Wednesday, October 18, 2017

2.1994 : 10/18/2010 : Vanishing

The point's been vanishing
all along while I was banishing
what I thought were ghosts of the past
while I thought the spell would last
woke up recently enraged
at the dumb business
that had me engaged
I put a stop to that
but now I cannot find my main hat
now I cannot find my role
and all the days have taken their toll
and my optimism's fit to vanish
like my calculus and Spanish
all I lost to lack of use
all I've lost, and no excuse
I used to blame it all on fate
now just pray that the vanishing abate


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

2.1993 : 10/17/2010 : Thorn

Just what is this thorn
this irritant?
that makes me obtuse
and belligerent
that makes me drink
the poison
that turns this
wretched noise on
and so many times
I've said enough
always knowing
I can call that bluff
and slam my stupid hand
down on the thorn
keep trying but the doubt's
already born


Monday, October 16, 2017

2.1992 : 10/16/2010 : Sea Change

The sea change comes
just like the cycle hums
It rises like an ocean
and crashes just like a notion


2.1991 : 10/15/2010 : Oblivious

And I'm oblivious now
detached from time
I hate the thought of dragging it out
so I shouldn't do the crime
but these days keep coming
and the fever is strong
it will go one way or the other
and it won't be long


Saturday, October 14, 2017

2.1990 : 10/14/2010 : Flow

Whatever flow is it isn't this
this is just simulation
the bottom line regurgitates a common theme
the lessonless, manifest reiteration
I do not have what I claimed to have
detachment, objectivity, whatever
I don't know what I have or don't have
I don't think that I'm even clever
at this point just to stop grabbing buckets of dismay
stop trying to ascend that pile
It's pretty gloomy now but I can only hope
things will lighten up a bit after a while


Friday, October 13, 2017

2.1989 : 10/13/2010 : Certain

To be certain
just can't be certain
So pull the curtain
and get on with it
Words lost to chaos
Well probably no great loss
it irks but who knows
it could be a hit
but this hit calls
and maybe that's all
remember to forget


Thursday, October 12, 2017

2.1988 : 10/12/2010 : Blanked

Blanked out on whatever
I thought I had on my mind
Leaving an empty status
that left me in a bind
I've got no continuity
I've got no future plan
I just keep dreaming of seeing
the flash of gold in my pan


Wednesday, October 11, 2017

2.1987 : 10/11/2010 : Pending

When you can't tell if you don't know
or you're just pretending
Guess that could be real uncertainty
decision pending
When you're pretty sure
that either fork leads to the pits
might as well put it off
no use in throwing fits
don't feel right and I don't feel right
when I did I can't recall
but it must have been so lovely
must have had a ball
pending some enlightenment
some transcending flash
I guess I'll keep my counsel
try not to be rash


Tuesday, October 10, 2017

2.1986 : 10/10/2010 : Unremarkable

So is that it?
Is that everything?
the fear of the
Go to be early
stay healthy and wise
avoid the fantastic
and the impractical
I hate the dumb romantics
who praise their follies
but I may be
just as bad
Sometimes I feel
just sick of everything
and no matter how I play it
I'll feel like I've been had


Monday, October 09, 2017

2.1985 : 10/9/2010 : Say Your Prayers

Say your prayers
Say your prayers
at the last possible minute
and as quickly as you can
put it off
until your mind is numb and humming
with a thousand contradictions
right back where the thing began
why do it anymore
I believe but I don't believe
that what I do matters
that i has any effect
I believe in You not me
and that what will be will be
and that seems to render everything
pointless when you stop to reflect


Sunday, October 08, 2017

2.1984 : 10/8/2010 : Better Story

What if the better story
is disappointing
and less interesting
what then?
I only ever asked for
simple instructions
I never asked to
wield the pen
What if almost
nobody has
much of a story
has much significance
what if it's all
just a stage but
we are not players
but merely and audience


Saturday, October 07, 2017

2.1983 : 10/7/2010 : Recovery

After the affliction
the recovery
past the worst depths of addiction
hopefully some discovery
reminder of better days
oh how we are poorly dealt
in so many way
another dense brick of evidence
for the disbelievers
why'd you make such flawed vessels
such faulty receivers
no answer there
yet you helped me at my darkest hour
the paradox of recovery
the discovery of a hidden flower


Friday, October 06, 2017

2.1982 : 10/6/2010 : Almost

Complete failure on
almost every level
so many chances to
run hot or run cold
I'm no ascetic
and there's no chance to revel
and I wasted another day
dreaming about gold
almost everyone I know
has gotten too busy
to worry about my problems
well I shouldn't complain
cause they all seem small
but all in all I get quite dizzy
when I stack them all up
and try to explain
I almost thought I had
an inkling of the answer once more
I didn't even bother to
write it down this time
I knew what I'd be chewing on
knew what was in store
knew it would all but evaporate
at the first bell's chime


Thursday, October 05, 2017

2.1981 : 10/5/2010 : Sawing

That violin that I hear sawing
is just a bow fixed to
a dumb spinning wheel
a high sweet voice
heard in a dream
is a stylus scraping down
a disk of steel
good heavens did we
slip back a decade or two
there's no redeeming
this wretched start
but it's just another dram
in this damn hell brew


Wednesday, October 04, 2017

2.1980 : 10/4/2010 : Möbius

I looped a short white ribbon
with a half twist
and on that möbius band
I ground a fine grist
and when the subject
was the thinnest dust
Still I was faced with
just what I must
going backwards
just the same ahead
at some point no matter
where I was it came to a head
no way forward
but to break the band
and it will be a long season
till I really understand


Tuesday, October 03, 2017

2.1979 : 10/3/2010 : Epic

I think I hoped it would be epic
think I thought it would be epic
but I sort of planned for boring
fuck what all was I ignoring
and jesus what a topic
being dull dim and myopic
worst part not much different now
waiting still for the ka-pow


Monday, October 02, 2017

2.1978 : 10/2/2010 : Stupid Plan

I've got a stupid plan
I've got a stupid little plan
and I'm sure that it won't work
but it'll cover me for tonight
and I'm a stupid man
yeah I'm a stupid little man
and I'm not making progress
but I don't I still deserve to feel all right
first off I've done it all before
secondly it doesn't make any sense
so I'm expecting things to go very differently
this time around
worst of all I still buy into all of it
oh how I'll cringe a decade hence
coming back upon these strange predictions
Oh how it will all look from higher ground


Sunday, October 01, 2017

2.1977 : 10/1/2010 : Perspective

Is there a perspective on this
where I do not look the fool
probably not I'm pretty sure
I know these tired angles
And was the time spent looking
for just the wrong tool
trying to true the square with triangles
At some point I will look back
and see it as a hideous start
to another long session of deception
I would like to look back
see the time when I got smart
and this little side step as an exception


Saturday, September 30, 2017

2.1976 : 9/30/2010 : Previews

If you can't show me the
main attractions
could I at least get
some previews
something to sharpen
some intimation
of good news
I've been suffering
through these repeats
feeling the story is done
just want a hint of
anything coming
some sign of
coming fun
I know I've got my
attitude turned upside down
don't know how to
right it
I know this feeling
will be back
wish I knew
how to fight it


Friday, September 29, 2017

2.1975 : 9/29/2010 : Perfect and Blue

 Could I make it tonight
and even if I make it tonight
it doesn't matter to tomorrow
nothing ever matters
when it's tomorrow
could I figure it out
and make the difference up to you
or will I be
perfect and blue
perfect and blue


Thursday, September 28, 2017

2.1974 : 9/28/2010 : If Tonight's the Night

I try so hard to imagine
the music swelling that way for me
I've been spoiled by the movies
I've been spoiled by the teevee
God did I really imagine
I would end up one of those
people people know by name
that life that dream those clothes
I don't really think I did
no idea who I was trying to kid
sad to say I think it was just
something to hold on to
wonder if you're telling stories about me
wonder if you're in the clink or floating free
wonder if anyone will
tell me if you die
wonder if tonight's the night
and if I'm that guy
and however hard I try to imagine
the silence presses down like a rock
and I truly don't know where I'm going next
but at this point this is all just talk


Wednesday, September 27, 2017

2.1973 : 9/27/2010 : Joint

Too much the same
up to this point
doubtful about how well
I can drag it round the joint
but I got to I just got to
come high water, come the fire
even if I don't know
at all what to aspire


Tuesday, September 26, 2017

2.1972 : 9/26/2010 : Need Anything

I talked to you a long time
now I can't recall hardly anything I said
same old same old probably
that rattles always around my head
If I could give you something
if you could need anything
I'd trade you for a little hint
you could have a little bird bring


