2.796 : 7/8/07 : Distance

2,988 : 9 ?



Surely I have sung of distance
many times and many
times before what with
Descartes and all
extension
what with every
well-remembered door
that shut behind
a universe abandoned
Rocky said it was
the tragedy of life
I’m not so sure
but it’s a key too
slippery to get
my hand on
At the bottom of the cup
half empty and half full’s a
rich man’s game
That I can’t believe I’ll ever play
when I spoke of where
all distance loses meaning
was I gleaning just
how still and silent
I would see it this
day


what

2.795 : 7/7/07 : Glimmer

Glimmer of waking
conversations half heard
not knowing who is spoken to
not knowing every other word
a sign it’s time to leave
this cave of distraction
and deception
time to go where
there is the best of
all possible reception
allow me if you will
this one conceit
that I’m crossing the river
never more to be
the same
allow me to
reintroduce myself
but I will not pretend
that I’m new
to this game

what

2.794 : 7/6/07 : Turning Point

Every point
is the turning point
the universe expands
in all directions
the flashy part
of apotheosis
was the flaming hand
but the main event
was just a lot
of injections
time seems to flow
back and forth
from this moment
they tell me it is all
an illusion
personally I think
I’m there in every
inkling if
that doesn’t add too
much to the
Confusion

what

2.793 : 7/5/07 : Off Center

With a stutter of
images and sound
look at what our little
homegrown empire’s
brought around
So many doorways
I thought I could not enter
thanks for the memos
that arrived
from off center
barely remember
anything all that
specific
that came down from
all points East and
West of the Pacific
just one of many
gifts that broadened
my horizon
every sketch that
came alive for
me to put my
eyes on

what

2.792 : 7/4/07 : All Delete

30, 40, 50 thousand objects
by some definition
dragged into the bin
and rendered all but
invisible
it makes me think about
this scary nation of the
free and what we really
think we mean by
indivisible
In simple acts of housekeeping
just what did we
discard and fail to back up
or replace with something better
who has the time to read it all
who knows perhaps
the secret is there
hidden in some
plain on paper
letter

what

2.791 : 7/3/07 : Dependence

Dependence upon the chaos bell
addicted to its nearness
and it’s a mixed-up tale to tell
loathe to lose the strange
security of falling behind
it must be some bad level
of the juices in my mind
on fire to ditch dependence
and leap on this gospel train
get with the holy spirit
flush this habit down the drain
I racked up quite a debt
to Caesar gambling on that chase
but look up from that table
I’ve got on a different face

what

2.790 : 7/2/07 : Wreck the Wrack

2,982 : 3 ?



Wreck the wrack
the vestiges
the tower, the stack
invest and choose
to clear a way
the shuttered tangle
the stark array
gets a new angle
build the new
inspired foundation
shining fruit of ideation
on the plain
scraped clean and flat
erect this train
roll out like that

what

2.789 : 7/1/07 : Eradicate

Eradicate all traces of
weak rationalization
Draw every ounce of energy
around an act of grim creation
grasped within the inmost heart
this human lot is sour
I overturn the vinegar
and here declare my hour
a thousand and a thousand
pages turned like sand descending
however narrow the bottleneck
this timebound time is ending
now push until the stone surmounts
drink till all thirst is sated
all partial, all conditional
will be eradicated

what

2.788 : 6/30/07 : Trivia

Sweating and cursing the trivia
screwing the spirit of
a motivating postcard
as if it makes a difference
as if it’s gonna
get me past the longest yard
I can’t stand stressing the eschaton
global warming peak oil the bomb
faced with what you cannot
know or control
what can I put up but
some grace and aplomb
am I navigating
some middle course
grim spectre of mediocrity
trying to come up
with some fresh hell
some better tale of
this boy in the city

what

2.787 : 6/29/07 : Walks

Bullshit walks but
walks are not bullshit
shoot for twice a day
little man makes
me just do it
I feel the subtle giddiness
of self-cannibalization
erase a little at a time
ritual self-ablation
if you don’t walk with me
Lord who will
if you don’t lift me up
I’ll just keep
sinking in the swill
this grim culture war
is sure grinding me down
and I got no
answer to it so
we’ll just keep
walking around

what

2.786 : 6/28/07 : Multiverse Navigator

Multiverse navigator
will you plot my course
Think I’ve got the strength to one
more time get on the horse
who am I fooling
I’ve a thousand
graceless pratfalls left in me
and not an ounce of will
to brave this
politicians’ deft spin sea
So you will get it plain
no matter
how pathetic I may look
better than to succumb
to always ever
dangling off the hook
of what if and why
and regret’s so subtle curse
the price of freedom
so by need I must
navigate this multiverse

what

2.785 : 6/27/07 : Aching

Aching for an oracle
aching for a dream
aching for someone
upright to pull this fucking beam
out of my poor eye socket
out of my aching head
just trying to get it
together
just enough to lie down
in this unmade bed
sometimes I ache for smoke
or a mirror to prove
that I’m awake
sometimes I ache to
sell out
there’s no offer there
to take
at least I’m not yet aching
for the next great
telephone
more of what I’m trying
to get away from
as it is these days
I’m never really alone

what

2.784 : 6/26/07 : Host

Am I the host or the parasite?
am I leaning toward the dark side
or seeing the light?
Am I spamming the server
or spreading enlightenment
is the whole thing greed
fueled by a sense of entitlement?
is a fad no better
than religious delusion?
did the Pokemon descend
with satanic collusion
While Rome gets good and burning
will I tie one on?
start another little enterprise?
Write another song?
I only wanted to pay Caesar’s due
Put a little by
and run away with you
forgive me if I’ve fallen
to the mindset of thieves
this den is thick as
hell with them
and I’m fighting
dry heaves

what

2.783 : 6/25/07 : Falling Apart

They say we’re living
twice as long as any
reasonable expectation
what with the brains
the information, you know
so if we’re
falling apart, well
buying snake oil
or the hard sell
wrecked by stress and toil
It doesn’t matter
if I’m tired
I got a job I can’t
be fired from
but when things blow
I got to go

