Sunday, December 17, 2017

2.2054 : 12/17/10 : Juice

The one about the regret from the heart
the one about the failure of the juice
the one about the once that got the ace
the one where you wound up holding the deuce
I wish that I the one about the uh
the uh I wish that I could just, the the
there's no excuse for any of it but
something said way and I said what
the juice just where does it come from
with everybody scrapping in the scrum
who comes on top and who knows why
and why I never am that guy

what

Saturday, December 16, 2017

2.2053 : 12/16/10 : Never Happen

Whispers and glimmers
some things never happen
and if you think you want to
take the ride you better strap in
Because I have a real bad feeling
Well confess I just can't say
if it means a lot because
I've felt the same for many a day
And I'm here for all wrong reasons
far too many things like that
either mapping out wrong paths
starting things that fall down flat
still praying for the turnaround
but some things never happen so
I better make something happen
I better go

what

Friday, December 15, 2017

2.2052 : 12/15/10 : Unmade Bed

Never good enough fights
with don't give up
wish I could ignore it all
sit back, just tip the cup
why oh why why oh why
what went through my head?
to end up lying in another
unmade bed
Do the others feel more?
is it some spoke in their brain?
Should I be a bigger bastard?
Should I cultivate more pain?
It's all about itself
and there's no balance here
but the end to that dilemma's
not in sight I fear
I've only got one card left
to throw in this night's hole
I better fold up now
and leave the thing unpicked and whole

what

Thursday, December 14, 2017

2.2051 : 12/14/10 : Cast

Cast and cast again
nothing is biting on this hook
that loaded with anxiety
just like I read of in a book
just like a guy like me
to make it all about just how I feel
you need a book to be okay
oh surely I see the appeal
Cast them on you then what oh Lord
nothing changes I can see
maybe just not humble enough
maybe I should wait and see
maybe I should take a dose
before my brain gets cast in lead
too late maybe so, so sue me
For just trying to get ahead

what

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

2.2050 : 12/13/10 : Mile

I'm not prepared
to go the extra mile
I'm not prepared to serve
you with a smile
I'm not prepared to
let go my hold
on these worries and cares
as I'm getting old
is how I feel
but it is not so smart
I'd like to go
but don't know where to start
or maybe how to learn
I'm really in the middle
of a boredom in a vacancy
inside a banal riddle

what

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

2.2049 : 12/12/10 : Sister S

Hey sister S
On your island
with your harp
and halfway smiling
look doesn't mean anything
not for me
some deem me blind
but I can see
and it doesn't matter
neither here nor there
since I've no stomach left
for the old dog's hair
So I just have to suffer
the aftermath
better mind your own investments
we're all due to take a path

what

Monday, December 11, 2017

2.2048 : 12/11/10 : Worse

If you're not getting better but worse
it must be a curse on you
Do anything that you want to
It won't matter till you lift the spell
nothing matters anyway so just as well
trying to reclaim some better aspect
had it five years ago
or maybe I just can't tell what's good so
anyway so anyway anyway
it's enough to cal a spade a spade night the day
it's enough to call out a last verse
Submit to another day caught in curse

what

Sunday, December 10, 2017

2.2047 : 12/10/10 : Bad Sector

I've read this book before
been on this bad hook before
there's a bad sector on the medium somewhere
but the scans aren't finding it
they say familiarity breed contempt
and I'm long past thinking I'm exempt
and as things stand I don't mind
admitting yes I'm minding it
scan or no I know eventually
the damn thing's going to fail on me
spit up a hunk of work
I will not be able to recover
and I'll cook it up from scratch again
give me a hundred days I'll do the work of ten men
maybe lock it in this time
drag a golden data nugget out of the slime
I'm surely no fighter but
these days I haven't been much of a lover

what

2.2046 : 12/09/10 : Beating

My bearing and the beating
the fire and what it's feeding
someone else's problems
On the mighty box
my panting and my grimace
you couldn't call it a premise
feel crazy like something
and it's surely not a fox
put the past behind me
said before words always blind me
I guess it could be worse
these jackals on the screen
all mining life for drama
though mine now might seem a comma
and if I think about it much more
I'll get mean

what

Friday, December 08, 2017

2.2045 : 12/8/10 : Spare

Can only spare a line or two
the faster to return to you
A slim chance to hew to the track
and make amends for looking back

what

Thursday, December 07, 2017

2.2044 : 12/7/10 : Vampire High

Dreaming of dreaming
and it gives me a bad feeling
like a vampire in a high tower
about to be caught in a sun shower
I don't have the chops I don't know the tropes
I'm doomed to slump around down here with you dopes
cursing my cursing
cracked dry lips I'm pursing
try to whistle a tune jaunty
but the crowd demands the full monty
I dreamed of writing something but I woke with nothing in my head
and found I'd heard the wrong alarm and roused too early from my bed

what

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

2.2043 : 12/6/10 : Contrivance

If not another paean
to misstep, to regret
if not some forced contrivance
calculated not to let
a shred of truth to ghost past
this hard shut door
if not a holy relic
what on earth can it be for?

what

Tuesday, December 05, 2017

2.2042 : 12/5/10 : Smells Like Victory

He said it smells like victory
but I won't have a bit of it
the beast wants me to believe
but I am past all of that shit
remembering old flames
how sometimes I forget myself
I don't know what to do with that
but file it on the same old shelf
memory can take you back
but back is no place to be
remember how I touched you
I won't forget how you touched me
but those days just don't exist
anymore there's only here and now
Yeah me and old Colonel Kurtz
we'll do for your sacred cow
and I put all that behind
imagine my virtual J. P.
better be enough for you
it's going to be enough for me.

what

Monday, December 04, 2017

2.2041 : 12/4/10 : Interesting

Maybe I was more interesting
when I made stupider choices
couldn't there be some exchange
to hold onto those novel voices
and if it all stays dull dull
can I still do I still keep on
another useless riddle
another deep thought to sleep on
But I won't give up much
just to be interesting
and I guess I can keep on if I like
who knows what roads I'm testing
nobody's twisting anyone's arm
no one has a gun to his or her head
It doesn't quite keep me interested
but some strange itch gets fed

what

Sunday, December 03, 2017

2.2040 : 12/3/10 : Missing the Music

I'm missing the music
And that's a hell of a note
Oh ah I slay myself
but I'm proceeding by rote
and if I don't find music
somehow these dry limbs
will never flourish
will be still and sterile hymns
I've thought about learning
and I've thought about asking
I've thought about miracles
and the great unmasking
but I just keep dancing
try not to ask what frog I'll be kissing
hoping to unmask a prince of song
to supply the music I am missing

what

Saturday, December 02, 2017

2.2039 : 12/2/10 : Same

Same music plays
same signal
same hole is there
to go dig now
these beginnings
are so commonplace
no time to check the
sheepish look on my face
no time to wonder
how the shift could come
no time for anything
spit and play dumb
If I'd been there
maybe he'd have taken me apart
for hoping there could be
anything at all to really start

what

2.2038 : 12/1/10 : Different

Some sunny day
it will all be different
until then keep my
head down and pay the rent
If I can't prise something
new from the jaws of night
at least it can be put to bed
and save this searching for the light

what

2.2037 : 11/30/2010 : Thousand Cuts

None so deep
I feel allowed to complain deeply
look at that machinist I saw
how the price can rise so steeply
look at how my plan played out
a thousand ifs and buts
and me dying the cliched death
of bleeding from a thousand cuts
lacking agency
a viable vision
I hunker down before the box
and wait for transmission
just what I'm hoping for
I wish that I could say
I take another cut
and go about my way
I wish I could stop caring
and getting in a brood
I wish I could just walk away
but someone has to make the food
maybe I'll find a way
to jump out of these ruts
by the time that I've recovered
from another thousand cuts

what

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

2.2036 : 11/29/2010 : Cheat

Yeah I can cheat
with the best of them
and who do I cheat
no not the rest of them
I cheat only myself
but I'll make it pay
just like any good day
that's every day that I get
and I'll do it up honest
yeah I'll do it right yet

what

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

2.2035 : 11/28/2010 : Post

Post this, post that
I'm not the type to kiss and tell
post tit, post tat
I guest that it is just as well
I guess my legs are shaky
I guess my pipes are clean
I can't be rid of you entirely
I guess that you'd know what I mean
I hope you have not exited
I hope that you've gone clean
with a brand new spanking slate
I guess that you'd know what I mean
I know of one who has exited
leaving just the glorious words
Selfish I wish he were here
instructing all us clueless nerds
I guess I heard the call he left
chain letter of the soul indeed
I guess that I must have to
play the role of the dear friend in need