Monday, September 25, 2017

2.1971 : 9/25/2010 : Memories

Maybe all you can get or give
are memories
wiped clean in a generation or two
and the lingering detritus
just part of the same stew
not natural not human
not friends or enemies
if I could leave a last message
and I only had a line or two
sorry for the old cliché
maybe if I had another day
but I could only say
oh how I really really love you
If I could influence your memories
I'd give a minute of beauty
try to balance freedom and duty
and how to live as if you'll
live forever
and maybe go today
and hope you would remember


Sunday, September 24, 2017

2.1970 : 9/24/2010 : So Much Work

Got to quit complaining
that it's all so much work
like so much what else then
life's little file clerk
trying to get it all in boxes
trying to stick the labels on
before the quake comes to unravel
and the order sought is gone
as the temperature dips down
and I choose to set the work aside
and not think of it for a while
and let the current order ride


2.1969 : 9/23/2010 : That Didn't Work

Well that didn't work - no note of that
the transition protocol, the fancy new hat
the itty bitty songs at the frustrated last minute
looks like I'm just gonna have to swallow the loss, innit
looks like I have to get back on the long-form kick
and the little by little and trying not to be a dick
praying for patience, praying for peace
praying for the little revelations that bring release
put everything together and try another angle
let the impossible questions dangle
pick four or five solid virtues to pursue
and try so very hard to be good to you
and try so very hard to rise above the slippery slope
try to savor the feeling of not being a dope
believe in what's believable and gloss the rest
let what can't be understood to time's only test
well that didn't work but here I'm still kicking
throwing noodles at the wall to observe what's sticking.


Friday, September 22, 2017

2.1968 : 9/22/2010 : Magic Numbers

Magic numbers and
significant dates
five minute reprieves
then eight minute hates
I try to lay it all out
in a tidy row
but what it all could mean
I just don't know


Thursday, September 21, 2017

2.1967 : 9/21/2010 : Every Manner

Every manner and
this one too
waiting to be rid of
the scrutiny of you
fate seems against me
I sullen wait
for scheming chance to open the gate


Wednesday, September 20, 2017

2.1966 : 9/20/2010 : Science & Religion

I'd like to study
science and religion
but it's hella bigger than me
and I'm probably
dancing on shaky ground
to believe this dream could set me free
I know a few good people
I've got a jones
and that can be a mission
I guess that all I can do
is send a message
hope it's a transmission


Tuesday, September 19, 2017

2.1965 : 9/19/2010 : Nothing Cute

Nothing cute today
no adroit words to say
like it is what it is
no response I fail the quiz
nothing to say about what's coming
or the way that I've been summing
on the dark side of my questions
or how open I am to suggestions
I know tonight I disappoint
no excuse the time is out of joint
no excuse I've just been bad
not enough that I've been sad
I will try tomorrow true
but since it's what I always do
it's hard to guess if it will matter
Still I'll get up on the ladder
try to make it up a little higher
try not to be such a big old sigher
try to cheer up act my age
try to write a better page


Monday, September 18, 2017

2.1964 : 9/18/10 : Thunder

A little laugh
and lord I sure need it
however distant the thunder
I still have to heed it
still optimistic
deep down I must be crazy
guess I'll muddle it through somehow
the details are a little hazy


Sunday, September 17, 2017

2.1963 : 9/17/10 : Responsible

Please take away the fear
of the very possible
that nonetheless is not happening
for all I cannot be responsible
too many paces up and down
far too much for me to count
but not enough I do not know
it adds to a fearsome amount
the bigger picture is too vast
take away the urge to see it
the role of savior is not mine
take away the urge to be it
so little for me to be responsible
make me satisfied with that
and give me peace for all the rest
and enough strength to wear my own hat


Saturday, September 16, 2017

2.1962 : 9/16/10 : Cusp

Could this be the cusp at hour thirty two
nothing I want to believe is true
show me horror I'll show you fact
show me stupid I'll show you me caught in the act
There is no cusp there is no mountaintop
a meaningless sting then a sickening drop
be that as it may I might as well
overcome and then refuse to tell
erase ten years an offhand shrug
step lightly from the ditch I dug
won't mean a thing won't save a soul
it's so damn easy without any goal
It's so damn easy without highs or lows
a man without regard for what weight he tows
or if the hill goes up or down
or if there's any chance he'll ever leave this town


Friday, September 15, 2017

2.1961 : 9/15/10 : Protocol

You'll remember that voice
for a good long time
And the imaginary box
it trapped you in like a mime
and the way that it struck you
motionless like a doll
when you dared to invoke the protocol
Oh how everything seems
so much the same
except that you feel funny
when you say your own name
and the way you get an itch to stare at the wall
and relive the separate place of the protocol
transitions are crazy
nobody likes change
and if you want to turn right back
well that can be arranged
but if you're determined to go on
that's just what you'll do
and you must just trust in the protocol to see you through


Thursday, September 14, 2017

2.1960 : 9/14/10 : Scarcely

Scarcely succeeded
still I guess that's a day
no doubt choke tomorrow
but it's not then now so okay

I can't get wound up about
scarcely scratching by
so maybe in a year or so I run
and in a thousand I may fly


Wednesday, September 13, 2017

2.1959 : 9/13/10 : An End, and a Beginning

And end, and a beginning
I suspect there will be no end to sinning
no end to slipping, no end to failing
And possibly no end to this
bilge I'm bailing
It's okay to end a day on a cliché
I demure I'm sure sometimes it happens that way
It won't change a thing
but of course that's given
Sometimes I won't feel any hope
Sometimes I won't feel forgiven
taken all together it's a hot mess of words
the massive recreation of the war of the nerds
turned out I wasn't Hamlet
not even Polonius
Damn sure I'm not Miles
Bird or Thelonious
But I can still end things
begin others
stand up and cheer if
you're with me brothers
stand up and fake it like I am winning
until I make it to some
strange beginning


Tuesday, September 12, 2017

2.1958 : 9/12/10 : Signal Decay

Reflection on reflection
translation on translation
there's almost no more signal left
on the signal decay location
Good heavens, ah
Oh my lands
I'm fairly boxed in tight
by all these ampersands
all these asterisks
and treble clefs
I though that I could weigh a man
by the weight of concepts he hefts
but I was proved wrong
by the end of the day
the sad truth demonstrated
in the signal decay


Monday, September 11, 2017

2.1957 : 9/11/10 : Book

I just want to finish my book
stay up too late
and blow off everything tomorrow
but I need to be done
with that particular gun
and its particular brand of sorrow
I've got all the information
I need right now
Don't need any more reading
I can't even venture a guess
about tomorrow tonight
and anyway tonight's so fleeting


Sunday, September 10, 2017

2.1956 : 9/10/10 : Everything Wrong

I'm going to work diligently
to get everything wrong
wrong kind and wrong number
wrong time to write a song
hide knowing it'll get caught out
wrong choice of final rites
I'm just hoping to find a way
to get rid of the parasites
I worked so hard at being right
forgot the question
I don't know how to start the next verse
but I'm open to suggestion
I'm going to try so patiently
to stack it up again
the days behind the fluid now
I felt I had sometimes had when
I believed in a few little dreams
believed in things working
I believed maybe in a happy ending
might be in some odd corner working
I'll worry about tomorrow now
I'll worry about the gong
a-sounding out strange endings
I'm confident that's wrong


Saturday, September 09, 2017

2.1955 : 9/09/10 : Sell

Sell, sell, sell
get rid of all the cruft
we're all being consumed
by such an excess of stuff
low reserves
shipping like a cloud
insubstantial you can't
afford to pass up
an offer so loud
look at that
think of what you'd pay
if you had bought it new
you can't afford to pass it up today
sell sell sell
I will feel so much lighter
jettisoning all the stuff
I'll succeed
'cause I'm a fighter


Friday, September 08, 2017

2.1954 : 9/08/10 : Fast & Empty

It all seems so fast
and so empty
and so many thousand things
that seem to pre-empt me
is this the story that was meant
is anything really meant
and if not why the hell
did all these feelings get sent
Fast they say because
it all started with a bang
empty because there was
hardly ever anything
that's origin myth for you
shit cool story bro
doesn't really give me personally
much to go on though
I stand try to be slow
I sit and try to be full
knowing I'm getting dragged along with all of it
a speck stuck to a speck by gravity's pull


Thursday, September 07, 2017

2.1953 : 9/07/10 : Urgency

This illusion of urgency
that comes with being human
and all the lists and circumstances
we be exhuming
it's a tale I guess
but it seems pretty stupid
pouring one remedy down
after another
I swear to God
we'll hit the right one brother
and find at last
our perfect cupid
draw back the bow let arrow fly
we won't get provoked to ask why
we'll see that bastard
hit its target
and when we're rich and fat
content with our lot
we won't question a single
minute that we've got
fuck you jack
We know we are set


Wednesday, September 06, 2017

2.1952 : 9/6/10 : Now

I can hear the alarm saying
it ought to be now
and after all these years
I still don't seem to know how
and I can't stop trying
seems it's in my bones
So I carry now around
like a cart full of stones
talking won't do it
nor writing either
maybe grit and gumption
got no stocks of neither
but I better not wait
for another shot across the bow
the sole redeeming feature
is there's nothing but now


