Monday, September 30, 2013

2.880 : 9/30/07 : Just Play

I’m doing exactly what
I would be doing on my last day
on the last day
happy birthday
And still the future bears down
feeling up against it
but let’s just play
let’s just play
where else would I be
who else would I be with
And still I wonder
and still I worry
nothing’s as important
all the rest’s a myth
still I slack and
still I hurry
I’m doing exactly what
I would be doing on my last day
on the last day
Happy birthday


Sunday, September 29, 2013

2.879 : 9/29/07 : Food Chain

Everything that stops will start again
It’s part of nature so take heart my friend
But everything that starts must stop
So eat drink and be merry
while you’re at the food chain’s top
They say we’re damaging the natural balance
Like an electron striving out of its valence
But if they’re right its evolution’s fuck up
There but for the grace of Darwin so buck up
But if it’s God then what the fuck man?
Was evil just a way to get unstuck then?
Some devil on my shoulder keeps insisting
You made up Lucifer just to keep things interesting
A real good theory is that nothing matters
The law of entropy says it all scatters
in the end till it’s drawn back into a tight hot point
creation nails you up to the universal joint
and blows its stack straight back again
ignore it, hold your breath & count to ten


Saturday, September 28, 2013

2.878 : 9/28/07 : A Scythe

I dream a scythe to sweep through all
the meta, artifacts and thrall
It’s been too long it’s all the same
It’s still this still this still this game
If I could mix it up like a cocktail
and serve it glowing over ice
Would you consider this a derail
Would you think that it was nice?
It’s effortless enough so why do I complain
21st century born of an airplane
too much conflict shouting in my ear
I’ve had enough just get me out of here
If I made a bad gaffe would you forgive
remember where my heart was firmly staked
I got nothing left now and yet on I live
regardless how the premise is half-baked


Friday, September 27, 2013

2.877 : 9/27/07 : Cycle

I’m at the unholy mercy of the cycle
Going mano a mano with the angel Michael
Where the moving finger touches I collapse
blame it on conditioning; a faulty synapse
predictably down in the bowels of toil
alone without antagonist or a foil
no exposition there no chance at action
not much chance at all up against the faction
of rhetoricians and armchair pundits
how long ago did I exhaust the fun bits
these days I’m just in there to stay awake
and see what strange familiar form
the cycle will take


Thursday, September 26, 2013

2.876 : 9/26/07 : Diving after Poison

That ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-aah you hear
is me diving after the poison pill
ten years too late, but anyway
The pit I thought was bottomless
the rushing of ephemeris
and too much information
too long, didn’t read where’s your grand creation
to hell with Galileo
I’ll fall faster singing hey-oh!
And when I grasp it burning in my hand
I know that it will be enough
and I will understand
And fly back to the light!


Wednesday, September 25, 2013

2.875 : 9/25/07 : Stoichiometry

I’m feeling like my life is
run by stoichiometry
hedged in on all sides by
unbreakable geometry
defined by mobility
money time credentials
feeling grim deficient
in all of the essentials
I push the numbers ‘round
to feel I’m keeping busy
trying to see something new
in them makes me dizzy
all things must be conserved
entropy paid its due
I don’t know how the hell
the extra push I need could get through


Tuesday, September 24, 2013

2.874 : 9/24/07 : This Dull Morass

The axis is bigger than I had suspected
thoughts I thought long-buried
are now resurrected
When the days I’d spoken of are come to pass
will there remain a dim light
in this dull morass
The lesson should have taken twenty years ago
the holy present is the only
thing we know
but I just went ahead and chased the will-o-wisp
and justified my error
like a solipsist
I can’t believe I let another week slide by
I can’t believe I still believe
I’m not that guy
But then I am surprised to still be climbing
still trying to carve the thoughts out
and still rhyming
I’m trying to believe that you are with me always
I’m trying to worry not but that’s a
hard sell these days
The lunatics are running everything down here
A little help my Lord from my lips
to your ear


Monday, September 23, 2013

2.873 : 9/23/07 : Those Villains

3,065 : 12 ?

