2..1642 : 10/31/09 : Wasteland

An inch long and a thousand legs what on earth drove you forth

From whatever crack you called home until tonight

And I towered over you a failed flawed and capricious god

And observed dispassionately your hapless plight

And I said it’s been a long hard road you’re on: you didn’t hear me

or maybe you did, but didn’t understand being you’re a brainless invertebrate

And these 35 feet I pace late at night are a wasteland to you

and if the cat doesn’t kill you and you get across, will it improve your state?

And I pulled up short three times so as not to tread on you

what a fool what a fool what a foolish dumb sentiment

as your clockwork ticks you across the wide wasteland

surely I could remove you from the world without detriment

the trouble with the time travel theory that time travel is bad

because treading on a single bug could change it all

is that it assumes that things as they are are ideal

or at least saving because who knows, the coward’s stall

But anyway I let you go to inch your way across

I hope you looking down on me will give me as good

And if you never look down and see the world beneath your feet

transformed into a wasteland; try it once because you should

what

2.1641 : 10/30/09 : Bulge

Push one thing down another swells up

battle of the bulge and the steady state

with one battle up comes another

no option but to choose not to participate

no different than the rest all soldiers no generals

no orders no instructions no maps

no radios no high command to call

just this dumb rolling ball fighting over the scraps

throw another book into the void screaming hole

Throw another handful of pocket change

spend another night listening to doom prophets

and another and another and another will be arranged

come sweet silence a little for a little while

war and chaos will roll over again

and to hope for any truce is a weakness I cannot indulge

what

2.1640 : 10/29/30 : Wire Again

Now the wire again

nobody left to impress

nothing but to fill a little time

I could hardly claim distress

Head is pounding like the surf

not even a bender to show for it

just routine disease again

scarcely the energy to go for it

for heaven’s sake stop any time

I’ve got such great excuses

they shame me in the daylight hours

but surely have their uses

I won’t work it out again

tonight the wire will jerk me back

I should be grateful for the chance

to stand off from grim attack

what

2.1639 : 10/28/09 : Litany

A litany of small regrets of health complaints

of money woes and and working gripes

You must be as sick of it as me

Measuring hours with coffee drinks bought with plastic swipes

No poet, no artist no singer at all

a shuffler in a little church choir

strictly small potatoes unremarkable

toiling blandly at the end of the wire

a litany of false humility and false heart

filled with sputtering short circuited pride

Been in the sand box a long time now

Since I fell out of the ride

I don’t believe in what I hope for

I don’t see anything when I look ahead

So I worry about my health and the government

try not to think too much about how I’ve made this bed

what

2.1638 : 10/27/09 : The Early Riser

Maybe there’s still a little edge

left for the early riser

It’s going to be just hard as hell

but I might yet surprise her

I don’t want to think about

all of the things I’ve signed on for

right now it’s a steep request

to get on my feet on the floor

I can say never never I

can say never again the last

Oh I’ve got so so many

memories like that all stretching past

and I am not impressed at all

that I am still persisting

It sure seems there is some simple

path upwards that I am still resisting

what

2.1637 : 10/26/09 : A.F.L.

