2.2068 : 12/31/10 : Stops

Feel it it is now
pull out every stop
don't think don't talk
the ball is gonna drop
you don't have to think
you don't have to talk
just do the do
just walk the walk
they're not gonna to autotune
they're not going to play the harp
we are going to walk the walk
we're going to warn
whatever with your porn
whatever with your music shit
this is fine the moment here
this is here and this is it
I am fine the moment is coming
nail it down and call it fine
we will make the best of it
call it done and
call it mine

what

2.2067 : 12/30/10 : Recover

How do I recover from
the sucker punch
the feeling of breaking free
however unwise
could I feel it if I didn't act it
always as the last time
the grand prize
after this and after that
I'm always surviving
some ordeal
and just want a little help
a little help to
recover how I did feel
put recovery on the back burner
I listen to the beast tonight
know it means it's all in chaos
whatever it will be all right

what

2.2066 : 12/29/10 : Empire

This won't hurt
no try you something new
tell me the truth babe
can you feel my Empire
calling you?
Alexander, Charlemange
the Turks
this time we've got
a formula that always works
it takes some faith
a taste for what is true
close your eyes and feel
my Empire is inside of you

what

2.2065 : 12/28/10 : Clue

Nineteen or twenty-two
and less of a clue; fuck
less of a clue
how many disparate
contradictory
maybe if I'd buckled down
earned the valedictory
maybe if I'd took a shot
the scholarship
that storied English spot
Maybe if I'd made a note
outside that door instead my rote
recital of the limitations
there's a clue that cost me nations
maybe if I'd hit the road
a few good friends, no aim or abode
the moments seem far fewer now
should I call them opportunity
maybe in that is a clue
the reality of true community
Sure I get it
responsible man
but I'm lacking one clue
So tell me if you can
I've still got eight by five to kill
so tell me where the clue
for that is if you will

what

2.2064 : 12/27/10 : Comfort

Is it a comfort or a suffering
to think that there is nothing to be done?
that in the end it is all more or less a machine
and truly no on is the one
touched or meant or evolved or destined
to set it right oh cursed spite
It means I'm off the hook at least
but seems to dim the all but failing light

what

2.2063 : 12/26/10 : Thinking Ahead

Thinking ahead
not knowing what for
having put someone else
in charge of the door
is that sure disappointment
or ease supreme
someone else has always been
in charge of the dream
take what comes to me
say not a dire sound
the forbears of this day
are deep in the ground
I'll wait for the moment
the sign of what's what
no matter what comes
will be the deepest cut

what

2.2062 : 12/25/10 : The Teacher

The student is ready
well sick of the sickness
this sheaf of songs not just
defined by its thickness
I've been seeking out there
shone light under turned stones
I follow a tune
I found scribed in my bones
it's ready ready and so now
the teacher will appear
his plane touching down now
his footsteps lead here

what

2.2061 : 12/24/10 : Enough

To have not served enough
dealt too much off the cuff
don't care to look too close
find out I'm one of those
put hours in money too
tempted to cross with you
to say it's not enough
but then it's not your bluff
and how you set it up
me and my half full cup
reminded by my own
nothing that's not on loan
it goes too deep for me
the hill too steep for me
enough I say I'll try
somehow and by and by

what

2.2060 : 12/23/10 : Will It Change?

Will it change?
Will that feeling go away
or just seem like so, hey
and if I'm still discontent
if I'm still a'gloom
what will I do with
the change in this room?
will it change if I
start reading the book
will it change if I'm
upright and will not look
will it change when
someone sees and responds
or will nothing change
out in the great beyonds

what

2.2059 : 12/22/10 : A Price

Too many things
You can't put any price on
but somebody wants more money every day
there will always be those
willing to sticker anything
and sell it all back to you any day
I'd give a little bit
this very moment
for an extra couple hours today
the one thing you can't buy
at any price no matter how high
yet we all get more and more given away

what

2.2058 : 12/21/10 : River (Prelude)

