The Interim : Battles and Bands 21 : Union

What should appear to my wondering eyes
The way that your hips curve into your thighs
I am not searching for mystical union
searching transcendence sacred communion
I do not seek the divine
I only want to lose myself in you
get you underneath my skin
I do not seek the divine
I’d just like to fuck you sometime
I’d just like to fuck you sometime
I’d like to get you under my skin
Lay down my bones and let yourself in
Savor the taste of your wine
My door is open my door’s open wide
Flesh isn’t holy you’ve nothing to hide
I do not seek the divine
Should you appear to my wondering eyes
Do you seek union I know that time flies
I do not seek the divine
I’d just like to fuck you sometime
Savor the taste of your wine
I’d just like to fuck you sometimes

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 20 : Alchemy

I don’t know what you’ve been told
but there’s no way to turn lead into gold
oh - that’s not reality

It’s a day like any other day
Nothing ever changes here it always stays the same
No matter how I twist and turn
these feelings burn I’ve given this a name

I don’t know what you’ve been told
but a love once new so soon grows cold
Aw, that’s reality

I’ve put a name on my frustration
and assigned it a location in the center of my mind
And once you see what I see then
I think you’ll see what we have left behind

I don’t know and I don’t know
I lost my way so long ago
Oh - that’s alchemy

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 19 : Shadow’s Confession

Forgive me father for I have sinned
It has been some time since I confessed
My time’s short but I thought that I
would pause here and get myself blessed
I’m no longer the man I was
the last time I sat under this light
Things have become less simple for me
the questions I asked multiplied

I’m a member of no race a subscriber to no creed
If you choose to label me it’s your prejudice you feed
I will not be what you are I will not be what you’re not
I’m a function of negation I’m a shadow I’m a god

You think it strange that a shadow could
exist without someone to cast it
I saw the sign at the point
of no return and I chose to go past it
I walk in shadow I know it’s wrong
But the touch of light makes me fade
Yet I do no evil and little good
mostly these days I just wait

I’m a member of no race a subscriber to no creed
If you choose to label me it’s your prejudice you feed
I will not be what you are I will not be what you’re not
I’m a function of negation I’m a shadow I’m a god

Now bless me father and five me
the sign of the cross on my forehead and chest
I fear your guess is as good as mine
just what has a shadow confessed
If you lie troubled awake
in your chamber remember that I don’t exist
If you don’t hear from me again
well I trust that I wouldn’t be missed

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 18 : Gravity

2,112 : 27 ?


This is the hill I have to climb
This is the hill I have to climb
This is the hill I have to climb
This is the hill I have to climb

It don’t seem right but I know it’s mine

This is the stone over my tomb
This is the stone over my tomb
This is the stone over my tomb
This is the stone over my tomb

No Angel comin’ to let light into my room

You ask me way I’m so far down
You look but you can’t see
It’s by one law I lead my life
Gravity

Be nice to let the stone roll down
Be nice to let the stone roll down
Be nice to let the stone roll down
Be nice to let the stone roll down

Lie back and let it crush me into the ground

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics hereYou can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 17 : Standstill

Don’t you know I’ve done my time
filling up my place in line
waiting for my number to appear
On it goes day in day out
Always wrestling with doubt
and the feeling that there’s nothing for me here

And the man behind the desk says wait your turn son
I haven’t got mine yet
I’m pushing twenty two
And there’s not a lot that’s new
I’m still looking for the place I’m s’posed to get

It’s just like my friend Eric said
It’s sunken cost all in your head
It’s fear alone that keeps you where you’re standin’
The shit I never cared about
is all I ever think about
what kind of fucking job I’ll end up landing

And the man behind the desk says wait your turn son
I haven’t got mine yet
I’m pushing twenty five
feeling a little less alive
still searching for the place I’m s’posed to get

That line it coils ‘round the world
like a serpent it is curled
biting its own tail never-ending
Stand still and do your part
know you’ll end up where you start
the world is on your spine to keep you bending

And the man behind the desk says wait your turn son
I haven’t got mine yet
I’m pushing sixty three
I have to doubt I’ll ever be
endin’ up in the place I’m s’posed to get

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 16 : Slip the Tracks

I never finish
I never finish
I never finish anything I start
I never finish
I never finish anything I start
I’m not afraid
to write this song
I’m not afraid
to write this song
I’m not afraid
to write this song
I’m only afraid to do it wrong
Too distracted to begin
my thoughts slip the tracks again
I’m chasing down another
derailed creation
Lost looking for light
Lost looking for light
To show the way to make the words come right
Lost looking for light
Lost looking for light
To show the way to make the words come right
Giving up
is the easy part
giving up
is the easy part
giving up
is the easy part
When you don’t finish anything you start
Too distracted to begin
my thoughts slip the tracks again
I’m chasing down another
derailed creation
I never finish
I never finish
I never finish anything I start

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 15 : The Hourglass Reigned

The hourglass reigned until its sand had
beat him halfway dead
said let the chips fall where they may
They all fell on his head
And tho he walked in ways of plays he’d seen
And books he’d read
The piper scorned payment in blood
And stole his time instead

She came to him like Christ, at the
beginning and the end
And when she left him, that was when
his mind began to bend
Around the words she’d spoken
when his lie he’d tried to lend
Your blood, my love, won’t buy me
it is time you have to spend

And for a while like fools and poets will
he spoke in rhyme
And said each day this search for truth
strikes me as less sublime
And tho to hilltop hermitages
he did bravely climb
The masters had no answers but
to give the matter time

His fingers moved like fire across
the fretboard of the dawn
He realized that all the dreams
he’d once had now were gone
And saw that when he’d lost himself
To chase a siren’s song
He had somehow forgotten
what he’d waited for so long

Twas not that he’d been crucified
that made him feel so lost
But that he knew that it was he
who’d built that wormwood cross
The rusted spikes that held his wrists
were rimed with blood and frost
He’d never even guess at
just how much his time would cost

Forty days and forty nights
he ran away from strife
And then stopped dead and balanced
on the thin edge of a knife
The God of war had taken Aphrodite
as his wife
And in the shadow of their wings
he wasted half his life

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 14 : Need

2,105 : 20 ?


I need you - I guess you’ve heard that before
You need me - guess I could hear it, just once more
I don’t know what I need - she said goodbye
and I shut the door
I guess I know what I don’t need
Is to ask again what we’re fighting for
Oh, it’s always so, what will come and what will be
All I know all I know
One more lonely night’s gonna kill me
One more lonely night’s gonna kill me
One more lonely night’s gonna kill me
I don’t know what I need
You don’t know what you desire
maybe together we could not know nothing
maybe together we could put out this fire
I don’t know, don’t know what I need -
She said goodbye and I shut the door
Maybe it’s time maybe it’s time
to ask what the hell am I fighting for

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 13 : The Masks (II)

The masks are gone now
I have survived
The storm has come and gone
I am alive
I can see clearly now
Shed of my mask
I see I’ve got one more
question to ask -

You can see me
But can I see you?
Maybe together
we’ll find something true

One man alone
may be deceived
But two together
might be believed

Two speaking clearly
could become three
The possibilities
seem endless to me

So if you can see me -
If you’re ready to
Then take off your mask, friend
I want to see you

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 12 : The Storm

...The storm is Here

Mighty tornado
Raw twisting power
Who is responsible
for it’s calling, I
I called this storm up
brought down its fury
by living a life
That was a hidden lie
My time is up now
my debts are due now
I stand convicted
I stand alone in the eye

surrounded all about
by fearsome raging
winds that reach out and
grasp at my sanity
I cannot hold out
against this onslaught
I can’t withstand this
Towering potency
The walls are closing
in for the last time
I feel them tearing
what will become of me?

