Chaos reigns in the small hours
chaos reigns in the ivory towers
I dream of an idea that transcends
in a crazy universe where nothing ends
make your movie make your novel
it won't mean much in this hovel
I dream of a day free of obligation
but I don't pretend, I've learned my station
whatever has been sent in the past
tomorrow's open, empty, ho, avast
I'll translate it when the moment comes
I won't remember the context or the sums
that add up to a final reckoning
and I hear the wild calling beckoning
what
Don't need fortune fame respect or speed.
All writings © Jonathan Mark Hamlow 1998-2023
Friday, March 31, 2017
Thursday, March 30, 2017
2.1792 : 3/30/10 : No More
No more
done
I'm not
the one
it is not
here
it will not
appear
I've had
enough
I've had
it tough
it isn't
great
but consider
my state
what
done
I'm not
the one
it is not
here
it will not
appear
I've had
enough
I've had
it tough
it isn't
great
but consider
my state
what
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
2.1791 : 3/29/10 : Apropos
It would seem to be apropos
that despite knowing exactly where to go
I keep pointing my nose at
where not to
as if by some compulsion
I've got to
what
that despite knowing exactly where to go
I keep pointing my nose at
where not to
as if by some compulsion
I've got to
what
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
2.1790 : 3/28/10 : Affect/Effect
No affect: no effect
one last time
this defect
one last time listen to me
if it wasn't so typical
it might be funny
I get a little bit
of my affect back
I need a little bit
of weight off my pack
I can't sustain one more
failed pass
guess I better pray hard
for you to save my ass
what
one last time
this defect
one last time listen to me
if it wasn't so typical
it might be funny
I get a little bit
of my affect back
I need a little bit
of weight off my pack
I can't sustain one more
failed pass
guess I better pray hard
for you to save my ass
what
Monday, March 27, 2017
2.1789 : 3/27/10 : Vile World
Excuse my belief
in this vile world
it is unjustified
beyond reason
I try as I might
for what it's worth
to fix what I can
in its season
I know you're frustrated
I know how it looks
and I can't show you
and you can't see
I've nothing to say
no excuses here
I do as I must
so secretly
what
in this vile world
it is unjustified
beyond reason
I try as I might
for what it's worth
to fix what I can
in its season
I know you're frustrated
I know how it looks
and I can't show you
and you can't see
I've nothing to say
no excuses here
I do as I must
so secretly
what
Sunday, March 26, 2017
2.1788 : 3/26/10 : The Path
Irritated by the path I'm set on
dreaming of some other train to get on
knowing it's a dream and a sham
How long can I keep falling for my own scam
I just want to feel it in my bones
And make it happen but I don't have the stones
Am I willing to scratch and beg?
to get the goose to lay a golden egg
If I tried to map the path out would I get it
Maybe it all happened and I chose to forget it
what
dreaming of some other train to get on
knowing it's a dream and a sham
How long can I keep falling for my own scam
I just want to feel it in my bones
And make it happen but I don't have the stones
Am I willing to scratch and beg?
to get the goose to lay a golden egg
If I tried to map the path out would I get it
Maybe it all happened and I chose to forget it
what
2.1787 : 3/25/10 : End of Lent
The end of lent
end of the fast
I didn't really stick to
whatever: that moment passed
and here comes another
early as it can be
a week to holy Thursday
The final commandment:
Thou shalt be
I haven't got a sum up point
a final online slide
I'm making it up as I go along
I'm taking the dividend
out of my hide
So easy to spin out the verse
so so hard to claim it
I've got another
habit to attend
then I'll come back and
tame it
what
end of the fast
I didn't really stick to
whatever: that moment passed
and here comes another
early as it can be
a week to holy Thursday
The final commandment:
Thou shalt be
I haven't got a sum up point
a final online slide
I'm making it up as I go along
I'm taking the dividend
out of my hide
So easy to spin out the verse
so so hard to claim it
I've got another
habit to attend
then I'll come back and
tame it
what
Friday, March 24, 2017
2.1786 : 3/24/10 : Early Start
Let's get an early early start
on this new deal
All you've got to have is heart
all you have to do is feel
In the middle of the night
I will be peaceful, gone
And while I'm still out of sight
you will hear my song
singing la la la la
la la la
la la la la la
One morning can't make it
not a month and a week
if you're really going to break it
at its terrible peak
It will be a game of ages
of years and years
hope I store up enough pages
for when it crashes 'round my ears
what
on this new deal
All you've got to have is heart
all you have to do is feel
In the middle of the night
I will be peaceful, gone
And while I'm still out of sight
you will hear my song
singing la la la la
la la la
la la la la la
One morning can't make it
not a month and a week
if you're really going to break it
at its terrible peak
It will be a game of ages
of years and years
hope I store up enough pages