Tuesday, September 05, 2017

2.1951 : 9/5/10 : Labor

You said you wanted a marker
I'll call this a labor of love
and admit I hate it sometimes
but admit it fits me like a glove
probably not my goldmine
and my treasure resides elsewhere
I got to give up all these fools gold nights
and find some other way to care
how will I complete my labor
not without pain and grief
and the fear that steals in stealthy
like a tricky scary thief
not without mistakes and crossings out
not without near misses
but I might just make it through
with my strand of three and a hundred kisses


Monday, September 04, 2017

2.1950 : 9/4/10 : Not Over

The night's not over
and I haven't beat it yet
maybe you want an answer
it's not what you're going to get
I'm not feeling myself
or else I am far too much
I'd like to wrap it gracefully
sadly it seems I lost my touch


Sunday, September 03, 2017

2.1949 : 9/3/10 : Just Dumb

See the thing for what it is
a failure to be overcome
another sign you're not there yet
another sign that you're just dumb
don't expect much from tomorrow
don't expect a thing to change
Why would it nothing's different
another chance you just estrange
think about the ones that have left
that is not the boat you're in
expect another good long inning
add another coat of sin
You might get a little smarter
with your nose hard at the wheel
with a lot of grit and focus
dumb might just lose it's appeal


2.1948 : 9/2/10 : Repetition

Nothing new to say
I guess it's down to repetition
done believing in the call
done waiting for the mission
easy to see what's to do
and nothing but to do it
sure can't see an end to it
So might as well get to it
these feelings these decisions
and the whole thing will repeat
one day maybe a different way
and wouldn't that be neat
imagined as a wall of shelves
the same box lined up stretching
down the hall and round the corner
at the thought of it I'm retching


Friday, September 01, 2017

2.1947 : 9/1/10 : Tedious

So tedious
I can barely keep my bile down
struggle to be original
keep the lid on the style down
the only weapon
that I have when it rolls
over me
is cut it off at the knees
and pretend
it is a parody


Thursday, August 31, 2017

2.1946 : 8/31/10 : Fastball

After a while
every year
shaves a few miles
per hour off the old
and mile by mile
it would appear
from the turnstiles
that what's left's a heart of gold
and that's all
smile for the reporter
and act like
you are happy
with the past
its glories
turn off that recorder
put down the mic
got no snappy
words to cast
just stories


Wednesday, August 30, 2017

2.1945 : 8/30/10 : Stop Pushing

Stop pushing, stop pushing
do you think that this is helping
or do you just get nervous
at the sound of anguished yelping
there's enough on my thin shoulders
though I ordered up a light yoke
but perhaps that isn't seemly
I am after all of privileged folk
Stop pushing! Stop pushing!
get your hands off me
you aren't anyone to
try to step and scoff me
Stop pushing! stop pushing...
a city song for certain
but you'll find a country boy up here
if you look behind the curtain


Tuesday, August 29, 2017

2.1944 : 8/29/10 : Sunday's Child

Sunday's child is tired
of all the crying behind the door
Sunday's child is feeling
like he's been down this road before
But Monday's child could tell him
there's no new thing 'neath the sun
And everything that's happened to him
happened to someone before
turn again to Sunday's child
Maybe he's got it this time
the eternal truth that never fades
and wrapped up in sweet rhyme
my revelation sir is that
the truth is not a monolith
and so declines to through behind
the epoch's leading myth


Monday, August 28, 2017

2.1943 : 8/28/10 : Forgive the Moon

Forgive the moon for not
shining bright enough
Forgive the universe
for not being made of softer stuff
Forgive you Lord for not
telling me just what to do
and forgive me especially
for forgetting you
I wrote this here
I am the author and the scribe
bowing over in secret
imagining your every jibe
I'll claim persistence
for today anyway my plume
something stored away
another decade may exhume
so forgive the moon
For being so far and so cold
forgive these tired bones
that carry me from growing old
forgive entropy
for being more persistent than me
another decade
begging for a perfect symphony


Sunday, August 27, 2017

2.1942 : 8/27/10 : To Love You Always

It did not take a diamond ring
a promise, a hilltop, or anything
for me to know that I was
to love you always
The moment you were in my arms
as if queen fate had cast her charms
about us and to
follow us through all days
this is not a book a poem
a little players' scene
a shadow play revealed
by a lantern behind a screen
this is real life and nonetheless
each day one thing I need not guess
I will for you and you for me
a love supreme, surprising, free
a knowing that I am to love you always


Saturday, August 26, 2017

2.1941 : 8/26/10 : The Kiss Off

If I never see you all again
it'll be too soon
this is the kiss off
let me show you the tune
you're just a pack of dumb trouble
and your welcome's stale
time to throw you out
like yesterday's mail
I used to stay up real late
thinking real heavy thoughts
sure wish I could have that time back
pin that ah hah with a thumbtack
playing sad sad music
and smoking lots
thought those cigarettes looked too cool
now I look straight back at a stone fool
once I surfed the channels
now I surf the net
you can waste your time so many ways
look back you wasted a thousand days
and when I kick it in the head
I won't miss nothing I bet
you'd get just as much from a blank screen
think I've known that since I was sixteen
If I never see you all again
it'll be too soon
this is the kiss off
let me show you the tune
You're just a pack of dumb trouble
and your welcome's stale
time to throw you out
like yesterday's mail


Friday, August 25, 2017

2.1940 : 8/25/10 : Safety

Just for safety
I'm going to go over the world
with a fine tooth comb
make sure I didn't miss
a whisper of your call
maybe a faint sad refrain on an old trombone
been pretty good at the safe and sorry
I guess I need a strategy
called not doing crazy stupid things again
this time it will turn out
differently for me


Thursday, August 24, 2017

2.1939 : 8/24/10 : That Day

That day isn't going to come
is it you big none
This day is it
over and again
opportunities grown dim
If this is it
I'm not cool with that
I've got no tricks
under my hat
put it away
for another day
nothing left to say
and my beast barely at bay


Wednesday, August 23, 2017

2.1938 : 8/23/10 : Great and Small

Great and small
well, maybe not the smallest
walking tall
but you'll never be the tallest
so if I go
just to check the sell-out line
don't make a fuss anyway
nobody's buying what's mine
Who am I fooling
well surely not yours truly
maybe I'm just pining
for a little fooly cooly
but though I feel like I've been getting
crowded right up to the wall
I'll still stand and say my piece
for the great and the small


Tuesday, August 22, 2017

2.1937 : 8/22/10 : Guests

Little guests I do not like you
so you have got to go
some said to take a natural route
but I said no no no
better living through chemistry
I'll give you a taste of that
a nasty dose of chemistry
little guests you're up to bat
I guess it's been that kind of year
one damn thing after another
I'm hoping for a better one
no guests, nor any other
crazy circumstances or deviltry
come one please a little peace
normal boring sounds real great
and smash the little guests' lease


Monday, August 21, 2017

2.1936 : 8/21/10 : Thirsty

So thirsty
so very late
certain that the problem
will not dissipate
but in a day or three
might get a little relief
pray till then the master
does not steal in like a thief


Sunday, August 20, 2017

2.1935 : 8/20/10 : the Hero

The hero awakes before the alarm
so gung ho for the the working
the hero jumps right out of bed
not a shadow of doubt is lurking
so efficient, so damn focused
it's like he's living every day twice
so informed, so very certain
he doesn't need a speck of advice
used to imagine I would be that
used to be sure I was one
all the little things that make a little life
I can't even get that done
The hero stays up all night
because his light burns bright not dim
I guess I'm still attached to going my own way
and really I am glad I'm not him


Saturday, August 19, 2017

2.1934 : 8/19/10 : Dismay

Why waste your time on dismay?
But the questions persist
and the questions insist
and it's been a long stretch
I haven't felt any closer day by day
The dismay tells me
I'm doing it wrong
and though I trace it in song
there is some strong way
that I simply am not free
the anger that flashes
the depression that sinks
is a man what he thinks
or just the transient spiral
as he stirs up the ashes
I listen to the song my gut sings
troubled and roiling
avoiding or toiling
and nothing but tomorrow
the joy, the dismay
that it brings


Friday, August 18, 2017

2.1933 : 8/18/10 : Exhausted

I fear I have exhausted
this particular well
I know it's not exactly true
today it's the tale I've got to tell
something's got to change
there's got to be a better way
and this is not leading to that
and I'm exhausted, anyway


