2.2478 : 2/14/12 : Theater

Time to crank the theater up
put on the show of shows
and I will watch and shake my head
and that's how power goes
the dumbness and repression
the bedrock gets ignored
do nothing about nukes or the nation
of prisoners, hell yeah I get bored
I suppose I should be on the street
getting my holy pepper spray
I suppose I'm all excuses too
but I've got so much to do today
so even though I don't believe in
anybody in the race any longer
I'll watch the show go to
the theater
as the wave of inevitability
grows stronger

what

2.2477 : 2/13/12 : Natural

What comes natural
I thought I'd see it and
ring it like a bell
really everything's like
greased up smoke
for most of us
it's not a funny joke
and all this thing has
wound round too
a cringe inducing
beggar's point of view
only natural
to look for a way up
and am I ignoring
an obviously full cup?

what

2.2476 : 2/12/12 : The Sign of Out

Not labeled exit
not lit up red
the sign of out
it only said
dare not return
repent and fly
get out and gone
next stop blue sky

what

2.2475 : 2/11/12 : A Novel

Do I have to write a damn novel
to show I'm not special
to show I've got nothing
and I'm doomed to schlub
it won't make me special
every jerk does it
I'm not looking forward
to joining that club
It will be about a wizard
who lives on a spaceship
he's got a hot girlfriend
but he's in a fierce bind
his magic is messed up
his girlfriend is missing
and he can't get his novel
off of his mind

what

2.2474 : 2/10/12 : How To Find Out

Find out how to find out
what is missing what flew by
find out how to listen
how to try to try
And if I never give up
Yet don't find out till I die
It wasn't all for nothing
And none of it was a lie
And I'd rather be happy
and I'd rather be rich
nobody's selling that snake oil
I've got no one to pitch
And nobody to ask
How to find out anything
about how to find a way through
yeah sorry it's so boring

what

2.2473 : 2/9/12 : Regret

Every regret
add to the pile
not time for a bet
just time for a smile
In just twelve hours
a Change will begin
and no more regrets
the whole pile in the bin

what

2.2472 : 2/8/12 : Wire

Wire of pain
threaded through the gut
not exactly what I
signed up for but
certainly not meta-
maybe some content for the grist mill
sometime when I'm feeling better
what is the wire fashioned of
and who placed it
the culprits are myself my father and God
the question is
could any have erased it
the question is how do we live with
the pain that is inseparable
form life and all the word enfolds
the damage of the wire, irreparable

what

2.2471 : 2/7/12 : Nothing But Thoughts

Nothing but thoughts of having
nothing but thoughts
to think about
I need material
something new or pretty soon
there'll be a rout
ain't it something
ain't it a gas
you know this round
I think I better pass
let's get down
so funky and fresh
well mainly funky really
so sunk in the flesh
yet so damned cerebral
really it's a lost cause
like so much we keep after
without a hint of pause

what

2.2470 : 2/6/12 : Option

The best seller
the movie option
more dreaming crazy
the big co-option
it's all just
ideas on the wire
throw them in the mental trash can
throw them in the mental fire
give up and sell out
lord give me the strength
or else show me the options
and tell me at what length

what

2.2469 : 2/5/12 : Peace

Give me omens that I
want to believe in
give me a notion that it's
all about to begin
that I will soon fall
into a sweet release
and find nothing after
but a fine long peace
whatever work comes to my hand
the work of the cooperative
the work of the band
peace is all I want out of anything
no not recognition
no not a golden ring
once I felt a peace
that passed understanding
it wasn't an end of anything
it wasn't undemanding
I still had to pull up stakes
I still had to pack
it wasn't a turning point
but I still want it back

what

2.2468 : 2/4/12 : Dull

Is it dull is it mundane
is it a bad view through
a grubby windowpane
does it follow a
predictable beat
does it take you down
the same old street
not the path to fortune surely
I pout and sulk so immaturely
I tip my glass
not it's none full
and whine some more
it's all so dull

what

2.2467 : 2/3/12 : Just World

Just world here
we haven't talked in a while
why not see a bit of me
why not walk a mile
not on a treadmill son
not in your basement yo
why not look out of doors
why not get up and go
it's not a just world true
it is not fair or right
but beautiful at times
at times so open, bright

what

2.2466 : 2/2/12 : Optimism

Optimism optimism look at my side
you'll never find one lighter
privilege ain't the half of it
there's no future that's brighter
what a nasty load life tipped
well buddy I just skipped away
I'd like to help you take care of tomorrow
but I'm so busy living in today
optimism have I got it
like a royal flush in hearts
must be what makes me make the rain
makes me so much greater than my sum of parts
I will not stand for a dark world
a minor chord or a frown
I get lit up so naturally
nothing ever seems to get me down
share a smile with the optimist
so much nicer this side of the street
look a half full day to dance away
and for certain it will be a treat