what

2.782 : 6/24/07 : The Artist

Portrait of the artist as an
underachiever;
liability distracted
lapsed believer
gripped by indecision
heretic or apostate
some days a blockhead
orthodoxy sounds just great
portrait of the artist as
an almost ran
imagine all the pages
that don’t make the master plan
Logic on the sale of
human narrative or thought
convince me it’s much different
from whatever dream you bought
Am I the artist or just
his biographer
is there any lasting value
to these blinks I proffer
If I give it over
will I get another chance
time for a no longer young man
time to learn another dance

what

2.781 : 6/23/07 : The Fuse

There’s so much anger over
nothing every day
there’s so much more important
so much foolish in the way
Oh the time that swiftly passes
oh and how we choose to use
Who decides what sets us off
who is it who lights the fuse
we all think our anger’s righteous
different from the rest
we all look the same from above
failing the same test
the fuse is trimmed a little shorter
every year it seems
blame the weather blame our parents
blame our sullen failing dreams
I am standing up against
this trend of ire and rage
I am standing firm and free
I’m turning my own page
and when the call to join the hate
comes I will just refuse
my cup is running over
and I’m pouring it
down on the fuse

what

2.780 : 6/22/07 : Crash

If you accept it’s not all
crash revolution
what’s the incentive to
turn over a new leaf
and look the old style
snuck in just like a thief
I guess you must have faith in
slow revolution
the dance of real life
defies a simple story
too slow too many
and the logic all askew
makes sense from some angle
but not to me and you
the only common thread
is both tend to get gory

what

2.779 : 6/21/07: Summer of Love

Never will I stand on mediocrity
No matter that perfection’s lash cuts into me
No matter how these moments never ever come back
Or how I must stand to attack after attack
So if the shoe fits despite its lack of style
So what if I sacrifice the gift of guile
I’ll hold out for the shroud that fits like a glove
and declare today anyway my own Summer of Love
Nothing’s left of the old days but stories now
sorry, stories aren’t enough to tow my gospel plow
the day that I was born the crest was well receded
no matter how the hippie holdouts begged and pleaded
and I do not believe these days will come again
illusions that society’s not marked with sin
yet my summer is not simply some eternal trip
and there’s not a million tickets left for this ship
peace threatens peace beckons peace passes understanding
Open your eyes and see what I’m handing
you to hold a moment and pass along
not a riddle not a movement it’s just a song
So I will spool it out no matter what I suffer
I stand up to your acid tongue for my heart is a buffer
I stand until below is as above
in the shining apex of my Summer of Love


what

2.778 : 6/20/07 : What Indeed?

What will replace this
stale old taste
what indeed? what indeed?
what force of nature
could revise my nomenclature
in my time of need
if I just adjust
the inputs
tweak the flows the feed
what will rattle
off the belt
what indeed? what indeed?
like to think I’m
past gestation
after such a long affair
like to think I’d pull
my magic out of
something more solid than air
what indeed
is not an answer
just a comma at the pause
but it must serve
long as I refuse
to invoke the escape clause


what

2.777 : 6/19/07 : The End of the Universe

From the end of the universe
my life’s so much less
than an eye blink
a fraction of an eyelash
gone before there’s
time to think
so what persists and
what collapses
what remains beyond
my little valley
my rutted revision
my weak rendition of Walden Pond
I’m trying hard to end
a habit of coding
foolish proclamation inverse
I’m thinking hard about
being taciturn
stoic and terse
but at the end
of the universe
it will all just seem absurd
to anything that’s left
if anything’s left
to be heard


what

2.776 : 6/18/07 : On Deck

Who’s pacing on the deck
Waiting for their turn up
waiting for me to strike out
get a hit or walk or burn up
when was it me on deck
high school college next week
Once I thought I had it all dicked
how I cannot think or speak
what’s my next strange trip on deck
after scholar, clerk and housewife
two half truths don’t make a whole
all the halves that add up my life
swinging wild at ever pitch
or racking strikes just waiting
for perfection for perfection
how many moments ruined by hesitating
now I think I’m on deck again
do not know the count or inning
Wondering how I’ll play the game
if it’s down to that or winning

what

2.775 : 6/17/07 : Lightening

Lightening up
the enlightening cup
that I choked on anon
hey surprise it’s just gone
I don’t know what I am
not a dig or a slam
I don’t know what I like
so few hours on the mic
as the gray dawn grows bright
as I cry for more light
will the thing become clear?
be revealed, always near?
I felt I had prepared
in the dreams where they stared
at me naked, exposed
in the rules I imposed
but the moment stayed stalled
and the barbs they still galled
but I gathered the lot
and stood dead on the spot
made a fist, hawked and spat
ended it just like that

what

2.774 : 6/16/07 : The Fortnight

After a fortnight
seems nothing had changed
the cravings still rampant
the soul still estranged
I begged for an omen
a signal, a sign
I waited and waited
and scuffed at the line
after a fortnight
I knew in my heart
that I wouldn’t find
a superior start
but I chafed at restriction
I squirmed and I whined
at this cold and revengeful
dish on which I dined
one seven passed
in retreat and withdrawal
another just passed
slouched inert in the hall
and with one third seven
I’ll nail it in hard
there’s no word for it
Just a turn of the card
 
what

2.773 : 6/15/07 : Glutton

The glutton in me scoffs at rules
demands I stand all
hands to tools
and build its platform
build its plate
its stance to raise
its taste to sate
I fed it hate
I fed it lead
I filled its cup
I made its bed
the glutton laughed
and made a grab
for all my viscera
on the slab
but I demurred
held it all in
drew my own knife
and slew that sin

what

2.772 : 6/14/07 : Soul Attachment

My soul attachment
to the armor of my longing
my scratching and my scribing
my stretching and my yawning
I walk the paces off
what’s left of the foundation
dark lines of burned out stone
nothing else left but information
unfold the blueprint
raise the flag of past enchantment
burn those bridges to the ground
then in the name of harsh advancement
my soul attachment
has prefigured every move
as I went about this business
as I settled in my groove
I won’t sever the attachment
I will drag it all along
I will spread it all before you
in my crucible of song