Thursday, August 17, 2017

2.1932 : 8/17/10 : Ants

Like ants that work all through the night
labor to consume a poison bite
but I can no more burn that oil
another hour I cease my toil
A metaphor to make your skin crawl
become an ant to have it all
but nothing in that state possess
except to give the all-one its yes
fear we are not built for it
running on greed and guilt and shit
like that the dimwit metaphysics
run like wired up paralytics
just a daydream that I had
a different way though it seems sad
we can't reclaim our roles as giants
guess we'll leave it all to the ants


Wednesday, August 16, 2017

2.1931 : 8/16/10 : The Continuity

Is there anything left driving this
besides the continuity
am I still letting dumbass
optimistic daydreams screw with me
I don't see myself
debuting this one on the stage
I don't see much I'm
optimistic about in this new age
Up from the oh's and on
into the tweens and teens
I fear a nasty adolescence
is imprinted in this century's genes
maybe the symbol that I
cling to like a holy grail
if I prop up my sad continuity
maybe the system will not fail


Tuesday, August 15, 2017

2.1930 : 8/15/10 : Butterfly Wing

If I could travel in time
it's tempting in a way
What I could find to fix
but that's the old cliché
In almost any day
the butterfly wing
If I can't keep it all
I guess I wouldn't change anything


Monday, August 14, 2017

2.1929 : 8/14/10 : This is Why

This is why persist:
because to persist is human
feel it in you blood and humors
bile and albumen
there is an ending
and it brooks no dispute
what is there in the face of it
except to be resolute
this is why we ask
because the questions haunt us
so we must be restless, eager
in the face of fears that daunt us
if you are reading, writing
that end hasn't happened yet
so you must persist in this
because there is no other outlet
another day
another try at starting
persistent but with no illusions
this is wisdom I'm imparting


Sunday, August 13, 2017

2.1928 : 8/13/10 : Thirteen

Do I believe n the song of the day?
And here it took me thirteen years to say
Yes I believe but I
don't know what it means
is it a choice I made or
something buried in my genes
God hit it over the head
with a shovel
drove it to the middle of a field
in the middle of the night
and buried it desperately
feverishly in the glare
of the headlights
and who died and made me the cops
the detective supposed to
follow the elusive trail
track it down
air it out
and dress it up like a holy grail
Who am I to
believe in anything
a nobody but still
butter fed and soft
but I have to believe in myself
nothing else is going to
keep this strange balloon aloft


Saturday, August 12, 2017

2.1927 : 8/12/10 : Dikes

Dikes are failing
right and left
and I don't know what's next
lately I don't
have the energy
to even get perplexed
And I don't have
the wherewithal
to try and plug a hole
I'm just trying to
locate the smoke
to track down my burning coal


Friday, August 11, 2017

2.1926 : 8/11/10 : Stone

If I can't let my grip up
on the obdurate stone
I've got a real bad feeling I am
going to hit that wall alone
I haven't got a ritual no more
I'm in free fall
and though it's self-fulfilling
I keep thinking of that wall
seems a whole big lot of people
see it going bad to worse
seems we're all feeling that feeling
getting passed by by the hearse
and the duty that is calling
feels like running to stand still
as I watch my restless scramble
trying to gather up my will


Thursday, August 10, 2017

2.1925 : 8/10/10 : Painkillers

Waiting for the painkillers
to kick in
waiting for the smooth ride
to begin
Good to take the edge off
it's okay
I've been good and it's been
a hard day
try to puzzle out the
riddle of pain
Does it prove god's a
delusion in my brain
is it just part of
a complete life
should I get a little more
at the tip of a knife
Well tonight I needn't
be so bold
if these old painkillers
just take hold
rock me to a deep and
silent sleep
pray to the God of pain
my whole to keep


Wednesday, August 09, 2017

2.1924 : 8/9/10 : Secret Worlds

These secret worlds that swallow me
aren't even cool
plagued by petty phantoms
the kingdom of a fool
lead to petty vices
lead to wasted hours
running from the obvious
stopping to smell the plastic flowers

Looking for a breaking point
looking for a breaking peak
that shatters every secret world
and frees my frozen tongue to speak
the answer could be anything
but nothing seems to stick
could it be that after ten long years
I'm still not sick of being sick


Tuesday, August 08, 2017

2.1923 : 8/8/10 : Mr. Genius

Mr. Genius
what a slick idea
do the same thing as before
act as if this time it'll free ya
put aside the work now
put aside regret
whatever it comes down to
it's the best you're going to get
and always there's another
until someday there is none
it goes against the principle
shall I hope this is not the one


Monday, August 07, 2017

2.1922 : 8/7/10 : Sad Discovery

Sad discovery
sadder still it's no surprise
days have little failures
that meet newly opened eyes
days have bigger failures
Unseen and coming down
appear and seem predictable
and here's the little frown
don't worry about tomorrow
you'd say that is the theme
can I get away with it tonight
and hope for nothing in a dream


Sunday, August 06, 2017

2.1921 : 8/6/10 : Disconnect

Trying to repair
the disconnect
between thought and expression
if you'll allow the paid respect
feeling disconnected
want to plug back in
hope the worries and cares
don't haul another stack in
hard to change gears
especially in these days
all the adversity
smears into one haze
but time will not stop
and free moments are few
think I'll take my chance at rest
and then wait for you


Saturday, August 05, 2017

2.1920 : 8/5/10 : Nice Work (If You Can Get It)

A joker and an artist
got an apartment in the sticks
played games and scribbled comics
I guess it beats throwing bricks
Now they've got a little empire
courtly soirées and a teevee show
making the circuit and doing good works
and still it just seems to grow
nice work if you can get it
nice story wish it were mine
nice work if you can get it
yeah I think it would suit me fine


put on your flaming hat

The inaccurately named "Enough" finds us at the end of Songs of Days volume 2.11, Black n' Red. Forthwith we march on to volume 2.12, Nice Work.


Friday, August 04, 2017

2.1919 : 8/4/10 : Enough

Enough and there will
be no ceremony
I want a million dollars
I want a fucking pony
I want my youth back
I want my health
and mastery and power
and time and wealth
enough there are you
done whining now
you look so stupid there
you stupid pining cow
enough of loving sloth
enough of crazy shouting
put on your flaming hat
let's off for a special outing
please just ignore it all
it's just me acting tough
and trying to get at least one thing right
I guess that has to be enough


Thursday, August 03, 2017

2.1918 : 8/3/10 : As for What I Am

And as for what I am
what shall I say and
what am I to tell
Some days it seems you've
woken from a long and
dreamless magic spell
to look around
bewildered wondering
just how it came to be
yet all the history is
there and you are there
as well and me
yes what of me
I haven't said much
thinking of the likes of great men
wondering if there's any
future like that
at all waiting for my pen


Wednesday, August 02, 2017

2.1917 : 8/2/10 : How Early

How early might the rise be
how late the night
if I made a little chart today
I might start getting it right
Hard not to imagine
every terrible road
and that since nothing can stay still
something is bound to explode
I know there's gotta be a better way
but I don't know what it looks likes
When I feel like I'm on the downhill
when I feel like I'm on the third strike
I saw the looks of sad contempt
well they don't understand
we just can't ever do things halfway
here in the good old promised land


Tuesday, August 01, 2017

2.1916 : 8/1/10 : Knock Out

Knock another sucker challenger
out with one punch
hope it bored you to the core
and now I'm going to eat your lunch
I don't care about nothing
but the counter's click
running up my numbers
I'm that kind of sick
Did you stumble to your feet
for another round?
almost feel bad knocking you
over with the big sound
I'll see you swept right up
with yesterday's trash
while I'm shining up my knuckles
Cause my shit's so cash


Monday, July 31, 2017

2.1915 : 7/31/10 : Cheated

If you think you feel cheated
hey think about me
and if it gets repeated
well I guess it just will be


Sunday, July 30, 2017

2.1914 : 7/30/10 : Or Get the Fuck Out

Answer now
answer now
or get the fuck out
will you deliver
or get the fuck out
You got got your gospel plow
Oh get the fuck out
but can you cross the river
bro get the fuck out
will you show me your reasons
get the fuck out
why it's all such a chore
hey get the fuck out
at the mercy of seasons
that get the fuck out
and swing like a great door
while I get the fuck out


Saturday, July 29, 2017

2.1913 : 7/29/10 : Month

Barely aware as the
moon swells and shrinks
barely believe
a man's not what he thinks
but the thinking just so
has got something to do with it
whether he founders
or follows right through with it
thirty days
thirty one
not very scientific, son
some anniversary
that doesn't mean a thing
gone to weeds
all the ground
I try to hear the surf pound
two thousand miles away
to the month's mistress they sing


Friday, July 28, 2017

2.1912 : 7/28/10 : Backed Up Against

Backed up against
the ever present fence
doubting my capacity
and surely my sagacity
poor lolling vacant mind
pretend the tide is turning
and those days are already behind


