give me enough time

what

2.395 : 6/2/06 : Flashback

Flashback
a decade
a double
the home team won again
and we dance
for their trouble
in a room
in a room
in a building
flash forward
to this
lily I’m gilding
I just want to push it through
and finally come to do
what I keep saying I’ll do
There is a sign
on the door
maximum occupancy
just one
time
more

what

2.394 : 6/1/06 : Kill the Worm

Tonight I’m going to drink the absinthe
straight
no water and no sugar
no sir
just bitter bitter bitter
track down my tongue
I’ve figured how it has to
go sir
Tonight I’ll play it sure
and firm
Tonight I’m gonna
kill the worm
Today you know I got
a sign
Told me that I had to wait
for the call
I wrote it on a scrap I found
be patient you can have it
all, all
Tonight I’ll isolate
the germ
tonight I’m gonna
kill the worm

what

2.393 : 5/31/06 : Align

I try to align
every vector that
strives to diverge
I try to resist
I pantomime a struggle
with this devil’s urge
declare a truce
a day or three
finds me slipping
wondering the use
wonder at my
white knuckle gripping
will this be it
the time the balance
gets pushed past
the barrier or pit
the obstacle I call out
just myself
at last

what

2.392 : 5/30/06 : Parsimony

The principle of
parsimony
Occam’s razor, all that
three part harmony
what could not be expressed
in any verse
what I could not fake
I could not rehearse

what

2.391 : 5/29/06 : Easy Money (2)

It’s all the same thing
it’s all the same story honey
trying to forget the dream
of the easy money
we think it would change everything
assured that it would not
if you want to change
everything
learn to be satisfied
with what you’ve got
this is the new
American Dream
Get your hands on enough
to say fuck you all
In that spirit I threw a lot of shit
so sad not one bit of it
stuck to the wall
And I tell myself I have to
learn to give it up
but the easy money keeps
telling me to live it up

what

2.390 : 5/28/06 : Vacation

The need for a vacation
is the proof that the whole nation
must be eternally
founded on a fundamental lie
prosperity is an invention
wealth is just a cruel convention
still I hump after it just
like anybody else don’t I?
I want a long vacation
from necessity and ideation
I want a magic ticket
golden lotto sure you pick it
I’ll base the number on my date of birth
and my fantasy net worth
and the date of the first day of creation
spend it all on the final vacation

what

2.389 : 5/27/06 : Strong as Death

Bind me like a seal
across your heart
some things never end
but all things must have their start
And at the long long day’s end
with waking’s drifting breath
I whisper
there’s but one thing
strong as death
this is no brief candle
it’s a forest fire
and if I said it
didn’t frighten me
I’d be a liar
but love is strong as death
so how could I deny
this new day
this new way
henceforth this:
you and I

what

2.388 : 5/26/06 : Five

Five tours around the sun
Since I said you forever
were the one
since you said
despite everything
I, thee
with this ring
I’m ready for
a thousand more
I never looked back
my life’s a thousand times
more full
since you joined me
on this track
so as we three
go traveling on
to someone else’s start
I offer all I ever had
a thousand times
my heart 
 
what

2.387 : 5/25/06 : More Clear

The bit of carrion
I’ve been circling for days
finally appears
that’s not zen my friend
just avoidance
just distraction
and it seems this dumb
confessional is
never going to end
suppose it all could be made
a lot more clear
so here’s the reader’s digest
version:
I’ve had it up to here
I took a week’s vacation
‘Cause I gave up something bad
And now I’m scrambling
trying to prove
it’s not just a fad

what

2.386 : 5/24/06 : Every Tree

My eyes see every tree
my eyes see every leaf
but memory
that liar
steals them steals them
like a thief
leaving just a green blur
a scenic little plaque
leaving finally nothing
leaving finally black
My eyes reveal a pattern
I ponder while I sleep
but in the glaring light of day
I suffer mission creep
thank God these wells have
lids on them
So I can close them tight
So I can shut my
eyes against your
ever present light

what

2.385 : 5/23/06 : Mark on Me

I relate how
great it is to be
sweating for the lack
of an illusory desire
Every last man
says hmm I understand
some have even tasted
this exquisite fire
It’s all part of it I guess
but I resent the
loss of privacy
It forces me to be honest yes
so hell with it all hey
I’m still alive I see
and that’s just
the tiny
inconsequential tale
of striving for some
new freedom
within a self-constructed jail
some afternoon
that will soon be gone from
memory but
if the plan stays together
it will leave a lasting
mark on me

what

2.384 : 5/22/06 : Proven True

Proven true
in the past tense
a week hence I’ll
prove to you
say two days more
Still hold that door
make no mistake
it is without satisfaction
that I announce
posthumously
the triumph of
this rearguard action
he said I wrote
in coded verse
he’s onto me
I spat a curse
It’s just that I so often
have to travel round in time
it messes with my
clarity
but it makes for
solid rhyme


what

2.383 : 5/21/06 : Million Five

2,574 : 3 ?