what

2.771 : 6/13/07 : Compelled

Compelled to seize
any opportunity
regardless whether
the spirit is moving me
compelled to summon
perseverance, strength
but not compelled
to have to
go on at length

what

2.770 : 6/12/07 : Day 3

Day 3 when the worm turns
make it official
the tinder catches and burns
I’ve done my day sevens
elevens, my five
did a thousand and one
and this thing’s
still live
it’s time to forget about
setting a date
I’m storming a new paradigm
one up my
second rate
pumping juice into the valance
going to force the quantum
leap
well aware at any
moment
I could tumble
in a heap

what

2.769 : 6/11/07 : King of Today

Begin immediately
do without ado
declare myself king of today
and babe you know
my queen is you
there will be no more
backtrack and revise
no more endless nights
no more veiled lies
So I declare
myself king of today
head librarian of babel
count of the county
watcher of the way
it’s all rolling now
the future manifest
I will be perfect from
now on
a hundred plus on every test
It will come naturally
as well befits a king
I’ll raise my sword
and rush the hill
I will do everything

what

2.768 : 6/10/07 : Time Tunnel

2,959 : 6 ?



It turns out that it’s all about
time
mistaken for seasons mistaken
for reason and rhyme
the secret of how cause and
effect can work without it
is there are no causes and no effects
there’s no more doubt about it
Goodbye time tunnel thanks
for the metaphors
turns out stories were all we ever had
so the hero explores
the riddle of why it seems
always to move in one direction
is that it’s arbitrary, voluntary
and one day will come the insurrection

what

2.767 : 6/9/07 : Surge to Goal!

Ignore the past and
how the moment seems contrived
ignore the bloody outcome
of every other time I strived
to ignore the wails
from the moments that I stole
surge to goal surge to goal
surge to goal!
Defy augury and
flip the bird to fate
Defy my predilection to
just hate and hate and hate
I know my redeemer lives
and looks out for my soul
surge to goal surge to goal
surge to goal!
And in a day or two
when I declare my mission
I will see through every trap
like I had x-ray vision
I will feel the fire inside
and hear every bell toll
surge to goal surge to goal
surge to goal!

what

2.766 : 6/8/07 : Departure

From real to real
It’s all one day
Got the usual hell
and piper to pay
departure reveals
the call of home
the rock that batters
every crashing wave to foam
it takes so long
to cover the ground
and sometimes I cannot
ignore that sucking sound
of that which I
and nature abhor
left behind by the departure
held by such a flimsy door

what

2.765 : 6/7/07 : Ashes to the Sea

Will those ashes make it
to the sea
eventually eventually
from the Great Lake
down the mighty
Mississippi
Past the Gulf of Mexico
to the Atlantic finally
Ashes to the sea
Ashes to the sea
I will put those ashes to the sea

what

2.764 : 6/6/07 : Fugue State

One rise up
one go down
backwards and
upside down
one goes loop
off the track
no one notice
it came back
one goes north
one goes south
one gets muttered
from my mouth
but the fugue state
I described
was nothing to
the pulse I vibed

what

2.763 : 6/5/07 : Dust Bunnies

The dust bunnies gathered
in the corners for a hop
Under beds and in the closet corners
hiding from the mop
no matter how they got swept up
they always reappear
hopping back into their places
when they see the coast is clear
Once there was a boy
who didn’t clean his room for so long
the dust bunnies decided
they would write that boy a song
they gathered in his room
first a dozen then a hundred
and they started with the chorus
“that’s the proper thing” so one said
they sang doolie oolie oolie
dollie doxen dillie day
because when they’re feeling social
that’s what all the bunnies say
and they hopped and danced
and scampered
in that little fellow’s room
living out their happy frolic
until Mommy came with the broom

what

2.762 : 6/4/07 : Flame and Moth

I expect to see an
altogether
duller revolution
the books and their
solutions
such idealistic froth
Society is brainless
drawn and pulled
by tropic triggers
all our gadgets
and kajiggers
really it’s just flame and moth
How long have I written
of the end that
is no end
of the around the next bend
it’s always coming going coming
I bet you’d like to think
it’s just really
another metaphor
I hope to slam that door
with this monotonous
tune I’m humming

what

2.761 : 6/3/07 : Prior Goal

Catching up to the prior goal
now looking like more
gotten behind
I’ll send this flag right up the pole
if you want to understand it
fucking read my mind
who am I really angry with
nobody put a gun to
my stupid head
So I guess I know why this tastes like pith
because I know why I’m
lying in this stupid bed

what

2.760 : 6/2/07 : Wings

Faded shreds of
butterfly wings
shiver in holes
in the rocks
and you’d think
that in this place
a fellow could stop
counting clocks
the water comes
the water goes
erasing edges
by imperceptible intervals
I’m gloomy as the weather
projecting ahead
soon it will be memories
of lighthouses and waterfalls
I wonder if that butterfly
got lucky in the end
before he scattered on the wind
and lodged in some cold niche
I wonder if a lucky
number's out there for me
I feel like I’m entitled
but I know that life’s a bitch

what

2.759 : 6/1/07 : Arrival

Projected ahead two business days
a day out of the long goodbye
a week out of the three week haze
Predict after the fact and above my station
the secret is revealed
we’re on vacation!
we vow to see lighthouses and trains
and when it seems appropriate
Rock out our brains
right there on the foldout
to the sound of great lake waves
And I predict
that the verdict
will just be raves

what

2.758 : 5/31/07 : Lists

A list won’t solve your problems
and here’s the reason why
because just like everybody ever
you are going to die
because you can’t expect
the unexpected every time
because only one in a thousand
spots the shifting paradigm
because thinking isn’t doing
because doing is uncertain
because no list be it oh so subtle
will expose the man behind the curtain
because you’ll list the wrong things
and the order will be random
and you’ll lose nine timely stitches
trying to kill your birds in tandem
because humankind is flawed
because entropy persists
because in the end all it does
is proliferate more lists