My God, my God what will become of me?
My God, my God what will become of me?
I call to God what has become of me?
Rip off the masks, rip off the masks
And set me free...

I hear a roaring
inside and outside
of my head as the
storm rips the masks from my face
They fly to pieces
scattered like ashes
storm bares my soul with
Ever increasing pace
And I stand naked
stripped of my armor
Storm has uncovered
my final hiding place

Nothing protects me
No walls left standing
Nothing is left now
Between the storm and me
The final mask is
Losing its purchase
My last defense gone
here now my end must be
The wind takes the mask
Rips it to splinters
The pieces fly away...

I am Free
I am Free
I am Free
Never again to have the masks say who I’ll be
The masks are gone for good
The storm has set me free
There’ll be no such thing as impossibility
The masks are ripped away
Look at what I am-
See me
See me
See me

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 11 : The Calm

I’m tired of running
I’ve nothing left inside
The storm has got me cornered
There’s nowhere left to hide

Somehow I thought I’d make it
I must have been mistaken
I thought the masks would save me
But now I feel forsaken

I feel so calm before the storm
Though I know my end is near
It seems almost a blessing
There is no pain, there is no fear

At least I know that I can stop
Running this crazy race today
The storm has come to clean the slate
And blow what’s left of me away

Who would have thought the masks would win
Oh I still hoped I might get clear
and free myself at last of them
But it’s too late too late...

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 10 : Let it Ride

2,098 : 13 ?



Thinking hacking pounding pondering
Looking for an answer, just another Saturday night
Looking for a way to get out
Should I try to get laid, should I try to get tight
I got lost so long ago, I can’t get back now
I burned every bridge that I crossed
My luck has finally run out, I lost the roll on
Every die that was tossed
There’s a time to cut your losses
There’s a time when you’ve got to swallow your pride
But it’s too late for me to get out now
I don’t care anymore, anymore
Let it Ride

Waiting for my ship to come in
Trying still when trying gets weary and old
Tired of trying to make a difference
Tired of looking in standing outside in the cold
I thought that maybe you could
Just answer one or two of the questions I had
You left me with less answers
That’s okay, I had a mask to make me look sad
World seems to think I owe it a living
It seems determined, bound to take it out of my hide
This time there’s no hedging bets
I put it all on the line on the line on the line
Let it Ride

No more looking for the answers
You can’t find them why waste your time on dismay
I know I have to do something quickly
I don’t know what but the masks are getting stronger each day
Did you really think you’d see me?
I can’t see me so how did you expect to get through
It was good you got out quickly
It’s all coming down the storm is starting to brew
One more broken heart couldn’t kill me
Just another loss just another thorn in my side
If the storm rips my life apart
Well I don’t like it anyway -
Let it Ride

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

reserved

It is a signifier of the amount of water gone under the bridge that the last time I investigated formally applying for copyrights of the songs of days I railed against the fact that the government could not deal with a simple electronic transfer of data. Years pass, apparently, and they've gotten a little closer to modernity down Library of Congress way. Frugal soul that I am I've started by compiling the entirety of the first project into a single volume and registering it as a single literary work. Which it is, to my mind, a compendium of original verse. The copyright office's website has this ridiculous, old school design and action, as if they kidnapped math teachers out of the 1980s and forced them to program it on VAX terminals, but it functions well enough. The thing ended up as a rich text file weighing in at an almost invisible 627 KB. It probably takes more memory to run a flashlight these days.

It is in fact a little bit alarming to ponder that any crazy with a computer and 35 dollars can make the government store a copy of whatever insane rantings they've produced at any time of the day or night... I wonder what sort of madhouse stockpile of ephemeral text they've accumulated since they started taking submissions online (because I have to confess, I probably still wouldn't have this done if I'd had to mail it... at 1,001 songs it's the printing that would really kill my enthusiasm for the project). Of course the irony here is that I am in fact one of the "crazies," seeing as how I don't really project a likelihood of doing much anything with the songs. I'm hoping somewhere along the line some factotum of Sony will gank a few lines out of one of my lyrics for some chanteuse of the week, then to fill my bank accounts with the sweet proceeds of litigation. Luckily my plans of growing rich, by whatever means, at the hands of the record industry are purely jocular, as their chances of being anyone's sugar daddy grow ever more remote. I'm not sure why to bother with the actual copyright, when I get right down to it. Except that it is the work of years, and it is mine. I figure I'll compile editions of the new project every 5 years or so, as I complete the transcriptions. On a related note I just finished transcribing the songs from the first book of the second series - the first time I've finished transcribing a book before I start actually posting it. A good sign, I'd like the transcription to actually get caught up at some point. Considering I'm on volume 12 in the second series this is a good way off yet, though. All rights reserved, kids.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 9 : Ever Decreasing Circles

You tell one more lie
To hide that you didn’t tell the truth
Smoke another cigarette
To lessen the pain that you quit
Screw up just one more day, it’s not
much when you’ve wasted your youth
All in all you always want
Whatever you can’t seem to get
In
Ever decreasing circles
Ever decreasing circles
Ever decreasing circles

Through the cycle one more time
telling yourself it’s the last
If you didn’t lie so well
You might have the courage to change
After all life’s not so bad
if you don’t count the present or past
Try to live with what you’ve got
You gave up your life in exchange
For
Ever decreasing circles
Ever decreasing circles
Ever decreasing circles

When the tears start falling
Pick up your masks one more time
Don’t let the world see you cry
They’ll use it to hurt you again
If they see your real face
they’ll charge you for every crime
It hurts to wear it always
But the mask helps to over the pain
of
Ever decreasing circles
Ever decreasing circles
Ever decreasing circles

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 8 : Driving in the Spikes

Now my eyes are opened
and I can clearly see
The way out of the black mood
I thought had captured me
Live each day for what it’s worth
I think I’ve found the way
Now go to bed and sleep on it
Tomorrow’s a new day

When you wake your hopes blow away
Before you’ve started you’ve lost another day
Still you waste time with desires and dislikes
All your pretty hopes were just
Driving in the spikes

Pretty baby I love you so
And this is all that we require
I know that you were meant for me
And you are all that I desire
No more lonely days or nights
Now that you are by my side
I never thought I’d find this love
Oh I’m so very glad I tried

But when she’s gone the words become dust
What’s left untended finally turns to rust
You waste your time with desires and dislikes
All your pretty hope was just
Driving in the spikes

I know I’ll overcome this
If I believe I can
The masks are just a nightmare
I’m sure of who I am
the road is long, and I am young
and change can come each day
All I need is courage, then
The storm will fade away

But when your courage fails you you’re lost
You never stopped, to think or count the cost
Your time, wasted - desires and dislikes
All your pretty hopes
Driving in the spikes

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 7 : The Lonely Lands

Oh pretty lady, please look out your window
I’m trying hard to make myself seen
I know I must seem indistinct and hazy
but if you listen to the words I sing
You might see me for what I really am
if you and I can just hold out our hands
maybe together we will never have to
spend another night in the lonely lands

Maybe I could see myself in your eyes
as clearly as you see yourself in mine
Do you think that we could get together
Oh pretty lady all I need is a sign
Everybody needs somebody with them
to protect them from time’s spilling sands
Oh when the winds of change are all around you
Doesn’t pay to be in the lonely lands