Thursday, July 27, 2017

2.1911 : 7/27/10 : Revision

Revision and remission and
the fusion of the vision
that could make the disparate parts
all sing out with the same commission
And where I once craved total peace
I've gone for plainer fare
And if you would see the land Revision
It happens I can take you there
Injunction and induction and
the restless forms of function
and the nights I lost unwinding
in the old absurd reduction
you can't pick it apart
though you might pick any point
the unraveling all ravels up again
articulate, all moving joints


Wednesday, July 26, 2017

2.1910 : 7/26/10 : Mr. Stupid

Mr. Stupid wants to be optimistic
but he's working with real bad material
Mr. Stupid gets worried by the smallest stuff
but the problems are a scale imperial
Mr. Stupid is glad that the missus
decided to keep her maiden name
because she doesn't deserve the title
because she doesn't play that stupid game
Mr. Stupid knows perfectly well
that this stupid night is a stupid dodge
a putting off of something inevitable
having to deal with the stupid messy hodgepodge
Maybe on some day not too distant
he'll get to once again feel like Mr. Smart
he can't quite give up though it's tempting
he has to pretend this is a stupid start


Tuesday, July 25, 2017

2.1909 : 7/25/10 : Prism

Refracted through the prism
I captured what I could
I lived the vital moment
I did what what I thought I should
It hurts to know it's partial
we only capture some
but I do it fully conscious
and am not deaf or dumb


Monday, July 24, 2017

2.1908 : 7/24/10 : Capture

I have to capture
the moment that occurs
and if it is messy
and hard to record
that is just the real
and in this moment
I truly feel
if you have to interpret
it is not so bad
the moment occurred
and I was glad


Sunday, July 23, 2017

2.1907 : 7/23/10 : Unfair

Unfair I say and I refuse
to be ruled over and
run around by arbitrary rules
and cruel imaginings
and stupid phantom thoughts
Move along these are not
the paranoids you sought
I need a better system
but for now I'll just cheat
at a contest no one cares about
where there's nobody else to beat
and I suppose if I'm the only one
who cares about this grind of mine
it's all the more a reason
that I have to walk that line


Saturday, July 22, 2017

2.1906 : 7/22/10 : Stellar

No thank you I refuse to sing that
no matter how true it is
or how much sense it makes
Let me tell you a lie about joy
and adventure around the corner
and a wild bet paying crazy stakes
Let me tell you a lie about change
it took exactly one day and
it stayed that way forever
there were no backslides and
there were no concessions
and it was just as easy as pulling a lever
feeling great and every day getting better
started out stratospheric
now you'd have to call it stellar
Yeah I'll sing that it couldn't hurt
any worse than another session in the cellar


2.1905 : 7/21/10 : Trains

The warm sound of trains
Northeast side
I can dream all I want to
but I'll never take that ride
And I can't say I feel bad
I've got obligations
that firmly preclude
riding the crazy stations
what are dreams worth
are they worth a nickel?
I don't even want to try
to cut that pickle
still something has to change
well something always does
and it pans out in its own way
just like it always does


2.1904 : 7/20/10 : Sufficient

What is sufficient?
I really need to know
So that I can prosper
So that I can grow
I guess things have been moving
but my God it's slow
will I figure out a damn thing
before I go
truly what's sufficient?
I must figure it out
why I'm still around here
what that fact's about
I'm trying to stay positive
trying not to pout
I fear the army's massing
and it's going to be a rout


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

2.1903 : 7/19/10 : Crash Come

If we all gave up
how much faster would the crash come
what if i just gave up
fixed my eyes on the cash and grabbed some.
maybe I'm just afraid
what if I sold out but no one was buying
back to being good but it doesn't matter
Christ what is the point of
Whatever you might think
the crash is not a delusion
though what it means nobody's sure
and its way is made straight by your confusion
if it feels inevitable
why do I have to toil toil in futile resistance
is it the off chance or some  principle?
I've still got no measure of the point
of persistence


Tuesday, July 18, 2017

2.1902 : 7/18/10 : Every Night

Find there's how it goes
the same way every night
there's how you get the
feeling nothing's going right
and if you think you'll find
the answer in a minute's work
in a few random scribbles
wait until you feel that jerk
the strand that snaps you
back into reality
And now you see it: the same old night
and every night you see
a little vision but it's
just not quite enough to deliver
that one swift kick
and so you settle for your sliver


Monday, July 17, 2017

2.1901 : 7/17/10 : Spirit Brother

I wonder if you saw me brother
my little shout hello
I wonder what your weather's like
could be rain or snow
sometimes it's nice not to
choose not to know so much
just that another brother's on the road
fill the world with songs, your special touch
I imagine my presence might offend you
I've been there if I might be so bold
I hope it's just my dumb mind again
hope you're better than me, not so cold
I sing a song for my spirit brother
really we are on the same side
maybe someday we will share a glass
raise a toast to the long strange ride


Sunday, July 16, 2017

2.1900 : 7/16/10 : What if Nothing Happens

What if nothing happens for a reason
what you did before was simply wrong
or you were born unlucky out of season
born to false turns, singing the wrong song
If there's no plan, is that freeing
no more preconceptions, right
no fate to be chasing or fleeing
nothing but me in the long night
I keep looking for the middle
cliché land between my brain and heart
such a dullard's pain, yeah life's a riddle
and I mostly stall before I start
Maybe nothing's really worse or better
Always just been same old ebb and swell
Maybe I could knock off one last fetter
And hey presto all is well


Saturday, July 15, 2017

2.1899 : 7/15/10 : Shame

It seems a shame, to be
stuck in this foolish loop
feeling hard pressed to help it
feeling mired in the soup
the little things are piling
and I it seems unequal
don't think that I can afford
to wait out for the sequel
I don't have a plot to pick up
I'm right down to scratch
I've felt cornered many times
but still this is one rough patch
but it isn't going to help me
to settle down at shame
I guess I have to try to believe
stand at least behind my name


Friday, July 14, 2017

2.1898 : 7/14/10 : It Still Sickens You

It still sickens you to see
each way we've failed
in the land of the free
what the news doesn't say
is almost as bad as what it does
and maybe worse some days
your prognostications were mainly true
You usually got things right
but you sure didn't hint what would happen to you
I guess it's likely you didn't know
there was always a lot of smoke with you
and you'd hinted you might up and go
I sort of hope you're someplace far
reinvented, sharp again
the better aspect, acerbic and bizarre


Thursday, July 13, 2017

2.1897 : 7/13/10 : These Nights

These nights
have got a lot to answer for
but I can't get into it now
Failed on most points
Made it on a couple
not much excuse
for taking a last bow
better than nothing
just doesn't cut it
out there on the floor
I guess I'll be back
pray a little better
but I don't expect much anymore


Wednesday, July 12, 2017

2.1896 : 7/12/10 : All Night

Up all night
only to fail of the morning
look upon the sad
story as a warning
this shaky platform
can go up or down
for the best of everyone
I think I should conceal this frown


Tuesday, July 11, 2017

2.1895 : 7/11/10 : This Is It

How do I feel if this is it?
That is the question I chew in the pit
Is it this that makes me suffer
Full exposure, no kind of buffer
Is this it? the moment eternal
pulsing through an act of the theater internal
It is this that I'm forever returning
to see all that it it it forever churning


Monday, July 10, 2017

2.1894 : 7/10/10 : The Nothingth

What feels like the first
is really the nothingth
because I violated
time or something
far less interesting
than it sounds
and even tough I don't get to count t
consequence abounds
I had a terrible dream
that it was genetic
and the way I tried to
dodge the blame was just pathetic
and all I want to do
as a result today is nothing
If could just lie face down
on the floor it would be the thing


Sunday, July 09, 2017

2.1893 : 7/9/10 : Good Story

Could I still tell
a good story
for myself
nobody else will
I suspect
but how I doubt
that could be
and what I expect
is another and another
and oh God those
same old same old songs
and is it just
lack of acceptance
The misery
the fool prolongs


2.1892 : 7/8/10 : Bad Path

Hear feet slipping on a
bad path, going down
already blew a bunch of things
bad thoughts go to town
maybe halfway through
at best
and feeling nowhere nowhere
I see the escalator down
and I don't want to
go there
has it been this
dark before
and does it matter
I wish someone would
lead me from
this bad path


Friday, July 07, 2017

2.1891 : 7/7/10 : The Screw

The screw turns deeper than expected
revealing what was long suspected
The error is a broken heart
or some more esoteric broken part
the error is bad analogy
the screw was in the way I couldn't see
Which seems now rather fatal to the test
and hard to protest that I did my best
and if i saw that plan again I'd burn it
but when I see that X i have to turn it
I'm not sure what it is breaking into now
but I have to learn to live with
the screw somehow


Thursday, July 06, 2017

2.1890 : 7/6/10 : Drowning

The dream is of drowning
and who am I fooling
deep down in my innards
ambition is pooling
and turning to something
tar black and disgusting
and all that I'm hating
and all I'm distrusting
just put that away
because it's not the night
to cease upon midnight
and fight that good fight
say maybe tomorrow
just like everyone
but then sometimes it is
by the sword, by the gun


