The memories shift uneasily sometimes
in their jar of chloroform where I tried to preserve them
tried to kill their potency their ability to poison my thoughts
without putting myself to sleep in the process
The dreams I pulverized in a pestle
with sweet spirits of nitre tears and some blood
but the potion didn’t take
and when I drank it it made my throat hurt
What I really need is some Waters of Nepenthe
but I ran out last Thursday
and the chemist told me that the plant was struck by lightning
go figure
I went to try the drugstore on Division Street
But it had been taken over by holistic nutritionists
they told me they didn’t believe in Nepenthe
and I should quit smoking and start homeopathic therapy
they wanted to analyze my hair and fingernail parings
but by then I was fed up
and told them both my hair and fingernails would grow after I was dead
and they could have some then
I didn’t light up until I left the store
I had been rude enough
and I guess they meant well
Sometimes I think I catch what’s in the jar moving
but when I look it’s always just
turning harmlessly in the fluid
which has inexplicably darkened to near opacity
Maybe that’s what disturbs me
Even if I hold it up to the strongest light
I can’t see what’s in the jar anymore
Usually when I do this it becomes even more indistinct
the fluid has acquired some rather odd refractory properties
I seem to remember it as being clear
Sometimes when I catch it out of the corner of my eye
in a flash it seems grotesque and horrible
but it always looks the same when I examine it
I seem to remember it as being very pretty
At least I thought it was pretty
I wish I had drawn a picture of it
when it was more clear
but I thought that it would last forever
then
You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here
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