The Two Track Mind Era 13: She's Not Thinking About You

She's not thinking about you

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 12: His Head Grew Till it Occupied the World

His head grew till it occupied the world
He said, I’ve not begun to fight
And I don’t intend to
And his head grew till it occupied the world

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 11: My Fine Mentor

2,154 : 2 ?


My fine mentor told me
to start where I am, to write what I knew
He showed me what to do
David, I wrote this song for you
Don’t you understand?
Don’t you understand?
I’m writing to forget the pain
Of being who I am

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 10: Pennies from Heaven

Penny for thoughts and a pound for your foolishness
Pennies from heaven and pennies from elsewhere
Anything, something for nothing I’m drowning
How can I call you, I don’t have your number

She said do you believe in heaven?
I said I believe in a place
I don’t believe that she’s thinking about me
I’m trying now to remember her face

This is the easy part, nothing for something
This is the part where I just slip away
In my mind is your hand in my hand and I’m dreaming
Of leaving, of going away

She said do you believe in heaven?
I said I believe in a place
I don’t believe that she’s thinking about me
I’m trying now to remember her face

One for her mother who’s gone up to heaven
Two for her father who’s changed
Three for her sister who’s growing up nicely
Four is for me, but she can’t think that way

She said do you believe in salvation?
I said I do, but it’s only a guess
She said do you believe in heaven?
Someone please tell her from me I said yes

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 9: Another

Another half considered lunge
Another idiotic plunge
I’ll play another faulty hunch
I’ll sleep my life away
Another week lost to regret
Another something I couldn’t get
Another high risk, low gain bet
I’ll try some other day
see a friend and talk a while
turn the bend and walk a mile
get inside and fake a smile
hope that I go out in style
if this is life I’ll pass it by
if this is truth I’ll still ask why
I’ll pay the piper when I die
It’s my own price to pay

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

In case you hadn't noticed...

And you well might not have noticed, particularly if you are getting this through the Google Reader, or some sort of RSS type thing, where the embeds appear to not be showing up: I've once again been adding player links to such songs as are available in a playable form, which are by far the minority of my vast repertoire, most of which exists, in musical form (if it exists at all), only in my head.

I have conceived various schemes to rectify this reality, at least in some tiny respect, but recording is a long and difficult process and has been, in my own experience, largely unrewarding. There is some sort of bootstrap interval in all this that I can't see clear to navigate through. My existing recording isn't good enough to subsidize getting better.

I really don't know if I'll do more recording. The writing has become something else in my life, now, the songs are a sort of fossil record of my mental processes, a tiny thread of information that accretes on its own schedule and with little apparent connection to forming a coherent narrative or anything else useful, for that matter. I am as reasonably satisfied with this process as I am with anything else about my productive efforts in this life, which is to say not that particularly fucking satisfied, but that's a topic for another blog, one which does not exist to my great relief. Because that is about two steps too far down a road I know in my heart it is better not to go down. Forget I said anything.

Anyway.

I have a couple of things in the can that satisfy my barest requirements of being not so egregiously awful that I will suffer them to be exposed to public ridicule. I finally got it together long enough to organize all that and put together a profile on the site de jour for the marginal musical artist, Bandcamp. Not to say everyone using this service is marginal, far from it, but being free and open to all there's no sense denying that we mediocrities outnumber the shining lights (fucking motto of the internet, hmm, I'm thinking I might not have chosen the right morning to write this announcement after all but hey ho anyway).

Note of amusement is that Bandcamp only accepts lossless source tracks for artist input, so given my disgusting penchant, often, for recording straight to MP3 the most tedious part of the process was having upsample a lot of the stuff so that I could upload it. So if you run across any gnarly audio artifacts in the finished product, uh, sorry.

You can buy it all if you're so inclined. If you were ever a patron of the long-defunct 33 Magazine, I'll note, you should not do so: if you want anything you don't already have just drop me a line and I will be happy to provide it in any format you might be lacking. I'll note one more time that the opportunity to purchase the greatest hits directly from me at a radical discount is on the trembling verge of vanishing as well, with this announcement.

And now that I've got you all positive and excited, allow me to present:

My new Bandcamp page.

The Two Track Mind Era 8: Better Way

2,147 : 20 ?


So hey you think you’ve got me
backed into a corner locked in tight
you think you’ve got me all tied up
you think you finally killed my fight
Not in this life, not in this life
Not while I’m still sucking air
Not while I’m still standing
Not while I still care
You think it’s easy, simple
answer is so obvious
I will not accept your answers
I will not accept you answer

There’s got to be a better way

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 7: Read Between My Lines (II)

Hold me hold me hold me hold me hold me
Hold me tight hold me back
from being what so much what I am
so little what I want to be
Hold me
Holding back I hold myself away from you
Making less mistakes this time I’m being true
to being cool
I’m so cool
I keep myself away from you
When I think of holding your hand I shiver
Reach out but I know you can’t deliver
me from be
being so much
Less than all I am
I never say what I mean
I never say all I want to
But if you could read between my lines

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 6: Read Between My Lines

2,141 : 14 ?