for when it crashes 'round my ears
what
Thursday, March 23, 2017
2.1785 : 3/23/10 : Close Out
Close out to get this
messed up funk
now get it if
you dig this junk
tomorrow allow
stock will change
will turn completely
rearrange
can't be this one
can't be that
can't seem to find
a well fitting hat
still the picture I saw
was clear as a bell
I've got a heavy damn bag
of flowers to smell
what
messed up funk
now get it if
you dig this junk
tomorrow allow
stock will change
will turn completely
rearrange
can't be this one
can't be that
can't seem to find
a well fitting hat
still the picture I saw
was clear as a bell
I've got a heavy damn bag
of flowers to smell
what
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
2.1784 : 3/22/10 : Windmills
Quixote wasn't fighting the power
or speaking truth to the man
fighting inanimate objects
Is not such an impressive plan
Maybe I will learn this time
to really set down the lance
to really stop tilting the windmills
to really join the real dance
what
or speaking truth to the man
fighting inanimate objects
Is not such an impressive plan
Maybe I will learn this time
to really set down the lance
to really stop tilting the windmills
to really join the real dance
what
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
2.1783 : 3/21/10 : Hit It
The target's small so is the ball
I can't seem to win my baby
anything at all
I can't hit it, hit it
Why won't I quit it?
Screw the ball and give me a bat
and I will hit that
that carnie's staring at me
with his big ass bear
I think I'd like to set fire to his greased up hair
I can't hit it, hit it
why wont' I quit it?
screw the ball and give me a bat
and I will hit that
what
I can't seem to win my baby
anything at all
I can't hit it, hit it
Why won't I quit it?
Screw the ball and give me a bat
and I will hit that
that carnie's staring at me
with his big ass bear
I think I'd like to set fire to his greased up hair
I can't hit it, hit it
why wont' I quit it?
screw the ball and give me a bat
and I will hit that
what
Monday, March 20, 2017
2.1782 : 3/20/10 : Stupid Windmills
Stupid windmills just won't come down
a good attitude makes no difference
Whether I believe or not doesn't mean a damn thing
either way out thing down here won't make sense
either way everyone still thinks they're right
everybody's got an answer but me
arguing with everyone who isn't there at all
and why to really bother is a mystery
why to really bother that's a slippery slope
whatever you believe or adhere to
Once upon a time it was so damn simple
all I really wanted was to get near you
Stupid windmills go ahead loom over me
Just another thing that's way beyond my scale
how dumb I used to think I had it all in hand
throw that one on the big heap
for the
fire sale
what
a good attitude makes no difference
Whether I believe or not doesn't mean a damn thing
either way out thing down here won't make sense
either way everyone still thinks they're right
everybody's got an answer but me
arguing with everyone who isn't there at all
and why to really bother is a mystery
why to really bother that's a slippery slope
whatever you believe or adhere to
Once upon a time it was so damn simple
all I really wanted was to get near you
Stupid windmills go ahead loom over me
Just another thing that's way beyond my scale
how dumb I used to think I had it all in hand
throw that one on the big heap
for the
fire sale
what
Sunday, March 19, 2017
2.1781 : 3/19/10 : Turning In
At the moment of humiliation
I see your eyes turning in
Going into a secret place of shame
the end of a road you chose to begin
I'd like five minutes with the guy
that put you in that position
the self-indulgent myth of equity in blows
at least it would be a mission
I can't help anyone so I'm turning in
sorry to whoever across the trackless gulf
I'll pray you aren't consumed by self-hate
and manage to dodge the next wolf
what
I see your eyes turning in
Going into a secret place of shame
the end of a road you chose to begin
I'd like five minutes with the guy
that put you in that position
the self-indulgent myth of equity in blows
at least it would be a mission
I can't help anyone so I'm turning in
sorry to whoever across the trackless gulf
I'll pray you aren't consumed by self-hate
and manage to dodge the next wolf
what
Saturday, March 18, 2017
2.1780 : 3/18/10 : The Wall
No getting over it
it goes to the top
no digging under
it's a hell of a drop
if you punch through the floor
needless to say
there's no door
it is there to stop you
the wall without break
and it stretches 'round the world
and Lord know what's at stake
what
it goes to the top
no digging under
it's a hell of a drop
if you punch through the floor
needless to say
there's no door
it is there to stop you
the wall without break
and it stretches 'round the world
and Lord know what's at stake
what
Friday, March 17, 2017
2.1779 : 3/17/10 : Counterfeits
Comparing fine distinctions
between competing counterfeits
and getting stuck in gloomtown
and hoo the place is the pits
I tell myself the same thing everyday
hard to believe but the alternative's worse
left thinking nothing will ever change
that it is fate or a kind of curse
