2.301 : 2/28/06 : 3 Postludes

3 postludes evening prayer
matin service like we had there
justify the longer goodbye
wanting to be done and
done at last but still caught
sifting all the past
I write the first write off the top
I started this thing rolling
now I fear I cannot stop
So every lapse
and foolish gesture
must be tallied
with all grave investure

what

2.300 : 2/27/06 : Third Day Rise

2,491 : 30 ?


Third day rise again
and
start shredding start shredding
with a back beat and
a cheap click pen
I know exactly where
this is heading
So I tell myself
inoculation
against disappointment
in the new sensation
but what if I am
wrong this time
third day riser
maybe I’m wiser
maybe now I’m in my prime

what

2.299 : 2/26/06 : First Becomes Last

The last of three
became the first of three
with a backtrack in the middle
with a partridge in a tree
it was that sort of pattern
the list built in repeating arcs
once more to all the long goodbye
once more th’ alleged eternal sparks
once more the ghost of kingdom come
one more I love you under breath
one passage from the secret world
emerge to life from certain death

what

2.298 : 2/25/06 : Long Goodbye to the Secret World: An incantation in 3 Parts Part 3: Goodbye

I gotta meditate unmediated for a while
consider every line so carefully
for form and style
To drive one nail home
this ain’t about kingdom come:
goodbye
goodbye my old friend
So many days and nights
a promise to set all to rights
a promise of a year oh years
and years ago
I know that when I reach that height
I’ll see the promised land in sight
and push on through the sweet
good night
past all the vales of all the tears
those veils will be torn as well;
in the end it’s true
Nothing ever can be taken from you
So if you happen back someday
to wonder at the mark
remember instead this glimpse
of the eternal spark

what

2.297 : 2/24/06 : Long Goodbye to the Secret World: An incantation in 3 Parts Part 2: Halfway Point of the Beginning of the End

Remember again nothing else matters
make the most of the moment
Soon enough gone; it comes another one
Halfway point of the beginning of the end
will I say all the same old things
the same old way again?
I remember this feeling
It aint’ good but it’s like an old friend
I won’t go down this path again though
Now I stand the last I’ll defend your
vagrant part time secret dealings
Now, here time for the healing
The team all around the word is joining
And a brand new currency we’re coining
A last nostalgia
raise your glass
Say goodbye
to business class

what

2.296 : 2/23/06 : Long Goodbye to the Secret World: An incantation in 3 Parts Part 1: Intent

The plan’s already gotten wobbly
I’ll still pull something out of it probably
sure enough it would be an anomaly
trouble fucking up the secret world
reminding me that nothing’s sacred
reminding me that nothing’s perfect
And still and yet I feel I’ll make it
and still and yet I feel I’ll work it
hush hush little one it’s okay
rest and rise another day
nothing but to laugh and play
I’ll say it three times love you love you
so I’ll negotiate a firm intent
Tomorrow I’ll blow my last present
of fealty to the secret world
while you quite calm are curled

what

2.295 : 2/22/06 : Work Equals Zero

Parse the layers of experience
Push past meaning push past sense
deciding what now seems so small
but it’s all we have at all
it’s hard to see how action coalesces
amidst illusion’s false paths and stresses
yet the whole damn human circus
is just the sum of our little monkeys jerk us
around around I go with desire
passion discord depression and fire
feeling like work must equal zero
confessing I’m not such a hero
accepting I’ve still some role to play
and trying to start again again today

what

2.294 : 2/21/06 : Rhythm

Even this fractured
rotten symmetry
inconsistent mission
has a certain rhythm you can see
beat on a bongo
a plastic letter
it’s hard to tell
whether I’ve gotten better
Have I gotten more consistent
or simply more obtuse
could I do it if I had the money
does it all coil down to juice
maybe if I ignored the rest
just focused on the rhythm
Some bridge of sorts would appear
as by magic cross the schism

what

2.293 : 2/20/06 : Renew

2,483 : 22 ?


