443 : 6/27/99 : Random Walk

It’s a bright light
but so very far away
so very very very far away
It’s a long shot
this world seems very strange
But I swear I’m gonna get there by next May
I’m a wild one
I refuse to sit up straight
And act the part of every other dupe
When my day comes
I’ll be ready to begin
And amaze you with the speed I make the loop
Don’t look back now
There is only one way through
This dancing random walk along the beach
It’s a straight line
And they all lead to one place
Thank God it’s such an easy place to reach

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

442 : 6/26/09 : Final Reckoning

Is this the final reckoning
Is this the light of the new day
An intention is lost in a moment
And every slate is cleaned and put away
Do I have to go on after this
Always pushing on
Such a sad way to end a contemplative day
Such a sad little have finished song
Final reckoning draw down
the scorecard by
whoever’s accounting
Draw down the final heil
Already the resistance is mounting
Lie down give it up let it go
It’s all I’ve heard and all I know
final reckoning
Put me off another day
I’ll get my accounts in order
Just give my rope a little more play

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

441 : 6/25/99 : Naturally

Oh Lord what will become of me
I go along this crazy rut
just doing what comes naturally
It always seems harmless but
I can’t deny my situation gives me pause
And it’s a crazy world that I’m in
Man is mortal feeble ruled by laws
wracked by doubt and soaked in sin
And a natural man stands little chance
In a society of cunning and thieves
of finding beauty or enjoying romance
maybe the smart nature boy just leaves
And finds a bunch of people who believe
like him in a better way
And know what you sew you receive
And help them build the new day
It’s just all got to happen naturally
Like everything always does
I see it coming and it’s plain to see
That there only ever is and never was

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

440 : 6/24/99 : Patience

Patience is a virtue it’s said
that kind of truth gets turned on its head
every time it’s inconvenient
Any time the rules get lenient
Patience is a game that I play
finding hidden virtue in a dull day
When you have no choice but a waiting game
When you have no choice patience is just a name
That we give ourselves when we can’t decide
Whether to buy the ticket or miss the ride
The act’s convincing but I can’t hide
the truth of the inevitable where we all reside
Patience is the attitude I’ve sworn to
And seems the sole response to this world we’re born to
The end can be delayed but never stopped
Sooner or later the bubble gets popped
Patience makes the world roll ‘round its track
Sooner or later we all work our way back
RIght out of existence and into light
Patience makes it easy but it can’t make it right

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

439 : 6/23/99 : Anger Rising

Anger rising that’s unsurprising
It’s all the usual things
I’m sick of thinking of the rest
A little sleep I think is best
If I lay down in anger take it with me to the springs
Hold me up bed soothe this crazy blinded head
Hold my anger in check a little while
strap me down I’m in a fit to paint the town
With a golden crown and a million dollar smile
Bubbling boiling, strikes me while I’m toiling
In the fields of human endeavor
Always everywhere a circle cannot be a square
And we’re all searching for a longer lever

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

438 : 6/22/99 : Grip

1,511 : 0 ?


What is grip what is adhesion
How do I get it how do I keep hold?
With this festering lesion
When my hands are so very cold?
What is this surface tension
That throws me back most every night?
These scenes we pass without mention
These horrors we excise from sight
Who is that stranger in the corner
gripping a black flame in his hand
who is that turning as grey as a mourner
who is that sinking in the sand
I lost my grip on passive resistance
Found myself beaten with a cross
Found myself jailed at the public’s insistence
When I get out I’ll be my own boss
What holds the whole damn thing together
Is the grip tight or is it loose
I might feel light as any feather
I’ll weigh enough at the end
of that noose

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

437 : 6/21/99 : Rushing

Rushing to this rushing to that
never a moment to rest or kick back
And we wonder why we’re always
Tired these days
Rush to buy this lay the cash down
Never pause to think what we already own
And we wonder why we never
have enough pay
Rush to get tight, rush to get high
push ourselves until the whole show passes us by
And we wonder why the kids
Are rushing down the same pipe
I’m rushing right now, can’t seem to stop
Somebody please stop this thing and call a cop
Maybe if I were cited I’d slow down
And stop producing such tripe