I see you draw back, and shut your window
You turn away and pull your curtains closed
Ignore this shadow, pale in the moonlight
whispering words that must not be disclosed
We’re all just prisoners locked behind our windows
I’m just a man who can’t say where he stands
Once I was happy, knew where I was going
Still I find myself in the lonely lands

Oh was it your fault, was it really my fault
there is no use in trying to place blame
we are the casualties of another war
man versus woman just another game
I’ll be all right, don’t you worry ‘bout me
Loneliness is a thing I understand
I have a mask that makes me look alive
I wear it when I walk in the lonely lands

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 6 : The Dream

Last Night I had that dream, that dream
about the masks again
I wandered in a maze alone
And turned some corners, then
I came into a room like some
forgotten carnival
And saw my face was mirrored a million
times on every wall

Then I realized there were no
mirrors in that place
And what I saw were masks made in
the image of my face
In all my life in all my dreams
I’d not seen such a thing
masks for every mood I’d ever felt
from joy to pain

I wandered for what seems like hours
in that abandoned hall
and tried to understand the masks
that stared back from the wall
Masks of fear and friendship
Masks of drama and desire
Masks of hope and jealousy
of anger love and ire

I thought these masks are useful
I should take a few along
Whenever I don’t like the mood
I’m in I’ll slip one one
Then the world need never see
the shape I’m really in
no one else will ever get
to cause me pain again

Something happened then that caused
my heart and mind to balk
all the masks began to move
and then began to talk
All the masks seemed to be fighting
Struggling to be free
Every one seemed to be saying
it was really me

No I screamed it isn’t true
You are not what I am
You masks are just puppets but
I am the real man
The masks all flew around me
suffocating screaming lies
Till all that could be seen of me
was two lost tortured eyes

I woke then in my room then sitting,
shaking on the floor
And made my mind up then and there
to think of it no more
I drifted back to sleep again
My room was dark and warm
But far back in my mind I thought
I heard the gathering of a storm...

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 5 : The Masks (I)

2,091 : 6 ?


What do you really think you’re gonna see
What do you think will meet your eyes
When you take off this mask, rip it off of me
Will you see me or just my next disguise

What will you penetrate?
What will you reveal?
What will you demonstrate?
What pain will you feel?
Did you think that you could
see into my mind
Did you think that it would
Be enough, for you to be kind

I am a master, of this I am not proud
It just happens when you feel a lot of pain
I am a shadow, a face without a crowd
Just a slick of oil on water, down the drain

What will you penetrate?
What will you reveal?
What will you demonstrate?
What pain will you feel?
Did you think that you could
see into my head
Did you think that it would
Be enough to take me to your bed

Better just leave quickly, I’m more than slightly bent
Just give in now you’ll never see my face
My masks and I are happy sometimes half content
Better for you to go, and leave me in this place

What will you penetrate?
What will you reveal?
What will you demonstrate?
What pain will you feel?
Did you think that you could
see into my soul
Did you think that you would
Be enough, enough to make me whole

I call to God what has become of me
Rip off the masks, rip off the masks
and set me free

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

mellow drama

"Battles and Bands" songs 5-13 are the undergraduate post-breakup song cycle with the running central metaphor which were called "The Masks". Hard times, hard times, come again no more.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 4 : Eagle Feather

Find a little piece of freedom
buried somewhere far away
we had it once or so they told us
must have lost it ‘long the way
our parents traded it for something
we don’t need or want today
maybe if we trace our footsteps
back to where it all began
we’ll find how such a hopeful country
turned into this wounded land
our parents made it into something
we don’t really understand
lost it now you try to tell us
what the hell we’re fighting for
well I don’t think we’re going to listen
too your bullshit anymore
you say we’ve got to stay the course
well can’t you hear the ocean roar
the mighty judgment’s coming down
we’re gonna have to fly to reach the shore
find myself an eagle feather
stood for freedom once I’m told
throw out all your faded symbols
and pray to God to make me bold
and set out now to make a difference
before I’m like you
scared and old

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 3 : They Went Mad

Well your ship sailed out today
you said you thought the weather’s lifted
guess I’ve nothing left to say
you never promised you’d stay with me
guess we went a little mad
when the storm rolled in to blind us
guess we might as well be glad
to leave all them days behind us
well

Ain’t much left in the world today
and I don’t give a damn for the words you say
for the ones I lost and the ones I had
well I stayed for a while but I musta gone mad

Ain’t much left in the world today
and I don’t give a damn for the words you say
for the ones I lost and the ones I had
well I stayed for a while but I musta gone mad

Well another storm rolled in
yeah this one I weathered solo
and I watched the clouds roll by
while the time was passing so slow
Got a postcard in the spring
I got something left to give you
bein’ sane is no great thing
guess I’d rather be mad with you
Yeah

Ain’t much left in the world today
and I don’t give a damn for the words you say
for the ones I lost and the ones I had
well I stayed for a while but I musta gone mad

Ain’t much left in the world today
and I don’t give a damn for the words you say
for the ones I lost and the ones I had
well I stayed for a while but I musta gone mad

Ain’t much left in the world today
and I don’t give a damn for the words you say
for the ones I lost and the ones I had
well I stayed for a while but I musta gone mad

Ain’t much left in the world today
and I don’t give a damn for the words you say
for the ones I lost and the ones I had
well I stayed for a while but I musta gone mad
Gone mad
Gone mad
They went mad

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 2 : Good Luck

Kid you wanna play in the band
you wanna ditch the nine to five
you say you wanna hold your fate in your hand
don’t want to have to hate your life to stay alive
kid you must be dreaming
kid you must be cracked
kid you’re fighting heavy odds
and it’s on your head they’re stacked
and the drummer lost the beat and the rhythm went to hell
and the bass player wasn’t looking too well
and the guitar player mistook the chords
and the singer’s voice cracked, he forgot the words
kid you’re looking a little sick
it ain’t as easy as you might think
maybe you lost your energy
yeah, maybe you just stink
hey kid are you leaving
hey kid are you beat
hey kid why you standing there
you think you’re gonna take the heat
don’t sell out don’t sell yourself short
don’t give in give up or give out
hey kid I can only say Good Luck
hey kid let me hear you shout
let me hear you shout

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Battles and Bands 1 : Sand and Ashes

I awoke from peaceful sleep
to find that I had gone too deep
by my bed there was a heap
of sand and ashes, sand and ashes

thought my body would be kept
from corruption while I slept
now there’s nothing left except
sand and ashes, sand and ashes

Hey man gun in your hand
think you’ve found the way to the promised land
all your dreams will turn to sand
and ashes in your mouth

Hey man gun in your hand
think you’ve found the way to the promised land
all your dreams will turn to sand
and ashes in your mouth

Used to have a golden touch
now I don’t add up to much
happiness is just a crutch
sand and ashes, sand and ashes

nothing left to me but vice
promises and bad advice
I took the trip, I’ll pay the price
sand and ashes, sand and ashes

Hey man gun in your hand
think you’ve found the way to the promised land
all your dreams will turn to sand
and ashes in your mouth

Hey man gun in your hand
think you’ve found the way to the promised land
all your dreams will turn to sand
and ashes in your mouth

Hey man gun in your hand
think you’ve found the way to the promised land
all your dreams will turn to sand
and ashes

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Interim Phase 2: Battles and Bands

I was in a couple of bands in college, hastily concocted for the purpose of participating in the annual Battle of the Aforementioned, put on by the college radio station, KUMM (University of Minnesota, Morris being my alma mater). Which charmingly billed itself as the only radio station that put KUMM in your ear. The first band, the Stanley's House of Doors Band, was not very imaginatively named for the large, dilapidated, and mystifyingly over-endowed with doors rental house that all of we members lived in.