Wednesday, July 05, 2017

2.1889 : 7/5/10 : Smokescreen

Deployment of the smokescreen
and similar techniques
Sometimes the moment merely passes
and sometimes it speaks
I'm going to try to get on track
and hope my good luck peaks
and maybe someday far ahead
I'll tell the tale to all my freaks


Tuesday, July 04, 2017

2.1888 : 7/4/10 : Fault

Ten years fly
nothing much changes
oh what a lie
all of reality rearranges
but there's still a fault
and it isn't just appearances
I'm not the sole one drowned in red ink
or banking on too many chances
Everyone believes in the fault
but never really thinks the quake will come
isn't it our way so predictable
so thoughtless and so dumb
out of words out of ideas
out of justifications
for persisting absent evidence
it's anything more than prostrations
before the dumb altar of a dead deity
something more I once thought I had
I guess I knew it was no easy ride
I really didn't think it would get this bad


Monday, July 03, 2017

2.1887 : 7/3/10 : The Long Goodbye

I'm not ready to let go
but there's no time for speaking
And I guess I better leave
before your poor eyes get to leaking
sometimes there's not a word to say
And yet you stare as the moments fly by
oh how you beg for just one more
day to drag out the long goodbye
sorry something's got my tongue
oh baby something's in my eye
and we both look like a mess
Well it sounds like the long goodbye
In the morning when you wake
something dragged you through grit and sand
Imagine I can barely smell
the dying perfume on my hand
think of arguments ten years old
a fight fought so long past
If I'd known then it wouldn't be settled yet
dear me I'd be aghast


Sunday, July 02, 2017

2.1886 : 7/2/10 : Patchwork Revelation

It turns out there are five elephants
and every one is blind
And sister you will not believe
The mess that riddle leaves behind
it turns out we're all chained outside
and all the good shit's in the cave
You can stitch a patchwork revelation up
if you've got years and years to slave
what to call one who never succeeds
and still refuses to stop
is it worth it staying up
waiting for the cosmic shoe to drop
if you've got enough pieces
if you're really desperate
you'll end up with some crazy quilt
lurid and intemperate


Saturday, July 01, 2017

2.1885 : 7/1/10 : Ultra Worm

Ultra worm the great purge
the twisting screw begets an urge
Pray to heaven for good news
'Cause lately I feel like the Devil stole my shoes
Oh great worm towering a mile
will you reset the clock, make me smile?
One more straw could bury me
What the hell Lord please stop scaring me
the small pain supplants the greater
something from long ago left a crater
a hole through the center of the doughnut
I'll be someplace else tomorrow this time no but
While I wait for the medicine to come to term
what can I do but offer thanks to the ultra worm
And get by like I always do
never quite what I imagine but I've still got you

Friday, June 30, 2017

2.1884 : 6/30/10 : Tomorrow

Worry not for tomorrow
is a hard lesson
And few have learned the trick
or so I'm guessing
I get it for a minute
every now and then
next thing I know I'm worrying
about tomorrow again
and I'd like it to be better
and I'd like it to be soon
but life keeps on intruding
till you all think I'm a loon
to be up again and writing
What I found written on the wall
blindly believing in tomorrow
that the sun will make his usual call
tomorrow take care of yourself
just one night you'll be fine
maybe when the next tomorrow is today
it will be the one that I make mine


2.1883 : 6/29/10 : Anxious

Little anxious ditty
too many anxious days
I got a bit of fear on
I got a bit of craze
a little bit of good news
not enough to pull me out
just trying to hold on
and figure what the rest's about


Wednesday, June 28, 2017

2.1882 : 6/28/10 : 4.5 Days

In four and a half days
I hope I'll start a smooth ride
after some probably not smooth moves
take a look at what's inside
maybe could have prevented it
bought a dozen years
hey it's a few thousand songs
listen then if you've got ears
I plan to rock that four point five
I plan to do it by the book
and if you've heard a few of mine
you know I plan to make it cook
So take my hand love once again
and tell me everything's all right
in just a couple thousand words' time
You will thrill how we take flight


Tuesday, June 27, 2017

2.1881 : 6/27/10 : Ideas

Out of ideas
nothing new on the stack
I guess I always find more
I guess they must grow back
how many times can you go
back to the empty well
write a song about how it's empty
eh what the hell
yeah what the hell
story of my life
or at least of tonight
and examples are rife
and the wrap up what a joke
nature of the beast
hope that I get better soon
or no worse at least


Monday, June 26, 2017

2.1880 : 6/26/10 : Unsure

Unsure of the
of the path I've chosen
free of notoriety
but impecunious
dare I say austere
Can't even pay to hire
some kid to call me sir
put it all together
you could say I'm doing fine
but I see so many paths
and the world's only one's mine
but if I am unsure
I am resolute
I feel so very ready
to be fired out of the chute


Sunday, June 25, 2017

2.1879: 6/25/10 : Old Rules

Old rules: day doesn't end
until you sleep on it
Stay up all night: create a
paradox that's a perfect fit
but you can't hack that heat anymore
and the thought of worst cases
freezes you to the core
and really only God
knows just what's in store
and the old rules still make sense
the old rules still apply
and if you're looking for a visionary
I must confess that I'm your guy
So don't say anything contradictory
why not just jump on
this bandwagon is rocking now
About to get its volume pump on
Why not rock the night away
you and me baby don't need no pay
Because the big sound is here to stay
and where would we go anyway?


Saturday, June 24, 2017

2.1878: 6/24/10 : My Big Routine

To you who has been so long suffering
unknown observer
I present my big routine
dancing tigers, elephants and fireworks
dragons and dark arts
all who see will marvel at my smarts
So much practice
I must be perfect by now
observe the wand, the cup and ball
the majesty of the sacred cow
scared of the future
my big routine is all about the past
but that is over soon
and I stand by
to reveal this grand repast


Friday, June 23, 2017

2.1877: 6/23/10 : Mount the Needle to the Hammer

Mount the needle to the hammer
then bring the hammer down
Mount the needle to the hammer
then bring the hammer down
Mount the needle to the hammer
then bring the hammer down
no you never heard anything
hit like this sound
wrist is the fulcrum
I will smash your hokum
Shatter every platter
better get down search for your crumb
diamond on the needle
needle on the hammer
if sick beats
 were outlawed
I'd be in the slammer
Mount the needle to the hammer
then bring the hammer down


Thursday, June 22, 2017

2.1876 : 6/22/10 : Stay Warm

I suppose
this again
no need to tell me
I can see
I'm boring you friend
but I've got my orders
it's got its form
you've got to hustle
just to stay warm
but that's quite enough
no need to overdo
thanks for the report
now back to you


Wednesday, June 21, 2017

2.1875 : 6/21/10 : Imperfect Backup

Blame imperfect backup
for the state the wisdom's in
Caught twelve years in a loop
waiting to feel ready to begin
whoever was supposed to have my back
did not come through
but I'm still here and that is something
just between myself and you
I coulda lost a lot more
coulda got a lot more done
But somehow gets me to this point
decision made and damn your fun
Pray the new system
is a good deal more robust
for now leaves the imperfect backup
and I'll use it if I must


Tuesday, June 20, 2017

2.1874 : 6/20/10 : Vicious Viscous

Vicious viscous
time destroyer
supreme annoyer
cut some slack
in recognition
of my blameless
false position


2.1873 : 6/19/10 : One Eye

One eye clean
one eye mean
excuse me sir I am
enmeshed in the machine
I built it myself
I was my own only
Santa's elf
and this is the mark
that will show
the break: clean
filled with strange delight
I won the
wrongly chosen fight
and I will call
my perseverance
if it might end here
for once I'll try to make
it clear
the best I've got:
the portion
of the Sphere


Sunday, June 18, 2017

2.1872 : 6/18/10 : The Game

The game sucks! it's full of fail
It's petty ruleset is beyond the pale
are you satisfied? Are you entertained?
I tried I squinted till my eyes strained
First rule of the real game
is stay up all night
Second rule of the real game
is get into a fight
last rule of the real game
is lie down and die
Pray to God you don't let
everything in between pass you by
I'm waiting for the real game
I'm patient i know my name
five hundred forty, three thousand twelve
they must satisfy themselves
while my core plays the real game
baby nothing will ever be the same


2.1871 : 6/17/10 : Bent

Time seems all bent out of shape
and disarranged
stuff that went down a few days back
I already feel estranged
hey that guy isn't me
that doesn't reflect my views
in light of the developments
in context of the news
I'm already against that joker
up there in the future
he's forgotten where he came from
the cheap pathetic moocher
If I had it to do again
whoops I guess I do
I'd tell them all to get bent
and wait oh so patiently for you