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

436 : 6/20/99 : 1984, 1884

He said it’s just like 1984
I said how exactly do you mean
He said the only thing Orwell got wrong
Was to think they’d have to force us into staring at that screen
He said we’ve lost our sense of history
Well just think back to 1884
We may still read Sappho or Huckleberry Finn
But who remembers With Fire and Sword anymore
Cleveland elected Harry Truman born
There’s always more replacements on the way
No one remembers the first underground train
But we listen to Brahms Opus 90 to this day
What’s the word the rise of Johannesburg
There’s so much history in every thing
Who really knows what was happening then
who could have guessed what the future would bring
I said the only thing I can’t figure
Is how any of it relates to 1984
He said I guess I failed to make my point
just we’re always in the process
of kicking down some door

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

435 : 6/19/99 : The Universe

The universe is awfully big and
awfully old and we’re so young and small
And every time I think I know
something I find I don’t know much at all
I find it hard to take you people who
are so sure you’ve got it solved
But are you any worse than guys
like me
Who can’t decide and so won’t get involved
The universe is awfully strange and
spread out awfully thin it seems
And it’s awfully hard to tell just how much
of it’s just a product of our dreams
We dream of order dream of cycles
imagining a permanence we cannot find
our lives are brief and frustrating
This fleeting present moment like the million
we leave behind
I’ve got my patch of ground to roam in
My little stage here in the Big Show
Got no script got no directions
But I play it like you wouldn’t
even know

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

434 : 6/18/99 : The Wire

We all know it’s out there
Waiting to cut us off in our prime
None of us talks about it much
But we think about it all the time
We all know it’s down there
buried deep under the ground
carrying the signals conducting
the energy that turns the whole thing around
Everyone comes to the moment
When troubles surround you like a runaway fire
We race ahead blind and wondering
If we’ll manage to slip under the wire
Are we struggling to be free again
Cut the wires and stand on our own feet
Mister be careful what you ask for
there’s many a twisty turn down that street
We may get wired, we may go wireless
We may all get wired for the big sound
We may wake up and find ourselves surrounded
Wires in our heads, up above, underground

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

433 : 6/17/99 : Big Blue

Look at me standing there
in front of the Big Blue Ocean
I only vaguely remember now
It’s nothing but a notion
I spend far too much time
listening to myself think
It’s a game I like to play at night
edge a little closer to the brink
Hey big blue
Won’t you carry me along
On a big big wave
Won’t you sing me a better song
Oh look at me swinging there
At the intersection of innocence and fate
I imagine that I’m free of care
But even there I hesitate
To make any assumptions
The past is so hard to know
hanging in front of the Big Blue
at an intersection of stay and go

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

432 : 6/16/99 : Quid Pro Quo

The name of the game is
quid pro quo
this for that and
this I know
the man with nothing
in his hands
he isn’t even real
in this promised land
The real entertainment
is let’s make a deal
there’s only one rule, that’s
cheat when you can’t steal
me I got nothing
even less than that
still I’ve got few surprises
tucked under my hat
Give something for nothing
surprise the dogs
Who never figured us to be
anything but cogs
I’ve got one last trick tucked up my sleeve
I won’t play by the rules
And I refuse to leave.

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

431 : 6/15/99 : Desperation

1,505 : 3 ?


I can’t deny I’m desperate
at least I try to keep it quiet
you must admit there’s not much hope
for those who will not even try it
Try for one day to be silent
listen to the rest of what goes on
listen to the thousand other voices
the one thousand and first song
desperation is my engine
drives me always to ask more
always looking at the far side
looking for an untried door
It might be the secret motive
that fuels flux and revolution
buried deep inside our tissues
desperate seeds of evolution

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

430 : 6/14/99 : Well Run Dry

Well the well run dry, wasn’t no water
and they caught him shacked up
with the Governor’s daughter
They dragged her away and set his house on fire
He was livid he was very wroth
He said man takes to trouble
like a flame draws a moth
put a fence round his burnt house
made a’ broken glass and barb wire
Said I know what I’s infer when a well runs dry
Most men would walk away
but I’m no ordinary guy
black stone on stone pile it all up again
We’re always building where our luck
ran out
we always come back
to our temples of doubt
and that two edged sword
is a might mightier
Than my pen