what

2.757 : 5/30/07 : The Big Race

Everybody’s running the big race
slowed down by trying to keep up
slowed down by trying to save face
seems like there’s no winner
the finish line’s not marked
and we’re running from the desolation
nightmares our dark ways sparked
a tired old man said I don’t
think we’re really going to make it
some things are just absolute
there’s no way you can fake it
I don’t think there’s any end
at least nothing like that
I don’t think I’ll probably live
to see what gets pulled from that hat
If I gave up everything
went on the missionary trip
would I slow the race down
one iota from this downward slip
and after all of everything
all I can do is hoe my patch
it’s not like it would be the first time
we would have to start from scratch
 
what

2.756 : 5/29/07 : The Lesson

The lesson that was pressed into
the battered mind
the rest that was no rest
and left things more behind
and seemed an intuition
to learn to forbear
and soldier on relentless
steeled to just get there
perhaps it was attachment too
some time that never was
perhaps the adversary
gained dominion just because
perhaps when all is said
there will be time to get all done
perhaps despite it all we’ll
manage to have fun
 
what

2.755 : 5/28/07 : The Rip Off

The rip off goes on and on
every unbalanced load
every stupid song
Every minute I spend
on everyone’s opinion
Every hour I clock
as a hired minion
I steal moments as chance allows
I steal milk from
all you sacred cows
I am part of the big
rip off too
It’s sure I’m ripping someone off
as someone’s ripping you
Hey check if your shoes
were made in China
Hey check that drained swamp
North of Carolina
The real rip off artists
run the beltway
you’ll hear a line or two
about it
on a slow news day

what

2.754 : 5/27/12 : Perspective

2,946 : 2 ?



A thousand worlds
of nuclear fire
93 million miles
it’s a coin on an invisible wire
that’s perspective
that’s our illusion
the geocentric paradigm
the churches in collusion
a core of iron
molten and magnetic
forged in the supernova heart
expelled by some cosmic emetic
that’s poetry
the layman’s semi-science
the life that I did not pursue
but cling to in defiance
without the sun all life will die
yet we take it for granted
think it moves across the sky
I think my thoughts
knowing thoughts is all they are
knowing I can’t know but a fraction
of the secrets of any star

what

2.753 : 5/26/12 : Vice

There’s no rule in nature
but do as you do
but we’re not like the others
it’s objectively true
thus we invent morality
thus we invent vice
it’s probably pushed us ahead
but carries a strange price
If just for one moment
I could get past right and wrong
and see who I was before
I ever heard this world’s song
then I would be enlightened
and beyond deceit or vice
I’m sure it will take the first time
I won’t have to see it twice

what

2.752 : 5/25/12 : Trance

And this trance, this dance
just continues
despite better intentions
mature wisdom
better venues
This bliss all amiss
Keeps expanding
I fear it’s crowding out
the ground I need for standing
I cross my heart swear to start
In just a moment or two
when it feels right
I’ll go over the side with you
Into the trance true romance
and boundless opportunity
and pray to God
they’ll offer me immunity

what

2.751 : 5/24/12 : The Seal

I refuse to put the seal
of any sort on it
Experience the moment
try to be less full of shit
everything just must be
what it is and nothing else
wait for the moment
pass it
I wait for the bells
I am free
I do what I will
I am free
with all my choices
what’s it matter if
I thought it out
or merely heard voices
I refuse to mark
that void
with some great seal
I’ll cross the bridge
when it comes
and not brook
any other deal

what

2.750 : 5/23/07 : Ass Full of Laser

ensign awoke
with a discharged phaser
knew that he had
bought himself
an ass full of laser
he know he should not
have volunteered
for the mission with the
principals
had ended just as he’d feared

what

2.749 : 5/22/07 : Anticipation

It’s all about anticipation
heaven is
anticipation unending
bathing in
continuous revelation
the vast signal
of love unending
you gotta do
what you gotta do
but you gotta make your own decisions
you make a persuasive
argument
but the business plan
is mired
in endless revisions
one last time
it will be pure
so keep your memories
to yourself pops
I’m just trying to
explain
this anticipation
that never stops

what

2.748 : 5/21/07 : Belief

Said a thousand times
Someday will be a
million
it is not a matter of
belief
no and no matter
the billion
adherents
to some old display
of dark torment
and glory
And do you still not
realize
it’s all just all
about the story
dark comes late
and I’m in haste
you thought you’d
heard about that
it was just a taste
and as long
as my numbers add up
I’ll complete my line
secure in my
belief that
it will all be fine

what

2.747 : 5/20/07 : Haste

2,938 : 12 ?



Haste makes waste
and one hasty SOB
rushing to the next
minimalist folly
I pray to God that
Someone’s praying for me
but the night’s still young
and I’ll get by pro’ly
I always gotta
Set some task
Some little hill
I can climb up
I always hope
I’ll peel off the last mask
stand and speak
‘cause it’s my dime up
I try to step back
and observe the flow
but the dragon I’m training
is so wily
next time hey
maybe I’ll just aim low
or may just not
aim quite so highly

what

2.746 : 5/19/07 : Premonition

I’ve got a premonition
despite forward and backward
addition
the thing will pan out to
a zero sum
I’ll feel a little satisfied
I’ll feel a little dumb
My mind is all elsewhere
my mind’s on the
Cough cough cough
I’m well past the point
I can twist up a joint
and blow the whole thing off
But I’m determined
to defy augery
and trace a straight line
foul weather or fine
defying more mere
cog-ery

what

2.745 : 5/18/07 : Character

What is the character of
presence, presentiment
what is the character
of change
You can’t avoid
the math
profit and loss equivalence
you have to sacrifice
it’s
accuracy or range
Good luck soldier
I hope you
find your man
I cannot rest until
my train refrain
is in the can
seems like it’s all
going nowhere fast
but I gotta keep pedaling
and roll the present
to the past