what

Monday, November 27, 2017

2.2034 : 11/27/2010 : Affinity

This affinity tonight
not the best time for
feeling it's all right
to flow to drift
to not to fight
and last time all things
fell from sight
but now I'll be
a better steerer
hope a day past
things will be clearer
and I'll see
what is nearer
even if the
cost is dearer
and with that
the harder work is done
and what's left
could be took
by anyone
let go of that
can't be moved by just one
take peace
at every song left unsung

what

Sunday, November 26, 2017

2.2033 : 11/26/2010 : Quit My Dreams

Desist, spectre
and quit my dreams
we were done long ago now
and it seems
that you were or became
someone better not to know
and wondering if it all was by design
I kind of think so
were you nemesis, enigma
were you muse or mentor?
human counterpart for
everything I never really went for?
were you just a charlatan
out for your own amusement
all with a slightly brutal edge
odd rumors of abuse lent
I don't try to figure it out
anymore, you're really gone it seems
aside from memories
and sometimes of course dreams

what

Saturday, November 25, 2017

2.2032 : 11/25/2010 : New Book

Has it been a year now?
more or less
no net to look it up here
I can only guess
am I off the better part
of a whole year
there is a milestone that tells me yes
just as I fear
I come upon your new book
halfway up some other stair
and there will never be another
all that's left is there
they're already digging up the past
and putting it all on display
already ready for the museum
and I feel like it happened yesterday

what

Friday, November 24, 2017

2.2031 : 11/24/2010 : No Repeat

No repeat will I tolerate
of the performances of late
the hard temptation I will feel
convinced the moment was not real
just because I don't remember
not a week shy of december
a date I will not record
I just forgot you have my word
and soon I will not even care
as long as I don't repeat it there

what

Thursday, November 23, 2017

2.2030 : 11/23/2010 : Triumph

I will declare triumph
not the luck
what is going on
I will ignore tomorrow
the crying of
th' immortal song
Someday I will try
to interpret the
action
no doubt it will
be a millennial
faction

what

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

2.2029 : 11/22/2010 : Human Hive

Imagine being asked so little
a little here a little there
always safe tucked in the middle
no need to shave or cut your hair
the human hive the real thing this time
it all costs a penny and takes five minutes
think up a riddle think up a rhyme
the possibilities are literally infinite
well not literally you're so literal
remembering the library of Babel and its downfall
I get depressed thinking our chances are so pitiful
and never seem to get around to start rolling the ball

what

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

2.2028 : 11/21/2010 : Bang

No big message
no kingdom come
no salt in the spirit
so just bang that drum
No chance of a pardon
no chance for a reprieve
no future in this joint
so you are going to have to leave
The sign above the portal
said bang bang bang
asked her what it meant
she said not much of anything
we've given up on protest
nothing to resist
the man's just a machine
and changing it's a ship we missed
so we'll stay down in this basement
least till we run out of rum
there's nothing much to do
but sit and bang that drum

what

Monday, November 20, 2017

2.2027 : 11/20/2010 : Alarm

How long will I keep
this music for my late alarm
trying to convince me to let go
trying to walk me past the harm
a whole life in one context
could I change?
shift or grow or somehow know
something past rich and strange
tied to a memory
of someone else's swell and fame
another night I sought
and felt at last I'd lost the game
before the big peak just recedes
and cools me back to starting square
I'll wrap another alarm bell ditch
and leave the question there

what

Sunday, November 19, 2017

2.2026 : 11/19/2010 : Recompense

Sometimes it seems I've no defense
when I demand some recompense
for some perceived deprivation
boy do I need a vacation
from the same old stale temptation
some new start some recreation
hard not to dream of the cash
harder not to fear the crash
given what's gone down to date
my recompense must have to wait
and while I wait and age is fleeting
it's my own self I'm mistreating
it's my own time gone to waste
and as far as recompense, I've lost my taste

what

Saturday, November 18, 2017

2.2025 : 11/18/2010 : Spent

And just like that
I am spent
and no idea
where it all went
or how I held it
up this long
or where I'll find
the next song

what

Friday, November 17, 2017

2.2024 : 11/17/2010 : The Feeling

Is this the feeling
the moment come?
is this the answer
truth, is this some
I'm not convinced
there's anything here
that anything's coming
that anything will become clear
I've got the feeling
the cycle turns
but it all just rolls over
and I hate the returns
and the feeling goes nowhere
and I don't know what to say
about that other stack of feelings
I would rather keep at bay

what

Thursday, November 16, 2017

2.2023 : 11/16/2010 : Galaxies

Ten galaxies for every
man woman and child
I corrected for growth down here
at least for a little while
yet here we are with nowhere to go
no tickets and no rides
and if we mess this rock ball hard enough
the price will come out of our hides
The glory mostly in our heads
and down here getting sparser
and we're fighting deckchair patterns
the conundrum has no parser
and we'll go down clinging
the the conviction the other guys were bums
pray that there's no heaven
or we'll all have to be chums
but for now I can take it
disappointment as big as a galaxy
that we do so very little
when what's possible is plain to see
I guess we don't have the equipment
the language that could set us free
to really step into the garden
get to know our galaxy

what

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

2.2022 : 11/15/2010 : Swing

Swing, swing
just look at that thing
at it hanging there and swinging
can you believe the line I'm slinging?

what

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

2.2021 : 11/14/2010 : Early

What I'm calling early is actually late
and in the context of my intentions isn't great
nothing to to talk my way out of here
no longer waiting for anything to appear
we tell a few lies even the best of us
we fumble the math trying to claim a plus
and that sound I'm hearing is my own breath
and it's not reassuring but it's better than death

what

Monday, November 13, 2017

2.2020 : 11/13/2010 : Remember Anything

What if I don't want to
remember anything
What's the best thing to say
to forget a particular brass ring
what if nothing is changing
and nothing is in my control
and who would I be to call anyone out
for not paying the selfsame toll
I'm praying to forget
and not recall anything at all
that I'll never look back again
at a particular year's great first snowfall

what

Sunday, November 12, 2017

2.2019 : 11/12/2010 : Taboo

Can't talk about this
cant talk about that
too many subjects taboo
not about morals
belief or tradition
in truth I'm just trying to impress you
Golly how foolish
what a cheap talker
trying to work magic with words
and I should be over it
I should be realistic
never to rise to the top of the nerds
choose to be cryptic
choose to stay mum
King of my own tatty pile
suppose in ten more years
I'll be a bit higher
but still feel I've missed by a mile

what

Saturday, November 11, 2017

2.2018 : 11/11/2010 : Pit

There's something very wrong
with the way that I've been trying
to liberate myself from this pit
where I feel I'm slowly dying
think it might involve this shovel
something to do with the digging
but it's hard to think about it
hard when I am always wigging
can't pick a direction
I get bored and dig a little more
can't go down forever can it
has to be a bottom floor
I just want to even it out
get the bottom smooth and flat
a good place to start jumping from
yeah maybe if I weren't so fat
somebody quoted me Jack London
Something about up and out
you make it sound so easy Jackie
that wasn't what you were about
I don't know what you were about
another thing to stop and learn
but even down here in the pit
the seasons turn and turn

what

Friday, November 10, 2017

2.2017 : 11/10/2010 : Forgetfulness

Oh my forgetfulness
how easily the past is lost
forget the summer's heat
the cruel before-spring's frost
I forget the loneliness
of being all alone
I better remember quick
my sins for to atone
can't go back and fix the past
not even only yesterday
and just like in the dream I had
Forgetfulness can't hold past effort at bay
I try to tell myself
it doesn't matter if I slip a bit
but the all or nothing man inside
doesn't believe it

what

2.2016 : 11/09/2010 : Bad Things I Want

I keep it quiet but I bet you could guess
I'm not nearly so nice as my resume suggests
I want bad things you know it's really true
I might even want to do bad things with you
I keep it buttoned up oh I am so reserved
conceal my blackest heart, what I think I deserved
you'd think it colorful, you'd think it was a stunt
If I told you about all the bad things I want
I wash the dishes I take out the trash
I wash my face trim my beard and mustache
I keep my mouth shut, eyes might look a little mad
with the pressure of the wanting to do something bad
well will I ever slip let my fists unclench
will I ever let my black angel get off the bench
and run with it when you all expect me to punt
whispered instructions in his ear:
get me some of those bad things I want

what

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

2.2015 : 11/08/2010 : I've Got a Good Feeling About This

I've got a good feeling about this
coming collapse
the way it's going to pan out
when the infrastructure snaps
I've got a good feeling
Won't let anyone dispute
and when all others are running
I'll be still and mute
Too many bad feelings
I didn't get a fair shake
I missed some real good chances
that's the chance you have to take
but I'll get mine I'l get mine
while all others are reeling
I will stroll through chaos so serene
held up on my good feeling