A hundred thousand things that
seem like good ideas at the time
All form a river flowing
carrying a tiny little chime
just a vague approximation
something I heard briefly in my head
I didn't carry it out
decided to give the river prelude instead
and will get on to it
get out of this narrative of smack
I wouldn't promise anything
but yes I'll probably be back

what

2.2057 : 12/20/10 : Start

Pretty soon I'm going to start again
courageous fellow with a heart of tin
So much left undone no one's infinite
Wait just a minute and we're into it

what

2.2056 : 12/19/10 : Eggs

Let's put all our eggs in one basket
and ride that bitch to hell
kill the whales and all the coral
when the kids ask just don't tell
So fed up with human nature
worthless monkey drones
the best post up the latest outrage
the rest sleep with their telephones
let's get all our eggs together
count them all before they're hatched
leave the kids to wonder after
how their future got cold snatched

what

2.2055 : 12/18/10 : Benefits of Science

I am not neglecting
the benefits of science
but I have a feeling I may need
a little measure of defiance
to face down a little fear
get some trust back up in here
Some things transcend
And I know if I push pas every knowing
into what cannot be known
a certain skeleton will be showing
peeking from the closet, gee
of natural philosophy
eager to make amends

what

2.2054 : 12/17/10 : Juice

The one about the regret from the heart
the one about the failure of the juice
the one about the once that got the ace
the one where you wound up holding the deuce
I wish that I the one about the uh
the uh I wish that I could just, the the
there's no excuse for any of it but
something said way and I said what
the juice just where does it come from
with everybody scrapping in the scrum
who comes on top and who knows why
and why I never am that guy

what

2.2053 : 12/16/10 : Never Happen

Whispers and glimmers
some things never happen
and if you think you want to
take the ride you better strap in
Because I have a real bad feeling
Well confess I just can't say
if it means a lot because
I've felt the same for many a day
And I'm here for all wrong reasons
far too many things like that
either mapping out wrong paths
starting things that fall down flat
still praying for the turnaround
but some things never happen so
I better make something happen
I better go

what

2.2052 : 12/15/10 : Unmade Bed

Never good enough fights
with don't give up
wish I could ignore it all
sit back, just tip the cup
why oh why why oh why
what went through my head?
to end up lying in another
unmade bed
Do the others feel more?
is it some spoke in their brain?
Should I be a bigger bastard?
Should I cultivate more pain?
It's all about itself
and there's no balance here
but the end to that dilemma's
not in sight I fear
I've only got one card left
to throw in this night's hole
I better fold up now
and leave the thing unpicked and whole

what

2.2051 : 12/14/10 : Cast

Cast and cast again
nothing is biting on this hook
that loaded with anxiety
just like I read of in a book
just like a guy like me
to make it all about just how I feel
you need a book to be okay
oh surely I see the appeal
Cast them on you then what oh Lord
nothing changes I can see
maybe just not humble enough
maybe I should wait and see
maybe I should take a dose
before my brain gets cast in lead
too late maybe so, so sue me
For just trying to get ahead

what

2.2050 : 12/13/10 : Mile

I'm not prepared
to go the extra mile
I'm not prepared to serve
you with a smile
I'm not prepared to
let go my hold
on these worries and cares
as I'm getting old
is how I feel
but it is not so smart
I'd like to go
but don't know where to start
or maybe how to learn
I'm really in the middle
of a boredom in a vacancy
inside a banal riddle

what

2.2049 : 12/12/10 : Sister S

Hey sister S
On your island
with your harp
and halfway smiling
look doesn't mean anything
not for me
some deem me blind
but I can see
and it doesn't matter
neither here nor there
since I've no stomach left
for the old dog's hair
So I just have to suffer
the aftermath
better mind your own investments
we're all due to take a path

what

2.2048 : 12/11/10 : Worse

If you're not getting better but worse
it must be a curse on you
Do anything that you want to
It won't matter till you lift the spell
nothing matters anyway so just as well
trying to reclaim some better aspect
had it five years ago
or maybe I just can't tell what's good so
anyway so anyway anyway
it's enough to cal a spade a spade night the day
it's enough to call out a last verse
Submit to another day caught in curse

what

2.2047 : 12/10/10 : Bad Sector

I've read this book before
been on this bad hook before
there's a bad sector on the medium somewhere
but the scans aren't finding it
they say familiarity breed contempt
and I'm long past thinking I'm exempt
and as things stand I don't mind
admitting yes I'm minding it
scan or no I know eventually
the damn thing's going to fail on me
spit up a hunk of work
I will not be able to recover
and I'll cook it up from scratch again
give me a hundred days I'll do the work of ten men
maybe lock it in this time
drag a golden data nugget out of the slime
I'm surely no fighter but
these days I haven't been much of a lover