Indeed this band took first place at that year's Battle of the Bands with a set of covers and originals, a few of the latter bearing lyrics written by me. This band also later prompted one of those small world moments when I was sitting smoking a cigarette on the steps of my brother's apartment in Minneapolis and some friend of one of his fellow tenants looked strangely at me and then said "Stanley's House of Doors Band!"

The next year two of the members of that band had moved on to brighter lights and I joined my roommate in forming a new band. (We now lived in a rental trailer-home lot some enterprising slum lord had erected on the edge of town, a truly dismal little hovel up on cinder blocks, it's grim semiotics fully ameliorated by the fact that my rent there was $110 a month in 1993-1994, plus propane for the gas heater. We put heavy plastic over every window come winter and proceeded to smoke, heavily and unrepentantly, until my girlfriend (the one that came after the one I get into below) refused flatly to visit me at home any more. My roommate gave them up later in the winter. Not too long prior the school had finally banned smoking in the last few holdout spots indoors and one of the other former Stanley's Etc. bandmates, who was working maintenance crews in the summer, brought me one of the giant, silver, wall mounted ashtrays that had been stripped from the walls, a button beside the bifurcated tray to open its halves out and dump the accumulated butts into the bullet-shaped reservoir below. This I bolted to the side of the slight deck and staircase set against the side (and only) door and proceeded to smoke outside in the midst of a genuinely heinous winter on the prairie, so as to be a better influence). The name of the band was Crackspine, its genre was Hardcore, and I gamely endeavored to write hardcore lyrics in the spirit of the thing. I had a wretched case of bronchitis during the Battle of the Bands and we did not win.

Somewhere before or in and along this thing I wrote a series of connected, vaguely narrative songs called The Masks, so named for their extraordinarily clichéd central metaphor. These were inspired by a break-up, naturally, the same one that spawned the last two of the Journal Songs. In retrospect that relationship was fairly misbegotten and I was lucky to be out of it and would probably have been better off if it's total duration had been shortened by about two thirds but of course it was my first serious college relationship so I was unclear on these realities at the time.

Such as they are, then, these songs. Some were nearly lost, I dug out of the inexorably decaying disk-based data archives a rough rip from analog (VHS, to be precise) of that long ago triumphant Battle, which had been missing for a couple years now, and was in quite literally the last place I had to look. Which allowed me to transcribe a few that I'd lost all written record of. Whatever the lyrics may represent in themselves, this was the first time I really intentionally set myself to serially writing verse to be sung, and I suppose I never really stopped.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Journal Songs 6 : Not Enough

2,084 : 15 ?


Love is not enough though this is what we must have thought
And I’m not sure what kind of thing we thought that we’d bought
And it was good for me to love you, though I’ve hurt it was
And if you ask me why I think it’s so, well - Just because

And If I had it all to do I’d do it all again
For I will not believe that what he had was some great sin
We made mistakes I’m sure well just like everyone must do
Don’t ask me why I feel this way, I just believe it’s true

And if I hear the rulers of this dark world at my door
Testifying that my judgment in this thing was poor
I’ll rebuke them though they might well nail me to the wall
What we had was worth it I just think so that is all

And I’m not sayin’ that we should go back to where we were
Time is come for movin’ on but of one thing I’m sure
One day we’ll all laugh together, all of us who tried
And finally get the answers, for every tear we cried

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Journal Songs 5 : Jenny's Song

These are the Holes you Left Behind
Holes on my walls, holes in my mind
Holes where pictures used to be
You seem nervous I look happy

I can’t believe you got so brave
That you could set both of us free
That you could say what I could see
And you tried so hard to be kind
You couldn’t save
me from the holes you left behind

I would have waited just a little more
It wouldn’t have helped but then what did
And just who am I tryin’ to kid
There’s not much for
These holes you left behind

These are the holes you left behind
I try to fill them in my mind
Try with one for two to atone
I try to smile but I’m alone

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Journal Songs 4 : Sometimes On My Mind

I met you in an old notebook
I kept from long ago
I though for sure that I had gotten
rid of you completely
I saw you on TV with some old friends
we both still know
I had to wonder if you were still
tryin’ to defeat me
But then I knew it couldn’t be so
I knew you must forget me
I never got to say goodbye
You know, you’d never let me
I don’t mean to say
I want you back, you know I don’t
I don’t mean to say I’m sorry
I may be, but I won’t
For I have found a truer love
I’ve left you far behind
I guess that all I had to say
Is sometimes you are on my mind
And I won’t hurt you if you wanna talk
you know I’m glad to
I never meant to cause you pain
I just did the things I had to

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Journal Songs 3 : Moths

2,078 : 9 ?


Moths dance for light in the window well
Radio sings with a story to tell
Blind men dream about heaven and hell
The deaf man can’t hear the warning bell
Me I just lit my last cigarette
what’s death when life seems a losing bet
wanting whatever I can’t seem to get
Life’s love the stars in their courses set
Just another war, just another defeat
Summer burns off winter’s lust for heat
Try to keep the death in my head discreet
Try not to show that my heart missed a beat
Moths know they’re destined, to light they fly
Living for hope that from here seems a lie
It’s light that they live for, for light they’ll die
Just another mote in God’s knowing eye

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Journal Songs 2 : Anarchist's Revenge

Absolute chaos
Trial by fire
Civilization’s
funeral pyre
End of order
Law’s demise
Anarchy is on the rise
Anarchy, Anarchy -
I’ll change the world, wait and see
Anarchy, Anarchy-
Leave the planet’s fate
To me

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim : Journal Songs 1 : Requiem

I don’t wanna die
A child of technology
I will die when it’s
the universe’s time for me
I don’t wanna die in an automobile
with a flash of light and a crash of steel
steel piercing flesh, the last thing I feel
that’s why
I don’t wanna die in an automobile

I don’t wanna die - underneath a gun
though guns don’t kill people it was Adam’s son
It was by technology the deed was done
that’s why
I don’t wanna die - underneath a gun

I don’t wanna live
A child of technology
A thousand tubes and bottles
going in and out of me
I will die in an icy stream
with only the water to hear my scream
until my body’s nature’s dream
I will die in an icy stream

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Interim Phase 1: The Journal Songs

I kept a personal journal for a long time - from early teens to early thirties, and for a good chunk of 8 or 9 years in there wrote almost daily. At some point very early in the century I felt like it had just become a workbook where I came and inscribed a reiteration of quotidian existential sorrows against which I was making no sort of progress and I quit. Its many volumes now squat in a couple of boxes tucked back into a dim shelf in the basement, daring me to do anything at all with it. I tried intentionally reading it a couple of times (when I was in the midst of writing it I would frequently browse over older material but this habit did not persist past its active life) but always came rather quickly up against some point in my life the recollection of which was painfully unpleasant. It is not always so great to encounter relatively sincere representations of your younger selves. I kind of prefer my less documented antecedent, who I can edit mentally as needed to not be quite such a dumbass.

So to date I've only done two things with the journals since they went into the boxes. When I compiled the questionable visual document of my existence we call The Bootstrap Gospel Graphic Novel, I scanned a bunch of small, cartoon-ish self-portraits I'd sketched in the books over the years (a habit that now brings to mind the inherently solipsistic nature of the journal, not that there's anything particularly wrong with that), printed copies of them and pasted them into a multi-page collage for the book's penultimate section, entitled "Spheres of Influence."