I’d like to tell you a true story,
like to tell you a true story,
like to tell you a true story,
now
I’d like to tell you a true story,
like to tell you a true story,
like to tell you a true story,
never heard a true story
I never say what I mean
I never say all I mean
I never say what I mean
I never say all I mean
I never say what I mean
I never say all I mean
I never say what I mean
I never say all I mean
But if you could read between my lines

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 5: Invulnerable

Life is hard and a kid gets kicked around for being different
Life is cruel and a kid learns to grow up quick learns to get tough quick
How’d you get through my defenses
I don’t even like you
It’s the wrong situation
My arms are not wide open
My heart’s set in concrete
I cannot be moved
I’m invulnerable, I’m invulnerable, I’m invulnerable, I’m invulnerable
I don’t get tossed around by a change in the weather
don’t believe in love or forever and ever
I take care of myself you better do the same
you better do the same
We’re painted into a corner
it’s not our fault
but we’re boxed in tight
Can we get out
without leaving tracks
or should we run or fight
I’m invulnerable, I’m invulnerable, I’m invulnerable, I’m invulnerable
I’m invulnerable, I’m invulnerable, I’m invulnerable, I am vulnerable

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 4: I’m No Goddamned Good

I’d like to be the kind of guy
that falls like an angel from the sky
honest charming caring true
I’d like to be all that and more for you
but I’m no goddamned good
ooh baby
I’m no goddamned good
Oh it’s true I’d like to be the man for you
but I’m no goddamned good
a frangible person
anxious without grace
myself considered as a helix of worthless sand
a stupid looking face
Oh baby
I’m no goddamned good
ooh baby
I’m no goddamned good
Oh it’s true I’d like to be the man for you
but I’m no goddamned good

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 3: Decompression Chamber

2,133 : 6 ?


You are in a decompression chamber
Some disorientation is completely normal
Please try not to be alarmed
You are completely safe
You are beyond danger now
You ascended too quickly
The paralysis and pain you are experiencing
is a result of a formation of gas bubbles in the bloodstream
This condition is known as Caisson disease
or more commonly the bends
It is not uncommon
Although your case was particularly severe
We will gradually reduce the pressure
until you acclimate to standard conditions

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

Only the Very Greatest Hits - its cheap direct download days are numbered...

Only the Very Greatest Hits will very shortly no longer be available via direct download from me over at the store.

The wherefore on this is that I am just about ready to go public with my new Band Camp profile, which is how all the cool kids are motivating their Rock-N-Roll these days. The move will be accompanied by a price hike because hey, why not?

So if you've been holding off you best get it while it's hot. Or be out like 3 dollars, oh man.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 2: Song

Promised that I’d
start creating
add a little
every day
all my words seem
forced and banal
haven’t anything
to say
song cannot
repair my losses
song cannot make
right what’s wrong
song is good for
this one moment
look behind
look back
the moment’s gone
is it fate
or cosmic chance
does it require
an act of will
I wants so much
I want so much
to rise
above the swill

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

The Two Track Mind Era 1: Dr. Everyday

Welcome one and all to the Chaosium Rollercoaster
Keep to the right, please
Trust me, everyone will get a chance
Ooh, the blood-red flowers of regret
You haven’t seen the worst of it yet
You on the left, if you’d pass the buck
You on the right, if you’d pass the hat
There, that works out nicely
I guess you’d call that entropy

I went to see Dr. Everyday
I said Doc, I think I need an X-ray
He said, that won’t be necessary
Held up a mirror said son, what do you see
Well, Doc, I been down so long
It looks like up to me

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

but if you could read between my lines

So ends the college interval of the interim and ugh, good riddance. Hardcore obviously not my genre.

And on, shortly, to the Two Track Mind era, my mostly solo home-recording experiments of the first few years post-college. The two tracks in question were the right and left stereo recording input channels of my Realistic Modulaire 2250 Dual Cassette Boombox that I bought from Reed's Music and Radio Shack in Montevideo MN, at the cost of probably 50 or 60 hours spent mowing the church lawn... These days you'd be hard pressed to find a box like this, featuring as it did dual, stereo-separated microphone inputs and RCA input and output, that allowed me to use it as a rough but functional home recording studio. I bought a cheap cassette 4-track later. The boom box got left at one of my weirder jobs. Long story.

A lot of these lyrics, anyway, were cooked up on the fly, in the midst of noodling audio experimentation. All early to mid '90s provenance.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here