A stands for another F is bombing

L a word that rhymes with pissed

I can’t believe I’m trying to get through this again

take my pad and pen it’s all in the wrist

Like I don’t know what I need anyway

It’s just that I tend to forget

And as I don’t see you searching over hill and dale

to track down your poor lost pet

I guess I’ll try to get organized

and do for myself once again

Maybe then you’ll help me out

I heard it worked that way from my friend Ben

And if a little piece paper doesn’t make me

change my ways well then I guess I lose

At least if it’s all written down

I’ll remember that I had to choose

what

2.1636 : 10/25/09 : All Perfume

What if I said yes to everything

yes and to you yes and yes to you too

unimaginable impossible some fool’s dream

It can never work yes all would turn from you

yes it is easy enough yes to imagine

your soft yes world would be all perfume

lI can barely navigate yes the world of no

if I said yes to everything howe could I presume

discernment is yes necessary yes

none can have it all can they

So I yes beg for a firmer no

pray to God to keep the beast at bay

but my mind’s yes eye yes just

doesn’t want to cooperate

and I see things yes I’d rather not

what is the point of a grasping state

of trying to hold on when nothing will do

want it all want it all you you you and you

I yes say yes no yes and yes

go yes on yes to my yes diminished day

there’s yes no way yes I can yes resolve

and that’s yes yes yes yes all I have to say

what

2.1635 : 10/24/09 : The Punches Roll You

4,192 : 7 ?

