Monday, September 30, 2019

2.2707 : 9/30/12 : Clever

Give be a big fat black marker
I've had enough of going dark to darker
I've had enough of being oh so serious
Ready to blow off the fog of the furious
     You could be oh so clever for sure
     and maybe end up as the jerk de jour
     but I am ready to try oh so nice
     I'll never break through well it's no big price
     I'm sick and tired of the clever smack
     And if I feel like no one's got my back
     It's an illusion and I know it's so
     Why not hum a little nice so la ti do
Give me a shredder tear the pages out
Want to be happy who care's what it's all about
want to be busy no time to think
about who the I thought I was or why the options stink
There I go again it's hard to change
Have to accept I may have found my range
Well nobody dies from keeping on trying
At least all the bustle will drown my sighing

what

Sunday, September 29, 2019

2.2706 : 9/29/12 : Required

It was my choice
to be required
who knows what
tangled strand
inspired
I can swivel
if I wish
it will not help
this little fish
I do a mediocre job
better than none
and who else volunteers
not anyone
if I could be content
to merely be required
If I could struggle from
this dismal place I'm mired

what

Saturday, September 28, 2019

2.2705 : 9/28/12 : Hoarders

Stock piles of batteries and gold
no damn trees
and you can't burn those when you're cold
the hoarders are in charge these days
and the wicked world
reflects their ways
the world was a cornucopia
of delights
self regulating
ocean depths to majestic heights
but the hoarders want
to sew it all up
for a sense of security
false cure for the half filled cup
I'm done buying in
to the dismal myth of scarcity
I'm not going to try
to drag half the world along with me
immediately
I'm smashing into the hoard
I'll get real wild on you
well at least I won't be bored

what

Friday, September 27, 2019

2.2704 : 9/27/12 : Backwards

Do things backwards for a change
see if the change up feels strange
what is hope when it's reversed
how is the relife uncursed
from general to specific
from terrible to terrific
Can't actually tell anything I bet
oh I'll find that formula yet

what

Thursday, September 26, 2019

2.2703 : 9/26/12 : Stuck

Imagine totally free
some undulating creature in the sea
change its stripes
change its spots
do you like to recognize patterns
I've got lots
flowing like a flowing analogy
the river of cliché
into the story sea
and the freedom cuttlefish
that floats inside
I just finally figured out
how I got took for this ride
circling the circling
metaphor
El oh el I stepped
through the möbius door
tried hard to make it
about something outside and true
but I'm stuck in this damn room
so why the hell not you

what

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

2.2702 : 9/25/12 : Trash

Nothing to do
but take out the trash
bite into anything at all
and just thrash
hope it's a doldrums
not the crushing end
string about a thousand words
along and hit send

what

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

2.2701 : 9/24/12 : Times Like This

Times like this I really wish
the brain was as wired different somehow
I'd like to paint a picture
but it seems I don't know how
Don't know how to do anything
but dance around the words
couldn't you just scramble it all
send me out with the herds
Times like this exit the fugue
familiar walls familiar weight
Easy enough to string along
a meager meal of words on the dainty plate
No longer seems much better than nothing
and sure as hell it's not enough
and you just keep slinging pinpricks
Times like this I better come back hard and rough

what

Monday, September 23, 2019

2.2700 : 9/23/12 : Left of Me

First did I want to be important
First did I want to be good
How did I think of what I ought
And is that the same as should
I listen to my betters
even as I do my worst
And when I try not to do
It bears down just like a thirst
And if I stopped asking, grasping
What on earth would I be
Put away so many things
So what is left of me:
a vicious tongue
turned inside out
so every lash
I get a clout
worries borrowed
begged and stolen
a life that feels
like a semicolon

what

Sunday, September 22, 2019

2.2699 : 9/22/12 : Work

Work work only want the work
what a jerk only want to shirk
Is it the work or is the fault mine
Did opportunity offer
did I decline
do I simply not work hard enough
did I shirk and slack and slough
Should I say tomorrow I'll be better
Should I write it to myself in a letter

what

Saturday, September 21, 2019

2.2698 : 9/21/12 : Sick Persecution

Sick persecution fantasy
Be gone away with thee
Get to the back lord Satan
Gosh why must you be hating
I only want to sing and dream
you seem to want to see me scream
I only want a thousand superfans
I'm down from a million
Such humble plans

