Tuesday, January 31, 2017

2.1734 : 1/31/10 : Ego

If it's not about ego
then what drives ambition
I posed that to the queen
but to me she won't listen
sister's young enough to be my little sister
if you see her say
in another life I missed her
Everyone of us has got ego
and you know you know oh hoh
Yeah you know
a hard enough bite
will chase a little away
It'll all be back at you
another day


Monday, January 30, 2017

2.1733 : 1/30/10 : Ascent

Ascent too slow
trying to keep the blood from
a hard road
doing nothing and that's toiling
rising through
strata of aching pain
hope to God not to ascend
to the same old thing again


Sunday, January 29, 2017

2.1732 : 1/29/10 : Spikes

Some spikes go
right down
through the
I should be
something but
it's so hard
to hear
over the
the burning
the creak
of sinews bone
and muscles
that suddenly


Saturday, January 28, 2017

2.1731 : 1/28/10 : Black and Red and White

Black and red and white all over
I need a ton of white out to cover up the past
Not a good day, not a nice date
Not the imagined and glorious repast
There's no covering the errors that were
much less those to come
yet it seems the days stretch forth
Yes it seems I've still got some
I can't apologize so I will just hope
to find tomorrow what I could not today
and if it comes and I hope it comes
oh I will say thank you
I will say hooray


Friday, January 27, 2017

2.1730 : 1/27/10 : Guardian

Playing the guardian but
feeling so much more helpless than I thought
And feelings aren't even worth
considering and all the while I sought
Some little corner for myself
where I could just curl up and dream
a world where I've still got the touch and
things are not so much what they seem
am I shirking my job as the guardian
as I try to fix what's falling apart
my demon says there's always more to come
my angel says anything's a start
and a Power I don't trust has to be in charge
of guarding everything I can't
pray despite myself for protection
pray You don't accidentally smash this little ant


Thursday, January 26, 2017

2.1729 : 1/26/10 : Deep

Everything's so deep
you can't even see if anything
is at the bottom of it all
is worth the ruthless harrowing
what am I thinking of
how on earth to continue or stop
the dream always comes to the same
calamitous and unseen drop
and the falling that comes
is into an unreal deep
for this I run to secret worlds
for this I flee from sleep


Wednesday, January 25, 2017

2.1728 : 1/25/10 : Useful Information

So much useful information
at your fingers who can sleep
who can work who can get it on
I guess it'll all have to keep
I've got no idols no mentors
though I can't say I'm alone
but I work all day with the information
and nobody ever calls me on the phone
oh who can sleep
who can work who can get it on
I guess you could try to stuff
all the information into a song
if I pulled the plug on the information
tried to put my faith in my intuition
if I planted every seed I laid hands on
who knows what would come to fruition?


working things out on paper

So ends A Song a Day volume 2.10, Notebook 23.

The recollection of volume 2.11, Black n' Red, commences without hesitation.


Tuesday, January 24, 2017

2.1727 : 1/24/10 : Ache

I'm getting better
but there's still this ache
however perfect yesterday
there's always the next mistake
so if I seem to e
spinning my wheels all day
I am just killing time
vainly trying to wish the ache away
guess I could take a pill
or see some sort of doctor
where is fortuna now
my muse crept up and clocked her
I'll make my own luck now
and just ignore its singing
trick out my new show pony
now take what I am bringing


Monday, January 23, 2017

2.1726 : 1/23/10 : All the Angles

It is apparent from all the angles
that I am full of it
and soon will receive my reward
I am guilty of the
unbelievable crime
of coveting treasure
where treasure's stored
I am guilty of wanting solitude
I am guilty of
wanting the long goodbye
and I know it is pathetic
and I know
I am being that guy
but all the angles
have baffled
my dazzled sight
and now I'm fighting
a duller battle
try like hell not to
stay up all night


Sunday, January 22, 2017

2.1725 : 1/22/10 : Convention

Try hard to break with convention
find I shake at just the mention
of things I said I was stronger than
the dumb lack of a longer plan
I only want to loosen up
believe in the o'erflowing cup
the way things are it seems more awful
Who dies while I stuff my craw full
my lines plod like an organ's grind
and always too much in my mind
it's my convention to dwell on it
I'd love to wale like hell on wit
and rhetoric slogans and cant
but my own concrete hightops daunt
and I succumb to one last turn
convention's wheel: I pull the lynch pin


