2.1323 : 12/16/08 : Notebook & Pen

Everybody’s got a crush on

everybody else

Everybody’s posting lies

and playing with themselves

And oh boy,

it’s just like high school again

and me with my little

notebook and pen

everybody’s flirting

and passing notes

pretending they don’t care

how anybody votes

and I write it all down now

just like then

keep it secret with my

little notebook and pen

You have to make so much up

as you go along

sooner or later

Something real bad goes wrong

And I just close my eyes

and count to ten

and pick up my pen and

my notebook, again

what

2.1322 : 12/15/08 : Estimate

at a rough estimate

I’m getting nowhere fast

I’m behind by any metric

and wow it’s a blast

I think I could just lighten up

and take it as it comes

and any other platitude

you throw me in my doldrums

sure I’ll start pumping iron

learn to speak French

I’ll shovel some more at you

if you can stand the stench

I estimate I’ll keep it up

at least a few more years

until I get some kind of call up

or the teacher appears

what

2.1321 : 12/14/08 : Domino

So tired of how

the natural fall

of things

doesn’t seem to go my way

the domino

you know

or how the

pendulum swings

predictable, pedestrian

every day

it’s easy to blame

entropy

well who knows

the math is

impossible

and who can say

what’s

really improvement

when time’s river

is uncrossable

what

2.1320 : 12/13/08 : Spoon

Once upon a time some guy

invented the spoon

now everybody takes it for granted

why bother discovering

a one man way to the moon

or conquer free energy single handed

who knows it was actually

probably a woman

and I am a sexist jerk

hell I didn’t mean it like that

and I’m only human

and really I’m just trying

to get out of work

what

2.1319 : 12/12/08 : Essay

Thinking about the essay

about the song about the essay

about how the point

can get away

from you lost in

the self-reference

knowing I’ve been down

this road before

and another year’s sure

to bring more

and I’ll hack it all out

day to day

and talk about it all

in some essay

what

2.1318 : 12/11/08 : Take That

Take that unexpected setback

Shout this is Songtown

and kick you in the cataract

lead my army

in another crazy charge

take that King Mammon

I’m living large

oh great I’ve hatched

another crazy plan

for about fifteen minutes

I’ll feel like the man

but I bet I’ll never be famous

not even that long

even so I hedged by bets

Well hey take that

you stupid song

what

2.1317 : 12/10/08 : Week Out

Another week out

and maybe I should seek out

a more robust

motivation

effort on effort hey

keeping up’s not my forte

I badly need

some innovation

One time I had a plan

There was a goal a band

now maybe I’m just filling space

there are worse things I guess

least it’s a compact mess

and the toll doesn’t show on my face

what

2.1316 : 12/9/08 : Czechoslovakian Thugocracy

3,506 : 35 ?

