2.2402 : 11/30/11 : Psalm 102 (Stricken - Seventeen Nights 12/17)

My heart is stricken
and withered like grass
I try to roll through it
with a little class
where is Zion Zion now
who could get called chosen
and though the dates keep changing
every asset's frozen
and nothing will
endure but you
but can you really understand
what you put us through?
everyone's stricken
withered in the end
and who will stand for us
oh who shall we send?

what

2.2401 : 11/29/11 : Your Spirit Is Free (Seventeen Nights 11/17)

Your spirit is free
I suppose
sure not there in the shell
in these old white clothes
and mine still tied
to gravity
what's it all mean?
I guess I'll have to
wait and see

what

2.2400 : 11/28/11 : Deep (Seventeen Nights 10/17)

Too tired for trying to be deep
and what's coming won't keep
And gets plenty deep on its own
a sinking stone
and the ripples spread out
change regret and doubt
deep revision and pause
and no escape clause
except the elephant of the hour
What feels like weakness
could be power
or is that wishful thinking
to ease to sleep
these waters are too damn deep

what

thinking of the things that hurt most of the time

So that was volume 2.13, Large Notebook, wherein I started a series of seventeen songs the point and premise of which I have absolutely no idea or recollection.  Five days in, the call came in the middle of the night, and the doctor told me that Dad had died, alone in the night - which was very like him. And four days later that book was done.  And on we go to volume 2.14: Inheritance 1.

what

2.2399 : 11/27/11 : Plot (Seventeen Nights 9/17)

Oh, well then
where did I see this plot?
Ha, ha, ha
much surprised?
No I thought not
thinking of the things
that hurt most of the time
an overused rhyme
No easy answers
and no quick cures
a lot of open handed gestures
and I'm not sures
a lot of crosses to cross
a lot of dots to dot
trying to gather up
the thread of this plot

what

2.2398 : 11/26/11 : Burden (Seventeen Nights 8/17)

Soon I'll take my own burden
up again
Laid to rest
but at best
it'll be the beginning's end
nothing's really ever over
So I said
and so it seems
still waiting
to see you shadow my dreams
the book is ever taken up
one hand to another
the road goes ever on and on
as father becomes brother
in the struggle
in the story
in the legacy of saints
One day similarly
may I throw off
my restraints

what

2.2397 : 11/25/11 : Very Weak (Seventeen Nights 7/17)

Very weak
I know how that one feels
I know how that one feels
I know how that one feels
What do last words reveal
it's not about that but
I can't help but ask what
I can't help but ask why
and far from the high peak
your answers seem
very weak

what

2.2396 : 11/24/11 : Perspective (Seventeen Nights 6/17)

How long will
the perspective last
Something a step above
the half full glass
You hope it might be
a little more
but time tempers all
that's what it's for
Lord just get me
through this week
no time to wander
no time to seek
will I get out of it yet
with a little insight
really just a sliver
needle sharp and bright

what

2.2395 : 11/23/11 : Stages (Seventeen Nights 5/17)

Left and left no
room for stages
no long processing
across the pages
what a magic trick
slipped through the floor
beyond denial
gone, evermore
Shoulda seen there'd be
no bargaining for you
struck the deal a long way back
stuck with it through and through
though I may be oh so angry
though I may be oh so sad
in the end I'll just accept
thanks for the time
and love you, Dad

what

2.2394 : 11/22/11 : Cake (Seventeen Nights 4/17)

Fuck enlightenment
give me cake
nothing at all to do with me
what's at stake
I read they're occupying
just every place
I'll type a comment on it
while I shove cake in my face
Let them eat it
I said oh hells, yeah
Call out the militia
I put on bells, yeah
to those as do the dirty work
I say excuse the mess I make
It's just my special destiny
involves a lot of eating cake

what

2.2393 : 11/21/11 : Another Piece (Seventeen Nights 3/17)

Try to be intentional
try to be deliberate
but life just keeps handing out
another piece of -
wait for it -
another shoe
another block
the stumbling kind
another shock
not knowing ever
what comes next
another piece
of sacred text?
I'd gladly give
my piece to you
but that option's
not offered, true

what

2.2392 : 11/20/11 : Almost (Seventeen Nights 2/17)