 what

2.744 : 5/17/07 : Leave It To the Prophets

Leave it to the prophets to
interpret God’s will
Leave it to me to fail to
Forget about the bitter pill
leave it to the newsmen
to tell who where what and when
Another May’s more than halfway
and my time’s come to begin again
Leave me alone and
don’t disrupt my inner boil
downside and upside
nothing comes without the alchemy of toil
I am a diplomat a psychonaut
I’m brimming with deceit
but who gets fooled and sees through
I guess you’ll have to wait
with this accursed stone
I’ll raise a tower of pain
I’ll never whisper how
I wove it from a sad refrain
the dreams run rampant
full of fearful pride and light
you better mind your shit
‘Cause I’ve not yet begun to fight

what

2.743 : 5/16/07 : No Guarantee

Things that are no guarantee
past performance, authority
bold pronouncements Secret Plans
prohibition, abstinence and bans
I know well enough the writing on the wall
I can hear the screams all the way up the hall
You know I am simply not involved
And left it there while the world revolved
around an axis that was tipped
So many times how hard I tripped
Experience provided no guaranty
Until one minute ago I was blind but now I see

what

2.742 : 5/15/07 : The Thousand Leaves

The promise of what’s gone before
today’s a blank page nothing more
and if I’ve strained this metaphor
permit me one last four by four
The thousand leaves whip in the wind
the order God will not rescind
the prophecy to which I’m pinned
beneath the skin my stark skull grinned
to think about the childish ploys
dishonest prayers of jealous boys
desiring sense of self through toys
and soon moved on to darker ploys
that leaves me trying to find the thread
I might as well I’m still not dead
to misquote what Kaligula said
from where I sit I’m still ahead

what

2.741: 5/14/07 : Lemon Yellow Bic

Lemon yellow bic
caught spark on the second click
got right on that
thing I said I didn’t like no more
I don’t like that
anymore
Haven’t given it a thought
until this moment
I lay in grass
on a hill
looking up at wires
and stars
and the fires
that go out
one by one
there’s not another
bullet in the gun

what

2.740 : 5/13/07 : Sneak

2,931 : 5 ?



I’m gonna sneak one more in
somewhere on the borderline
between late and later
I know it’s a crummy idea
and won’t be all that
but hey don’t be a hater
I’m stuck on the idea now
and anyhow it can’t really
be everything that I fear
it was just coincidence
the kind like always
trips us up between there
and here

what

2.739 : 5/12/07 : The Point I Didn’t Reach

So this is the place I didn’t reach
the other evening
I wonder just how far
behind I am now anyway
I wonder what hides behind
the end of every day
crews of daemons
cleaning up the loose ends
seeing things that
take me back to school days
I’m not such a fool
these days
I’d like to think
but I’m screwing up
committing it to ink
but if you’ll just bear up with me
for another thousand
songs or so
I’ll show you
clear as daylight
where I mean
this thing to go

what

2.738 : 5/11/07 : Crash Course

Another crash course in survival
the projects are getting
way too archival
but the record must be kept
one way or another I guess
I just wanted to know
that the answer can
still be “yes”
And what will I have learned
at the end of another
20 hours that burned
burnt out on the grind
brother
But I gotta stick to it
make my mark
guarantee continuation
with another Lazy Spark


what

2.737 : 5/10/07 : Hitter

Hitter spitter tried
I couldn’t hit her
Tracer facer
Thought so hard
I couldn’t trace her
If I can get called up
to the organization
you know I’m gonna turn
around my situation
poser closer jumped
you down like a dozer
ender sender nothing
but an intender

what

2.736 : 5/9/07 : Virtual Pet

I bet I’m a virtual pet
to some fucking alien
I bet they’re slamming in quarters
hope the points are sailing in
I hope I’m entertaining
hope they got their money’s worth
so they keep on diverting
asteroids from hitting earth
hey fucker don’t forget to feed me
don’t fuck with my kid
ha ha asshole what you
gonna do about it if I did
I bet you wish you’d rolled me
different picked another class
be patient cause my next trick’s
Gonna knock you on your ass
When it flashes Game Over
Nobody gonna hit reset
but you’ll think about
our game sometime I bet
And as for that poor fucker
I’m replaced by
Make that fucker suffer
give a polish to that amber
I’m encased by

what

2.735 : 5/8/07 : Coast of Maine

One day I’ll stand
at the furthest point East
on the coast of Maine
I thought I had so much
to be afraid of
so much pain
I had a rush without substance
or special technique
I’m gonna rock this
motherfucker down to Chesapeake
then drive wild
all night up the
Coast of Maine
Run run rebel scum
refuse to conform
or obey authority
admit submit
to the domain
of our plurality
if the fuckers start
to march down
from Toronto
You know we Minnesotans
Gonna hit that pronto
We’ll give them New England

what

2.734 : 5/7/07 : Single Minded Path

The automaton goes stumbling on
it’s single minded path
so hesitant it seems that it
must be alive but in the aftermath
the wreckage will reveal it
just bamboo sailcloth and twine
don’t pity the automaton
but I confess I’d love to make it mine
The drunken ambling anonym
describes his random walk
I suffer flashbacks of Lord Jim
inscribing it in chalk
and there’s so little I recall
of those long expired days
my own path has had so many
minds to talk it’s plumb astray
I envy the automaton
it’s empty single mind
while I transcribe this circle
and the dreams are dying on the vine
I’m far from the right attitude
I’m just like all the rest
I can’t figure for the life of me
if I failed or just
forgot to take the test

what

2.733 : 5/6/07 : On Waking

On waking I’ll let out a scream
to protest my descent
protest the loss of this dream
I am high above the rooftops
viewing the topography
arranged in subtle spirals to
suggest autobiography
On waking I will hit it rolling
springing to a crouch
wary to the lead bell’s tolling
I’m the last caucasian ninja
poised to dodge the man’s alert
in a foolish manner thinking
as if I weren’t scratching dirt
doodling nothing’s in God’s margins
waiting for my one line’s cue
on waking I will sigh
open my eyes
and turn to you

