2.1611 : 9/30/09 : Time

Time is more full with

treasures since you came

Made your debut

appeared secured your name

It bowls me over sometimes

thumbs my buttons true

Even so through time I go

At some whole other level with you

I couldn’t say enough

every day of the year

Five brilliant cycles on

just getting started have no Fear

what

2.1610 : 9/29/09 : American Psycho

Nobody listens: that is the lesson

so it doesn’t matter, who hears the confession

everybody’s implicated, everybody’s culpable

so everybody is in on the clean up

and the tension in here is palpable

observe the average specimen: male, American, Psycho

wondering what you’d look like with your head on a pike-oh

wondering if the ghosts of these memories every existed

wondering at this death impulse, why we ever resisted

I saw her give a little smile

from the back of the cruiser

as it pulled away from the curb

that’s when I knew I was the loser

what

2.1609 : 9/28/09 : Back Down in the Hole

There’s a lesson in this

if I bring myself to hear

the mission to get clear

can obscure what threw me

back down in the hole

back down in the hole

That’s easy but this is hard

to find another path to trod

wave the carrot or don’t spare the rod

Who knows what will keep me from falling

back down the hole

back down the hole

maybe I’ll leave one more gap

at least it won’t be the same today

maybe tomorrow well who can say

having nothing to do but hope and pray

I don’t end up just jumping

Back down the hole

back down the hole

what

2.1608 : 9/27/09 : Faith

Believing in an outcome may be required

Some anodyne some tonic for

when I get tired

when you’re faking so much

and making so little

And sunk in real doubt

there’s a real answer to the riddle

Confusion is okay for a chapter or two

but it won’t make the nut

for the whole book of you

Maybe faith in something more

than ears stopped, eyes closed

a knowing you require

when every obstacle’s exposed

what

2.1607 : 9/26/09 : Stacks

The stacks get so high

and it’s all my fault

what to believe in

I’m sick on grains of salt

will I ever get better

as good as I demand

will I ever leave this desert

stop pounding sand

so many ways to go astray

lose all my momentum

So many other lines like this

these ideas I just rent them

what

2.1605 : 9/24/09 : Groan

Sometimes there’s nothing but to

hold your nose and groan over it

It’s shameful but there’s sure no point

in throwing a fit

I’m no less trapped

but my house is cleaner

no I had better get unplugged

before it makes me any meaner

when the gap is shut

and the ten year calendar is caught up

when the money’s flush

and the armageddon rations bought up

will I still be facing

this idiot pundit class

well I guess we’ll give those dolts

something new to harass

what

2.1604 : 9/23/09 : Numbers Racket

Should I be playing in a

numbers racket

running a numbers racket

odds are odd and

I couldn’t hack it

Guess I’ll stick to

seeking wages

messing up and

filling pages

till I tip the

rock of ages

see what’s crawling

underneath

run tongue over my

wearing teeth

and lay down this

mourning wreath

No more numbers

rackets no quick fix

and all the chaos

it inflicts

the other path is slow and dull

I just hope I’ve got a few more tricks

what

2.1603 : 9/22/09 : New Home

My big idea for a new home

for the words and these

silly little songs

turned out to cost too much

it really wasn’t all that big

just the first thing that occurred

since the last rug you yanked out

not to say that anything there was assured

I read a friend get way too intimate

talking about their fucked up life

maybe seven years you’ll read this friend

and it won’t mean a thing and that’s history’s knife

It’s not easy to find a new home

so we try real hard to make it work

but inertia is a wicked mistress

and these habits surely make me look the jerk

well I’m mostly not looking for a new home

just like to pick up better habits

it’s getting cold and I’m tired and it feels like

time to go to ground just like rabbits

