2.1976 : 9/30/2010 : Previews

If you can't show me the
main attractions
could I at least get
some previews
something to sharpen
anticipation
some intimation
of good news
I've been suffering
through these repeats
feeling the story is done
just want a hint of
anything coming
some sign of
coming fun
I know I've got my
attitude turned upside down
don't know how to
right it
I know this feeling
will be back
wish I knew
how to fight it

what

2.1975 : 9/29/2010 : Perfect and Blue

 Could I make it tonight
and even if I make it tonight
it doesn't matter to tomorrow
nothing ever matters
when it's tomorrow
could I figure it out
and make the difference up to you
or will I be
perfect and blue
perfect and blue

what

2.1974 : 9/28/2010 : If Tonight's the Night

I try so hard to imagine
the music swelling that way for me
I've been spoiled by the movies
I've been spoiled by the teevee
God did I really imagine
I would end up one of those
people people know by name
that life that dream those clothes
I don't really think I did
no idea who I was trying to kid
sad to say I think it was just
something to hold on to
wonder if you're telling stories about me
wonder if you're in the clink or floating free
wonder if anyone will
tell me if you die
wonder if tonight's the night
and if I'm that guy
and however hard I try to imagine
the silence presses down like a rock
and I truly don't know where I'm going next
but at this point this is all just talk

what

2.1973 : 9/27/2010 : Joint

Too much the same
up to this point
doubtful about how well
I can drag it round the joint
but I got to I just got to
come high water, come the fire
even if I don't know
at all what to aspire

what

2.1972 : 9/26/2010 : Need Anything

I talked to you a long time
now I can't recall hardly anything I said
same old same old probably
that rattles always around my head
If I could give you something
if you could need anything
I'd trade you for a little hint
you could have a little bird bring

what

2.1971 : 9/25/2010 : Memories

Maybe all you can get or give
are memories
wiped clean in a generation or two
and the lingering detritus
just part of the same stew
not natural not human
not friends or enemies
if I could leave a last message
and I only had a line or two
sorry for the old cliché
maybe if I had another day
but I could only say
oh how I really really love you
If I could influence your memories
I'd give a minute of beauty
try to balance freedom and duty
and how to live as if you'll
live forever
and maybe go today
and hope you would remember

what

2.1970 : 9/24/2010 : So Much Work

Got to quit complaining
that it's all so much work
like so much what else then
life's little file clerk
trying to get it all in boxes
trying to stick the labels on
before the quake comes to unravel
and the order sought is gone
as the temperature dips down
and I choose to set the work aside
and not think of it for a while
and let the current order ride

what

2.1969 : 9/23/2010 : That Didn't Work

Well that didn't work - no note of that
the transition protocol, the fancy new hat
the itty bitty songs at the frustrated last minute
looks like I'm just gonna have to swallow the loss, innit
looks like I have to get back on the long-form kick
and the little by little and trying not to be a dick
praying for patience, praying for peace
praying for the little revelations that bring release
put everything together and try another angle
let the impossible questions dangle
pick four or five solid virtues to pursue
and try so very hard to be good to you
and try so very hard to rise above the slippery slope
try to savor the feeling of not being a dope
believe in what's believable and gloss the rest
let what can't be understood to time's only test
well that didn't work but here I'm still kicking
throwing noodles at the wall to observe what's sticking.

what

2.1968 : 9/22/2010 : Magic Numbers

Magic numbers and
significant dates
five minute reprieves
then eight minute hates
I try to lay it all out
in a tidy row
but what it all could mean
I just don't know

what

2.1967 : 9/21/2010 : Every Manner

Every manner and
this one too
waiting to be rid of
the scrutiny of you
fate seems against me
I sullen wait
for scheming chance to open the gate

what

2.1966 : 9/20/2010 : Science & Religion

I'd like to study
science and religion
but it's hella bigger than me
and I'm probably
dancing on shaky ground
to believe this dream could set me free
I know a few good people
I've got a jones
and that can be a mission
I guess that all I can do
is send a message
hope it's a transmission

