Monday, October 31, 2016

2..1642 : 10/31/09 : Wasteland

An inch long and a thousand legs what on earth drove you forth
From whatever crack you called home until tonight
And I towered over you a failed flawed and capricious god
And observed dispassionately your hapless plight
And I said it’s been a long hard road you’re on: you didn’t hear me
or maybe you did, but didn’t understand being you’re a brainless invertebrate
And these 35 feet I pace late at night are a wasteland to you
and if the cat doesn’t kill you and you get across, will it improve your state?
And I pulled up short three times so as not to tread on you
what a fool what a fool what a foolish dumb sentiment
as your clockwork ticks you across the wide wasteland
surely I could remove you from the world without detriment
the trouble with the time travel theory that time travel is bad
because treading on a single bug could change it all
is that it assumes that things as they are are ideal
or at least saving because who knows, the coward’s stall
But anyway I let you go to inch your way across
I hope you looking down on me will give me as good
And if you never look down and see the world beneath your feet
transformed into a wasteland; try it once because you should


Sunday, October 30, 2016

2.1641 : 10/30/09 : Bulge

Push one thing down another swells up
battle of the bulge and the steady state
with one battle up comes another
no option but to choose not to participate
no different than the rest all soldiers no generals
no orders no instructions no maps
no radios no high command to call
just this dumb rolling ball fighting over the scraps
throw another book into the void screaming hole
Throw another handful of pocket change
spend another night listening to doom prophets
and another and another and another will be arranged
come sweet silence a little for a little while
war and chaos will roll over again
and to hope for any truce is a weakness I cannot indulge


Saturday, October 29, 2016

2.1640 : 10/29/30 : Wire Again

Now the wire again
nobody left to impress
nothing but to fill a little time
I could hardly claim distress
Head is pounding like the surf
not even a bender to show for it
just routine disease again
scarcely the energy to go for it
for heaven’s sake stop any time
I’ve got such great excuses
they shame me in the daylight hours
but surely have their uses
I won’t work it out again
tonight the wire will jerk me back
I should be grateful for the chance
to stand off from grim attack


Friday, October 28, 2016

2.1639 : 10/28/09 : Litany

A litany of small regrets of health complaints
of money woes and and working gripes
You must be as sick of it as me
Measuring hours with coffee drinks bought with plastic swipes
No poet, no artist no singer at all
a shuffler in a little church choir
strictly small potatoes unremarkable
toiling blandly at the end of the wire
a litany of false humility and false heart
filled with sputtering short circuited pride
Been in the sand box a long time now
Since I fell out of the ride
I don’t believe in what I hope for
I don’t see anything when I look ahead
So I worry about my health and the government
try not to think too much about how I’ve made this bed


Thursday, October 27, 2016

2.1638 : 10/27/09 : The Early Riser

Maybe there’s still a little edge
left for the early riser
It’s going to be just hard as hell
but I might yet surprise her
I don’t want to think about
all of the things I’ve signed on for
right now it’s a steep request
to get on my feet on the floor
I can say never never I
can say never again the last
Oh I’ve got so so many
memories like that all stretching past
and I am not impressed at all
that I am still persisting
It sure seems there is some simple
path upwards that I am still resisting


2.1637 : 10/26/09 : A.F.L.

A stands for another F is bombing
L a word that rhymes with pissed
I can’t believe I’m trying to get through this again
take my pad and pen it’s all in the wrist
Like I don’t know what I need anyway
It’s just that I tend to forget
And as I don’t see you searching over hill and dale
to track down your poor lost pet
I guess I’ll try to get organized
and do for myself once again
Maybe then you’ll help me out
I heard it worked that way from my friend Ben
And if a little piece paper doesn’t make me
change my ways well then I guess I lose
At least if it’s all written down
I’ll remember that I had to choose