what

Tuesday, November 07, 2017

2.2014 : 11/07/2010 : All

Done it all?
Or maybe I ain't done nothing
Not fair at all
A whole lot more than one thing
So what's missing?
Is it real or just delusion
and does that question matter
is it the source of my confusion
I know it's impossible
and no one can do it all
and I'm not even close
I stood a lot against the wall
and will I ever dance
and will I ever dance
get a little of it all
get a little take a chance

what

Monday, November 06, 2017

2.2013 : 11/06/2010 : Extension

Can't hardly think
so weary from toil
turning the crank
to tighten up the coil
be back to full extension
in less than twenty four
and I feel all right about it
and I don't want one thing more

what

Sunday, November 05, 2017

2.2012 : 11/05/2010 : This Way Comes

Let me pretend
something wonderful
this way comes
ignoring the portents
the signals the drums
ignore the gross
narratives of the short sighted
and the way what was
once green is blighted
act like a solution
is well on the way
to how we found
reasons for fighting each day
and despite all indications
we'll toss out the bums
when we celebrate the wonderful
that this way comes

what

Saturday, November 04, 2017

2.2011 : 11/04/2010 : Is There Something Wrong?

Is there something wrong?
well is anything right?
that's the one thing that has me struggling
every late night
as the hands crawl blindly
to the witching hour
and my black angel's evil twin
comes into his nightly power
how to resist?
when I know it's just an incident
another day will find me back to square one
and the column still bent
how can this crummy frame
hold up this crummy roof
sure I know you know there's something wrong
but can you come up with some proof?
If not I'm sorry but I'm going to hold my tongue
or I'll soon say far too much
and this day is far too young

what

Friday, November 03, 2017

2.2010 : 11/03/2010 : Middle of a Mess

Smack in the middle
of a mess I made
doing everything
better sense forbade
no wise words no
exit strategy
hope's not enough
and I think fate's mad at me
no way to fix it
no bright notions
no magic spells
and no magic potions
no benefit to
not getting caught
nothing stronger than
knowing that I ought
to do everything
that's so obvious
a tiny hedge in a
world so perilous
no way to end it
in a neat wrap up
just a day put away
another bad idea to snap up

what

Thursday, November 02, 2017

2.2009 : 11/02/2010 : Good Enough

So what if my best
isn't good enough
for what? I guess
to call the bluff
of whatever it is
that runs this show
used to have a name for it
but these days I don't know
what if I check off
every box I can think up
and find it's just like every other
stage I managed to stink up
what if my best
is really mediocre
just the kind of trick
I'd expect of this joint's joker

what

Wednesday, November 01, 2017

2.2008 : 11/01/2010 : Pretty Smut

Even all the pretty smut
can't keep my eyes open this night
what piled up against my door wasn't pretty but
Somehow its arrangement seems right
don't know how I'm going to kill the hours
can't imagine what a new day will bring
will I dream of the forest the towers
will I remember anything

what

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

2.2007 : 10/31/2010 : Five Years Gone

Late thinking on five years gone by
too many things I didn't think through
obsessed with long goodbyes
and wishes that didn't come through
not much to say about
firsts and lasts and and starts and finishes
and still the promises
and still the hopeless wishes
If it could be like a game I played
pick the hour and choose to rest
go back a lot longer than five years gone
where would I be if I'd really been my best
keep asking what can I expect
something different seems a stretch
think about five more years gone
think what l'd travel back to fetch
and what I'd cast behind
only this minute to transform
maybe someday someday
another tale will be my norm

what

Monday, October 30, 2017

2.2006 : 10/30/2010 : Something Else

If I could be something else, a magician
a far traveler, wandering poet and guide
a ship's captain, a stately patrician
how much would it change how I feel inside
maybe I've put the chicken before the egg
and it's the feelings inside that do the defining
limited to this narrow circle no chance to renege
and so useless the something else I'm pining
for and perhaps on the matter of feeling
it is paying them heed that's the culprit
slave to emotions and the chances they're stealing
that could see me in the wheelhouse, see me in the pulpit
but other times I think what the whole problem boils
down to is wanting to be this other something
barking up the wrong tree while my dinner spoils
I don't know if that's horrible or comforting

what

Sunday, October 29, 2017

2.2005 : 10/29/2010 : Simple

Simple it's all so very simple
not a wrinkle of doubt or hesitance
so as to why it took so long or is
taking so long it must come down to circumstance
to do this and to not do that
it doesn't take a genius to plan
so some start immediately
but I'm not such a simple man
little turns out as  I wish it
always better in my thoughts before
but that can't be allowed an impediment
I've got what I've got and simply nothing more
maybe never enough maybe never quite good
maybe simple and plain like an unworked band
but I can't deny I see a glimpse of something higher
it has all unfolded just as I planned

what

Saturday, October 28, 2017

2.2004 : 10/28/2010 : Last

By God I think that I can
win through if I can just last
that's yesterday's question
that moment is long past
and seems far longer a lifetime
that happened to some other guy
who made the same mistake twelve hundred times
and never thought to even once ask why
The last of this the first of that
none of it will matter in three months' time
it is an old square stone at the back of the hill
and see what you read when you scrape off the grime
here lies the last of the early risers
dragged across days by a slender thread
that must reel us all back asleep and drifting
floating dragged by that strand at the back of your head
Is that the last verse? no this is the last verse
reeling it in on its own little strand
to remember where I marked a moment, a form
held its symbol like a single candle in my hand

what

Friday, October 27, 2017

2.2003 : 10/27/2010 : Wind

Remember the night
of the terrible wind
thinking of what's given
and what power can rescind
all the things left undone
however you might work
and how the way of everything
seems like an unguided quirk
have I stood up
and made my position plain
and if the file has been corrupted
then I must stand up again
know I never do enough
or live up to my heroes
in a future that must be composed
of more than ones and zeroes
will one more gesture carry me
to be asleep in twenty four
and dreaming of some wonder world
and pray to do a little more
when he morrow comes calling
to whatever place I'm pinned
pray my prayers get carried up
by this crazy mighty wind

what

Thursday, October 26, 2017

2.2002 : 10/26/2010 : Winter's Heart

How do I give up at the end of the day?
I try to live up but still I have to put the thing away
And almost every night something plays a trick
And all my clever promises just do not seem to stick
What am I looking for - amazing I don't know
Is it just a metaphor, or somewhere new to go
but the few places that I end at never change
it is no wonder if I feel somewhat deranged
There's nothing new to see but they dress it in different clothes
I asked the angel who the chosen were but he said not those
Oh did I not mention the black angel that haunts my nights
pushing my pen around and getting me in fights
tonight will be different that's what I've chosen to say
I don't known how or why but I'll believe it anyway
as darkness closes its hands around another winter's heart
I will pretend I've solved the riddle and have made a start

what

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

2.2001 : 10/25/2010 : Failing

I hate to blow you off again
but failing's not a mortal sin
and I am succeeding
at other things
for now
I should not equivocate
something that I always hate
to see in anyone else
but it make me grit my teeth and seethe
my head with comic storm clouds wreathed
that I really don't have anything to express
not even a no, no, not even a yes

what

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

2.2000 : 10/24/2010 : Beginnings

So many so called beginnings
it must start to look suspect
Alongside a stark sameness
saying what did you expect