what

Friday, September 20, 2019

2.2697 : 9/20/12 : No Lesson

No lesson learned
no even worse burned
old responses insufficient
but at least all still efficient
let go the mob
cast free into the ebb and throb
making a go pray on easy rest
the first five minutes really is a test

what

2.2696 : 9/19/12 : Rough

Rough days
and no use protesting
I didn't ask for
those problems a' nesting
I can knock out one
at least and then retire
just for the night
you understand
then back into the fire

what

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

2.2695 : 9/18/12 : Hamsters

Hamsters got bigger
wheels than this
money fear of sickness
the elusive search for bliss
fear of evil fear of want and war
Is that all it's really for?
How much can get filed
under the end of everything
used to be at least
when I was dead I could stop stressing
not anymore
my obligations are immortal
and require insurance
even past the doomsday portal
at some point you just stop caring
for your far flung progeny
don't know if that's pragmatic
or reveals misanthropy
like hamsters in a warren
that just stretches on and on
fair enough it's not like they
will care about me when I'm gone

what

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

2.2694 : 9/17/12 : Imaginary

Far and far gone in
imaginary conversations
fretting did I step too far
reveal private intimations
frankly I was led astray
by the cut of the blouse
oh what a plaster saint
oh what a louse
I'm only human then
I bleed when I'm cut
I get my hackles up
I mutter huh and what
not happy with the hole
imaginary soup to nuts
but what I have to work with's
all I have to fight these ruts

what

Monday, September 16, 2019

2.2693 : 9/16/12 : Forget

If I could oh
really forget myself and tomorrow
What a proof against
a world of sorrow
I said I'd do it
this very day
isn't what I always say
why the looking in
What am I seeking
why looking ahead
I can't shake this sneaking
feeling it all comes to fear
and lashing out at ghosts
to forget the only antidote
ironic what I fear the most

what

Sunday, September 15, 2019

2.2692 : 9/15/12 : Choices

Can't think of nothing
but the choices
that make me sick
and only salesmen
want to know what makes me tick
to think there was a time
I thought I should
hear all the voices
now it's so clear
it was always all about choices
and I'm wrecked
weary from choices I made
didn't seem much at the time
well that's how the piper
gets paid
and I will choose to
go out with that
not very tidy
but that choice is old hat

what

Saturday, September 14, 2019

2.2691 : 9/14/12 : Autonomy

Oh heavens will I dare
to point my finger
The question's in the air
unspoken accusations linger
of the matter of autonomy
and it's nothing that you said to me
but the way that
certain things were written
and I guess you thought
You knew that I was smitten
well it was something but not quite that, dear
and anyway I heard your signals loud & clear
But that aside
I have to say
that I never did stand
in the light of your own way
and if I demure
that each thing will be fine
well it's just that you have your way
and I have mine

what

Friday, September 13, 2019

2.2690 : 9/13/12 : Proscribed

With the crackling probe of light
imagination described
I test each inch of the perimeter
by which I am proscribed
I droned so very long
about the state of limitation
then the moment that I
came to terms with my situation
All things are proscribed
freedom requires it
either that or mere explosion
and hell we're smoking in the pyre's pit
So it is my will no other
that put the locks upon the gates
I see him standing at the open door
and still he hesitates

what

Thursday, September 12, 2019

2.2689 : 9/12/12 : Battle

I get the battle for
the center self
open hearted
unarmored
awake: how
it all started
but still
why must we
battle so
and don't these
cages
rattle though?
I keep on getting
up and
fighting on
but it doesn't feel
like victory
or like I'm writing wrong

what

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

2.2688 : 9/11/12 : Crowd

Asked the crowd
and the crowd shrugged,
maybe
Isn't how I thought
it would
turn out baby
they were right
about one thing
it isn't an end
but something else beginning

what

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

2.2687 : 9/10/12 : Explain Belief

Why in the world
try to explain belief
rhetoric will steal away
your answer like a thief
No one wants to understand
they just want to critique
why try to bust through that brick wall
why bust up the mystique
If I'm not trying to proselytize
I'm I'm not trying to preach
If I foresee a clear or clever
answer's right out of my reach
Why in the world explain belief
maybe just want to talk
maybe want to think of Dad
try to understand his walk

