2.880 : 9/30/07 : Just Play

I’m doing exactly what

I would be doing on my last day

on the last day

happy birthday

And still the future bears down

feeling up against it

but let’s just play

let’s just play

where else would I be

who else would I be with

And still I wonder

and still I worry

nothing’s as important

all the rest’s a myth

still I slack and

still I hurry

I’m doing exactly what

I would be doing on my last day

on the last day

Happy birthday

what

2.879 : 9/29/07 : Food Chain

Everything that stops will start again

It’s part of nature so take heart my friend

But everything that starts must stop

So eat drink and be merry

while you’re at the food chain’s top

They say we’re damaging the natural balance

Like an electron striving out of its valence

But if they’re right its evolution’s fuck up

There but for the grace of Darwin so buck up

But if it’s God then what the fuck man?

Was evil just a way to get unstuck then?

Some devil on my shoulder keeps insisting

You made up Lucifer just to keep things interesting

A real good theory is that nothing matters

The law of entropy says it all scatters

in the end till it’s drawn back into a tight hot point

creation nails you up to the universal joint

and blows its stack straight back again

ignore it, hold your breath & count to ten

what

2.878 : 9/28/07 : A Scythe

I dream a scythe to sweep through all

the meta, artifacts and thrall

It’s been too long it’s all the same

It’s still this still this still this game

If I could mix it up like a cocktail

and serve it glowing over ice

Would you consider this a derail

Would you think that it was nice?

It’s effortless enough so why do I complain

21st century born of an airplane

too much conflict shouting in my ear

I’ve had enough just get me out of here

If I made a bad gaffe would you forgive

remember where my heart was firmly staked

I got nothing left now and yet on I live

regardless how the premise is half-baked

what

2.877 : 9/27/07 : Cycle

I’m at the unholy mercy of the cycle

Going mano a mano with the angel Michael

Where the moving finger touches I collapse

blame it on conditioning; a faulty synapse

predictably down in the bowels of toil

alone without antagonist or a foil

no exposition there no chance at action

not much chance at all up against the faction

of rhetoricians and armchair pundits

how long ago did I exhaust the fun bits

these days I’m just in there to stay awake

and see what strange familiar form

the cycle will take

what

2.876 : 9/26/07 : Diving after Poison

That ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-aah you hear

is me diving after the poison pill

ten years too late, but anyway

The pit I thought was bottomless

the rushing of ephemeris

and too much information

too long, didn’t read where’s your grand creation

now?

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

to hell with Galileo

I’ll fall faster singing hey-oh!

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

And when I grasp it burning in my hand

I know that it will be enough

and I will understand

Ah-ah-ah-ah-aah!

And fly back to the light!

what

2.875 : 9/25/07 : Stoichiometry

I’m feeling like my life is

run by stoichiometry

hedged in on all sides by

unbreakable geometry

defined by mobility

money time credentials

feeling grim deficient

in all of the essentials

I push the numbers ‘round

to feel I’m keeping busy

trying to see something new

in them makes me dizzy

all things must be conserved

entropy paid its due

I don’t know how the hell

the extra push I need could get through

what

2.874 : 9/24/07 : This Dull Morass

The axis is bigger than I had suspected

thoughts I thought long-buried

are now resurrected

When the days I’d spoken of are come to pass

will there remain a dim light

in this dull morass

The lesson should have taken twenty years ago

the holy present is the only

thing we know

but I just went ahead and chased the will-o-wisp

and justified my error

like a solipsist

I can’t believe I let another week slide by

I can’t believe I still believe

I’m not that guy

But then I am surprised to still be climbing

still trying to carve the thoughts out

and still rhyming

I’m trying to believe that you are with me always

I’m trying to worry not but that’s a

hard sell these days

The lunatics are running everything down here

A little help my Lord from my lips

to your ear

what

2.873 : 9/23/07 : Those Villains

3,065 : 12 ?