what

2.732 : 5/5/07 : Wires

The attenuated nervous system
of the urban core
spilling from the convoluted heart
that beats under the false floor
in the city cellphone spikes
are hidden in the church spires
even out here in the boondocks
you can see they still got wires
If I was in charge you know I’d
call for a great public works
power data transportation
call in all the young tech turks
dig the mass of network tunnels
lay the fiber set the tracks
wind the great superconductor
bundled thousand subtle hacks
Such a drifting Sunday dreamer
so enhanced with lofty flights
Of fancy but this world is dull
and sadly we must pick our fights

what

2.731 : 5/4/07 : Pantheon

God drew the map
time keeps the books
no unfettered fall
all the way down hooks
the devil forever
walks upward and down
and me I’m just glad
to get out of town
and I don’t belong
in the pantheon proper
I’m a back of the chorus guy
sure no show stopper
but Jesus and Buddha
do still take my calls
and I’m still out here dodging
a room with soft walls
not up with Mohammed
or John Revelator
but I’m still here swinging
so suck it you hater

what

2.730 : 5/3/07 : Me and my Little Brain

Me and my little brain will
decode the spaceship signal
and I will be the big hero
that sets the doomsday clock to zero
me and my little brain
will figure out the roulette system
the goodfellas will come for me
the pitboss says you just missed him
I’ll know when to stop just when
my welcome’s turning stale
I’ll roll up my last big score
and before you know my ship will sail
we’ll cure cancer square the circle
world peace and free lunch our work will
shine and just change everything
the bright delight my little brain will bring
Me and my little brain will
build the last cathedral
I’ll sit upon an iron chair
if nothing else it won’t be dull
We’ll bring about the new age
End death end war end pain
Or so it seems imagining
inside my little, little brain

what

2.729 : 5/2/07 : Big Mind, Big Sky

Does the sky contain the mind
or mind contain the sky
does it mean a thing it never came
to me to ask just why?
the shell was formed with certain
contradictions in its skeleton
the bell that you said tolled for me
I said I’m not the only one
Big sky, big mind and neither
one cares to contain the other
it sounds like some pronouncement
from that book I borrowed from my brother
and sun is hidden smeared to grey
behind the clouds of big sky
and my mind seems small as can be
and big mind well I’m not that guy
and knowing there’s no little sky
I sit content beneath that dome
and contemplate my little mind
the only place that I’ve called home

what

2.728 : 5/1/07 : Incision

If my call for assistance
gets intercepted
my application
for transmigration
may never be accepted
If my atonement
gets back ordered
I’ll fall back on
the lost track song
the midnight paradigm it bordered
if my bright light
goes for a random walk
through such dark loops
and dives and swoops
I’ll really start then to fight
If life came knocking always
at the moment of decision
I’ll strike my line
and call it fine
consider it a skilled incision

what

2.727 : 4/30/07 : Reel Spin

Reel spin the clash clatter
if it hits that fan
that shit’ll spatter
If you’re still convinced it doesn’t matter
take it on the chin defiant
as long as the data’s compliant
you’re the little man now
I’m the giant
Everything you choose
is optional
This routine will
leave you with a cop to call
still helpless to stop the fall
Still spin reel wait breathless
dreaming of the
life that’s deathless
cornered but so
very restless

what

2.726 : 4/29/07 : Trip

2917 : 1 ?



Trip city the elevated pretty
the innovation of the essence of ization
metaphorical mack
rise up and dump the stack
Now play it back
What was that station
we’re on a trip to an amazing
turn up the afterglow
while our eyes were glazing
over the moon bright airtight
alibi the born to die will
pass us by while eye to eye
we tear the sky
a new rainbow
on the trip topside
ride
abstractionless revolution
it’s all co-evolution

what

2.725 : 4/28/07 : Narcissus

Narcissus narcissus bending over water
Narcissus bending over the pool
He says I am so fine I am so fine
Reminds me of a boy I had
when I was a fool
I count one narcissus I count two
I count iris and daffodil in bloom
I say I am so wise now I am so wise
for I stay well locked
up in my room
He brings me dandelion
he brings me daisy
He brings me clover purple and white
Oh you wonderful boy you wonderful boy
oh radiant lad so full of light
narcissus narcissus
bending over water
narcissus bending over the stream
He says I am so fine I am so fine
reminds me of a boy I had
but now that’s just a dream
reminds me of a boy I had
but now that’s just a
dream

what

2.724 : 4/27/07 : The Fifth Dimension

The fifth dimension
is life and will
the magic trick looks
so dull from above still
Hear the quaint phrasing
the foolish refrain
of the rookies who chant
wretched cant while I abstain
were you taken aback?
did I come off as kind?
when I lay down my ace
did the snap blow your mind?
Can I take you to task?
Can I offer you tea?
Do I sound like a toff?
Does it make sense to me?
All I try is to see
at right angles to time
keep some kind of beat
and stick close to the rhyme
all I ask is a minute
in an ocean of thousands
to share my sly insight
pipe by tripe like a
boatswain

what

2.723 : 4/26/07 : Hyper Extension

They say the root cause
is that everything takes space
the vector between
a brick wall
and my face
Hyperbolic parabola
hotly bisected
the asymmetry
twist deep in my face reflected
Extension but what if
the extension is hyper
what if all is a code
what if I am the cipher
I’ll play my plain space
at the back of the chorus
and swear not to lose
sight of the trees for the forest
settle content into
my fifth dimension
And dazzle your face
with my glowing intention


what

2.722 : 4/25/07 : Purged

Something made me sad yesterday
turns like a worm but
I forgot it anyway
But the same old situation
turns my rotten head
and it comes out bad
in the end instead
I love my fun my puzzles
and my little noms de plume
and I say a hundred prayers
for every flinch I did inhume
I will never catch up on my sleep
or work out every woe that I submerged
and while it all went to hell
the system rang a bell
then purged
It could all be something simple
just a nasty bit of cheese
all the hours on the couch might have
just been a nap if you please
I have got a lot of patience
even after all these years
but if you want to talk about
you’ll find out
I’m packing heat between my ears