Tuesday, October 25, 2016

2.1636 : 10/25/09 : All Perfume

What if I said yes to everything
yes and to you yes and yes to you too
unimaginable impossible some fool’s dream
It can never work yes all would turn from you
yes it is easy enough yes to imagine
your soft yes world would be all perfume
lI can barely navigate yes the world of no
if I said yes to everything howe could I presume
discernment is yes necessary yes
none can have it all can they
So I yes beg for a firmer no
pray to God to keep the beast at bay
but my mind’s yes eye yes just
doesn’t want to cooperate
and I see things yes I’d rather not
what is the point of a grasping state
of trying to hold on when nothing will do
want it all want it all you you you and you
I yes say yes no yes and yes
go yes on yes to my yes diminished day
there’s yes no way yes I can yes resolve
and that’s yes yes yes yes all I have to say


Monday, October 24, 2016

2.1635 : 10/24/09 : The Punches Roll You

4,192 : 7 ?

Sometimes the next thing you know
it all comes so fast
the next thing you know
your whole life is rolling past
You try to roll with it all
but you know it’s true
sometimes you roll with the punches
Sometimes the punches roll you
It doesn’t seem like you can get
a single minute of peace
it would be one thing if you were
chasing the golden fleece
But we’re just chasing the buck
and trying to hold on
and once you get rolling
next thing you know it’s gone
You try to roll with it all
but you know it’s true
Sometimes you roll with the punches
Sometimes the punches roll you


Sunday, October 23, 2016

2.1634 : 10/23/09 : Only Game

I’m not proud so I play the
only game the only game in town
I will not disdain to play the only game
if that’s what claims renown
Play it badly play it well
with so much confusion who can tell
Still the game goes on and on and on
So hey today - ha! Yet another song
one day it may get old I may get exasperated
I hope to hell that purgatory is pro-rated
cause I’ve done a little time on this ball
and I don’t think I deserve a full sentence
at all
And that’s got nothing to do with why I stick around
no fears of dreams to come keep my feet on the ground
I play the game cause it’s there and I’m ready
better not blink my hands are so steady
another mile another fine rotation
broadcasting the signal from my secret station
that’s easy to find for anyone at all
if I keep playing the game
maybe someday the curtain will fall


Saturday, October 22, 2016

2.1633 : 10/22/09 : Stupid Game

Sure as hell I got to get out
of that stupid game
big talkers and I’m far too old
to play it the same
You can call it sour grapes
or say I took my ball home
like that but I won’t
push that one through your dome
but should I blame you for being
young and arrogant
One day you’ll be old and wise like me
maybe give up the game maybe then you’ll see
the hard and polemic will never concur
there’s a place somewhere for those unsure
I’m in a minority I don’t claim to know
what the hell’s going on
or who runs the show


Friday, October 21, 2016

2.1632 : 10/21/09 : Head Game

What do you think of the
head game son
I been through it confused
why you find it fun
but you really
seem to though you need much help
so many questions
crazy little whelp
hell I’m tired
hell my teeth hurt
it beats meta-reference
but it won’t buy me a shirt
and neither will head games
or daydreams either
so I stumble along
badly in need of a breather


Thursday, October 20, 2016

2.1631 : 10/20/09 Statistics

The statistics say packing heat will kill you
but you won’t change a thing boy will you
the statistics say I’m wasting my time
blathering about it while my jungle bells chime
and I’m a statistical creature nothing but
on the same bell curve again what the what
I’ve got correlation but I don’t get cause
and much as I hate to let the answer
slip through my paws
I better bow to the statistics and give up
the bar is so high and I’m failing so bad
to live up


Wednesday, October 19, 2016

2.1630 : 10/19/09 : Recreation

You know no one will write no one will call
no one will ask about the recreation
I’m getting used to it I hate to sound
like such a sorry shit
but truth be told this is my situation
I’m trying to build something new from scratch
and it’s a long haul and nobody is paying attention
at least as far as I can know
if they were you’d think they’d say something though
Occam’s razor has an explanation for zero mention
oh and will the recreation even matter
or will I just let it slide
I’ve done plenty of that yeah
and you know if it falls flat
there’ll be just another plain marker
where another idea died


Tuesday, October 18, 2016

2.1629 : 10/18/09 : Hello World

Oh yes hello
so predictable
Had some thoughts I didn’t care for
and I don’t want to tell them
to anyone at all
I don’t need to tell at all
maybe that proves it
isn’t serious
and anyway it’s all gone
and here I bow
under the camera imperious