Sometimes the next thing you know

it all comes so fast

the next thing you know

your whole life is rolling past

You try to roll with it all

but you know it’s true

sometimes you roll with the punches

Sometimes the punches roll you

It doesn’t seem like you can get

a single minute of peace

it would be one thing if you were

chasing the golden fleece

But we’re just chasing the buck

and trying to hold on

and once you get rolling

next thing you know it’s gone

You try to roll with it all

but you know it’s true

Sometimes you roll with the punches

Sometimes the punches roll you

what

2.1634 : 10/23/09 : Only Game

I’m not proud so I play the

only game the only game in town

I will not disdain to play the only game

if that’s what claims renown

Play it badly play it well

with so much confusion who can tell

Still the game goes on and on and on

So hey today - ha! Yet another song

one day it may get old I may get exasperated

I hope to hell that purgatory is pro-rated

cause I’ve done a little time on this ball

and I don’t think I deserve a full sentence

at all

And that’s got nothing to do with why I stick around

no fears of dreams to come keep my feet on the ground

I play the game cause it’s there and I’m ready

better not blink my hands are so steady

another mile another fine rotation

broadcasting the signal from my secret station

that’s easy to find for anyone at all

if I keep playing the game

maybe someday the curtain will fall

what

2.1633 : 10/22/09 : Stupid Game

Sure as hell I got to get out

of that stupid game

big talkers and I’m far too old

to play it the same

You can call it sour grapes

or say I took my ball home

like that but I won’t

push that one through your dome

but should I blame you for being

young and arrogant

One day you’ll be old and wise like me

maybe give up the game maybe then you’ll see

the hard and polemic will never concur

there’s a place somewhere for those unsure

I’m in a minority I don’t claim to know

what the hell’s going on

or who runs the show

what

2.1632 : 10/21/09 : Head Game

What do you think of the

head game son

I been through it confused

why you find it fun

but you really

seem to though you need much help

so many questions

crazy little whelp

hell I’m tired

hell my teeth hurt

it beats meta-reference

but it won’t buy me a shirt

and neither will head games

or daydreams either

so I stumble along

badly in need of a breather

what

2.1631 : 10/20/09 Statistics

The statistics say packing heat will kill you

but you won’t change a thing boy will you

the statistics say I’m wasting my time

blathering about it while my jungle bells chime

and I’m a statistical creature nothing but

on the same bell curve again what the what

I’ve got correlation but I don’t get cause

and much as I hate to let the answer

slip through my paws

I better bow to the statistics and give up

the bar is so high and I’m failing so bad

to live up

what

2.1630 : 10/19/09 : Recreation

You know no one will write no one will call

no one will ask about the recreation

I’m getting used to it I hate to sound

like such a sorry shit

but truth be told this is my situation

I’m trying to build something new from scratch

and it’s a long haul and nobody is paying attention

at least as far as I can know

if they were you’d think they’d say something though

Occam’s razor has an explanation for zero mention

oh and will the recreation even matter

or will I just let it slide

I’ve done plenty of that yeah

and you know if it falls flat

there’ll be just another plain marker

where another idea died

what

2.1629 : 10/18/09 : Hello World

Oh yes hello

world

so predictable

Had some thoughts I didn’t care for

today

and I don’t want to tell them

to anyone at all

I don’t need to tell at all

maybe that proves it

isn’t serious

and anyway it’s all gone

and here I bow

under the camera imperious

what

2.1628 : 10/17/09 : Prior

Prior to deciding whether

to crash and burn

it’s not duress exactly

or salvation I spurn

I don’t know how to describe it

some desire to drive a nail

with one damn blow

and no doubt doomed to fail

then again maybe it’s just

wanting to scratch an itch

dig in a little really

lean on that bitch

just a dummy

making dumb decisions

pushing consequences on tomorrow

subject to tonight’s revision

what a drag

what a tale of fools’ delights

how many more does it require

these foolish nights

I wish I had the number

wish I had it written out

I suppose that wishing’s just

more of what it’s all about

what

2.1627 : 10/16/09 : Cross the Line

Today is the day I cross the line

wow it just happened

check out my spine

I could claim I was hired to work

it would be fair I’m exhausted

I try to fight through it while

on all sides I’m accosted

by dreams by work by progeny

start the countdown on some click

don’t have even a clue

of where this strange idea took hold

could probably use a walk

this gloomy gray doesn’t help me

get out wake up or get busy

and just keep crossing and crossing the line

and it’s making me

quite dizzy

what

2.1626 : 10/15/09 : Gorgeous

Give us back our gorgeous

dreams of tomorrow

instant everything and easy flight

this social rhetoric

and primitive explosives

Sure don’t match up to a dream of light

Is it an illusion I believe

that if we just dared to dream big enough

we’ll rise above this urge to war

and petty scarcity

and embrace experience over just more stuff

I suppose that I would have to

make myself a proof of concept

live a life glorious and gorgeous

it doesn’t seem so easy now

well no confess it doesn’t

but I can’t escape my portion is generous

what

2.1625 : 10/14/09 : Pattern Recognition

Why this brain’s supposedly so great

a point I tend to think you overrate

I guess it comes in handy

spotting the connections dandy

But in the valley where chaos reigns

it asks more questions than it ever explains

Pattern recognition

Won’t explain my grim position

Why isn’t it clearer or completely opaque

If I’m never going to make it will I always

have to fake

I recognize this pattern but

feel powerless to halt it

If I can’t blame my brain who can I blame

Still it feels wrong to fault it

Keep looking for the patterns

don’t you get discouraged

see long hours late of screwing off

hey maybe you should act your age

and I know recognizing it’s the easy part

scribing a new pattern is wholly the realm of art

but you’ve got to start where you are

if you hope to gin up a new avatar

what

2.1624 : 10/13/09 : Passive Voice

What was done to me

What has happened to the world

the evil that was allowed to flourish

the stones that were hurled

in the glass houses that were built

by the figureheads selected

In the races that were bought and paid for

by the products that were selected

And it got called freedom

and it got called choice

until it went beyond endurance

and I yelled out in my passive voice

what

2.1623 : 10/12/09 : In the End

In the end

what perfect arrogance

tell me friend

how do you feel about dissonance

I feel fine fine fine

I’m ready for

an uglier day

I feel fine

bring it on it’ll be

different anyway

there will be no end

there will be no aftermath

just now and now and now

throw the best case out

with the worst case bath

and I guess I am so dense

I’ve got to learn it over endless

it could be worse it could be worse

I’m not stupid

and I’m not friendless

what

2.1622 : 10/11/09 : Stupid Moron

The stupid moron

inside of me

barks for poison

as he swings from the tree

of the fruit of knowledge

of stupid and smart

I no longer know what this is

but could it really be art?