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

429 : 6/13/99 : What Is

All philosophies collapse back to absurdities
And all my silly ditties cannot
bring this bad old world in line
But rocking in my chair close to despair
I find how I fare is not
the only truth I have made mine
What is, what is
what is this eternal optimism
what is, what is
this brave face in the end of endless schism
every religious fusion seems based on love and confusion
pinned under the huge sun we must
somehow make sense of our lot
And that’s a hard row’s hoeing never knowing
where we’re going
always changes wind is blowing
tossed by senses, spirits, thought
what is, what is
that’s all I know and all I’ll ever
what is what is
until I’m part of it forever

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

428 : 6/12/99 : What If

We spend our lives in hiding
Fearing the moment that never comes
Whispering crazily to ourselves
When the whole universe is dumb
What if it never comes?
What if I’m only dreaming?
What if nothing is real?
What if there’s only the seeming?
We spend our whole lives running
after a shadowy destination
dreaming there is a finish line
this side of creation
what if we never arrive?
what if I’m on the wrong path
How will I ever survive
on the other side of the aftermath
We spend our whole lives seeking another
man or God or anyone but ourselves
Some see the spirits of days gone by
or smoke DMT and see electric elves
What if we’re all alone?
What if there’s no one anywhere
Could one person alone make all this up?
Could one person alone even care?

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

427 : 6/11/99 : Bitter

I’ll top my cup with a spoon of sugar
The medicine is strong but the cup is bitter
The choices I made put the cup in my hand
I’ll knock the rest back when I’m feeling fitter
But a voice like the sun said you’re not fooling anyone
You got to drink it now
This is the cup you asked me to fill up
It only gets worse with time somehow
Look at me and look on my face
The bitter seeps into my eyes
I can’t remember sun or rain or how I felt
the first time I slipped my hand up between her thighs
Medicine man just doing what I can
Another graceless metaphor
I tip my head back and brace for attack
Such a long bitter trip from here to the door
He said do you really want to end this son
Cause when the drink is gone I’m gonna call you up
I said I’ll take my bitter with my sweet
with my hands locked tightly round the cup

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

426 : 6/10/99 : By Choice

1,500 : 6 ?


By choice it seems we take the dreams
That are sent to us that are meant for us
And if it feels like fate
or savage random chance
The little on our plate
That never meets with our demands
By choice I leave or am left to grieve
When friends move on like forgotten songs
And if it seems unlikely that
we choose the shit we’re in
I still insist it’s tit for tat
When first we reckon to begin
I stiffen up I’ve given up
So bound to earth so little worth
The time we spend in calculating
How we’ll beat the clock and city hall
But here’s the truth I’m stating
It’s all a choice made backed against a wall

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

425 : 6/9/99 : Second Organization

Once we scrape down the sides of the barrel
we’re closer than you think
Once we’ve got it all on digital at our fingerprints
And start wasting our lives away on downlink
Once it all blows up in our faces
Race and sex and politics and drugs
Won’t we have a stupid expression
When King Entropy yanks out the rugs
I’m ready I can see into the future
The way we have to fuck it all around
The way we have to fuck ourselves into the deepest hole
we can find every time we hear the Big Sound
Aga Khan and Dalai Lama
Jomo Kenyatta and Marcus Garvey too
We got no spiritmen ain’t got ourselves no heroines
Got only our sorry selves to get ourselves through
Once we start digging into our chaos engines
Our ethics already on vacation
Inevitably the fittest wills survive
Time for the Second Organization

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

424 : 6/8/99 : Things Got Strange

It wasn’t anything organized
It came right outta thin air
Fifty thousand strong it blossomed
From hither you and nowhere
Somebody put mescaline in Congress’ water supply
Some of them thought they saw Jesus, some of them
thought they would die
And then things got strange
Do you remember the blitz
of email messages and crazy cartoons
Everybody picked up a little spare power
sifted a little gold outta the ruins
Somebody hacked the big computer’s
motherboard
I’ll never forget the day every cash
machine went out of its gourd
And then things got strange
When all the ecstasy showed up on the street
And everyone’s radio blew the same beat
Someone hacked the satellite from underground
And at eleven fifty one thousand
nine hundred ninety nine they uplinked
the New Sound...
And then things got strange