Friday, June 16, 2017

2.1870 : 6/16/10 : Human

You want to gauge the human condition
you don't have to go out on a search mission
It's all on the line these days
And not much worth the look anyways
Only a human could be so vile
there's a higher state but we're off by a country mile
still fighting wars and messing up the atmosphere
don't buy it? Gee man do you live here
Plain as our stupid shocked faces
There is that who sees all hidden places
Into my dark heart my bleak bottom
Oh the angels are out there, you just have to spot them
And me, only human, will at last expire
And still with no idea who lit that fire


Thursday, June 15, 2017

2.1869 : 6/15/10 : Threshold

I can't even step across that threshold
If I don't want to meet a beast that's so old
That room I've been in so damn many times
From back when quarters were packs
and calls were dimes
And with nowhere on earth else to go
just standing here I guess I know
that I crossed it before I even thought better
and will awake soon at the jerk of the fetter


Wednesday, June 14, 2017

2.1868 : 6/14/10 : Terrible Thing

You know that God could be
a terrible thing
so terribly aware
and you -
you don't know anything
keep smacking into that
window, fly
one thing you can say for God
we all eventually
get to die
I didn't say it
but it bears consideration
we may be nothing but
divine recreation
You can't deny
that it explains
a lot of terrible things
and I'm terrible for saying it
even so hope
eternal springs


Tuesday, June 13, 2017

2.1867 : 6/13/10 : Black Out

At times I day dream of a blackout
that doesn't end
if you don't think it could happen
to this society friend
you must not be paying attention
or perhaps you just prefer
not to heed the ugly options
what's the point of raising a stir
soon the batteries would run out
Soon we couldn't pump our gas
Generators getting scarce
who knows what would come to pass
I think about it when the lights go
well it always turns out right
So I suppose I'm like the rest
think nothing to turn on the light


Monday, June 12, 2017

2.1866 : 6/12/10 : No Markers

You become aware of time
as looped and seamless
no ends of weeks
no hours no days
no vacations
no days off for sickness
no markers, no point in displays
awake or sleeping
lucid or dreaming
conscious or unconscious
independent of all thought
or so I theorize
as my life burns before my eyes
proceeding inexorable
toward an apparent nought


Sunday, June 11, 2017

2.1865 : 6/11/10 : Weakness

The weakness will not
leave the body
the weakness will not
leave the mind
I could tell you just
what I think of you
but I was brought up
not to be unkind
it's time to accept
a much lesser lot
but I'm starting to think
I just don't know how to
And if I accept that
where the hell does it end
what ugly idol do I
have to bow to?


Saturday, June 10, 2017

2.1864 : 6/10/10 : Nadir

Nadir, that's the bottom, yo
bad news, probably not
but I'll pretend it's so
the thing about
the shape I'm in
is it's well beyond
motivation or sin
and however ready I felt to begin
the dice roll how they roll
attrition takes its toll
and the nadir could be lower
than I can bear to contemplate
and I just have to swallow that
because it's almost early it's so late


Friday, June 09, 2017

2.1863 : 6/9/10 : Came Back

I came back just to say
that all day and everyday
I'm down begging on my knees
show me the better way

I don't want to be rich
just to crawl into the black
Don't think I'm fit to save the world
just want to give a little back

You wouldn't think such mild
aspirations would be such a fancy flight
but in an abandoned and forsaken world
I guess they just might


Thursday, June 08, 2017

2.1862 : 6/8/10 : No Rest

No rest
no true rest
I don't believe it's meaningful
don't believe it's a test
but I don't have to
bow to it
though I can't shake free
I don't have to contribute
in that tiny way I'm free


Wednesday, June 07, 2017

2.1861 : 6/7/10 : The Great Leap Forward

The great leap forward
powered by the battery
oh let me daydream for one night
oh let me dabble in self-flattery
If I really believed
If I really had faith
If Grace is truly limitless
as it is written, so sayeth
This could be the Great leap forward
ending many false trails
Starting many great tales
Free of so many false grails


Tuesday, June 06, 2017

2.1860 : 6/6/10 : Backwards

Everything is getting backwards
finding all the frayed dropped threads
a maze of splintering loose ends
because ofs mixed with insteads
try to put a marker on it
hold my hand remembering
been down that line this line the other
backwards I guess must be the thing
habits that are not making me stronger
I know what I have to do but
retracing the steps is hard
harder than staying in the rut
but I just have the day to mind
poised on the hour between one, another
help me father help me mother
help me wife, son, sister, brother


Monday, June 05, 2017

2.1859 : 6/5/10 : Songs

Songs, jams
Krog thank-you-ma'ams
we cooked up a few for sure
rise, fall, paracetamol
there was something in it, pure
there's no need to fret
or hedge any bet
do it right the first time
rise, take control
do a deal for your own soul
I'll sell it to you for a dime
no shtick here. pure noise
and if its clean line annoys:
remember to breathe and shut your eyes
it doesn't wrap like you suspect
it's maybe a little perfect:
a thing forgotten remembered, then: surprise


Sunday, June 04, 2017

2.1858 : 6/4/10 : The Latest Weekend

The latest weekend
the latest song you've got to sing
post structure
post reaction
post-ism, post everything
if you la la la
if you coo coo cuchoo
You know it's out there
it's going to find you
no more ists, istics or izing
the possibilities are paralyzing
but you latest weekend kids
you've gotta move move move
you dance all thought away
nobody to approve
co-opt or package
nothing's for sale
and there's a hole
in the bottom of the pail


Saturday, June 03, 2017

2.1857 : 6/3/10 : Your Are Here

You are here, and nowhere else
can't build experience from nothing but yourself
can't change the past, take a thing back or add
what you missed you missed and will be unsatisfied
I am here, and it's all what now what now
The joke is when I get that I'll be swallowed up in how
but something has to change, and something has to give
It's hard enough to get up, hard enough to live
This is not the change, this is not the shift
this is not the sign of the cloud about to lift
no harbinger of change, no changes in the wind
nothing at all on which to get hopes pinned
just a blurry map
an X marked you are here
And whether I get up or sit
will take its own sweet time I fear


Friday, June 02, 2017

2.1856 : 6/2/10 : Condition

If a name has been given
to the condition
the treatment is known
but is kept from fruition
this can't be dismissed
as a phase of contemplation
it is its own condition
a unique creation
the lists have been made
the search completed
Still day after day
the resolve is defeated
still day after day
the conviction remains
obscured though it is
by the layers of stains
I've got nothing to say
it's all been said before
one more day, one more day
staring at the black door


Thursday, June 01, 2017

2.1855 : 6/1/10 : In the Bone

This poison this cancer this bell that tolls
Some black humor bred in the bone
these back water pest holes
hours I spent sunk in alone
how many times did I pray for release
how long how long how long
never once did the poison's flow cease
another day it seems just as strong
I'd like to promise a turn of the page
Lord knows I've done it before
Can't seem to buy into a new age
guess I better hoist my bones off the floor


Wednesday, May 31, 2017

2.1854 : 5/31/10 : Same Dream

Every day fail to balance on the beam
every night every night the same dream
or maybe only similar
It's all sure as hell familiar
Whatever I say tomorrow it won't mean a thing
No matter how long I push the pendulum will swing
And the same dream or similar harasses me
Every night I have to fight to let sleep happen to me
Every night I fight the same stupid little battle
Every day I sigh and climb back up into the saddle
Will this storm stop for a while now or just get worse
Is there any good damn reason for this curse
do I have the right to piss and moan just a little
you seem to have time
to listen to me rhyme
while you saw that fiddle


Tuesday, May 30, 2017

2.1853 : 5/30/10 : Crazy

We keep doing what we're doing
expecting a different result
someone said that that was crazy
But I say it's not our fault
Because when you run out of ideas
what else are you going to do
it doesn't matter if you know it's crazy
You can't stand to do nothing so you have to
do it all again and just feel crazy
do it until every reason's hazy
the sides the speeches the fighters and teachers
the acts and manifestos oh we're crazy creatures
way too late I think I see a different way
some other organization, no icons no leaders
who do I think I am just another crazy
how many have tried unseen unheeded
You can't change human nature
Which is crazy so we're doomed
concluded so went away and the
same old same old resumed


2.1852 : 5/29/10 : Waste

Here it goes again
and it's going to waste
miss another chance
to declare a place
as the landing strip
or the turning point
or the launch pad
or the cursed joint
So set by the way
tapping out and down
no chance of wrestling the future
to the fucking ground
hang that fucker up
Say you've seen his game
Say it makes no never
say it's all the same


Sunday, May 28, 2017

2.1851 : 5/28/10 : Dark Path

The dark path again
the hard math again
I could say my head was spinning
but really nothing's moving
Unforeseen blank again
Back in the tank again
New fears still beginning
nothing here worth proving
going up then down
shake my cup in town
could you spare half a penny
brother are you getting any
lost the thread it's gone
drag this bed along
that I've left unmade
lie in dirt instead