Since I can't find the words
that sound like anything true
I will leave it at that
and just try to drift through

what

Monday, October 23, 2017

2.1999 : 10/23/2010 : Party Like It's

I think I already did this
Oh God I already did this all
what do you do when no matter what it's crazy
and plus you just felt your back brush the wall
I already got angry at stupid strangers
I already kicked the goalpost back
I already forgot the other thing I already did
hell just toss it up on the damn stack
Should I party like it's whatever whatever
already did it ten years gone and more
and did that other thing that I'm trying not to write about
I'm not embarrassed it's just such a bore
It's all so boring predictable nonsense
no chance of difference no reprieve
I haven't got a chance in hell why fight it
and it doesn't matter what I believe
guess I stay hopeful 'cause it's just hell not to
don't know how I do it after all these years
best not to talk about it think about it
listen to me kids if you've got ears

what

Sunday, October 22, 2017

2.1998 : 10/22/2010 : Familiarity

It's time we took familiarity back
it's time we threw
every sacred cow on the stack
I don't know who that dude is
but he seems honest to me
it's time we it's time we
decided to take back free
I dream a perfect world
unapologetic
it's time I once again
declared myself peripatetic
not much chance these days
but hey if the dream pays
I'll call it familiar
and take it back
I'll call this the last day
and cast myself to the rack

what

Saturday, October 21, 2017

2.1997 : 10/21/2010 : Bridge

I wish that I could burn that bridge
the one no one can see but me
to known it's there makes my head bound
to light it up would set me free
I fall asleep next thing I know
I wake up I'm halfway across
Because I've got no insurance
I'll have to sell it at a loss
Hey mister can I interest you
in something that's invisible
and in a place I cannot map
The situation's risible
but I'm not laughing I can't stop
dreaming of soaring towers of flame
I burn it all day long in my head
but every day it's just the same

what

Friday, October 20, 2017

2.1996 : 10/20/2010 : The Game Also

Hate the players and hate the game also
I thought my virtue was true
but it turned out to be false-o
I'm no player but the game beat me anyway
don't know what I came to say
besides I sure don't want to play
no more but you got no option to quit
the majority claims life
and by gods they'll have a piece of it
and some will howl
over this or that scrap
fools who can't differentiate
the territory for the map
no villains no heroes no winning
never a half time
never a final inning
The game also ends for each alike
Whether you sing a big song
or choke at the mic
seems unfair and arbitrary
well who says it isn't
but what do I know
I'm just some game-hating pissant

what

Thursday, October 19, 2017

2.1995 : 10/19/2010 : Coup

Not much of a coup
but it's going to have to do
rather have it done
than try to impress anyone
left it to the last
still must let the ghosts go past
and point face to the sun
go on just like anyone

what

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

2.1994 : 10/18/2010 : Vanishing

The point's been vanishing
all along while I was banishing
what I thought were ghosts of the past
while I thought the spell would last
woke up recently enraged
at the dumb business
that had me engaged
I put a stop to that
but now I cannot find my main hat
now I cannot find my role
and all the days have taken their toll
and my optimism's fit to vanish
like my calculus and Spanish
all I lost to lack of use
all I've lost, and no excuse
I used to blame it all on fate
now just pray that the vanishing abate

what

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

2.1993 : 10/17/2010 : Thorn

Just what is this thorn
this irritant?
that makes me obtuse
and belligerent
that makes me drink
the poison
that turns this
wretched noise on
and so many times
I've said enough
always knowing
I can call that bluff
and slam my stupid hand
down on the thorn
keep trying but the doubt's
already born

what

Monday, October 16, 2017

2.1992 : 10/16/2010 : Sea Change

The sea change comes
just like the cycle hums
It rises like an ocean
and crashes just like a notion

what

2.1991 : 10/15/2010 : Oblivious

And I'm oblivious now
detached from time
I hate the thought of dragging it out
so I shouldn't do the crime
but these days keep coming
and the fever is strong
it will go one way or the other
and it won't be long

what

Saturday, October 14, 2017

2.1990 : 10/14/2010 : Flow

Whatever flow is it isn't this
this is just simulation
the bottom line regurgitates a common theme
the lessonless, manifest reiteration
I do not have what I claimed to have
detachment, objectivity, whatever
I don't know what I have or don't have
I don't think that I'm even clever
at this point just to stop grabbing buckets of dismay
stop trying to ascend that pile
It's pretty gloomy now but I can only hope
things will lighten up a bit after a while

what

Friday, October 13, 2017

2.1989 : 10/13/2010 : Certain

To be certain
just can't be certain
So pull the curtain
and get on with it
Words lost to chaos
Well probably no great loss
it irks but who knows
it could be a hit
but this hit calls
and maybe that's all
remember to forget

what

Thursday, October 12, 2017

2.1988 : 10/12/2010 : Blanked

Blanked out on whatever
I thought I had on my mind
Leaving an empty status
that left me in a bind
I've got no continuity
I've got no future plan
I just keep dreaming of seeing
the flash of gold in my pan

what

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

2.1987 : 10/11/2010 : Pending

When you can't tell if you don't know
or you're just pretending
Guess that could be real uncertainty
decision pending
When you're pretty sure
that either fork leads to the pits
might as well put it off
no use in throwing fits
don't feel right and I don't feel right
when I did I can't recall
but it must have been so lovely
must have had a ball
pending some enlightenment
some transcending flash
I guess I'll keep my counsel
try not to be rash

what

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

2.1986 : 10/10/2010 : Unremarkable

So is that it?
Is that everything?
the fear of the
unremarkable?
Go to be early
stay healthy and wise
avoid the fantastic
and the impractical
I hate the dumb romantics
who praise their follies
but I may be
just as bad
Sometimes I feel
just sick of everything
and no matter how I play it
I'll feel like I've been had

what

Monday, October 09, 2017

2.1985 : 10/9/2010 : Say Your Prayers

Say your prayers
Say your prayers
at the last possible minute
and as quickly as you can
put it off
until your mind is numb and humming
with a thousand contradictions
right back where the thing began
why do it anymore
I believe but I don't believe
that what I do matters
that i has any effect
I believe in You not me
and that what will be will be
and that seems to render everything
pointless when you stop to reflect

what

Sunday, October 08, 2017

2.1984 : 10/8/2010 : Better Story

What if the better story
is disappointing
and less interesting
what then?
I only ever asked for
simple instructions
I never asked to
wield the pen
What if almost
nobody has
much of a story
has much significance
what if it's all
just a stage but
we are not players
but merely and audience

what

Saturday, October 07, 2017

2.1983 : 10/7/2010 : Recovery

After the affliction
the recovery
past the worst depths of addiction
hopefully some discovery
reminder of better days
oh how we are poorly dealt
in so many way
another dense brick of evidence
for the disbelievers
why'd you make such flawed vessels
such faulty receivers
no answer there
yet you helped me at my darkest hour
the paradox of recovery
the discovery of a hidden flower

what

Friday, October 06, 2017

2.1982 : 10/6/2010 : Almost

Complete failure on
almost every level
so many chances to
run hot or run cold
I'm no ascetic
and there's no chance to revel
and I wasted another day
dreaming about gold
almost everyone I know
has gotten too busy
to worry about my problems
well I shouldn't complain
cause they all seem small
but all in all I get quite dizzy
when I stack them all up
and try to explain
I almost thought I had
an inkling of the answer once more
I didn't even bother to
write it down this time
I knew what I'd be chewing on
knew what was in store
knew it would all but evaporate
at the first bell's chime

what

Thursday, October 05, 2017

2.1981 : 10/5/2010 : Sawing

That violin that I hear sawing
away
is just a bow fixed to
a dumb spinning wheel
a high sweet voice
heard in a dream
is a stylus scraping down
a disk of steel
good heavens did we
slip back a decade or two
there's no redeeming
this wretched start
but it's just another dram
in this damn hell brew

what

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

2.1980 : 10/4/2010 : Möbius

I looped a short white ribbon
with a half twist
and on that möbius band
I ground a fine grist
and when the subject
was the thinnest dust
Still I was faced with
just what I must
going backwards
just the same ahead
at some point no matter
where I was it came to a head
no way forward
but to break the band
and it will be a long season
till I really understand

what

Tuesday, October 03, 2017

2.1979 : 10/3/2010 : Epic

I think I hoped it would be epic
think I thought it would be epic
but I sort of planned for boring
fuck what all was I ignoring
and jesus what a topic
being dull dim and myopic
worst part not much different now
waiting still for the ka-pow

what

Monday, October 02, 2017

2.1978 : 10/2/2010 : Stupid Plan

I've got a stupid plan
I've got a stupid little plan
and I'm sure that it won't work
but it'll cover me for tonight
and I'm a stupid man
yeah I'm a stupid little man
and I'm not making progress
but I don't I still deserve to feel all right
first off I've done it all before
secondly it doesn't make any sense
so I'm expecting things to go very differently
this time around
worst of all I still buy into all of it
oh how I'll cringe a decade hence
coming back upon these strange predictions
Oh how it will all look from higher ground

what

Sunday, October 01, 2017

2.1977 : 10/1/2010 : Perspective

Is there a perspective on this
where I do not look the fool
probably not I'm pretty sure
I know these tired angles
And was the time spent looking
for just the wrong tool
trying to true the square with triangles
At some point I will look back
and see it as a hideous start
to another long session of deception
I would like to look back
see the time when I got smart
and this little side step as an exception

what

Saturday, September 30, 2017

2.1976 : 9/30/2010 : Previews

If you can't show me the
main attractions
could I at least get
some previews
something to sharpen
anticipation
some intimation
of good news
I've been suffering
through these repeats
feeling the story is done
just want a hint of
anything coming
some sign of
coming fun
I know I've got my
attitude turned upside down
don't know how to
right it
I know this feeling
will be back
wish I knew
how to fight it