what

2.2465 : 2/1/12 : Obfuscate

And if I didn't try at all
to obfuscate my sentiment
I worry about my health
how I'll fund my retirement
about the world I'll hand my kid
how little I control
how the years just batter on
on how they take their toll
and how ambitions wane
how most dreams get deferred
and whether I am a privileged jerk
when I appropriate such words
oh obfuscate please obfuscate
It's so dull and uncool
cover it and muddle it
I'm never going back to school
I'll never have that chance again
So many chances blown
So many fogs that fall and hide
whatever I have truly sown

what

2.2464 : 1/31/12 : Letting Go

Let me believe
it is only that I need
to be letting go
to end the night
to plant the seed
it's hard to turn away
from the long investment
so much regret
so much resentment
but letting go
will start the ball rolling
let me believe
all the while the great bell
keeps tolling

what

2.2463 : 1/30/12 : Groove

How very badly I need a new groove
This self reproach
this thing I think I need to prove
I get tired just thinking about
All the searching and achieving
boy I need to get out
nothing comes natural
to me anymore
pretending not to be home
at the knock at the door
did I recognize opportunity
once I don't know
But these days for sure
I can say that it's no no no
How very badly this world needs a new
groove
Been nothing new a long time
this thing just have to move
Don't look at me
I've got no keys for this heap
and what we guilty fools have sown
The innocent will likely reap

what

2.2462 : 1/29/12 : Seeing Stone

I cannot look into
this seeing stone
a minute more
I can't afford to
sit around and think
of what's in store
I can't afford to let
my mind get taken
even if it's true
whatever comes
will come and I must
think only of you
It was unfair
anyway I simply
was not equipped
happy to follow
just tell me who
and when our our crew gets shipped

what

2.2461 : 1/28/12 : Contigency

Switch to the
contingency
we will not change
not one degree
So face it and
prepare for change
it surely comes
it's in close range

what

2.2460 : 1/26/12 : Minute Man (II)

Every lost minute
man every day
I'm sorry and
I'm sorry
but nothing to say
again no material
nothing that's new
so just the slightest bow
a bit of please
and thank you
whatever I had once
what was lost
eaten by rust
or covered in frost
consumed in darkness
or plain exploded
I'd like to ask whose fault
but the question's
so loaded

what

2.2459 : 1/26/12 : Minute Man (I)

Wait a minute man
weren't we supposed to
Oh I forgot
now what was I
supposed to
It's hard to argue
it's going somewhere
when you keep asking
but it's only fair
but I've got to answer
it's a tough one i'n'it
and I've got to
leave it right this minute

what

2.2458 : 1/25/12 : Turned

What if the worm already turned
and it turned against me
and the best already came and went
what if you told me that and convinced me
let hope fly out of the box and then what
another day another worm turns in my gut
this saying this can't go on
Can't go on so stop already
the middle passage is arrived
what else is there but holding steady
What can I say I will be there
I'll say I was there while the chances burned
I'll say I was there when we did nothing
I'll say I was there when the worm turned

what

2.2457 : 1/24/12 : Neo

Everything Neo
And everything post
Is a whole bunch of
what I hate most
I want my own thing
not reference
I want your truth
not your deference
everything neo is
just retreaded old
when a thing goes post
what's left is fools gold
What chance of a reboot
of a real turning
not new not after
it's now that I'm yearning

what

2.2456 : 1/23/12 : Tale

You put a stone on me
a heavy stone on me
and now I'm bending like a reed
as you can clearly see
what's the point of it all
the garden and the fall
and all who get sent off
and just to wait to hear the call
I will not stand for it
and be unmanned for it
high as you are I'll tell you plain
there's no demand for it
And explanations pale
and wonderments must fail
and if you want up on that boat
you need to float a better tale

what

2.2455 : 1/22/12 : Changes

looking for the exit
from what?
Nothing ever stops or starts
but
The pieces get moved around
sometimes ground
So far down
it's like they really disappear
no thing ever can
of course
but truly they're not here
and changes may not
mean a lot
but we must
take what we can get
don't count those chickens
it's not as if we've done it yet

what

2.2454 : 1/21/12 : Light

Ironically the problem
maybe how I'm
pressing light into my eyes
ironically coherent
in the sense of being
full of very pretty lies
Half failing half succeeding
I could be worse but I'm not good
and my eyes are basting
in this light
if you've got anything to tell me
I really wish you would

what

2.2453 : 1/20/12 : For Light

Am I looking in all the wrong
places for light
underneath the brass bed
on the wrong side of right
Though I read that the light
in the dark was the word
I could not find the place
where the thing could be heard
am I fleeing the light
and its obvious source
Am I just holding out
till the thing runs its course
the light in the darkness
the pitch of the bell
on a black painted sign
at the bottom of a well