If you give me

three quarters of a million dollars

I will live in Prague

and take thirteen years

to finish my album

which I’ll mail to you

and for the money

I guess the description

may look vague

Well it’s a vale of tears

and my rule of thumb

is to work it till it’s blue

what

2.1315 : 12/8/08 : One-Eyed Man

Now I’m the pirate in

the kingdom of the blind

my eyepatch says fate’s

chosen me

but fate she is not kind

Sometimes I feel there’ll never be

a real release again

someday that make believe ship

will come in, I’ll get off then

until then I guess I’ll

have to get used to being king

in the kingdom of the blind

it may sound fine

but here’s the thing

the world is still out there

looking down on me and mine

and me being king means nothing

to the trolls down the incline

what

2.1314 : 12/7/08 : Convalescent

Such a little time afforded

to the convalescent

I could use a good rest cure

but I am just a peasant

I suppose I could resist more

leave the business piling

let the drifts come up to the door

scorn the weekly filing

but I carve my little niche out

for the moment for the moment

savor my small interval

Spent as the convalescent

I guess I’m thankful

I am basically sound in body

and the rest care in the alps

might be a little gaudy

what

2.1313 : 12/6/08 : A Thing Done

I guess I didn’t

get a thing done

that weekend

after all

but listen to waves

of course the train fun

not for me and

I guess we had a ball

what

2.1312 : 12/5/08 : Misery

Pitiful weakling

think of the poor widow’s son

lost at sea

how dare you call

your slight affliction

misery

say you’re a week behind

and more

Say that to those stuck

in the last century

you don’t yet know

the least touch

of misery

all will lose all

all come to the

same estate

it is the cause and end

of all misery

the wiping of the slate

what

2.1311 : 12/4/08 : Fans

Someday maybe I’ll

have fans

not likely with all my

crazy plans

I wish I could stop thinking

about the cosmic long shots

wish I could hold out

until that old door

rots

what would I do even

make a buck or two

What would I ever do

without my little him

or you

Don’t make me find out

you’re the only fans

I want

And may I never

cheapen it

with any crazy stunt

what

2.1310 : 12/3/08 : Rushing

Feel like rushing through

to get to what though

Whatever does it even matter

if it’s got flow

you put down rap and Cohen

I should be so lucky

there’s another thousand floors

beneath him in the tower

and if the center will not hold

where will I find the power

Isn’t it a lot like

every other thousand million times

holler if you think

these art transgressions should

be crimes

I’m rushing to a point

that’s arbitrary

as the day is long

call it the end of a song

what

2.1309 : 12/2/08 : Disorder

Clean and clean and wash and wash and

you’ve got more than your head

buried in the sand

Surely you must recognize

this thing is a disorder

the same old tangled circular thoughts

ragged at the border

form the picking and the prodding

hoping for some new wrinkle

all the crazy learned behaviors

repeat till the groove’s instinctual

the disorder whispers that insanity

is daring to change

And I’d listen but I know I’m

in the spooks’ wireless range

and my tinfoil sombrero

is full of holes

where I tried to pick off

all the bugs and burning coals

what

2.1308 : 12/1/08: The Point

Will the point be established

by the re-enumeration

will anyone be left

listening past the long vacation

done so many things

for so many wrong reasons

but hell with it I’m building my

bulkhead in its proper season

faced the fire, now it’s in me

burning for its only purpose

one more thing you’ll never fathom

if you only see the surface

I could call the point of turning

if the readiness is really all

now I’ll bring the fate winds with me

Past the golden gates of Fall

what

2.1307 : 11/30/08 : Dreams

I suffer hope in dreams

proof that someone up there

believes in me

cybercasted pagan runes maybe

deceiving me

that seems likely

whatever I keep looking for

it is not where I’m looking

But what else now

what else here

whatever must appear

in the books I’m cooking

I don’t think much about

the alternatives

but I know what tomorrow’s got

So I will daydream

about my night dreams

Some technique that will

enable me

to gobble up the lot

what

2.1306 : 11/29/08 : Water Rocket

Under pressure

full of piss and hot air

I’m going to pop the plug

and fly down on you over there

the human water rocket

call it water to be polite

that’s not vinegar

and I am bringing you the fight

it’s a war of silliness

rube goldberg war machines

Would be a lot more fun

than all your modern counting beans

what

2.1305 : 11/28/08 : The King’s Robe

Do I need to go back to

the blah blah blah

and is it true

that if I talked it out enough

I’d finally call

the devil’s bluff

recorded in the

book of Job

You can’t rely on

the king’s robe

for protection

from the worst

to prove a point

we’re freely cursed

wear it for the

photo opportunity

and if you care to

pretend you’ve got immunity

but don’t be surprised

when the messengers come

to tell the Lord tooketh away

in your zero sum

game

what

2.1304 : 11/27/08 : Thankless

If the task seems thankless

if the path seems endless

if the object seems immovable

and the road seems friendless

I can’t offer optimism

promises of intervention

only to be there at crunch time

with my very best invention

Well you can’t eat thanks

or cover with them if you’re cold

even so it would be nice to have

a few to remember when you’re old

so maybe look up

from the awful spectacles

and remember to say thank you

to fate’s chosen receptacles

what

2.1303 : 11/26/08 : Ordeal

Almost called it

an ordeal

could I get more

ridiculous

at least my record of

my clownish

pantomimes

meticulous

no war no

serious disease

no grief

knock on wood

if you please

I should be so thankful

how about that

guess I will be

just in time, cat

what

2.1302 : 11/25/08 : Ping

Ping

anyone home

just one

functionally alone

no message

nothing

just acknowledging

the ping

what

2.1301 : 11/24/08 : No Way Back

3,492 : 21 ?