2.1628 : 10/17/09 : Prior

Prior to deciding whether
to crash and burn
it’s not duress exactly
or salvation I spurn
I don’t know how to describe it
some desire to drive a nail
with one damn blow
and no doubt doomed to fail
then again maybe it’s just
wanting to scratch an itch
dig in a little really
lean on that bitch
just a dummy
making dumb decisions
pushing consequences on tomorrow
subject to tonight’s revision
what a drag
what a tale of fools’ delights
how many more does it require
these foolish nights
I wish I had the number
wish I had it written out
I suppose that wishing’s just
more of what it’s all about


Sunday, October 16, 2016

2.1627 : 10/16/09 : Cross the Line

Today is the day I cross the line
wow it just happened
check out my spine
I could claim I was hired to work
it would be fair I’m exhausted
I try to fight through it while
on all sides I’m accosted
by dreams by work by progeny
start the countdown on some click
don’t have even a clue
of where this strange idea took hold
could probably use a walk
this gloomy gray doesn’t help me
get out wake up or get busy
and just keep crossing and crossing the line
and it’s making me
quite dizzy


Saturday, October 15, 2016

2.1626 : 10/15/09 : Gorgeous

Give us back our gorgeous
dreams of tomorrow
instant everything and easy flight
this social rhetoric
and primitive explosives
Sure don’t match up to a dream of light
Is it an illusion I believe
that if we just dared to dream big enough
we’ll rise above this urge to war
and petty scarcity
and embrace experience over just more stuff
I suppose that I would have to
make myself a proof of concept
live a life glorious and gorgeous
it doesn’t seem so easy now
well no confess it doesn’t
but I can’t escape my portion is generous


Friday, October 14, 2016

2.1625 : 10/14/09 : Pattern Recognition

Why this brain’s supposedly so great
a point I tend to think you overrate
I guess it comes in handy
spotting the connections dandy
But in the valley where chaos reigns
it asks more questions than it ever explains
Pattern recognition
Won’t explain my grim position
Why isn’t it clearer or completely opaque
If I’m never going to make it will I always
have to fake
I recognize this pattern but
feel powerless to halt it
If I can’t blame my brain who can I blame
Still it feels wrong to fault it
Keep looking for the patterns
don’t you get discouraged
see long hours late of screwing off
hey maybe you should act your age
and I know recognizing it’s the easy part
scribing a new pattern is wholly the realm of art
but you’ve got to start where you are
if you hope to gin up a new avatar


Thursday, October 13, 2016

2.1624 : 10/13/09 : Passive Voice

What was done to me
What has happened to the world
the evil that was allowed to flourish
the stones that were hurled
in the glass houses that were built
by the figureheads selected
In the races that were bought and paid for
by the products that were selected
And it got called freedom
and it got called choice
until it went beyond endurance
and I yelled out in my passive voice


Wednesday, October 12, 2016

2.1623 : 10/12/09 : In the End

In the end
what perfect arrogance
tell me friend
how do you feel about dissonance
I feel fine fine fine
I’m ready for
an uglier day
I feel fine
bring it on it’ll be
different anyway
there will be no end
there will be no aftermath
just now and now and now
throw the best case out
with the worst case bath
and I guess I am so dense
I’ve got to learn it over endless
it could be worse it could be worse
I’m not stupid
and I’m not friendless


2.1622 : 10/11/09 : Stupid Moron

The stupid moron
inside of me
barks for poison
as he swings from the tree
of the fruit of knowledge
of stupid and smart
I no longer know what this is
but could it really be art?
How I hate you stupid moron
I’d like to force feed you
arsenic and boron
wouldn’t it be great to be free
the only problem is the stupid
moron is me
I keep saying I’ll
keep him in the box
the moment I doze off
the stupid moron talks
I’m afraid I’m going to
just have to learn
to live with him and try to
cope when it’s his turn