what

2.2452 : 1/19/12 : Karmic Debt

This must be karmic debt
that lines up so neat
like ducks on a street
Every situation like
the next
and how it got hexed
Failed when it was easy
now stuck with it hard
you'd think the devil
would be showing up
with a brochure and
a business card
will I discharge
this karmic debt
in this life
maybe not
there is nowhere else
to be
and there's no one else
but me
and it feels like I've fouled up
my one shot

what

2.2451 : 1/18/12 : Crummytown

There's said to be a corner
somewhere in crummy town
with a sign for a stop
sometimes a bus comes down
could I line up with the trippers
could I get a glimpse of it
that there is somewhere else to be
somewhere I might fit
oh how I dream of the chances
oh how I envy those who make it
oh how I wonder if my chance came
and if I somehow failed to take it
oh how I wish to feel something
besides a frown
it's impossible stuck
in this crummy town

what

2.2450 : 1/17/12 : Looks Like

Looks like I blew the continuity again
and the thing has gone all meta
on itself again
looks like there's nothing much to me
except the blah blah blah
looks like plan b has got no farther
than the la di dah
It's all looking more and more
like another bad habit
what the hell else do you want me
to give up dag nabbit
why can't you just leave me alone
just take a hike
Because I can't do a damn thing
about what this looks like

what

2.2449 : 1/16/12 : Endless River

The degree to which
I haven't got this
is it me or the muse
which is remiss
I'm tired of the conversation
in my head
or on the wire
once upon a time there was
if not more than illusion
at least inner fire
and the endless river
does not care
and nobody gives a damn
if it all goes nowhere
So why should I do anything
but fuck it and float free
why indeed
well now what you ask me

what

2.2448 : 1/15/12 : Void

The loss of last vices
leaves the void alone at last
with the erosion of the notion
I would ever be an iconoclast
me and the void up close and personal
its silent ringing hollow
nothing but space no place in the place
and its lesson far too much to swallow
when did I ever not carry it with me
when did it not warp my flow
What did it leave as a trace on the plate
only hard radiation will show
But wherever they look
and by whatever light
They'll not see the void inside
it doesn't show up sure it's strictly
a rumor that cuts deep and
wide

what

2.2447 : 1/14/12 : Hunger

When philosophy fails
the hunger remains
and so the striving
remains a refrain
the object is hazy
but the hunger is sharp
and it bangs ever discordant
on this tacky gilded harp
and the creaky tune it cranks out
doesn't please even a little
it's just hunger sawing out
the standard plot on its
wrecked fiddle

what

2.2446 : 1/13/12 : Revolution

Is this the revolution then
or does it start
when I stop waiting for ends
and beginning
just more bends
extra innings
and if every way
was blocked and dammed
and the power was cut
and the signal jammed
if the revolution was
not caught on tape
would it move any faster
would anyone escape?

what

2.2445 : 1/12/12 : Power Bar

Could I get some power
in the form of a bar
something stamped with a star
something formulated
in an eldricht lab
Cthulu's power snack's
what I always grab
on my way to the horror
of the twilight sea
available in convenient
packages of three
always a good time
to feast on insanity
the only power bar
that makes you shriek oh the humanity

what

2.2444 : 1/11/12 : Material

What am I supposed to build
without material
how am I supposed to sail
this sea mercurial
the asking of these questions
just goes on and on
and the night's not young nor old
but the thrill is gone

what

all been about the tall tale

And so there it is, the halfway point of the songs of day, project two. 5,000 down and 5,000 to go.  For a while I thought about trying to concoct some sort of fanfare around it, and I can't say that I really decided concretely not to: the truth is at the moment I just don't have the wherewithal. The full explanation of which could take a while: don't have the wherewithal for that either. And then there is the fact that I suspect that at this point, truly nobody is reading this. That or really nearly almost nobody. If you're out there, you don't seem to have anything to say about it. Which is fine, honestly. Fairly Secret was my call, and so it continues.

As a small concession I decided to run the continuity, a practice I let fall by the wayside quite a long while back now. It turns out I am on the longest run of unbroken songs without a miss, I think for the whole shooting match so far, first project included. It hasn't been a particularly conscious effort: my goal is always to hit it every day. I don't know what's behind the standout numbers. Maybe nothing of note.