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

423 : 6/7/99 : The Afterlife

I hope to God there’s another world past this one
I hope to God I hope to God there is
I ponder every point of view but always feel I missed one
I just hope there’s something more than this
I’d like to believe that there’s something for me and you
Past this veil of tears and heartache and bitter strife
Oh God could you bring just bring a sign it might be true
I want so very much to believe in the afterlife
In teevee and in movies the good guys always win
but out here the winners are the ones who make us lose
I’m so tired of waiting for my real life to begin
I’m so tired of waiting in this line I didn’t choose
Whatever’s out there out beyond this crazy game
Whatever happens when our bodies set us free
I just keep hoping it’s not more of the same
But I guess that that what will be will be will be

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

422 : 6/6/99 : The Battle of the Bulge

These are the rag men; jaws slack eyes hollow as hell
(I could not have fought in the Battle of the Bulge)
I can only hear the stories that the old men tell
I can only listen to the horrors the old men divulge
They say two thousand died a day the lucky ones
These then are the hollow men who fought for reasons
Who lived and mostly died from disease or bombs or guns
who knows who refused and yet we call their actions treasons
No one has the right we all usurp to create history
Someone steals the right and forces us to go along
Forces us to see to face the bloody evil mystery
Fills men’s minds with memories that never will be gone
Evil’s always pushing out somewhere in this world
Another bulge that someone must push down
Rearing like the serpent’s head around the whole earth curled
Seems like more evil’s the only way to regain that ground
I wish I had a mighty army of the hollow men
Guess they’re mostly dead but still I wish it so bad
Wish I had an army brought down from heaven
Only they could explain how badly we’ve been had

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

421 : 6/5/99 : Fatigue

On the grim outer rim of fatigue
I keep searching for the answers
Questions that seem so far out of my league
and grow in my mind like cancers
I’ve been searching for such a long time
A search leading to nothing but wall after wall
I’ve searched in reason I’ve searched in rhyme
I’ve run until I had to walk
I’ve walked until I had to crawl
I’m so tired of self-reference
I’m too dull for all this trouble
I’m tired of striving without recompense
For every certainty the uncertainty is double
I’m so tired I could fall right over
and sleep forever like the dead
be absorbed and push up clover
just to be free from what’s in my head
I’m so tired and it’s more than half
of what’s wrong
But the questions are there nonetheless
I got no choice but to write my little song
What it’s good for is anybody’s guess

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

420 : 6/4/99 : Back in the Saddle

I’m back in the saddle again
I tell you friend
sometimes it doesn’t seem like
I’m making much progress
I guess it all must work out in the end
I’m back up on that horse
A little worse for wear of course
Every day I stick to my guns
a little bit tired my voice a little bit hoarse
I made a special vow
to show everybody how
no matter how much
we piss and moan
The curtain comes down we all take a bow
we all bow out in the long run
Sometimes when we think we’ve just begun
And it’s irony sure
the cosmic quip
We all end up silent in the said and done

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

419 : 6/3/99 : A Confession

I’m sick of writing songs today
It’s a confession I’m sad to say
Has been a long time coming
So sick of the rhyming and tapping and humming
The obsessive delineation of verse
so it all gets cryptic vague and terse
All day I act calm and deferential
While my art gets steadily more self-referential
But I guess I’ll push through another dawn
seems like all I’ve ever learned to do is push on

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

418 : 6/2/99 : Still Too Far

Almost there but still too far
writing songs on the phone
Singing all day in the train car
Trying trying always
Dying for a feeling
Oh Lord one of these days
Are you gonna call me up
are you gonna fill up my cup
Till it flows over
into the endless fields of clover
Almost almost there
But still too far

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here

417 : 6/1/99 : Hard Sell

1,490 : 17 ?


I’m sick of the hard sell
From men who own it all anyway
From the forest to the city to the bay
They set the clocks they ring the bell
So why’s it so important
To make me decide to do what they want
Why this illusion this stunt
Maybe they can reason it out I sure can’t
Maybe they can’t abide to see the truth in their lies
Constantly spewing from the magic box
Knock back what rolls and stop what rocks
All to pretend the they still got light in their eyes
I’ve had enough of the hard sell
I’m closing my door in their face
I’ll pay to put myself in place
And I won’t ever tell
They held the secret to my escape
I just listened and heard what they said
Then did the opposite thing instead
Look up it’s me the one in the mask and cape

You can read an explanation of the origin of these lyrics here