what

Friday, September 29, 2017

2.1975 : 9/29/2010 : Perfect and Blue

 Could I make it tonight
and even if I make it tonight
it doesn't matter to tomorrow
nothing ever matters
when it's tomorrow
could I figure it out
and make the difference up to you
or will I be
perfect and blue
perfect and blue

what

Thursday, September 28, 2017

2.1974 : 9/28/2010 : If Tonight's the Night

I try so hard to imagine
the music swelling that way for me
I've been spoiled by the movies
I've been spoiled by the teevee
God did I really imagine
I would end up one of those
people people know by name
that life that dream those clothes
I don't really think I did
no idea who I was trying to kid
sad to say I think it was just
something to hold on to
wonder if you're telling stories about me
wonder if you're in the clink or floating free
wonder if anyone will
tell me if you die
wonder if tonight's the night
and if I'm that guy
and however hard I try to imagine
the silence presses down like a rock
and I truly don't know where I'm going next
but at this point this is all just talk

what

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

2.1973 : 9/27/2010 : Joint

Too much the same
up to this point
doubtful about how well
I can drag it round the joint
but I got to I just got to
come high water, come the fire
even if I don't know
at all what to aspire

what

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

2.1972 : 9/26/2010 : Need Anything

I talked to you a long time
now I can't recall hardly anything I said
same old same old probably
that rattles always around my head
If I could give you something
if you could need anything
I'd trade you for a little hint
you could have a little bird bring

what

Monday, September 25, 2017

2.1971 : 9/25/2010 : Memories

Maybe all you can get or give
are memories
wiped clean in a generation or two
and the lingering detritus
just part of the same stew
not natural not human
not friends or enemies
if I could leave a last message
and I only had a line or two
sorry for the old cliché
maybe if I had another day
but I could only say
oh how I really really love you
If I could influence your memories
I'd give a minute of beauty
try to balance freedom and duty
and how to live as if you'll
live forever
and maybe go today
and hope you would remember

what

Sunday, September 24, 2017

2.1970 : 9/24/2010 : So Much Work

Got to quit complaining
that it's all so much work
like so much what else then
life's little file clerk
trying to get it all in boxes
trying to stick the labels on
before the quake comes to unravel
and the order sought is gone
as the temperature dips down
and I choose to set the work aside
and not think of it for a while
and let the current order ride

what

2.1969 : 9/23/2010 : That Didn't Work

Well that didn't work - no note of that
the transition protocol, the fancy new hat
the itty bitty songs at the frustrated last minute
looks like I'm just gonna have to swallow the loss, innit
looks like I have to get back on the long-form kick
and the little by little and trying not to be a dick
praying for patience, praying for peace
praying for the little revelations that bring release
put everything together and try another angle
let the impossible questions dangle
pick four or five solid virtues to pursue
and try so very hard to be good to you
and try so very hard to rise above the slippery slope
try to savor the feeling of not being a dope
believe in what's believable and gloss the rest
let what can't be understood to time's only test
well that didn't work but here I'm still kicking
throwing noodles at the wall to observe what's sticking.

what

Friday, September 22, 2017

2.1968 : 9/22/2010 : Magic Numbers

Magic numbers and
significant dates
five minute reprieves
then eight minute hates
I try to lay it all out
in a tidy row
but what it all could mean
I just don't know

what

Thursday, September 21, 2017

2.1967 : 9/21/2010 : Every Manner

Every manner and
this one too
waiting to be rid of
the scrutiny of you
fate seems against me
I sullen wait
for scheming chance to open the gate

what

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

2.1966 : 9/20/2010 : Science & Religion

I'd like to study
science and religion
but it's hella bigger than me
and I'm probably
dancing on shaky ground
to believe this dream could set me free
I know a few good people
I've got a jones
and that can be a mission
I guess that all I can do
is send a message
hope it's a transmission

what

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

2.1965 : 9/19/2010 : Nothing Cute

Nothing cute today
no adroit words to say
like it is what it is
no response I fail the quiz
nothing to say about what's coming
or the way that I've been summing
on the dark side of my questions
or how open I am to suggestions
I know tonight I disappoint
no excuse the time is out of joint
no excuse I've just been bad
not enough that I've been sad
I will try tomorrow true
but since it's what I always do
it's hard to guess if it will matter
Still I'll get up on the ladder
try to make it up a little higher
try not to be such a big old sigher
try to cheer up act my age
try to write a better page

what

Monday, September 18, 2017

2.1964 : 9/18/10 : Thunder

A little laugh
and lord I sure need it
however distant the thunder
I still have to heed it
still optimistic
deep down I must be crazy
guess I'll muddle it through somehow
the details are a little hazy

what

Sunday, September 17, 2017

2.1963 : 9/17/10 : Responsible

Please take away the fear
of the very possible
that nonetheless is not happening
for all I cannot be responsible
too many paces up and down
far too much for me to count
but not enough I do not know
it adds to a fearsome amount
the bigger picture is too vast
take away the urge to see it
the role of savior is not mine
take away the urge to be it
so little for me to be responsible
make me satisfied with that
and give me peace for all the rest
and enough strength to wear my own hat

what

Saturday, September 16, 2017

2.1962 : 9/16/10 : Cusp

Could this be the cusp at hour thirty two
nothing I want to believe is true
show me horror I'll show you fact
show me stupid I'll show you me caught in the act
There is no cusp there is no mountaintop
a meaningless sting then a sickening drop
be that as it may I might as well
overcome and then refuse to tell
erase ten years an offhand shrug
step lightly from the ditch I dug
won't mean a thing won't save a soul
it's so damn easy without any goal
It's so damn easy without highs or lows
a man without regard for what weight he tows
or if the hill goes up or down
or if there's any chance he'll ever leave this town

what

Friday, September 15, 2017

2.1961 : 9/15/10 : Protocol

You'll remember that voice
for a good long time
And the imaginary box
it trapped you in like a mime
and the way that it struck you
motionless like a doll
when you dared to invoke the protocol
Oh how everything seems
so much the same
except that you feel funny
when you say your own name
and the way you get an itch to stare at the wall
and relive the separate place of the protocol
transitions are crazy
nobody likes change
and if you want to turn right back
well that can be arranged
but if you're determined to go on
that's just what you'll do
and you must just trust in the protocol to see you through

what

Thursday, September 14, 2017

2.1960 : 9/14/10 : Scarcely

Scarcely succeeded
still I guess that's a day
no doubt choke tomorrow
but it's not then now so okay

I can't get wound up about
scarcely scratching by
so maybe in a year or so I run
and in a thousand I may fly

what

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

2.1959 : 9/13/10 : An End, and a Beginning

And end, and a beginning
I suspect there will be no end to sinning
no end to slipping, no end to failing
And possibly no end to this
bilge I'm bailing
It's okay to end a day on a cliché
I demure I'm sure sometimes it happens that way
It won't change a thing
but of course that's given
Sometimes I won't feel any hope
Sometimes I won't feel forgiven
taken all together it's a hot mess of words
the massive recreation of the war of the nerds
turned out I wasn't Hamlet
not even Polonius
Damn sure I'm not Miles
Bird or Thelonious
But I can still end things
begin others
stand up and cheer if
you're with me brothers
stand up and fake it like I am winning
until I make it to some
strange beginning

what

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

2.1958 : 9/12/10 : Signal Decay

Reflection on reflection
translation on translation
there's almost no more signal left
on the signal decay location
Good heavens, ah
Oh my lands
I'm fairly boxed in tight
by all these ampersands
all these asterisks
and treble clefs
I though that I could weigh a man
by the weight of concepts he hefts
but I was proved wrong
by the end of the day
the sad truth demonstrated
in the signal decay

what

Monday, September 11, 2017

2.1957 : 9/11/10 : Book

I just want to finish my book
stay up too late
and blow off everything tomorrow
but I need to be done
with that particular gun
and its particular brand of sorrow
I've got all the information
I need right now
Don't need any more reading
I can't even venture a guess
about tomorrow tonight
and anyway tonight's so fleeting

what

Sunday, September 10, 2017

2.1956 : 9/10/10 : Everything Wrong

I'm going to work diligently
to get everything wrong
wrong kind and wrong number
wrong time to write a song
hide knowing it'll get caught out
wrong choice of final rites
I'm just hoping to find a way
to get rid of the parasites
I worked so hard at being right
forgot the question
I don't know how to start the next verse
but I'm open to suggestion
I'm going to try so patiently
to stack it up again
the days behind the fluid now
I felt I had sometimes had when
I believed in a few little dreams
believed in things working
I believed maybe in a happy ending
might be in some odd corner working
I'll worry about tomorrow now
I'll worry about the gong
a-sounding out strange endings
I'm confident that's wrong

