2.1854 : 5/31/10 : Same Dream

Every day fail to balance on the beam
every night every night the same dream
or maybe only similar
It's all sure as hell familiar
Whatever I say tomorrow it won't mean a thing
No matter how long I push the pendulum will swing
And the same dream or similar harasses me
Every night I have to fight to let sleep happen to me
Every night I fight the same stupid little battle
Every day I sigh and climb back up into the saddle
Will this storm stop for a while now or just get worse
Is there any good damn reason for this curse
do I have the right to piss and moan just a little
you seem to have time
to listen to me rhyme
while you saw that fiddle

what

2.1853 : 5/30/10 : Crazy

We keep doing what we're doing
expecting a different result
someone said that that was crazy
But I say it's not our fault
Because when you run out of ideas
what else are you going to do
it doesn't matter if you know it's crazy
You can't stand to do nothing so you have to
do it all again and just feel crazy
do it until every reason's hazy
the sides the speeches the fighters and teachers
the acts and manifestos oh we're crazy creatures
way too late I think I see a different way
some other organization, no icons no leaders
who do I think I am just another crazy
how many have tried unseen unheeded
You can't change human nature
Which is crazy so we're doomed
concluded so went away and the
same old same old resumed

what

2.1852 : 5/29/10 : Waste

Here it goes again
and it's going to waste
miss another chance
to declare a place
as the landing strip
or the turning point
or the launch pad
or the cursed joint
So set by the way
tapping out and down
no chance of wrestling the future
to the fucking ground
hang that fucker up
Say you've seen his game
Say it makes no never
say it's all the same

what

2.1851 : 5/28/10 : Dark Path

The dark path again
the hard math again
I could say my head was spinning
but really nothing's moving
Unforeseen blank again
Back in the tank again
New fears still beginning
nothing here worth proving
going up then down
shake my cup in town
could you spare half a penny
brother are you getting any
lost the thread it's gone
drag this bed along
that I've left unmade
lie in dirt instead

what

2.1850 : 5/27/10 : Brief

State your case and make it brief
You'll not be asked again
the judge will render unto you
a reason for how when
You thought you were on the edge
of something like success
bad luck and more bad luck came
another crazy mess
there do you feel better now
with reason in your hand
no better off no real response
but leave the witness stand
the line is stretching out the door
they all want to state
their cases to the authority
we're sure you can relate

what

2.1849 : 5/26/10 : No Marker

No marker this time
no true count
no way to know or guess
the actual amount
is that a gimmick
some kind of trick
Regardless I'm just hoping
this time it will stick
So many so many
So how to believe
that I might still have
a surprise up my sleeve
one day and another
burn each bridge so carefully
leaving back no line or marker
what remains is only me

what

2.1848 : 5/25/10 : Throwaways

Having learned not one thing
from all the other throwaways
I hang the shame I'll wince at
in a couple thousand days

what

2.1847 : 5/24/10 : Power Trip

No defeat
I want a rising beat
and something to get
So many people on their feet
a tongue's slip
is it really just a power trip
Say you want to liberate
or just to have them in your grip
So hard to believe
with so many dead dreams to grieve
like it's going to fall together
when all the flesh starts to heave
hey I just want a little show
nowhere special, a dozen go
no power trip, talk right
over me after all what do I know

what

2.1846 : 5/23/10 : Bow

Tie every loose end
in a neat neat bow
throw the bottle far enough
hope you catch the undertow
I want every ending
to be happy, not sad
every little thing good
Why not? nothing bad
we get tons of realism
in this life
mountains of cold pragmatism
buying strife
I'll take a happy ending
when I'm feeling low
pack all up neatly and
deliver with a bow

what

2.1845 : 5/22/10 : Evidence

Cover up the evidence
of continued wasting of life
throw up a front, spare no expense
poke it and dig around with the knife
so full of venom
so full of rage
so empty of the wherewithal to fill another page
tick on like an old spring clock
I don't know what the hell is winding me
mulling over, taking stock
you're taking your damn good time finding me
one in a million means so little down here
means lost among the thousands
and one thing's clear
you've got to cover up the evidence
try to look important
it will mean nothing fifty years hence
So let's not talk about the elephant
standing by in this small room
also don't mention it's a tomb

what

2.1844 : 5/21/10 : Days

What is the story
of all these days that get away
doing something wrong I'm sure
but do not know what else to say
the story of the moment
to the moment is compelling
but when I try to justify
it just feels like I'm selling
and really who is buying it
anyone besides me?
selling a number
a title, some fantasy
the lone creator
the genius in his toil
praying something worthwhile
sprouts out of this base soil