The other thing I did, quite recently, was to go through all the books and pull out the handful of incidental song lyrics I'd written in its pages over the years. There turned out to be rather less of these than I'd expected. The thing is, I had this very clear recollection of writing half a dozen songs and assumed this would translate into at least a couple dozen, considering the ones I didn't remember writing. But it turned out I remembered almost all the songs I'd written in my journals. I also deemed some number of my versical efforts to have been intended as poems, and have permitted myself the kindness of omitting them for this project, as they are awful. In any event, these are the most juvenile of the juvenilia about to be presented, though a certain persistent sensibility is evident from the start.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Interim

Which wraps it up for project one of the Songs of Days. I wrote My Masterpiece, put the book on the shelf, and wrote next to nothing, lyrically speaking, for over 4 years.

Between closing the first daily project and initiating the second we got married, bought a house, had a child. I became a homemaking parent, leaving the 40 hour week office work world for the first time since I left college. And somewhere in the first year of that new life, following a train of thought I no longer have a clear grasp on, I decided I would begin again, this time with the intent of writing 10,000 consecutive songs in as many days. The scope of this project is just shy of 27 and a half years. If I persist (and survive) the project will be completed on Saturday, September 18, 2032, half a month past my 61st birthday.

I'll begin posting those songs, whose writing is ongoing, on the 6th anniversary of their inception, May 4, 2011. In the meantime, I present:

The Interim.

Between January 7, 2011 and May 3, 2011 I'll post most of the lyrics I have written outside of the Songs of Days projects - before, during, after, in between and during again. There are not quite enough of these for daily posting until May, but it will be nice to take weekends off from blogging for a while. For those of you following along at home, look forward to the opportunity of imagining my squirming embarrassment as I present to the public for the first time the angst-ridden products of my adolescence and much, much more. Sadly some of the true gems of my youth are apparently gone for good... I remember one with a sort of D&D, horseback knight in armor theme that was really about a girl who shot me down in high school, which, damn. I can only remember a couple slight scraps of those lyrics and that is a shame. I got rid of a very great deal of personal ephemera after I graduated from college, a decision I mostly don't regret, but this product along with a lot of other youth writing was probably a victim of that purge. Anyway I'll give you what I've got.

Post Script, May 2011: Now that this project is complete, a quick guide to the various sections of the interim and links to what I wrote about them:

Phase 1. The Journal Songs, posted January 7 through January 17, 2011
Phase 2. Battles and Bands, posted January 18 through February 28, 2011
Phase 3. The Two Track Mind Era, posted March 2 through April 22, 2011
Phase 4. The Lepton Lyrics, posted April 25 through May 3, 2011

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

1,001 : 1/5/01 : My Masterpiece

I won’t stop I can’t desist or cease
Do you wanna come up for a cup?
I’ll let you see my masterpiece
I’ve got it under lock and key, I keep it under my bed
I’ve got it under a bushel basket
it’s all locked up tight inside my head
Someday I’m gonna be rich and famous
a real Picasso of verse
Maybe I’ll get something better than fame
I can’t see much that’s worse
What do you think of it so far
This row I chose to hoe on
What do you think of my Masterpiece
it’s all I have to go on
We’re rolling; nothing’s ever final
things take a life of their own
in bits and bytes and tape and vinyl
It’s time to wrap up the masterpiece
put it back up on the shelf
I don’t know call it what you will
It’s just a thing I tell myself

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

1,000 : 1/4/00 : The Inevitable

The inevitable final failure
final triumph, penultimate thrash
We’re all standing on the same line
We’ll all get knocked off by the crash
When it comes my time for leaving
I don’t want nobody to moan
I know the Kingdom’s coming baby
and this veil of flesh is just a loan
How well I know it’s just one loop
and each word we say is irrevocable
I’ll keep my counsel till the moment comes
then step up to the great inevitable
it could be tomorrow it comes
who can say it couldn’t be today
it may be that it comes never
I’ve heard it sometimes happens that way
when the inevitable final reckoning
draws my equation’s sum
I’ll pull my hand outta that pie in the sky
I’ll be holding a perfect plum

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

999 : 1/3/01 : Wage Slave Redux

2,070 : 1 ?


Roll out the red, strike up the band
come on tough guy stand an hour
in my shoes
singing the wage slave blues
It’s heart and soul baby liver and lights
Ooh lord we gonna have a time tonight
Dancing the wage slave rag
This time next year we’ll have a whole new bag
No message here no nothing surprising
‘bout the workers revolution and the radical uprising
Aw baby get that wage slave swing
wage slave redux, a man is how he fucks
aw shucks I ain’t got no excuses for
the way I am
Kicking out the wage slave jam
But forget it tonight baby
and let your attitude get right baby
Do it till you drop
hip to the wage slave hop

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

998 : 1/2/01 : Tha Afterlife

What will it be after the light goes out
will another light come one
what do you think of tha afterlife theory
or that maybe it’s been come and gone
I dreamed I died on a bus
came back as a werewolf
Forgot my fate my spectral state
I dreamed I saw the Rapture
But I didn’t get taken
But I refused to rise to that bait
Ain’t thought too much about tha afterlife theory
Tha afterlife itself or even dying
who knows what comes
I only know I’ll not waste
My time goodbying

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

997 : 1/1/01 : Rock and Roll

Rock and roll
rock and roll
rock and roll
In the beginning
God created
rock and roll
To the mountain
to the sea
to the valley, you and me
in my heart dear
in my soul
God created
rock and roll
I
Cross the Mississippi
on a bus
I don’t think I’m crazy
but you must
while they count their
Silver and gold
I escaped with Rock and roll

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The end of the beginning

The first songs of day project is nearing the end, just five songs to go. I'm trying to remember how I felt about the whole thing at the time. Ten years ago is a long time, though, and I was no longer keeping a journal at the time so I have no record appeal to. I recall being pretty caught up in my work situation, a condition that persisted for another couple of years. My never particularly robust aspirations to make some kind of a serious go at making music had definitely been pretty well cracked up on the rocks at that point. I think I was satisfied with my final songs. I don't think I felt much if any conflict about the project ending.

It is a weird, other world viewed through a lens of historical distortion, both personal and societal history. Before marriage, before child, before a gang of suicidal monotheistic zealots attained some fundamental change in this country, or maybe just better exposed a rot, a flaw that had been there from the beginning. Or maybe just opened my eyes more thoroughly to this thoroughly rotten world, I don't know. Before the world changed, again, and definitively not for the better. Before the turn of the century, and the beginning of this unpromising and fragile new one, in which I have been so thoroughly disappointed, now poised to commence the start of its tenth year. And me hoping as always for a better path, a better plan, some new philosophy, but for now left only with the one borrowed from another, to push on.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

996 : 12/31/00 : 5 to 1

Five to one and one to five
maybe the less blessed survive
Easy enough to slip off the coil
free of the misery heartache and toil
12 of one, half dozen another
maybe it’s like what I heard from my brother
the dice are loaded and the fix is in
The world is doomed and drowned in sin
five four three two one and none
Father holy ghost and son
counting down an uncertain fate
Certain to finish what’s on my plate