what

2.1602 : 9/21/09 : Devil On the Mat

Predictable consequences

what to make of that

you’ll have to play the tough guy

if you want to wear the hat

how the hell hard does it have to be

to get a little change up in my habitat

hey a little here, hey a little there

is this ever going to get the devil on the mat

Far from happy with the

gross wages of plain excess

I can fake perfection for a while

but I can’t always sustain fancy dress

and it’s perfectly pitiful

to end up in the same old mess

but you can only lead yourself so far

under self-imposed duress

I’m all hung up on hope

but I’ve got to beat the clock

It’s so hard to believe these days

that anything’s going to rock

So hard to really argue

that I’m anything but talk

but I grasp for optimism

and still retain the hope to shock

what

2.1601 : 9/20/09 : Run to Delight

Not so satisfied

refuse the endless night

run run run

run to delight

make no plans

no intentions none

Though the night seems deserted

I am not the only one

may I end here

oh just for one day

I’ve never wrote so much

feeling I’ve got nothing to say

to hold up the bargain

I must at times repeat

myself till I feel empty

while the puzzle’s

still so incomplete

what

2.1600 : 9/19/09 : Eleven

Turn it up to eleven

comedy cliché

I hit it every hour

I hit it every day

I’ll never explain myself

just hope that it gets better

refine it to a paragraph

and send it in a letter

complete one sentence

and roll on to another

think about my father

think about my mother

A line must just be drawn

somewhere this side of heaven

consider it a matter

of dialing up eleven

what

2.1599 : 9/18/09 : Limitations

What’s the statutes of limitations

on silly young man’s

unrealistic expectations

It could be worse oh Lord

I know it so well

too old to get so dramatic

to claim that this is hell

too old to expect

some sort of clean break

young enough to want to

deny it’s just a damn mistake

travel through the stages

breathe all the stations

while away an hour

contemplating limitations

what

2.1598 : 9/17/09 : Verse

The metaverse, the negaverse

the vicaverse, the versaverse

oh is it miracle or curse

so many ways that I could not exist

and could I really call them worse

Oh that I could be forgotten in an instant

like the snuffing of a small flame

or the crushing of an ant

nobody mention in the room

there is an elephant

and the other verses linger in the mist

and who’s to say what can and can’t

what

2.1597 : 9/16/09 : First or Second

First or second

don’t even know

maybe luck but

so far I’m

making it so

to all the sorry strugglers

trying to sweat the first or second

seeing visions of the sweet vice

that in the distance beckoned

I guess I remember

and it all is tucked away

to examine if I need to

a game I alone can play

I guess it’s better than

What came before but I’m not thrilled

a demon is dispatched

but yet the Beast remains unkilled

what

2.1596 : 9/15/09 : Death of Ritual

By the pain in these hands

by the scratch in this throat

never again that midnight road

never again this leaking boat

by a day unmarked mislabeled

misremembered meaning nothing

by a piss poor rhyme or reason

propped up shaky by one thing

I seize and execute this

I effect the death of ritual

once more a rutted bloody track

in a promise of success pure virtual

what

2.1595 : 9/14/09 : Another Five Minutes

Another five minutes

time to wash a dish

wedge in some creative drool

pick up a tiny plastic fish

Figure I should be doing

more serious work

but the serious work

is such a bore

I guess this all beats

finding out what

another five minutes

is really for

what

2.1594 : 9/13/09 : Please No More

Please no more

must it be put on display

Lord knows it’s gotten

written down enough

day after day after day

the opposite of special

beyond mundane

oh yes the tired is real

and sure the pain

but everyone’s in pain here

everyone’s bored

you’d think you could

have spotted

this, one coming Lord

what

2.1593 : 9/12/09 : Wanton

4,150 : 9 ?