The currency was tanking
and still all the wonks were wanking
over how to spin the platter
of a thousand things that did not matter
I was trying to get off
all the steam I failed to let off
it was building to an evil head
here’s what those villains said
we must fight the moral battle
here’s the fence that you must straddle
please ignore diminishing returns
also the fact that fire burns
we’re only watching out for you
too simple to know what to do
so please hold these thoughts a while
and hand your papers over with a smile
with key indexes eroding
so much improvised exploding
I was dreaming like a blackguard
sneaking one across the long yard
just one sweet culture bait job
dressed up hurried and cut rate job
roll my score up yeah and get out
what a freedom whoop I’d let out
till I came back to my senses
saw my stupid rose-hued lenses
felt the sickness still inside
an hour left I better hide


Sunday, September 22, 2013

2.872 : 9/22/07 : Tiny Genesis

Wanting to start too big to begin at the end without earning
Wanting to claim each lost notion instrumentalize all their returning
Grasping for some past emotion or moment transient state of mind
And waiting and waiting for call revelation some augury ought to unwind
Tiny genesis will you be sufficient
I’m not forthright constant or efficient
But I put the lines down in the end
And that is enough for you my friend
Not knowing the point or the purpose of still after all persisting
I can’t tell if I’ve got high standards or merely a thing for resisting
And if it all comes to another uncertain and slim masterpiece
Will I call it a day at ten times the price will it feel any more like release
Tiny genesis will you be definitive
Every dangling participle, split infinitive
Will I lose all the points on mechanics
or just drop the ball when the ego panics
I fear false beginnings are just as pernicious as contrived endings
I guess that somewhere in the middle is hidden the essential bendings
I guess That I guess all too often and what can I say it’s my nature
but it’s been a long time and for a long time I’ve lost faith in the great cure
tiny genesis everything’s always beginning
and if you find me here slack jawed and grinning
for once it’s not just a chemical spoke
Maybe for just a blink I felt in on the joke


Saturday, September 21, 2013

2.871 : 9/21/07 : Lie Back and Take It

Oh my beautiful country
no you were never half so pure
as the songs made out
but I think we’ve really
crossed the line now
I think we turned your inner demons out
lie back and take it
feel the liberty call me
a patriot
yell a little if you have to
after all its shocking
to be taken hard by idiots
I know I must be
at least half wrong
but I’m not sure that makes them
half right
I worried and vexed at
the puzzle
I kept on waking you up all night
Lie back and take it
your modesty’s not worth
a loss of our “way of life”
close your eyes
and think of yourself
while we fix you with a knife


Friday, September 20, 2013

2.870 : 9/20/07 : Half Lived

Statistics are not fairness, kindness, justice
no matter that they seem to be on your side
It’s true I might be at the very middle point of life
the river here does not seem too damn wide
half lived: is it the better or the worse half left
characteristic of the bass or treble clef
I am tired tired tired of the lash of fear
what’s the use when I know we’re all for out of here?
there’s no glass eyes or wooden legs left at the healing pool
and if I make excuses for it then I’m more the fool
so what’s left to me besides what boils down to blind chance
and even at the outliers the inevitable proceeds in its inexorable dance
feelings are not evidence tradition’s no excuse
and still I try to sort out my believing
knowing so few will understand and less will care so what’s the use
yet I cannot ignore this constant message I’m receiving
resist it as I might I know living’s only here and now
And God does not require my defense in this eternal moment does endow
my half life with the power to be complete
I guess I’ve got to be thankful I’m still on my feet


Thursday, September 19, 2013

2.869 : 9/19/07 : I’m Not Sick

I heard the message:
I could not stand to listen to the speech
in awe of those who can both
do and teach
and sickened with myself
at how I whine and pout
I’m not sick: and I’ve got nothing to complain about
So much is given
and so much is taken
I can barely bear to contemplate
just what cannot be shaken
they came up with a weapon
that broadcasts pain
yet he’s the one who is going to die
what can we hope to gain
wondering how long I will
allow myself to fake it
this secret harbored in my breast
that I don’t think we’re gonna make it
after that I guess
it all just becomes a time scale
watching for our numbers up
our mean time