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

995 : 12/30/00 : Coming Down

One Billion billion unique crystals
suspended a mile high
coming down as soft as breath
all caught and frozen in my mind’s eye
Turn it all around an axis
skyscrapers, streets and cars
people shopping kids in strollers
Girls in shops and guys in bars
Coming down on all of it
in a soft and yielding pile
pushed around and off the streets
to linger for a little while
transformation comes so easy
with the seasons with the days
with the hours the world’s turning
it comes down and never stays
more than half a planet’s journey
since the question the reply
now it’s coming down suspended
caught and frozen in my mind’s eye

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

994 : 12/29/00 : Go To the Mountain

I went to Buddha and then
back to Jesus Christ
I went to Mohammed asked him
how he pulled the Mountain heist
The Buddha made a secret sign
And Jesus smiled and shrugged
Mohammed didn’t say anything
when at his hem I tugged
And I said guess I better go to the mountain
Guess I better go there myself
No point waitin’ for the Lord to
pull another miracle off the shelf
Guess I better go to the mountain
and argue my own case
Guess that I’ve exhausted the potential
of staying in one place

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

993 : 12/28/00 : Violence

A crucible constructed for the temperance of silence
the mode of execution was a whispered dream
the solitary method that came through was violence
the product of the process was the silent meme

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

992 : 12/27/00 : Resin

The residue burns easily and
leaves a resin in the bowl
That wise men mix with paper fortunes
light it with a burning coal
The resin the rosin the sap the blood
That flows all through the fire
settles on the back of my throat
seems to stimulate the wire
And when the pile’s been consumed
it leaves a residue behind
that powdered up and drank with wine
Blows wise men’s wise dogs’ minds

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

991 : 12/26/00 : Drill

When you drill into my head with pain
is that something
does that mean anything?
Sick to death and lying in the dark
is it supposed to do
anything but bark?
The drill is evil, the drill lets me down
you use the drill too much
it locks me in a frown
the drill detracts from my quality of life
but if it isn’t the drill
it’s the knife
I fell asleep and saw
the drill was in it’s hand
I came awake and saw
the writing in the sand
let he who has no sin
forsake the drill and what it means
the rest of them must stand in line
the drill waits too
behind the scenes

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

990 : 12/25/00 : Hello Kitty Kat

Hello Kitty Kat
howdja get to be a kitty like that?
Hello Kitty Kat
Howdja get to be a kitty like that?
Hello Mousiekins
Could I bother you to die for my sins?
Hey there Mousiekins
Is this where it all begins
Good day Malcolm Kay
Only 19 letters to judgement day
Good day Malcolm Jay
Good grief, going backwards, this could take all day
Hello Kitty Kat
What exactly do you make of that?
Good by Kitty Kat
dunno what it means but it ends like that

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

989 : 12/24/00 : Anticipation

Heaven’s gonna be like
sitting at the station
A permanent vacation
Waiting to traverse a nation
coast to coast
from last to most
there’s nothing quite so good
as the anticipation

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

988 : 12/23/00 : Rome

As the trains rattle the wall
I follow another ordinary call
I’m going home but it’s not my home
So to wrap it on the sixth line
I prepare to greet what’s half mine
What would be true wherever I may roam

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

987 : 12/22/00 : Couplet

Racing through oblivious not hearing
listening or seeing what you’re fearing
the rush of senses makes it seem okay
To write another couplet song today
Circularity betrays awareness
less’n you are dealing with His Freakness
even then you always used the loop
and there was even lower you would stoop
The technique calls for linkages via phone
the final proof we’ve never been alone
for every socket there’s a plug to fit
for every drive a spare to slave to it
despite a fear of landing on my feet
I’ll race ahead to couple with the beat

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

986 : 12/21/00 : Moon Water (Reprise)

Is this the enlightenment?
No more water in the pail
No more moon in the water
The moment I think I understand
it’s already out of hand
tied with a bamboo strip
fall through the crack in our lives
where one man falls another strives
And on the moon the water is
nowhere there is no water on the moon
there’s no pail in the mind
the moon and all are left behind
Another theory proves suspect
another paradigm reject
It’s all it’s nothing anyway
that’s all there is nothing else to say

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

985 : 12/20/00 : The Grim

The grim slow dragging
of days one like another
The endless cavalcade of
this and that and the other
The endless disappointment of
the phone that never rings
the endless meaningless parade
a thousand useless things

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

984 : 12/19/00 : Led Astray

Led astray
led astray
we’ve all been led astray
by
the biggest lie
the world had
ever known
Apparently they told us
that the world was
twenty inches wide
And if you want the
truth my mind
was blown

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

983 : 12/18/00 : Money Factory

Shake that
gingerbread box
baby
Act like you
don’t know what talks
maybe
You need a
lesson taught
Don’t you
you think you’re
clever but you’re not
Won’t you
Open up your eyes to see
that you’re
nothing but a money factory
a whore

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

982 : 12/17/00 : Simply

Simply brilliant in a
minute simply
plain as light
plain as
light
in a dark room
I will solve it
in a moment
with the first
glimmer
the spark
that lights
everything
the illuminated
void
simply becomes
a
bright
white
light

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

981 : 12/16/00 : One One Three Three

Eyes open upside down
read one one three three
half an hour to
another hour to
the witching hour
Another day done
didn’t finish
half of what begun
There’s nothing left
to this night
it got used up
But watchin’ Doctor Who
Late night channel 2
far past primetime
Saturday Night Live
No longer worth my time
Spinning out
no regeneration for this one
another life might wait
there’s only this one now so
I say only in my sorrow
there’s always tomorrow

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

980 : 12/15/00 : Prevention

An ounce of prevention
for a pound of cure
Sometimes our decisions
just can’t be pure
or can they?
another fine mess
up in smoke
Guess I should learn
to take a joke
what can I say?
I scarcely like to
Say the word aloud
admit that I had
Broken what I bowed
today a jar but what about the next Day?

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

979 : 12/14/00 : The Interlude

Dizzying heights
to either side
this is a smooth spot
in a Wild Ride
The rapids left behind you
the climb that looms ahead
It’s very little wonder
that you spent the week in bed
The interlude?
say what’s your question, dude?
This is just a
placid creek
But that mountain’s
got a mean streak
So close your eyes
be here now
lean close to me
I’ll tell you how
The interlude just comes and goes
and of its function no one knows

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

978 : 12/13/00 : Tempus Fugit

2,049 : 1 ?


Time flies like an arrow friend
fruit flies like a banana
Ain’t it just like they said
it would be back in Louisiana
Tempus fugit all the time
it never pauses or rests
and nobody seeks nothing more
than all the tempus one invests
Don’t look now the wheel is whirling
sure seems faster than before
Don’t look now it’s catching fire
Don’t look now it’s at the door
Don’t look back lest ye become
a pillar on the wastes
any man not worth his salt
will blanch at how his portion tastes
but if his wishes were like larks
in harness to a slender chain
and somehow all hooked up to time
We’d check time’s flight in vain

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

977 : 12/12/00 : Gauss

The measurement of action at a distance
extension, mass and time, the rhyme of resistance
The unbearable burden of being
of singing, writing, breathing, and seeing
Give me an inch, an ounce, and a second
A centimeter or a gram’ll do I reckon
Give me a magnet, give me a gauss
There’s a chemist rocking the acid house.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

976 : 12/11/00 : The Package

The package is prepared for takeoff
the freon’s been topped off
not gonna worry ‘bout the ozone layer
It’s headed far beyond the atmosphere
Carl said there must be a billion
like us except they made it past the first million
years or so and so survived
to inherit the stars their birthright
Let’s hope they find the package and
have mercy on our warlike land
I fear that based on current trends
it’s that or soon the human genome ends
We prepared the package with
the best that we could come up with
I personally deposited seven times
once for luck and six for my crimes
It’s drifting now past Jupiter
this song couldn’t get much stupider
and as it surfs past Saturn’s rings
I’ll wisely move on to wiser things