the rhythm isn't right but I'm stuck with it
at least for a few more lines
I ain't no kind of pretty jungle boy
swinging in on any vines
How can I believe this is the real one
and not some stupid counterfeit
How can I be sure what's happened so far
When you get right down to it
what
between competing counterfeits
and getting stuck in gloomtown
and hoo the place is the pits
I tell myself the same thing everyday
hard to believe but the alternative's worse
left thinking nothing will ever change
that it is fate or a kind of curse
the rhythm isn't right but I'm stuck with it
at least for a few more lines
I ain't no kind of pretty jungle boy
swinging in on any vines
How can I believe this is the real one
and not some stupid counterfeit
How can I be sure what's happened so far
When you get right down to it
what
Thursday, March 16, 2017
2.1778 : 3/16/10 : Not Following the Rules
Letting stupid imaginary
people rile me up
sip sip sipping nervously
on the overflowing cup
not following the rules
not sticking to the chart
and carefully avoiding
every impulse to start
it's year after year now
after week after week
don't know what rollercoaster
I'm waiting to peak
taking on water
gladly suffering fools
playing dumb and slow
and not following the rules
what
people rile me up
sip sip sipping nervously
on the overflowing cup
not following the rules
not sticking to the chart
and carefully avoiding
every impulse to start
it's year after year now
after week after week
don't know what rollercoaster
I'm waiting to peak
taking on water
gladly suffering fools
playing dumb and slow
and not following the rules
what
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
2.1777 : 3/15/10 : A Digest
Let it be what it is
a digest of missed chances
or some example of
some second fiddle dances
I get these big ideas
then the nights get so late
and I wouldn't have come through
anyway
and so soon flows the hate
If you couldn't make me good enough
at least you could have
made me less smart
Shown me less
given me less heart
this digest is depressing me
and now it's there forever
laugh at me using that word
for this forced little
endeavor
what
a digest of missed chances
or some example of
some second fiddle dances
I get these big ideas
then the nights get so late
and I wouldn't have come through
anyway
and so soon flows the hate
If you couldn't make me good enough
at least you could have
made me less smart
Shown me less
given me less heart
this digest is depressing me
and now it's there forever
laugh at me using that word
for this forced little
endeavor
what
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
2.1776 : 3/14/10 : Will I Remember
Heaven forbid I be back here again
It would be a grim shock a mortal sin
One last wilding
Over and out
a night or two
with K and stout
will I remember
will it matter
will I make this
glass ceiling shatter
Can't tell now
story's not begun
get on with it
at rising sun
what
It would be a grim shock a mortal sin
One last wilding
Over and out
a night or two
with K and stout
will I remember
will it matter
will I make this
glass ceiling shatter
Can't tell now
story's not begun
get on with it
at rising sun
what
Monday, March 13, 2017
2.1775 : 3/13/10 : Push to Close
Get in the middle
and push to close it
the break been and gone
the snap that froze it
it ain't much but
it just keeps coming
someone else keeps strumming
as I push to close the case
and close the book
be done but still
not off the hook
what
and push to close it
the break been and gone
the snap that froze it
it ain't much but
it just keeps coming
someone else keeps strumming
as I push to close the case
and close the book
be done but still
not off the hook
what
Sunday, March 12, 2017
2.1774 : 3/12/10 : Run Up
Run up run down
push it all and all around
Far behind another day
close enough to plug and play
not so thrilled but
getting there
see all the excuses
Laid bare
waiting for the time to run up
hope I'm dead asleep come sun-up
what
push it all and all around
Far behind another day
close enough to plug and play
not so thrilled but
getting there
see all the excuses
Laid bare
waiting for the time to run up
hope I'm dead asleep come sun-up
what
2.1773 : 3/11/10 : Runway
Drop all your New York references
you were in Georgia just a month ago
Look at this robot with bad alchemy
Look down the runway watch the 15 minutes blow
Dear Lord preserve me from ending up on the runway
well you've done great at that so far
too old too short too fat
too inflexible to bend for any bar
when it gets harder than pulling someone else's teeth
You have to wonder why keep pushing
no reward and the product is unpleasing
and always this feeling something's crushing
probably making something simple complicated
could wrap it up in a New York minute
I can't be happy with succeeding every day
Pretty typical of me now innit
what
you were in Georgia just a month ago
Look at this robot with bad alchemy
Look down the runway watch the 15 minutes blow
Dear Lord preserve me from ending up on the runway
well you've done great at that so far
too old too short too fat
too inflexible to bend for any bar
when it gets harder than pulling someone else's teeth