How I hate you stupid moron

I’d like to force feed you

arsenic and boron

wouldn’t it be great to be free

the only problem is the stupid

moron is me

I keep saying I’ll

keep him in the box

the moment I doze off

the stupid moron talks

I’m afraid I’m going to

just have to learn

to live with him and try to

cope when it’s his turn

what

2.1621 : 10/10/09 : Last Page of the Internet

Last page of the internet

they’re making robot bees

at Harvard

Maybe I should have

sent in an application

shift my whole history

hard to starboard

You have to cultivate

and attitude of no regrets

just to get along

maybe today I’ll do

one more thing right

than everything I got wrong

I am thankful

don’t get me wrong

but I think that you

must earn me back

I am standing up

I am asking so much more

but truly I am

not on the attack

what

2.1620 : 10/9/09 : Epic Fail

Failed to keep the promise

throw it on the pile

hour stretching endless

be here for a while

swallow brandy

reach for a feeling

knowing it is only

my own sleep I’m stealing

told myself I wouldn’t say

the same old same old

day after day

sounds familiar

looks beyond the pale

another document

of another epic fail

what

2.1619 : 10/8/09 : Stretch the Hour Until it Breaks

I’ll stretch the hour until it breaks

act willful, claim it’s all mistakes

hands aching with the cold

and feeling feeling old

Hard to bear to tell it straight

the night is cold the hour is late

halfway through this foolish swing

praying the mighty pendulum ends this thing

what

2.1618 : 10/7/09 : Germane

What’s relevant? what’s germane

If I jump through every hoop

just what will I gain

say riches won’t make you happy

but debt will make you sad

It’s a hell of a system

And I feel like I’ve been had

It’s really all my fault though

I confess I should have known

if you have to find someone to blame

it rests on me alone

try to figure out what is germane

and figure out what fits

hope those hoops don’t start spinning

chop me into bits

what

2.1617 : 10/6/09 : Consistent

Try as I might I just can’t

seem to get it consistent

and the howling of my aging ego’s

getting more insistent

as I try to piece together

what the next phase is

don’t really want to talk about

it anymore but there it is

consistently falling short

consistently up too late

consistently glossing over

what maybe could be great

consistently backsliding

in habits old and new

just thank God I’m not a drinker

and that I’ve held onto you

what

2.1616 : 10/5/09 : Transcription

This is no new scripture

on golden plates

has it been a decade

casting pearls before the ingrates

transcribing history into

digital ether

I asked my muse to help out

She said it was beneath her

the scale of it defies

rational description

the big computer’s

universal transcription

destructive analysis

only information will survive

So enjoy all your sensations

while you’re supposedly alive

And I’ll make my map in miniature

my little track of the day

on the theory that the future

will need an awful lot to play

what

2.1615 : 10/4/09 : Insanity

I know doing it again is crazy crazy

Heaven knows I’ve tried to stop

Heaven knows I’ve killed myself

waiting up night after night

waiting for the other shoe to drop

It’s crazy and I have to

slog back even from here

illustrating the

definition of insanity

Learn from my mistakes

hell I don’t even learn from my

successes

So typical,

oh the humanity

what

2.1614 : 10/3/09 : Blown Away

Nobody’s getting blown away

by this masterpiece

hoping for some stale shake

buried in the crease

hell it could be worse

I could be thinking that way

I’ve made a tiny bit of progress

with my feet of clay

Just thinking about it

washes me out with fatigue

thinking the whole damn world

is out of my league

I could be so much worse

a real monster true

but I’m just not enough

and I’m so sick of pushing through

what

2.1613 : 10/2/09 : Lost Leaf

Leave of paper, leaves of tobac

leaves are turning yellow

So soon winter’s coming back

and I have lost

the thread of the leaf

that I collected

and I’ve scrambled all the

notes of the

experiment subjected

what

2.1612 : 10/1/09 : Working Backwards

Working backwards to fix the error

this one went deep it hurts

after the flood the crash the terror

we’re lucky we still have our shirts

try not to look at those not so lucky

try not to hear the bell toll

thinking about all that makes me feel yucky

and I don’t want to stop I’m on a roll

It’s really happening today I’m unplugging

flushing 13 years of poor production

find out what happens if I really keep chugging

maybe at last I’ll find my damn function

it couldn’t get any dumber I hope

drop all thought of sunken cost and regret

pray to get just enough to cope

Well you haven’t heard the last of it I bet

what