what

2.721 : 4/24/07 : Wind Blow My Love Across the Sea

Say you say you will he be true
They say a sailor can’t be faithful
they say they’ve got a girl in every port
And if you have them when they’re in yours
be grateful
I say I say my love is not that way
he is bold upright and true
I pray I pray to the wind each day
that it carries my love across the world to you
wind blow my love across the sea
then carry my love back home to me
Each moon that waxed and waned
I swear our love stays still unstained
oh wind blow my love across the sea
the life of the sea is harsh and hard
and he faces peril every sunrise
And I surely pray morning new and night
the next dawn will bring him before my eyes
but though I wait and though I pine
I do not fear his leaving
I know he stays true to this day
and his faith I’ll never be grieving
wind blow my love across the sea

what

2.720 : 4/23/07 : Cheating

Robbing Peter to pay Paul
Left hand keeps right hand in the dark
I’m not half so clever as I look
but my bite is much worse than my bark
Looks like I’m cheating my bottom line
knowing it never can work out
Guess that the totals come out okay
Guess you can’t quite count this jerk out
Maybe I’ll push to an early rise
Get a step ahead of the game
Knowing it never amounts to much
Such a slim stack I’ve got to my name
Maybe never will there be rewards
medals awards recognition
word on the street is I won’t persist
I’ll lose the plot crash and burn
I’m telling you better hedge that bet
you might just see this worm turn

what

2.719 : 4/22/07 : Rest

2,911 : 6 ?



No rest for the wicked
here’s your shit
where you can stick it
What I’m asking
I won’t get it
look at that
yea man I’d hit it
I need rest
why am I scanning
hacking typing
also-ranning
Should I vow to do my best?
leave me alone
I just want rest
A day was set aside
not this one
no one remembers
ask anyone
I remember
every grim night
let it rest
die die you brief light

what

2.718 : 4/21/07 : It Is Not Hope

It is not hope I have
about the future
the fact is I do not believe
in the future
they always say
it’s coming every day
but it always turns out in the end
to be today again
it’s true I don’t believe
the end is nigh
it’s true that I believe
we are reflected
in God’s eye
but that don’t mean
that shit ain’t coming down
the thing you see
I don’t believe
that faith is a noun

what

2.717 : 4/20/07 : The Only Way

The only way is ceasing waiting
so many promises
with every breath I’m baiting
I’m still tired
and the moment persists in absence
Can’t you just
Cut the flowery crap
and make sense?
It isn’t much but
tomorrow there’ll be another
hardly rates
but day after he will have a brother
I’ll never match the stars
or the children of man
the only way is to do
something
anything you can

what

2.716 : 4/19/07 : Timing

The essence of the essences
are
timing, timing, timing
the reason for the
writing
all the
thinking
and the
rhyming
I try so hard to get better
sometimes even think I am
still each day
proves to be a struggle
chipping wanly
at the dam

what

2.715 : 4/18/07 : Theodicy

There’s no excuse
there’s no theodicy
for all this pain
no adequate theology
So what’s this God
seething inside my mind
Is it delusion
metaphor or blind?
Not once did I submit
to make excuses
for what I can’t accept
for all seeming abuses
it doesn’t matter
crazy evil or both
just push through all regardless
call it growth

what

2.714 : 4/17/07 : Stone

Aging like a stone
everyone will die alone
I’ll set my feet to pick this bone
running like a stream
forgot the whole thing in a dream
what rose up in me was not cream
the profound visions of the sage
my only goal to turn the page
one two, one three, a golden age
I’ll dine on bleeding hearts of dove
the sin that fit me like a glove
my heart a stone
it still feels love

what

2.713 : 4.16.07 : The State of Things

No desire to talk about
the state of things
within or without
No time to think up something fresh
so typical
Weakness of the flesh
so small compared
to wicked fiends
so ethical
obsessed with ends and means
so much the same
as every other
helpless to help myself
my brother
sick of praying
at a wall
sick of signs
sick of it all

what

2.712 : 4/15/07 : Heretic

2,904 : 1 ?



Pile heresy atop apostasy
ask why have you forsaken me
It isn’t how it seems I swear
I still believe You’re everywhere
Act who knows of the culture wars
we’ve all become infernal bores
there’s no civil conversation
to be had in this petty nation
Still what appeals to my deepest heart
is just the same as at the start
So I ask you kindly to forgive
and suffer this poor heretic to live

what

2.711 : 4/14/07 : Black Hole

How I waste away my time
on these little drops
and drizzles
How I fuss and fool around
with harps and
bows and whistles
the oracle has decreed
a battle for my soul
I know I know I’ll find
my fortune
inside the black hole
why be crushed by
the extremity of gravity
when a heavy rock
will suffice
Why do I have to learn
every lesson five times
every time lightning strikes twice
I just need a million years
a million pounds
a mother huge lump of coal
or failing that
I’ll throw my good eye
into the black hole

what

2.710 : 4/13/07 : Pod

When will the pod fly through my window
I’m waiting for my replacement
I’ll take the wife and kid and move out
I’ve got a nice space in my basement
All I need is a good doppelganger
Take the day job the mortgage the lawn
take the world over who the hell needs it
I’ll feel so free in my new dawn
I’ll frolic with my lady and little boy
while you pod fools bring home the bacon
I’m laughing all the way past the bank
I’m laughing till my sides are aching
Take the car the bank account too
I’ll be fine with the clothes on my back and God
Where are you body snatchers
Where the hell is my escape pod

what

2.709 : 4/12/07 : World Builder

The writer quoting the writer
told me why I was
such a bad writer
I should have known
I should have seen it
Give me the damn slate
I’ll damn well clean it
I’ll build a world then
just in my mind though
fuck all the critics
just my own kind yo
I’ll be the master
I the world builder
Hand paint each slum
highlight every wilderness
Watch how I focus
with my tongue poking out
freed from meaning at last
free to see to my own sprout

what

2.708 : 4/11/07 : Futility

Futility it tells me
is its name
crashing into
hidden obstacles
and plunging into shame
trapped in elevators
stranded between floors
desperate for a mentor
who could sort out
all these floors
no one dies a thousand deaths
we all receive just one
and no one said
it would be easy
no one said it would be fun
but building character
it seems
should point to some end
but I just crash
and fall and fall
but I just bow
but I just bend

