2.666 : 2/28/07 : Script

I’m writing the screenplay
I’m writing the script
I can’t be bothered with the details
I assume that sail
has shipped
you know I’m a scenarist
you know I’m a hack
I may not amount to
anything
but baby I’ve got your back
we all get one story
where we are the star
And the truth of that one
is wherever you go
baby there you are
I can’t write your story
And believe me that’s fine
all I can do is hope
you’ll take the leading role
in mine

what

2.665 : 2/27/07 : Anger and Frustration

radiating from the hind brain
trickling down the spine
anger and frustration pulses
flows downstream the darkest wine
reasons seem all disconnected
all discussion crosstalk
another hour finds my trying to
work it out on the sidewalk
What’s the source of this dark current
what’s its battery
I brood over my small companion
the sincerest form of flattery
surely as I learned it at home
surely as its in my blood
I will see it grow inside him
I can’t nip it in the bud
answers may be in the sutra
answers may be in the book
whatever it may be I doubt
it will let me off the hook

what

2.664 : 2/26/07 : Lack of Slack

Lack of slack in
the life account
desperate in need of time
in any amount
the irony that
fails to amuse
If I had buckets of cash
I’d still have no time to lose
every little thing
gets shoved in sideways
and never any slack
for all my snide plays
but as the sad refrain
of an old song starts
I remember my convictions
in my heart of hearts

what

2.663 : 2/25/07 : Get Organized

2,854 : 5 ?



Get organized for the march
Against the rise of the beast
For the season of transformation
For the wedding feast
Today is eternal, eternally passing
Prepared for the mourning
prepared for the fasting
Got organized for the fight
to turn every stone on its back
add another element
another platter on the stack
Rock the tides to sleep
Rush into the seabound caves
Finding every gem of price
the morning star and what he saves

what

2.662 : 2/24/07 : Briefly

Briefly let me tell you
it feels good to be done
and if it drifts into recursion
hell I’m not the only one
to succumb
There’s still so many questions
what it’s good for,
chiefly
but I’ve no fear of mystery
So I’ll leave it there,
briefly

what

661 : 2/23/07 : More Light

After the flood, after the thrill is gone
after I got down on my knees for you
all night long
After all that we been through after a hard day’s night
all I’ve got left to ask for
is please more light
More light - more, more light
More light - more light, more light, more light
Now that you’ve caught me and put me in my place
At least have the decency
to lie to my face
After 33 years obsessed with being right
I was blinded by the question
oh how I need more light
More light - more, more light
More light - more light, more light, more light
I’ve said it in reverence, I’ve said it in fear
And over and over
convinced no one would hear
After endless explanations
in the elemental night
I turned and turned as I burned for more light
More light - more, more light
More light - more light, more light, more light

what

2.660 : 2/22/07 : Defeat

Defeat and collapse
hear that little sound
it snaps
like a bone
of a bird
in the hand
makes no sound
and
no sympathy inspires
but simply expires

what

2.659 : 2/21/07 : The Consequence

Little as I want to follow through
Little as I’ve got to say in my defense
Much as I would like to forget all I’ve forgotten
nevertheless there is the consequence
Determined as I was to see the matter clear
I set a course that seemed direct
the date was right the symbolism potent
I had a plan and everything was perfect
But now the consequence is all that I recall
all that matters, all predictions futile
And I’ll get over it in just a day or two
as long as I as I can still make you smile

what

2.658 : 2/20/07 : Powerful Impact

Powerful impact
unh! it’s tragic
such an example
of mere human magic
too many inputs
Gasp! I succumb
don’t get me wrong
I’m truly dumb
It’s such a funny
tragic world
all the snark
and invective I hurled
I just keep plugging
plugging plugging
the songs I write
The cliché I’m mugging
the bells I hear indicate a pause
guess I’m about to
invoke my escape clause

what

2.657: 2/19/07 : It’s Harder than You Think

Let go of the past
let ghosts go past
it’s harder than you think
drop perfection’s mask
address the task
could be the missing link
I’m so disappointed in us
no good thing’s anointed in us
we’re not chosen and we’ll vanish in a blink
Guess I’ll dance while Rome burns baby
Wait for my moment who knows maybe
We'll sneak some pieces through
It’s harder than you think

what

2.656 : 2/18/07 : The Spot

The gun has long been loaded
by physics and cosmology
the slate erasing world defacing
God’s own chunk of space debris
What has been will be once more
hell it might be what man is for
we might beat if we could just get organized
we could beat anything but we’re paralyzed
we see our little scraps as the center of it all
we think we’re making history, we’re just a pin in the wall
destined to be lost among the future’s dull addenda
unenlightened rejects with a fool’s agenda
maybe nothing will change, well nothing really has
are we really any better now
despite great wars and all that jazz
And we’ll stumble on our random walk
While our bullet slots the chamber
and our mark gets chalked
and the change will come the same
expected or not
locked and loaded while we slept
X marks the spot