You have to wonder why keep pushing
no reward and the product is unpleasing
and always this feeling something's crushing
probably making something simple complicated
could wrap it up in a New York minute
I can't be happy with succeeding every day
Pretty typical of me now innit
what
Friday, March 10, 2017
2.1772 : 3/10/10 : The Paradox
This live in the moment paradox
can't it just be an excuse for every bad thing
I guess you turn up with what you've got
but then does the principle mean anything
no matter how I play it will it be wrong
and nothing will really change
hearing the pathology recite that song
guess it's been too long since I felt the real exchange
I need another method very badly
I need a path I can make sense of
I need it obvious need one upside the chops
struck hard and straight with a dense glove
All kind soft things you think you understand
turn out to be all inside out
And the paradox face sure sure draws you in
but behind it's just a yawning pit of doubt
what
can't it just be an excuse for every bad thing
I guess you turn up with what you've got
but then does the principle mean anything
no matter how I play it will it be wrong
and nothing will really change
hearing the pathology recite that song
guess it's been too long since I felt the real exchange
I need another method very badly
I need a path I can make sense of
I need it obvious need one upside the chops
struck hard and straight with a dense glove
All kind soft things you think you understand
turn out to be all inside out
And the paradox face sure sure draws you in
but behind it's just a yawning pit of doubt
what
Thursday, March 09, 2017
2.1771 : 3/9/10 : Exit Sign
There's far too little of
every thing that comes to mind
and if I can't see the exit sign
I must be blind
but I've been on that
road less traveled, its bunk too
and the terrible temptation
is to give he paradigm one more act two
want want want and try to
convince myself that's the problem
by the time I face up to the decision
the better windows flew by, I missed them
what a wretched specimen
embarrassed but it's done
And I can't even tell if I
learned anything from this one
what
every thing that comes to mind
and if I can't see the exit sign
I must be blind
but I've been on that
road less traveled, its bunk too
and the terrible temptation
is to give he paradigm one more act two
want want want and try to
convince myself that's the problem
by the time I face up to the decision
the better windows flew by, I missed them
what a wretched specimen
embarrassed but it's done
And I can't even tell if I
learned anything from this one
what
Wednesday, March 08, 2017
2.1770 : 3/8/10 : Paradigm
Run in my trick in my book
and still come up short
waited well beyond too long
this time to press abort
I miss the old diary
at least it didn't all have to rhyme
if you want to call on me well
call me the paradigm
what comes next
well it's predictable as hell
at least until tomorrow
guess I'll just pray it turns out well
what a foolish tale
of what redlined my frustration
it's not so complicated
I just need a damn vacation
but all I'll get is
this paradigm revisited
One last time I guess I'll claim
I'm sure the suspense will keep you riveted
what
and still come up short
waited well beyond too long
this time to press abort
I miss the old diary
at least it didn't all have to rhyme
if you want to call on me well
call me the paradigm
what comes next
well it's predictable as hell
at least until tomorrow
guess I'll just pray it turns out well
what a foolish tale
of what redlined my frustration
it's not so complicated
I just need a damn vacation
but all I'll get is
this paradigm revisited
One last time I guess I'll claim
I'm sure the suspense will keep you riveted
what
Tuesday, March 07, 2017
2.1769 : 3/7/10 : Coattails of March
The lightest possible rain
on the coattails of March
as it breezes through the doorway
thinking I best ingest more starch
and stiffen up for the challenge
having been asked to lead
please be careful what you ask for
for I have a fearsome need
to be a benign dictator
hope you laugh to read the words
how I'll spread the word by silence
led by phalanxes of nerds
we'll create it in our own image
and if it looks like a cartoon
consider please the laser beams
reflecting off mirrors on the moon
reflect we can do anything
reflect we have the power
to ascend the heights of history
and make now our own hour
what
on the coattails of March
as it breezes through the doorway
thinking I best ingest more starch
and stiffen up for the challenge
having been asked to lead
please be careful what you ask for
for I have a fearsome need
to be a benign dictator
hope you laugh to read the words
how I'll spread the word by silence
led by phalanxes of nerds
we'll create it in our own image
and if it looks like a cartoon
consider please the laser beams
reflecting off mirrors on the moon
reflect we can do anything
reflect we have the power
to ascend the heights of history
and make now our own hour
what
Monday, March 06, 2017
2.1768 : 3/6/10 : Forgotten Realms
I thought it would be easy
to reverse the flow
from seeming to meaning
from stop to go
I guess I've been so foolish