Almost went down
the same road again
at the last moment
picked up my pen
purely for form
not an ounce of desire
gone the dreamer
gone the fire
tell myself
it's temporary
the call that gas
learned optimism baby
but I'm not waiting
for surprises
angel men
in rough disguises
not looking for
props or bling
almost past
looking for anything

what

2.2391 : 11/19/11 : Anger Wrought (Seventeen Nights 1/17)

And all that
anger wrought
was forgetting this
plus angry thought
that turns and
curdles the heart
poisoning the mood
and spoiling the start

what

2.2390 : 11/18/11 : Lost

I was compelled to contemplate
how little I have lost
and the sin of taking for granted
and its terrible cost
Do not hesitate to send the letter
Now is the only time to make it better
Loss comes for all
its hunger can't be sated
and its mark on me so far
it scarcely can be rated
Be brave declare your love
he here below as you imagine it above
loss serves its purpose
but it is harsh, unforgiving
remind you life is for nothing
but hard joyous living
stand up hold out your hand
beckon sadly to the lost and promised land

what

2.2389 : 11/17/11 : My New Favorite Number

My new favorite number
is seventeen
prime: and best of all
it's not thirteen
Nineteen's a loser
been smoking for a year
still doesn't get
that the question's the cure
seventeen
not quite legal
yet old enough
to stand as the regal
inheritor
of the traditional crown
and this is it baby
I'm creaming, I'm down
don't ask questions
I won't answer
nor more marks
get bleeding with the lancer
everything you seek
is hidden in between
and I'll observe forever
every seventeen

what

2.2388 : 11/16/11 : Permanent

Let's figure out this guy
this permanent guy
you say you got to get to
so down so fly
stacking cash and followers
crashing glass and swallows spurs
this guy I am
wish he had a little
a stash a plan
a crank up fiddle
busk with a cat on the boulevard
feel so soft when you want to come hard
nothing much down here
is permanent
try to pay the bills
try to make the rent
better imagine and make it good
can you say enough? I knew you could

what

2.2387 : 11/15/11 : Temporary

Expiration of the temporary
Decant into the
rental flesh
grim and stationary
now check out
better to come
being big not small
being smart not dumb
so glad
that thing's over
so glad to be moving on
gonna get all permanent on you
ride in all the way up
the tower of song

what

2.2386 : 11/14/11 : Slow Lightning

It hit like lightning
like real slow lightning
It doesn't light you up
it only slows me down
ran out of grease
and grabbed the
molasses
now that's a conundrum
hope its strike soon passes

what

2.2385 : 11/13/11 : Better Judgment

Wrong about being right
right about being wrong
despite my better judgment
signing another numbers game song
an inauspicious date
a better one to come
no one could be much surprised
to hear I'm acting dumb
what's one more day hey
really one or two
will you remember
the one nice thing I said to you
least I'm not lit up
hitting fire or the booze
I gotta be a winner baby
because you just cannot lose

what

2.2384 : 11/12/11 : The Numbers Game

It's all been
the numbers game
and I say it ends tonight
asolipnd if you say it's just the same
Well I cannot dispute
my word on this
has ill repute
but still I stand to say it
this is the hand I intend to play it
you say it is a hard row
well I intend to hoe it hard
well I intend this solipsistic date
is a number
that will embed like a crystal shard
so i can relax on the
technicalities
one year will just lead to another
let he who waits
surprised, as he sees:

what

2.2383 : 11/11/11 : The Ultimate Cheat

Time travel is
the ultimate cheat
get ahead of everyone
get them all beat
anticipate success
I have not have not earned
aw the cost of it
Oh lord it burned
I listened to
the future of the all
I dreamed of redemption
I dreamed of the call
the song that sang to me
go back twenty years
have to relive the memories
have to relive the tears
but here in the future
it is pure and blessed
forgive me my time travel
the now I've messed

what

2.2382 : 11/10/11 : Fooled

I'm not fooled
I'm not foolin'
the moment is so right
not afraid to say
I'm droolin'
none will notice
none will care
I'm an army of one here
hell yeah I'm there
glad it went down this way
gambling on tomorrow guy
he won't get his bit to say
So the next 2x
is all blue sky
fooled the masses
fooled the set
the family will give me
the benefit of the doubt you bet
I'm not fooled
Yo I'm not foolin'
it all remains to be seen
from here on out
I'm coolin'