what

2.655 : 2/17/07 : Triple Threat

Ignorance anger and apathy
the triple threat of humanity
I’m so naive I still think
A spiritual solution
could draw us back from the brink
I don’t know, I don’t care and fuck you too
I’ve got mine Jack who the hell are you
Selfishness jealousy and madness add flavor
and insurance that we’re gonna
get just what we pay for
I don’t believe we’re drawing down the final wages
I don’t believe we’ve seen the last of dark ages
The wages of sin are to repeat it all again again
Look around what do you think is happening
I read too many science fiction books
I’m hung up on these futuristic hooks
the details are a dream but the threats seem real
I’m ashamed to admit the idea has some appeal

what

2.654 : 2/16/07 : Chaos Trumps Order

Why doesn’t it seem to be
the same return
so long, so long
from light to dark and
if darkness is just an
absence why is it so strong
It’s all too easy
to see why
chaos trumps order
Why blood is always in the water
violence always at the border
I reach down all the way
to find the light
the light inside
having swallowed
the injunction
its the one thing I must not hide

what

2.653 : 2/15/07 : Now Silence

Music should come first
to drench the thirst
a thousand words won’t
paint a picture of a soul
now silence descends
and truth well it depends
I knew the last line
was never the song’s goal
what if what if
they all just sound the same?
what if I’m truly not
cut out for this game?
I only promised you
three decades Jack
forgot to mention
it’s a sneak attack
I slice through every cord
grown careless dull and bored
Now silence seems like all it left me
I keep my mouth shut round
all doubt or judging sound
So leaving now silent bereft me

what

2.652 : 2/14/07 : Eccentric

The eccentric stutter
in the orbit oh so subtle
the captain simply won’t believe
how badly it will scuttle
every inkling of the mission
the obsession the white whale
like so many before who missed
the forest for their holy grail
the worm that turned inside
eccentric in its winding
and homespun truth in homely garb
is surely what I’m finding
I didn’t set out to be eccentric
though you’ll disbelieve
and to this day I’m shocked
by this dire cup I chose to receive
and though my knees both buckled
at the slightest draught
nevertheless I stand there still
propped up by my eccentric craft

what

2.651 : 2/13/07 : Holy War

The world is drowning in advertisements
product media and schemes
I’m gasping in a shattering shortage
of splendor paradox and dreams
Scriptures suffused with bonus features
commentaries and directors cuts
the yahoos clamor for holy war
unrated action blood and guts
little ants toil day and night
piling up their drifts of sand
winding paths through every hill
at every turn a promised land
between the smallest of the small
all but bound to persist
and our almost absurd largesse
that threatens all things that exist
The holy war is raging stark
no treaty or control
and every pawn awaits its turn
and every bell will one day toll



what

2.650 : 2/12/07 : Transform

Must must transform
must shift must change
replace renew and rearrange
supplant the old
transcend the new
only ever
keep what’s true
where’s the evidence of ending
any final message sending
there’s no sign
of a conclusion
every rule
breeds in exclusion
transform today
from endless night
transform each darkling
clue to light
regardless if you
stand or flee
there will remain
a mystery


what

2.649 : 2/11/07 : Defiance

Despite everything I know to be
In the face of outcomes inevitable
In defiance of sense both sixth and common
I strike a pose that may ring a bell
I know I won’t ever get out of here alive
I know I’m doomed to constant striving
but every moment I’m offered one small choice
to pick between true life and merely surviving

what

2.648 : 2/10/07 : Evil Exists

The saddest things in the world
are happening every day
are happening every day
No matter what beliefs
that I profess that’s not okay
theodicy apology
No I don’t bother with those games
But still it seems evil exists
goes by a thousand thousand names
testify the wind says to me
until dead bones rise
testify until they live again
and all ascend into the skies
the saddest thing that ever was
it comes again over and over
falling fiery from the sky
sunk in fields of bloody clover
In the trenches something born
antagonist to turn our page
a modern face of an old foe
laughing triumphant through this age

what

2.647 : 2/9/07 : Something Called Life

Something must be torn apart
for building to occur
what happens at infinity or
zero I’m not sure
I don’t live at the furthest ends
I’m firmly in the middle
to let my understanding stop there
really is the hardest riddle
somewhere between faith and breath
something called life happens
outside fame, society
and all ephemeral trappings
deep inside the sentient body
static as a standing wave
every word and deed and thought
all I took and all I gave
one day it will all pass on
leaving who knows what
baseless and irrational
I feel it in my gut
that nothing true is ever lost
no matter how it manifests
something called life persists, persists
someone collects the tests

what

2.646 : 2/8/07 : Same Old

Same old thing
again again
perhaps it’s all stuck
in a loop
that stutters like a rolling hat
and what else is there left
to say about that?