what

2.1965 : 9/19/2010 : Nothing Cute

Nothing cute today
no adroit words to say
like it is what it is
no response I fail the quiz
nothing to say about what's coming
or the way that I've been summing
on the dark side of my questions
or how open I am to suggestions
I know tonight I disappoint
no excuse the time is out of joint
no excuse I've just been bad
not enough that I've been sad
I will try tomorrow true
but since it's what I always do
it's hard to guess if it will matter
Still I'll get up on the ladder
try to make it up a little higher
try not to be such a big old sigher
try to cheer up act my age
try to write a better page

what

2.1964 : 9/18/10 : Thunder

A little laugh
and lord I sure need it
however distant the thunder
I still have to heed it
still optimistic
deep down I must be crazy
guess I'll muddle it through somehow
the details are a little hazy

what

2.1963 : 9/17/10 : Responsible

Please take away the fear
of the very possible
that nonetheless is not happening
for all I cannot be responsible
too many paces up and down
far too much for me to count
but not enough I do not know
it adds to a fearsome amount
the bigger picture is too vast
take away the urge to see it
the role of savior is not mine
take away the urge to be it
so little for me to be responsible
make me satisfied with that
and give me peace for all the rest
and enough strength to wear my own hat

what

2.1962 : 9/16/10 : Cusp

Could this be the cusp at hour thirty two
nothing I want to believe is true
show me horror I'll show you fact
show me stupid I'll show you me caught in the act
There is no cusp there is no mountaintop
a meaningless sting then a sickening drop
be that as it may I might as well
overcome and then refuse to tell
erase ten years an offhand shrug
step lightly from the ditch I dug
won't mean a thing won't save a soul
it's so damn easy without any goal
It's so damn easy without highs or lows
a man without regard for what weight he tows
or if the hill goes up or down
or if there's any chance he'll ever leave this town

what

2.1961 : 9/15/10 : Protocol

You'll remember that voice
for a good long time
And the imaginary box
it trapped you in like a mime
and the way that it struck you
motionless like a doll
when you dared to invoke the protocol
Oh how everything seems
so much the same
except that you feel funny
when you say your own name
and the way you get an itch to stare at the wall
and relive the separate place of the protocol
transitions are crazy
nobody likes change
and if you want to turn right back
well that can be arranged
but if you're determined to go on
that's just what you'll do
and you must just trust in the protocol to see you through

what

2.1960 : 9/14/10 : Scarcely

Scarcely succeeded
still I guess that's a day
no doubt choke tomorrow
but it's not then now so okay

I can't get wound up about
scarcely scratching by
so maybe in a year or so I run
and in a thousand I may fly

what

2.1959 : 9/13/10 : An End, and a Beginning

And end, and a beginning
I suspect there will be no end to sinning
no end to slipping, no end to failing
And possibly no end to this
bilge I'm bailing
It's okay to end a day on a cliché
I demure I'm sure sometimes it happens that way
It won't change a thing
but of course that's given
Sometimes I won't feel any hope
Sometimes I won't feel forgiven
taken all together it's a hot mess of words
the massive recreation of the war of the nerds
turned out I wasn't Hamlet
not even Polonius
Damn sure I'm not Miles
Bird or Thelonious
But I can still end things
begin others
stand up and cheer if
you're with me brothers
stand up and fake it like I am winning
until I make it to some
strange beginning

what

2.1958 : 9/12/10 : Signal Decay

Reflection on reflection
translation on translation
there's almost no more signal left
on the signal decay location
Good heavens, ah
Oh my lands
I'm fairly boxed in tight
by all these ampersands
all these asterisks
and treble clefs
I though that I could weigh a man
by the weight of concepts he hefts
but I was proved wrong
by the end of the day
the sad truth demonstrated
in the signal decay

what

2.1957 : 9/11/10 : Book

I just want to finish my book
stay up too late
and blow off everything tomorrow
but I need to be done
with that particular gun
and its particular brand of sorrow
I've got all the information
I need right now
Don't need any more reading
I can't even venture a guess
about tomorrow tonight
and anyway tonight's so fleeting