Divide a million and five
by three
if you did your math right
the remainder is me
it’s so easy to call the last
So hard to stick the first
So I just clench my eyes shut
and go in hard
expecting the worst
retrospective is a luxury
the lesson’s painful
at least the instruction’s free

what

2.382 : 5/20/06 : Rapid

Rapid deployment
I’ve got gainful employment
sweep in sweep out
sort you rebel
leave no doubt
equipped with the finest
naught but a trail of dust
behind us
It’s a dirty job
but I like it
see it
go forth
and strike it
I spent half my life
thinking about the
categorical imperative
when I saw that
trope had failed
it really hit me where I live
but now I have a mission
oh
now I have a place
and so
you’ll go
without a trace

what

2.381 : 5/19/06 : Cup

Ring every bell that’s set before you
shake every pillar;
heaven may still ignore you
catch up again or fall behind
check with a mirror over your mouth
looks like you’re still in the same bind
things take time also attention
and a thousand little details
they forgot to mention
there’s no such thing as desire
there’s no such thing as will
magnetism drives it all
that’s a bitter pill
why should I care if
I was born without a purpose
why should I care when
I can get by on the surplus
inside me there’s some tuning fork
that I can not shut up
some devil child who won’t act
happy with his half full cup

what

2.380 : 5/18/06 : Hegemony

Hegemony:
I’m not the only
one who’s
striking that bell
Plutocratic
I’m ecstatic
to find everything
that ever rose
it also fell
just a scribble
that ends on a note
not foul not fair
I can feel it
almost unpeel it
it’s something something
something in the air

what

2.379 : 5/17/06 : Peak

One day maybe the power will go off
and never come back on again ever
Some say we’ve reached our peak
Some say we won’t be stopped never
the dangers seem to grow right along
with the power to overcome
I could almost say
it seems meant to be that way
but then everyone would think I’m
dumb
is this the peak?
are we on the downhill
are we picking up speed
but not the clues we need
Are we ever gonna synthesize
the magic pill
feels more like a trough to me
I know it isn’t what they mean
all I know
there ain’t much I can do
but wait and see
what really could
replace the machine

what

2.378 : 5/16/06 : Big Bug Bop

There’s a bug band
that plays in bug land
plays every night of the week
with bugs playing horns and drums and jugs
in a little bug joint in Chesapeake
they play a style
all that moonlit mile
is filled so every bug will stop
to take a listen to that smooth smooth sound
they call the big bug bop
one night at ten
the bugs were playing again
wand they hit an old vaudeville tune
well it seems some bugs it sort of took them back
to a bad trip to the moon
and he jumped up shouting
and there’s no doubting
he might have raised an awful mess
but the band just revved up that
big bug bop
and pretty soon the kid couldn’t care less

what

adjustments

So I spent some time recently engaged in a few minor experiments of self-promotion on this thing, and having done that and observed the effects I think I'm done with that and going back to "fairly secret" mode.

Quite long ago now when I started the first Songs of Days project it was at the suggestion of another individual, and the primary intent was that some of them would be set to music and played with a band (or at least a friend).  I think my aspirations of being in a band, never robust to begin with, have seen their final, basically peaceful expiration.  I don't have a friend to play with at the moment, and the fact is that I'm just not making music these days.  I sing experimental versions of various songs to myself as I go about my business, I'm in the midst of a collaboration on something that proceeds at a glacial pace, and I am accepting that I'm not actually looking for anything else right now.  I don't know if I'm likely to later, but all predictions are a sucker's game.

In the meantime this writing became something else to me, a thing with a much less clear object.  I work out extremely spare textualizations of various ideas, philosophies, narratives in the pages.  I persist in a goal that has become a self-contained abstraction, at times feeling as if I am subjecting my own conception of goal-ness to some sort of stress test.  The daily posting isn't going away and the daily writing isn't going away.  I thought a couple of people might wonder where intermittent tweets or the "Media Empire" posts on Plus had gone, and this is the answer: They're gone.  The songs are occupying the place they have long found their level at and I'm otherwise moving my attention elsewhere.

2.377 : 5/15/06 : Exactly What You’re Looking For

I’ve got exactly what you’re
looking for right here
close your eyes and hold your
breath and it will just appear
when you’re least expecting it
when you’ve lost all hope
you’ll spot my freak flag flying
when you raise your periscope
I don’t expect things to go easy
For everything to change overnight
I expect a thousand unexpected turnings
and still I plan to taste a little sweet delight
Doesn’t this seem like just
exactly what you’re looking for
Doesn’t it seem like you’re
the same person who opened the door
don’t you believe it
we all leave something on the other side
we all keep looking endlessly
we’re just along for the ride

what

2.376 : 5/14/06 : False Dawn

2,567 : 10 ?