what

Saturday, September 09, 2017

2.1955 : 9/09/10 : Sell

Sell, sell, sell
get rid of all the cruft
we're all being consumed
by such an excess of stuff
low reserves
shipping like a cloud
insubstantial you can't
afford to pass up
an offer so loud
look at that
think of what you'd pay
if you had bought it new
you can't afford to pass it up today
sell sell sell
I will feel so much lighter
jettisoning all the stuff
I'll succeed
'cause I'm a fighter

what

Friday, September 08, 2017

2.1954 : 9/08/10 : Fast & Empty

It all seems so fast
and so empty
and so many thousand things
that seem to pre-empt me
is this the story that was meant
is anything really meant
and if not why the hell
did all these feelings get sent
Fast they say because
it all started with a bang
empty because there was
hardly ever anything
that's origin myth for you
shit cool story bro
doesn't really give me personally
much to go on though
I stand try to be slow
I sit and try to be full
knowing I'm getting dragged along with all of it
a speck stuck to a speck by gravity's pull

what

Thursday, September 07, 2017

2.1953 : 9/07/10 : Urgency

This illusion of urgency
that comes with being human
and all the lists and circumstances
we be exhuming
it's a tale I guess
but it seems pretty stupid
pouring one remedy down
after another
I swear to God
we'll hit the right one brother
and find at last
our perfect cupid
draw back the bow let arrow fly
we won't get provoked to ask why
we'll see that bastard
hit its target
and when we're rich and fat
content with our lot
we won't question a single
minute that we've got
fuck you jack
We know we are set

what

Wednesday, September 06, 2017

2.1952 : 9/6/10 : Now

I can hear the alarm saying
it ought to be now
and after all these years
I still don't seem to know how
and I can't stop trying
seems it's in my bones
So I carry now around
like a cart full of stones
talking won't do it
nor writing either
maybe grit and gumption
got no stocks of neither
but I better not wait
for another shot across the bow
the sole redeeming feature
is there's nothing but now

what

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

2.1951 : 9/5/10 : Labor

You said you wanted a marker
I'll call this a labor of love
and admit I hate it sometimes
but admit it fits me like a glove
probably not my goldmine
and my treasure resides elsewhere
I got to give up all these fools gold nights
and find some other way to care
how will I complete my labor
not without pain and grief
and the fear that steals in stealthy
like a tricky scary thief
not without mistakes and crossings out
not without near misses
but I might just make it through
with my strand of three and a hundred kisses

what

Monday, September 04, 2017

2.1950 : 9/4/10 : Not Over

The night's not over
and I haven't beat it yet
maybe you want an answer
it's not what you're going to get
I'm not feeling myself
or else I am far too much
I'd like to wrap it gracefully
sadly it seems I lost my touch

what

Sunday, September 03, 2017

2.1949 : 9/3/10 : Just Dumb

See the thing for what it is
a failure to be overcome
another sign you're not there yet
another sign that you're just dumb
don't expect much from tomorrow
don't expect a thing to change
Why would it nothing's different
another chance you just estrange
think about the ones that have left
that is not the boat you're in
expect another good long inning
add another coat of sin
You might get a little smarter
with your nose hard at the wheel
with a lot of grit and focus
dumb might just lose it's appeal

what

2.1948 : 9/2/10 : Repetition

Nothing new to say
I guess it's down to repetition
done believing in the call
done waiting for the mission
easy to see what's to do
and nothing but to do it
sure can't see an end to it
So might as well get to it
these feelings these decisions
and the whole thing will repeat
one day maybe a different way
and wouldn't that be neat
imagined as a wall of shelves
the same box lined up stretching
down the hall and round the corner
at the thought of it I'm retching

what

Friday, September 01, 2017

2.1947 : 9/1/10 : Tedious

So tedious
I can barely keep my bile down
struggle to be original
keep the lid on the style down
the only weapon
that I have when it rolls
over me
is cut it off at the knees
and pretend
it is a parody

what

Thursday, August 31, 2017

2.1946 : 8/31/10 : Fastball

After a while
every year
shaves a few miles
per hour off the old
fastball
and mile by mile
it would appear
from the turnstiles
that what's left's a heart of gold
and that's all
smile for the reporter
and act like
you are happy
with the past
its glories
turn off that recorder
put down the mic
got no snappy
words to cast
just stories

what

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

2.1945 : 8/30/10 : Stop Pushing

Stop pushing, stop pushing
do you think that this is helping
or do you just get nervous
at the sound of anguished yelping
there's enough on my thin shoulders
though I ordered up a light yoke
but perhaps that isn't seemly
I am after all of privileged folk
Stop pushing! Stop pushing!
get your hands off me
you aren't anyone to
try to step and scoff me
Stop pushing! stop pushing...
a city song for certain
but you'll find a country boy up here
if you look behind the curtain

what

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

2.1944 : 8/29/10 : Sunday's Child

Sunday's child is tired
of all the crying behind the door
Sunday's child is feeling
like he's been down this road before
But Monday's child could tell him
there's no new thing 'neath the sun
And everything that's happened to him
happened to someone before
turn again to Sunday's child
Maybe he's got it this time
the eternal truth that never fades
and wrapped up in sweet rhyme
my revelation sir is that
the truth is not a monolith
and so declines to through behind
the epoch's leading myth

what

Monday, August 28, 2017

2.1943 : 8/28/10 : Forgive the Moon

Forgive the moon for not
shining bright enough
Forgive the universe
for not being made of softer stuff
Forgive you Lord for not
telling me just what to do
and forgive me especially
for forgetting you
I wrote this here
I am the author and the scribe
bowing over in secret
imagining your every jibe
I'll claim persistence
for today anyway my plume
something stored away
another decade may exhume
so forgive the moon
For being so far and so cold
forgive these tired bones
that carry me from growing old
forgive entropy
for being more persistent than me
another decade
begging for a perfect symphony

what

Sunday, August 27, 2017

2.1942 : 8/27/10 : To Love You Always

It did not take a diamond ring
a promise, a hilltop, or anything
for me to know that I was
to love you always
The moment you were in my arms
as if queen fate had cast her charms
about us and to
follow us through all days
this is not a book a poem
a little players' scene
a shadow play revealed
by a lantern behind a screen
this is real life and nonetheless
each day one thing I need not guess
I will for you and you for me
a love supreme, surprising, free
a knowing that I am to love you always

what

Saturday, August 26, 2017

2.1941 : 8/26/10 : The Kiss Off

If I never see you all again
it'll be too soon
this is the kiss off
let me show you the tune
you're just a pack of dumb trouble
and your welcome's stale
time to throw you out
like yesterday's mail
I used to stay up real late
thinking real heavy thoughts
sure wish I could have that time back
pin that ah hah with a thumbtack
playing sad sad music
and smoking lots
thought those cigarettes looked too cool
now I look straight back at a stone fool
once I surfed the channels
now I surf the net
you can waste your time so many ways
look back you wasted a thousand days
and when I kick it in the head
I won't miss nothing I bet
you'd get just as much from a blank screen
think I've known that since I was sixteen
If I never see you all again
it'll be too soon
this is the kiss off
let me show you the tune
You're just a pack of dumb trouble
and your welcome's stale
time to throw you out
like yesterday's mail

what

Friday, August 25, 2017

2.1940 : 8/25/10 : Safety

Just for safety
I'm going to go over the world
with a fine tooth comb
make sure I didn't miss
a whisper of your call
maybe a faint sad refrain on an old trombone
been pretty good at the safe and sorry
I guess I need a strategy
called not doing crazy stupid things again
thinking
this time it will turn out
differently for me

what

Thursday, August 24, 2017

2.1939 : 8/24/10 : That Day

That day isn't going to come
is it you big none
This day is it
over and again
opportunities grown dim
If this is it
I'm not cool with that
I've got no tricks
under my hat
put it away
for another day
nothing left to say
and my beast barely at bay

what

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

2.1938 : 8/23/10 : Great and Small

Great and small
well, maybe not the smallest
walking tall
but you'll never be the tallest
so if I go
just to check the sell-out line
don't make a fuss anyway
nobody's buying what's mine
Who am I fooling
well surely not yours truly
maybe I'm just pining
for a little fooly cooly
but though I feel like I've been getting
crowded right up to the wall
I'll still stand and say my piece
for the great and the small

