Friday, December 31, 2010

The end of the beginning

The first songs of day project is nearing the end, just five songs to go. I'm trying to remember how I felt about the whole thing at the time. Ten years ago is a long time, though, and I was no longer keeping a journal at the time so I have no record appeal to. I recall being pretty caught up in my work situation, a condition that persisted for another couple of years. My never particularly robust aspirations to make some kind of a serious go at making music had definitely been pretty well cracked up on the rocks at that point. I think I was satisfied with my final songs. I don't think I felt much if any conflict about the project ending.

It is a weird, other world viewed through a lens of historical distortion, both personal and societal history. Before marriage, before child, before a gang of suicidal monotheistic zealots attained some fundamental change in this country, or maybe just better exposed a rot, a flaw that had been there from the beginning. Or maybe just opened my eyes more thoroughly to this thoroughly rotten world, I don't know. Before the world changed, again, and definitively not for the better. Before the turn of the century, and the beginning of this unpromising and fragile new one, in which I have been so thoroughly disappointed, now poised to commence the start of its tenth year. And me hoping as always for a better path, a better plan, some new philosophy, but for now left only with the one borrowed from another, to push on.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

1 comment:

Jennifer S. said...

to push on. we'll figure out pretty soon what it means. and meanwhile, happy new year! friends are what i have, really interesting people who surpass their surroundings, and i'm grateful. peace to you,
jen