what

Monday, September 09, 2019

2.2686 : 9/9/12 : Real Attentive

What kind of life and wherever should I live
Things that were taken, things I give
I searched till dawn, face pale and drawn
Trying to reveal the real alternative
Nor just another tale of the seeking
Nor a complaint, at these crumbs I'm eking
no not a word, a voice I've never heard
not of the real alternatives speaking
And how I dreamed I saw its holy face
Heard its bell, and knew its dwelling place
walked in its land, It came out to my hand
Oh how I dreamed I'd carried through my race
What kind of life, wherever should I live
Things that were taken, things I give
And I search still, and say I never will
And still pine for the real alternative

what

Sunday, September 08, 2019

2.2685 : 9/8/12 : Any Work Will Do

It cannot be that any
work will do
surely the shovel
digs me no closer to you
It cannot be
but I don't know how to choose
When I feel no matter
what I ever do I lose
It must be wrong
It must be all on me
Some stark command
that I refuse to see
and is that just my
brutal superstitious mind
a useless faith that
is both dumb and blind
nothing but killing time
and getting through
If so I guess that
any work will do

what

Saturday, September 07, 2019

2.2684 : 9/7/12 : Protocol

I forgot the protocol
I don't have any time at all
and if it worked I
wouldn't be in this mess anyway
I know I lost it throwing dice
I lost it once I lost it twice
all that long dry time
I should have been making hay
gosh my head hurts gosh it's late
almost back to square one so great
thank goodness no the day
doesn't apply to my kind
try not to see the news
never to express any views
now if I could just likewise
disconnect my mind

what

Friday, September 06, 2019

2.2683 : 9/6/12 : What I Pine For

Why can't I get behind
the comfort the relief
of unexamined faith
of purely blind belief
my brainy version's
never going to catch on
ever present doubts
scabs for the mind
to scratch on
Whatever could qualify
as a real turning point
Some twisting in my heart
Some pressure in my joint
Some outside circumstance
in secret what I pine for
wishing to believe in purpose
if faith for what mine's for

what

Thursday, September 05, 2019

2.2682 : 9/5/12 : Someone Good

Someone good
like my man said
reaping what I sow
and I guess until I'm dead
I'll have to try to make bread
from that dubious seed
please don't snuff my smoking wick
or break off my battered reed

what

Wednesday, September 04, 2019

2.2681 : 9/4/12 : Correct

Neither upright nor correct
no doubt how the turning point gets wrecked
back to lurking fearing doom
more minutes I stay in this room
more days thy foe squats in the wild
come listen to his tale my child
the rebel, the unseemly eel
that lurked and gave us such a feel
no this is not correct I think
he fooled someone with magic drink
perhaps it was a slice of pie
I look but can't quite see the lie
but anyway it's we're bad
and always feel at being glad
but cheer up there's another tale
a correct word a way from fail
the tale of the gathered light
I'll tell to you another night

what

Tuesday, September 03, 2019

2.2680 : 9/3/12 : Labor

Speak of labor, toil under the sun
did I slack off opportunity
thinking I was just the one
No matter how I sift through
every choice with such a tiny comb
I cannot find another path
that doesn't, too, blow up my home
ready for labor
or I say I am
just confused
helpless little lamb
just worn out
such a trying day
just working up the courage
or so I say oh so I say
speak of labor, shut up and do
What else can I hope
but something turns up true
Because I've never understood
the trick of knowing how
to tease the devil from the details
to set down then and get with now

what

Monday, September 02, 2019

2.2679 : 9/2/12 : Thoughts of Thoughts

Instead of thinking of
the thoughts of thoughts
trying to non-ado
the fresh onslaughts
I'm going to drift and dally
I'll dust your dish up pally
apply a little of the
universal solvent of let be
and trust this little reed boat
to the living stream of melody

what

Sunday, September 01, 2019

2.2678 : 9/1/12 : The Hell

No matter how sweet I tune
that bell
it's the same strike
the same what the hell
find a different explanation
for the general strike
no better off
all days alike
all songs alike
a horrid tale
a no account bum
called Ishmael
who couldn't find the hours
to hit the heights
and here I am again
God I hate these nights

what