what

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

2.1937 : 8/22/10 : Guests

Little guests I do not like you
so you have got to go
some said to take a natural route
but I said no no no
better living through chemistry
I'll give you a taste of that
a nasty dose of chemistry
little guests you're up to bat
I guess it's been that kind of year
one damn thing after another
I'm hoping for a better one
no guests, nor any other
crazy circumstances or deviltry
come one please a little peace
normal boring sounds real great
and smash the little guests' lease

what

Monday, August 21, 2017

2.1936 : 8/21/10 : Thirsty

So thirsty
so very late
certain that the problem
will not dissipate
but in a day or three
might get a little relief
pray till then the master
does not steal in like a thief

what

Sunday, August 20, 2017

2.1935 : 8/20/10 : the Hero

The hero awakes before the alarm
so gung ho for the the working
the hero jumps right out of bed
not a shadow of doubt is lurking
so efficient, so damn focused
it's like he's living every day twice
so informed, so very certain
he doesn't need a speck of advice
used to imagine I would be that
used to be sure I was one
all the little things that make a little life
I can't even get that done
The hero stays up all night
because his light burns bright not dim
I guess I'm still attached to going my own way
and really I am glad I'm not him

what

Saturday, August 19, 2017

2.1934 : 8/19/10 : Dismay

Why waste your time on dismay?
But the questions persist
and the questions insist
and it's been a long stretch
I haven't felt any closer day by day
The dismay tells me
I'm doing it wrong
and though I trace it in song
there is some strong way
that I simply am not free
the anger that flashes
the depression that sinks
is a man what he thinks
or just the transient spiral
as he stirs up the ashes
I listen to the song my gut sings
troubled and roiling
avoiding or toiling
and nothing but tomorrow
the joy, the dismay
that it brings

what

Friday, August 18, 2017

2.1933 : 8/18/10 : Exhausted

I fear I have exhausted
this particular well
I know it's not exactly true
today it's the tale I've got to tell
something's got to change
there's got to be a better way
and this is not leading to that
and I'm exhausted, anyway

what

Thursday, August 17, 2017

2.1932 : 8/17/10 : Ants

Like ants that work all through the night
labor to consume a poison bite
but I can no more burn that oil
another hour I cease my toil
A metaphor to make your skin crawl
become an ant to have it all
but nothing in that state possess
except to give the all-one its yes
fear we are not built for it
running on greed and guilt and shit
like that the dimwit metaphysics
run like wired up paralytics
just a daydream that I had
a different way though it seems sad
we can't reclaim our roles as giants
guess we'll leave it all to the ants

what

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

2.1931 : 8/16/10 : The Continuity

Is there anything left driving this
besides the continuity
am I still letting dumbass
optimistic daydreams screw with me
I don't see myself
debuting this one on the stage
I don't see much I'm
optimistic about in this new age
Up from the oh's and on
into the tweens and teens
I fear a nasty adolescence
is imprinted in this century's genes
maybe the symbol that I
cling to like a holy grail
if I prop up my sad continuity
maybe the system will not fail

what

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

2.1930 : 8/15/10 : Butterfly Wing

If I could travel in time
it's tempting in a way
What I could find to fix
but that's the old cliché
In almost any day
the butterfly wing
If I can't keep it all
I guess I wouldn't change anything

what

Monday, August 14, 2017

2.1929 : 8/14/10 : This is Why

This is why persist:
because to persist is human
feel it in you blood and humors
bile and albumen
there is an ending
and it brooks no dispute
what is there in the face of it
except to be resolute
this is why we ask
because the questions haunt us
so we must be restless, eager
in the face of fears that daunt us
if you are reading, writing
that end hasn't happened yet
so you must persist in this
because there is no other outlet
another day
another try at starting
persistent but with no illusions
this is wisdom I'm imparting

what

Sunday, August 13, 2017

2.1928 : 8/13/10 : Thirteen

Do I believe n the song of the day?
And here it took me thirteen years to say
Yes I believe but I
don't know what it means
is it a choice I made or
something buried in my genes
God hit it over the head
with a shovel
drove it to the middle of a field
in the middle of the night
and buried it desperately
feverishly in the glare
of the headlights
and who died and made me the cops
the detective supposed to
follow the elusive trail
track it down
air it out
and dress it up like a holy grail
Who am I to
believe in anything
a nobody but still
butter fed and soft
but I have to believe in myself
nothing else is going to
keep this strange balloon aloft

what

Saturday, August 12, 2017

2.1927 : 8/12/10 : Dikes

Dikes are failing
right and left
and I don't know what's next
lately I don't
have the energy
to even get perplexed
And I don't have
the wherewithal
to try and plug a hole
I'm just trying to
locate the smoke
to track down my burning coal

what

Friday, August 11, 2017

2.1926 : 8/11/10 : Stone

If I can't let my grip up
on the obdurate stone
I've got a real bad feeling I am
going to hit that wall alone
I haven't got a ritual no more
I'm in free fall
and though it's self-fulfilling
I keep thinking of that wall
seems a whole big lot of people
see it going bad to worse
seems we're all feeling that feeling
getting passed by by the hearse
and the duty that is calling
feels like running to stand still
as I watch my restless scramble
trying to gather up my will

what

Thursday, August 10, 2017

2.1925 : 8/10/10 : Painkillers

Waiting for the painkillers
to kick in
waiting for the smooth ride
to begin
Good to take the edge off
it's okay
I've been good and it's been
a hard day
try to puzzle out the
riddle of pain
Does it prove god's a
delusion in my brain
is it just part of
a complete life
should I get a little more
at the tip of a knife
Well tonight I needn't
be so bold
if these old painkillers
just take hold
rock me to a deep and
silent sleep
pray to the God of pain
my whole to keep

what


Wednesday, August 09, 2017

2.1924 : 8/9/10 : Secret Worlds

These secret worlds that swallow me
aren't even cool
plagued by petty phantoms
the kingdom of a fool
lead to petty vices
lead to wasted hours
running from the obvious
stopping to smell the plastic flowers

Looking for a breaking point
looking for a breaking peak
that shatters every secret world
and frees my frozen tongue to speak
the answer could be anything
but nothing seems to stick
could it be that after ten long years
I'm still not sick of being sick

what

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

2.1923 : 8/8/10 : Mr. Genius

Mr. Genius
what a slick idea
do the same thing as before
act as if this time it'll free ya
put aside the work now
put aside regret
whatever it comes down to
it's the best you're going to get
and always there's another
until someday there is none
it goes against the principle
shall I hope this is not the one

what

Monday, August 07, 2017

2.1922 : 8/7/10 : Sad Discovery

Sad discovery
sadder still it's no surprise
days have little failures
that meet newly opened eyes
days have bigger failures
Unseen and coming down
appear and seem predictable
and here's the little frown
don't worry about tomorrow
you'd say that is the theme
can I get away with it tonight
and hope for nothing in a dream

what

Sunday, August 06, 2017

2.1921 : 8/6/10 : Disconnect

Trying to repair
the disconnect
between thought and expression
if you'll allow the paid respect
feeling disconnected
want to plug back in
hope the worries and cares
don't haul another stack in
hard to change gears
especially in these days
all the adversity
smears into one haze
but time will not stop
and free moments are few
think I'll take my chance at rest
and then wait for you

what

Saturday, August 05, 2017

2.1920 : 8/5/10 : Nice Work (If You Can Get It)

A joker and an artist
got an apartment in the sticks
played games and scribbled comics
I guess it beats throwing bricks
Now they've got a little empire
courtly soirées and a teevee show
making the circuit and doing good works
and still it just seems to grow
nice work if you can get it
nice story wish it were mine
nice work if you can get it
yeah I think it would suit me fine

what

put on your flaming hat

The inaccurately named "Enough" finds us at the end of Songs of Days volume 2.11, Black n' Red. Forthwith we march on to volume 2.12, Nice Work.