what

2.1956 : 9/10/10 : Everything Wrong

I'm going to work diligently
to get everything wrong
wrong kind and wrong number
wrong time to write a song
hide knowing it'll get caught out
wrong choice of final rites
I'm just hoping to find a way
to get rid of the parasites
I worked so hard at being right
forgot the question
I don't know how to start the next verse
but I'm open to suggestion
I'm going to try so patiently
to stack it up again
the days behind the fluid now
I felt I had sometimes had when
I believed in a few little dreams
believed in things working
I believed maybe in a happy ending
might be in some odd corner working
I'll worry about tomorrow now
I'll worry about the gong
a-sounding out strange endings
I'm confident that's wrong

what

2.1955 : 9/09/10 : Sell

Sell, sell, sell
get rid of all the cruft
we're all being consumed
by such an excess of stuff
low reserves
shipping like a cloud
insubstantial you can't
afford to pass up
an offer so loud
look at that
think of what you'd pay
if you had bought it new
you can't afford to pass it up today
sell sell sell
I will feel so much lighter
jettisoning all the stuff
I'll succeed
'cause I'm a fighter

what

2.1954 : 9/08/10 : Fast & Empty

It all seems so fast
and so empty
and so many thousand things
that seem to pre-empt me
is this the story that was meant
is anything really meant
and if not why the hell
did all these feelings get sent
Fast they say because
it all started with a bang
empty because there was
hardly ever anything
that's origin myth for you
shit cool story bro
doesn't really give me personally
much to go on though
I stand try to be slow
I sit and try to be full
knowing I'm getting dragged along with all of it
a speck stuck to a speck by gravity's pull

what

2.1953 : 9/07/10 : Urgency

This illusion of urgency
that comes with being human
and all the lists and circumstances
we be exhuming
it's a tale I guess
but it seems pretty stupid
pouring one remedy down
after another
I swear to God
we'll hit the right one brother
and find at last
our perfect cupid
draw back the bow let arrow fly
we won't get provoked to ask why
we'll see that bastard
hit its target
and when we're rich and fat
content with our lot
we won't question a single
minute that we've got
fuck you jack
We know we are set

what

2.1952 : 9/6/10 : Now

I can hear the alarm saying
it ought to be now
and after all these years
I still don't seem to know how
and I can't stop trying
seems it's in my bones
So I carry now around
like a cart full of stones
talking won't do it
nor writing either
maybe grit and gumption
got no stocks of neither
but I better not wait
for another shot across the bow
the sole redeeming feature
is there's nothing but now

what

2.1951 : 9/5/10 : Labor

You said you wanted a marker
I'll call this a labor of love
and admit I hate it sometimes
but admit it fits me like a glove
probably not my goldmine
and my treasure resides elsewhere
I got to give up all these fools gold nights
and find some other way to care
how will I complete my labor
not without pain and grief
and the fear that steals in stealthy
like a tricky scary thief
not without mistakes and crossings out
not without near misses
but I might just make it through
with my strand of three and a hundred kisses

what

2.1950 : 9/4/10 : Not Over

The night's not over
and I haven't beat it yet
maybe you want an answer
it's not what you're going to get
I'm not feeling myself
or else I am far too much
I'd like to wrap it gracefully
sadly it seems I lost my touch

what

2.1949 : 9/3/10 : Just Dumb

See the thing for what it is
a failure to be overcome
another sign you're not there yet
another sign that you're just dumb
don't expect much from tomorrow
don't expect a thing to change
Why would it nothing's different
another chance you just estrange
think about the ones that have left
that is not the boat you're in
expect another good long inning
add another coat of sin
You might get a little smarter
with your nose hard at the wheel
with a lot of grit and focus
dumb might just lose it's appeal

what

2.1948 : 9/2/10 : Repetition

Nothing new to say
I guess it's down to repetition
done believing in the call
done waiting for the mission
easy to see what's to do
and nothing but to do it
sure can't see an end to it
So might as well get to it
these feelings these decisions
and the whole thing will repeat
one day maybe a different way
and wouldn't that be neat
imagined as a wall of shelves
the same box lined up stretching
down the hall and round the corner
at the thought of it I'm retching

what

2.1947 : 9/1/10 : Tedious

So tedious
I can barely keep my bile down
struggle to be original
keep the lid on the style down
the only weapon
that I have when it rolls
over me
is cut it off at the knees
and pretend
it is a parody

what