Wednesday, September 18, 2013

2.868 : 9/18/07 : The Moment

If the moment ever came
it’s passed now
I’m faking gains
like Skilling and Fastow
I’m maybe not the sharpest
knife in the block
I’m dying for a moment
just to rest and take stock
Why am I hungry
why so sick and tired
how did I ever manage
to avoid getting fired
and now that I’m
the only boss I’ve got
there’s no one else to pin on
how I got in this spot
it’s been too long
that it’s all been a slog
trying to hunt with
this no-account dog
In time the moment
will come ‘round again
but what will I make of it
I won’t know till I begin


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

2.867 : 9/17/07 : Soul Bell

When did I first hear
the soul bell ringing
and when did I first
know its name
When did I first fear
it was a siren singing
and how long have I
danced around that game
I thought I’d find a gig
just ringing it all day long
I thought it would be
easy, automatic
I found it in movies
books and songs
but my own search
only came up static
there’s no soul bell
to be found in this mess
Such a typical
display of irony
I pray in my comfort
and I pray under duress
that somewhere out there
it’s still ringing for me


Monday, September 16, 2013

2.866 : 9/16/07 : Solution

3,058 : 5 ?

Another virus worm
twists into my breath
another dim day’s contest
comes to sudden death
doing later again
what I could have done sooner
another ballad cliché
another fly me to the mooner
I tear it off right there
declare that tale told
raise to mind the image
of a tower of gold
wrapped in a hologram
of Purest white
just a strange little scene
I never manage to write
there’s a girl with wings
and a magic machine
at the cusp of contemplation
it all seems so clean
but it all gets messy
in the execution
so till then give what I got
the song a day solution


Sunday, September 15, 2013

2.865 : 9/15/07 : Drift, Escape

Looking for the drift, escape
stay sharp to get it down on tape
a little play of light and wit
kill an hour or two and split
the middle of some
business I don’t follow
the blare of justifying
ringing hollow
I plot to unleash my testimony
Woo Mr. Brilliant with the dog and pony
just like that the drift
reverie is shattered
always drawn by
everything that mattered
and what I can or can’t
is not the real point
rage or rest
a new day I’ll anoint


Saturday, September 14, 2013

2.864 : 9/14/07 : Worm Turns

The worm turns hard again
and bites me on the ass
sorry to be crude
but you find me at a crude pass
was it something I ate
that argument we had
a decade and a half well
half the time it didn’t seem bad
I’m fed up with the worm
I am no fragile flower
the worm predates the wife and kid
the dull stint in the ivory tower
and these days things are better
more rarely my tripe burns
but in a way it makes it worse
whenever the worm turns


Friday, September 13, 2013

2.863 : 9/13/07 : Tide

I dreamed about
the man who wrote about
the place where you could
stand to see the place
where the tide
I turned you out
ignored your raging shout
eyes shut I knocked on wood
and tipped my wet face
toward where outside
the line's still there
I guess I still care
but I’ve never been
to see with my own eyes
whether they’re the right
I give a hard stare
know that nothing’s fair
in the city of sin
all the name implies
pronounce the last insight


Thursday, September 12, 2013

2.862 : 9/12/07 : Waiting for a Mission

Waiting for a mission getting softer
Thinking I have picked the wrong oracle
Has it been five - ten - indeed twelve years
waiting for the wrong miracle
Do I have the stones to stand again
and claim some moment of transition
no I shall not no more of that con
I’ll be silent wait for my mission


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

2.861 : 9/11/07 : Bible Lessons

I’m trying to educate the youth
with my bible lessons
Raw and uncouth
just to get under the skins
of the pro unbelievers
in their brainbox bins
You could say I wasted
an hour on it
but I try like hell to
justify each little bit
a fan’s a fan
and I don’t got many
so ask for a little
I’ll give you plenty


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

2.860 : 9/10/07 : God Told Me

God told me to start a band
God told me to take the
knife in my hand
God told me to kill a son
I said I guess
I’m not the one
I saw the Presence
but I received no instruction
absent both
now I move
by spiritual induction
I claim no special insight
no grasp of the divine
it’s something like a practice
not belief
or anodyne


Monday, September 09, 2013

2.859 : 9/9/07 : Sweet Baby

I hear a whisper
a croon a call
Up the stairs around the corner
at the end of the hall
Come to bed
lay your head down
sweet baby
even if nothing’s
gonna turn out right
in the end
we had today
and we’ve got tonight
so she said
and I looked out at our town
sweet baby
a rough morning
from a crazy night
and all that I pushed hardest
turned out out of sight
So let it all unspool out of my head
and lost that frown
sweet baby