The currency was tanking

and still all the wonks were wanking

over how to spin the platter

of a thousand things that did not matter

I was trying to get off

all the steam I failed to let off

it was building to an evil head

here’s what those villains said

we must fight the moral battle

here’s the fence that you must straddle

please ignore diminishing returns

also the fact that fire burns

we’re only watching out for you

too simple to know what to do

so please hold these thoughts a while

and hand your papers over with a smile

with key indexes eroding

so much improvised exploding

I was dreaming like a blackguard

sneaking one across the long yard

just one sweet culture bait job

dressed up hurried and cut rate job

roll my score up yeah and get out

what a freedom whoop I’d let out

till I came back to my senses

saw my stupid rose-hued lenses

felt the sickness still inside

an hour left I better hide

what

2.872 : 9/22/07 : Tiny Genesis

Wanting to start too big to begin at the end without earning

Wanting to claim each lost notion instrumentalize all their returning

Grasping for some past emotion or moment transient state of mind

And waiting and waiting for call revelation some augury ought to unwind

Tiny genesis will you be sufficient

I’m not forthright constant or efficient

But I put the lines down in the end

And that is enough for you my friend

Not knowing the point or the purpose of still after all persisting

I can’t tell if I’ve got high standards or merely a thing for resisting

And if it all comes to another uncertain and slim masterpiece

Will I call it a day at ten times the price will it feel any more like release

Tiny genesis will you be definitive

Every dangling participle, split infinitive

Will I lose all the points on mechanics

or just drop the ball when the ego panics

I fear false beginnings are just as pernicious as contrived endings

I guess that somewhere in the middle is hidden the essential bendings

I guess That I guess all too often and what can I say it’s my nature

but it’s been a long time and for a long time I’ve lost faith in the great cure

tiny genesis everything’s always beginning

and if you find me here slack jawed and grinning

for once it’s not just a chemical spoke

Maybe for just a blink I felt in on the joke

what

2.871 : 9/21/07 : Lie Back and Take It

Oh my beautiful country

no you were never half so pure

as the songs made out

but I think we’ve really

crossed the line now

I think we turned your inner demons out

lie back and take it

feel the liberty call me

a patriot

yell a little if you have to

after all its shocking

to be taken hard by idiots

I know I must be

at least half wrong

but I’m not sure that makes them

half right

I worried and vexed at

the puzzle

I kept on waking you up all night

Lie back and take it

your modesty’s not worth

a loss of our “way of life”

close your eyes

and think of yourself

while we fix you with a knife

what

2.870 : 9/20/07 : Half Lived

Statistics are not fairness, kindness, justice

no matter that they seem to be on your side

It’s true I might be at the very middle point of life

the river here does not seem too damn wide

half lived: is it the better or the worse half left

characteristic of the bass or treble clef

I am tired tired tired of the lash of fear

what’s the use when I know we’re all for out of here?

there’s no glass eyes or wooden legs left at the healing pool

and if I make excuses for it then I’m more the fool

so what’s left to me besides what boils down to blind chance

and even at the outliers the inevitable proceeds in its inexorable dance

feelings are not evidence tradition’s no excuse

and still I try to sort out my believing

knowing so few will understand and less will care so what’s the use

yet I cannot ignore this constant message I’m receiving

resist it as I might I know living’s only here and now

And God does not require my defense in this eternal moment does endow

my half life with the power to be complete

I guess I’ve got to be thankful I’m still on my feet

what

2.869 : 9/19/07 : I’m Not Sick

I heard the message:

I could not stand to listen to the speech

in awe of those who can both

do and teach

and sickened with myself

at how I whine and pout

I’m not sick: and I’ve got nothing to complain about

So much is given

and so much is taken

I can barely bear to contemplate

just what cannot be shaken

they came up with a weapon

that broadcasts pain

yet he’s the one who is going to die

what can we hope to gain

wondering how long I will

allow myself to fake it

this secret harbored in my breast

that I don’t think we’re gonna make it

after that I guess

it all just becomes a time scale

watching for our numbers up

our mean time

before

fail

what

2.868 : 9/18/07 : The Moment

If the moment ever came

it’s passed now

I’m faking gains

like Skilling and Fastow

I’m maybe not the sharpest

knife in the block

I’m dying for a moment

just to rest and take stock

Why am I hungry

why so sick and tired

how did I ever manage

to avoid getting fired

and now that I’m

the only boss I’ve got

there’s no one else to pin on

how I got in this spot

it’s been too long

that it’s all been a slog

trying to hunt with

this no-account dog

In time the moment

will come ‘round again

but what will I make of it

I won’t know till I begin

what

2.867 : 9/17/07 : Soul Bell

When did I first hear

the soul bell ringing

and when did I first

know its name

When did I first fear

it was a siren singing

and how long have I

danced around that game

I thought I’d find a gig

just ringing it all day long

I thought it would be

easy, automatic

I found it in movies

books and songs

but my own search

only came up static

there’s no soul bell

to be found in this mess

Such a typical

display of irony

I pray in my comfort

and I pray under duress

that somewhere out there

it’s still ringing for me

what

2.866 : 9/16/07 : Solution

3,058 : 5 ?

Another virus worm

twists into my breath

another dim day’s contest

comes to sudden death

doing later again

what I could have done sooner

another ballad cliché

another fly me to the mooner

I tear it off right there

declare that tale told

raise to mind the image

of a tower of gold

wrapped in a hologram

of Purest white

just a strange little scene

I never manage to write

there’s a girl with wings

and a magic machine

at the cusp of contemplation

it all seems so clean

but it all gets messy

in the execution

so till then give what I got

the song a day solution

what

2.865 : 9/15/07 : Drift, Escape

Looking for the drift, escape

stay sharp to get it down on tape

a little play of light and wit

kill an hour or two and split

the middle of some

business I don’t follow

the blare of justifying

ringing hollow

I plot to unleash my testimony

Woo Mr. Brilliant with the dog and pony

just like that the drift

reverie is shattered

always drawn by

everything that mattered

and what I can or can’t

is not the real point

rage or rest

a new day I’ll anoint

what

2.864 : 9/14/07 : Worm Turns

The worm turns hard again

and bites me on the ass

sorry to be crude

but you find me at a crude pass

was it something I ate

that argument we had

a decade and a half well

half the time it didn’t seem bad

I’m fed up with the worm

I am no fragile flower

the worm predates the wife and kid

the dull stint in the ivory tower

and these days things are better

more rarely my tripe burns

but in a way it makes it worse

whenever the worm turns

what

2.863 : 9/13/07 : Tide

I dreamed about

the man who wrote about

the place where you could

stand to see the place

where the tide

turned

I turned you out

ignored your raging shout

eyes shut I knocked on wood

and tipped my wet face

toward where outside

burned

the line's still there

I guess I still care

but I’ve never been

to see with my own eyes

whether they’re the right

kind

I give a hard stare

know that nothing’s fair

in the city of sin

all the name implies

pronounce the last insight

blind

what

2.862 : 9/12/07 : Waiting for a Mission

Waiting for a mission getting softer

Thinking I have picked the wrong oracle

Has it been five - ten - indeed twelve years

waiting for the wrong miracle

Do I have the stones to stand again

and claim some moment of transition

no I shall not no more of that con

I’ll be silent wait for my mission

what

2.861 : 9/11/07 : Bible Lessons

I’m trying to educate the youth

with my bible lessons

Raw and uncouth

just to get under the skins

of the pro unbelievers

in their brainbox bins

You could say I wasted

an hour on it

but I try like hell to

justify each little bit

a fan’s a fan

and I don’t got many

so ask for a little

I’ll give you plenty

what

2.860 : 9/10/07 : God Told Me

God told me to start a band
God told me to take the
knife in my hand
God told me to kill a son
I said I guess
I’m not the one
I saw the Presence
but I received no instruction
absent both
now I move
by spiritual induction
I claim no special insight
no grasp of the divine
it’s something like a practice
not belief
or anodyne

what

2.859 : 9/9/07 : Sweet Baby

I hear a whisper
a croon a call
Up the stairs around the corner
at the end of the hall
Come to bed
lay your head down
sweet baby
even if nothing’s
gonna turn out right
in the end
we had today
and we’ve got tonight
so she said
and I looked out at our town
sweet baby
a rough morning
from a crazy night
and all that I pushed hardest
turned out out of sight
So let it all unspool out of my head
and lost that frown
sweet baby