So I could say so much more but leave it at that, and back to the unremarked and fairly secret posting. Stay kind and take care of each other, if there's anybody out there.

what

2.2443 : 1/10/12 : Value

: 5,000 : 191



What is the damn
secret of value
why can't you just
do what I tell you
I better not have to
talk to you about this again
you better change
you better win
well if not that
then what dad
well if not good
what else but bad
excuse me for wanting
just everything
for wanting to do nothing
or only sing

what

2.2442 : 1/9/12 : Canon

The final argument
of the king of sleep
the bad company
in these dreadful hours I keep
making the list
the wonderful list
of the canon
I won't get rich on it
oh no I'll get no fame
looks like I'm stuck
playing a longer
and harder game
maybe my mind's
incomplete bridge
will find a hook in there
to hang its span on

what

2.2441 : 1/8/12 : Moonshine

It's not illegal yet
to roll your own information
write your own song
throw your own beats down
you know it's all about reiteration
man this moonshine
it ain't smooth
but it's rocket fuel sure enough
like to get a little high
on my own supply
when the going gets a little rough
too much now
that's not allowed
they ought to let the old boys distill
but it's not my fight
I've got my own dusk to light
my own moonshine to run
off the grist I mill

what

2.2440 : 1/7/12 : The Reactionary

The poor confused reactionary
in me can't decide
where exactly we want to
get back to on this ride
the high school crush
the college trip
the job that beat our mind up
what state would correct the flow
of where we're going to wind up
Are we looking for
a time machine
or just the feeling of a time
when our hands were clean
or is the reactionary
really just on a nostalgia trip
fuck it
let's get started
time travelling
watch: the switch flip

what

2.2439 : 1/6/12 : Reaction

Is it just the reaction
reaction
no pause to calibrate
no rest to
reset
no return to the
steady state
this chain
has got to be cut short
I'll never
carry such a span
and so
one last
lament abort
and stuff
one last reel
in the can

what

2.2438 : 1/5/12 : Options

looking for options
between give up and go crazy
not doing what I say
not sure it's just I'm lazy
just not knack I can find
for catchy and light
for not diving in the grim
for not staying up all night
old temptations and vices
no easy escapes or shortcuts
so much work lost in the flux
so much time lost in the ruts
how does this measure up
nothing fancy or extreme
something to walk away from
look for options in a dream

what

2.2437 : 1/4/12 : Joyride

Not enough joy
in the ride ride ride
Thinking maybe I let the
wrong things slide slide slide
If I want to get past
my previous best
just show me where to take
which test
the twinges and the
tingling are not what you think
can't spare another minute
to that sink
I want the ride
and I want it now
and that was where
I staked my vow

what

2.2436 : 1/3/12 : CAT

I ought to emulate my cat
which makes a plaything
out of any this and that
who falls asleep
at the drop of a hat
in a sunbeam in the afternoon
I ought to cultivate
the mind of a child
I've got a great example
so free and wild
and it makes me feel bad
for all the cares I've piled
up
but I'm going to get
better
soon

what

2.2435 : 1/2/12 : On the Wire

The stream uncrossed
the die uncast
oh don't look on
forget the past
and if I don't find a thing
in the flux
I might be wishing real hard
I'd lined up all my ducks
always in the maelstrom
no control
let's build a bigger bomb
burn up more coal
that's it I've had it
with this garbage on the wire
I'll rule that realm no more
tonight I retire

what

2.2434 : 1/1/12 : Start

Lose the plot
and fall asleep
something in my mindset
the company I keep
get sad in the morning
with the bread and the wine
hope with a good eight
to be feeling kind of fine
off to a so so start
don't want to talk about it
dumb arbitrary numbers
will it add up I doubt it
and still it is a start
well a continuation
and still the only place I've got
to look for recreation

what

2.2433 : 12/31/11 : The Inheritance

Count my inheritance
at year's end
no hint of presence
no message shall send
we're on our own on this side
so goes the battle
So goes the ride
a little silver, no gold
and this love hate I've got on
with lucre's getting old
not like I'm wanting
was expecting much
just another one of
the kinds of straws I clutch
gird up I tell myself
time to begin
this is your inheritance
to stand up again and again
maybe there's a golden treasure
to find in it all yet
keep that one close to my heart
while I cast my net

what

2.2432 : 12/30/11 : Wishes

If I believed in wishes
I would wish to
want to
be cut down
to a simple stalk
no branches
no renown
my complexity
isn't worth
a disc of lead
and all the thinking
rattling around
fills me with
existential dread
throw the coin in
rub the lantern
tear it up and feed it
to the fishes
hey somebody
hey somebody
listen to my wishes

what

2.2431 : 12/29/11 : Click

Fiddle and fool and
click click click
till your elbow or
your shoulder gets sick
concentration shot
creativity
the dirty little secret
is it's all teevee
Oh what will I
What will I do instead?
clean and repair
eat the daily bread
take a grab at the
longer end of the stick
sit and stare and wait
for something inside to click