Wanton wanting after wealth

attempt the needle’s eye by stealth

won’t I look stupid lodged in there

and not even rich, double despair

scarcely know what I’m really pining

for, maybe any silver lining

riches false metaphor for some false prize

maybe just covet what’s before our eyes

getting see-through fading out

tired as hell without a doubt

if I give in now though

I’ll wreck the night

odds are I will anyway

what a fool’s plight

what

2.1592 : 9/11/09 : Column

Watch the liquid mount the column

shining golden fire

waiting for the fractionate

to trip the sensor wire

decant the essence of the

decoction of the 7 vital airs

daydreaming carrying the

filled vial up the stairs

toss it back in one draft master

everything according to the plan

chasing your obscure disaster

becoming more and less than a man

when they write the story of it

I’m sure they’ll leave out my name

but despite being lost to history

I was in it just the same

what

2.1591 : 9/10/09 : Yours In Struggle

Struggle with the feelings

of inadequacy

struggle with sleep

hey I’m not fussy

How am I going to get around

to the manifesto

Yours in struggle,

Comrade don Ernesto

I was het up about equality

While you were in diapers

call me in 20 years

when you’re paying all the pipers

I don’t see much changing

and no it isn’t fine

but I’ve got bigger fish to fry and

it’s your struggle now not mine

what

2.1590 : 9/9/09 : Slapdash

Slapdash just laying

paint down anywhere

no master it’s a mess

it’s in my teeth and hair

every stolen moment’s

Shouting at me from the bleachers

I’ve got no mentors no

And I’ve got no more teachers

maybe it’s all a confidence game

modern art a modern myth

maybe culture’s best produced

and packaged in some monolith

if so I hope they’ll overlook

my sorry little enterprise

as I refuse to stop and if

they don’t like it well damn their eyes

what

2.1589 : 9/8/09 : Worm Turns

After long hiatus

the stomach worm returns

nothing I’m not used to

though it vexes and burns

and it takes me back to old haunts

and memories long archived

I’ve known it since I was a child

and what the hell, I survived

still in the grips of madness

I recognize its hue

and the worm must be a gift of God

a spike to push the message through

but though my eyes are leaking

and the pain’s from tip to toe

there’s a little crazy left yet to extract

so on and on and on I go

what

2.1588 : 9/7/09 : Alternative

Alternative to finishing the race

consider falling flat on my face

or sketching out the barest bones

procedures whispered into telephones

Alternative to going crazy the same old way

wake up get up and deal live for today

I can’t help it if the oldies hit me just right

it was in my mind a moment but faded from sight

If this isn’t the answer then what is

I would give you speculation hit or miss

or wrap it up check the clock and give

one last fleeting nod to the alternative

what

2.1587 : 9/6/09 : Open, Shut

An open and shut case

it all adds up to very little

we’re struggling beneath the law

yes every jot and dittle

what

2.1586 : 9/5/09 : Marathon

4,143 : 2 ?

Too dull to even

record the session

round it down to

a thousand is three

I might have sixty left

there’s no knowing

call it twenty thousand then

for all the good it does me

three hundred twenty thousand then

with eyes open anyway

sounds like a hell of a marathon

see what I can get done

down in fifteen minutes

imagine if it just went

on and on

drops in the bucket

fill up the bucket

One point two million

eighty thousand and naught

sounds like plenty

too bad it’s just an estimate

who knows what I’ve really got

what

2.1585 : 9/4/09 : Fake It

Fighting a feeling like I

really might not make it

every other day it seems

like I just can’t fake it

got through yesterday

but what about tonight?

and always another one

so many chances to not get it right

I think I sang a song about the

lost thread already

So tired so faded

yet my hand is still steady

So I guess I keep it up

today and still fake it

I hoped for more for sure

but hell I’ll sure take it

what

2.1584 : 9/3/09 : Rapid

Is it just the name

then

would anyone

notice otherwise

rapid deployment

of vague enjoyment

dark dazzle

of the mocker

flashes off my eyes

would it be best to sleep

try to catch it up

another day like yesterday

no thanks, please

just take back the cup

what

2.1583 : 9/2/09 : Comrade

Nothing but one another’s

rhetorical devices

some new society

distraction from the crisis

I hope you let it go

forget the comrade crack

because I’m walking away

and I will not look back

I should keep it short and sweet

but I keep rambling on

So far so incomplete

Where have the days gone

What I said to you

applies just as well to me

maybe we’ll meet on better terms

someday when we’re both struggling free

what

2.1582 : 9/1/09 : Cosmos

Oh the Cosmos, oh, oh the Cosmos

call it curiosity

so many things meant

something to me

prejudice and superstition

that isn’t all there is to it

yet there is something here

a mission

don’t ask me to be your messenger

your bastard

I’ve been hung out

Look at this another

aching night

sick anxious

worn and strung out

but I smile thinking

about the Cosmos

and every crazy thing in it

no matter how long I hold on

five hundred thousand hours

of contemplation

will not show me more

than a tiny bit

what