what

2.858 : 9/8/07 : Wedding Can

I dreamed this song up
in the Wedding Can
a perfect crucible to song
the make of a real man
on a farm that smelled so
God damned much like home
I beat the fucking cognitive
dissonance
to sea foam
This is real:
I am God damn here
I can’t take it with me
but I aim to be; clear
as the sun
on a morning
without cloud or haze
I’m the fucking narrator
the author of days
show me another
I’ll gladly bow
to my mother superior
my own private sacred cow:
I’ve overstayed my welcome
I fear I’ve tipped my hand
I’m an everyday adherent
of the Bible of the promised land
I sanctify this sad position
read by some wise glint
I’ll ride it like a comet
end up full of piss, and skint

what

2.857 : 9/7/07: Consideration

How much could be ameliorated
how much could be deferred
by just a little consideration
a considered thought
action
word
trying to hold a line against fury
satisfying crackle of rage
deep down I swear that I don’t want it
but this paragraph must run
to the bottom of its page
consideration
all is asked is a little
thought forbearance
it’s not a test puzzle or riddle
it’s not a capital or
information
just a pause
subjunctive clause
aside for consideration

what

2.856 : 9/6/07 : Ire

The ire is up I’m feeding it
On every bitch that doesn’t give a shit
I want it sharper hotter meaner
I want you taken to the cleaner
Straighten up your spine there’s no excuse
Kindly explain to me what’s your fucking use
mine is easy ain’t it cook and clean
I think you know exactly what I mean
the ire will burn then smoke and die
I hope you get the worst bit in your eye
I don’t feel sorry wrong or cruel
call it a weapon call it a tool

what

2.855 : 9/5/07 : Plainly

Plainly the system needs work
I try not to look like such a jerk
I try to stick a pin in some event
is there still room for me under your tent
I confess I’m just trying to fake it through
Somewhere along the line I lost my retinue
lost my crown and scepter now I’m some nobody
but if I were still king in your hands I’d still be putty
Plainly I’ve got a lot to live for each day
plainly I think I’ve got a lot to say
but at the crunch I just want to lay it to rest
another day another another test

what

2.854 : 9/4/07 : Love Is All

Why is it so hard
when love is all around
stuffing every channel
splashed on billboards all over town
maybe that’s the answer
media’s
devalued coin
rather keep my
motives pure
that motley throng
I will not join
hey maybe that’s
a dim excuse
maybe I refuse
to let my impulse loose
and dress it up as
scruples reservation
preserve the illusion
of my own
exalted station

what

2.853 : 9/3/07 : Keep it Simple

Regardless of
how I starkly protest
It seems again
I fail this test
not just to rectify
but stay on that
straight route
falling behind
yet once again
stumbling along with
my senseless pen
Again again I
think I’ll work it out
what I wouldn’t give
to keep it simple
love and stars
a smile a dimple
failing that why
won’t the bitch just let me quit
I know, I shouldn’t
blame the muse
still I swear I’d gladly recuse
myself if you’d just
show me some finer
end of it

what

2.852 : 9/2/07 : Slow Time

The wall’s just a metaphor
though certainly not for a door
it marks the changeover
back into slow time
I don’t believe we’ll make it to the asymptote
I don’t believe I’ll live to see that’s all she wrote
Still I might see the seed sown
of some strange new old fashioned future paradigm
such gorgeous lies we now concoct
and parables of worlds we rocked
I imagine we’ll pull together another run
up the slope of the great geometric
bio and nano on top of electric
on our slow way to be absorbed by the sun

what

2.851 : 9/1/07 : Previews (In the Near Future)

3,043 : 2 ?



In the near future
my unorthodox opinion
will become simply the recognized
assessment of the way of things
this business isn’t confidence
it’s sadly close to indifference
in some respects it’s easy
to see what tomorrow brings
but I’ll avoid detailing the previews
the coming attractions
they sound too sexy but
the won’t be like that at all
I rather expect we’ll quickly
accept and then scarcely notice
how we swiftly pile together
straight into the wall

what