what

2.2430 : 12/28/11 : Vague Spiritual

I've had enough of the fluff
the vague spiritual bluff
the little here and the little there
the trust in the trust and you'll
if when you where
real advice is hard to come by
you know I'm not just some dumb guy
but I feel pretty foolish lately
page after page of stilted stately
structure God it all sounds the same
only so many rhymes in the game
and if the turn of phrase doesn't sing
it isn't really anything

what

2.2429 : 12/27/11 : The Attitude

The attitude:
is perfect or
perfectly terrible
is it really the end
and the be all
deep down was I
seeking the message of doom
prefer the
comforting numbness
of guaranteed gloom
is there anything to change?
nothing to see here
it's all an accident
that much is clear

what

2.2428 : 12/26/11 : Sea of Stories

I declared that tales would end
no anticipation nothing round the bend
Tried to make it work for a month or so
Man in a ship said it just won't sail you know
How long since I touched my peaceful ocean
How long despite the sense of constant motion
I tell you God it's ten long years
the stuff of stark though still lesser fears
I tried your histories I tried your allegories
There's nothing left for it
but to return to the sea of stories
There's no such thing as bad luck
only suffering and resolve
only walking in the moment
there is nothing you can solve
and the world does not need saving
and it has no destination
and there is no difference between
vacation or incarceration
or anyway that is the line
of the strange bird that quarries
the deep unfathomed ocean caves
far under the sea of stories

what

2.2427 : 12/25/11 : Magical

When did magic
get such a bad name
call me childish
I should be ashamed
the world is not alive
you get hooked by the
crudest jive
already I'm sick
of the topic
So typical
So unphilosophic
a couple steel rings
a cardboard tube
hey what happened to
the handkerchief, rube
all the tricks I
threw out along the way
a magical life
doesn't really sound that way

what

2.2426 : 12/24/11 : Organizer

Now to me to be

the organizer
picking up this thing
you dropped
not quite my size,
there
isn't anything
for that though
nothing for
a lot of things;
So it's said to go

what

2.2425 : 12/23/11 : Chain

String the chain
over the range once more
off the reservation
scrambling on shore
under fire taking
heavy loss
and still storming
you can't deny
by the numbers
still performing

what

2.2424 : 12/22/11 : Patterned

Patterned with the
marks of all the
repetitions
iterations
tired of the
sober discourse
all the philosophic
conversations
Don't know nothing
going nowhere
no percentage
in griping
sniping
scrambling through
the piping
but then
what the hell am I hyping?

what

2.2423 : 12/21/11 : Checkered

Another contribution
to the checkered history
my
hit or miss
my story
I tell you man
Most don't hit the target
Most of us take
what we can get
What the hell
do I need
if not a plan?

what

2.2422 : 12/20/11 : Diptych 2

Sad mother
afflicted son
all so universal
what's the deal with everyone
getting all iconoclastic
as if your joint's an less plastic
today take me on familiar tides
trip as familiar as Disney rides
annunciation
transubstantiation
beatification
and of course mortification
the diptych logic merciless
think I can leave you to infer the rest

what

2.2421 : 12/19/11 : Diptych 1

The tree in bloom
the tree bare
the stone angels
who only stare
the diptych heaven
the right hand hell
more a sketch than a painting
but oh well

what

2.2420 : 12/18/11 : Draw a Line

Draw a line under
a pack of mean days
such a great excuse
it's worth that anyways
it's not a great story
well sure I'm pretty small
laid low by the heavy line
and can't draw up the sum at all

what

2.2419 : 12/17/11 : The Narrative

If not the narrative then what
the repetition and the rut
the inward meditative trance
the fumbling for the being dance
a sickness drops the hammer
hear my little scribblers yammer
lost the story of why for my trying
lost in his storyless dying
so tired and so unstoried
pining to be enriched and gloried
instead the miasmas hit me
you want me back damnit come
and get me

what

2.2418 : 12/16/11 : Exit the Only

Exit the only
solution to the lonely
state of utter sickness with
the state of all this rhetoric
unable to decide a thing
the bottom of
the denominator
just keeps dropping
words won't fix
good will is spent
and the movement
is a revenant
tell me there's no
way to go
tell me as if
I didn't know
retreat within
discrete, within
unspeaking
I'll slam the door
on every cause
without regard
to writ or cause
the end of it
descend and quit
my seeking

what

2.2417 : 12/15/11 : Tolereance

I should have
built up more
tolerance by now
to the poison
to the trauma
to the broken vow
I should have come up
with a strategy
instead of what still
looks a whole lot like
wait and see
nobody is watching
or expecting anymore
appreciate their tolerance
they don't
show me the door
as I try to grasp the nettle
take the bull by its horns
end up lightly gored
and with a hand
full of thorns