Saturday, January 21, 2017

2.1724 : 1/21/10 : Feeling the Edge

Feeling the edge again
wanting just a little more
and a moment longer
haven't I learned anything
haven't I grown even a little stronger
I suppose I know what I've ever known
it's all up to me
but who does it come down to that it
feels so unsatisfactory
you know the feeling when
all you're arguing with is you
and there's nothing left to say about it
but to figure out just what you're going to do


Friday, January 20, 2017

2.1723 : 1/20/10 : Pessimism

Had to feel good about
being the most popular pessimist
I'd be much better off
to ignore but I can't resist
but things must really endure
because the tide's not going to wait
and it will sweep you into chaos
in a moment if you hesitate
We've pulled it off before
I guess we could one last
the long term doesn't look so hot
but by then my time will be past
and if I think of something
better I will write a book
but I wouldn't lay a bet on that
so kindly let me off the hook


Thursday, January 19, 2017

2.1722 : 1/19/10 : Daze

In a daze from
failure extreme
I rose as if
from a dream
and found what
crumbs were left
to salvage
from the treble clef
I can hardly justify
a claim
I'll do better in tomorrow's name
too many irons
so little time
but turning inward at this point
is sure no crime


Wednesday, January 18, 2017

2.1721 : 1/18/10 : What Belongs in the Box

What belongs in the box tonight?
Tonight for sure in the box
Representing another another and another
representing the bullshit walks
What will be interred in the box tonight
the obvious breakdown of literal truth
try hard to explain myself
my glib responses come out uncouth
You and me in the box tonight
now just me functionally alone
There will be no further discourse there
there will be no call on the phone
in a very little while
the box will be neatly in the trash
perhaps to be exhumed someday
long after there's no longer
a trace of any splash


Tuesday, January 17, 2017

2.1720 : 1/17/10 : A Moment

I must make a moment
of this moment
here and now
a story that I'll try
to tell truthfully
Someday, somehow
but not tonight
that tale must be for later
just a moment
here and now I
still must be the instigator
So long I tried to say goodbye
to the secret world
while my thoughts
modeled the cosmos
as it slowly slowly whirled
around some hypothetical
a point just in my mind
I don't know this feeling
growing within
I can only hope it's kind
the day will come
to revisit it all
when all my resolutions falter
when I fell I'm up against
a wall
a moment just a moment
that will come
I'll remember it just fine
and call it mine
and then play dumb


Monday, January 16, 2017

2.1719 : 1/16/10 : Golden

golden that's how I feel
so sweet
and hey what will be
will be
Things are not so different now
I've made a bed
And I'm dying to sleep in it


Sunday, January 15, 2017

2.1718 : 1/15/10 : Too Quiet

Too long too slow too quiet
Today nothing to say just slow and tired
enough to just set must aside
today I'm not too thrilled about the ride


Saturday, January 14, 2017

2.1717 : 1/14/10 : End All War (2)

If I can't sing a song strong enough
to end all war then what am I good for
If I can't sing a song strong enough
to end all war then what am I good for
what am I good for what am I good for
everything we pour down the war tube
and what grinds out is predictable
and how it pays is despicable
I can't help feeling despite all my reeling that
I never did enough to stop it the ball and how we drop it
the ball and how we drop it
the ball and how we drop it
And if I can't sign a song strong enough
to end all war then what am I good for
What am I good for?
What am I good for?
What am I good for?


Friday, January 13, 2017

2.1716 : 1/13/10 : What the FXck

It ain't gonna get any better is it
too late to go wild
too big to fail
I guess I'm going to miss it
too many times
I've no stomach to fake confidence
or act as if
I've got it figured out
when in every sense
I'm on the fence
So what the fuck then
why say another word
When everything is in the air
get this: so little
though I may have hope
stone tragically
I still care


Thursday, January 12, 2017

2.1715 : 1/12/10 : Grand Master

Lucky star come round again
for the grand master
pray to God it don't take up 40 years
to clear this small disaster
put into perspective not many
have much cause to complain
but then again, then again
we all feel pain
25 years on the streets of New York
you have to wonder how a man survives
from the bomb to the camp through
the towers fall
must be he really has 9 lives
to needs so very little to live
a little pencil and paint and pen
and I am reeling in my lack
what's holding me back again
all I can do is push through
maybe someday find my own broadcaster
hope I'm better by then
hope I'm a grand master