what

2.2381 : 11/09/11 : Cut

Surely not percentage
on thinking on all
the cuts I didn't make
might well be instructive
to think on the chances
I didn't take
what are my chances
what is the cut
that I am shooting
try to stay clean
I need my game
for what I'm executing
no rulers no bosses now
I alone am
responsible for the cut
and I'm in a bad place
my mind is full
of all yes, but

what

2.2380 : 11/08/11 : Too Much

When do you say too much
when do you say enough?
How do you choose what stays
and what gets thrown off the bluff
problems old as people
but has anyone solved
or just shuffled deck chairs
while disaster evolved
this race must say enough
this race must say too much
but we don't seem inclined
we've never had the touch
for being kind or thoughtful
being frugal or wise
and when the consequence comes
damn we'll still act surprised

what

2.2379 : 11/07/11 : First One

My lips said
the first one
ha ha ha
you fall for that?
don't peek - ah ah
not one spark left
to judge so far
First one done
and I'll not mar

what

2.2378 : 11/06/11 : Numbers

Well for sure it's had its ups and downs
I thought a long lie in would be a nice surprise
seemed to be working thought I was cheering up
but the numbers said otherwise
So tired of the numbers ruling my mood
but I've seen the wages of turning my back
and thought it makes for a rotten afternoon
I hump another month of numbers on the stack
no vacation no day off slacker
you will pay double for what you've already done
the numbers say no shoes no haircuts
the numbers say no toys no books no fun
so like I say it's got its ups and downs
You're tired of hearing about it I'm sure
I look night and day for a solution to the numbers
but for now they're just a thing I must endure

what

2.2377 : 11/05/11 : Pay

I guess I signed up for
this nasty day
I guess at some point
I said I would pay
If I don' like it
I can slap my own face
If I don't like it
I can fuck off into space
It will wear off
I'll regrow my liver
Odd times recall to mind
with just the slightest shiver
at this day's end
I will collect my pay
and meekly bring it home
yest just like everyday

what

2.2376 : 11/04/11 : Long Playing

long playing;
then comes being grup
hell did we sign up for this
this long bitter cup
I won't feel bad
I won't regret
I won't deny this
glory I could still get
here's to Paul
Apostle of what's real
don't give up
what might be is a sword of steel
such a good night
I hope it eases your soul
you are my everything
you are my burning coal

what

2.2375 : 11/03/11 : Arches

All kinds of futures
all kinds of dreams
these are the arches
these are the beams
I dreamed of a structure
in all my debris
I couldn't name a piece of it
that I could say was me
so many have purpose
a nice shining badge
me looking for any
quick touch I can cadge
look up for my arches
see nothing but trees
try to fit a future in
my parentheses

what

2.2374 : 11/02/11 : Real Things

I don't know that the good feeling
is coming back
oh you always feel that way
when you're having an attack
but if it all just really
swings and swings
what makes one or the other
the real things?
work and work because
the work is there
though you do not enjoy it
and your do not care
why buy there's a guarantee
of purpose or calling
might as well behave
that the sky is falling
raining, and pouring
bucketing down real things
piling up the edges as the troubadour sings
if it all just really
swings and swings
what makes one or the other
the real things?
What makes one or the other
the real things?

what

2.2373 : 11/01/11 : How Small

How dull the colors of the dreams
how small this list of things become
what happened who can take the blame
who gets to feel morose and dumb
I should be kicking should be pushing
trying to expand the sack
that's cinched me up and closed me in
and presses me from front to back
how small the little loops we plod
how dull the tarnished orb
how bland this porridge pabulum
this slouching fog that will absorb
what little color's left remaining
muffle and defeat my call
ensnare my feet and leave me lost
in this dull castle's keep so small

what

2.2372 : 10/31/11 : Running

Still running
yeah I guess
still trying for the perfect night
trying to feel blessed
the attitude
numbers and signs
the seen and unseen
the track and mine's
the well worn path
well worn worries
guess maybe I'm still
running from furies
say that's it
say wrap it up
say tomorrow tomorrow
I'll throw of this cup

what