what

2.2416 : 12/14/11 : Bitter Again

Bitter they say
makes the placebo efficacious
maybe an apocrypha
the truth is seldom
so audacious
fool my tongue
with the bitter again
Don't know what's coming
don't know when
hardly reason
to continue on
all for the sake
of tradition, long
forgotten in
languages no one
speaks
well no one to speak of
pedantic freaks
no not me
I'm bitter is all
bitter again
back to a
bitter wall

what

2.2415 : 12/13/11 : The Other

Get one thing
forge the other
push me pull you
can't somebody help me
with a whack-a-brother
let it all slide
well no surprise
it ends up against a wall
with panic in its eyes
well what I need
well I won't say just what
and what would make
a difference
well I really got no clue though
but
get on to the other
if it seems a wild shot
in pitch black
Oh let's get on with the other
get on with the other
before inertia hits back

what

2.2414 : 12/12/11 : Forgetfulness and the Consequence

Forgetfulness
and the consequence is
another foray
into straddling the fences
where are we
when we're neither here nor there
When I don't have
the wherewithal
except to sit and stare
got to wash clothes
put away the dishes
tend my lame little projects
like lame little
upstream fishes
lose my continuity
pick it up once more
my mind a million miles off
trying to forget
what I deplore

what

2.2413 : 12/11/11 : Victory

Victory
doesn't feel good
doesn't feel like anything
what did I grasp
not a laurel branch
not a nettle
certainly not a gold ring
blue as the sky
sure I've got reasons
reasons don't make you feel any better
hope for victory
to bring some brighter layer
throw off this sad fetter

what

2.2412 : 12/10/11 : Great Dismal

Ah great dismal
truth of the day
notice me or
kindly go away
oh minor note
of dissonance
small returns
from ventured chance
please take me
anywhere but here
anywhere to wait
for the next thing to appear
take me to Great Dismal
plunge me in the muck
hand me a millstone
I'd scarcely be more stuck

what

2.2411 : 12/09/11 : Emotional Spending

That account
was already mighty thin
keeps getting hit again and again
emotional spending
hows my balance
not so good I fear
a lot of static in my valence
see that shell
looks like I'm good for bonding
while I strive to coordinate
my capital's absconding
damn now the money's
even in my metaphors
considering the real topic
well it's giving me the horrors

what

2.2410 : 12/08/11 : More Fool

More fool
can't seem to change
no allegory
nothing to exchange
terrible rhymes
such dimwit verses
Listen and learn
listen to my curses

what

2.2409 : 12/07/11 : Goodbye Midnight

I only came to
say goodbye midnight
don't want to pass it all by
change a little
not enough
You know them as well as I
it's awful tough
Goodbye midnight
hope to not see you soon
nor the moonlight in the water
nor the sunlight in the moon
a little too sad
to be positive at all
a little too tired
to take a shot at that high wall

what

2.2408 : 12/06/11 : Progress

Today I don't know
what progress means anymore
stare out a window
check and check a locked door
how we persist
and how we go on
and just to quote the Psalmist
O almighty: How Long?
No real goal:
no calling, no station
no great work or even
just a part time avocation
So how can progress start?
I'm mired in the slough
and the allegory's failing
not at all sure I'll get through

what

2.2407 : 12/05/11 : Luke 9 (Seventeen Nights 17/17)

Neither staff nor bag
nor bread nor money
it's a strange journey
but it really isn't funny
and who will feed
the multitude these days
and just what kind of with us
did you really mean by always
I'm no fool
I know my lowly station
never would have made it
to see the
transfiguration
I guess I'm not fit for the kingdom
how hard I'm looking back
wishing one last little glimpse
before I give the plow my back

what

2.2406 : 12/04/11 : Jude (Strange Flesh - Seventeen Nights 16/17)

we're all a little
strange in the flesh these days
a little
hellfire stumping
what a screed
for last days
I do not think
I care for you Jude
your pious attitude
sure that old time religion
certainly is in the book
can't just wave it away
bound to be mistook
Leaving me where?
maybe down among the goats
and all others who refuse
to have strange flesh
crammed down our throats

what

2.2405 : 12/02/11 : Isaiah 6 (Seventeen Nights 15/17)

Not my commission
not my call
what for me
seems like nothing at all
am I so selfish
well I'm what's left
what now holy holy?
with your play so deft
What a job to give out
baffle them with, well then
sounds like one escape clause
chance to say I told you so, when
of course I am bitter
angry sad and tired
reading ancient visions
feeling not a bit inspired

what

2.2404 : 12/02/11 : Psalm 104 (Very Great - Seventeen Nights 14/17)