what

2.1843 : 5/20/10 : Shameful

Too many reminders
of shameful little ditties
Why blazoned in capitals
the stupids and the pretties
any story of what it's for
crashes on the evidence
of random words and lines
that do not make a lick of sense

what

2.1842 : 5/19/10 : Status

Everybody's checking the status
It seems to be okay
knock on wood for now
check a little deeper another day
not what I expected no
Guess that it never is
always these reminders
Not my time, all His
Thank you for the status check in
thanks for asking after
hope in not too much time
I'll refer to it all with laughter

what

2.1841 : 5/18/10 : Suspend

Tonight I will not
suspend my disbelief
that it matters what
I pull out of the teeth
of grief
or the eternal thief
Tonight I'll take
Whatever I can get
and if you're the type
to place a bet
I'd caution you to let
your better judgement favor any debt

what

2.1840 : 5/17/10 : Recursion

Feel the pull of recursion again
its the nature of the universe
of life itself my friend
iterate, reiterate to no clear end
and speaking of endings, maybe
that's missing the whole point
the process is the whole show
no terminus or joint
Does that mean I'm fine?
Does that mean I'm a success
does that mean there's a silver lining
in this God-forsaken mess
Go over it and over it
ten years, ten more
soon a strange recursion of a young man's
knocking on my door

what

2.1839 : 5/16/10 : Monster of Impatience

I want to name this monster
of impatience for you so bad
my finest little friend
Because it will be too long
until you can finally
understand
I look for answers
in books and prayer
these days I'd try to
seek it anywhere
and I swear I will
get better
at making the monster tame
and until then I can only
remind you
it doesn't really
share my name

what

2.1838 : 5/15/10 : Cries

Everyone cries
even tough guys like me
all those billions and billions of tears
filled up the great salt sea
the world is so sad
and there's so little we can do
and asking why won't get you anywhere
that's something I know is true
Everyone cries
kings and presidents
Queens and parliaments
it makes no matter
they cry over movies
they cry over our graves
cry for the ones that nothing saves
over pages tears spatter
I cry when I need to
I cry when I must
but I often can't when I want to
I guess something to do with trust

what

2.1837 : 5/14/10 : Ghosts

I feel the ghosts of graves and guns
ghost of old pains
through my channels it runs
I said please make it easier
So you make it harder
honestly do you think
this ordeal's making me smarter
Because I don't feel smarter
I feel dumb as a spike
that got pounded on the wrong end
a good fifty strikes
and these ghosts swirling round
they aren't telling me squat
least of all who the hell's
bad luck I caught

what

2.1836 : 5/13/10 : Bright Side

Does your
two headed penny
have a bright side, bright side
heads you win, heads you win
which is my side?
reviewing past performance
I may not have been so great
at looking for the bright side
what would you say
has made me strong?
What would you say has made me well?
What makes me sick and weak and sad?
What makes this sour dust taste
What makes a prison cell
What makes us feel that we've been had?
Does your
two headed penny
have a bright side, bright side
heads you win, heads you win
which is my side?

what

2.1835 : 5/12/10 : A Word

Could I have a word with you
you Lord
if that's the word
for something that seems
only to wield silence
or a sword
the thing is
I can't make this
math work out
and this cheap postcard
I got sent seems
to smirk, pout,
sneer, disappear
Sorry I guess I can't remember
what the word was
and the answer always
seems to be just because
anyway
so it doesn't seem much worth it
to remember or say

what

2.1834 : 5/11/10 : Break Out

Break out today though some
bars I'll carry with me
some new some old I'm
hoping for renewing
of some old dreams dry dreams
stale and choked with dust
that nasty jolt we hit hurt
but it shook off some rust
no doubt there will be time
For the bright talk to lose its shine
but I'm used to the ups and downs
I can tell which voice is mine
and it's good enough now
to see the bright side in beating this bout
and getting up and getting home
and breaking out

what

2.1833 : 5/10/10 : Nomad Middle

In this nomad middle, a field
of dreams
some interesting some so dull
though sent in on the same beams
the nomad is me a solo traveler
of arid seas
and the middle well
this middle here
is the forest I can't see for the
trees