Renew my subscription to the big idea
That if nothing else the truth at least will free ya
Work will make you free if the truth should fail
abandon all hope you are beyond the pale
I sought renewal in the info stream
I sought release in the primal scream
I searched so high and low but came to this
There is no shortcut to the chrysalis
the decade’s over; the new well begun
the only thing I’m sure of is this ain’t the one
look behind look back the moment’s gone
There’s no renewing and so, so long

what

2.292 : 2/19/06 : Interference

Signals barely can be heard
I waited waited for the afterword
to rise to rise above the noise
I was ready I was poised
I was ready to begin
I’d foregone every cardinal sin
but would I hear the call to arms
the interference has its charms
but in the end stands in my way
but how to make it fade away
to make the signal signal clear
I wait for it to reappear

what

2.291 : 2/18/06 : The Theme that will not Cease to Rise

Attempt and relapse
inflation and collapse
the mist that clouds the eyes
the theme that will not cease to rise
the subject and the object
the archetype and the architect
the now obscures the then
the theme rises again
I’m always lagging
catching up then flagging
the theme dictates my cycles
Gabriel Lucifer and Michael

what

2.290 : 2/17/06 : Reality

Am I a brain in a vat? Is this reality?
Will I get sent up or off on a technicality?
No matter how I slice it there’s no way to tell
Is this the pass to paradise or the prelude to hell?
the mind can make a palace a prison it’s said
No amount of thinking will replace your daily bread
I guess I expected you to be more shiny
I guess I thought my slice would be less tiny
What would you guess would be the outcome of this tale
no matter how bad you might think
my dreams go far beyond the pale

what

2.289 : 2/16/06 : Protest

Such a protest
from the peanut choir
little distraction
from some genteel liar
and so we push one more
shipment through
special delivery
me to you
but distraction never
lasts for long
protest resumes
when the thrill is gone
another demand on
my attention
My occupation so suspect
I blush to mention
but if I don’t carry
the experiment through
check every box I can
then how should you
know what to protest at the long day’s end
the only message that I’ve got to send

what

2.288 : 2/15/06 : New Leaves

So many new leaves
to turn over and over
the stagnant pond
must be stirred up
must seek that four leaf clover
don’t abandon
this new voyage
though the seas
are stormy now
must believe
in that true purpose
mark the goal
and find out how
even if impossible
it’s good to have a challenge
maybe that is all
that’s behind the pyramids and Stonehenge
count the clock
tick tock tick tock
best wrap this one
it’s time to rock

what

2.287 : 2/14/06 : Moment

2,477 : 16 ?


I’ve been waiting for this very moment to come
to finally see myself complete naked and dumb
the end of illusion and artifice
and if you ask me what now there’s just this
instead of recreation and a real good time
we succumbed to distraction and the anodyne
and when the tortoise predictably caught up
I played the only card I had left and got up
grab the bootstraps give a mighty pull
discover real life ain’t no parable
sore arms and wrenched back for your trouble
find a better sticking point and heave back double
and I just keep seek seek seeking an edge
sometimes a gimmick mostly just leverage
there’s still a fair distance between me and the pit
I’ve still a faint and lovely dream
of leaping over it

what

2.286 : 2/13/06 : Lazy Haiku

Lazy haiku man
loves his bed but hates a plan
boy what a loser

what

2.285 : 2/12/06 : Maybe Not

Maybe not who can take the chance
if I’m just a particle
it’s still my job to dance
and if I get the chance
maybe make a little sweet romance
that’s what makes
the world go round after all
and if you don’t believe me
there’s a number you should call
Maybe I’ll get better
Maybe not
Maybe I’ll quit early
in practice such persistence
is a long shot
Today all I can say about it
is that I’m here from now
and if it seems to make no
difference
to the vision grand I’ll
make afresh my vow

what

2.284 : 2/11/06 : Winds of Change

The congregation of all clichés
says lord in your mercy hear us pray
requested change and change came
after the wind nothing’s ever the same
The winds of change the winds of fate
a wind named amnesia made me hesitate
What if everything was really an invention
based on ancient lies and meaningless conventions
what if everything is really based on chance
and all that really means is the particle dance
and energy is really just a euphemistic notion
and all there is anywhere is mass and motion
the wind of whatever might not mean a thing
no matter what good or ill it might bring
maybe the toxic fortune in the poison pill
is that everything will founder
and there’s no such thing as will



what

2.283 : 2/10/06 : Disintegration

The world will be
destroyed by disintegration
it started with the family name
it started with the nation
it started with the city state
the integration failed
and led direct to babel
as the wholly writ detailed
Physical or metaphysical
which is worst do you think
The crash at least would be quick
we might reel for such a long time on the brink
But in the end no matter what
it’s how the future will unfold
all things fall apart together
as the second law foretold

what

2.282 : 2/9/06 : Holes

We’re all composed
of microfoam
strange loops defining
vacuum holes
not vacuums
but the true void
this is the technique
our trickster god employed
Taoists say the empty spaces
make the world go round
scientists say someday
the whole thing might just rebound
And none of the holes
black or white or worm
will be big enough
or near enough
to escape on
our own terms