Just generating filler now

just filling in the lines

uncaring about how it looks

between the clotted tines

unwilling to retrace the steps

but there is no way back

unless I drill down all the way

through that infernal stack

worse than a diary

more fractured than a log

it feels like some bad artery

disgusting with its fatty clog

and how should I reveal

a night like a thousand others

the nights that passed

like silent ships

this night and all

its brothers

what

2.1300 : 11/23/08 : Second Strike

Whiff streaks past

second strike

try to imagine it

up at the mic

the deepest fears

anxieties

various ends of

various sobrieties

not what you’d think

well maybe you

maybe God

maybe me too

waiting for

another pitch

pretty sure this one’s

going to be a bitch

what

2.1299 : 11/22/08 : Vice is Like a Job

Somedays even vice is like a job

and I am one predictable slob

trying to make sense of the senseless

before which I’m defenseless

bad intention carries the night

and I do not intend to fight

but I can’t help it struggle finds me

whatever passes for a muse finds me

and I’m rushing to make it up again

foolish midnight foolish pen

what

2.1298 : 11/21/08 : Music In My Head

As soon as I focus

the music in my head stops

a thousand thoughts crowd in

the volume sharply drops

What an illusion

What a tale of years

hear it in my head

but cannot ever

bring it to your ears

Somebody else did it

better years ago

Someone did it weirder

a bridge beyond what

I could ever know

but it’s done complete

the page is truly turned

and before the hour is cold

I’ll see that

last bridge burned

what

2.1297 : 11/20/08 : Refuse

Refuse to give in

to the impulse

to pull the pin

self destruct is

not an option

what instructs this

All feels redone

all feels rehashed

something flickered

for a minute

then spun out

and crashed

what

2.1296 : 11/19/08 : Just Like That

And just like that

I’m on the cusp

one two three

one step ahead of the rust

doesn’t quite work

but who can stop me

keep it all

short and sweet

let failure hone

and strop me

what

2.1295 : 11/18/08 : Long to Go Still

Long to go still

bitter harvest

bitter pill

made of clichés

and failed imagination

tomorrow to wake

in the same degraded station

So many tricks

learned over years

sew the eyes shut

Stop the ears

but the sound of it

penetrates every barrier

hope the next time

it comes knocking

I’ll be a little warier

what

2.1294 : 11/17/08 : Closing the Gap

3,485 : 14 ?

Not much you can control

the gap that keeps

yawning open takes its toll

Close it up again

Slam it shut again

I know I’ll let it

lapse my friend

Closing the gap

has just become a chore

and I’d talk more about it

but I don’t want to be a bore

it’s silent past midnight

I just want to be done

what I agonized in leisure

about

sort of wish I hadn’t begun

like a rent you might pay

like tribute

at least it’s not paying out

to some grim suit

man I’ve got to get past

all this crap

but for now I’ll just keep

shoveling it

all into the gap

what

2.1293 : 11/16/08 : Steam and Out

Out of steam and

Out of images

out of excuses

but never out of pages

want change so bad

I can taste it

If I won the magic spin

would I waste it

Out of sight and

Out of mind

is it such a tiny prayer

just to become more kind

the foul taste on my tongue

suggests I’ve

screwed up another one

but it’s all done and done

soon to be written off

I’ve had my fun

what

2.1292 : 11/15/08 : Wide Load

Cops in front and cops behind

the magic light flashed

in my mind

something swaddled

rolling up the road

was it a weapon or a crime

I’ll never know

just like the last time

what was concealed

in the wide load

I try to attach some

significance

I try to reach for some

redeeming magnificence

but I know it’s all a waste

I’ll get a moment

a little taste

but the mystery will

roll away

and tomorrow will be

just another day

what

2.1291 : 11/14/08 : Crisis

I told a friend in a

rambling missive

the crisis had flared up again

and so feeling permissive

I went through all the paces

in the old familiar places

a song smeared out

across a week or more

it’s what it has to be

but it leaves me

feeling poor

what

2.1290 : 11/13/08 : Late Night Crazies

I guess it’s all about the

late night crazies again

seems insane to talk about it

what it might end or begin

I couldn’t feel more ridiculous

but the method is meticulous

mark the door marked out

and just rush in

what

2.1289 : 11/12/08 : Promises

Promises promises

what’s one more slip?