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

975 : 12/10/00 : Attempted

Fifth
suspected
attempted
communication
from the future
was
interpreted as a
self actualizing
lexical
feedback
response loop
manifesting
as a
pseudo-idiopathic
semi-autonomous
syntax
generation
engine

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

974 : 12/9/00 : Clutter

What at first appeared to be
a random heap that rose
from several thousand pointless tasks
not one came to a close;
the clutter rose a story high
and scattered over a block
seen from a distance with a squint
composed an ironic clock
which told time backwards starting from
when chaos ruled this all
a whirling maelstrom from which
appeared the primordial wall
the clutter gave birth to a gate
that passed between the planes
of corporeal clutter and spiritual decay
as little as that explains;
suffice to say as usual
there’s consequences and sides
sometimes you just take what you’re dealt
be grateful that the earth abides

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

973 : 12/8/00 : The Mushroom Grace

The mushroom grace’s tale is told
How yesteryear in days of old
the people found a mushroom that could talk
Men ate its fruit and spoke to god
a few remained forevermore odd
murmuring and casting wildly as they walked
its presence was ubiquitous
some claimed its spell iniquitous
a priesthood was arranged to guard its heart
The mushroom grace remained aloof
regarding one, defying proof
and proving in a sense the whole
appeared in every part.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

972 : 12/7/00 : Beginnings and Their Ends

No this is not the end
oh ends and their beginnings
Typical me still standing in line
and already I’m counting my winnings
at the beginning of the end of the beginning
I can only see dimly what it means
just that I rose an inch above the swill
and saw the great soul-harvest machines
Yes this still is the beginning
it comes with all the love he sends
Oh nature of the long journey
oh beginnings and their ends
Wake me with the early risers
pour my cup with theirs
it is not my nature but
no beginning quite compares

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

971 : 12/6/00 : Thirteen Minute Waltz

2,043 : 25 ?


One
two
three
four
five
six
seven
eight
nine
ten
eleven
twelve
thirteen minute waltz

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

970 : 12/5/00 : Fetish

The fetish for a
fresh shake baby
left a generation
shakin’ they head’n sayin’ “maybe”
nobody felt cool anymore
and mostly it was a bore
like fetishes always get
so it seemed
and whether or not the
video streamed
when she
screamed
we were dreamin’ of
the heart beating beneath the ribs

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

969 : 12/4/00 : The Early Riser Haiku (Haiku 5)

The early riser:
Haiku bent, brilliant and strong
declaring: no loss

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

968 : 12/3/00 : Suffice (Haiku 4)

Suffice it to say
I am so sorry I’m late
better than never

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

967 : 12/2/00 : Wurm Haiku (Haiku 3)

Wurm haiku goes like:
one two three, so to seven
frontwards same as back

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

966 : 12/1/00 : Haiku Too (Haiku 2)

real millennium
gestation, the child is born
this is haiku, too

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

965 : 11/30/00 : Stray Haiku (Haiku 1)

Confusion of verse
stray haiku flutters brilliant
I’m one line closer

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

964 : 11/29/00 : If I Don’t Burn

2,036 : 19 ?



If I don’t burn then how will I know
the way I’ve been and the way to go
I need a spark I need some gasoline
I need a mechanic to put wheels on this machine
If I don’t burn then I’ll never feel
the fundamental difference between false and real
I’m lost in the illusion I feel that I’m asleep
I sense my soul’s duplicity while trying to sound deep
the monks crossed their legs and set themselves on fire
they left a fearsome image but their aims were so much higher
If I set myself on fire it wouldn’t mean a thing
though few within a stone’s throw would forget that scream
Chicago burned San Francisco too
all the best cities so why not you
fire is the cleanser, the means of sacrifice
concealing every evidence concealing every price
If I don’t burn then I’ll just stand still
I tell myself I won’t but I know I will
I need some gasoline I need a spark
I need a little courage and an X to spot the mark

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

963 : 11/28/00 : Fetch

Fetch me something to ease this feeling
that it all comes down to me
just when my head is reeling
Fetch me something and make it quick
Show me just what makes me tick
how long does it all go on
just when you give up asking
poof it’s gone
fetch me something to make me forget
how little I can stand it
I need a faithful friend of man
to put the stick right in my hand
I need a carrot to tempt the horse
I’ll fetch it myself of course
I’m tired of waiting for the information
I need a break an eternal vacation
I’m tired of waiting for the muse to fetch
I’m tired of listening to myself kvetch
I guess I better just go after the thing
or find something else to sing

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

962 : 11/27/00 : The Negative

The negative balance
racking up higher
I’m feeling the constriction of
the rose and the briar
I’m blaming it on you
I’m blaming it on me
I’m blaming it on everything
on what’s to come and what’s to be
It’s written in black
but my mind is red
I’m falling far behind
but I’m trying to get ahead
but the final analysis
it hits me where I live
frustrated by the specter
of the negative

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

961 : 11/26/00 : Hard 8 Horoscope

The usual platitudes
they fail to disguise
the set of your jaw
the cast of your eyes
Steps softly this noontime
seek gatherings late
beware of the size of
the chop on your plate
I’ll grab 8 the hard way
then make my way back
into the whole life thing
The whole social track
I’ll throw 8 in two fours
wake 2 and wake six
and rise like a lark swift
just watch me no tricks

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

960 : 11/25/00 : I Dare You

I dare you to rise above
the tepidness you’re part of
the lives lived in dull accord
the lies we could ill afford
I dare you to chose a move
I dare you a heresy to prove
that everything that rises must converge
or be hung endless on the urge
I dare you to dare a dream
of something just what it seems

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

959 : 11/24/00 : Fuck Me

Fuck me baby
it’s a simple request
buck your hips with your head
down on my chest
take me how I help myself
lie back and get your rocks off
fuck me baby and I’ll Fuck you back
Yeah I’ll fuck your socks off
You don’t have to make me sane
Your answer can be maybe
say the word and I’m your bitch
So hey just fuck me baby

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

958 : 11/23/00 : Hard

There are hard lessons in life
there are hard lessons in war
It’s hard to understand just
what it is we’re fighting for
Sometimes it’s hard to be thankful
Sometimes it’s hard to be clear
And to keep the constant stream of truth
from flowing out the other ear
Give me a hard bed to lie on
give me a hard loaf to gnaw
and I’ll tell you how I travelled far
and I’ll tell you all I saw
Seven years living the hard life
trying to see what it was about
I only just realized the other day
that I still had to find my way out
So take a hard look at my coming and going
and answer a question true
If the better way is the harder one
does that mean I’ll walk it without you?

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

957 : 11/22/00 : Core

2,028 : 11 ?