Another
false dawn
another
false sun rising
the excuses at this point
no longer strike me
as surprising
but the
demolition orders
are unambiguous
there’s no room to equivocate
or try to act inconspicuous
I thought I’d left behind
this counting game
I found something behind it
they never gave a name
so breathe out
blow the false dawn away
recall the best laid plans
of we little mice
gang aft agley
close your eyes
suppress the urge to yawn
and open wide your arms
to the false dawn

what

2.375 : 5/13/06 : Revelations

The revelation is not what you think
it wasn’t really what he
put in the drink
if today it is not today
count on that anyway
the only real way
to push push on
another day dollar or
sure another song
When I add it all up
I’m still ahead
still not quiet
still not dead
still quick and nimble
rash and strong
and hey today
another and another song
early riser or
good old night owl
you won’t catch me
throwing in the towel
as long as the breath burns revelation
the revelator will
remain at his station

what

2.374 : 5/12/06 : Finality

I seek finality
it’s plain as punch you see
when granted parity
I hold my own with the best and the most free
I thought I’d write about it briefly
try to skirt its complexity
dance around like a bumblebee
watch my ass shake the dictionary
wrap it up just like an eschatology
I’m laying words down like a spelling bee
and when the last line strikes you mentally
you’ll understand I’m the original fat J.C.

what

2.373 : 5/11/06 : Forge

I’m building a forge
that cranks out song
will you come with me
will you come along
yeah nothing looked real
it all sounded like plastic
I came along with my
elastomer mind
and invented elastic
watch the fire burn
watch it crank out rhyme
watch me create anything
just give me enough time?
will I make it through?
blow it out the top?
will I find
the final rhyme
and still refuse to stop?

what

2.372 : 5/10/06 : Mirror Mask

Mirror mask
look within
the reflection of
a perfect place to begin
it’s never enough
he spat as he smoked
I’ll have the last laugh
guess that means
you’ll tell the last joke
it all comes to
the same thing in the end
the same apostrophe
the same around
the same bend

what

2.371 : 5/9/06 : Consciously Unconscious

Can you forget that
you’re remembering
when the ghosts of the past
you’re disassembling
Cause in dimension N
everything lives again
You can touch the sad sad memories
that you’re dismembering
it doesn’t come easy
it doesn’t come fast
a dozen complications
but it comes at last
when Jon the revelator
lays a beat on this:
the feeling of the clinging
to the precipice

what

2.370 : 5/8/06 : Scrape Down the Side

Scrape down the side
of the bowl of
batter
Get every drop of it
cause one day it might matter
One will call the spot an end
another a beginning
observe them well
and it becomes
a compass of who’s winning
but frugal lads like me
don’t care about those contests
Go no time worrying
about the man and all his second bests
I just keep scraping down
amazing look another serving
something to think on
when your
ship of fools gets swerving

what

2.369 : 5/7/06 : Ends the Story

2,560 : 3 ?


Hey so ends that story
stupid story that I told
trying to tell the future
trying to tempt fate oh so bold
I sure don’t know what will come next
I sure don’t like to guess
Though it’s not far out on a limb
to say it’ll be
some kind of mess
Did you read the hundred false endings
did I fool you in the second act
I’ve really got a winning way
lack only discipline and tact
it’s just another story I guess
the story about how it ends
I guess I ought to worry ‘bout
the message that it sends

what

2.368 : 5/6/06 : Leaves

Leaves do not turn singly
but by thousands
millions
billions
trillions
who really knows, though
I’m sure someone would take a
grant to figure it out
I called a day my new leaf
foolish
foolish
vanity of vanities
a thousand and a thousand more
days maybe I’ll figure
a tiny bit more
I doubt
that a thousand lines
of text or something like it
could be worth the
picture in my head
so quick print that mother out
then spike it

what

2.367 : 5/5/06 : Stretch

Winds gusting dusting off
moment that I cough I feel the
serious mistake I made
and the long ago sentience
who my attention bade
I stretch and retch for a recollection
another storybook to add to
the collection
the insurrection
can’t help but be televised
in the corridors of so-called justice
the plan by necessity revised

what

2.366 : 5/4/06 : Pumpkin Shines

Fun times and pumpkin shines
and rainbow unicorns
and twiddle bats who wear red hats
and play enchanted doodlehorns
the little stream that runs all through
is filled with twinkleberry juice
in the magic land ruled by
the purple king goose
Bouncing balls and upside-down falls
and dancing fuzzy bearlets
you can dance with them
and prance with them
and wander anywherelets
arrive by underwater train
and leave by space balloon
and all the happy friends you find
hope that you’ll come back soon

what

2.365 : 5/3/06 : Purge

Don’t be afraid to
purge
fear not
don’t fight the urge
the factor left
until now
unreported
the Magdelene
and the
reaction she sported
nobody ever told
if she touched
just that she was
told not to
I suspect a purge
must have
followed wherever
she got to

what

2.364 : 5/2/06 : Exhaustion

Exhaustion
I’m beating out
it’s Faustian
how it all keeps coming about
have another bone
find out how bad it is
I’m here regardless
this is my business
it’s got a go somewhere
some days you run
some days you don’t
some will
some absolutely won’t
when I feel exhaustion
time for another pill
stolen from the ones
who went before
they’re paying for it
still

what

2.363 : 5/1/06 : A Prayer

I only
vested one
prayer today
I didn’t think about
her sister
so what do you want
me to say
this ain’t about me
this is about
something bigger
it should be
enough that I prayed
don’t you
figure?

what