Sunday, October 09, 2016

2.1621 : 10/10/09 : Last Page of the Internet

Last page of the internet
they’re making robot bees
at Harvard
Maybe I should have
sent in an application
shift my whole history
hard to starboard
You have to cultivate
and attitude of no regrets
just to get along
maybe today I’ll do
one more thing right
than everything I got wrong
I am thankful
don’t get me wrong
but I think that you
must earn me back
I am standing up
I am asking so much more
but truly I am
not on the attack


2.1620 : 10/9/09 : Epic Fail

Failed to keep the promise
throw it on the pile
hour stretching endless
be here for a while
swallow brandy
reach for a feeling
knowing it is only
my own sleep I’m stealing
told myself I wouldn’t say
the same old same old
day after day
sounds familiar
looks beyond the pale
another document
of another epic fail


2.1619 : 10/8/09 : Stretch the Hour Until it Breaks

I’ll stretch the hour until it breaks
act willful, claim it’s all mistakes
hands aching with the cold
and feeling feeling old
Hard to bear to tell it straight
the night is cold the hour is late
halfway through this foolish swing
praying the mighty pendulum ends this thing


Friday, October 07, 2016

2.1618 : 10/7/09 : Germane

What’s relevant? what’s germane
If I jump through every hoop
just what will I gain
say riches won’t make you happy
but debt will make you sad
It’s a hell of a system
And I feel like I’ve been had
It’s really all my fault though
I confess I should have known
if you have to find someone to blame
it rests on me alone
try to figure out what is germane
and figure out what fits
hope those hoops don’t start spinning
chop me into bits


Thursday, October 06, 2016

2.1617 : 10/6/09 : Consistent

Try as I might I just can’t
seem to get it consistent
and the howling of my aging ego’s
getting more insistent
as I try to piece together
what the next phase is
don’t really want to talk about
it anymore but there it is
consistently falling short
consistently up too late
consistently glossing over
what maybe could be great
consistently backsliding
in habits old and new
just thank God I’m not a drinker
and that I’ve held onto you


Wednesday, October 05, 2016

2.1616 : 10/5/09 : Transcription

This is no new scripture
on golden plates
has it been a decade
casting pearls before the ingrates
transcribing history into
digital ether
I asked my muse to help out
She said it was beneath her
the scale of it defies
rational description
the big computer’s
universal transcription
destructive analysis
only information will survive
So enjoy all your sensations
while you’re supposedly alive
And I’ll make my map in miniature
my little track of the day
on the theory that the future
will need an awful lot to play


Tuesday, October 04, 2016

2.1615 : 10/4/09 : Insanity

I know doing it again is crazy crazy
Heaven knows I’ve tried to stop
Heaven knows I’ve killed myself
waiting up night after night
waiting for the other shoe to drop
It’s crazy and I have to
slog back even from here
illustrating the
definition of insanity
Learn from my mistakes
hell I don’t even learn from my
So typical,
oh the humanity


2.1614 : 10/3/09 : Blown Away

Nobody’s getting blown away
by this masterpiece
hoping for some stale shake
buried in the crease
hell it could be worse
I could be thinking that way
I’ve made a tiny bit of progress
with my feet of clay
Just thinking about it
washes me out with fatigue
thinking the whole damn world
is out of my league
I could be so much worse
a real monster true
but I’m just not enough
and I’m so sick of pushing through


Sunday, October 02, 2016

2.1613 : 10/2/09 : Lost Leaf

Leave of paper, leaves of tobac
leaves are turning yellow
So soon winter’s coming back
and I have lost
the thread of the leaf
that I collected
and I’ve scrambled all the
notes of the
experiment subjected


Saturday, October 01, 2016

2.1612 : 10/1/09 : Working Backwards

Working backwards to fix the error
this one went deep it hurts
after the flood the crash the terror
we’re lucky we still have our shirts
try not to look at those not so lucky
try not to hear the bell toll
thinking about all that makes me feel yucky
and I don’t want to stop I’m on a roll
It’s really happening today I’m unplugging
flushing 13 years of poor production
find out what happens if I really keep chugging
maybe at last I’ll find my damn function
it couldn’t get any dumber I hope
drop all thought of sunken cost and regret
pray to get just enough to cope
Well you haven’t heard the last of it I bet