2.1850 : 5/27/10 : Brief

State your case and make it brief
You'll not be asked again
the judge will render unto you
a reason for how when
You thought you were on the edge
of something like success
bad luck and more bad luck came
another crazy mess
there do you feel better now
with reason in your hand
no better off no real response
but leave the witness stand
the line is stretching out the door
they all want to state
their cases to the authority
we're sure you can relate


Friday, May 26, 2017

2.1849 : 5/26/10 : No Marker

No marker this time
no true count
no way to know or guess
the actual amount
is that a gimmick
some kind of trick
Regardless I'm just hoping
this time it will stick
So many so many
So how to believe
that I might still have
a surprise up my sleeve
one day and another
burn each bridge so carefully
leaving back no line or marker
what remains is only me


Thursday, May 25, 2017

2.1848 : 5/25/10 : Throwaways

Having learned not one thing
from all the other throwaways
I hang the shame I'll wince at
in a couple thousand days


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

2.1847 : 5/24/10 : Power Trip

No defeat
I want a rising beat
and something to get
So many people on their feet
a tongue's slip
is it really just a power trip
Say you want to liberate
or just to have them in your grip
So hard to believe
with so many dead dreams to grieve
like it's going to fall together
when all the flesh starts to heave
hey I just want a little show
nowhere special, a dozen go
no power trip, talk right
over me after all what do I know


Tuesday, May 23, 2017

2.1846 : 5/23/10 : Bow

Tie every loose end
in a neat neat bow
throw the bottle far enough
hope you catch the undertow
I want every ending
to be happy, not sad
every little thing good
Why not? nothing bad
we get tons of realism
in this life
mountains of cold pragmatism
buying strife
I'll take a happy ending
when I'm feeling low
pack all up neatly and
deliver with a bow


Monday, May 22, 2017

2.1845 : 5/22/10 : Evidence

Cover up the evidence
of continued wasting of life
throw up a front, spare no expense
poke it and dig around with the knife
so full of venom
so full of rage
so empty of the wherewithal to fill another page
tick on like an old spring clock
I don't know what the hell is winding me
mulling over, taking stock
you're taking your damn good time finding me
one in a million means so little down here
means lost among the thousands
and one thing's clear
you've got to cover up the evidence
try to look important
it will mean nothing fifty years hence
So let's not talk about the elephant
standing by in this small room
also don't mention it's a tomb


Sunday, May 21, 2017

2.1844 : 5/21/10 : Days

What is the story
of all these days that get away
doing something wrong I'm sure
but do not know what else to say
the story of the moment
to the moment is compelling
but when I try to justify
it just feels like I'm selling
and really who is buying it
anyone besides me?
selling a number
a title, some fantasy
the lone creator
the genius in his toil
praying something worthwhile
sprouts out of this base soil


Saturday, May 20, 2017

2.1843 : 5/20/10 : Shameful

Too many reminders
of shameful little ditties
Why blazoned in capitals
the stupids and the pretties
any story of what it's for
crashes on the evidence
of random words and lines
that do not make a lick of sense


Friday, May 19, 2017

2.1842 : 5/19/10 : Status

Everybody's checking the status
It seems to be okay
knock on wood for now
check a little deeper another day
not what I expected no
Guess that it never is
always these reminders
Not my time, all His
Thank you for the status check in
thanks for asking after
hope in not too much time
I'll refer to it all with laughter


Thursday, May 18, 2017

2.1841 : 5/18/10 : Suspend

Tonight I will not
suspend my disbelief
that it matters what
I pull out of the teeth
of grief
or the eternal thief
Tonight I'll take
Whatever I can get
and if you're the type
to place a bet
I'd caution you to let
your better judgement favor any debt


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

2.1840 : 5/17/10 : Recursion

Feel the pull of recursion again
its the nature of the universe
of life itself my friend
iterate, reiterate to no clear end
and speaking of endings, maybe
that's missing the whole point
the process is the whole show
no terminus or joint
Does that mean I'm fine?
Does that mean I'm a success
does that mean there's a silver lining
in this God-forsaken mess
Go over it and over it
ten years, ten more
soon a strange recursion of a young man's
knocking on my door


Tuesday, May 16, 2017

2.1839 : 5/16/10 : Monster of Impatience

I want to name this monster
of impatience for you so bad
my finest little friend
Because it will be too long
until you can finally
I look for answers
in books and prayer
these days I'd try to
seek it anywhere
and I swear I will
get better
at making the monster tame
and until then I can only
remind you
it doesn't really
share my name


Monday, May 15, 2017

2.1838 : 5/15/10 : Cries

Everyone cries
even tough guys like me
all those billions and billions of tears
filled up the great salt sea
the world is so sad
and there's so little we can do
and asking why won't get you anywhere
that's something I know is true
Everyone cries
kings and presidents
Queens and parliaments
it makes no matter
they cry over movies
they cry over our graves
cry for the ones that nothing saves
over pages tears spatter
I cry when I need to
I cry when I must
but I often can't when I want to
I guess something to do with trust


Sunday, May 14, 2017

2.1837 : 5/14/10 : Ghosts

I feel the ghosts of graves and guns
ghost of old pains
through my channels it runs
I said please make it easier
So you make it harder
honestly do you think
this ordeal's making me smarter
Because I don't feel smarter
I feel dumb as a spike
that got pounded on the wrong end
a good fifty strikes
and these ghosts swirling round
they aren't telling me squat
least of all who the hell's
bad luck I caught


Saturday, May 13, 2017

2.1836 : 5/13/10 : Bright Side

Does your
two headed penny
have a bright side, bright side
heads you win, heads you win
which is my side?
reviewing past performance
I may not have been so great
at looking for the bright side
what would you say
has made me strong?
What would you say has made me well?
What makes me sick and weak and sad?
What makes this sour dust taste
What makes a prison cell
What makes us feel that we've been had?
Does your
two headed penny
have a bright side, bright side
heads you win, heads you win
which is my side?


Friday, May 12, 2017

2.1835 : 5/12/10 : A Word

Could I have a word with you
you Lord
if that's the word
for something that seems
only to wield silence
or a sword
the thing is
I can't make this
math work out
and this cheap postcard
I got sent seems
to smirk, pout,
sneer, disappear
Sorry I guess I can't remember
what the word was
and the answer always
seems to be just because
so it doesn't seem much worth it
to remember or say


Thursday, May 11, 2017

2.1834 : 5/11/10 : Break Out

Break out today though some
bars I'll carry with me
some new some old I'm
hoping for renewing
of some old dreams dry dreams
stale and choked with dust
that nasty jolt we hit hurt
but it shook off some rust
no doubt there will be time
For the bright talk to lose its shine
but I'm used to the ups and downs
I can tell which voice is mine
and it's good enough now
to see the bright side in beating this bout
and getting up and getting home
and breaking out


Wednesday, May 10, 2017

2.1833 : 5/10/10 : Nomad Middle

In this nomad middle, a field
of dreams
some interesting some so dull
though sent in on the same beams
the nomad is me a solo traveler
of arid seas
and the middle well
this middle here
is the forest I can't see for the


Tuesday, May 09, 2017

2.1832 : 5/9/10 : If This is What it Takes

If this is what it takes
to slow me down enforce a break
I guess I'm learning it
If the medium's the message
and the message is to stop
I guess I'm learning it
Well I didn't think I
would be quite so dense
I would wait so long
to get off the fence
but if this is what it takes
to lose a little control
I guess I needed that
Oh I recall so many
early warning calls
I wish I'd heeded that


Monday, May 08, 2017

2.1831 : 5/8/10 : I Would Say

I would say
this day has not
ended for me yet
and I did not
suspect even a
fraction of what I'd get
I will take my
free pass on this
small matter
not enough
to pain or
make my thoughts scatter
it's an experience
I can say that much for sure
not what I'd ask for
but you can't say it's not pure


Sunday, May 07, 2017

2.1830 : 5/7/10 : Phone

Bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone: bitch please shut off your phone - just turn the damn thing off if you want to be left alone - just turn off your damn phone - bitch turn off your damn phone
If you look you'll find a little button on the top
Just hold it down and all those calls you're hating on will stop
And put it in your purse now that wasn't hard you see
and also on the plus side it will save your battery
Bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone: bitch please shut off your phone - just turn the damn thing off if you want to be left alone - just turn off your damn phone - bitch turn off your damn phone
hawking products in your videos makes you a whore
they may call it new burlesque, it's grinding on the floor
nothing at all there someone didn't do before
more hype more ads more clothing bads I thought there would be more
Bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone: bitch please shut off your phone - just turn the damn thing off if you want to be left alone - just turn off your damn phone - bitch turn off your damn phone
there's a button on the top that'll make it stop, turn off your goddamn phone
there's a button on the top that'll make it stop, turn off your goddamn phone