Very great
oh yes
very great
it's a humbling universe
I can comfortably state
yes it's great
it's vast
one unending
deep repast
but that doesn't
mean it's nice
I'm not so sure
that you are nice
for what I find
upon my plate
still sure
no doubt
you're very great

what

2.2403 : 12/01/11 : Psalm 103 (Who Heals? - Seventeen Nights 13/17)

Who heals?
Is there any real healing?
Just temporary reprieve
a momentary feeling
I succumb to many vices
well no not that one I'll allow
at least today at least for now
again comes the wind
scatters them like dust
withers them like grass blades
eat at them like rust
the healing is not complete
in this world
and knows about
the next
who knows about
tomorrow
who knows what to expect

what

2.2402 : 11/30/11 : Psalm 102 (Stricken - Seventeen Nights 12/17)

My heart is stricken
and withered like grass
I try to roll through it
with a little class
where is Zion Zion now
who could get called chosen
and though the dates keep changing
every asset's frozen
and nothing will
endure but you
but can you really understand
what you put us through?
everyone's stricken
withered in the end
and who will stand for us
oh who shall we send?

what

2.2401 : 11/29/11 : Your Spirit Is Free (Seventeen Nights 11/17)

Your spirit is free
I suppose
sure not there in the shell
in these old white clothes
and mine still tied
to gravity
what's it all mean?
I guess I'll have to
wait and see

what

2.2400 : 11/28/11 : Deep (Seventeen Nights 10/17)

Too tired for trying to be deep
and what's coming won't keep
And gets plenty deep on its own
a sinking stone
and the ripples spread out
change regret and doubt
deep revision and pause
and no escape clause
except the elephant of the hour
What feels like weakness
could be power
or is that wishful thinking
to ease to sleep
these waters are too damn deep

what

thinking of the things that hurt most of the time

So that was volume 2.13, Large Notebook, wherein I started a series of seventeen songs the point and premise of which I have absolutely no idea or recollection.  Five days in, the call came in the middle of the night, and the doctor told me that Dad had died, alone in the night - which was very like him. And four days later that book was done.  And on we go to volume 2.14: Inheritance 1.

what

2.2399 : 11/27/11 : Plot (Seventeen Nights 9/17)

Oh, well then
where did I see this plot?
Ha, ha, ha
much surprised?
No I thought not
thinking of the things
that hurt most of the time
an overused rhyme
No easy answers
and no quick cures
a lot of open handed gestures
and I'm not sures
a lot of crosses to cross
a lot of dots to dot
trying to gather up
the thread of this plot

what

2.2398 : 11/26/11 : Burden (Seventeen Nights 8/17)

Soon I'll take my own burden
up again
Laid to rest
but at best
it'll be the beginning's end
nothing's really ever over
So I said
and so it seems
still waiting
to see you shadow my dreams
the book is ever taken up
one hand to another
the road goes ever on and on
as father becomes brother
in the struggle
in the story
in the legacy of saints
One day similarly
may I throw off
my restraints

what

2.2397 : 11/25/11 : Very Weak (Seventeen Nights 7/17)

Very weak
I know how that one feels
I know how that one feels
I know how that one feels
What do last words reveal
it's not about that but
I can't help but ask what
I can't help but ask why
and far from the high peak
your answers seem
very weak

what

2.2396 : 11/24/11 : Perspective (Seventeen Nights 6/17)

How long will
the perspective last
Something a step above
the half full glass
You hope it might be
a little more
but time tempers all
that's what it's for
Lord just get me
through this week
no time to wander
no time to seek
will I get out of it yet
with a little insight
really just a sliver
needle sharp and bright

what

2.2395 : 11/23/11 : Stages (Seventeen Nights 5/17)

Left and left no
room for stages
no long processing
across the pages
what a magic trick
slipped through the floor
beyond denial
gone, evermore
Shoulda seen there'd be
no bargaining for you
struck the deal a long way back
stuck with it through and through
though I may be oh so angry
though I may be oh so sad
in the end I'll just accept
thanks for the time
and love you, Dad

what

2.2394 : 11/22/11 : Cake (Seventeen Nights 4/17)

Fuck enlightenment
give me cake
nothing at all to do with me
what's at stake
I read they're occupying
just every place
I'll type a comment on it
while I shove cake in my face
Let them eat it
I said oh hells, yeah
Call out the militia
I put on bells, yeah
to those as do the dirty work
I say excuse the mess I make
It's just my special destiny
involves a lot of eating cake

what

2.2393 : 11/21/11 : Another Piece (Seventeen Nights 3/17)

Try to be intentional
try to be deliberate
but life just keeps handing out
another piece of -
wait for it -
another shoe
another block
the stumbling kind
another shock
not knowing ever
what comes next
another piece
of sacred text?
I'd gladly give
my piece to you
but that option's
not offered, true

what

2.2392 : 11/20/11 : Almost (Seventeen Nights 2/17)