what

2.707 : 4/10/07 : Rash

Rash rush to judgment
throw away the plan
Desperate to hit a jackpot
Stick it to the man
pining for the house of cards days
pining for the ivory tower
even though I’d never give up
what I have even for an hour
guess that that should mean something
that it should wake me up
before you die of thirst
you better finish that half cup
before you test the Lord your God
you better check your back
the word among the serpent set’s
it’s gonna be a sneak attack
I was rash to rush unheeding
into just another trap
still it’s my brick wall I’m beating
my own head that takes the rap

what

2.706 : 4/9/07 : Writ Down Under

Ephemeral as
frost
exposed to the sun;
lost
the dream
almost all
unremembered
still exerts a call
beheld my heart
staked on a stick
so much for tough
for being a dick
a harder way
has been writ down
under my furrowed brow
and frown
requires I smooth
my face, exhale
and slip resolved
beneath the veil

what

2.705 : 4/8/07 : Hide

2,896 : 11 ?



Writ down every thought I had
drew a line marked good to bad
and stuck a pin skewed to one side
and said I’ll take it out of your hide
dancing just as fast as I could
said you must you said you would
confess I took that one on faith
On evidence thin as a wraith
I’ll put my hand down on the block
bite on the belt wait for the shock
of shedding that which doth offend
and there my debt to you will end
I listen to the reeling prose
Some poet I’m not one of those
I made my way by rhyme alone
pledged my troth to contention’s bone
I said if there’s nowhere to hide
nowhere to run except outside
if there’s no path at all but up
if there’s no filling of this cup
if this is all the life I get
and no song but this minuet
I’ll lay my hide as well as stakes
and bluff however long it takes

what

2.704 : 4/7/07 : Dream Denier

I am rightly taken to task
for my pessimistic slant
though you can’t deny that I
am justified in seeing scant
evidence of any realistic
chance of cutting loose
from this dread social inertia
that drags like a lead caboose
Still it’s wrong and I should not
be so quick to piss on the fire
of thoughts and fantasies unchained
rebuke me as the dream denier
Dream on dream on speak your mind
I’ll keep my mouth shut it’s the least
that I can do to compensate
for my Pharisee’s unclean yeast
maybe I can be surprised still
by a doorway unimagined
prove it to my silent heart
unveil to me
this life’s rich pageant

what

2.703 : 4/6/07 : Correction

Is it correct to steal a moment
Solely for expression
Can I justify the notion
anything’s at my discretion
If I’d never signed my name
or shown my papers to the man
would I be more firm, correct
upright, on the narrow straight plan
I require a course correction
I’m in need of mentoring
I’m ready so where’s the teacher
stand on the cement for rain
that falls down upon this flower
turn my face to heaven’s gate
find a source from which more power
steel my spine and seal my fate

what

2.702 : 4/5/07 : For Art’s Sake

I left the ivory tower
for art’s sake
Said what I could not
learn there I’d have to fake
And I’m bemused
at where I find I’ve landed
I couldn’t call it fate
and your technique
seems underhanded
And do I trust too much
And leave too much to chance
and do I work too little
fake it with a little dance
and will I ever learn
to only live the day I’m in
and will I ever stop
waiting for the signal
to begin?
And will I ever stop
wondering what it’s like
On the take
not as long as I toil
in this holy field
for art’s sake

what

2.701 : 4/4/07 : Mandate

Every other law has been
tossed to history’s dustbin
equality is not all
it’s been cracked up to
I’d love to have
exceptions to
your mandate you delivered
cause there’s plenty who
deserve to be smacked up too
I’d love to have been given
liturgical justification
but it’s fairly clear
you meant no codicil
so I am left with knowing
I am one of many
Called not chosen
left here waiting
leaning out
over the windowsill
 
what

2.700 : 4/3/07 : Indefinite Hiatus

All the best teams
are broken up now
what’s left seems
so frail somehow
it must have been
a spirit of another age
all that we’ve got now
it seems
a spirit to disengage
really what’s so bad
about being second fiddle
the benefits of following
surely aren’t such a riddle
I’d love to be somebody’s foil
rest easy in their shadow
let them take the spotlight
let the the public pressure
press them flat, oh
but but those days
it seems are done
you’re no one or
the chosen one
and I know which boot
fits this foot
and just which place
that steel toe will be put

what

2.699 : 4/2/07: Iteration

Another iteration of
the same old situation of
the action of creation
by a man who won’t accept his station
I am not a plutocrat
and though I’ve voted Democrat
I’m not partisan like that
the head’s too big for my hat
I’d like to put the world on trial
and hold mankind’s fate in a vial
evidence of who touched the dial
got buried in the pentagon file
leaving me but to iterate
the fine line between church and state
but if I give up clean the slate
I know it would be little too late
So I pile another stack
keep my counsel, plan attack
and pray that someone has my back
and God will make up what I lack

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2.698 : 4/1/07 : Accustomed to Desire

I am accustomed to uncertainty
and impotence is known to me
and I have labored over ages
to attain serenity
I have writ ten thousand pages
I have earned a servant’s wages
but I do not have a slave’s heart
and my freeman’s blood still rages
I pull the thread from craft to art
insist I’m ready now to start
become accustomed to desire
before these chains pull me apart
and cast me to the watchman’s fire
that waits for me beyond the wire
inevitable undying pyre
sole thing to which I can aspire

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2.697 : 3/31/07 : This Is Your Brain

I beg forgiveness
for another bit of business
that goes south
from the start
right out the gate
begins to fall apart
I took my chances
on a thousand random dances
From this side
seems not so bright
oh drop a hook
the chance is I’ll still bite
this is your brain
on fucking crazy
this is the force
irresistible
I know you’re convinced
you caught me being lazy
but your evidence
is not admissible
this is the end
that sounds like the beginning
the inexorable logic of timing
I know it sounds
like I’m lost, but I’m winning
that’s the victory bell
you hear chiming

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