Wednesday, January 11, 2017

2.1714 : 1/11/10 : The Con

I've got a feeling I'm
still somewhere in the
middle of the long con
I can't figure out who's
grifting who
and I'm sure no paragon
just once just once
let me end
the rules only I'm to blame for
I dream of where it all comes
but get more or less what I came for


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

2.1713 : 1/10/10 : Resolution

I try to cultivate the resolute
in the midst of long goodbyes
and seeming craps shoots
and memories of lost opportunities
can't get them back
but you can battle the disease
of sliding scales
and shifting goals
and restlessly bouncing between the poles
of resolution and
quick fix backsliding
in a year who knows I could be gliding
high above a decade of
lukewarm conceit
to nail even one factor
would be very neat
I think it best gets
left at that
to seek my resolution
and hang up that hat


Monday, January 09, 2017

2.1712 : 1/9/10 : Elusive

The teacher is elusive
and the theory I am told
is it means I am not ready
well if I may be so bold
that's pretty damn convenient
for the one who's meant to teach
why not spend another year or five
reclining on the beach
oh I guess you are not ready yet
otherwise I'd be there
guess you need a little time to stew
I meant to say to prepare
I am ready damn your eyes
I am ready now for years
to hell with you and your excuses
call me when that creep appears


Sunday, January 08, 2017

2.1711 : 1/8/10 : That Transcends

No passion or hope for
a moment that transcends tonight
do it now do it fast
about the same chance it seems to get it right
maybe I'll be an old man someday
looking back at it all
but it's so hard to imagine
I'll be on the other side of this wall
Maybe there's no such thing
as a human truth that transcends
every thing we build falls
every empire we've started, ends
but oh lucky me I don't
really have to rise above
do my best right now
no genius but a little bit of love


2.1710 : 1/7/10 : Hard

Nothing was coming easy
it was all going hard
times were tough as nails
for any independent bard
run out of passion
for all but the meanest vices
and knowing far within
that I would hate to pay their prices
it'll be better soon
is it a prayer or wishful thinking
it'll be better soon
not for staying up or drinking
What can we do with hard times
but wait the bastards out
it was all that I could do
that night just to suspend my doubt


Friday, January 06, 2017

2.1709 : 1/6/10 : Windows

Barely bearable half hour
to watch and listen to a dead friend's voice
and see the lovely view
he had from his Icelandic windows
and be glad for that, at least
Too alone another night
and wishing i could speak
face to face one last time
wishing it could be many times,
any times
but there's no one to speak to
and no windows in this room


Thursday, January 05, 2017

2.1708 : 1/5/10 : Four Winds

Four winds if failure
From every side
There was no repair I had
to let the whole thing slide


Wednesday, January 04, 2017

2.1707 : 1/4/10 : Cusp

on the cusp
no longer breaking rules
not by any fine dominion
just the moment's glistening jewels
the strange origin of epiphany
it was there so plain to see
tearing down all false
and compromised
and her in a
on true day
a true song
was comprised


Tuesday, January 03, 2017

2.1706 : 1/3/10 : Grind

I'd call it a grind indeed
Grindstone's what we carry on our backs
in a bowl of scouring need
one day we'll be fine enough to fall through the cracks
is it all in clean living doc?
jumping jacks and wheat grass juice
punching one after another clock
eschewing whats good for the goose
I want my little vices so much now
I want my little comfort fetish
known it won't take its final bow
Still I dream of it with what seems relish
maybe it's the same just every time
maybe there's just no dodging the grind
maybe every little slide is not a crime
maybe its really all just in my mind


Monday, January 02, 2017

2.1705 : 1/2/10 : Bow

Barely made one choice today
to late too fake anyway
but I've got one for you now:
forget it take the bow
Not a thing to recommend this decade
we saw the really ugly side of the parade
guess who's paying all us regular slumps
born for fodder, the aristos' chumps
getting old fashioned back to that old schtick
watch the sad spectacle, trying to learn a new trick
Guess that bow better be over, get me gone
grim but I suppose another will soon be along


Sunday, January 01, 2017

2.1704 : 1/1/10 : A First

I hoped that I'd get better soon
and ten years flew by
another big digit
early riser say your goodbye
a few more nails to pound in
another rough verse to
drive the Big Sound in
but some things don't change
baby it's still you and me
against the world and now
a little man makes three
perfect union a fine paradise
when it's hard it's brutal
but oh sometimes so nice
dozens of days and yet
I slot right back in
could it be by God
today I'm truly ready to begin
cliches don't scare me
I'm full fit to burst
nothing's ever perfect
but I'll call this a first