The core is only
white light and the rush
hot hard or soft
Shouts whispers hush
anticipation
is a game we play as long
as we can get away with it
the core of the dance is the song
we’re getting near the center cap’n
Should we go to stealth
if you want to penetrate the core
you can’t fear too much for your health

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

956 : 11/21/00 : Brief

Then out like a
brief candle

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Consummate my relationship with your brain

Or if that just sounds too freaky for you, merely consume. After a long hiatus I have reopened the Media Empire Shop for business. To celebrate I'm offering a just ever so slightly scandalous actual physical product for sale. There's a whole big story about it you can read if you're, you know, into that kind of thing.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

955 : 11/20/00 : Bad Novel

An overly descriptive and
derivative
mass of pottage
self obsessed,
confessional
unstructured
unprofessional
My life’s like a bad novel
my life’s like a bad novel
my life’s like a bad novel
by a bad novelist

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

954 : 11/19/00 : Response

Respondez vous, s’il vous plait
you know I get one every day
Request response if you so please
How do you judge it on your knees
Under duress duty or need
Compelled to grovel beg and plead
compelled to be a proper bitch
and cower at the lash’s twitch
Demand response a show of heart
demand an answer to your art
Do not consider don’t delay
Simply respond, s’il vous plait

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

953 : 11/18/00 : Instantaneous

Right now
only what I feel
a waiting a wondering
only what’s real
turned around a center
an unseen balancing
just a need to rhyme
hung and spun there dancing

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

952 : 11/17/00 : Verbal

let’s make a verbal agreement
you and I
not a contract
not an eye for an eye
no handshake required
my word’s my bond
In a world of bad faith
we’re a firm step beyond
Let’s make a deal
to reveal the new sound
let’s run the running dogs
right into the ground
Let’s lead an army
of five or ten
make everything new again
the only way to go is verbal
no marks on paper no bad blood allowed
let’s make a pact to push on baby
make the new sound
and make it loud

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

951 : 11/16/00 : Parting Shot

Bend over and take your
parting shot, loser
It’s a winner’s world and
I win a lot
don’t let it confuse ya
I’ll take the final word
I’ll end the dialog
I’ll administer the final shot
and disappear into the fog
so
stand up and
take my parting shot
loser
You think you’re winning
but you’re not
the proof’s here:
While you try
to turn my crank
I’ll laugh all the way
to the bank

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

950 : 11/15/00 : Genesis

2,021 : 4 ?


In the beginning
it all seemed the same
The credits rolled
and then it came
genesis in flashing lights
neon pulse and sway
pointing to a neon cross
world of tomorrow today
In the beginning
one day came like the last
and ended on a hesitant
note, not quite really past
and smiling past what seemed to be
into the vortex forming
I looked out of the window
and saw the snow was storming

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

949 : 11/14/00 : One Last

One last song before I
tip into the bottle
oh my baby done me wrong
and left me chokin’ my own throttle
one last short
before I stumble down the road
lookin’ for a way back baby
to a home that never showed
well it may be that things are changin’
it may be a change is due
for that wind to change direction
blow these troubles back to you
one more nip out of the bottle
one last store bought cigarette
I just took about a thousand
but it just ain’t hit me yet

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

948 : 11/13/00 : Short Climb

Do you want the short climb
in the long run
Do you want what’s settled
Or just begun
Do you want a long climb
to a new horizon
be careful what you ask for
and what you keep your eyes on

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

947 : 11/12/00 : Election

Run a ring a ring around
the rosy spectacled go-round
another vote another count
another four years won’t amount
to much except the rhetoric
and by that time I’ll bet you’re sick
of looking for a suitable mode or direction
away to deal with the election

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

946 : 11/11/00 The Other Half

Hey Guvnor:
we gonna follow you to
Washington
Follow you to Washington
Follow you to Washington
Unify the other half
and rewrite the constitution
Four years down the road
Hey Guvnor:
We gunna carry you to Washington
On our shoulders every one
Marching each to his own drum
We only need one issue
and it’s all about
election
Comin’ four years down the road

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

945 : 11/10/00 : Last Reckoning (27/27 Two Word Songs)

Last reckoning

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

944 : 11/9/00 : Gumption’s Ghost (26/27 Two Word Songs)

944 : 11/9/00 : Gumption’s Ghost (26/27 Two Word Songs)Gumption’s ghost

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

943 : 11/8/00 : Shifting Sand (25/27 Two Word Songs)

2,014 : 66 ?


Shifting sand

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

942 : 11/7/00 : Lesser Evils (24/27 Two Word Songs)

Lesser evils

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

941 : 11/6/00 : Wrong Answer (23/27 Two Word Songs)

Wrong answer

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

940 : 11/5/00 : Temperate Man (22/27 Two Word Songs)

Temperate man

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Caveat Collaborator

A friend wrote me the other day and among other things praised the two word songs (just a week left now, my how a month flies), which was unexpected. He also pointed out one of those things that is so utterly obvious as soon as it is pointed out but I swear it never occurred to me before, which is that they represented a ready-made batch of enigmatic titles for instrumental compositions. Never occurred to me.

I'll tell you though, I can see why it wouldn't, because I don't much, particularly lately, think of myself as a musician. Creatively I think of myself, if anything, as a lyricist. I do sing, a lot, and I suppose I shouldn't short-change that, because I'm not a bad singer. But in terms of composition and performance, I've generally given up. Becoming a competent instrumentalist is an every single day kind of undertaking and I don't have it in me. I am one of the world's very, very large supply of mediocre guitarists, and when I used to compose music for the guitar I was a terrible serial abuser of many overused progressions involving D, A, G, E, and C (with the occasional cheater F not done as a proper barre chord or minors of D, A or E thrown in). I played the clarinet in high school, and there is some ghost of a recollection of proper embouchure and the rudiments of keying lurking in the back of my brain I'm sure. I picked up a bit of sight reading singing with a church choir. That is about it. I still know basically nothing about music theory, don't get scales, how chords work, minors or major this or that, don't know what a "fifth" is.

I sometimes daydream, not very hopefully (and certainly not to the extent of taking any positive action) that I might find my musical counterpart, sort of, a copiously prolific composer and performer of music that I could neatly pair lyrics to, do my singing and be otherwise relieved of musical responsibility. I've had only one really substantial relationship of musical collaboration in my life, a long time ago now, that really did not work out for a variety of reasons (a fair share of which were my own fault). Right now it is hard to imagine taking music seriously even as an avocation. I feel constant pressure to try to do all the housekeeping and working and time volunteering and managing of home economics that are on my plate. It is hard to reconcile any of the necessities of serious musicianship, playing out, regular practice, going on tour, with my lifestyle as a homebody father and homemaking part time science research guy. A while ago in a blog that since got eaten by internet bad luck I wrote

There isn’t much chance of getting around the fact that one of the central questions (if not the central question) of the ongoing [song]writing is why I continue to lash myself to write lyrics day in day out when the pleasure I take in it is minimal, when (more relevant than anything) I have all but given up any dream of ever doing anything significant with music.  In fact something other than that even, I have given up any belief in a future for my music, which exists however I might belittle and disdain it, and yet dreams persist.  Dreams I don’t believe in, dreams I pity and despise.  Must I really toil in my inadequacy, just to dish thin gruel for disowned dreams?

I'm not quite so down on my current creative production these days. Still. This kind of attitude should generally serve as a warning to any putative potential collaborator, I suppose. Warning, subject is "complicated," and honestly I'm not all that damn sure that I'm anywhere near good enough to be quite that complicated. Not that I've asked anyone to get in line to try out for the position, not that anyone would if I did. But I sometimes wish I was willing to. I think, however, in the interest of keeping it all ambiguous, that when people ask me what I do these days I will tell them that I am a lyricist.

939 : 11/4/00 : Wealth Trip (21/27 Two Word Songs)

Wealth trip

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

938 : 11/3/00 : Baker’s Dozen (20/27 Two Word Songs)

Baker’s dozen

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

937 : 11/2/00 : Present Tense (19/27 Two Word Songs)

Present tense

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here