what

2.1832 : 5/9/10 : If This is What it Takes

If this is what it takes
to slow me down enforce a break
I guess I'm learning it
If the medium's the message
and the message is to stop
I guess I'm learning it
Well I didn't think I
would be quite so dense
I would wait so long
to get off the fence
but if this is what it takes
to lose a little control
I guess I needed that
Oh I recall so many
early warning calls
I wish I'd heeded that

what

2.1831 : 5/8/10 : I Would Say

I would say
this day has not
ended for me yet
and I did not
suspect even a
fraction of what I'd get
I will take my
free pass on this
small matter
not enough
to pain or
make my thoughts scatter
it's an experience
I can say that much for sure
not what I'd ask for
but you can't say it's not pure

what

2.1830 : 5/7/10 : Phone

Bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone: bitch please shut off your phone - just turn the damn thing off if you want to be left alone - just turn off your damn phone - bitch turn off your damn phone
If you look you'll find a little button on the top
Just hold it down and all those calls you're hating on will stop
And put it in your purse now that wasn't hard you see
and also on the plus side it will save your battery
Bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone: bitch please shut off your phone - just turn the damn thing off if you want to be left alone - just turn off your damn phone - bitch turn off your damn phone
hawking products in your videos makes you a whore
they may call it new burlesque, it's grinding on the floor
nothing at all there someone didn't do before
more hype more ads more clothing bads I thought there would be more
Bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone - bitch shut off your phone: bitch please shut off your phone - just turn the damn thing off if you want to be left alone - just turn off your damn phone - bitch turn off your damn phone
there's a button on the top that'll make it stop, turn off your goddamn phone
there's a button on the top that'll make it stop, turn off your goddamn phone

what

what

2.1829 : 5/6/10 : The Hole

Not feeling like suppressing
all the hate tonight
It's flowing fully freely
and I feel great tonight
prone to no vices
Yeah day zero again
I'm hammering on the gates
motherfucker let me in
Could I feel smaller
Sir, no, I could not
While you pull your force majeure
on one other's battle fought
to you sir is my deepest bow
my forehead hits the floor
and crashes right down through it
sorry I can't offer more
but the hate will keep me occupied
my hands from idle work
my eyes from seeking out offense
until I feel the jerk

what

2.1828 : 5/5/10 : Could Be the Start

This could be the start
of something good or bad
end up feeling like a King
or feeling I've been had
trying to take a step up and another
trying to take my own advice
just trying to find something that's good enough
I'd want to do it twice
It looks so much like the old
hard to convince myself it's new
it could really be the start
if I believed that was true
trying to take a step up and another
trying to take my own advice
just trying to find something that's good enough
I'd want to do it twice
I wrote the rest already
in a vision or a dream
though it seemed so much better there
such things are never as they seem
trying to take a step up and another
could be the start up to the top
just trying to find something that's good enough
that I never want it to stop

what

2.1827 : 5/4/10 : Slower

Harder time
is always slower time
I can almost appreciate
it
still the work chime
goes off constantly
and I am dragging see
as I try try try
to go about it patiently
couldn't be sweet, easy
and go slow too
another long turn around
another day is through
gone past in slower speed
stuffing in so much need
and I am the bullet now
only one voice I heed

what

2.1826 : 5/3/10 : Situation

I can't retreat I cannot stand
I can only sit here with a clenched hand
this situation what a mess
I should stop watching the news
and reading all these clever people
with their clever views
I try to do right I try to be just
but all around me all I hear is
must must must
they tell me what's necessary
it just doesn't seem right
and the situations been
keeping me up too many nights
I can turn off the box
I can stop the Reed
I wont' change anything anyway
maybe I get my chance to need
it doesn't quite satisfy
and it's sure no vacation
isn't that just like
the situation

what

2.1825 : 5/2/10 : Specifics

I'm ready to give up
on the specifics
I'm dreaming oh God
of the Pacific
That chance is gone
and it might be so long
before the creed
of possibility
sings me the next song
I should be happy
What the hell, I am
my daily quotient
of come-ons and spam
I'm not going to complain
or whine, or cry
I'll just stand up
and weep
'cause I'm a stand-up
guy

what

2.1824 : 5/1/10 : The Rats

In anticipation
of a quick collapse
stockpiling procedures
while the gentry claps
I suspect the system
can't adapt near fast enough
and you'll see the rats' abandonment
when it gets rough
some say we've got
comeuppance coming
doing the black tails
when we should be slumming
Well I just shrug my shoulders
and I shake my head
we've got our sins and privileges
but still we all wind up dead

what