what

2.645 : 2/7/07 : Gin 2.0

A stink of juniper and rage
a far past age a far past age
And I will not explain to you
the chorus or refrain to you
I can’t decode my brain for you
Not even if I wanted to
Destruction is so close at hand
For everyman in every land
High explosives bullets gin
A train or bus waits for your walk in
There is that refrain again
And me tight lipped no explanation
gin one gin two point oh nine five
an old story not my story lucky he’s alive
merely riffs on self destruction
neither moral nor instruction
intuition nor deduction
cheap device of deconstruction



what

2.644 : 2/6/07 : Only Civilization

If we ran out of energy
the earth wouldn’t care
Blew it all back to the stone age
nature wouldn’t care
If we succumb, decline decline
God won’t care
what will be will be something
will still be there
Only civilization cares
Only civilization cares
The universe is a big blank stare
Only civilization cares
if America holds on
another hundred years
And Coke taught the world to sing
I couldn’t believe my ears
if we survive the apotheosis
of our fears
None of it will mean a damn thing
in a thousand years
Only civilization cares
Only civilization cares
Only civilization cares

what

2.643 : 2/5/07 : Heat

Maybe it will just get
hotter hotter
melt the ice
and boil the water
maybe the seas will rise
and rise
consume our works
watch as
the information age dies
what will rise
with the tides
to replace
this hopeful
wasteful careless race
something on stilts
on hills on boats
guess we might really
finally
find out just what floats

what

2.642 : 2/4/07 : Atom Bomb

2,834 : 8 ?



The bang won’t be the final end
the shock around the world will send
the perfect place the perfect time
when will it come the next war crime
I’d like to believe we’d hold out longer
today’s resolve seems weaker not stronger
to bust a bunker or promote jihad
somehow I’m sure we’ll scapegoat God
I gotta be hopeful for two these days
I got not time left to whine and laze
despite what seems all too possible
the atom bomb and things just as terrible
if I could speak to each and every one
nothing in my hand no cross no gun
only to whisper my useless song
can’t we all just get along
wonder how the future twists and bends
wonder how civilization ends
the fall of Rome took 300 years
we’re 30, 40 in on ours so it appears

what

2.641 : 2/3/07 : Reversible

Then the final wave
renders all things reversible
an impulse to send
final end to this recursive hell
a protracted rush
backwards and to the first event
do it all again
chaos light and the firmament
tears to laughter
life from death
the secret truth
precedes the shibboleth
always younger
final curtain
then rehearsing
life into an act of joy
dispersing
 
what

2.640 : 2/2/07 : Maybe Entropy

Maybe entropy
is a natural resource
when our backs are
up against that wall
and there’s no recourse
we’ll discover nothing really
ever worked without it
all those wasted eons
trying to so something about it
what’s the use of winding up
a spring if not to wind down
potential is a tragedy
if you never return to ground
maybe entropy is just
another word for change
the opposite a
final fullness
you can never rearrange


what

dies irae

what

revelations per millennium

The next, oh, 23 songs (today's entry, Dust, through the entry for 2/23/07) were written for the 2007 RPM Challenge and eventually "published" in an album titled solvet saeclum in favilla, which was (predictably given the title) concerned with eschatology.

I recorded the album by attempting to sing live over tracks generated algorithmically by the software Voice of the GoatCactus.  I have described the album as "unlistenable" (and as a person who owns Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music on vinyl I know from unlistenable), though after subjecting myself to it several more times I revised this assessment to "almost unlistenable" (file under "mostly harmless").

But you don't have to take my word for it... if you have 46 minutes to kill and a tendency to boast of your aural endurance, by all means take a listen yourself.  I actually like these lyrics a lot, and even the seeds of some of the music I attempt to twist into these weirdly formal and dissonant computer compositions.  Someday, I say to myself, maybe I will find them music they merit.

But probably I won't.

I'm pretty certain I'm done with the RPM Challenge now.  Although the site says I only did one year, I actually turned in The Bootstrap Gospel in 2009 but apparently jumped through some hoop wrong because they never registered it - my effort in 2010, Trial By Ordeal, I never bothered submitting and has never been listened to by anyone.  I have as yet not personally succeeded in disproving the assertion that that one is in fact unlistenable, maybe I'll take another stab at it this month.  As far as the challenge goes, I'm the last person to dis enforced productivity but if I ever try to make another album, I am going to try to make the best one I can, however long it takes.

Anyway. Enjoy your eternal now.

what

2.639 : 2/1/07 : Dust

The world shall be dissolved in dust
all things will end as all things must
and when all that is has been shaken
past each bend and turn we've taken
when human works are long forgotten
good and bad sublime and rotten
high and low pure and corrupted
last act of social intercourse interrupted
old stories hint we might still draw breath
maybe even live to fight the heat death
for me I'll say I'm not convinced
you must admit that I've got evidence
that you couldn't call this race farsighted
and mostly what's wrong all gets left unrighted
so while we sway with winds of wrath and lust
likely we'll precede the world becoming dust

what