So many crazy spills

betwixt the cup and my lip

maybe that dream I had

didn’t mean squat

but the suffering sure showed up

right on the dot

I’m claiming force majeure

for the greater good

maybe I’ll get it next time

like I know I should

have done tonight

well it’s hits and misses

and me and my damn

broken promises

what

2.1288 : 11/11/08 : Twisted Path

The twisted path and

how it got you here

puppet strings pulled by

winds of change and fear

a place that feels too

unsustainable

a chance for something better

still feels attainable

questions that hang

tragic in the air

mutual doubt

a twist path from here to there

feel that we must

begin retracing steps

back to zero or

Wherever disenchantment crept

what

2.1287 : 11/10/08 : Audacity

The act of stunning audacity

stymied by hope

and the dream of

reciprocity

is one hundred a

strong enough force

to hold the citadel:

of course

I’ll leave it to

some morrow

maybe to be subsumed

in a well of sorrow

but I’ll choose

my narrative track

someday I’ll drop this element

onto th’eternal

stack

what

2.1286 : 11/9/08 : Loop (Stuck)

Can’t seem to wrench my mind

out of the loop it’s stuck in

tried to keep it open

somebody shoveled muck in

tried to maintain a filter

but who knows what should be allowed

the winning cast of days

the path the loop plowed

I could look back on it

from many years ahead

afraid of what will come to pass

and who might end up dead

and what could get caught up

in history’s wide scoop

most afraid that ten more years

could find me still stuck in the loop

what

2.1285 : 11/8/08 : Numbers

I’ve played my share

of the magic numbers game

mostly all the dice

rolled out the same

hard to pick out the signal

from all the noise

observation and the chance

at precision it destroys

tough to be sensitive

tough to empathize

tough to see revealed

the grim equations ‘fore your eyes

and if this console blows

it’ll take you out redshirt

but hey put it off as you might

we all end up feeding dirt

what

2.1284 : 11/7/08 : Anomaly

The anomaly: last came first

well actually second

there’s that bubble burst

and the last will be

second to last

in an ultimate sense

that will get swallowed by the past

and I know that I’ll forget

when it’s time for the next

forget to mark the moment

Whatever it expects

but maybe I’ll remember

make it something new

remember at it, all of it

was written down for you

what

2.1283 : 11/6/08 : Ritualistic Conclusion

Attempt to drag the thing

to one last

ritualistic conclusion

all elements in place

in all their usual profusion

full of doubt it’s nothing new

new must be a long way off

I guess I’ll have to make it up

while anyone acquainted must scoff

to hear me talking new and first

to hear me talking tough

to hear me say I’m moving on

because I’ve had enough

what

2.1282 : 11/5/08 : Gimme

Gimme a freebie

toss me a line

I’m trying rather hard

to resist the decline

It may be quite serious

but here’s my retort:

I nailed it twenty years ago

in a book report

what

2.1281 : 11/4/08 : I Voted

I voted

I helped a friend

a neighbor vote

in the biblical sense

don’tcha know

I call it historic

I call it fine

I call it a supreme victory

I call it mine

what

2.1280 : 11/3/08 : History

History will teach me

Where to draw the line

between the advent of hope

after the steep decline

and if you’re doubting

I can relate

but there is time

to raise

this great estate

what

2.1279 : 11/2/08 : The Thorn

Even further behind

than you thought before

what’s better a brick wall

Or a slamming door

it’s getting tedious

I’m getting wroth and grim

Paul said the thorn pierced him three times

but I’m not him

And I should laugh of course

the price of bending rules

If you complained about the like

I’d curse you all as fools

but we all like rules

till they apply to us

and I’m no better than the next

So please excuse me while I cuss

what

2.1278 : 11/1/08 : Memory

I’ve got a mean streak about a mile

wide, inside

that tells me that we only

wreck things for the

drama, comma

but here’s what really keeps

me up at night:

Maybe Fred was right

And what had truly been true once

has died

what