what

2.2046 : 12/09/10 : Beating

My bearing and the beating
the fire and what it's feeding
someone else's problems
On the mighty box
my panting and my grimace
you couldn't call it a premise
feel crazy like something
and it's surely not a fox
put the past behind me
said before words always blind me
I guess it could be worse
these jackals on the screen
all mining life for drama
though mine now might seem a comma
and if I think about it much more
I'll get mean

what

2.2045 : 12/8/10 : Spare

Can only spare a line or two
the faster to return to you
A slim chance to hew to the track
and make amends for looking back

what

2.2044 : 12/7/10 : Vampire High

Dreaming of dreaming
and it gives me a bad feeling
like a vampire in a high tower
about to be caught in a sun shower
I don't have the chops I don't know the tropes
I'm doomed to slump around down here with you dopes
cursing my cursing
cracked dry lips I'm pursing
try to whistle a tune jaunty
but the crowd demands the full monty
I dreamed of writing something but I woke with nothing in my head
and found I'd heard the wrong alarm and roused too early from my bed

what

2.2043 : 12/6/10 : Contrivance

If not another paean
to misstep, to regret
if not some forced contrivance
calculated not to let
a shred of truth to ghost past
this hard shut door
if not a holy relic
what on earth can it be for?

what

2.2042 : 12/5/10 : Smells Like Victory

He said it smells like victory
but I won't have a bit of it
the beast wants me to believe
but I am past all of that shit
remembering old flames
how sometimes I forget myself
I don't know what to do with that
but file it on the same old shelf
memory can take you back
but back is no place to be
remember how I touched you
I won't forget how you touched me
but those days just don't exist
anymore there's only here and now
Yeah me and old Colonel Kurtz
we'll do for your sacred cow
and I put all that behind
imagine my virtual J. P.
better be enough for you
it's going to be enough for me.

what

2.2041 : 12/4/10 : Interesting

Maybe I was more interesting
when I made stupider choices
couldn't there be some exchange
to hold onto those novel voices
and if it all stays dull dull
can I still do I still keep on
another useless riddle
another deep thought to sleep on
But I won't give up much
just to be interesting
and I guess I can keep on if I like
who knows what roads I'm testing
nobody's twisting anyone's arm
no one has a gun to his or her head
It doesn't quite keep me interested
but some strange itch gets fed

what

2.2040 : 12/3/10 : Missing the Music

I'm missing the music
And that's a hell of a note
Oh ah I slay myself
but I'm proceeding by rote
and if I don't find music
somehow these dry limbs
will never flourish
will be still and sterile hymns
I've thought about learning
and I've thought about asking
I've thought about miracles
and the great unmasking
but I just keep dancing
try not to ask what frog I'll be kissing
hoping to unmask a prince of song
to supply the music I am missing

what

2.2039 : 12/2/10 : Same

Same music plays
same signal
same hole is there
to go dig now
these beginnings
are so commonplace
no time to check the
sheepish look on my face
no time to wonder
how the shift could come
no time for anything
spit and play dumb
If I'd been there
maybe he'd have taken me apart
for hoping there could be
anything at all to really start

what

2.2038 : 12/1/10 : Different

Some sunny day
it will all be different
until then keep my
head down and pay the rent
If I can't prise something
new from the jaws of night
at least it can be put to bed
and save this searching for the light

what

2.2037 : 11/30/2010 : Thousand Cuts

None so deep
I feel allowed to complain deeply
look at that machinist I saw
how the price can rise so steeply
look at how my plan played out
a thousand ifs and buts
and me dying the cliched death
of bleeding from a thousand cuts
lacking agency
a viable vision
I hunker down before the box
and wait for transmission
just what I'm hoping for
I wish that I could say
I take another cut
and go about my way
I wish I could stop caring
and getting in a brood
I wish I could just walk away
but someone has to make the food
maybe I'll find a way
to jump out of these ruts
by the time that I've recovered
from another thousand cuts

what