Sunday, September 08, 2013

2.858 : 9/8/07 : Wedding Can

I dreamed this song up
in the Wedding Can
a perfect crucible to song
the make of a real man
on a farm that smelled so
God damned much like home
I beat the fucking cognitive
to sea foam
This is real:
I am God damn here
I can’t take it with me
but I aim to be; clear
as the sun
on a morning
without cloud or haze
I’m the fucking narrator
the author of days
show me another
I’ll gladly bow
to my mother superior
my own private sacred cow:
I’ve overstayed my welcome
I fear I’ve tipped my hand
I’m an everyday adherent
of the Bible of the promised land
I sanctify this sad position
read by some wise glint
I’ll ride it like a comet
end up full of piss, and skint


Saturday, September 07, 2013

2.857 : 9/7/07: Consideration

How much could be ameliorated
how much could be deferred
by just a little consideration
a considered thought
trying to hold a line against fury
satisfying crackle of rage
deep down I swear that I don’t want it
but this paragraph must run
to the bottom of its page
all is asked is a little
thought forbearance
it’s not a test puzzle or riddle
it’s not a capital or
just a pause
subjunctive clause
aside for consideration


2.856 : 9/6/07 : Ire

The ire is up I’m feeding it
On every bitch that doesn’t give a shit
I want it sharper hotter meaner
I want you taken to the cleaner
Straighten up your spine there’s no excuse
Kindly explain to me what’s your fucking use
mine is easy ain’t it cook and clean
I think you know exactly what I mean
the ire will burn then smoke and die
I hope you get the worst bit in your eye
I don’t feel sorry wrong or cruel
call it a weapon call it a tool


Thursday, September 05, 2013

2.855 : 9/5/07 : Plainly

Plainly the system needs work
I try not to look like such a jerk
I try to stick a pin in some event
is there still room for me under your tent
I confess I’m just trying to fake it through
Somewhere along the line I lost my retinue
lost my crown and scepter now I’m some nobody
but if I were still king in your hands I’d still be putty
Plainly I’ve got a lot to live for each day
plainly I think I’ve got a lot to say
but at the crunch I just want to lay it to rest
another day another another test


Wednesday, September 04, 2013

2.854 : 9/4/07 : Love Is All

Why is it so hard
when love is all around
stuffing every channel
splashed on billboards all over town
maybe that’s the answer
devalued coin
rather keep my
motives pure
that motley throng
I will not join
hey maybe that’s
a dim excuse
maybe I refuse
to let my impulse loose
and dress it up as
scruples reservation
preserve the illusion
of my own
exalted station


Tuesday, September 03, 2013

2.853 : 9/3/07 : Keep it Simple

Regardless of
how I starkly protest
It seems again
I fail this test
not just to rectify
but stay on that
straight route
falling behind
yet once again
stumbling along with
my senseless pen
Again again I
think I’ll work it out
what I wouldn’t give
to keep it simple
love and stars
a smile a dimple
failing that why
won’t the bitch just let me quit
I know, I shouldn’t
blame the muse
still I swear I’d gladly recuse
myself if you’d just
show me some finer
end of it


Monday, September 02, 2013

2.852 : 9/2/07 : Slow Time

The wall’s just a metaphor
though certainly not for a door
it marks the changeover
back into slow time
I don’t believe we’ll make it to the asymptote
I don’t believe I’ll live to see that’s all she wrote
Still I might see the seed sown
of some strange new old fashioned future paradigm
such gorgeous lies we now concoct
and parables of worlds we rocked
I imagine we’ll pull together another run
up the slope of the great geometric
bio and nano on top of electric
on our slow way to be absorbed by the sun


2.851 : 9/1/07 : Previews (In the Near Future)

3,043 : 2 ?

In the near future
my unorthodox opinion
will become simply the recognized
assessment of the way of things
this business isn’t confidence
it’s sadly close to indifference
in some respects it’s easy
to see what tomorrow brings
but I’ll avoid detailing the previews
the coming attractions
they sound too sexy but
the won’t be like that at all
I rather expect we’ll quickly
accept and then scarcely notice
how we swiftly pile together
straight into the wall