let so much slide
a thousand flabby verses
from my flabby hide
You know that they spend millions
making shady films
how hard we sweat trying to
bring alive forgotten realms
how I love to daydream
about my perfect bloodless coup
I better tighten up my game
I'm hardly supporting you
what
to reverse the flow
from seeming to meaning
from stop to go
I guess I've been so foolish
let so much slide
a thousand flabby verses
from my flabby hide
You know that they spend millions
making shady films
how hard we sweat trying to
bring alive forgotten realms
how I love to daydream
about my perfect bloodless coup
I better tighten up my game
I'm hardly supporting you
what
Sunday, March 05, 2017
2.1767 : 3/5/10 : Contract
Lord grant me the strength
to tear up the contract
and start over on my own terms
we're burning it all
will smoke or cold kill us first
the original principle: the data that confirms
we are bad at heart
we are bent on destruction
we are helpless but to consume
let me renegotiate
let me pitch a different story
let me see, it begins in a room
what
to tear up the contract
and start over on my own terms
we're burning it all
will smoke or cold kill us first
the original principle: the data that confirms
we are bad at heart
we are bent on destruction
we are helpless but to consume
let me renegotiate
let me pitch a different story
let me see, it begins in a room
what
Saturday, March 04, 2017
2.1766 : 3/4/10 : Green Mountain
Green Mountain High
and if I die today
well so I die but say
I do recall the waking dream
a view that's good enough to scream
gazing down the precipice
Green mountain and it comes to this:
Give me your hand and we'll ascend
One and one makes three no need to end
no need to court disaster
if every day that passes goes faster
I will sigh
recollect our Green Mountain high
write it over a thousand times
I've got the days I've got the rhymes
we will drive we three
the green mountain road with glee
all glorious bottom to top
no reason to expect we'll stop
what
and if I die today
well so I die but say
I do recall the waking dream
a view that's good enough to scream
gazing down the precipice
Green mountain and it comes to this:
Give me your hand and we'll ascend
One and one makes three no need to end
no need to court disaster
if every day that passes goes faster
I will sigh
recollect our Green Mountain high
write it over a thousand times
I've got the days I've got the rhymes
we will drive we three
the green mountain road with glee
all glorious bottom to top
no reason to expect we'll stop
what
Friday, March 03, 2017
2.1765 : 3/3/10 : Fill
Fill the tank just getting there
everyone will stop and stare
watching some insane parade
everybody drink the kool aid
they are no different than me
living out this parody
filling up the hungry tube
just use plenty plenty of lube
Despite it all I'll carry on
deliver you a daily song
yeah, you've heard the thing before
I live with it and still make more
do I crave the limelight stage
to somehow turn to a simpler age
no right now is fine by me
fill today defying entropy
what
everyone will stop and stare
watching some insane parade
everybody drink the kool aid
they are no different than me
living out this parody
filling up the hungry tube
just use plenty plenty of lube
Despite it all I'll carry on
deliver you a daily song
yeah, you've heard the thing before
I live with it and still make more
do I crave the limelight stage
to somehow turn to a simpler age
no right now is fine by me
fill today defying entropy
what
Thursday, March 02, 2017
2.1764 : 3/2/10 : Cynicism is Cowardly
Cynicism is cowardly
So I guess I am a coward
hiding out from hope
thwarting going forward
still I really have a question
where the optimists have gotten us
clear we've crossed a thousand lines
clear God has forgotten us
I know your criticisms
know just what you'll say
slot it with the others
fit into the sad array
I'll try to beat my cynic rap
if that's really your strategy
and though I suspect I'll end up
getting burned in effigy
what
So I guess I am a coward
hiding out from hope
thwarting going forward
still I really have a question
where the optimists have gotten us
clear we've crossed a thousand lines
clear God has forgotten us
I know your criticisms
know just what you'll say
slot it with the others
fit into the sad array
I'll try to beat my cynic rap
if that's really your strategy
and though I suspect I'll end up
getting burned in effigy
what
Wednesday, March 01, 2017
2.1763 : 3/1/10 : Good Advice
Good advice but
it's not really what I'm up for
Why do you think I knocked
over the overflowing cup for
No it's not so easy
not simple at all
blame it on genetics
blame it on the fall
You maybe think some things up
but it's far duller than that
just a blank-eyed staring revelry
floating in the support vat
what
it's not really what I'm up for
Why do you think I knocked
over the overflowing cup for
No it's not so easy
not simple at all
blame it on genetics
blame it on the fall
You maybe think some things up
but it's far duller than that
just a blank-eyed staring revelry
floating in the support vat
what
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