what

2.281 : 2/8/06 : Smash the Window

B had a whiskey bottle
ran his own two minute hate
look at all the fractured pages
his disgusting dinner plate
I said smash the window buddy
let the rage flow out
maybe if you’d done it
you’d know what you really were about
M was a displaced person
student in another life
tried to steal my only guitar
claimed but couldn’t produce a wife
I said smash the window stranger
with your begging hand
Live on other strangers’ kindness
Ain’t this just the promised land
J was just a baby
still he had to rock
drove me to distraction when
that knob started to knock
I said smash the window my son
Always get another
learn the prime engagement
everything falls apart brother

what

2.280 : 2/7/06 : Drive Sideways

I’m gonna drive sideways
take the elevator to the mall
drop acid in my asterisk
and watch it fall and fall and fall
I’m gonna cough backwards
inhume my inner pharaohs
count every hair on my head
to check God’s math regarding sparrows
if I have to mend the dawn with tape
and crash your funeral with a jape
I will do it cause I’m just that kind of guy
If I have to devolve my advance
and spend my time on tawdry chance
you’ll never see me flinch just cause the cause is blue sky
I’m goin to jump right up and die
and fall right up into the wall
You’ve seen me charming just you
wait until you see when I appall

what

2.279 : 2/6/06 : More Obscure

2,469 : 8 ?


Pull another layer over
make the camera more obscure
hide the ever there observer
make the output seem more pure
Some are born to float unheeding
Some are born to watch
Some are born to seek the light
Some are born to carve that notch
pull another layer
make it all of it obscure
even history gives us VIPs
I fear there is no cure

what

2.278 : 2/5/06 : Hella Skella

It’s all in the secret agent
handbook of archaic activism
I could write it up again
refract it through a different prism
proclaims I am the terrorist among you
strapped forever hung with death
ready ever to be captured
a few more will taste the basilisk’s breath
There’s no way to capitalize
anonym or hateful poser be
just another dark imagination
maybe someone’s schtick not me
These days you could be arrested
if I was a high school kid
surely they would apprehend me
take a good peer under my lid
Call it the hella skella papers
some weird hook to cite the masses
shake the literati up
and knock the pundits on their asses

what

2.277 : 2/4/06 : Balthazar

Writ upside down by a flaming hand
the gasper and the grasper and the and and and
Balthazar said look observe
I’m hardcore and there’s none I serve
Serve none fear none none exists
to still the hammer of my iron fists
Look at Balthazar arrayed
raiment of a god displayed
golden wings and golden eyes
gold at head and wrist and thighs
gold at ankles gold at heels
golden hands and golden wheels
Nothing here is as it seems
we see all things as if from dreams
And Balthazar no monarch is
just monstrousness inside of darkness
This is gold’s illusion plain
reflection breeds the shadow’s slain

what

2.276 : 2/3/06 : Bad Information

The bad information
crept in no one knew how
some said it was a warning shot
across the fevered brow
it didn’t really matter
the outcome was the same
3 months left to go
the voyage
wasn’t living up to its name
I’ve got to overcome this
he said from on the floor
where he had fallen over
half a step inside the door
it all seemed damned unlikely
he wasn’t going nowhere
he moaned and grumbled on the floor
but crawled into a low chair
and from that slightly elevated
Vantage point he took
he pointed with a trembling finger
read aloud to us from the book

what

2.275 : 2/2/06 : The Moment of My Greatness

What do I care for the moment of my greatness
my hair may be gray
or it may be past
or it may be there
is not memory ‘twill last
And I need not sigh too long
about it
I was never convinced there was too much
to my genius
I had a moment,
the better part of some year
long ago
not quite half a life ago
It is not for that I write
And this is bright modernity
of a fashion now so dated now so stiff
the contrivances of ages past
always seem so and I know
that no memory will last
Having just realized that post
modernity is passing too
I thought I’d sketch a few lines on the unnamed
aftermath that is upon us now to you

what

2.274 : 2/1/06 : Mammon

I’m swimming against the
stream like a salmon
Trying to live in America
and not serve mammon
It’s that or God
the master said
And it just keeps rattling
rattling around my head
The problem’s I owe Caesar
bout all I’ve got
He’s into me so deep
my skulls about to pop
It gives me an ice-pick headache
right above my eye
I just want to get clear
but no matter how I try
I’m sliding into mammon’s pit
wishing I was a rich guy
someday maybe I’ll beat the house
someday maybe pigs will fly

what