Almost went down
the same road again
at the last moment
picked up my pen
purely for form
not an ounce of desire
gone the dreamer
gone the fire
tell myself
it's temporary
the call that gas
learned optimism baby
but I'm not waiting
for surprises
angel men
in rough disguises
not looking for
props or bling
almost past
looking for anything

what

2.2391 : 11/19/11 : Anger Wrought (Seventeen Nights 1/17)

And all that
anger wrought
was forgetting this
plus angry thought
that turns and
curdles the heart
poisoning the mood
and spoiling the start

what

2.2390 : 11/18/11 : Lost

I was compelled to contemplate
how little I have lost
and the sin of taking for granted
and its terrible cost
Do not hesitate to send the letter
Now is the only time to make it better
Loss comes for all
its hunger can't be sated
and its mark on me so far
it scarcely can be rated
Be brave declare your love
he here below as you imagine it above
loss serves its purpose
but it is harsh, unforgiving
remind you life is for nothing
but hard joyous living
stand up hold out your hand
beckon sadly to the lost and promised land

what

2.2389 : 11/17/11 : My New Favorite Number

My new favorite number
is seventeen
prime: and best of all
it's not thirteen
Nineteen's a loser
been smoking for a year
still doesn't get
that the question's the cure
seventeen
not quite legal
yet old enough
to stand as the regal
inheritor
of the traditional crown
and this is it baby
I'm creaming, I'm down
don't ask questions
I won't answer
nor more marks
get bleeding with the lancer
everything you seek
is hidden in between
and I'll observe forever
every seventeen

what

2.2388 : 11/16/11 : Permanent

Let's figure out this guy
this permanent guy
you say you got to get to
so down so fly
stacking cash and followers
crashing glass and swallows spurs
this guy I am
wish he had a little
a stash a plan
a crank up fiddle
busk with a cat on the boulevard
feel so soft when you want to come hard
nothing much down here
is permanent
try to pay the bills
try to make the rent
better imagine and make it good
can you say enough? I knew you could

what

2.2387 : 11/15/11 : Temporary

Expiration of the temporary
Decant into the
rental flesh
grim and stationary
now check out
better to come
being big not small
being smart not dumb
so glad
that thing's over
so glad to be moving on
gonna get all permanent on you
ride in all the way up
the tower of song

what

2.2386 : 11/14/11 : Slow Lightning

It hit like lightning
like real slow lightning
It doesn't light you up
it only slows me down
ran out of grease
and grabbed the
molasses
now that's a conundrum
hope its strike soon passes

what

2.2385 : 11/13/11 : Better Judgment

Wrong about being right
right about being wrong
despite my better judgment
signing another numbers game song
an inauspicious date
a better one to come
no one could be much surprised
to hear I'm acting dumb
what's one more day hey
really one or two
will you remember
the one nice thing I said to you
least I'm not lit up
hitting fire or the booze
I gotta be a winner baby
because you just cannot lose

what

2.2384 : 11/12/11 : The Numbers Game

It's all been
the numbers game
and I say it ends tonight
asolipnd if you say it's just the same
Well I cannot dispute
my word on this
has ill repute
but still I stand to say it
this is the hand I intend to play it
you say it is a hard row
well I intend to hoe it hard
well I intend this solipsistic date
is a number
that will embed like a crystal shard
so i can relax on the
technicalities
one year will just lead to another
let he who waits
surprised, as he sees:

what

2.2383 : 11/11/11 : The Ultimate Cheat

Time travel is
the ultimate cheat
get ahead of everyone
get them all beat
anticipate success
I have not have not earned
aw the cost of it
Oh lord it burned
I listened to
the future of the all
I dreamed of redemption
I dreamed of the call
the song that sang to me
go back twenty years
have to relive the memories
have to relive the tears
but here in the future
it is pure and blessed
forgive me my time travel
the now I've messed

what

2.2382 : 11/10/11 : Fooled

I'm not fooled
I'm not foolin'
the moment is so right
not afraid to say
I'm droolin'
none will notice
none will care
I'm an army of one here
hell yeah I'm there
glad it went down this way
gambling on tomorrow guy
he won't get his bit to say
So the next 2x
is all blue sky
fooled the masses
fooled the set
the family will give me
the benefit of the doubt you bet
I'm not fooled
Yo I'm not foolin'
it all remains to be seen
from here on out
I'm coolin'

what

2.2381 : 11/09/11 : Cut

Surely not percentage
on thinking on all
the cuts I didn't make
might well be instructive
to think on the chances
I didn't take
what are my chances
what is the cut
that I am shooting
try to stay clean
I need my game
for what I'm executing
no rulers no bosses now
I alone am
responsible for the cut
and I'm in a bad place
my mind is full
of all yes, but

what