what

Friday, August 04, 2017

2.1919 : 8/4/10 : Enough

Enough and there will
be no ceremony
I want a million dollars
I want a fucking pony
I want my youth back
I want my health
and mastery and power
and time and wealth
enough there are you
done whining now
you look so stupid there
you stupid pining cow
enough of loving sloth
enough of crazy shouting
put on your flaming hat
let's off for a special outing
please just ignore it all
it's just me acting tough
and trying to get at least one thing right
I guess that has to be enough

what

Thursday, August 03, 2017

2.1918 : 8/3/10 : As for What I Am

And as for what I am
what shall I say and
what am I to tell
Some days it seems you've
woken from a long and
dreamless magic spell
to look around
bewildered wondering
just how it came to be
yet all the history is
there and you are there
as well and me
yes what of me
I haven't said much
thinking of the likes of great men
wondering if there's any
future like that
at all waiting for my pen

what

Wednesday, August 02, 2017

2.1917 : 8/2/10 : How Early

How early might the rise be
how late the night
if I made a little chart today
I might start getting it right
Hard not to imagine
every terrible road
and that since nothing can stay still
something is bound to explode
I know there's gotta be a better way
but I don't know what it looks likes
When I feel like I'm on the downhill
when I feel like I'm on the third strike
I saw the looks of sad contempt
well they don't understand
we just can't ever do things halfway
here in the good old promised land

what

Tuesday, August 01, 2017

2.1916 : 8/1/10 : Knock Out

Knock another sucker challenger
out with one punch
hope it bored you to the core
and now I'm going to eat your lunch
I don't care about nothing
but the counter's click
running up my numbers
I'm that kind of sick
Did you stumble to your feet
for another round?
almost feel bad knocking you
over with the big sound
I'll see you swept right up
with yesterday's trash
while I'm shining up my knuckles
Cause my shit's so cash

what

Monday, July 31, 2017

2.1915 : 7/31/10 : Cheated

If you think you feel cheated
hey think about me
and if it gets repeated
well I guess it just will be

what

Sunday, July 30, 2017

2.1914 : 7/30/10 : Or Get the Fuck Out

Answer now
answer now
or get the fuck out
will you deliver
or get the fuck out
You got got your gospel plow
Oh get the fuck out
but can you cross the river
bro get the fuck out
will you show me your reasons
get the fuck out
why it's all such a chore
hey get the fuck out
at the mercy of seasons
that get the fuck out
and swing like a great door
while I get the fuck out

what

Saturday, July 29, 2017

2.1913 : 7/29/10 : Month

Barely aware as the
moon swells and shrinks
barely believe
a man's not what he thinks
but the thinking just so
has got something to do with it
whether he founders
or follows right through with it
thirty days
thirty one
not very scientific, son
some anniversary
that doesn't mean a thing
gone to weeds
all the ground
I try to hear the surf pound
two thousand miles away
to the month's mistress they sing

what

Friday, July 28, 2017

2.1912 : 7/28/10 : Backed Up Against

Backed up against
the ever present fence
doubting my capacity
and surely my sagacity
poor lolling vacant mind
pretend the tide is turning
and those days are already behind

what

Thursday, July 27, 2017

2.1911 : 7/27/10 : Revision

Revision and remission and
the fusion of the vision
that could make the disparate parts
all sing out with the same commission
And where I once craved total peace
I've gone for plainer fare
And if you would see the land Revision
It happens I can take you there
Injunction and induction and
the restless forms of function
and the nights I lost unwinding
in the old absurd reduction
you can't pick it apart
though you might pick any point
the unraveling all ravels up again
articulate, all moving joints

what

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

2.1910 : 7/26/10 : Mr. Stupid

Mr. Stupid wants to be optimistic
but he's working with real bad material
Mr. Stupid gets worried by the smallest stuff
but the problems are a scale imperial
Mr. Stupid is glad that the missus
decided to keep her maiden name
because she doesn't deserve the title
because she doesn't play that stupid game
Mr. Stupid knows perfectly well
that this stupid night is a stupid dodge
a putting off of something inevitable
having to deal with the stupid messy hodgepodge
Maybe on some day not too distant
he'll get to once again feel like Mr. Smart
he can't quite give up though it's tempting
he has to pretend this is a stupid start

what

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

2.1909 : 7/25/10 : Prism

Refracted through the prism
I captured what I could
I lived the vital moment
I did what what I thought I should
It hurts to know it's partial
we only capture some
but I do it fully conscious
and am not deaf or dumb

what

Monday, July 24, 2017

2.1908 : 7/24/10 : Capture

I have to capture
the moment that occurs
and if it is messy
and hard to record
that is just the real
and in this moment
I truly feel
if you have to interpret
it is not so bad
the moment occurred
and I was glad

what

Sunday, July 23, 2017

2.1907 : 7/23/10 : Unfair

Unfair I say and I refuse
to be ruled over and
run around by arbitrary rules
and cruel imaginings
and stupid phantom thoughts
Move along these are not
the paranoids you sought
I need a better system
but for now I'll just cheat
at a contest no one cares about
where there's nobody else to beat
and I suppose if I'm the only one
who cares about this grind of mine
it's all the more a reason
that I have to walk that line

what

Saturday, July 22, 2017

2.1906 : 7/22/10 : Stellar

No thank you I refuse to sing that
no matter how true it is
or how much sense it makes
Let me tell you a lie about joy
and adventure around the corner
and a wild bet paying crazy stakes
Let me tell you a lie about change
it took exactly one day and
it stayed that way forever
there were no backslides and
there were no concessions
and it was just as easy as pulling a lever
feeling great and every day getting better
started out stratospheric
now you'd have to call it stellar
Yeah I'll sing that it couldn't hurt
any worse than another session in the cellar

what

2.1905 : 7/21/10 : Trains

The warm sound of trains
Northeast side
I can dream all I want to
but I'll never take that ride
And I can't say I feel bad
I've got obligations
that firmly preclude
riding the crazy stations
what are dreams worth
are they worth a nickel?
I don't even want to try
to cut that pickle
still something has to change
well something always does
and it pans out in its own way
just like it always does

what

2.1904 : 7/20/10 : Sufficient

What is sufficient?
I really need to know
So that I can prosper
So that I can grow
I guess things have been moving
but my God it's slow
will I figure out a damn thing
before I go
truly what's sufficient?
I must figure it out
why I'm still around here
what that fact's about
I'm trying to stay positive
trying not to pout
I fear the army's massing
and it's going to be a rout

what

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

2.1903 : 7/19/10 : Crash Come

If we all gave up
how much faster would the crash come
what if i just gave up
fixed my eyes on the cash and grabbed some.
maybe I'm just afraid
what if I sold out but no one was buying
back to being good but it doesn't matter
Christ what is the point of
Whatever you might think
the crash is not a delusion
though what it means nobody's sure
and its way is made straight by your confusion
if it feels inevitable
why do I have to toil toil in futile resistance
is it the off chance or some  principle?
I've still got no measure of the point
of persistence

what

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

2.1902 : 7/18/10 : Every Night

Find there's how it goes
the same way every night
there's how you get the
feeling nothing's going right
and if you think you'll find
the answer in a minute's work
in a few random scribbles
wait until you feel that jerk
the strand that snaps you
back into reality
And now you see it: the same old night
and every night you see
a little vision but it's
just not quite enough to deliver
that one swift kick
and so you settle for your sliver

what

Monday, July 17, 2017

2.1901 : 7/17/10 : Spirit Brother

I wonder if you saw me brother
my little shout hello
I wonder what your weather's like
could be rain or snow
sometimes it's nice not to
choose not to know so much
just that another brother's on the road
fill the world with songs, your special touch
I imagine my presence might offend you
I've been there if I might be so bold
I hope it's just my dumb mind again
hope you're better than me, not so cold
I sing a song for my spirit brother
really we are on the same side
maybe someday we will share a glass
raise a toast to the long strange ride

what

Sunday, July 16, 2017

2.1900 : 7/16/10 : What if Nothing Happens

What if nothing happens for a reason
what you did before was simply wrong
or you were born unlucky out of season
born to false turns, singing the wrong song
If there's no plan, is that freeing
no more preconceptions, right
no fate to be chasing or fleeing
nothing but me in the long night
I keep looking for the middle
cliché land between my brain and heart
such a dullard's pain, yeah life's a riddle
and I mostly stall before I start
Maybe nothing's really worse or better
Always just been same old ebb and swell
Maybe I could knock off one last fetter
And hey presto all is well

what

Saturday, July 15, 2017

2.1899 : 7/15/10 : Shame

It seems a shame, to be
stuck in this foolish loop
feeling hard pressed to help it
feeling mired in the soup
the little things are piling
and I it seems unequal
don't think that I can afford
to wait out for the sequel
I don't have a plot to pick up
I'm right down to scratch
I've felt cornered many times
but still this is one rough patch
but it isn't going to help me
to settle down at shame
I guess I have to try to believe
stand at least behind my name

what

Friday, July 14, 2017

2.1898 : 7/14/10 : It Still Sickens You

It still sickens you to see
each way we've failed
in the land of the free
what the news doesn't say
is almost as bad as what it does
and maybe worse some days
your prognostications were mainly true
You usually got things right
but you sure didn't hint what would happen to you
I guess it's likely you didn't know
there was always a lot of smoke with you
and you'd hinted you might up and go
I sort of hope you're someplace far
reinvented, sharp again
the better aspect, acerbic and bizarre

what